#lol i forgot how hard it can be to write a story without any external engagement

[statusquoergo]

A loud hissing sounds from a ways down the road. Diane opens her eyes just as a bus drives by, one of those big black ones with the padded seats. Sometimes they have television screens that fold out from the ceiling, she remembers that, but everyone has to watch the same thing and the movie is never very good.

Some guy walks out of the general store across the street, and she runs forward as though she might be able to catch the door before it falls shut behind him. She doesn't, of course. She didn't really think she would.

Apart from the young woman behind the counter, there doesn't seem to be anyone around. The shelf by the door is full of baking ingredients, flour and sugar and colored sprinkles and things, and Diane wanders toward the produce section like she does it all the time. What would be something good to take? Celery, maybe, a bunch with a lot of stalks she could eat one at a time. Or maybe carrots would be better, a whole bag of them that would last a while. Yeah, carrots would be better.

Picking up the biggest bag, pressing it to her chest, she zips her windbreaker up to her chin, lowering her head and folding her arms in front of her so the bag doesn’t fall out past her waist. The carrots are a little heavy, and her jacket doesn't fit exactly right.

The floor tiles sure are dirty.

The woman at the register is watching her. She feels it, her eyes on the back of her head. It'll be fine, though. She'll keep her head down and walk out the door fast, and she'll never come back in here, and everything will be fine.

Little buds of broccoli are stuck to her fingers. She shakes her hand and wipes it on her jeans.

The woman at the register is watching her.

“You really suck at this.”

She closes her eyes tight.

Well. Can you really say you're surprised?

“Take Nutella next time,” the woman says, “if you want something you can resell. Or peanut butter, if you need something that's gonna hold you over for a while. And don’t look so cagey.”

She shouldn't be listening to this. This is probably a trap. This woman is trying to set her up. Trying to make her look stupid. Trying to trick her into making a fool of herself.

“You wanna stick a can of beans in your pocket and sneak out the door while I check inventory?”

Diane unzips her windbreaker and puts the carrots back on the shelf.

“Make sure you take one with a pop top.”

Don't you pity me. Don't you tell me I'm not good enough to do it on my own.

Crossing her arms, she ducks her head down and walks past the flour and sugar and colored sprinkles and things, and shoves her shoulder into the front door.

Better luck next time.

[luckydicekirby]

fic commentary meme: your favorite part of white collar podcast fic, OR the hallucination scene(s) from bathymetry, orrrrr any part of I Really Am Your Color but that seems less likely

SHOCKINGLY i’m sure, hallucinations from bathymetry wins : P I love a good hallucination/dream sequence! A fact about me I’m sure we’re all unaware of. (My favorite bit of the white collar fic is of course everything El says; I have nothing productive to say about I Really Am Your Color other than ‘damn, still can’t believe that lipstick scene’.)

So this whole Brigmore segment/the back half of chapter 4 was added to the outline really late, because initially what I had written down was like. “They solve the attempted murder plot somehow” and that turned out not to be helpful! So I was like okay there’s a witch, so they must be at Brigmore, whatever, and then that ended up tying in really well with being able to poke at the central problem of Billie being unable to move on from her past. And so the blunt force way of getting at this was to have her LITERALLY confront their past and then handwave it with magic! And I really wanted an excuse to write Delilah.

Also this is way more interesting than doing my job and thus got long, oops. From Chapter 4 of Bathymetry.

“You should run,” says a voice from behind her, muffled.

Billie turns around. There’s a woman there wearing Billie’s old Whaler uniform, mask included. She’s a lot more solid that Billie’s visions usually are. Once Billie focuses on her, she doesn’t disappear. “You should run,” she says again, in Billie’s voice. “Before it’s too late. Before you get tangled up in something else you don’t understand.” 

“I’m not going to abandon her.” She’s talking to a ghost, but she can’t quite stop herself. Billie steps forward. She wonders what she would feel, if she reached out.

lol I actually FORGOT that this bit starts with Billie talking to her past self. obviously, I love it when people talk to their past selves. Mineshaft 2.txt baybee

Anyway part of what I wanted to accomplish on a character level while we were here was Billie very pointedly choosing not to run away--to no longer be the version of herself that would. So, the unsubtle way of doing that is just...having that version of herself explicitly tell her to do it! Externalizing internal conflict for fun and profit.

In my outline this whole scene is written as: “B: maybe has a Think about running away but like. She Isn’t Gonna--lol does Past Fake Memory Billie try to tell her to. OR fake memory delilah. Anyway she literally tells her past to fuck off, and...runs into Thackeray menacing C and O? And hard cut” so if you’ve ever wondered how elegant my outlines are: they aren’t. 

“You think I’m stupid,” says her ghost. “You think I let Delilah lead me around by the nose. Maybe I am. Maybe I did. But do you seriously think you’re any better? Please. You’ve been following around the fucking Empress like a puppy. She’s just a reckless, spoiled kid, and you look at her like she’s going to save you from yourself. That’s who we are now?”

Emily-Delilah comparisons are a fun way to make Billie really upset! Sometimes you’re in love with a woman whose mom you helped kill and who is also the niece of your Terrible Ex, And That’s Fine. Also, there’s something very ouch about your past self saying, disdainfully, oh, you think I’m stupid, don’t you?

“Shut up.” Billie steps forward, gets in her own face. It’s not very satisfying.

The ghost snorts. “We always were a sucker for a pretty face. Admit it. You haven’t changed at all. This is who we’ll always be.”

I think we can only assume that Billie making bad choices because a girl is pretty is canon.

“Say that to my fucking face,” Billie says, and the ghost laughs, and laughs, and takes off the mask. Except when she does, she isn’t Billie any longer.

In some universe where I had restraint, I would have Billie have to deal with EITHER her past self or Delilah, but not both. However, restraint is for suckers.

“Little Billie Lurk, lost without her master,” says Delilah, and she looks more real than Billie’s ghost ever could. 

Writing Delilah dialogue is VERY fun. I really like the cadence of the first line here.

Delilah never looked like she belonged in the real world. She was like what Billie imagined the Void would be like, long before she ever set foot there. Otherworldly and regal and terrifying. “So convinced that you’ve changed. What would Daud say? Oh, that’s right. He doesn’t say anything anymore. You left him in the Void. You didn’t even bother to do the one thing he’d asked of you in fifteen years. 

And of course my other fav thing to do in this fic, bring Daud up so I can be mean about him! And have Billie deal with her guilt about him/decide not to be like him, I guess. But mostly to be mean. 

The both of you were always pathetic, trying so hard to wash away the blood on your hands. You haven’t figured out that it always ends in blood. You’ll never learn that lesson if you don’t let the Kaldwin girl go.”

“It doesn’t have to,” Billie says. “It’s a choice. It’s always a choice.”

This also leans into one of the themes of this fic aka “what I think doto was about”, that you can’t blame other people for your own choices, and that at some point you have to admit that murder isn’t gonna solve your problems. (or more poetically, breaking cycles of violence.)

Delilah steps forward, reaching out to cup Billie’s cheek. Emily touched her there earlier today, and Billie leaned into it, and now she’s somewhere in this house, and Billie has to find her—

Ah yes, the romantic face touch! Also, Billie snapping out of the hallucination a little bit by thinking/worrying about Emily here is important--the need to save Emily is the way she leads herself out of being figuratively and literally stuck in the past. Because that’s romantic, to me personally.

“I thought about asking you to join us,” Delilah says, thumb running across Billie’s cheek. “I would have if you hadn’t taken the first ship out, getting away from this place as fast as you could. Even after you betrayed me to Daud. There was always something about you. That fire in your eyes. Ambition and longing and the knowledge that you were owed more than the hand you’d been dealt. Maybe it’s the same thing Emily sees in you.”

“Now you’re really just trying to piss me off.” Billie barely even thought about it, but the twin-bladed knife is back in her hands. 

Delilah laughs. “You think you’re strong enough to kill me now? I don���t think so. You put on such a good show, Billie, but I know you’ve always been weak.”

Delilah explicitly laying out the idea that turning away from violence makes you weak, so that Billie can immediately refute it.

Her grip tightens on the knife.

She wants to make Delilah bleed. That’s what this knife was meant for. 

There’s some sort of throughline about the twin-bladed knife being a symbol of the aforementioned cycles of violence that is a little weak because I only decided to do it like, 2/3 of the way through the story, but that’s why Billie giving it to Emily ends up being a big deal in the next few chapters. Had I edited this story all at once instead of in chunks, I would’ve gone back and laid some groundwork for it earlier.

That’s what it wanted to do to the Outsider, but the Outsider didn’t deserve it. Delilah does. Delilah deserves everything Billie can give her. Delilah tried to kill Emily twice, and the first time Billie didn’t even know, didn’t even think to try to stop her. There’s still time for her to make up for that.

Billie really WANTS to fight her but...

Delilah’s form flickers, and for a moment, Billie can see the empty manor behind her. 

“Well?” Delilah demands.

Delilah’s gone. Emily made sure of it. And Emily didn’t kill her: she’s always been clever enough to find the ways to give people what they deserve without spilling their blood. 

(low chaos is hot, apparently!)

And she’s going to get a bullet between the eyes if Billie doesn’t find her soon.

“I don’t have time for this,” Billie says. She shrugs off Delilah’s ghost, and turns away.

...she deliberately chooses to focus on the present/Emily instead of the past. Romance! Character development! Yeah! Anyway, this is pretty much the point of the scene--Billie choosing not to, say, do what Daud might have done, and try to get revenge on someone who isn’t even there. I actually had a hard time writing the scenes later where she gets together with Emily, because these were the emotional beats I was planning to hit and then I did them early and had to find new ones.

“She’ll never forgive you,” Delilah says. The same crooning voice she always had, because she isn’t here anymore. She’s gone. Billie’s never going to see her again.

Billie vaults over a banister and doesn’t look back. 

Void, she hates this fucking house. The place echoes, and her eyes keep trying to lie to her, and she is so sick and tired of shit like this. She thought it would be over when she dealt with the Outsider, but it’s never really over, is it. There will always be bad people, but Billie isn’t at their mercy anymore. And she’ll die before she lets Emily be, either. 

And this is a deliberate echo of a doto line-- “you’ve always been at the mercy of bad people, haven’t you?”, which Billie says about the Outsider when she finds his body in the void. I love the doto thing of drawing parallels between Billie and the Outsider and so I do it a lot in this fic. Thackery and Flint being an Overseer and a witch is kind of an attempt to draw this parallel out further--they were at the mercy of bad people too.

[inhalareexhalare]

Dianne Is so Awesome but She Might Freak If She Saw Me Post About That/Whatever the Hell Is Happening to Me

I managed to speak with more confidence over the phone with my boss, Dr. Seth. And then I initiated a long conversation with Ms. Dianne that lasted for almost an hour until my boss arrived so we each had to return to our work hahaha

So many stories! I admire her capacity to be patient with people and her capability to keep conversations bright without sacrificing her own feelings. She is driven to be truthful to people, and not just the if-I-am-asked kind; she has the initiative to tell you things that she feels bothered about in you, but with genuine compassion that you don’t feel attacked at all.

She knows how to balance yourself with other people. She knows how to balance teamwork with self-improvement. Most of all, she never allows an external, material, temporary thing to be a basis of motivation. She believes in having a real sense of purpose.

She is the kind of girl who lives in the company of people. She thrives in it.

I admire how she can balance the energy of a conversation (I made sure to let her know this). She doesn't extinguish the negative parts, but she balances it out with her own positive energy. Allowing other people to remember to heal themselves in the process. Spreading a remembrance of hope.She does all this, and she does it without knowing. I can tell she enjoyed trying to really answer why and how she does it.

I don’t have to thrive in it, but I’d like to be able to at least develop it as a skill, so I can also bring people up.

She believes in positive reinforcement, in motivating people to get better by themselves, rather than punishment that might work short-term but in the end kills what matters most.

That is true. I should do my best too.

2019-01-15 10:08 Philippines Friday

To Karu:

i have a letter for you and it contains a bigger perspective to whatever the hell it is that is happening to me

i'm so sorry

After sleeping alone two nights in a row, (the first night with my blood vessels boiling, figuratively, from who knows why, after Karu announced he’ll be away to a beautiful place) I just heard from him (he called me just now) and I felt so...cold. Like, dead cold. I was bitter. Monotone. Indifferent.

I can very easily tell you about my loneliness, reader, and although I won't expound on it I can very easily give some trusted friends a primer about it, but Karu is different. Somehow I feel so restrained to do that, and it's something I'm doing to myself.

I feel so desperate to hide it. It reminds me of how I maintain an icy poker face when others used to bully me (and gave up soon enough because I was indifferent). Is Karu a bully to me? I don't think so. But it's there. The fear of revealing more than I am comfortable to.

So here’s what I found out, in letter form for Karu to read (o my lord i am so sorry you ended up with a person like me who has low understanding of her own emotions):

Why am I so bitter to you

when we speak?

It’s like I don’t want to show

the loneliness inside me

in front of you

I fully enjoy everything

else that is happening

but your voice reminds

me too much of something that I long for

and, in self-dialogue, the second part:

that makes sense.

bitter is a plant

that is taken cared of poorly

but you’re not a plant, are you?

you’re the number one care you have

so be okay with being lonely

be kind to yourself

water yourself as often as necessary

you don’t need to fear yourself 

anymore

Also me, to Karu:

(he needs help to prepare gig clothes for tomorrow, so i’m probably the one available to do just that. he also said he’d be there with me tonight, but even that possibility is something i’m avoiding right now. i’m too scared to hope when i’m on bitter/sulk mode.

 i usually enjoy doing stuff for him but i’m still transitioning from feeling bitter... it takes work. i won’t give up!)

is it oki if [lobo] gets some snack later? i know it's not good to indulge but i might get pissy and stuff doing laundry and getting pissed for no reason haha

From Karu:

Yassss! Although the only thing that needs manual washing is the white button down

To Karu:

unless i get too lazy to bring laundry bags to the laundry shop of course hahaha i honestly think that's more likely to happen XD

my sulky mode needs a lot of working on, and i won't give up, so that might change but this is my mood right now haha still trying to transition properly

From Karu:

It's okay. I can take the stuff to the shop. If I get home early, I should also be able to cook

[Karu] gonna take care of sulky [Lobo]

Will gib hugs toooooo

  To Karu:

:< thanks

From Karu:

It all gud. I just have to get home hahaha 

That’s exactly the hope I’m avoiding right now I’ll just let him read this entry later...

From Karu (cont’d):

Do we haz laundry funds?

[Karu] is gonna get paid tomorrow ehehe

We will also try to start surviving on 200 pur dei

To Karu:

yes

okiii

From Karu:

Awesome heeheehee

Pork steak, yes?

To Karu:

....*•-•* nod

To be honest, I only ever use this awkwardly-self-made-but-too-accurate emoji with Karu. My poker face has zero capability to do this face (or any other emotional face) but the feeling tends to only apply to Karu.

From Karu:

I'll go see if we can go that route today  If not, I'll just think of something else hahaha

Upper limit for food is 250 and lower limit is 150. So I guess we eat less now when we get carinderia food hahaha

Lez get you some art materials and get me some goddamn lessons and yaw yan

Would you like some paint to play with?

Oh fuck I gotta change my strings soon btw. Maybe April or June :)

To Karu:

let's find pout i guess. eating less will probably help me appreciate food more. anything in excess makes us feel sick.

Yaw Yan's good.

painting materials are crazy expensive though

From Karu:

Pout?

To Karu:

out

punintended

freudian slip

lof yu

From Karu:

We can save up for art stuff :)

To Karu:

morp

I notice that Karu isn’t using the “:))” today. Change of brain?

or maybe it’s just the mood.

I’m stopping here, it seems to be irrelevant now lol

2019-01-15 10:50 Philippines Friday

Feeling these things, I was about to do a last-minute ditch a.k.a. escape from my (previously initiated) informal lunch date with the big group of secretaries today, until Dianne reached out her hand to me.

She actually didn’t, but I swear, that was what it was like to me. All she did, really, was beckon. I don’t even think she did it consciously/purposefully. But that. That evaporated all the doubt that I had left of joining them for lunch. 

Her hand in my mind, reaching out for mine. And I took it.

It is good to have good friends. She knows a little about my social anxiety since I told her about it this morning to celebrate and explain my celebration, of my progressing confidence in front of Dr. Seth.

That was what led to us having a long conversation. Halfway, I was almost losing attention, but I willed it on. It was just my fear that was trying to pull me out.

And I made it okay. We made it okay. Her hand, my hand.

I can’t give up now.

This is also training so I can reach out to people who might have similar struggles as myself.

2019-01-15 13:49 Philippines Friday

Aaand he's not home.

Well, I expected as much. It still stings a little though.

It seems he forgot it's Friday again. I get out of work an hour earlier than usual every Friday.

Actually, I don't even think he's coming for dinner tonight. I'm tired.

Guess I'm getting my own food and doing the laundry, then play some mind fucking games later. That should prep me up for tomorrow's story writing.

2019-02-15 18:04 Philippines Friday

Then again, life is only filled with uncertainties.

If I can't even embrace this, I've no right to pursue something as weird as psychology.

(Though I'd only apply this mindset to myself. Tough love works with myself most of the time. If it's my own voice HAHA I'm such a prideful creature.)

Speaking of psychology, what if I happen to unconsciously use Karu at this point in time as a hiding place from myself? My bitter/sulk mode as well as my nighttime separation anxiety are both based on fear of being alone to myself.

Alone with my thoughts. My ultimate chaos. My infantile order. I can't escape order for too long and hide in my mess of chaos. Order is in order. It won't do to just have chaos. I have to systemically know myself.

I didn't know Karu before, but I already had these things a long time ago. I always knew it never was Karu's fault or mistake, but could this be something closer to the truth?

I truly love him, but sometimes I feel weir. Maybe in those "sometimes," I use the warmth of our togetherness as a form of escapism.

Remember the letter I wrote earlier today?

"You don't need to fear yourself anymore."

The last line. I was worried at first that it didn't fit in my poem, especially that my head and hand just sort of spat it out there unconsciously. I seriously considered whether to delete it,

but I couldn't.

A slip of the pen?

I feel like I am closer to my personal truth. If you feel or think though, reader, that something's amiss or inconsistent with my observations and analysis, by all means please share your insight.

For now, I'll keep note of this.

To begin with, when I first was infatuated with Karu, my intention was just all him. He interested me very much. He is my first love. (I'm really lucky to be with someone as willing and patient as him. He isn't patient at all for most things, but he is when it matters.) (I always had a hard time being in love with others. I was indifferent a lot before. I had a sexual crush on my adopted older brother at age 5, and then a mutual crush with a high school close friend that I turned down because I got bored when he confessed. I know, I'm fucked up. But those are tales for another day.) Annnyway. And then I transitioned into the kind of sober love, where it felt like a deep ocean where my infatuation before was just a puddle.

But it never changed the fact that my intention was to make him happy. To love him. To give him affection, attention, and care.

I mean, who enters a relationship thinking, "I want to be with you to become a better person."

NO ONE does! But we all should!

With the all-for-the-other mindset we have, we risk destroying ourselves and even the other in the process.

It's all very romantic and courageous and admirable to have so much passion in caring for another, but forgetting yourself is setting both of you up in a pretty ugly loop.

Point is, getting into any kind of relationship just so you could celebrate not being alone anymore... Sends quite an important message.

You're uncomfortable with being alone with yourself.

You are who you end up with until the end of your life. Might as well learn to love this self.

It's important to take care of your social life, but you need to be doing it for the right reasons.

But don't worry, and don't punish yourself. It wastes time. When you find yourself in misalignment, reconfigure, and start over.

It's never too late, as long as you have breath and you have mind.

Stay Alive, everyone! Never stop learning.

I have feelings. That are unpleasant. That I look for other things that might take it away. But they're never taken away. Only hidden.

It's only now I realize (again), I've been trying to banish something important in me. These unpleasant feelings were treated poorly by myself. I didn't give them enough time. I'm too impatient, too afraid.

But now I remember. To let things go, you've got to let them in first.

Change usually involves more of involvement rather than stepping back.

And besides, learning to be comfortable with who you really are? I'd think that's the true, real love.

2019-02-15 19:13 Philippines Friday

I got to open up a bit about how I am sad to Karu last night.

Also, it's been a while, so I knew he was bursting. I helped him release.

Of course, that made it easy to thaw my ice. But I'd like to be able to learn how to show him more of my loneliness with more willingness.

[cheritzbullshitz]

Dandelion Head-Cannons: Playing horror games w/you

It looks like people are starting to come back to this fandom a little bit, huh? :D

idea from an adorable-ass mystic messenger post. I would link it if I remembered who made it

also I thought of Until Dawn when writing this but any scary game with some sort of plot-line you like will probably(?) work

also also this headcannon (my first one!) has the dandelion gang written in it, but I might add the wizard and maybe Heejung(?) here if anyone wants me to enough idrk

Enjoy! :D

Jiwoo:

-Jiwoo was reading some shitty romance novel in Heejung’s room when he heard you scream

-omg wERE YOU OKAY?

-he chucked his book across the room and ran out to see

-he ran back to pick up his book, save his page, and then ran back out the room

-saw you sitting on the couch with all the lights off and gripping the controller like a madman

-oh

-”How dARE YOU SCARE ME LIKE THAT, (NAME)!”

-”What are you even playing that made you scream like that?”

-you explained what you’re playing and he practically had sparkles in his eyes when he said “Pshh! Give me the controller. Your strong boyfriend can handle this way better than you.”

-he can’t

-when the first jumpscare came up, his ears stood straight up on end it’s so cute omfg. He screamed louder than you probably ever could, dropping the controller and reaching for the closest thing around him to wrap his arms around for protection, which was you

-you wrapped an arm around him too, patting his back, and teased him with a big ol’ smirk the one he fucking hated so much

-”My strong boyfriend can handle this way better than me, huh?”

-he threw your hand off his back and launched back out of your arms with a light tinge of red on his face, shouting “SH-SHUT UP!”

-it’s so cute

-you offer to take the controller but he’s just...

-he externally ain’t having any of that, even though internally he desperately wants to shove it into your hands, turn into a rabbit, and cower into the couch cushions

-after awhile, you just give up asking even though he really doesn’t want you to

-when he ends up accidentally killing his favourite character, he gets so sad and frustrated

-he literally screamed “NO!” at the top of his lungs

-he was even tearing up poor bby

-you decide he’s had enough

-you turn off the game, turn on the lights (without any complaints from him) and spend the rest of the evening comforting him

-he fought you at first, but once you’ve fought back enough, he kinda just gave in to your love

-you end up rubbing his back with his head in your lap, telling him everything’s okay

-”Everything is NOT OKAY, (NAME).”

-he appreciates it a lot, but he definitely won’t be telling you that

Jisoo:

-he and you are cuddling on the couch together, watching Gordon Lambsy yell at some chefs

-Jisoo doesn’t give a shit about the people and is just staring at all the food all googly-eyed

-you, out of boredom, asked whether he wanted to play this horror game with you

-he never played one before, but playing games with you were always fun (or in the case of rage-games, always an experience at least) so he’s like hell yeah, even though he doesn’t entirely know what a horror game is

-before you guys started playing, you got up and hit the lights, which made him raise an eyebrow but he didn’t really bother to ask you

-you started the game and oh boi

-he understood why they were called horror games real quick

-he jumped every time there was a jumpscare and even screamed once but quickly covered it up with some noise he thought was manly enough

-it sounded like “AAAAAAAAAAaaargh! Ugh! Ahem!”

-you were fucking laughing so hard oml

-you teased him about it and he was like “Hey! A-at least I’m coping better than you!” his voiced cracked really badly too but you were already laughing so you couldn’t say anything

-you guys kept playing but he really wasn’t complaining at all. Every time something spooky started happening he got the opportunity to be your knight in shining armour (aka. he’d wrap an arm around your torso, and when you got really scared, he’d nuzzle his face into your neck) and when you got jumpscared you clung to him tightly like him to you most of the time

-he had fun with you, as he always did

Jiyeon:

-Jiyeon found this horror game he wanted to play with you

-”(Name), you have to play this with me! I wanted to play it by myself, but I was just too scared~!” He whined to you adorably, tears in his eyes.

-yeah right, Jiyeon. He’s just using this as an excuse to snuggle you and he knows it.

-you, of course, agreed

-because he kept on lying telling you how scared he was, you took control over the controller

-this boy was making it real hard for you to play, because throughout your whole playthrough, he was just all over you

-every time anything remotely spooky happened, he’d just take the opportunity to shove his face into any and every part he could

-your face, your stomach, once even your boobs

-you were just like “Yeah, you’re not that innocent. Get outta there.” and pulled him out, meanwhile he’s just trying not to laugh and keep up his wholesome cutie-pie facade.

-“Huh? What are-*snerk* you t...ta-*giggle* talking about, (Name)?”

-eventually, he shoved his faced into your crotch ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

-he didn’t stop there though he’s Jiyeon. Do you really think he would?

-he started nuzzling it over and over, not directing any attention away from it speaking of attention this boi rn

-”Jiyeon, what are you doing?”

-”What do you mean?” he cooed, looking up at you with big, doe eyes and giving a questioning expression

-”Oh, drop the act. I think you know.”

-he had this devious little smirk on when he flirted ”Is that true?”

-long story short, you both kinda forgot about the game and had fun “entertaining” one another ( ͡0 ͜ʖ ͡0) lol I’m not sorry

Jihae:

-Jihae was in the kitchen cooking something when suddenly he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist and hug him from behind

-”Guess who?” you chirped gleefully

-he knew who it was long before you said anything

-he smiled softly, interlacing the pair of hands with his own

-”I have a good guess.”

-”Well~? Guess!”

-”Oh, alright then. I’m guessing they have a wonderful smile, eyes I could get lost in, the ability to light up my life like never before, and are the love of my life. Am I correct?”  this adorable bastard is fucking gonna give me cavities from how sweet he is oml it hurts

-you turned him around and gave him a kiss on the cheek *if you’re normal-sized you’d probably have to jump in order to kiss him, and if your short, you’d jump up and hook your arms around their neck, forcing them to bend over when you hit the ground enough for you to kiss them - Jihae’s tall af*

-”Wanna be my backseat gamer? I’m gonna start playing a game.”

-”Uhh...” He glanced over at what he was cooking. He’d loved to hang out with you, but he didn’t want what he was making to burn. “Of course, my love, (yes, I know he calls you “my lady” in the game, but I wanna make this gender-neutral as possible, okay? If you actually have a problem with it, just read it as your name idk) but I may not be able to play with you for long.”

-he turned down the stove to its lowest heat before going with you

-once you started the game up, he was rather intrigued by the story, but he just couldn’t get his mind off his possibly burning food

-that is, until you started to get scared

-mama bird/papa bunny mode: activated

-absolutely every last drop of attention was shifted from his food to you

-immediately grabs your hand to comfort you

-”Oh my goodness (Name), are you alright? What happened? Why are you so afraid?”

-you tell him it’s the game but before you can tell why you’re playing it...

-”Oh, my love, we don’t have to play this game at all if you wish. I don’t care if I’m having fun with the game, if you start feeling in any way uncomfortable, especially scared, I can turn it off immediately. My love, I apologize deeply for not noticing any sooner. I should have been paying more attention to you. Here, allow me to turn off the-”

-”W-wait, I didn’t save!”

-Jihae, Jihae, Jihae. I love you, but boy need some CHILL. He’s too fucking sweet.

-you explained to him what you’re playing and why you want to play it despite it being scary, and he’s still just so worried

-”Alright, but please know that I can turn it off for you at literally any time you wish. If you feel like it’s too scary for you to handle, or you think that you might end up having a nightmare later tonight, at any moment in time-”

-”Jihae.”

-”...Yes?”

-you gave this big boy a reassuring squeeze of his hand, showing him how much you appreciated his caring nature god, would he be such a good dad

-”It’s fine, okay?”

-”...Okay.”

-from then on, he didn’t ask you again if you wanted him to turn it off, but he didn’t leave your side while watched you play, for moral support of course.

-if anything remotely scary happened in the game, he’d wrap both arms around you

-when something actually scared you, he’d be there to play with your hair and whisper to you over and over “It’s okay. It’s alright, my love.”

-once, you got scared so badly you hid yourself in his hair

-he was blushing so hard it was so cute to him

-alas, all good things come to an end

-out of the blue, you both smelt something strange in the air

-before you could ask him if he knew what it could be, he jumped up and shouted “YOUR FOOD!” and dashed out of the room with lightning speed

-your food…?

-oh no

-he was cooking before

-you dashed out the room and into the kitchen to see Jihae panicking over the small kitchen fire over the stove

-you joined in on the panicking and scrambled to put out the fire along with him

-he turned off the stove cautiously as you filled up a nearby pot with water

-you dumped the water onto the fire, putting it out almost instantly

-Jihae had this look on his face that just seemed so...sad. Sorry, and sad. It hurt your heart to look at it

-”(Name), I am so very sorry about this.” He sighed. “This was supposed to be (your favourite food), but alas, due to my ignorance, not only has your food literally gone up in flames, I endangered your life in the process. I can only ask for your condolences for to my actions.”

-bby Jihae it was a tiny flame that was literally smaller than your hand. It’s 100% fine.

-You smiled at him. He was gonna surprise you with your favourite food

-”Jihae, don’t get so hung-up about it. I love just the fact that you would go out of your way to do anything for me, even if I don’t end up eating it at all.”

-you give him a big ol’ hug and he’s sincerely happy he got to be with someone as loving and forgiving as you

Adult! Jieun:

-oh god I haven’t played seen his route in awhile. Jieun fans please be merciful on thee (>~<)

-you had just finished chopping up some apple slices for him, all with the skin peeled off, just the way he liked it

-when you walked up to him with a plate of apples, his eyes lit up like stars in a forest’s night sky

-this precious son of a bitch

-you took the opportunity to do something a cute couple would do and offered to feed him

-”If it makes you happy, you do not need my permission.”

-”Say ‘ah’, Jieun.”

-”Oh woah, Jieun. Slow down, heheh.”

-”OH MY GOD, JIEUN SLOW THE HELL DOWN JESUS CHRIST I CAN’T KEEP UP.”

-...well then.

-that was supposed to be cute, but it turned out to be exhausting

-hmm

-you still wanted to do something relationship-y with him though, because that didn’t really count

-ummm

-oh! A horror game could work! You guys could end up snuggling together (out of fear, but still)

-”Jieun, you wanna watch me play a game? It’ll be fun~.”

-”Yes. Spending time with you is often fun.”

-aw

-you started the game up and motioned for Jieun to sit closely next to you

-he did

-you wrapped your arm around his waist and started playing

-”Oh…” Jieun sheepishly murmured

-”This is...nice, (Name).” He shyly cooed, blushing slightly and shuffling a little closer to you

-once the lights were off and the game started getting eerie, he and you both got afraid.

-when the first actual scare came up, he jumped and gasped slightly, his rabbit ears standing straight up he’s so cute, you guys

-you got scared too, and he asked you why you might play something like this if you get scared while playing it

-you tried to explain to him how getting scared was strangely kinda fun and also gave you the opportunity to cuddle him

-”I don’t understand how being scared could be fun, but if you enjoy it…”

-he kept on getting scared, so you held him closer to you, and he wrapped himself around you in return, but he still was getting really spooked

-so you paused the game, stood up, left the room he was terrified at the thought of you leaving, so you had to convince him you’d be as fast as possible, and eventually he let you go, but not without the lights turned on for him, grabbed a big blanket, dragged it back to the room, to see Jieun cowering into the couch cushions, covering his eyes with his bunny ears. Poor bby Jieun! and wrapped yourselves in its warmth

-he immediately calmed down

-when it was combined with your arm back around his waist, he actually passed out on your shoulder

-you practically had a heart attack it was so cute

-you decided to join him in his nap

-you laid Jieun down and spooned with him, him being the little spoon

-despite just playing a horror game, with him in your arms, you fell asleep relatively easy

[tobywaw-blog]

My complete guide to winning airline competitions

I'm actually writing this on the 20th December 2019 before my third win with pre-emptive confidence that I am going to win another big airline competition by more skill rather than luck.

1. The first was Sri Lankan airlines. I submitted a picture of my decorated Christmas desk at work and told them why I wanted to go to Sri Lanka. Skill and research led me to be chosen and taken out for a week to Sri Lanka with everything paid for. They even filmed it and I am on their website.

2. Air Transat did a mother's day competition. I signed my mother's card with the other page explaining that I want to go to Canada to see my uncle, auntie and cousins. They picked it for originality.

Since then I've entered 100's more competitions on FACEBOOK/INSTAGRAM ranging from Tagging / Commenting / Sharing / Downloading apps / Writing essays / Making videos & pictures. I have come close in quite a few and it keeps spurring me on.

Here's some rules to abide by to help you get your first win.

The most important one first

Read fully the T&C's (Terms and conditions) and understand them. Then re-read them again. You will find you missed something across many pages and that 1 little thing can disqualify your entry. Sometimes it even comes down to uploading the right picture format and 200x200 pixels! etc. Also a lot of people throw their entry in the comments section when it's not counted!

Use an independent account so that other people can't hop onto your potential win. Algorithms will show friends what they might also be interested in and what friends are doing. There was one with only 12 legit entries so having a few people hop onto the competition via you might have someone else win. If it's that long lost person you didn't really like from school that you forgot you had added. Well don't blame me lol. Finally it also helps you to see competitions in your news feed only and you may have to block some pages that are not relevant but sponsored, but all this is easier than your main account.

Have a trusted friend/partner who you can tag any time of day in any competition as a lot ask for this. Make sure they don't go liking and commenting all over it as the algorithms again will show 3rd party friends over theirs.

Remember you can't win them all. There will be complete frustration and let down in some competitions. You may even have a hard time getting to sleep one night as you convince yourself you are the winner. An airline once chose mine to display amazing entries so far. Honestly mine was very detailed with a photo and the chosen winners were pretty much "I want to go here with my friend" Fuming! Many competitions choose at random so therefore beware of putting in lots of time to the standard. (Tag a friend and comment below some shit).

Although it may be tempting, never call out people for their invalid entries. You see people do this regularly helping out people that don't read and it's dog eat dog. If you don't understand how to enter, give yourself a break for a day or 2 and see if you can work it out as you don't want to create a huge hype of invalid entree's now re-entering legit.

Some competitions use flash games like tetris or little games. If the rules say a random pick of anyone that submits their score. Enter. If its highest score have a go but know that there's probably some kid out their scripting the best score while he's sleeping! Very unfair. I met one of these people in China and they were a millionaire from doing higher level scripting as a career and they showed me it in action!

Keep a log and calendar of competitions ending so you can keep track. Many times I have gone back and used another account not associated with my entry to call out BULLSHIT winners and referred to the T&C's. Most of the time the winners will be re-picked if enough people complain (Hence the reason for using another account to call out). Further to this a lot of competition organisers need a bit more time to draw the winner. The amount of people that complain and get rude is hilarious and they are definitely excluding themselves as winners haha

Don't jump on the bandwagon. Be very original and detailed. NEVER take pictures from the internet! Sometimes you are asked to provide a "personal" picture of the country they are sending you to (RARE). Find a facebook friend and low key use their photo of that country, but make sure it's not traceable. Hence the alternative account to avoid friend detection first. Should be fine, maybe even bring them a gift back and tell them the whole story if you did win it lol.

Another Don't jump on the bandwagon. I'm a big believer that when you win something they list your name in their database. So why enter to win a model plane or a goodie bag. I've nearly entered many times without reading the T&C's finding it's a tiny prize and that could really take you out the big win in the future. It looks fixed to have a person win twice! We all know it.

Keep a folder with essays, finest photos, information which you feel will stand out. It's quite easy to adapt an essay or picture which you are really into and come at a new competition with a different angle.

Do not suck up to the competition organisers with your entry/response. No family tragedies or I'm poor story's.

Check the amount of follows and start date of pages you are entering competitions through. Anything from 0-100 is pretty much bullshit. 100-500, be cautious. 1000+ and you're looking good to go. All SandrasTips or whatever is pure bullshit. No one gives a car for free away every month. Its collecting lots of personal details and being sold onto marketing companies who will most likely make a sale from vulnerable / uneducated people. Also have the occasional clear out of pages you follow that are not relevant to your news feed and apps.

Don't ever comment on a post / like a post / share a post unless asked to. Algorithms will show people what is trending/popular increasing the chance of popping up on peoples news feeds on the world stage. This means being organised to post your entry on their facebook post in the final hours of the competition. Reduce the "multiplication of bacteria" affect. Some competitions state a deadline date for entries but always have a clause that allows them to change their T&C's so suit them for closing the competition earlier than expected as they get too many entries. Just get that entry in if you can see the hype!

If you're at a festival, ask if you don't see any competitions. Half the time there’s something alright going and sometimes you don't have to pay for tickets.

Take a screenshot if you're in a rush and come back to it the SAME DAY. Same day is a must as I've missed out some easy competitions by mere hours!. As I'm writing this I missed one yesterday. Some capabilities of facebook are better on a laptop/PC and so are the external links which you go through to enter from legit pages which are often buggy when clicking that most important "Enter" button. Double click and you usually give a double entry which under the T&C is a disqualification. This is why I have got into the screenshots as some are simply near impossible to enter by phone! Crappy website designers! Also keep in mind there's more sponsored competitions via phone app's.

Bookmark entry pages and one's you can enter daily and to keep an eye on and also remember the one's you've already signed up to as most disqualify duplicate entries. Some let you re-enter if you are unhappy with your first. It's very good to see competition that emerges over the course of the competition. I have seen winners win with their second entry before.

Some of them you are just going to find so simple and some you should know when to not bother. For example. They want you to make a movie hyping up your town. I'm out already, someone in a nice city is going to destroy you over your random village/town.

Proper photograph competitions. If you don't have a very expensive camera and photo editing, forget it. No one gives a crap about iphone images.

Think about how you display and present entries. Merge photos or join them with an essay by the side with font large enough to read. Pretty it up. Remember lot's of competitions want to display your entry as raw as you sent it in. Get it presentable. No big airline with 1mil followers is going to show anything that isn't smart and professional.

Have a good look at entries for ideas. You can spur on a new idea and end up not shooting yourself in the foot with something less interesting than the competition.

Check filtered messages occasionally. Sometimes you can get messaged for the next phase of entries or as I have found one employee contacted me off her personal account which was in my "message requests". I went straight to the Air Transat main page with the screenshot to check if legit. Luckily it was and then I started the process of getting my FREE FLIGHTS TO TORONTO.

DPA - Data Protection

Be damn careful of just signing up to entry forms.

Name and email should be fine. You can use a different email just for competitions. You can also use a name for each one to detect who's selling your details to companies as the emails will address you by that name. You can really catch some companies out easy that way.

Address' and phone numbers are more personal. You should be confident that you are signing up to a more legit place. Even if not that legit nothing really happens. It's just you're getting more specific details in someone's database and can get spam letters and phone calls based on your area to sell you insurance or energy plans.

I've had to block many numbers over the years but it's really dying down to not getting any anymore.

Never sign into Facebook via an email link to enter a competition. Always through the normal channels and paste the hyperlink in. If you're already on Facebook logged in and you copy the link in and asks to log in. BULLSHIT get away.

Never ever give any payment details. This guide is based on completely free entries for big wins.

 Finally

Remember there's nothing that similar of a rush than winning a flight and holiday somewhere absolutely free!

Don't become obsessed with competitions, it can consume your day and most of the time waiting around for something you won't win which is why the calendar is a good idea. Write the deadlines in and check it once a day.

Never be a sore loser for a legit winner, be happy for them, they might be in a really bad situation and this has allowed them to see someone across the other side of the world they haven't seen in 20 years.