idk to me it’s just like,,,black people coined the phrases say her name and rest in power for a reason and im gonna focus specifically on say her name because it was black women who wanted to call attention to the systemic violences that we have faced that have resulted in the deaths of so many of us which were left unrecognized. it was specifically addressing an issue within the black community wherein black femicides (particularly at the hands of the police/intimate partners) were not given the same spotlight as the murders of black men. we are always forgotten in life and in death and that is part of why the violence against us has been permitted to continue to the point that we are at a significantly higher risk of homicide than any other race. and the statistics are even more grim for black transwomen and femmes. for every nonblack victim of transphobic violence that gets recognition in their horrific death, there are 10 black victims whose names we never know. like that is the whole point of the phrase this shit is life or death for us and we know that the moment race is decontextualized from the nature of the phrase then that is when we are once again forgotten. but yall are acting like we’re trying to start genz tiktok lingo/aave co-opting discourse.
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A loud hissing sounds from a ways down the road. Diane opens her eyes just as a bus drives by, one of those big black ones with the padded seats. Sometimes they have television screens that fold out from the ceiling, she remembers that, but everyone has to watch the same thing and the movie is never very good.
Some guy walks out of the general store across the street, and she runs forward as though she might be able to catch the door before it falls shut behind him. She doesn't, of course. She didn't really think she would.
Apart from the young woman behind the counter, there doesn't seem to be anyone around. The shelf by the door is full of baking ingredients, flour and sugar and colored sprinkles and things, and Diane wanders toward the produce section like she does it all the time. What would be something good to take? Celery, maybe, a bunch with a lot of stalks she could eat one at a time. Or maybe carrots would be better, a whole bag of them that would last a while. Yeah, carrots would be better.
Picking up the biggest bag, pressing it to her chest, she zips her windbreaker up to her chin, lowering her head and folding her arms in front of her so the bag doesn’t fall out past her waist. The carrots are a little heavy, and her jacket doesn't fit exactly right.
The floor tiles sure are dirty.
The woman at the register is watching her. She feels it, her eyes on the back of her head. It'll be fine, though. She'll keep her head down and walk out the door fast, and she'll never come back in here, and everything will be fine.
Little buds of broccoli are stuck to her fingers. She shakes her hand and wipes it on her jeans.
The woman at the register is watching her.
“You really suck at this.”
She closes her eyes tight.
Well. Can you really say you're surprised?
“Take Nutella next time,” the woman says, “if you want something you can resell. Or peanut butter, if you need something that's gonna hold you over for a while. And don’t look so cagey.”
She shouldn't be listening to this. This is probably a trap. This woman is trying to set her up. Trying to make her look stupid. Trying to trick her into making a fool of herself.
“You wanna stick a can of beans in your pocket and sneak out the door while I check inventory?”
Diane unzips her windbreaker and puts the carrots back on the shelf.
“Make sure you take one with a pop top.”
Don't you pity me. Don't you tell me I'm not good enough to do it on my own.
Crossing her arms, she ducks her head down and walks past the flour and sugar and colored sprinkles and things, and shoves her shoulder into the front door.
Better luck next time.
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Madam Yu’s rancid vibes are everything to me. This bitch comes into a room, points at her son and says “god you’re a bad son,” and then to her husband and says, “what bastard doesn’t favor his own son,” turns to Wei Wuxian and says, “how dare you be better at everything than my shitty son,” then turns to her daughter and says, “stop fuckin peeling seeds, it makes you look stupid” and then she leaves the room again.
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Still emotional about Fy'ra Rai and Opal, actually. Thought dump time bc i. dont have the energy to cut this down effectively.
Because at that point in the episode, Opal is doomed. Not in the fun little "oh things are getting worse ;)" kind of way we'd been experiencing leading up to the fight, or even IN the fight. At that point in the fight, Cyrus is dead. Dorian and Dariax have their minds twisted, bodies clambering away from the fight. Morrighan has felt, firsthand, just how far gone Opal is, holes in her mind, her friend broken. The heartbreaking sentence of. "You can always come back." understands that she is gone already. She's lost already. Opal has forgotten Ted. Opal has forgotten herself.
So at that point in the fight, we know Opal is doomed. Us as the audience, the cast, the characters. Aabria is running through each of the other crownkeepers and it is more of a goodbye than a round of combat. Defying the Spider Queen invites death, with zero hesitation- Cyrus's body as physical evidence of that. The terms were very clearly set: You leave Opal, you let her be lost. Or you die. (Leaving Opal anyway).
and Fy'ra Rai then. Grasps the crown, understands intimately that she can break it off and it will kill Opal. (I will free you, if you want me to. We would lose you but you would not be taken). And asks, what do you want me to do. What do you want.
and Opal says, I want you to leave. (I want you to live.) and Fy'ra Rai functionally says. No. Sorry. That's not one of the options.
If you wanted to go. I will do that (your blood on my hands). If you want me to stay, I will. But I'm not going to leave you.
There was the point where Fy'ra Rai broke into the communication and I felt my insides sink because. Look. Lets be real, Aabria had already demonstrated the stakes here. The gesture would not be rewarded for the gesture alone. The Spider Queen's terms were: You leave Opal. Or you die.
And Fy'ra Rai said: no.
I don't think I'm overstepping to assume that if Fy'ra Rai had failed the intimidation check, she would have died. This entire thing hits me so hard because I think Anjali knew that too. I think Fy'ra Rai knew that too. Yes, Fy'ra Rai convinced a Betrayer God to negotiate. She carved a third option out of a non-negotiable situation. She knew what would happen if she failed and did it anyway, with no fear, no regret, no waver in her resolve. She had lost enough sisters. She wasn't going to lose anymore, no matter the personal cost. That's part of why it succeeded, I'm sure, but.
Just. Fuck me. The amount of resolve. The amount of love. The amount of conviction. "I am. A protector." You know your friend- your sister- is doomed. So no more negotiating away from that. You step to her side and you grasp her hand and say- doom me with her.
And in some, sideways way, this saves you both, at least for a little while.
Because this story is a tragedy. This ending is a sad one. We know this already. But think about- Opal, under Lolth's bidding, alone in the dark. Think about Fy'ra Rai, alive, intimately aware that she had failed to protect yet another sister.
And think about what we got, instead: the two of them, in deep darkness, danger encroaching- holding hands. Someone they love at their side. A champion. And her champion.
This is still a sad story. But it's not the same one. Fy'ra Rai stared down a Betrayer God and made her change her mind. She stared down a Betrayer God, and her love and conviction changed the nature of the story. It shouldn't have been able to. But she did.
Fy'ra Rai chose to doom 2 people instead of one, and the sheer strength of her love and will managed to save them both, at least for a little while. Isn't it funny how that works? Isn't it devastating? Isn't it. fucking incredible?
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