#lo and behold. goddamn part 4 made me weak to this shit

[helielune]

zipper man //sketch

[hellsbellschime]

i follow you cuz of GOT but i always see you talking about klaus mikaelson who is that?

Ohhh boy, little Klausy boo boo. Let me tell you a story about a fairy tale that turned into a nightmare. 

So once upon a time I was a wee young lass who loved The Vampire Diaries quite a bit. But then this fellow named Klaus Mikaelson was introduced at the end of season 2 and I was a smitten kitten. He was a vampire, he was a werewolf, he was a maniac, he was everything a girl could ever want from a psycho villain. As his character arc continued to blaze across the sky like a shooting star leaving a trail of blood and champagne in his wake, my obsession only grew. I knew that I couldn’t contain my love for Klaus within my own frail body, my thoughts and passion were so great that I needed to find a brethren to share it with. And after searching the highest mountains and deepest valleys, I finally found a fandom on tumblr where I could shriek and cry and act the fool like the rabid fangirl I was. 

Klaus was on the show from season 2 to season 4, and he was a goddamn masterpiece. He was so great that by the time his arc had concluded in season 4, it was because he was getting his own whole ass spinoff show, along with the rest of his siblings, who made up the Original vampires (that’s right, he wasn’t just a werewolf and vampire, he was one of the first vampires ever created). I felt that I had already ascended to fangirl heaven just by virtue of discovering Klaus in the first place, but now the knowledge that I was going to get an hour of my favorite character every single week basically shot me straight into hyperspace. I could not fathom what kind of Gandhi ass motherfucker I had been in a past life to deserve such a gift in this one. Oh, but wait, shocking twist!

Towards the end of season 4, Klaus randomly had sex with an irrelevant guest character who was going to be on the spinoff series. It was confusing, it was weird, but what could possibly go wrong. Well anon, a fucking lot. 

So he got his bone on with this random werewolf lass, and then the backdoor pilot came. And lo and behold, this literal dead man had gotten said werewolf lass pregnant. Which was weird. Even weirder than the sex part. It was extremely weird. I wish I could take you back in time to see tumblr liveblogs of this so you could understand just quite how weird it was. 

But was I disheartened like many of my other fandom compatriots?! NAY. Because despite this very abrupt fishtail into crazytown, the creator of my favorite character’s spinoff would not shut the fuck up about the fact that this spinoff was going to be like a vampire version of Game of Thrones. Which, EVEN BETTER. IT’S MY FAVORITE CHARACTER AND MY FAVORITE SHOW COMBINED INTO ONE. 

So the show began and I fully prepared myself to freebase fangirl heroin every single week, because instead of having to sit around during every TVD episode waiting for Klaus to show up, he’d be in nearly every goddamn scene. But... impending fatherhood had changed him. Changed him quite drastically. To be honest, my badass, maniacal, charming, downright fucking evil beauty of a beast sort of transformed into a weepy, weak willed simp the minute the pregnancy test turned blue. The pregnancy was really the focal point of the show, and Klaus was the person who sat there and cried over it every single episode. 

BUT DID I GIVE UP HOPE?! ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT. BECAUSE IT’S VAMPIRE GAME OF THRONES. IT’S KLAUS’ SHOW. IT’S THE DREAM OF DREAMS AND IT ONLY DIES IF YOU LET IT. 

So, because I’m a Game of Thrones super fan and a Klaus super fan I just know that this is all some insane ruse and everything is going to come crashing down sooner or later, and Klaus is going to come back and be bigger and badder than ever. So I spend a whole season watching the show, being the butt of the joke of my fandom because the show is fucking god awful and Klaus has completely and utterly transformed into the kind of character that you’d see on The Eric Andre Show if he was trying to do a parody of Twilight. 

And while I’m expecting this weird pregnancy plot to come to it’s conclusion soon enough, it does not. It actually lasts the entire season. Including the backdoor pilot, it lasts more than a year of real time. BUT DID I LOSE MY FAITH. NO. 

So I kept pressing on in a show that was a shitshow and in a fandom that devolved into a war zone over this nonsense, because I knew this was vampire Game of Thrones. Shit was about to get real any minute now. And do you want to know what happened dear anon? Shit did not get real. 

Klaus’ werewolf lass had his baby and he cried like a baby and he named that baby Hope, and in that moment my friend, something broke in me that could never be repaired. It was the moment that I realized that daddy did not just go out for cigarettes. Old Yeller did not go out and live out the rest of his days on a beautiful farm. That single word, hope, so ironically knocked the wind out of the last card holding up the fragile house of cards that was my psyche. Klaus Mikaelson was never, ever coming back, and I, the fool, the simp, the most ferocious devotee, was a mere fangirl phantom, a revenant devotee to a god that had been slaughtered ages ago and I was the lone clown left worshiping it. 

The destruction of Klaus was so great, so heartbreaking, so incomprehensible in it’s Eldritch horror beauty and terror, that even narrative collapses of GoT season 8 proportions were like the soft ripples after being hit by a tsunami. To look upon the flawlessness and hideousness of Klaus Mikaelson is to look into the void and see only your own face staring back at you. To love Klaus Mikaelson is to know that god exists, and know that he has not chosen you. That is who Klaus Mikaelson is, my dear anon.