#litg suresh x mc

[luckyqueenreign]

The Story of Us - is a four-part series that will delve into MC (Gemma) and Suresh's relationship pre-villa.

If you missed Part One, last week you can read it here.

PART TWO: The Night It All Ended

"How dare you? and how could you? Will you only feel bad when they find out?"

Tag List: @squishy-noodles @hi-im-karla @kunepie @brasister @kvngdomheartz @katsie @whati390 @smexilexi420 @viperidae94 @misterytull @theesocialintrovert @kiwi-tai @ordoesshemouthfuckyouforever @kikithegr8 @fujihime-litg

Super special shout out to @0shewrites0 and @future-mrs-suresh who both read this story 87 times and sent me notes and made it so much better. Love you both 🥰💖

NC-17

Suresh was fuming. His knuckles turned white as he gripped the steering wheel, angrily driving away from Gemma’s apartment. Suresh knew Gemma had been taking her parents’ separation hard but he had tried everything he could to make her feel better. 

Over the past two weeks, she ignored his advice, flinched at his touch as if she were some wounded animal and he could feel her slowly pulling away from him. But tonight had been the last straw, this was the fourth time this week that she had canceled plans without warning. 

I feel so fucking stupid. Four times. FOUR TIMES. 

At least the other three times she texted him before to let him know she wasn’t up for it. 

It wasn’t fair. Tonight was going to be special. He had planned everything out, he bought her a new dress that he knew she would love, booked an impossible reservation at the restaurant they had been trying to get into for months and he planned on asking her to move in with him tonight. Everything was going to be perfect. But then it wasn’t. 

FOUR FUCKING TIMES. How are we supposed to move in together when she keeps pulling away from me like this? 

Heat coursed through his already tense body as he noticed his phone light up with Gemma’s gorgeous smile, calling him for the third time since he’d left her apartment. He didn’t want to see her face, hear her voice tonight. He ignored her many attempts, turning his phone on airplane mode. There would be no talking tonight, only drinking. Lots and lots of drinking. 

Suresh walked into The Social, a swanky cocktail bar that he frequented often with his colleagues after work. He stormed up to the bar, not looking at anyone, distractedly and very loudly moving the empty chairs at one side of the bar. 

FOUR TIMES. 

“Rough night, Mr. Fraser?” Gabi said with a flirty giggle. 

He looked up at the waitress who was eyeing him flirtatiously, pressing her tattooed breasts together while she leaned over the bar. 

“Gabi, I don’t want to talk about my night,” he said looking at her pointedly. 

“I think I have a way of making it better,” she cooed, turning around, grabbing a glass and pouring Irish whiskey into it. “Here,” she said, biting her lip and grazing her hand on his as she handed him the glass. 

For weeks he’d enjoyed a bit of innocent flirty banter with Gabi, but tonight was different. He craved the attention she was giving him, he desperately needed the flirty looks and repartee after being discarded by Gemma for weeks. They played a game of cat and mouse with each other as she gave him shot after shot. 

“Ok handsome last one,” she rolled her eyes playfully, handing him a shot glass overflowing with amber liquid. 

“W-wha you mean? You cuttin’ me off?” he said, slurring his words. 

“No babe, we’re closing,” she smirked, while placing his bill in front of him. 

“BOO!” He dropped his wallet, keys and phone on the bar, fishing out his credit card from his wallet and handing it to Gabi. 

“Suresh you’re not planning on driving home are you?” 

“A course! I’m fiiinnneee.”

“Suresh no, you’d immediately crash into the first light post. There’s a couch in the back office, I’ll call the owner Tommy and let him know you’re sleeping it off. Come on.” Gabi walked over to Suresh and grabbed his things off the bar top and grabbed his hand while he stumbled next to her as she led him to the back office. 

They walked into the dimly lit office and she pointed to the old black leather couch that had seen better days. 

“Home sweet home,” she said, eyeing the fish bowl centerpiece brimming with condoms on the black IKEA coffee table in front of the couch. 

He looked around the room, following her eyeline and looked back at her. She looked up at him with a delicious smirk on her overly glossed lips and a hungry gaze in her eyes. Gemma hadn’t looked at him like that in weeks, all he wanted was to feel wanted, to feel desired by his girlfriend. Looking at her now in his drunken state, her face somehow morphed into Gemma’s right before his eyes. 

Gemma? 

“You want me to stay? You seem like you could use some company tonight.” She moved closer to him, stroking his arm. 

Before he realized what was happening he was kissing Gabi furiously. His large fingers twisted in her short red hair, bringing her closer to him. Gabi’s hands roamed his body unbuttoning his shirt, revealing his tight abs as she made her way to his belt buckle. 

“Holy shit,” she gasped, palming his dick through his underwear. She began to rub his outline up and down before dropping to her knees and releasing his dick, taking him in her mouth. 

He groaned as he fisted his hand in her hair and thrust into her mouth, making her gag. Any gentleness he usually reserved for Gemma was gone. Gabi didn’t seem to mind and continued to move up and down his shaft, circling his tip with her tongue. Without breaking contact he dug his hand in the bowl next to them, spilling condoms all over the floor, haphazardly ripping one open with his teeth. He grabbed her hair again this time pulling her off of him. 

“I’m going to fuck you,” he growled, rolling the condom on. 

She wasted no time taking off her top, hiking her skirt up removing her lacy red thong. He grabbed her roughly, spinning her around and pushing her forward against the desk. Suresh came up behind her gripping her hips roughly as he positioned himself between her legs, he thrust into her without warning. His thick, long dick filled Gabi completely, causing her to scream out in sheer pleasure. Suresh thrust into her hard and fast, his hands moving up her body to roughly grab her breasts. Gabi continued to scream at the top of her lungs. 

He kept thrusting into her harder and faster, gripping into her hips so hard he knew there would be bruises in place of his fingerprints tomorrow. 

“I’m coming…I’m COMING!!” she screamed, as her walls tightened around him. 

He felt his body growing in anticipation and he came with her. The room was silent outside of their heavy breathing. Suresh pulled himself off of her, removing the condom and crashed down on the couch.

“Oh my god Suresh, that was incredible,” she sighed blissfully, as she cleaned herself off and adjusted her skirt. 

He nodded at her but said nothing. 

She looked at him seductively, as she strutted over to the couch, with just her lacy bra and skirt. She laid next to him and took out her phone and started to take some pictures of the two of them. 

“Add your number to my phone,” she held out her hand, handing him her iPhone and he saved his contact information. 

“I’ll send you these later so you don’t forget this night,” she said. 

Suresh nodded and soon fell into a drunken, fitful sleep. 

As he stirred awake, his brain felt entirely too large for his skull. His head throbbed, his mouth felt dry and disgusting and he desperately needed water, but he couldn’t move because Gabi was still cuddled close to him. 

Shit shit shit. Suresh what the fuck did you do? 

He didn’t want to wake her and have to face the consequences of his actions. So he got up slowly and moved methodically to his clothes that were thrown in a pile on the ground and started to get dressed. 

Where the fuck is my phone? My keys? Shit Gemma is never going to forgive me for this.

He saw his phone, keys, wallet and belt piled together in a corner and he ran to them.

“Where’s the fire,” Gabi giggled. 

“I have to go. I can’t be here. I’m- I’m sorry. Thank you for letting me crash.” Suresh ran like a bat out of hell from the office, leaving Gabi alone. 

I cheated on Gemma. I cheated on the literal love of my life. I ruined everything because of one fight. 

He turned his phone back on from airplane mode and he saw all of the missed text messages from Gemma. 

G: Babe I’m sorry you’re right…come back please 

G: i love u resh i didnt want to go out but i still wanted to see you tonight i ordered from all your favorite places 

G: Babe please don’t be like this. I’m sorry i have been pushing you away but i promise you that im done. I dont want to lose you

G: I’m going to make it up to you

FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. Make it up to ME?! After what I’ve just fucking done. 

The realization of what he did hit him like a ton of bricks. 

I have to tell her. I can’t keep this from her. But if I tell her she’ll leave me. But if I don’t tell her and she finds out, she’ll definitely leave me.

Suresh ran through the options in his mind. Gemma was fragile right now, her parents’ separation had taken a toll on her. Telling her that he cheated would only further hurt and break her. He didn’t want to be the person that caused her more heartache. She didn’t deserve that. Not for a mistake he made. But hiding this from Gemma would mean holding onto the biggest secret he’d ever had in his life. He knew the guilt would eat at him. But he deserved that. He deserved to feel the pain and guilt of hurting Gemma, something he wished he had never done. 

If I tell her she’ll be devastated. I can’t hurt her like this. I’d rather suffer than have Gemma hurting for one day. 

He rushed into the shower when he got home, scrubbing his skin raw wanting to get any remnants of last night off of him. As the water poured down around him, Suresh couldn’t hold back the heavy sobs that escaped him. The guilt of what he had done eating away at him inside. 

She’s never going to forgive me for this. 

After changing into a t-shirt and lounge pants, Suresh grabbed his phone finally ready to call Gemma. As he waited for the first dial tone, he heard someone entering his apartment, he looked up and there she was. With red rimmed eyes like she’d been crying all night or for the greater part of it. She ran over to him and wrapped her arms around him. 

“I’m so sorry babe,” she said, burying her face in his chest. “You don’t deserve how awful I’ve been to you the last few weeks.” She looked up at him. “Have you been crying too?” She asked looking deep into his own red rimmed eyes.

FUCK. Why did she have to apologize to me? I don’t deserve any apologies right now. 

“A little. I don’t want to lose you Gem.” 

In that moment her lips pressed into his, the kiss was soft but charged with a longing that Suresh had always loved. Suresh pulled back from the kiss, his forehead touching hers and he looked deep in Gemma’s eyes. 

“I don’t want to lose you G…” he hesitated as if he was going to say something else, his expression unreadable. 

I’m not going to lose you Gem, I can’t. It’s never going to happen again. I promise.

Gemma smiled at him and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself closer as she crashed her lips onto his again for a scorching kiss. 

“You don’t have to worry about that. I’m not going anywhere,” she said softly.

[perfectlysunny02]

Word Count: 1,181

Warning: Character Death, Funerals, Grief, Cursing, Referenced Cheating

Read it here or on AO3

if i can’t be close to you, i’ll settle for the ghost of you, i miss you more than life.

Suresh was numb.

She was just going swimming with her friends. She was just going swimming.

This was all his fault. He was supposed to be there with her, but he choose work over her again. And now…

And now he was surrounded by her in the form of her things, feeling nothing.

Her shoes were still thrown by the door like she never left. He had asked her not to do that several times, it never stuck, and now he doesn’t have the heart to move them.

Her toothbrush still by his, her hair brush thrown hazardous into a drawer, her perfume still lingering in the air, even though she hadn’t been to the apartment in two weeks,

and she was never coming back.

He should’ve been there with her, but he had just made Partner, and she, she had understood, reassured him even.

She would have a good time with her friends, and she would see him in two weeks.

And he would make it up to her.

Their relationship since Love Island was better and stronger than it had ever been, and he was all in with her, the love of his life, no one would ever compare or measure up with her, his Harlow.

Life was cruel, when she was going to propose, he cheated, and when he had plans to propose…

Suresh stumbled into the shower, which somehow still smelled like her strawberry shampoo.

He turned the water to as hot as he could bear it, Harlow loved hot showers. She used to joke that unless the water felt like hell, she couldn’t enjoy it, which made Suresh complain every-time they were in the shower together.

But now, now he welcomed the burn, scrubbing hard at his skin almost as he was determined to scrub it off.

It was his fault after all. Before him, Harlow was content with her books, and quiet corners, and he brought adrenaline and adventures into her life, and she brought slow sunday afternoons and calm moments into his.

“We were cliff diving” one of her friends said. “They said it was safe. Harlow jumped first”

They said she hit her head on the way down, no one was none the wiser.

An hour later, Suresh received the call.

It was just supposed to be two weeks.

Suresh somehow managed to drag himself out of the shower, his skin stinging, and put on his suit. His suit, the one he only used and saving for special occasions, like making Partner, and their wedding day, and after today, he would burn it. He never wanted to see it again. He quickly walked into the living room to face the floor length mirror.

He needed help to tie his tie, Harlow always did it for him. He cursed loudly as he messed up again, his hands shaking.

He had to do this right, he had to do this perfectly for his girl. It was the least he could do.

He lightly flinched as someone let themselves into their apartment. He hadn’t seen anyone since they received the news, he didn’t want too. They were his and Harlow’s friends, and now they were just his friends, and he wasn’t ready to be reminded of that.

“Resh?”

It was Dana and Eddie. Alfie, Finn, and Kat were probably already there.

“I can’t get it right,” Suresh mumbled, undoing his tie, yet again, tears pressing. “I need to do it right, for her.”

Dana placed her hand on his shoulder, turning him to face her before taking his tie.

“I’ll do it love,” She muttered. She had been crying recently, and one look at Eddie said the same. Suresh wasn’t used to seeing such a serious expressions on their faces.

Dana tied his tie, and stepped back, tears streaming down her face, Eddie stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her.

“You ready to go?” Eddie asked hoarsely,

Suresh nodded numbly. He didn’t have much of a choice did he? He was Harlow’s only family, her parents dying when she was young.

The ride to the funeral seemed so long and yet so fast at the same time.

But Suresh hadn’t had a good sense of time since the phone call shattered his whole world.

It was only supposed to be two weeks

And now…

Now he had to spend the rest of his life without her.

When he got out of the car, Kat reached him first, followed closely by Finn and Alfie, both with bloodshot, red eyes.

“Oh Suresh,” She muttered, taking one look at him and wrapped her arms around him. “We’ll miss Harlow, she was one of a kind.”

Finn clapped his hand on his shoulder, echoing her statement.

Suresh pulled away, suddenly angry.

None of them deserved Harlow, not after what they did to her in the villa, not after the way they treated her. But Harlow forgave them, so he tried to do the same.

He knew death changed people, he knew it, but he was still so shocked to see his girl laying there, so cold and gray. She looked like Harlow but didn’t at the same time.

She was wearing her favorite dress, at least that was the same, she would’ve liked the fact Suresh picked that one for her to be buried in. She would’ve made a joke like

I look hot even in death.

Looking at her, made his heart twist in pitiful ways, so he kissed her forehand, and whispered goodbye.

“Goodbye my sweet girl. I love you, and I miss you more than life.”

He didn’t blink as they closed the casket lid on her, determine to keep her in his eyesight until the last moment, for as long as possible, because he was never gonna see her again.

Standing in front of the grave, putting her favorite flower, sunflowers, and the wedding ring on her casket, Suresh took a deep breath and a step back, even though everything was screaming at him to not leave her there.

They lowered the casket and he vaguely registered he was on his knees, and through the dull ringing in his ears, he heard a sound almost like a dying animal.

It’s me. I’m making that sound.

Suresh felt like he couldn’t catch his breath, and he could barely see from the tears.

How unfair was this? It was just their love, what was so wrong with their love that they couldn’t ever be together, that something bad happened each time?

It was just supposed to be two weeks.

He would never find anyone like her ever again, he would never be okay again.

His hand gripped the grass, almost ripping it up in his grief, his anguish. He didn’t want to move from this spot again. He didn’t want to leave her there, all alone.

But Harlow would want him to keep living for her, to do enough adventures for the both of them.

So with the help of Finn, he struggled to his feet and started walking towards his future.

One without Harlow in it.

[k3elai-the-li]

彡MINI DRABBLE: TROPES

suresh and mc: quiet judgmental x judgmental and will say what you were thinking

a singular brow raise and a face that says it all would be your trademark facial expressions. as a lawyer he knows if he has something to say he just has to say it, no mumbling, no nothing just straight up. so when you whisper a comment in his ear he’ll just say it out loud like let’s say someone talking during a movie on your night out, he’ll turn around and ask them to keep it down boldly and with no hint of regret.

he doesn’t strike me as one to gossip but if you are he’ll add his two cents to the conversation here and there, ending each comment with “but it’s none of my business” when he says something a little too controversial but true.

[kiwi-tai]

Some thoughts on S5 MC proposing to Suresh

In one of my last post I got thinking about wether or not MC told anyone they were thinking of proposing. Because realistically you tell people that right? But if this was a super impulsive decision after a fight did they even have the time? Below are all my thoughts about this, it’s kind of a lot.

I think the decision to propose was something MC did impulsively all on their own. I don’t think they were even sure of how they were going to propose to Suresh they just knew they wanted to. So they went out and bought a ring for it. No other plan. Their relationship was impulsive and this was no different.

Then they found out Suresh cheated and they couldn’t even bring themselves to admitting that this was something they were going to do. And I really do wonder what happened to the ring. I can see MC throwing the ring across the room, trashing it, then picking it out of the bin and hiding it away somewhere.

And like just imagine all of MC friends and familys reaction to not only the breakup but the reason! And no one knew MC was going to propose!

Since MC has no one in the villa I like to think she has a very strong support group at home, great friends and family (who are yelling at the tv as the show goes on for sure). But I think they all also liked Suresh when they were dating coz c’mon mans is a lawyer he’s gonna be charming and know what to say to get people to like him. Plus they liked how they made MC feel, they obviously could tell the couple were both over the moon about each other.

So they try and be supportive and try to make MC feel better about the breakup. I can see MC having some ride or die friends being like well it’s for the best because you deserve better and all that. But this isn’t just the heartbreak of finding out your boyfriend cheated on you. This is finding out someone you loved and we’re going to go out of your way to propose to—going out of the normal social bounds of what is dictated as normal to make that decision and propose to him because you felt that strongly about him that you even bought a ring! Just to find out they cheated. Like omg.

And MC probably just goes with this. Tells no one about that ring that sits inside their bedside table, then clutters in the back of their closet with forgotten shoes. That they couldn’t find it in themselves to throw out because they paid too much money and the jewelry place would not give a full refund. So they’ll nod and say yeah, good riddance, it’s obviously his loss, but in the back of their mind is that ring! That thought as impulsive as it may have been of a future with Suresh. Of a wedding, of a home together, of a family.

But time passes and the ring and the proposal becomes this we’ll kept secret between MC and their heart. They don’t even think much of it a few years later so when they are completing interviews for the show and the producers bring up secrets and embarrassing stories oh do they have a secret you will not believe. They went out to buy an engagement ring the same day their ex cheated on them, isn’t that just ridiculous.

Obviously little did they know Suresh was applying too talking up their ex they heard also submitted an application and how they’d love a second chance at that relationship. And the little evil masterminds that were the producers this season were just thriving off all the potential drama they can brew putting both of them on the show.

[fabyzay-blog]

The one where two ex-lovers meet again in a reality TV show. 

Hi! When I was first reading LITG S5 I wrote a little something to help me understand the plot better because I love details and we were bearly getting any. So a wrote what I was thinking about how Suresh and my MC (Rays) met.

It was always meant to be just for me but I was browsing on my computer the other day and decided to share it here. (English is not my first lenguage so I apologize for any errors)

Summer 2022

Rays entered the Love Island Villa hoping to finally move on from Suresh. This was her new beginning, her chance to open herself up to love again. But what she didn’t expect was for him to be there too. 

Rays thought she had left him behind, that her wounds were finally healed, and that she was ready to move on to someone new. But then she looked into his emerald, green eyes again and all the feelings that were locked away in the deepest parts of her heart a year and so ago came back like a bucket of cold water. 

He looked just like she remembered, his hair perfectly slick back, clothes that fit perfectly (purple swim trunks, her favorite color), and that confident cocky grin that always adorned his face. 

He looked perfect, just like the first time she met him almost three years ago. 

August 2019 

Rays was good at her job. She was just an intern, but she worked her ass off to be the one to get promoted to writer before the end of the year. 

So, when her boss asked one of the interns to take care of everything the attorneys the law firm had sent to take care of the merging the company was going through at the time, she did not hesitate to volunteer herself to the task. This did not fall within her usual responsibilities at the magazine she worked at, but she was going to be the best assistant those pretentious lawyers have ever had. 

However, she did not expect the job to be this hard, and it was all because of him. Suresh De Silva. 

The team was composed of two lawyers. Andrea who was in her forties, and barely needed her for anything. Suresh on the other hand was younger, closer to Rays age, smoking hot, and was always calling her over to the conference room the company had given them to work in. 

He needed coffee, and documents she had forwarded to him thousands of times before, among many other things she could have given him the previous day or sent over in an email. She did not complain even once, she wanted that promotion, and the fact that he was so good-looking made her forget he made her go to his office multiple times a day. With time the dynamics started to change between them, he started to be the one to bring her a coffee and go to her cubicle every once in a while to get what he needed. 

There was some tension between them from the beginning, but they never acted on it, after all, they both had to keep it professional. 

One day Suresh came without Andrea to the office, so he asked Rays to work with him in the conference room instead of her cubicle so that she could keep him company and she agreed. They barely got any work done that day, they got to know one another, gave each other side glances, and flirted at every chance they could. 

By the end of August Andrea and Suresh had finished their work at the magazine, and after weeks of flirting with each other their flirty banter in the office was over. She never asked for his personal number and neither did he, so she did not see him again, until three weeks later. 

It was almost the end of September when Rays and a few of her friends decided to try a new club on the posh side of town in hopes of finding a rich guy who would pay for their drinks instead of the guys that frequent the club they always went to. After a few hours, she had already got a few free drinks and turned down a couple of guys trying to get her to go home with them that night, all of which she rejected. 

She had spotted Suresh half an hour ago while she was dancing with a redhead, he was a few meters away from her dancing with a brunette. 

He also noticed her half an hour ago, neither of them approached the other, they were playing a game. The teasing game and the one to stop teasing the other first would lose.  

She grabbed the redhead by the neck and started grinding on him, biting his earlobe, and kissing his neck, all while looking at Suresh straight in the eyes. He started whispering into the brunette's ear and then they walked away to a corner of the club, he started kissing the girl's neck, all while looking at Rays straight in the eyes. So naturally Rays started making out with the guy she was with, her body facing towards Suresh, he could see the way they were kissing and his wild hands on her ass. 

He wished that those were his lips, his hands. He parted away from the brunette to go to the bar, technically losing the teasing game but confident that he would be winning something else tonight.

When Rays stopped kissing the redhead she no longer saw Suresh. She cursed to herself thinking that he had taken the game to another level with the brunette and her plan had backfired on her. But after doing a quick scan of the club she spotted him, alone at the bar, staring at her with a cocky grin. She excused herself to go get a drink and made her way to Suresh. 

“Having fun out there” he said to her when she finally arrived at the bar. 

“I am” she answered “You?”

“I am, but not as much as we could have together,” he said confidently while sipping his drink. She gave him a flirty smile while getting closer to him, so close that he could smell the coconut shampoo of her hair and the sweet perfume on her skin. 

“What makes you think I could have more fun with you tonight?” She whispered in his ear, making him shiver. 

“I have a couple of ideas” He whispered back to her, she bit her lip and stroked his arm. 

“Do you want to get out of here?” She asked him, and as quickly as they could they were walking out of the club together towards his car. 

That night in September started them into this dangerous game of being friends with benefits. With time the nights together started to become days and mornings waking up in each other's arms. That translated into getting coffee before work together and fancy dinner dates. 

By the beginning of October, the lines of their relationship started to get blurry, she had a key to his place, and he had a drawer in hers. 

By the middle of October, they realized they were kind of more that fuck buddies and decided to give it a go at a relationship. 

And even though she was his first proper girlfriend Suresh was a great boyfriend to Rays. He was spontaneous, adventurous, loving, and caring. He showed her a word she didn't know. Growing up with a single mother, Rays had barely gotten out of Edinburgh, but she had a bucket list of places she wanted to visit, and Suresh made it his mission to show them to her, to make sure they visit all those places together. 

She was everything he didn't know he needed, his sunshine, he wanted her to be happy and always feel loved and protected by him because he did, he loved her with everything in him. He loved her, his family loved her, even the cat who hated everyone loved her. 

She was it for him. 

He was everything she ever dreamed, everything she wanted. She loved him, her family loved him because they saw how happy he made her all the time. 

He was it for her. 

Summer 2022

Rays remembers everything from the beginning of their relationship. She remembered how he made her feel, all the love she felt for him, and how loved he made her feel all the time. 

But that was a long time ago. 

Now looking at him she could only feel hate and hurt.

She remembered all the tears, the therapy sessions, the sleepless nights, and how broken she felt when she found out he cheated on her. How her world fell apart, and how stupid she felt for buying that ring the same day he decided to throw their relationship away. 

However, looking at him again after all this time and under the hate and the hurt she was feeling, she knew that she never stopped loving him. And at that moment Rays realized that a part of her would always love Suresh.  

This was going to be one heck of a summer.

[ellegreenwxy]

ii. bombshells

[zoeywades-spouse]

Is this not exactly what happened?

[pus-things]

I love this theory, I wouldn't be surprised honestly 😭

[peonyslumber]

Everybody wants to love you

S5|in-villa|Chapter 1|Suresh/Mc| 4,761 words

Author’s note: Story title idea from the song ‘Everybody wants to love you’ by the artist Japanese Breakfast. Chapter title idea from the song ‘More’ by the artist The Greeting Committee.

I decided to rewrite season 5 with my own fanfic. Check out: @kvngdomheartz and @luckyqueenreign. They’ve got good Suresh/Mc fics. Chapter 1 will be loosely based on volume I, including, both Episode 1 and 2. I do use some information from s5 like dialogue and some challenges, but it’ll be written completely by me otherwise. Enjoy!

Chapter 1 - More

I took a deep breath before my heels clicked hard against the cobblestone. My hand was still on the car door frame before closing it. I looked up at the entrance to the villa.

This was where I was going to be staying. To find love, friendships, and of course, the 50k prize in the end. Hopefully. Fingers crossed.

My thoughts were interrupted once an energetic girl came sweepingly in sight.

She waved to me, “Hello! I’m Dana.” She flashed a smile before linking her arm with mine to head into the villa.

My head turned to face her, “Hey, I should probably introduce myself. I’m Myrna.” Returning a smile back, “Is it only you here? Or where is everyone else?”

Dana whirled around, “This other girl Kat is getting the champagne bottle ready for us. She can’t find a cork opener, and she said it was vital.” She studied me before saying anything, “I need your advice on something.”

I bit the inside of my cheek, “I’m not sure if I’m well equipped in fashion.”

She grinned, “Me neither. I would ask Kat, but I know she isn’t the most unbiased person.”

I would rather know more about this Kat than help her with her wardrobe but saying that would be rude.

“She sounds like a piece of work.” I pursued my lip, “But I doubt she’s that bad. Maybe she just needs to warm up to us. I have some mates back at home who acted cold until we got closer.”

She twirled her hair, “I suppose you’re right. This is where we’ll sleep.”

I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was standing in the villa’s bedroom. It looks even more vibrant than from watching it on television.

“I can’t believe we’re going to be sharing a bed with blokes we barely know.”

My palms begin to get clammy, “Oh, yeah! How could I have forgotten that!” I forced a smile.

Her eyes twinkled, “You’re nervous. Relax!” She squeezes my shoulders, “You can always tell them to go sleep on the daybeds. Your choice.”

We entered the dressing room. She started to dig into an orange bag, and clothes started flying everywhere until she reached the piece she wanted.

“Is it bad?” She raised her eyebrow. “I’ve been thinking about changing my style. I bought a new wardrobe for this.” She placed her head in her hand, “Who knows if it’ll be worth it.”

My feet stammered back.

People spent money on buying new clothes to be on this show? Now that I’m thinking about it… I probably should’ve invested more into it too.

Leaning against the wall, I peered over at her. The full bathing suit pressed against her chest. The bathing suit had a blue and yellow flower embroidered on it.

“You want my honest opinion?” I asked her, raising my eyebrow.

She nodded her head.

I sighed, “Your fashion sense seems to be stuck in the 2000s, babes.

Her hand massaged her temple, “That was what I was afraid of. I thought that it would be better to switch it up a bit to remind myself nothing is permanent.”

She bit her lip. Putting back her swimsuit before turning back to me, “You’re lucky it’s summer because you’re sweating so much that it’s becoming humid in here.”

I narrowed my eyes, “Jeez! Thanks, Dana.”

Before I could leave the room, and escape from who seemed like the only person here. A head popped into the room.

I jumped back, cupping my body from being caught off guard, “Girl, I thought you were a human Shih Tzu.” Shaking my head.

A shriek came from her mouth, and she stared at the ground, her mouth agape.

“Close your mouth, Kat. Before flies can lay their bodies in your gigantic mouth. It’ll be like a palace for them.” Dana playfully bumped her shoulder into mine.

Kat properly regained her composure, her heels clicked against the floor with each step she took entering the room, she poked Dana. “Not funny!” Lifting her finger, “I’ll have you all know that my hair is liked by many.”

Dana looked over at me before returning her gaze to Kat, “Yeah, who? Bartholomew?”

She raised her eyebrows, “Wait!” Followed by gasping, “How did you know about him? And his name is Bartholomew A. Bittlebun, JR.” She rolled her eyes.

I folded my arms, “Isn’t that from that one girl who starred in that handsome actor Rafi’s movie?” Tapping my chin, waiting for Kat’s response.

Kat furrowed her brows, “Hmm… yes! She only got like fifteen seconds in screen time...”

While Kat talked I worked on fixing up my mascara and lipstick. I sprayed some of my hairspray in my hair before turning back to Kat and Dana.

She reached for Dana and my wrists, “But that’s not why I came here. We need to not waste the bubbles they have!”

Interrupted immediately by a ping has us standing in the bedroom waiting.

“Girls! I got a text.” She yelled then quickly began to read it out for us.

Hope you girls are settling in nicely because we have a surprise for one of you. A burnt-out match that came to be reignited. #HereComeTheBoys #FirstCoupling

Our eyes landed on each other.

“What could that mean?” I asked them while playing with my hair.

Kat shrugged, “Why don’t we go see for ourselves?” She signaled us to follow her.

We were walking too slow, “Can you babes hurry up?” She linked our hands together.

We could see the view from the living room, but before we were out on the lawn, she released my hand.

“You made my hands all moist.” Kat hissed, glaring at me.

“And we all know there’s only one time when that’s acceptable.” Dana chuckled.

“Oh, you’ll find out soon when I hump one of these guys like a large hunk of log.” Biting her lip, smirking.

“I could see you being a tree hugger.” I clicked my tongue, nodding my head.

“Shouldn’t we establish a few things first before going out there?” Dana said, swallowing a lump in her throat.

Kat shook her head, “The only thing to remember is to stay out of my way. I don’t care much about cats, but I’m willing to claw you lot if you steal my man.”

Dana snarled, “They’re not yours to claim, Kat.”

Kat shrugged her shoulders, “Let’s see about that.” She gathered herself, turning back at us, winking before walking out first.

She strutted her stuff, running her hands through the loose sides of her hair.

She stopped in front of a preppy blonde hair boy.

Her hands swayed their way to her hips, “Hey, blondie, do you like what you see? Could I possibly be a bit of you?” She pouted her lips.

He stuttered, rubbing his nape, and left blushing.

She rolled her eyes, “Never mind! I like men who go after what they want, and it’s clear you’re not my kind of guy.”

He objected, “Not at all! I mean, you’re drop-dead gorgeous, and I’d care to take you out on a picnic date.”

Her head snapped in our direction, and her eyes enlarged.

“Well, that’s just factual. I’m like Madonna before Madonna. You look far too clean. I’m into bad boys, but my nan wants me to find someone like you. I can’t see why, like, what’s wrong with my taste? I have great taste...”

Dana looks over at me, “Hey! There’s no reason why we should be letting her have the spotlight. Let’s make an entrance.”

I straightened myself before walking out there with Dana.

“Oi! When can we get a piece of the action?” She yelled out.

A hunky man with trousers came jogging up to us. “My bad loves. The name is Alfie, I’m the kind of guy you call to get your wooden floors installed while pretty boy Eddie over here is the one you call to find out what’s the best product to make those hands smooth.” He raised Eddie’s hands for us to see.

We peered over and admired his soft hands.

“See what I’m talking about?” He laughed before being playfully knuckled in the shoulder.

“Hey! I’m not just a pretty face, you know.” Eddie rolled his eyes, “People just don’t look beyond my face, right? To see what’s inside my heart? I have so much more to provide, like love, attention…”

Kat interrupted him before he could finish, “Pipe it, Eddie! I need to know the cream asap.” She turned to us, “I’ve never wanted a pair of hands to brush against my cheek as much as I do now.”

Dana giggled before heading to the kitchen. While Kat and Eddie went over to the pool to talk about his secret to modeling hands.

I flashed Alfie a smile, “So what do you do? Are you a construction worker?” I tilted my head.

He chuckled, “No. No. I’m a carpenter. I work exclusively with wood. What about you?”

I let my hands drop to my side, “I’m an office worker. My job is to sell and present services and products.”

“Ah! A sales representative. I’ve met a few while working the job. They’ve always seemed to be pushy.” He looked down, then up, “Not that I’m insinuating that you’re pushy!”

I bit my lip, “It’s alright. I have to be persistent. One of the things I strictly put away when I’m not working.” I messed with my bracelet, “What brings someone as good-looking as you on Love Island?”

He turned his head, “I want to meet someone that I can see myself growing old with. I haven’t found much luck on the outside, so I’m hoping that’ll be different here.”

Dana came back with three bottles of water. She handed one to me and the other to Alfie.

“I can see where you’re coming from, Alfie. Inside here. I at least know people’s motives, there are only three. Love, money, and the game. Are you playing the game, Myrna?” She looked over at me, taking a sip of her water.

My gaze fell to the ground, “No. I do not appreciate or participate in games.”

Dana’s gaze landed on something behind me, and I could hear footsteps.

“Myrna?” A husky voice said behind me.

I knew who that voice belonged to. A guy I thought I’d never see up until today.

I gulped before gaining the courage to turn around. The corner of my mouth lifted, “Suresh? I can’t believe it’s you!”

“Long time coming, don’t you think?” He flashed his arrogant grin.

I knew him far too much to notice the way he brushed his fingers against his belt, hiding the fact that he was nervous. Nervous to see me. Nervous to know what I’ll say.

“Why are you here, Suresh?” My brows bumped together, “I know your strongest suit isn’t in relationships.” My hands landed on my hips.

“Ouch!” Eddie yelped, picking up something from the ground, “why was there a sharp thorn on the ground? Someone could’ve seriously hurt themselves.”

Kat placed her hand on his shoulder, “Hunny, now that’s just nature.”

Dana shushes them, “Myrna, you know him?” Pointing at Suresh.

A familiar face with a tribunal past, and I’m not just saying that because he’s a corporate lawyer. If only he did right in our relationship. We wouldn’t need to stand glaring at each other on love island.

“That’s a good question. After what he did, it made me realize I didn’t know him at all.”

Eddie came chiming in, “My ears were tingling, how juicy do you think it is?” He asked Kat.

“As juicy as a peach, hunny.” She beamed.

“I’m sorry, guys, but I need some time alone.” I walked pasted them and headed to the rooftop.

I dragged my foot towards the coach. My bum was comforted by the soft cushion as I held a pillow against my body.

I didn’t think my past would follow me. In fact, when I saw him, all I wanted to do was to wake up from this nightmare, a nightmare that seemed to have gone on way too long. Some hidden feelings resurfaced once I heard his voice. It brought me back memories of the good and bad. It was always him and I against the world, we did so much together that it was hard once it ended, and I had to learn how to be alone again.

I lowered my head.

I thought going to therapy would help, and it did for a short period. I couldn’t get over what he did. I couldn’t get over him, sometimes, I would wake up and look over at the space beside me, wishing he was there to comfort me. I tried to stop dreaming about him, but he would always pop up no matter how much I tried to get him off my mind… I just couldn’t shake him.

I lifted my head when I heard clacking.

The heels tapped against the stairs as Suresh slowly came into view.

He swung his body back and forth, “Hey, you.” He hesitated to take a seat next to me.

“Don’t ‘hey you’ me.” I hugged the pillow tighter, “What are you doing here, Suresh?”

He placed his hands on his thighs, “Well, I would be lying if I said I came on here looking for a fresh start.” He took a deep breath, “I came on here because I wanted to rewrite all the wrongs I did. I couldn’t sleep, or go on about my day without being haunted by what we had. I don’t know what came over me, but… I heard from a mate of mine that you were going to sign up to be on this show. I thought, ‘wow! This would be a great time to have an excuse to see you and redeem what we once shared.’ And I plan on doing that. As long as you’ll have me.”

My lips quivered, my nose crinkled, and my eyes began to well up.

“I’m Sorry, Myrna.” He wrapped his hands around me and indulged me in a hug, “Don’t cry, beautiful. Especially over me. I promise you…. I won’t make the same mistake twice. I’ll prove it to you every day as long as I live because… our story doesn’t deserve a goodbye.”

Our conversation is soon interrupted by Kat yelling for us to come back down.

He helps me off the couch and leads the way to the garden.

He bit his lip, “Just so you know, I’m here for you, and only you.” He placed his hand over my shoulder.

We rejoin the group.

Kat threw her hands up, “Finally! That felt like forever waiting for you two. It reminds me of this time in Basildon where I had to wait in a line with like six elders that took forever to move forward.”

Dana shook her head, “Anyways…” she continued, “I guess we should get ready to couple up.”

“Myrna, you should go first.”

Kat looked like she was about to object but Dana stopped her.

“Great! I’d like to couple up with this person because I feel like there’s some unfinished business. I want to couple up with Suresh.” I tried to hide the twinkle in my eyes.

Suresh flashed his cocky smile to the lads, “Thanks, beautiful. I was hoping you’d pick me anyway.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, “What a shame! A pretty girl like you shouldn’t be with an undeserving fish flopper.”

Alfie turned to him, “What’s with the comebacks mate?”

“I’m a lover, not a disser.”

Alfie shook his head, “But he’s right! Even if he couldn’t execute it well. Being pied off by a girl picking her ex is at a new time low for Alfie boy.”

Kat clicked her tongue, “How did your speech become somewhat worse than Eddie’s? But, my turn, because Alfie seems to be dead set on the second best in the villa… I’ll couple up with Eddie. My nan better be happy right now.”

Dana flashed a nervous smile, “Right! My turn. There are not many options I have to choose from. Unless you count the missing cork opener. I’ll couple up with Alfie because I’m hoping he’ll change my view on love.”

Everything came to a halt once Dana’s phone pinged.

“I got a text!”

Islanders be ready because it’s about to be Finn-tastic with a Finn-surprise! #BombshellComing

Kat beamed, “Ooh, a new boy!” She turned to Eddie, “Sorry, babe.”

Dana raised her chin, “Now who could walk in here?” She tapped her chin.

A long redhead muscular man that had dashing tattoos, and abs saluted us, “I’m Finn. I had to make sure I looked my best for the pretty ladies in front of me, and to try to fix a cork opener, which now that I’m here, would be pointless to have.”

Kat took the cork opener from his hand, “I have been looking all over for that damn thing…” she took a step back making sure to take in the sight of him, “Wow! You’re such a hunky spice tool. With tattoos.” She turned to us, “I hope nan doesn’t mind!” She whispered quietly.

“I’m glad we have you, geezer. Now we can finally play pirates of the Caribbean.” Alfie nodded to him.

Eddie’s face went pale, “More competition. How fun.” Laughing nervously.

Dana patted Eddie, “Don’t worry, guy. I’m sure you have nothing to worry about.”

Finn’s phone pinged, “I got a text!”

Finn, you have twenty four hours when you’ll be able to couple up with a girl of your pick. The boy in the couple you break up, will be left single and at risk. #SourHearts #TakeYourChoice

Finn glanced over at the boys, “Sorry, mates. No hard feelings.”

The boys simmer down, leaving the area in silence making it become awkward real fast.

Finn looks amazingly good, but somehow, I can’t help but gawk over at Suresh.

“Can I feel your tats?” Kat asked Finn.

He grins, “Sure thing! Don’t forget to compliment my biceps when you do.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, “So looks like I should be worried. Kat looks like she’d be a bit of Finn.”

Alfie observed Finn, “Hey, man! Who knows he could have immaculate taste and choose Dana.”

Dana flashed him a smile.

“Boys. Boys. Boys. All will be told when it comes.” He winks at them.

“So good at being mysterious. Not the best though, not like me. Myrna could never go for good, she’s always strived for the best.” He said, confidently smirking.

“I’ve got more up my sleeves than I can show, but, if we’re talking about based on first impression, all of y’all are a bit of me.” He boldly makes eye contact with me, “If Suresh is your ex Myrna then you can do better. But must I say, he’s got great taste. Must be because you’re delira to meet.”

I lifted my shoulder in a half shrug, “Grafting pretty hard already.”

Suresh pulled me closer to him, having his hand on my waist, “Pull all your cards. It takes more than a couple of words to get her.”

Finn chuckled, “Does it also take a couple of words to lose her too?”

In the corner of my eye, I could see Suresh’s knuckles turn white.

I knew that stung Suresh, especially if it reminded him of his wrongdoings.

My phone pings, “Y’all know the cue. I got a text!”

Islanders, be prepared because you’ll be taking part in a lovely couples quiz hosted by your personal pirate Finn #HowWellDoYouKnowThem #QuizThatCouple

Suresh whispered into my ear, “This should be easy. I could never forget anything about you.”

I nodded my head, “It’s hard to forget someone like me, babe.”

Kat clapped her hands together, “Well, I don’t know about you guys, but we should have a chat with our couples, even though I know Eddie and I don’t need a chat privately. I feel like I’ve known him my entire life.” She sent a prideful look my way.

We all agreed. Suresh and I went over to the daybeds.

We sat closely, nothing out of the ordinary between us.

Suresh broke the silence, “It feels good to finally be talking to you again. I know we’ll ace this quiz, we’ve always been good at doing things as a couple. We were like missing puzzle pieces for each other. Fit so well together. There was never a boring moment between us. You’ve always been the light of my day. I just hope you know that, and I won’t make the same mistake and lose you.”

I looked down at the ground, “I’ll admit hearing you talk has me right in my feelings. I know admitting all this… the past you… would have a hard time conveying your feelings, and confessing your mistakes. So I’m happy to see that improvement from you. I… I want us to work. I know it’s early in our couple in here, but I want to give it another shot.”

Suresh’s thigh brushes against mine, and he raises his head, his gaze lands on my lips.

“I want to kiss you so much right now, but I’m resisting for you.”

“But what if I don’t want you to resist? We’ve always been good at physicality, let’s see if we still have it?”

He brushed his finger against the bottom of my lip before planting a kiss on them.

The heavy exhales brush against my cheek. I should be stopping this, keeping the distance between us as possible. But being near old flames has never felt so good as it does when it's snuggled behind Suresh’s eyes. The lust pulls me in, fire, daring me to touch it as my heart skips a beat feeling pure excitement. Every last piece of control in my body breaks, and I move my lips to him, curious and lustful about the past flames, the flare. The hand that was once holding my face climbs its way down to my waist, and it doesn't take much effort until Suresh climbs on top of me. In a moment our bodies turn into hungry animals. Making it seem as if we are the only people on this earth.

We stop as we hear a cough. Dana stood there, flushed.

“Sorry. To interrupt. But… I got a text!” She avoided our gaze.

Suresh and I regained our composure.

Islanders, don’t worry the time has come to get to know your new couple. Please would you head over to the fire pit for the couples quiz. #CoupleGoals #TestingTheWaters

“Hooray!” Kat exclaims excitedly.

We all head to the fire pit sitting in our couples. Finn stands in front of us with a deck of questions.

“Are all y’all ready to rumble? I hope y’all are good with quizzes.”

Kat smirks, “Oh, Peach, let me tell you something. I went to this bar in Basildon and they’d have quizzes there, and who would’ve guessed it… I won each one, so bring it on!”

Dana chuckled, “I don’t know if I’m that confident. I’m not that good at quizzes, but I could never turn down one.”

“I’m confident that I’ll be good at this. When it comes to our relationship I was always the winner.” I playfully bumped my shoulder into Suresh’s.

“Hey! Hey! Now let’s just say… I let you win. If I didn’t you’d become a sore loser.” He sent an air kiss my way.

I turned back to Finn, crossing my arms.

Finn grins, “It’s about to get saucy in here mates. I hope you’re ready.” He looks over at Suresh and me, “I’m in a pretty chaotic mood, so Suresh and Myrna, you’re up first.”

Suresh relaxed his shoulders, “Bring it on! I know Myrna like the back of my hand.” He sent me a smoldering look.

“What is Myrna’s favorite date?” Finn lifted his brow, wondering if Suresh would guess it right.

“I’m going to say… our Monte Carlo trip. We had a blast! And Myrna was always a sucker for romance, and what’s more romantic than that? I’d go into specifics but that would be telling. The dinner on the boat was everything…” He grinned at me, placing his hand on my thigh.

“You’re correct! Although, I’d prefer something more laid back for a date. Like a picnic on a beach… maybe I’ll be able to take one of you girls on a date… don’t want to go into details, you’ll just have to see.”

Eddie shuffles in his seat, “Got to remind us, huh? Don’t play with all these girls’ hearts if you actually just want one in particular.”

Finn brushes Eddie’s comment off, “What is Myrna’s biggest turn off?”

Suresh confidently looks over at me, “Definitely a man who doesn’t know what they want. Myrna wants to feel secure.”

“Then why is she trying to be with you again?” Finn crosses his arms, looking sternly at Suresh.

“Clearly because I’m the better option. Y’all aren’t even competition to me at this point.”

Finn cackled, “Sure, mate. Next question. Has Myrna ever flirted to get free stuff?”

I flashed a fake smile.

“No, never. She didn’t flirt with anyone else, and if she did I would know about it.”

Finn smirked as he looked down at the card, “And that my friend… is where you’re wrong.”

Suresh did a once over before rubbing the back of his nape.

“Obviously that’s half true. I never needed to flirt to get free stuff. I remember being in this store, the Pumpkin store, and there happened to be a man there who offered to give me something free that cost at least $65. Who am I to turn that down?” I asked the group.

Kat nodded her head, “Yeah! You’re right! It’s not our fault we’re hot and people happen to reward us with gifts because we blessed them with our presence. Nothing bad about that. She technically didn’t flirt then.”

Wow! This was the first time Kat was being nice. That shocked even me, but deep down I knew she was going to come around eventually.

“Enough. Enough. Finn did it again. It’s time for Myrna to answer questions. What is Suresh’s biggest turn on?”

I squeezed Suresh’s hand, “Obviously, during foreplay, he would go nuts for a bit of role-playing.”

Finn checked the answer, disappointment plastered across his face, “That’s the right answer! Again… What is Suresh’s biggest regret?”

I bit my lip, “I- that’s tuff. I’ll say his biggest regret is not being able to go on that cruise with me and our mates. He was pretty bummed out about that.” I snickered remembering the moment a little too well.

Finn made an imitation of a buzzer sound, “Wrong! His biggest regret was cheating on you.”

Suresh looked down, and I slowly laid my head on his shoulder.

“I think you lads need to find another thing to be the bud of the joke, don’t forget I was the one cheated on, not you, or you or you.” I pointed to the boys, “So be a little considerate, okay?”

They all nodded their heads, and then the game continued.

There was a bit of laughter, and embarrassment as the rest of the islanders got quizzed. When it was over I chose to dip my toes in the pool, soaking in the good weather and feeling the cool breeze brush against my skin.

I felt someone sit next to me, and I lifted my sunglasses, “Oh, hey, Suresh, what’s going on with you? I saw you and the blokes working out…”

He sighed, resting his head on my lap, “Uh, yeah! Kat kept on flirting with Finn, and Eddie was upset but he wasn’t going to outright say that. I’m so glad we’re not having to deal with anything like that. Makes me wonder what they have in store for us next.”

I brushed my fingers through his hair, “Well, the least we know is that there’s going to be a recoupling, but I doubt he’ll pick me.”

I knew Finn sort of had been eyeing me. Oh, who am I kidding, he’s even let Suresh know, but I didn’t want Finn to interrupt Suresh and I’s reconnection. Plus, there were things I needed to know, and It was going better than I thought, and something I have been wanting for a while. Maybe I’ll have a chat with him later but for now I’m going to spoil myself by soaking in the moment, something I rarely ever do.

[isawthingsiimangined]

Writing a Suresh fic with a black MC. Sort of an AU with lots of inspo from the season 5 plot.

Would anyone be interested in reading it? 🥺

[luckyqueenreign]

⚠️ WIP ⚠️

BESTIES!!!

I'm sorry I've been MIA fic wise but I was trying to sort out where I was going next on Gemma x Suresh's journey. I did so many fluffy one-shots of them through the season that I didn't want to put them through the trauma we all had to go through...but then @sparxaf reminded me I'm a masochist and doing a post-Casa rewrite would be fun. So here we are!!

I'm going to be starting off from the Casa Amor recoupling and take Gemma and Suresh through the finals. There's going to be a few challenges we didn't see that I think could've carried the story along a little better. Don't worry they won't make you mad like the NSFW kiss, it'll be a movie. *HINT HINT* 😉😉😉

First Chapter: Flight Risk drops on Monday, Nov 21st.

If you want to be added to tag list, let me know in the comments 💖

[perfectlysunny02]

Chapter Four

Word Count: 3k

Read it here or on AO3

AN: Thank you again so much @0shewrites0 for all your help. I appreciate you so much Rae🫶🏼

Grief group, in Suresh’s honest opinion, was a complete fucking waste of time. Sitting around in a circle, saying your feelings didn’t seem to help anyone. It wasn’t like the feelings went away, but Suresh continued to sit through Grief Group. It was, after all, just simply better than sitting in his empty apartment, with only a bottle of liquor to keep him company.

If only this lady would shut up, though, she’d been going on and on about losing someone named Jason for the better half of the hour.

“And it’s like I feel him everywhere, I even feel him in this room.”

“Bullshit,” And as every head turned to look at him, and awkward silence filled the room, Suresh began to realize he didn’t say that quite in his head as he had hoped.

“Excuse me,” the poor woman said.

“No offense,” Suresh scoffed, waving his hand. “I’m sure you’re a nice woman or whatever, but I’m calling bullshit. You do not feel your husband, son, whoever the fuck Jason is in this room. And if you really, truly do, you need to be committed.”

The lady opened her mouth to speak again, but a snort from the left of Suresh cut her off.

“I’m sorry,” the guy said, covering it up with a cough. “I am so sorry.”

“Anyway,” The lead said, clearing her throat. “Lucas, since you seem like you’d like to add something to what Suresh just said, how about you go next?”

“Ah yes,” the guy-Lucas cleared his throat and continued matter-of-factly and almost bored. “Hi. I’m Lucas Koh, and I lost my mother a year ago.”

Lucas Koh. The name rings a couple of bells. And as Suresh studied him, he was semi-sure he had seen him before. Lucas caught his eye as he was staring and sent a half smirk his way. Now he was definitely sure he had, but where?

“And how are you coping with that Lucas?”

Lucas shrugged.

“Work I suppose. It was alcohol until a fan saw me passed out drunk on the street and my producer decided I should attend this group. It’s not like I’m sad, me and my mother were never very close,”

“A fan?” Suresh asked, his brow furrowing.

“Damn Suresh, I thought you of all people would recognize me,” Lucas said, stretching. “I was on Season 2 of Love Island. I was runner up with Blake.”

Season 2. That’s where he had seen him. Harlow had actually been routing for him and Dahila Jones, until Lucas had returned from Casa Amor with Blake Mitchell and Dahlia with Kassam Maleek. Suresh flinched, trying not to think about his own Casa Amor.

“And how is Blake doing these days?” The lead asked.

“I dunno,” Lucas let out a bitter laugh. “Apparently I work too much for her, she left me a month ago.”

“Not surprised,” Suresh said, before he could stop himself. “No offense or anything man, but Harlow never liked her. Said she was the type to leave when shit would get hard.”

“Well, she was right,” Lucas muttered. “How is Harlow by the way? You two won Season 4 right?”

“Ah, no. Season 5.” Suresh muttered, his heart twisting as he asked about Harlow. “And H-Harlow is actually the reason I’m here.”

“Oh shit, I am so sorry man, truly. From what I could tell from the telly, Harlow was pretty amazing.”

Suresh smiled a small smile, and nodded.

“Yeah, she was. She was pretty special.”

~~

Suresh was unsure of how it happened, but that day after grief group, Lucas Koh had become his best friend. You rarely saw one without the other.

“It was the Jason remark,” Lucas had told him when he asked. “You weren’t the only one wanting her to shut the fuck up. Besides we’re both former islanders, we’ve got to stick together. Especially since the season you were on had the worst people.”

“I’m ashamed,” Suresh had said, quietly. “I’m ashamed of my season of Love Island. They weren’t the only ones who treated Harlow so bad, I did too. And I look back and cringe at the person I was.”

“She forgave you, you know. She wouldn’t have picked you, if she hadn’t. If it makes you feel any better, not one other islander from your season has spoken about her death and the internet is not only dragging them for it, but for what they did in the villa. Again.”

Suresh let out a laugh.

“That does make me feel better, thank you.”

Suresh was proud, ever since Lucas walked into his life, he hadn’t had one single drink.

He was actually a semi-working human, until one day that he and Lucas didn’t have plans.

In the quiet, and loneliness of his apartment, the grief set in again. His thoughts overwhelming him, he broke out his bottle of gin and settled into the couch. It was going to be a long night. Or at least it was until the ring of his phone brought Suresh out of whatever stupor he was in.

“Hello,” He muttered, rubbing his forehead.

“Hey mate,” Lucas laughed. “Turns out I’m free tonight. Do you want to hang or something?”

“Uh, no,” Suresh mumbled, slightly slurring his words. “I’m a littleeee busy at the moment. S-sorry mate.”

There was a moment of silence, before Lucas began speaking again, more serious than Suresh had ever heard him.

“Suresh, are you drunk?”

“No,” Suresh laughed, bitterly. “At least not yet anyway.”

“Okay, well hold on, I’m on my way.”

Suresh went to tell him there was no need to come over but the end signal told him that he was far too late for that.

Lucas had to have run a red light or two by the way he arrived at Suresh’s quickly.

“Hey mate,” Suresh said leaning on the door as he opened it. “You didn’t have to come over. Although I’m glad to know how much you long to be around me.”

“Whatever Suresh,” Lucas muttered, pushing himself into the apartment. “Where the alcohol?”

Suresh, assuming that Lucas wanted a drink too, motioned towards his room.

“Have as much as you need mate, we’re all alcoholics here after all.” He laughed.

“That’s not funny, Suresh.” Lucas snapped as he walked into the room. Honestly his tone should’ve been enough to clue Suresh in on what’s going on, but it wasn’t until he heard the sink running that it clicked for him.

“What are you doing?” Suresh yelled, trying to push his way into the bathroom.

“Mate stay there, this is for your own good.”

“My own good? You don’t know shit about my own good.” The door finally gave way, only for Suresh to realize Lucas had already dumped it all out.

“No,” He whispered, close to tears, pushing at Lucas’s chest weakly. “No, what have you done? What have you done?!”

“What should’ve been done already,” Lucas stood there calmly taking the hits. “I’ve been here before Suresh, okay? I’ve been here before. She’s not at the bottom of these bottles, you’re not going to find her, okay? And I am so so sorry.”

Suresh practically collapses in Lucas’s arms, and Lucas gently lowers him to the ground, placing his head on his lap, lightly shushing him as he cries.

Suresh wasn’t sure how long he laid there, how long it took him to run out of tears, but even when it seemed to be over, he didn’t want to move. Lucas seemed in no hurry ti move either, letting Suresh take his time, and he gently rubbed his side.

“I can’t sleep without it,” Suresh mumbled breaking the silence.

“What?” Lucas asked, slightly blinking, confused.

“I can’t sleep without it, I can’t sleep sober. I-I keep waiting for her to come back. I can’t sleep until she’s safe inside our apartment. It’s too empty here without her.”

“Do you want me to stay with you a few days?” Lucas muttered. “Because I will, you don’t have to go through this alone.”

“Why-why do you care?” Suresh hiccuped. “You’ve only known me a short while. Marisol was here last month and knew I was drinking and didn’t stop it.”

Lucas’s jaw hardened and he took a deep breath.

“A real fucking friend would’ve taken it away.” He said, hints of anger in his voice. “And like I said, I’ve been here before. It’s nothing but a whole lot of pain. So if it’s because it’s simply too empty here, I will stay here. I meant it when you don’t have to stay alone.”

As Suresh glanced up at Lucas, he allowed himself to smile the tiniest of a smiles. Maybe there was a light at this dark tunnel.

[eurimoon]

I made an illustration of a scene from @banirareiko 's fic from @litgwritersroom. When I tell you I'm OBSESSED. Too obsessed that she converted me into a Suresh clown 💀💀

Read the fic here!

[starryxnightt]

Loving and Forgetting

Summary: In which Avery thinks it’s time for Suresh to let go.

Warnings: spoilers for episode 8, angst

Word count: 3.3k

Read it on ao3

Avery is in a deep sleep when she is suddenly awoken by the familiar chime of her phone. She hears a groan from a few beds over and blindly searches for it. Squinting slightly at the bright light in the otherwise dark room, she reads the text.

Avery, it’s time to get your graft on- you’ve been chosen to go on a date with a new islander, Grayson! #newbeginnings #beachbreakfast

Her eyes widen slightly when she processes the words. A new islander? And she was the first person in the villa to get to know him? Talk about perfect timing. There was nothing that Avery wanted more than to get away from the villa, and more specifically Suresh, to collect her thoughts. These last few days were so emotionally draining with Suresh’s constant presence around her and all the drama that he carried with him. Everyone had asked her how she felt about her situation, and that was the problem. She didn’t know. How could she when she wasn’t given the time to process any of it? A date is exactly what she needed.

As quickly and as quietly as she could, Avery slips out of her bed and makes her way into the dressing room. She changes in her black floral bikini, throwing on a pair of jean shorts over her bikini bottoms. Albeit a little shaky from her nerves, Avery does her light make up and takes her hair out of the braids she slept in. She had to admit, she looked good. Feeling confident in her appearance, she strides out of the villa and into a nearby car, all the other islanders still fast asleep.

On the way to the beach, Avery can’t help but wonder if this boy will be her saving grace. She was in need of a fresh face in the villa, one that wasn’t so invested in her relationship with Suresh. That was the last thing she wanted to think about. Not only that, but Avery wonders if the public voted for her to go on the date or if Grayson himself chose her. She didn’t know which she wanted to be true. If he hadn’t picked her, Avery would be well disappointed, but she had hoped that he would be good company anyway. However, if Grayson had chosen her for his date, she worried that perhaps that she wouldn’t be as into him as he would be with her. That maybe she wasn’t as over Suresh as she had pretended to be. And facing that feasible reality terrified her. She didn’t have time to think about Suresh and where they stood. Avery physically shakes out her anxiety as she arrives at her destination.

Sitting on a picnic blanket close to shore is one of the fittest men Avery has ever laid eyes on. He’s tall, tanned, and has got slightly messy curly brown hair with a scruffy yet well kept beard. He appeared to be like a proper boy next door, and Avery was surprised how close he was to her physical type. Her breath catches slightly in her throat as she takes him in. Based on his looks alone, Avery was definitely interested.

Grayson sees her approaching and stands politely to greet her. “Good morning! I’m Grayson, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” He wraps his muscular arms around her in a quick friendly hug. Avery hugs him back and detects a whiff of his woodsy cologne.

“Nice to meet you, Grayson. I’m Avery.” She gives a flirty look while holding eye contact. Avery notes his beautiful green eyes and bright smile. She was a sucker for a nice smile. 

“Shall we?” Gesturing towards the blanket, Grayson sits down and proceeds to hand Avery a mimosa.

To say the least, Avery’s head had turned quite rapidly into her date with Grayson. He’s kind, funny, charming, and understanding. She learns that he's 26, a year older than she is. He works in real estate at a family firm. He has an older brother and a younger sister and lives alone in a flat in London. He came to Love Island looking for someone to spend his life with or at the very least, to meet new people. On top of that, he was the one to choose her for the date. But most importantly, Grayson tells her bluntly that she doesn’t have to talk about Suresh if she doesn’t want to, and he’d never bring up the subject if that’s what she wanted. That sentiment alone nearly had her swooning on the spot. Avery felt so comfortable with him, like she had known him for her whole life. She finds herself smiling, blushing, and laughing, feeling the most at ease she has in over a year. To be honest, Avery didn’t think of Suresh once during her time with Grayson.

Much sooner than Avery and Grayson wanted, their date comes to an end, and the pair find themselves back at the villa.

Avery glances at the villa doors then up at Grayson. “You nervous?”

“A little bit, yeah. Obviously I’ve seen things on the telly so I know things here and there, but it’s going to be weird to actually meet everyone, you know?”

“Don’t worry. Of course they’re gonna like you. I mean how could they not?Come on.” Avery grabs Grayson’s hand and gives a comforting squeeze, turning her head to flash him a reassuring smile. Walking ahead of him, she tugs on his arm faintly, sliding her hand down to grasp his. “Maybe not as much as me, but it is what it is.”

Grayson chuckles lightly, eyebrows raised in interest. “Oh, so you like me?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Avery replies, playing coy. Shaking his head in amusement, Grayson follows Avery into the villa and then promptly into the kitchen where the others are. He keeps his hand firmly in hers the entire time.

“For the record, I like you.” Grayson discloses. Avery looks up at him and beams, her cheeks reddening.

“Avery! There you are! We were wondering where you disappeared to!” Eddie notices the unfamiliar boy next to her. His eyes widen slightly in shock but quickly hides it. “And who’s this you brought with you?” Everyone’s attention shifts to her.

“Hey everyone! This is Grayson.”

The islanders come over to greet Grayson while Avery takes a step back to observe, basking in the happiness she now feels. She knows she has a goofy grin on her face, but she can’t help it. Avery believes that things with Grayson could go somewhere special. For the first time in a while, Avery feels hopeful. She couldn’t blame herself for being excited.

While Kat and Eddie rush off to give Grayson a tour of the villa, the rest of the islanders stay back to talk. Grayson gives her a smile before Kat practically drags him away to the bedroom.

With a look of excitement on her face, Dana turns to Avery as the others chat amongst themselves. “So?”

“So what?”

“Tell us how your date went! Are you into him?” Dana blurts out. Avery is suddenly aware that the kitchen has gone silent as everyone waits for her answer. She can feel Suresh look at her intently. She doesn’t look in his direction.

“Well… To be honest, yeah he is a bit of me.” Suresh shifts uncomfortably in the corner of her eye. Dana squeals, appearing to be overjoyed at the news. “The date went really well. We sat on the beach and had some drinks and just got to know each other. He’s got great chat, and there’s definitely a spark there. So yeah I think I’d be interested in seeing if there’s something there beyond that.”

“How exciting! I hope it all works out for you, Avery. Know you need a good lad who treats you well.” Finn grins at her warmly, shooting her a friendly wink. Avery returns his playful glance but she can’t help but notice the look on Suresh’s face. It was one of defeat and regret. Jealousy and sadness. Longing and despair. Good. He deserved it, especially since he had said a few days prior that he would be happier if he had forgotten her.

There was no point in lying and saying that Avery wasn’t hurt by what Suresh had revealed that day because she was. It hurt more than she ever wanted to admit. It had replayed in her mind since, haunting her and never allowing for a quiet moment. Maybe I would be. There was such finality in his voice. Like he had come to the realization that she wasn’t worth all the trouble that he had swore up until that point in the villa that she was. That he had believed their connection and relationship was worth all that and more. Apparently not.

Avery didn’t understand how he could change his mind so quickly. One minute he was practically begging her for another chance, for her to see that he could be the man she deserved and the next he was saying that he wanted to forget her. His hot and cold routine was exhausting and confusing. She was exhausted. And to be frank, before the whole situation there was a small part of her that was willing to give him another shot. Blame it on pure stupidity or her being a hopeless romantic, but there was always something deep down inside of her that wanted to be with him. A side of her that believed that he was different and that their relationship could still be as perfect as it was before, not that she would ever tell him. But now? Now there wasn’t even the smallest sliver of her that still held the candle for him, and it was nobody’s fault but his own.

To make things worse, he hadn’t spoken to Avery since his admission. He didn’t pull her aside the next day to apologize like she thought he would. He didn’t talk to her when they had gotten a text saying that a recoupling was to happen the following day. He didn’t speak to her on the day of the recoupling to see where her head was at. He didn’t utter a word when she got first pick and chose to couple with Eddie, and Dana recoupled with him. He didn’t say anything to her in the three days that followed the recoupling.

And somehow, it’s now been five days since they had even acknowledged each other, let alone talked.

However, Avery didn’t miss his private smile after Dana had said his name at the recoupling. He seemed happy as he confidently strode over to her and gave her a peck on the lips that lasted a second too long, instead of on the cheek like she had done with Eddie. He sat down next to her and put his arm securely around Dana’s shoulder just like he used to do with Avery when they were dating. Avery also didn’t miss how well they seemed to get on, laughing loudly during their chats and giving each other not so subtle looks from across the room as the islanders hung out together. And most of all, she didn’t miss how he had spooned Dana while they slept peacefully in their bed one morning when she woke up earlier than everyone else. It was a curse to know Suresh so well in those moments because she knew that none of their actions were staged for her benefit. None of it was a ploy to get Avery to realize what she was missing. Suresh and Dana were genuinely getting along quite well, and it was hard for Avery to see it all unfold right in front of her. At first, she told herself that it was only because he was her ex and watching an ex move on would be weird for anyone. As the days went on though, she realized it was because he had dropped her in a matter of seconds and had seemed to forget about her in that time too, just as he had wanted. He replaced her like their relationship meant nothing to him. 

Maybe Avery meant nothing to him.

“Hey, Avery?” Suresh breaks Avery out of her thoughts, now standing next to her. “Can we talk for a second?”

She can’t help the animosity that spills out of her mouth. “There’s nothing I have to say to you.” Suresh barely suppresses the flash of pain in his eyes.

“Please?” His tone is desperate, and it throws Avery off guard. She’s never seen nor heard him like that before.

“Fine. You get five minutes, and that’s it.” He looks relieved he as nods wordlessly and leads her to the daybeds. Avery places herself on the edge of the bed with a respectable gap between them, one that was never there before, even when they first came into the villa. Suresh notices and stares at the mountain of space that separates them. It was clear he was hurt by her physically distancing herself from him, yet she didn’t know how she should feel about it. She would never hurt him intentionally, but that didn’t change that he had done that time and time again to her. “Well? Are you going to say something?” Avery snaps, aware that her pent up frustration was about to bubble over. She could practically see the wheels turning in his head as he tried to find the right words to say.

“Did you mean what you said?” Suresh asks quietly, staring at his hands clasped together in his lap. He was obviously nervous. It was so unlike the usual cool, confident, cocky Suresh she was almost too familiar with.

Cocking her head to the side, Avery looks at him with indisputable confusion written on her face. “What do you mean?”

“When you said that you want to get to know the new boy. Did you mean that?”

“So you haven’t spoken to me in nearly a week, and you think you have the right to ask me that? Are you joking?”

“Just answer the question, Avery.”

“Of course I did. Why would I lie about that?” Avery knew where this conversation was headed, and she wished that she stood her ground and refused to speak to him in the first place.

“I don’t know. To make me jealous? To get pay back for everything I’ve done to you?” He throws his hands up marginally in frustration and finally turns to look at her. His voice raises slightly with anger. Avery feels her own irritation surfacing as a result.

“I know it may be hard for you to believe, but not everything I do revolves around you, Suresh. I like Grayson a lot, and I want to explore where that could lead me. What I do is none of your business. Plus, what does it even matter? You’re coupled with Dana now anyway.”

“That isn’t going to go anywhere.” He states matter-of-factly.

She rolls her eyes and lets out a huff of annoyance. Like she could ever believe that. “Oh really? And why is that?”

Suresh catches Avery’s eyes and holds her gaze. She shifts uncomfortably at the intensity they carry.

“Because she isn’t you.” And just like that the spell is broken almost as quickly as it began.

“Wow.” Avery says sarcastically, almost laughing at the absurdity of his confession. “You’re unbelievable, you know that?”

Suresh repeats her previous question. “And why’s that?”

“Because! The last time you acknowledged me you admitted that you’d be happier if you forgot me.” Avery is struggling to keep her voice down, and knowing the other islanders, they’d do everything they could to listen in. That was the last thing she wanted.

“It was just something that happened in the moment. I didn’t really mean it.”

Avery scoffs. “It seems like a lot of things just happen in the moment with you.”

“Look, I know I’ve hurt you before and I keep doing it, but I want more than anything for us to be together again. You have to know that.” She wanted to pull her hair out. She was so irritated. Since they had gotten into the villa, all they had done was play this stupid game of back and forth, and Avery was sick of it. She wanted it all to be over- for good.

“You’re neglecting to realize that you’re coupled up with Dana, not me. Not to mention that you two are clearly cracking on.”

“I’ll admit that I do rate the girl. She’s beautiful, and she’s got good chat. I do like spending time with her, and I should like her a lot more than I do but I don’t. I can’t ignore the simple fact that there’s something missing, that something isn’t entirely right.” Suresh pauses for a moment as he scoots closer to Avery and lightly grasps her hand in his. For whatever reason, she doesn’t move it away. “She doesn’t make me feel the same way you do. When we were together, I felt like I was on the top of the world, like nothing could ever tear me down. You made me feel like I could do anything I wanted and more because I had you by my side. You made me the best version of myself, someone who was worthy of your love.”

Defeated, Avery replies, all the fight left in her gone. “Maybe you’re just not giving yourself the proper chance to get to know her.” She hopes that Suresh understands the implication behind her words. He does. He always does when it comes to her.

“Don’t.” He utters. ”Don’t say that.” His words are a command, but his tone is soft, almost pleading.

“It’s true. You’re holding back because of the smallest possibility that we’re going to get back together.”

“What, is that wrong?”

“Yeah, it is. You have a girl that is really interested in you, but you can’t give her your all because you think that one day I’ll wake up and magically want you back. You can’t keep torturing yourself like this.” Avery feels nothing but compassion and empathy for him. Although she may not love Suresh in the same way that she had before, she wanted him to be happy. And he couldn’t do that if he was hung up on her.

“I don’t want her. I want you. I would wait until the end of time for you. Only you.” He squeezes her hand in desperation, imploring Avery to accept that she was it for him, and it didn’t matter how many women were interested in him. All he wants is her. From the moment he opens his eyes every morning to the second he falls asleep every night, all Suresh wanted was to be with Avery.

“If you ever want to be happy again, Suresh, you need to let the possibility of having me again go. Let me go, move on.” Her words, despite her soft tone, are like a slap to the face. Is that how she truly felt? Did she really want him to give up on her, on their relationship? Suresh felt his heart clench at the chance of it being her sincere feelings. She couldn’t back down and abandon what they had, just like he couldn’t. Avery is his soulmate, and you don’t give up on your soulmate. 

“I’ll only ever be happy again if I have you, Avery. You know that.”

“Suresh, you said it yourself that you wanted to forget me. I’m just giving you a head start.” Avery gently slides her hand from his and climbs off the daybed before softening her voice slightly. She gives him a kind, sympathetic smile. “I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

With that Avery walks away, her head held high and all the weight from her shoulders removed. Just as she’s almost out of earshot, she hears Suresh speak again.

“I have, but I don’t think it’s me she’s looking for anymore.”

[oceanatydes]

everyone on this season is a fucking dumbass 😭😭😭😭😭

[ellegreenwxy]

iii. hashtag blast from the past