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tinyboxxtink · 3 years

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"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 2*

Part 1

Part 3

Y'all IDK what it is about this story but I can just write and write and write. This one ended up being 11 pages [on a google doc] And I only stopped because it's 2:15 am.

I hope you guys like this, but I just want to clarify: This isn't a Barisi fic. I'm sorry, if you're looking for that, just...this isn't it. I mean they do interact and it'll be fun, but they will not be ending up together.

That being said, enjoy this new chapter! I'm debating on how pathetic enamored Sonny is, I don't think I'm gonna go that deep. No worries, people.

As always let me know if you want to be added/deleted off the tag list!! <3

Tag List

@madamsnape921

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@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

-------

"Y/N, I'm so happy for you and Barba. You make the cutest couple," Sonny beamed at you while you were wrapped in Rafael's arms, huge smiles on all of your faces.

"Thank you Sonny, that means so much." You gave him a warm hug.

"Yeah….and you'll make the cutest couple in HELL!" All of a sudden Sonny pushed both you and Rafael off a cliff.

You were falling to your death when you woke up to your professor glaring at you.

"Have a nice nap, Miss Y/N?" He scowled at you.

"Um," You cleared your throat and straightened up at your desk. "Yes sir,"

"Good," he huffed as he headed to the front of the classroom once more. "Maybe now we can continue without your snoring,"

You heard the students around you snicker at his comments as You sunk lower into your desk and waited for class to end. It had been a long train ride home and then a drive to your apartment last night, you hadn't gotten home until around 2 am and had this 8 am class. As soon as the professor dismissed your class you booked it out of the class and out into the parking lot of your community college.

"Ugh, could this day get any--" before you could even finish your thought you got your answer. Your phone beeped with a text from Rafael:

RAFA: Hey killer, how's the bullshit county? 😉

That was the nice thing, then just as you were about to text him back your phone lit up.

SONNY BOI CALLING

"Shit!" You hissed to no one. "How does he know?!"

"Ahem….Heyyy, cuz," You answered it with your best nonchalant voice. That of course sounded totally chalant.

"Hey sunshine," His voice sounded relaxed, thank God.

"What's up?" You tried keeping your tone light as you neared your car.

"Well y'know I was just thinkin, I feel real bad about standing you up last night,"

"Oh, Son it's no big deal really," the fact that he felt guilty about anything made you feel even more guilty.

"No, I know you have a busy schedule and it takes a lot to get into the City and I just blew you off," He kept on with the guilt train.

"You didn't blow me off Son you had work. I get that--" You unlocked your car and got in, starting it so your windows would thaw. And your whole body.

"Well I wanna make it up to you," He cut you off.

"Oh?" your voice fell short. This couldn't be good.

"Yeah, my boss-- well he's not really My boss but Mr. Barba--"

Oh shit. Barba? Was Barba having a party? Why wouldn't He tell you that? Wait why WOULD he tell you that? Stupid. Wait, what was Sonny saying?

".... birthday, so you could be like my date," you caught the tail end of his invite.

"Birthday?" You repeated like a parrot. It was Barba's birthday? Oh god. You were really trying not to focus on how old he was. Don't ask. For the love of god don't say it Sonny.

"Yeah don't worry you don't need to get him anything, I got it covered," Sonny assured you.

Well, that was one way you could figure out just how much your cousin cared about his "idol". The more expensive the gift, the stronger the feelings were. You wondered whether you should ask him now or wait for the surprise. Maybe you should ask now, then his answer should tell you what you'd be getting into.

*So what did you get this 'non boss' of yours?" You asked slyly.

"Oh," now Sonny's voice dropped. "Well I, I don't wanna say,"

Fuck.

Don't panic. Do not panic.

"Oh come on Sonny," you did your best to keep a joking tone. "What am I gonna do, tell him?"

Should you joke about it? Hidden in plain sight, right?

"No I guess not, it's not like you know him,"

Whew.

"It's just kinda embarrassing…."

Oh god.

"O-Oh?" You tried to stay calm. "Why's that? Is it a gag gift?"

Please be a gag gift.

"Actually it's a new briefcase," He replied.

"Oh why is that embarrassing you goof?” You gave him a hard time. What was that in the emotional baggage department? Pun intended.

"I mean, it's more expensive than the one I own," You could hear the shrug in his voice.

Fuck. Don't ask why. Don't ask. But if you don't ask, that will be even more suspicious wouldn't it?

"Oh Son," You asked softly. "Why would you do that?"

"Well the one he has is as old as dirt, I think it's probably the first one he ever bought. I wanted him to look snazzy in court." He replied with a super eager tone.

"That's sweet," you were pounding your steering wheel in frustration. Say it.

"Seems like a lot of work for a mentor though," You closed your eyes mentally killing yourself.

"Yeah well," he laughed uncomfortably.

Say it.

"Sonny…” You didn’t want to do this.

“Yeah?” He was oblivious.

“You know you can always talk to me,”

“Yeah of course,” He assured you.

“About anything,” You scrunched your nose.

“Yeah I know, sunshine,” He half laughed.

“ANYTHING,” You reiterated

There was a long awkward pause.

“...Sonny?” You made sure he hadn’t hung up on you.

“Yeah, I'm here,” He replied softly.

“So?” You waited for the bomb to drop.

So…. He sighed. "I just want him to like me,"

Dammit.

"....Yeah," You nodded, cursing yourself.

"Yeah, its stupid. I'm stupid." He laughed again.

“You're not stupid,” you laid your head on the steering wheel in shame.” I mean the heart wants what it wants right?”

“What?! Oh my god, Y/N,” He scoffed. “I'm not gay,”

“….Sonny it's 2021,” you shook your head. “Sexuality is a spectrum,”

Right well. He laughed defensively. "I'm on the p in the v scale,"

“Ugh, Sonny,” you made a face.

“Sorry sunshine,” He apologized. “I just...why would you even think that?!”

“Uh…” You paused.

Maybe he wasn't fully aware that he had romantic feelings for Rafael. If you started pointing out the signs, he might realize it. But then you'd have a cousin going through gay panic AND then finding out it doesn't matter anyway.

"No reason," You lied.

"I just want him to like him so he'll give me a good recommendation once I graduate Fordham Law,"

"Oh" you smacked your head. "Duh. Right. Of course,"

That was completely legitimate. Maybe you had been misreading this whole thing. Now you just had the whole overprotective Gotti side of Sonny to worry about.

"Well I guess I could spend the weekend in the city," You shrugged as you pulled out of the parking lot.

“Absolutely!” He exclaimed. “My couch is always open,”

Not exactly where you were thinking of sleeping, but you weren't blowing your cover over the phone. Wait, maybe you should. Then he couldn't kill you over the phone. Wait, he's presumably at work right now. You didn't know how closely he worked with Barba, but you figured it would be a hell of a lot easier for Sonny to get to him before you could stop him from killing Rafael.

"Sure sounds good. I'll see you then cuz,” You smiled and hung up the phone.

------

Friday arrived, and you once again found yourself standing outside Forlini's. You debated heavily whether to go in or not, but you told yourself you were going to wait for Sonny outside this time, no more risking a sexy bar rendezvous.

You hadn’t really responded to Rafael’s texts the last few days, and you certainly didn’t tell him you were coming. Maybe you should have told him. You grabbed your phone to text him when you heard a familiar voice behind you:

“Y/N?”

You spun around to see Rafael dressed to the 9’s, smiling at you. He smelled delicious, mixed with the food aroma wafting out of the restaurant and the smell of freshly fallen snow in New York City.

“...Happy Birthday, Counselor,” You bit your lip nervously.

“W-What are you doing here?” He stared at you as if he thought he was dreaming.

“Sonny invited me,” You nervously smiled.

“Seriously?” He laughed.

“Seriously,” You nodded with a laugh as well.

“Did-- did you say anything to him?” He asked you worriedly.

“Are you insane?!” You hit him. “No!”

“So why did he invite you here?” He asked.

“He said it was to make up for ditching me the other night,” You shrugged.

“...The irony,” He smirked.

“Mmm,” You nodded with an amused smile.

“Well this is a very happy birthday indeed,” He smiled, pulling you closer into his coat similar to the night you had met.

“....Just don’t ask which one it is,” He warned you while staring at your lips deviously.

“Deal,” You nodded in agreement before he pulled you into a hungry kiss.

“DUDE!!” You snapped back before his lips were on yours for more than a millisecond. “Are you nuts?! Sonny’s gonna be here any second!”

“It’s my birthday, carino,” He made a pouty face. “Don’t yell at me,”

“Oh lord,” You rolled your eyes. “Alright, man child,”

He was about to go for another sneaky kiss when you both heard a voice from behind you.

“....Sunshine?”

“Oh!” You jumped ten feet away from Rafael when you turned to see Sonny standing there with a huge gift bag, staring slack jawed at the two of you. “Sonny! I um, we--”

“I was teaching your cousin a lesson in New York safety,” Rafael talked over you, his face completely stone. God he was a good liar.

“Excuse me, counselor?” Sonny raised an eyebrow, glancing between the two of you. You just stared in speechlessness.

“She was standing on this curb holding her bag out for any miscreant on these streets to just wrestle away from her, I was just demonstrating how,” He gestured to your open purse.

“Barba I really think this ain’t that kinda neighborhood,” Sonny half laughed.

“...You never know,” Rafael shrugged. “Now let’s all get inside, I’m sure everyone is anxious to start celebrating me,”

You and Sonny both rolled your eyes with smiles; too similar of smiles, you noticed. Thankfully, he did not. You both followed Rafael back to a private room where a bunch of fancy dressed people were mingling with drinks in their hands while two long empty tables stood in the middle of the room. They all stopped and clapped when Rafael walked in.

“Oh, for me?” He feigned surprise and humility.

“Yeah right Barba,” A woman laughed sarcastically. “You’re the one who invited us here,”

“Touche, Rita,” Rafael smirked as he began making the rounds around the table greeting everyone.

“So are we allowed to eat now, I’m starving,” An older man asked.

“And I’ve got a son waiting,” A red headed woman chimed in.

“Right, right,” Rafael nodded as people began to take seats. “Sorry everyone, you know I love to make a dramatic entrance,”

“Oh trust me we know, Barba,” Another man called. “Your catwalks into the courtroom prove that. I think we have a montage of them,”

“Ha Ha,” Rafael rolled his eyes, then turned to you and Sonny.

“Sonny,” He put a hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t you sit next to me?”

“R-Really, counselor?” You saw Sonny’s eyes light up like Christmas tree lights.

Fuck. You knew he was only asking him so that you would sit next to him as well. And while you loved the idea, you knew how much this was toying with Sonny’s feelings.

“A-Are you sure, about that Mr. Barba?” You gave him a look.

“Absolutely, Miss-- I didn’t catch your name?” He played it so cool.

“Y/N,” You held out your hand as you re-introduced yourself.

“Right, well--” He shook your hand then turned his attention to Sonny who was still beaming like a kid on Christmas. “I don’t know how much Carisi has told you, but he is quite the promising mentee of mine,”

“....R-Really, Rafael?” Sonny blinked in disbelief, causing Rafael’s smile to falter for a moment. Sonny had never called him “Rafael” before, it was always “Barba”. Shit, maybe he had given him too much praise.

“I mean, you know, for a lap dog,” He quickly added with a snarky tone and a smirk.

“Mr. Barba!” You tried not to raise your voice at the birthday boy. “That is my cousin you’re talking ab---”

“No, no it’s fine Y/N-- th-that’s how we work isn’t it, counselor? He just gives me jabs, I know he doesn’t mean it,” Sonny laughed nervously, staring at the floor. He knew not to get too comfortable with Barba, why did he even try it?

“Indeed,” Rafael nodded in agreement. “But, I still request you sit by me-- at least I know you don't poison my food. Which is more than I can say for many of my esteemed ‘guests’,” He eyed the tables of people before him.

“Then why invite them to your party?” You quirked an eyebrow.

“I get that Jersey doesn’t have the social classes of Manhattan, Miss Y/N,” He smirked. “But here, you’ve got to do things to keep up appearances,”

“Oh do you?” You practically growled.

“Yes,” He nodded while a waiter brought him a glass of scotch. “Even if you don’t like someone, if they serve a purpose for you than you do what you must to keep in their good graces,”

“Oh is that so? So you’re only kind to people who can ‘serve’ you?” You crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes at him.

What kind of Danny Zuko bullshit was this?! This was an entirely different Rafael Barba you had met the other night. He was kind, flirty, endearing. This new Barba was snarky and condescending, and you were not amused at all.

“Y/N, chill,” Sonny hissed at you. “This is just how Barba is, he’s harmless,”

“Yeah well you might not mind being his doormat Sonny, but I sure as hell won’t be,” You angrily stomped off.

“Oh my god,” Sonny muttered, wondering if he should run after you or not. “Barba, I am so so sorry about her,”

“It’s fine, Carisi,” He watched you stomping away, trying to hide the guilt in his voice. He was just trying his best to throw Sonny off the trail. He may have overcompensated just a tad.

“I-I should go check on her, She’s just a kid--”

“No, allow me,” Rafael put a hand to Sonny’s chest. “It was my faux paux, I should apologize to her myself. I was being a bit of an ass,”

“Yeah but that’s just you, Barba,” Sonny chuckled, trying not to blush at Rafael’s hand on his chest.

“True, but I forget not everyone knows me as well as you do, Carisi,” And now he was trying to be extra nice to Sonny to get on his good side, while cluelessly egging on his feelings.

“That is very true,” Sonny laughed even more nervously. “I’ll uh, I’ll take a seat and get our drinks ordered,”

“Excellent,” Rafael smiled at him, probably one of five times in the entire time they’d known each other. He gave Sonny one more pat on the back before walking after where you had stomped off to.

He found you right before you hit the front door, his hand catching yours before it could grab the handle. You turned and scoffed at him, your scowl still present after stomping off.

“Oh, come to appease me, counselor? How can I be of service to you?” You snapped.

“Please, Y/N,” He gave you apologetic eyes as he pulled you closer to him. “I’m sorry, I just-- I didn’t want Carisi to think anything was off. He already caught us being handsy, I had to make it look like we disliked each other,” He explained.

“Oh I think you’ve done that above and beyond, jackass,” You huffed. “First I’m too stupid to not get robbed in the city, and then I’m too uncultured to understand ‘high society’ manipulative bullshit?”

“I’m sorry, I may have gone a little over--” He started.

“But that wasn’t even an act, was it?” You interjected angrily.

“What do you mean?” He asked you curiously.

“Your line of you having ‘use’ of a person? I assume that is why you have a room full of powerful people you dislike as opposed to a room full of sycophants?” Yeah, you might just go to community college but you knew big words too.

“I mean, that is how it works--”

“Jesus Christ,” You shook your head with a laugh. “You know I understood for about half a second why my cousin is so infatuated by you, but I am losing that belief real quick,” You turned and started to walk away again.

“Y/N come on,” He grabbed both of your arms this time and pulled you close into him, your noses almost touching.

“Look I’m-- I’m sorry, that I’m---this,” He gestured to himself.

“But that’s just how I have to be in their world,” He gestured back towards the room. “I’m telling you, it’s a room full of sharks. If I show weakness or misstep in decorum, I’m nothing but chum to those people,”

“The guy you met the other night, that’s the real me,” He put a hand to your cheek. “I never get to be that guy, not in public. That’s why I was so attracted to you,” He put his other hand on your waist.

“I don’t have to be ‘Rafael Barba, the snarky ADA with a silver tongue,’ I can just be…’Rafa’,” He gave you an earnestly sad smile.

“I’m sorry,” You blinked in confusion. “I know I’m not helping myself but what exactly is the ‘ADA’?”

Your question brought that familiar amused grin and a laugh. “See, this is what I’m talking about,”

“Oh yeah I know, the ignorant girl you can placate--”

“No,” He put a finger on your lips. “The earnest, normal, gorgeous girl,” He kissed your forehead. “I’m sure if we took a poll in here right now the majority of the room would be with you, not knowing what an ADA is,”

“Which still doesn’t answer the question,” You pointed out.

“I…” He tried to think of a way to explain his role in the Manhattan judicial system. “Well, the DA of the county is like-- the King of Lawyers in that section. Or queen, as my boss is Rita,” He shook his head with a laugh. Oh Rita Calhoun, the stories he could tell about her.

“So, you’re her king?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Eh, I’d say Prince but she’d probably say Jester if she heard this metaphor to be honest with you,”

“Mmm I like that,” You finally let yourself smile at him.

“A Prince?” He grinned.

“The Jester,” You gave him a tongued smile, settling against his chest.

“Well, I’ll gladly take that title if it makes you happy,” He kissed your forehead. “I’d do anything to make you happy right now,”

You looked into his green eyes, they were now their usual sparkling green hue, and you remembered very quickly how you had gotten yourself in this mess in the first place. He really was a sweet, charming, gorgeous guy. And then you remembered those were probably all the reasons Sonny fell for him too.

“Ahem.” You straightened up and stepped out of his grasp. “Well, what would make me happy right now is getting back to my cousin,”

“Oh,” Rafael’s eyes softened into a sad gaze.

“Rafael, I think he really likes you,” You bit your lip with guilt. “And you toying with him just now isn’t helping!”

“Toying with him?” Rafael’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion? “I wasn’t toying with--”

“Sit by me, Carisi? You’re important to me, Carisi?” You imitated his questions in a mocking tone.

“I had to ask him that so you would--” He started to explain, but you already knew.

“I know!” You stopped him. “I know, that’s why it’s so fucked!” You put your hands over your face.

“Carino…” Rafael walked over and pulled your hands from your face and held them.

“I’m hurting him every second that I stand here with you, and I--” You bit your lip trying not to cry. “I’m still doing it! I can’t walk away!”

“So don’t,” He squeezed your hands with an even sadder look.

“This is just--” You broke free from his grasp once again and wiped your eyelids. “We need to get back before Sonny comes after you,”

“....So where does this conversation leave us, then?” He asked you cautiously.

“I don’t…” You gazed into his puppy dog emerald eyes. “I don’t know, I don’t want to think about it right now, okay?”

“Fair enough,” He put his hands down in concession. “...But we really need to--”

“Yeah, I know,” You nodded softly as you walked back to the private room, Rafael trailing behind you.

All you could think on the way back was how in God’s name were you going to make it through the rest of the night.

#rafael barba #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba fanfiction #rafael barba imagine'#sonny carisi #law and order svu #weird secret friends

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multifandomwhore-003 · 3 years

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Thank you so much for the tag @wint3r-h3art

First fic I've ever posted on here: It's not that big of a deal (JJ Maybank)

I remember posting this for the first time along with the many other fics that I had already written on Wattpad, I was so inexperienced on here now it's kinda funny to look back at all the things I changed over, and over, and over again to the original posts.

The soft fic (I'm not just gonna pick one ngl): Fucking Alaska (Rudy Pankow), Mornin' Juliet (Elliot), Coffee breath (Elliot) "Pregnant (Rewrite) 2, 3" miniseries (JJ Maybank), "He just needs time 2" miniseries as well (Fezco).

All of this fics made me so happy to write them yet so sad because my first thought was "Oh, I'm so single," I love all of these fics so much, the one that's most memorable to me is the first part of "He just needs time" it got around 400+ notes in less than 3 hours, by the next day it had gotten me 200+ followers and 1000+ notes, it was INSANE, from having 0 requests suddenly I would get at least one every day, just madness, complete madness. Same thing with all my Elliot fics, they also did well and I'm really grateful.

The fic that I'm most proud of (I'm also not just gonna pick one): "Black Dahlia 2" miniseries (JJ Maybank), Rules (JJ Maybank), Hypnotized (Rudy Pankow), I wanna escape to her too (TAMS! Peter Parker).

These fics hold such a special place on my heart for different reasons, "The Black Dahlia" miniseries was the first time I truly came out of my comfort zone in format, writing, themes; I did so much research on EVERYTHING about it, songs, figure skating, racism, and the amount of love and heart I put into it still kinda shocks me because of how good I think it is. "Hypnotized" was my first smut fic in which I also had to carefully come up with everything, I remember being so embarrassed as I kept writing because I wasn't a really sexual person at the time and it took me so long to kinda accept and come to terms with my sexuality, it's not perfect, but it meant so much to me to be like "Okay, having a sexual fantasy and writing it is completely fine, if they judge you fuck them,". "Rules" it's short, but the thing that makes or made me most proud of was how I managed to turn and twist this popular trope around the JJ Maybank fandom of breaking the rule of "No pogue on pogue macking," because everyone was writing that either JJ and the reader broke it, or they didn't but they wanted to, and so, I was like "Okay, what if she breaks it with someone else and he gets jealous and there like this whole thing of 'why not with me?'" and it was my "eureka" moment and I felt really good with myself of coming up with something a little bit different. "I wanna escape to her too" this fic is not at all unique or at least not the premise of it, but I knew I had to write something along the lines of grief to get it out of my system and although the story may not be super dramatic, or romantic, or anything like that, that fic is vulnerable as fuck and yes, it's about two people who are not me, but in the end that fic is the rawest I've ever been here.

The fic that shows my progress: "The blind boy/girl" miniseries (JJ Maybank)

*sighs* I remember coming up with these in the middle of class, and randomly writing the first part in like 20 mins straight, no distractions, and it was so surreal because of how beautifully invested I was in it, like seriously, after the first part I immediately finished the second; everything on this fic is carefully meditated and thought, nothing on it is a coincidence, nothing is unnecessary, to me it's "my perfect fic". It truly shows how far I've come, how my writing style has been more polished, and although I still play with more than one thing, or at least I try to, this is like the one fic you can put as a reference to identify any other thing I've written.

My fav WIP: Don't you know how to shut up? (Dylan O' Brien), DISCLAIMER, this may not be its final title.

Omg, y'all aren't ready, I'm kinda stuck on it atm, and trust me I open it daily to try and continue it, might have to rewrite some stuff, not gonna give away too much of it, all I'm gonna say is, that the playlist has been made, and once there's a playlist to a fic, YOU KNOW I'm INVESTED, okay?

(Hopefully) Y'all when you read it:

No pressure tagging: @sugarcoatedjj @endofthelinegang @pankowfruitsnacks

#Lia's ✨tag games✨ —🥀#sugarcoatedjj #wint3r h3art #pankowfruitsnacks #endofthelinegang

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tothemeadow · 3 years

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Okay I need some advice. So I'm in an all woman blerd group. (black nerds) and we have our own groups on messenger. Some of us (about 7) split off from the main group and made a sub group because we were more active and regularly see each other and go out to clubs and bars and so fourth.

Last weekend we were trying to plan to celebrate juneteenth and one of the girls, M, kept complaining about everything that we tried to plan. She only liked one thing. And we said "we'll you plan something." she said no. So juneteenth comes and me and 2 other girls were club hopping. One of the girls Kay, suggested a bar call whisky river. Long story short me and the other girl didn't really like this club. Let's just say it lacked seasoning. Kay liked it though so we eventually shut up. The food was bad and the drinks were gross but we just sat outside on our phones while Kay was working it on the dance floor. 💃

Then M showed up with her friend. She asked Kay why she chose this place and started to complain and Kay became visibly upset. And our other friend suggestedwe try a different club so we all could be happy. And Kay warned them that it was after 10pm and most clubs charge a fee to get in after that time. But M wanted to leave anyways. So we found a club 3 minutes away and M headed over there first to tell is how long the line was. Kay was still pissed. So she tells us it's short and we head over there then she texts us saying there's an entrance fee so they weren't going in. And now since we left the other club there would be a fee to get back into that one as well. Yeah we we're pissed. We decided to go to a gay bar and we invited M and she said "that's not the scene I'm. Looking for. But I still support y'all." so she basically left us in the damn parking lot.

We had fun at the gay bar and posted videos and pictures in the chat. And later M asked "where did y'all end up going?" we ignored it. The next day we had a video chat with everyone else in the group and basically Kay and the other friend said they wouldn't be doing shit for M anymore. I said then there's no reason for her to be in the group. The created of the group, we'll call her mama, cuz she mama bear, offered to talk to her but we still agreed to delete M from the sub group. Well somehow, long story short, she ended up not talking we her and just deleted her. She called her out on the main chat and Kay ended up having to explain to her why she got deleted. She had nothing but excuses and blamed me, yes me, for getting upset after the gay bar, even though we were ALL upset.

Now it's one of the girls birthday months and she's celebrating her birthday every weekend in July and she said that she invited M and that she didn't want any drama. I told her I won't be coming then. She said that M said she wouldn't cause any drama and that there's no grudge, but idk. I don't want to deal with M. Cuz even though we only had one bad experience with her, she was showing red flags in the chat. She makes everything about herself. The birthday girl says she wishes I would come, but understands if I don't and that M wasn't sure if she could even come to any of the events. But in my mind you screw me over once youll screw me over again. And she did that times 3. I know I sound petty but I'm too grown to be dealing with selfish people.

Hmmm this is somewhat of a tricky situation 🤔 Granted, if you want to see your friend for their birthday, nothing should get in the way of that. You could potentially ignore M or try to act civil if you do go to avoid problems. However, I don’t blame you for not wanting to be near her if she’s constantly raising red flags.

The thing about the “adult world” (listen up here, dear youngsters) is that people are gonna screw you over and have toxic traits no matter what. For example, my sister had 40-50+ year old women she worked with talk shit on her like they were some high school clique. Do what you want and don’t let people take that away from you.

I guess the point I’m trying to say is that you should try to be with your friend if you want. If M doesn’t even show up, that’s a bonus, right? You shouldn’t have to deal with her bullshit, but you shouldn’t let that stand in your way of having fun, either.

#lostalienchild

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anotherhomosapiens · 3 years

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Hey, everyone! I've just started a new diet🌚 Yep, another try. Long story short, I've been on a SB diet for past 3 weeks, but decided to replace it with ABC one. Why? My dad bought scales few days ago, so I'd like to restart with ABC cuz it'd fit just right to finish June and July and start August with sth new👌 Sooo... Here we go ^_^

I'm gonna go on a regular ABC diet

There're some more options btw

ABC Diet: Day 1

CW: 49.1kg (108lbs)

Calories consumed: 495/500

Exercise: stretching - 68

running - 248

dancing - 100

Chloe Ting's abs challenge - 120

Total: -536 calories

Sleep: 0:10am - 7:00am (gotta fix it😴)

In conclusion: wanted to wake up at 6am to go for a run early (running feels much better when there's still some shade and not that much sun and heat☀️☀️), but overslept for an hour👏👏👏 Well, that's not a big deal cuz I found a swing. I'm in love with it👀 Like really, I feel like I could spend a whole day swinging and listening to music.

What else so special about today??..

Ah, I told my parents not to buy too much sweets cuz I feel sick after eating them+I can't stop. Yeah, see what I mean? It's like... We can have hundreds of chocolate bars, cookies, cakes etc., but not a single fruit or berry... I mean, there always will be those tomatoes n I hate them more than myself honestly. They make me want to throw up Idk. So back to my convo with parents. Guess what they said? Dad told me to simply stop eating sweets. But mom... She started laughing like it was the funniest thing she's ever heard and was like:"You better eat like a normal person&eat normal food instead of candies!". Oof I didn't know how to act, so I just went n took a gum to calm down. I thought I was about to cry🙂 I mean, some of my relatives are aware of me "dieting", but luckily, no one knows about my ed.

K gotta finish now. Hope y'all are having a great day and good luck😘❤

#ed stuff #anorekic #anathoughts #tw ed talk #abc diary #disordered eating tw #tw disordered eating

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syubub · 4 years

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I've had a wild few days for ~spiritual shit~

I'm finally gonna answer some asks today and such but I kinda wanted to update you.

Okay. So first things first, my guides have been throwing me through loops left and right lol. I'm not sure how to explain it all but its been... intresting?

A lot of it has just been personal stuff I guess? Like my guides trying to help me finally understand what path is best for me know but then also throwing in all this spiritual shit that I haven't wanted to deal with. So there's that part I guess.

Now onto the fun part. Yoongis energy update pt.2. In that reading I mentioned the Akashic records. My knowledge of how they work is limited. A long while ago I decided to try to read my book to try to help me figure some shit out.... I can't fucking read it. I don't know how to describe it but the whole book is written in text that I can't read. Now. They say that you're supposed to either see it in whatever language you understand or that you'll intuitively know how to read the text.

I can't. But cool, fun thing is that my guide had told me my soul name (I know I sound crazy but its some cool shit). Naturally I was like, "you can read the text so why don't you just read it to me?"

Denied.

Why wouldn't my guide read it to me? Good fucking question. My guide only said that now isn't the time and that I was only ment to have my name.

Blah blah this all ties into yoons book.

So his book is blue and stuff and he didn't let me read it at the time. Being the nosey bitch that I am I went back to find it.

I found it... in an intresting place? That's for another day though.

Anyway, I cracked that sucker open ready to read up on all yoongis dirt and....

I can't fucking read it. Its the same blocky text.

I can't read his soul name or anything else in the book. My guide is an asshole and won't read it to me. (This guide in particular is very... secretive? Like he's here to help me for a specific reason but he feels like such a dad you know? "I'll tell you when you're older" type of shit)

Anyway. I assume this means that I can't read any of the books and I'm sad about it.

There's some other bts related stuff that I'll be doing a specific reading on soon ish? Probably in December

Moving on

I was doing just some daily connection with my guides and shit and I was asking for signs and shit or if they had any info I need to know. Some of it I can't share now but I think it'll be relevant in the future.

Anyway. I was told November 28th, February 2nd and May 13th. (There's that fucking may date again and I was given hints but its not relevant for me to say them at this time)

Now. I just kinda googled some shit to see if there's stuff to pay attention to on these dates

So idk? 333 is important and maybe the dates have to do with bts in particular.

Also look out for triangles. Not in an illuminati way but more bc 3 seems to be important for the next while, maybe bts related maybe nah? My guide said to look for 'em but maybe he was really just telling me to eat Doritos

Long story short: I've been dumped a bunch of info that I now have to sort through and some of it pertains to the collective, some pertains bts and some pertains to my own shit.

Also, y'all, Blue & Grey on BE... I have feelings about it.

#rant

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an-american-whovian · 4 years

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• The Story Thus Far:

This is the one that started it all fer me! The reason I bleed all things Doctor Who -- like my anus bleeds beer shits of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

My Series 2 review of NuWho (just rolls off the tongue).

• Goodbye, My Liveeer -- Goodbye, My Friend:

In all honesty, I don't know how it happened -- one day I came across a fan made Doctor Who video to James Blunt's 'Goodbye My Lover' on YouTube. More specifically, the episodes 'Army of Ghosts'/'Doomsday'.

It had that bit in which he asks, "How long are you going to stay with me?" To which she replies, "Forever." Then to see the whole conclusion with her getting sucked into a parallel universe/the stuff on Badwolf Bay all to that terrible song.

I was sold. (Mostly 'cause I was fresh off a break up, myself.)

• But I'm Getting Ahead of Myself:

As I watched all four minutes and twenty six seconds of that corny ass shit, I recalled Classic Who and asked myself, "Wasn't Doctor Who some big nosed dude with a long scarf and really bad special effects? Who's this hot bitch -- and the blonde!?"

Well, according to the nerds at Brainstorm Comics in Wicker Park, Chicago, it was this long running sci-fi series that had finally made a comeback after a long hiatus.

Then I remembered the TV Movie on Fox. That came and went like another one of their illfated shows, 'M.A.N.T.I.S.' (NO ONE ever remembers that one.) Then I remember as kid watching a different dude play the Doctor. This guy wore beige clothing and hung out with teens.

Total pedo' vibes.

Well, luckily fer me, those nerds at Brainstorm had a rental section and I proceeded to rent series two of NuWho -- 'cause i wanted to see how we got to that conclusion. (Then I proceeded to copy it onto VHS -- as was the fashion at the time.)

It was all downhill from there.

• Controversial Statement Up Ahead:

If a US network ever had the AUDACITY to do Who -- it would pro'ly look like this series (one could kinda say the same about series five, too). Handsome lead; hot companion. Easily to digest science fiction stories and culminating in a two part epic in which the hero fights off giant metallic salt shakers with plungers as they wage war against the British equivalent to the Borg. (Yea, I know -- Cybermen came first. I said it fer comparisons sake, ya nerd.)

Also, anyone remember that episode of 'Community' in which they do an American version of 'Inspector Spacetime'? They're TOTALLY supposed to be Tennant and Piper-esque. (The show would then go ahead and predict that the first female Doctor would go onto suck -- "but not because she's a woman".)

• Onto the Good Shit:

'The Christmas Invasion' is a fun festive romp -- that has the Doctor in it fer about ten minutes. Extra points fer 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' reference. It's, also, where I learned that out there they call baby oranges "satsumas". (Y'all are funny.)

'New Earth' brings back Cassandra from the series one story 'The End of the World' -- along with that giant head with dreads that lead into testicles known as The Face of Boe (love the enigmatic shit with him). The body switching stuff is fun; but how the Doctor saves the day is just plain lame. "Lemme dump all these cures into one giant concoction and bukkake this whole hospital!" *high fives all around!*

'School Reunion' brings back Sara Jane -- and till this day I use her "Everything has its time and everything ends" speech (almost to a fault). It's got Giles from 'Buffy' in it -- so that's dope. Be that as it may, I don't like how the kid takes credit fer blowing up the school at the end. Like, dude, eveyone's gonna think yer a prepubescent psycho.

'Girl in the Fireplace', The Cybermen two parter and 'The Impossible Planet'/The Satan Pit' are all time classics in my book. (Fun Fact: TO THIS DAY I refer to my basement as "The Satan Pit".)

• Controversial Statement Part Deux:

I don't hate 'Love & Monsters'. 😳 Like, I think Elton insinuating at the end that he skull fucks a slab of cement with his girlfriend's face is pretty fucked up and the Abzobaloff looks like it was designed by a child (oh, wait, it was) -- it's still a lot of fun and a different take on a Doctor Who story. (DW is ALWAYS at its best when it takes chances!)

Like, ELO is prominently featured in the episode. How can anyone hate that!?

• All Filler and No Thriller:

'Tooth & Claw' is just too boring to even talk about. I can't even remeber a characters name or which Queen was ruling at the time.

'Fear Her' HAS TO BE one of the worst episodes -- EVER. The less said about it the better.

• Let's Cut This Short -- Like the Doctor Gets Cut Off on Rose:

Series two isn't as great as series one; but it's not too far off. Yea, jokes are gonna be dated like bad CGI werewolves. Deal with it. Have you ever seen 'Warriors of the Deep'!?

It's all worth while fer a balls to the wall finale.

"You would destroy the Cybermen with four Daleks?", asks a Cyberman.

"We would destroy the Cybermen with one Dalek! You are superior in only one respect."

"What is that?"

"YOU ARE BETTER AT DYIIIIIING.", adds the Dalek. *DROPS MIC!*

Finally, don't tell me you dont get all chocked up when Ten tells Rose, "I'm inside the TARDIS. There's one tiny little gap in the universe left, just about to close; and it takes a lot of power to send this projection. I'm in orbit around a supernova.

I'm burning up a sun just to say good bye." 😭

ALL THE STARS AND FRESHLY ROTTEN TOMATOES.

• Epilogue; i.e. Controversial Statement No. 3:

Are Timelords low key pedos!? Like, the Doctor is over 900 years old at this point and Rose is, like, 19 or 20.

Talk about a midlife crisis, bruh.

#doctor who #an american whovian #dw #whovian #review #classic who #the tenth doctor #david tennant #rose tyler #billie piper #series two #series 2 #nuwho #daleks #cybermen #brainstorm comics #chicago #a.r.lopez

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