#literally the entire theater was cheering when they saw Far Far Away in the distance

[piplupcola]

Before Puss in Boots 2: Shrek 5? Seriously? Come on DreamWorks don't do it we don't need a Shrek 5...

After Puss in Boots 2: OMG THAT FUCKING TEASER AT THE END! HELL YEAH! I CAN'T WAIT FOR SHREK 5!!!

[alhecksanderlightwood]

rk1k prompt: how long does it take for Connor and Markus to finally stop pining over each other, and what (or who) finally gets them together?

Thisone will be in headcanons bc I love varying pleasures

It takes them one year, two months and Josh to finally get over their asses.

They are ridiculously crushing on each other

Have been for ages

They spend hours on end talking to each other, they send each other messages during the day and all.

But they are also complete mess.

Markus once fell down the stairs because he heard Connor laugh from the other side of the room

Connor didn’t see this, thankfully

Connor faceplanted in front of Markus once. He was walking Sumo and Markus was running without a shirt on.

Connor’s systems stopped altogether so he stayed rooted in his spot.

Sumo didn’t stay rooted.

He started running after a squirrel and Connor just fell. Face forward, perfectly standing upright, planking and all around great fall.

He never went to this park again.

He can still hear children laughing at him when he closes his eyes sometimes.

Thankfully, they didn’t see each other that much for the first few months of pining.

Everything was fine, Connor was friends with everyone and he actually started letting go of some of his guilt

But he mostly stayed with Hank or at the police station so he only saw the Jericho Squad once a week really.

Also he didn’t want to go there too much because he never knows if he’s going to embarass himself in front of Markus. his systems seemed to be malfunctioning sometimes.

Then one day android haters ambushed Josh while he was walking down the streets, arms full of speeches, contracts, accords and other important official documents

Josh didn’t want to be aggressive but it became clear that he wouldn’t have a choice

Then Connor arrived and he kicked all of their asses without killing anyone

He had never liked violence but damn, that was impressive

Since then he developped a sort of hero crush on him and asked him to come over to Jericho more often to hang out and they should totally start tonight

Markus freaks out when he says that upon returning home

« Dude, chill I’m fine, Connor took care of them »

« I know that I started scanning you as soon as you entered the room but why did you ask Connor to come over ? »

Now Josh’s pissed and ready to defend Connor’s honour and reputation but then he sees the flush on Markus cheeks

Markus who’s also fidgeting a lot

« Oh right, I forgot about your little crush, well you’re gonna have to suck it up because Connor’s coming over tonight»

Markus squeaks and starts fretting over his clothes and hair

« You’re bald, chill »

So Connor starts coming a lot more. He hangs out with Josh on the regular now.

They have memberships at every theaters in town. Josh likes how the movies make him feel and Connor likes to think seeing humans interact will help him understand his emotions.

One day, they’re watching a movie in Josh’s room and Connor starts nodding off

Josh let him sleep and go off to finish working on some stuff he kept putting off

Then Markus goes in and sees Connor sleeping so peacefully

He freezes for twenty minutes, afraid he’s going to wake the other android up if he moves

Josh comes back and starts livestreaming the scene to the Simon and North

When Connor wakes up, Markus’s gone. He’s in Simon’s room complaining about « pretty curly haired puppy eyed men and their abilities to make him short-circuit »

Markus then decides to distance himself from Connor because he’s such a mess around him and he needs to get himself together.

So they still see each other and talk to each other but Markus doesn’t smile as much or lingers to speak with him and he’s weirdly professionnal

Connor on the other hand is moping.

His movie nights with Josh turn into moping nights. Full of rom-coms and horror movies. (It’s weirdly therapeutic)

Josh wants to hit Markus repeatedly for making Connor look this sad but Markus is also moping and weirdly intent on not talking to the detective.

Then there’s a reception with the Mayor and Connor is security.

He doesn’t do shit but stare at Markus all night.

One man is really drunk when they leave the reception and he starts being really rude to Markus

Connor’s in front of him in a second, staring down at the man and asking him to step away

Markus is the literal definition of heart eyes.

He wants to thank him and apologizes for being such a dick to him by avoiding him but Connor’s already leaving with the lieutenant.

Hank makes fun of Connor during the entire ride home.

« I don’t have a crush »

« Kid, I’m a detective, I know how you look at someone you want to bone »

« You’re insufferable lieutenant »

« And you want to have sex with android jesus »

« He doesn’t like me this way »

« I’m sure he’d like you in all sort of ways, sidewa-God why am I saying this I disgust myself »

Meanwhile, Markus is babbling about how cool that was and how Connor is probably the best android ever made and why did he even think that he had to keep his distance to protect their friendship or the well-being of androids, Connor is g r e a t and Markus want to be with him forever

Josh joins him because he’s the second biggest fanboy of Connor.

Simon threatens them with driving the car into a pole.

Markus relents and accept to just grow some balls and talk to the other android.

Connor keeps a list of some ideas to get Markus to notice him. Because he’s organized like that and he’s over Markus bullshit.

He talks about it to Josh one day and Josh makes fun of him but he relents and listen to him rant about how having a crush is so hard especially if the other person is so perfect but doesn’t seem to like you and it’s so frustrating.

Connor is ranting about loving this guy who he’s not supposed to love but he can’t help it

Markus overhears them as he’s gearing up to finally confess to Connor and he’s heartbroken. If he thought he had a chance it’s clear that he doesn’t now.

Still, he can be a good friend if nothing else so he’ll still go inside and cheer Connor up since he’s basically in the same position as himself and Markus knows how much it sucks so he’ll make sure the detective isn’t as crushed as he is right now.

Except just as he pumps himself up to go in there he hears Josh

« You do realise you can say it’s Markus,  we all know it and honestly I don’t blame you, I think everyone had a crush on him at one point. »

Connor says nothing for a long time and Markus has forgotten how to move, his stress levels are rising dramatically

« I mean, most of us had some crush on you at one point too, but have you seen yourself take down a man ? I’m not attracted to you but damn when you do that ?I would eat you up »

« Fuck off Josh »

« Gladly »

They don’t say anything for a few moments and Markus can imagine Connor fidgeting with his coin behind the door

« Don’t tell him, he has enough on his plate to worry about my feelings on top of it »

That’s when Markus decides to make himself known « Your feelings always matter to me you know »

Josh fake vomits « You fucker, that was so sappy I’mma throw up »

Connor doesn’t say anything but before Josh leaves he can see Markus sitting down on the couch next to Connor and he’s smiling timidly while Connor is freaking out, stress levels dangerously rising until Markus takes his hand in his and starts muttering some stuff he’s too far away to understand.

When he comes by a few hours later to ask them if they’d like to go to a concert North is dragging him to, he’s met with the sight of the two of them, curled up together on the couch

« Oh guys, you’re so cut-WAIT ARE YOU NAKED ? WHY ARE YOU NAKED ON MY COUCH EW GUYS GROSS GO AWAY »

[novelconcepts]

The Last Jedi was far from a perfect movie; the pacing was questionable, and a lot of it just didn't line up with TFA. That said, I actually really enjoyed it for what it is. My highlights under the cut:

REY!:

Literally everything about Rey. I love her Jedi training costume, I love her being dressed in gray shades, I love her boots. I love her training on her own when Luke refuses. I love the fact that she's still using her staff, and I love that she isn't afraid of the lightsaber--but that she doesn't hold it like most Jedi. She holds it like a girl who's learned to fight with a staff first. I love it. 

Rey's Murder Face (™). I love that she is so consistently brutal, that she's all gritted teeth and furious stalk. The grace in her fight scenes is nothing like what we’ve come to expect from a lightsaber; it’s what you’d expect from a cornered tiger. I fucking adore that she has a totally different fighting style

Really, this whole breakdown could be (and is) a love letter to Rey. Rey is my Absolute Fave, and while I spent a lot of the first watch-through nervous for what they'd do with her, it all played out well in the end.

Rey coming at Kylo Ren with so much malice. Rey, even so, trying to see both sides of a miserable story. Rey pulling a whole-ass Luke Skywalker in her "there is still good in him, I sense it, I can help him back"--and Rey, faced with a power-hungry boy who does not want to be saved, who only wants to burn the world down, slamming the door in his face.  

Because, see, this is what I wanted. No romance, none of that "she can save him and erase his terrible decisions" narrative, but a compassionate Rey--a Rey who, like Finn, did not grow up with friendship or love or family in her life, and still craves these things, and still gives these things freely. A Rey who could have grown up into a shuttered, broken human being, and chooses forgiveness first. Chooses the benefit of the doubt. Chooses faith in the best possible option...

...but is not so naive as to think she ought to stick around for a man who slaps down her offer for help. Rey sees his classic abuse tactics--telling her she is nobody, that nobody cares except for him--and walks away, and when he tries to get at her again, she closes that door tight. Rey is a compassionate soul...but it is not her job to save a man who does not want to be better. This is exactly what I would have hoped for her character.

Also, how much do I love that she sees Finn with Rose and does not narrow her eyes in anger, does not seem to view Rose as a threat. Her body language is soft. She is, despite all the gray space in her, soft. 

Poe!:

His jacket. I want Poe's new jacket so bad. 

Poe being a hotheaded idiot. Switching off the comms to keep doing what he perceives to be the right thing? SUCH a Leia move! How could she even be pissed? 

(Because she's got so many of those moves under her belt, and she knows better these days, that's why. Leia don't take no shit. Not from Poe. Not from the Void of Space. Not from nobody.)

Poe learning how to be a hero. Learning that heroes are not all sassing the bad guys and blowing shit up. Learning that your X-Wing is super cool, dude, but maybe the true measure of a hero--and a leader--is knowing how to sit back and listen and make the hard choices with no glory whatsoever. 

Luke!:

Speaking of taking no shit: Luke "Theater Is My Middle Name" Skywalker, looking at that lightsaber and just pitching it over his shoulder. Luke "Drama School Has Nothing On Me” Skywalker just going about his old-ass business of fishing and farming and leaping around this island like Rey isn't there. 

Luke, who admittedly had two less-than-stellar teachers, and manages to hold-my-beer them both. Luke. How do you manage these things, you beautiful grumpy bastard.

Luke's sassy half-assed attempts at teaching. Rey's Fight-Club determination. They are so perfectly matched for each other. I'm sorry we never got him leaping onto her back and forcing her to climb vines, but I guess you can't have everything.

Rey's Murder-Sunshine butting up against Luke's Former Innocence-Turned-Grizzled Guilt is just so...satisfying to me somehow. I know Mark Hamill wasn't thrilled with the road these movies put Luke on, but frankly, it works for me.

Also soft: Luke interacting with his sister after so long, after so much guilt and shame and running away. Luke and Leia, a bond stronger than all the distance in the galaxy. I loved that little moment between them.

As much as I loved Luke's entire third-act charade. His outfit, his not even bothering with the illusion of his green lightsaber--and why would he? Ben Solo saw that saber as a murder weapon--his perfect hair. His little wink, his sassy one-liners, his whole demeanor. I don't love losing Luke, but I do think the way he went out was clean. It was Ben Kenobi. It was Yoda. It was Classic Jedi of the highest order.

(And Yoda was a great little touch. I wasn't...a hundred percent sure about the puppet they used, but it was worlds better than the prequels!Yoda. And I always enjoy him sassily smacking Luke upside the head. Never gets old.)

Leia!:

I don’t have a ton to say about Leia--not because I didn’t love her, but because seeing her onscreen, larger than life and so, so wonderful, hurt my heart. Knowing that the finale was going to belong to Leia, knowing that she was going to have the light shining on her in the end, carves out such a loss. Leia was the first powerful woman I got to see on-screen. Carrie was incredible. I was so glad to see her in this movie, and I am so terribly sad we will not be seeing her again.

But: Force-user Leia? So here for it. So fucking here for it. Anti-mutiny Leia? So here for it. Leia telling Poe to get his head out of his ass? Give me more. 

And we’re all in agreement that she had a thing with Holdo, right? Right? ‘Cuz. Yes. 

(I also really loved Holdo, and I wish we could have seen more of her. Laura Dern is always a delight.)

Finn!:

Finn still trying to run away--but for a totally selfless reason this time. Finn waking up and thinking of literally nothing but Rey for the longest time. Finn, who has only just figured out what friendship and family and love are, and is holding on for dear life. 

In related news: how much do I love that every major character who runs across Finn—Poe, Rey, Rose--immediately wants to protect him with everything they have. This kid who was stolen from his family and brainwashed into Stormtrooper life is so loved by everyone he meets. My heart.

Finn and Phasma! Lowkey showdown of the movie. Him being so goddamn proud of being Rebel Scum after all the running of TFA is just so perfect.

Rose!:

Rose fits in so beautifully with the new kids. She's so clever, and has such a big heart. Her not even hesitating to hand over the last piece of her sister if it meant saving everyone. I mean. Really. Rose, you are a glorious delight. 

Not to mention the tongue-tied good cheer followed immediately by tazing the hero you were just so excited to meet. Talk about mood.

Domhnall Gleeson:

Not Hux; I don't particularly care for Hux in all his one-dimensional glory, although I do love how not-having-it he was about Kylo Ren announcing himself the new leader of the First Order. That moment where he's 100% ready to shoot him? Glorious. But other than that, I just love the way Domhnall carries the character. He manages to be so different than I expect.  

Honorable mention to that classic banter with Poe over the speaker system. Simple comedy is perfection sometimes.

Misc thoughts:

An unpopular opinion, I'm sure: I like that Snoke was taken out. I like that Kylo Ren rose to hold the mantle of Worst Dude in the Galaxy. I like that we got a character who, like Vader, was a boy to whom Bad Things Happened--and who decided to respond in the worst possible way.  

To me, everything about this movie was rooted in choice, in the power of choosing your path. Rey chooses to look into the dark, but still lean light. Finn and Poe choose to risk everything for the chance to save the Resistance. Rose chooses to give up her last tie to her sister for a cause she believes in. And Kylo? Kylo chooses to forsake Ben Solo. Kylo chooses the path of murder. The path of absolute darkness. Kylo looks redemption full in the face and raises his middle finger at it. He chooses not to be Anakin Skywalker--who overthrew his master to save his son--but to be his own man. Which is not to say he is a good man. He actively chooses not to be a good man. It makes him a very human villain. There is no universe in which a unilaterally evil character is more interesting than one with layers.

I like that this movie recognizes that moral grayscale is where the world exists. The Jedi failed because they pretended they were above human darkness. Rey represents genuine balance. I appreciate this about her. I appreciate that they let her do exactly what Luke did in Empire: go into the cave. Face your darkness. But, unlike Luke, Rey hasn't learned to fear her darkness. She simply uses it like a tool, and sets it back on the shelf until it's needed  again. She does not shy from a fight, but she does not recklessly murder, either. She is the middle ground.

Another possibly unpopular opinion: I like the idea that Rey comes from no special legacy. Now, it's very true that Kylo may have been lying to her about this, trying to coax her to his side; his playbook is full of abusive tactics, and this is a classic one. Personally, I like the idea that the Force was so desperate for finally achieving balance after all those ridiculous Skywalkers failed in the journey, and just went, "Fuck it. I'm making my own." Rey: Daughter of the Fed-Up Force.

That said, if he was telling the truth, and she did come from people who truly are not part  of the bigger story, people who really do not care about her...doesn't that make Rey being a strong, self-sufficient, incredibly big-hearted human so much more impressive? Rey did not come from parents who loved her, like Ben Solo did. She did not grow up with a Jedi Master uncle believing in her. She did not come from a long line of power and legacy. Rey was self-taught in every way. Rey was alone. Rey made dolls and scrounged helmets and learned to be a whole person all by herself. She's an excellent example of how you do not need a bloodline or a legacy to be an interesting, powerful person.

Chewie with the Porgs. Okay, listen. Listen. I know they're everywhere right now. I knoweveryone burned out on Porgs. But look: Chewbacca in the aftermath of his lifelong best friend dying, adopting these little bird creatures like a widower adopting a therapy animal to offset his grief? I am not made of stone, people.

[zephfair]

DVD ficlet meme fill Leo/Riario

For @idriseleven There is no way I can apologize for taking so long to fill the meme prompt you gave me back in October. I am ashamed.

And on top of that, I changed up the prompt--I AM A HORRIBLE FRIEND AND I AM VERY SORRY! Please punish me however you see fit! <3

@idriseleven​ asked for: Oh please oh please do one of your crack/fluff fics of DVD as the high school popular kid and nerd. Anybody you want. I'm interested in which of those nerds you imagine was the popular kid!

*The answer is: THEY'RE ALL NERDS

Originally, I envisioned Riario as the religious geek with Zita, Leo as the art geek, Zo as the kid who smokes and hustles, Nico as the under-underclassman who follows Leo around, Vanessa as the theater geek, Lorenzo and Giuliano as the athletic jocks, Lucrezia the cheerleader, Clarice the valedictorian.

But then I got a crazy idea for a Footloose parody and my TiVo actually recorded it the other week and let's just say I took it as a sign from the universe that a DVD/Footloose fusion should exist. I’m sorry; blame the TiVo.

If you’ve never seen that movie, it is still fun! And full of fun 1980s pop songs!

Leo slammed down the tray on the cafeteria table and nudged close to Zo’s chair. “So when are we leaving?”

“Leaving?” Zo said through a mouthful of unidentifiable chicken product.

“I told you, we’re going dancing tonight in—”

“Keep your voice down,” Zo hissed and cuffed the back of Leo’s head. “Do you want to get us both in trouble?”

“This place is bullshit. This entire school is bullshit. This insufferable county is bullshit. All of it—”

“Is bullshit,” Zo agreed. “But it doesn’t change the fact that we can get suspended and punished if you keep talking about partaking in illegal activities.”

“I still cannot believe that dancing and music is outlawed in this ridiculous fucking county.”

“Well, as long as our ‘leader,’” Zo made the air quotes, “is that prick Sixtus, and he runs the church and the town council and owns the sheriff’s department and county judges, well, we’re all fucked.”

Leo scrubbed at his face with impatient hands. “I’ll never forgive my father for making us move to this shithole full of closed-minded assholes.”

Zo mock-toasted him with a can of soda. “Cheers, mate.”

“Not you, Zo, you’re one of the few in this place who can see the real world and who wants to escape. And believe me, Zo, as soon as we graduate, we are out of here so fast, we’ll leave scorch marks.” Zo laughed bitterly but Leo went on, “If there were only something we could do to make it more tolerable for now. If there was some way to stick it to that sick fuck Sixtus.”

Then Leo’s gaze fell on his answer. He asked Zo slowly, “Can you introduce me to Girolamo Riario?”

Zo almost choked on the soda. “Oh no. No. No, no, no. First of all, I cannot introduce you because Riario fucking hates me. You fill his car with cow shit one time, and he threatens to kill you. And holds a grudge. And second, I would not introduce you even if he didn’t have a restraining order against me because you meeting him would be like,” Zo’s arms flailed wildly, “throwing a cigarette into gasoline. Boom!”

“Actually,” Leo said distractedly, still watching the young man across the room, “there is a very good chance that the cigarette would not, in fact, ignite the gasoline because it’s the fumes that typically—”

“Don’t get all technical with me,” Zo snapped. “You know exactly what I’m trying to say. Mixing you and Riario is just asking for certain doom. You’d lose your temper, he’d threaten you, and next thing you know, you’re in jail and he’s still Sixtus’ favorite little nephew, lording it over us all.”

“Yes, but if, if he doesn’t, well, then, maybe he’s the one who could change it all.”

Zo groaned and let his head fall onto the table. “We just have to make it through two more months. Two months! Can’t you wait that long?!”

“No,” Leo said briskly. “Now, help me come up with a plan to run into Riario.”

********

Zo found, to his horror, that Leo meant that quite literally and backed his decrepit VW Beetle directly into the passenger side of Riario’s sleek black Mustang.

Leo jumped out, hands spread apologetically, and went into a prepared speech about how he hadn’t seen the car and he’d happily pay for the damages. Riario stood there, trademark sunglasses on, clearly disbelieving every word.

“Aren’t you the one who transferred in halfway through our senior year?” he said finally, stopping Leo’s fulsome apologies.

“Yeah, I’m Leo.”

“I doubt you even have enough money to cover the cost of repairs,” Riario said bluntly. “Just forget it.”

Zo instinctively ducked, even from the safety of the passenger’s seat of Leo’s Bug. He saw Leo grit his teeth and try to be charming. For once.

“No, no this was totally my fault, and the very least I can do is to take care of it. And I’d love to do something extra, for you. How about I take you to dinner tonight?”

Riario bit off a little smile but only inclined his head. “There is no need. And no, I have plans.”

“Some other time, then?” Leo called after him, but Riario got back into his car and took off with a rev of the engine.

“What the fuck are you trying to do?” Zo asked when Leo got back into the Bug.

“I’m going to turn him to our side. And then maybe he can influence his uncle to change some of the rules around here.”

“This is only going to go one way—badly,” Zo told him, but Leo grinned as they took off, the Bug’s loose back bumper casting sparks as it dragged along the road.

*******

Leo began a campaign to “just happen” to be everywhere Riario might be at the same time. He bumped into him between classes. He couldn’t manhandle a lunch seat at the “popular table,” as Zo called it, but he did bribe an underclassmen to let him squeeze into a seat behind Riario, where he could still occasionally drop things and initiate conversation.

Zo watched Leo pursue Riario after school, but the Mustang left them in the dust on winding country roads when the Beetle couldn’t keep up. And Leo claimed that his stakeouts of the house showed Riario often didn’t come home until late, sometimes right at the town’s curfew.

Leo even cleaned up and attended church like the rest of the county who at least turned out to present themselves to Sixtus. Zo gave up trying to elbow him awake about five minutes into the sermon and enjoyed a nap himself.

But Riario stood firm against Leo’s advances. Zo was only surprised that he hadn’t taken legal action to stop Leo.

******

It all changed the evening Leo was sitting outside the drive-in diner and Riario pulled up. Normally, he was surrounded by a collection of various teens important to the local community—the Medici brothers who were venerated as jocks and whose family was in local government; Clarice who was dating a Medici but better known as the class valedictorian; Alfonso who was a dumb jock but an even bigger asshole bully than the Medicis; and Lucrezia, a relative of Riario’s who had a certain reputation. Leo had first thought about using her to get close to Riario, and she had shown some interest in him, but he recognized the haunted look in her eyes. She had been used and used every wile at her disposal to make it so far, and Leo was positive that she would be joining him and Zo in the mass exodus out of town as soon as she was able. He didn’t want to add to her nightmares.

So when Riario ordered food to-go, all alone, Leo followed him without a second thought. There was no way that Riario didn’t notice the VW’s lights, but Leo tried to hang back enough so it wasn’t completely noticeable. He missed him once, when Riario took a turn that Leo didn’t see until he was past, but he backed up and followed, heart beating quickly, wondering if Riario was leading him into a trap.

He pulled up to an abandoned rail car, gravel crunching under the tires, and parked next to Riario’s empty Mustang. Leo was wary of walking into the rail car, wondering if he were being set-up for something, but he finally did and found Riario sitting on the floor alone.

“You’ve found me,” Riario said.

“You haven’t made it easy,” Leo said, remaining standing.

Riario didn’t seem to care about the posturing. “I thought I would make it easier and get this confrontation over with. What do you want from me?”

“What makes you think I want anything?” Leo retorted automatically.

Riario sighed. “Because every single person who approaches me wants something. Whether it’s a favor from my uncle, a good word put in, or just the prestige of claiming to have me as a friend, everyone wants something.”

“That’s incredibly cynical of you,” Leo said, finally sitting down next to him. “But also remarkably perceptive.”

Riario smiled his mirthless little smile. “So what is it that you want from me?”

“I wanted a way to get at your uncle and somehow make him relax some of the ridiculous rules that surround this town,” Leo admitted to the quirk of Riario’s lips again. “I wanted freedom of speech and the freedom to listen to whatever music we want, and I even wanted to advocate for a prom. With dancing.”

Riario bent his head back and laughed.

“But now,” Leo went on and leaned closer, “there is something I want much more than that.”

“And what, exactly, would that be?” Riario’s quiet voice was a whisper across Leo’s lips.

“I just want you,” Leo said, closing the distance and kissing him.

*****

Leo didn’t know what to expect: maybe Riario’s friends bursting into the rail car and beating the shit out of him, maybe Riario pulling away then beating the shit out of him, maybe Zo slapping him awake in the middle of another interminable church service.

But he never would have expected Riario to open his mouth to him, to reach up and pull him closer, to card his fingers through Leo’s short hair and wrap a strong arm around his back. Leo melted into him, and when Riario tugged him to crawl over him, Leo went willingly.

******

“So,” Leo said sometime later while he smoked one of his forbidden cigarettes, “it looks like we have way bigger issues than getting your uncle to agree to a prom dance. I’m sure that premarital sex—especially between two males—will upset him even more.”

Riario paused in buttoning his shirt. “Actually, haven’t you heard the old school joke?” When Leo shook his head, Riario said, “Do you know why premarital sex is banned in the school? Because it might lead to dancing.”

“Oh that’s bad,” Leo said, but he chuckled anyway.

“Why do you want to hold a traditional prom? You don’t seem like the type who would even want to attend one.”

Leo shrugged. “Normally, no. But here, in this hellhole, it seemed like the best way to make your uncle rage out. While some of the students might actually enjoy it. Imagine what a romantic time: their first night listening to rock’n’roll and slow dancing in the gym. What’s not to love?”

“You have a strange definition of romance.”

“It’s a rite of passage for high school students. And since you deprived children have never had the privilege, I feel it is very important for me to spearhead this effort and make sure that we have the best, most stereotypical prom of any high school ever. And afterward,” Leo waggled his eyebrows at Riario, “there is the traditional deflowering.”

Riario rolled his eyes then leaned up to bite Leo’s bottom lip. “I believe we already took care of that.”

“Yes, well, I’m sure there’s more … gardening that can be done,” Leo said lamely as Riario kissed him firmly.

“And you want me to help you do this all behind the backs of my uncle, the school and the other leaders in town?”

“Yeah.”

Riario pulled away for a moment and looked into Leo’s eyes. “Fine. We’ll try. But only if you repay me in various sinful, immoral and totally inappropriate ways,” he said, running his hand up the inseam of Leo’s jeans.

“I can totally do that,” and Leo tackled him.

*******

After many devious schemes and near-misses and nail-biting tension, the outcasts like Zo and Leo banded together with the Medicis and other popular students to provide a prom like the world had never seen.

And Leo and Riario were voted prom kings and got to slow-dance in the spotlight in their matching rented tuxes with purple cummerbunds. Leo still had some of the pollen in his hair from where Riario had beaten him about the head with the orchid corsage Leo had tried to slip onto his wrist. Riario made it up to him by kissing him and groping his ass right in front of the entire senior class, and the town council assured each other that Sixtus was only spending the night in the hospital as a precaution because what were the chances he’d had a heart attack at exactly that moment.

And all the kids who wanted to leave town did and lived mostly happily ever after playing any music and dancing all they wanted.