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saintobio · 4 months

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sincerely yours. (11)

↳ gojou satoru/reader

when a twist of fate led their marriage to the path of a quintessential tragic romance, two past lovers go through another series of experiences on love, heartbreak, identity, illness, and trauma along the road to a happily ever after.

genre. heavy angst, amnesia, modern au, 18+

tags/warnings. depression, cheating, trauma, implied suicide attempt, toxic relationships

notes. 12k wc. we're so close to the finale <3 thanks so much for the continued support and for the patience you guys have with this series :')

series masterlist -> episode twelve

For better and worse.

Weddings are funny things. Despite the strict adherence to ceremonial traditions, they didn’t guarantee a happily ever after. Exchanging vows and the signing of marriage certificates could become meaningless when a couple faces challenges that would drive them apart. Consider the high-profile divorces of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck, or Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise. Divorce had become so common that it almost seemed inevitable for many couples, even the ones with the most fairytale-like relationships. No one was safe from the idea of a divorce. So, was having a wedding really that important? Would it really define the quality and longevity of a relationship?

Satoru might have been thinking bitterly about it, given that his own marriage wasn’t exactly a shining success. However, he was also being rational when he said that weddings weren’t necessary to prove your love for each other. Early in his marriage, he certainly wasn’t the best husband, but over time, he learned to genuinely become a good partner to his ex-wife. There was no specific time frame for loving someone. You could be together for weeks, months, or years, yet the depth of love you share might remain unchanged. This constancy can be either a blessing or a curse, depending on how deep your love was from the beginning.

Well… On the topic of marriages, Satoru had no good thing to say. But that didn’t mean he shouldn’t participate in it. Weddings were still considered a special celebration for families and close friends, and He would be selfish not to share in such a beautiful event with his best friends. Besides, wasn’t it always expected that Suguru and Shoko would end up marrying each other? They were lucky—fortunate because their marriage was built on a foundation of genuine love. In contrast, Satoru’s marriage began out of convenience, which ultimately led to all the terrible things that followed.

As the best man, Satoru strode confidently alongside Suguru down the aisle, both adorned in princely tuxedos, drawing the eyes of the guests as they followed their procession. There were teasing remarks, smiles all around, and even a comment from one of the groom’s female cousins about how handsome they both looked. Despite the gentle commotion, Satoru understood why Suguru remained nervous as they reached the end of the aisle. He comfortingly stood by his side, offered a reassuring pat on the back, silently communicating to his best friend that everything would be alright.

“Don’t tell me you’ll back out now,” Satoru jested, whispering in Suguru’s ear as they observed the guests entering in accordance with the processional order.

Suguru, with his once long hair now neatly trimmed and slicked back, cleared his throat in an attempt to appear less anxious. “What if she gets cold feet?”

Gojou couldn’t help but tease. “Shoko? You really think she’d have cold feet?” he chuckled. “She’d be the one dragging your ass back to this garden if you tried to run away.”

“Fair enough.”

Just the night before, they had checked into the Hoshinoya Fuji to celebrate Suguru's last night of freedom. While there was drinking involved, one of the groomsmen insisted it wouldn’t be a proper bachelor’s party without some female company. So, inevitably, there were women in the hotel room, one of whom even gave Suguru a lap dance even though he showed no interest whatsoever. It was amusing to Satoru, considering his best friend used to be the biggest casanova, and now he was a committed and loyal man who, not only was terrified out of his wits on his wedding day, but was also afraid that the one woman he loved might run away from him.

Such genuine, pure love.

As Satoru pondered, his gaze landed on Akemi, who was seated a couple of rows back among the other guests. She had just arrived, her hair tied elegantly in a low ponytail and her silky sage dress accentuating her womanly figure flawlessly. She was wearing the diamond Tiffany & Co. earrings he had gifted her, which made her stand out among the rest of the people in that garden. Their eyes also met at the perfect moment, her gaze sparkling upon seeing Satoru in his tuxedo. He offered her a smile, one that silently conveyed ‘I’ll be there with you later,’ and she immediately understood.

How fortunate was Satoru to have her? Perhaps the reason for her late appearance was because she had been looking after Sachiro back home, fulfilling the duties that his ex-wife should have been doing. She was truly a mother who stepped up, especially during a time when both he and his son felt most abandoned.

And what about you? Who knew if you would even attend the wedding? You were meant to be Ieiri’s maid-of-honor, yet you were conspicuously absent. Perhaps you were still in Monaco, enjoying your time playing house with Toji, making a wedding like this seem insignificant to you. You would have informed Miwa in advance and picked up Sachiro if you had returned to Tokyo, right? Suguru also hadn’t mentioned anything about your arrival at the accommodation, hinting that someone else would have to step in as Shoko's maid-of-honor.

But who would it be? Shoko’s cousin? One of her other female co-workers? Her high school friend?

“Look, mom! She’s beautiful~”

Satoru was rendered speechless, utterly captivated by the sight before him. His fingers tingled with anticipation, his heart raced in his chest, his feet felt rooted to the ground, and his eyes remained fixed on the next lady gracefully making her way down the aisle. He couldn’t quite pinpoint what struck him the most: was it the sight of you in a stunning light green dress, resembling an angel descended from the heavens, or was it the haunting reminder of his own wedding day, when you walked down the same aisle as his most beautiful bride?

His breath caught in his throat, his chest tightening with each step you took down the aisle. Satoru felt like a statue, frozen in place, unable to tear his gaze away from you. You had become the sole focus of his attention, the rest of the world fading into a blur around him. He couldn’t comprehend it. Why was it so effortless for him to let his guard down around you?

This woman, he thought. This woman is Sachiro’s mother. This was the same woman that carried his flesh and blood for nine months, now appearing as radiant as a freshly bloomed flower, as if untouched by the stresses of unexpected motherhood. What had transpired in Monaco to transform you into this vision of beauty?

“You’re drooling.” Suguru nudged him on the chest. “This isn’t your wedding. You had your chance.”

Yes, he was well aware. This wasn’t his wedding, and he needed to maintain composure. Yet, it felt as though he was being drawn inexorably towards the mesmerizing goddess before him. With each beat of his heart quickening, he struggled to remind himself: No, Satoru. She's nothing to you now.

And because he was lost in a trance, he remained oblivious to the bride’s entrance and even Suguru’s emotional reaction to seeing his bride. His attention was solely fixated on you as he stole glances your way whenever he could. It wasn’t until the exchanging of rings, when you two had to stand side by side to assist the bride and groom, that he snapped back to reality. With you so close yet seemingly distant, Satoru felt a pang of disappointment as you never returned his gaze. The whispers and side comments from the guests also added to his discomfort, making him acutely aware of the scrutiny placed upon the best man and maid-of-honor.

“Aren’t they divorced?”

“Yeah, their marriage was a wreck.”

“They’re bad luck. I hope they don’t pass it onto the couple.”

For the first time in a long time, Satoru was gripped by an unprecedented desire to retort, to refute the misconceptions surrounding his marriage. Yet, he knew it was futile. Engaging in a verbal sparring match with another guest would only ruin his best friends' special day. Moreover, he might risk causing unintentional hurt to Akemi by defending a marriage that had long ceased to exist. So, despite the internal turmoil, he remained silent, allowing the whispers to persist unchecked.

And, with that, the wedding ceremony ended. Shoko and Suguru were now declared husband and wife.

— —

The reception was a time for socializing, enjoying drinks and hors d’oeuvres, and congratulating the newlyweds. For Suguru and Shoko, this part of the celebration felt effortless and their energies were seamlessly complementing each other’s. Unlike arranged marriages, there was no sense of haste or coercion; theirs was a union born of genuine affection. You couldn’t help but feel foolish for ever entertaining the notion that this was merely a conventional wedding experience. Here, before your eyes, unfolded a true celebration of love between two people.

Did Satoru share the same sentiments? You wondered what thoughts raced through his mind during the proceedings. Did the event trigger memories of his own past, or stir feelings of longing for what could have been?

You refused to subject yourself to the torment of dwelling on your past. If anything, your time living alone in Monaco had been a crucial step in your healing journey. While the process was far from complete, that solitary retreat had provided a much-needed respite from the source of your stress. It afforded you the opportunity to contemplate the life you were destined to lead, albeit alone for the foreseeable future.

By allowing Sachiro to spend more time with his father, you not only facilitated the rebuilding of their fractured relationship, but also acclimated your child to your absence. It was a necessary adjustment, one that would prepare him for the reality of your impending solitary existence. At least, Sachiro had a chance to live in a loving household with Satoru and Akemi, instead of a miserable and lonely way of living together with you.

In the end, it was all for your child.

As for the potential emotional minefield of attending this wedding, you were there for Shoko, who had always been a steadfast and understanding presence in your life. Her genuine friendship meant more to you than mere familial bonds ever could. Even at the risk of stirring up unhealthy emotions by being in a room full of people who hurt you, you couldn’t bear to disappoint Ieiri.

Admittedly though, navigating the wedding crowd was a delicate balance of warmth and formality. Ieiri’s side of the family, who were doctors heavily acquainted with your family, greeted you with genuine warmth. While Suguru’s relatives, who were more closely tied to the Gojou family, maintained a polite distance. Although there were occasional moments of discomfort, you knew how to maintain composure throughout.

As for Toji’s absence, while a part of you wished he could have been there as a supportive presence, you also recognized the value in learning to handle situations involving your ex-husband independently. He had an unavoidable business trip, but that also provided an opportunity for you to stop relying on him and navigate such occasions like these on your own. He was nothing more than a friend now.

While that ex-husband, Satoru, was here with your best friend. It didn’t surprise you that he had brought Akemi as a plus one. In fact, you had expected it to happen. It just wasn’t the best feeling to be the maid-of-honor when the best man clearly had another lady for it in mind.

It was quite amusing, too. Not once had Akemi approached you during the reception. You understood that she wanted to keep her distance, but you found it disrespectful that she was ignoring your existence. Was she scared to talk to you? Scared of what you had to say? You had heard over a million hurtful things from other people, yet she was afraid to hear a few pieces of advice from you?

Forget it. Forget her and Satoru. Focus on the reception, Y/N.

But really, how could you? As the moment arrived for the newlyweds’ first dance, tradition dictated that the best man and maid-of-honor should also take to the floor. You sensed the tension in the air as Satoru hesitated, surrounded by urging groomsmen, deciding whether or not he should ask you for a dance. He looked like he was battling with what was right and wrong in his mind, yet ultimately he chose to pass by you, extending his hand to Akemi instead.

It wasn’t feelings of shame that slapped you to reality. It was seeing Satoru holding Akemi’s hand, another on her waist, as they slowly danced to Can’t Help Falling In Love, a song that was played on your wedding day.

Take my hand

Take my whole life too

Oh, for I can’t help

Falling in love with you

It shouldn’t hurt anymore. You were doing better. You were doing so good, you were doing… you were okay. You should be okay. Or did you overestimate your emotions a little too much? Because this, seeing the man you loved with all your heart holding another woman in his arms, was tortuous to your soul. You could feel the pains of your past tugging at your heart, wondering why he never danced like that with you on your wedding day? Why he never stared at you like you were the most beautiful girl in the world, why he never showed you off in a room full of curious people, why he never respected you enough to treat you with such… with such love.

“Everything okay?”

You didn’t expect Nanami, out of all people, to be offering you a handkerchief. You hadn’t even realized that your eyes were already pooling of the tears if he had not cut you out of trance, offering a comforting and sympathetic smile. You had to blink multiple times just to push your tears back in.

“Yeah,” you answered with a grateful expression. I’m strong. I’ll be fine. “Thank you.”

Nanami took that as a sign to offer his hand. “Care for a dance, then?”

Wiping your eyes, you nodded, smiling at the man. “Why not?”

After the dance, the reception continued as follows. The cake cutting, the dinner service, then the toasts and speeches. If it wasn’t for Nanami, you wouldn’t have been able to pick yourself back up after the humiliation of seeing Satoru and Akemi dancing together. You just needed a decent amount of air to breathe and gather yourself together again. It was a nice help from someone who wasn’t a personal acquaintance of yours, that despite being Satoru’s right hand man in the company, Nanami still had some kindness in him that you would forever be thankful for.

And when it was time for you to do your speech as the MOH, you didn’t let a single vulnerable emotion slip out of you. For that short moment, you tried not to think about who was in the audience, about what they thought of you, and about what other preconceived notions they had of you. You focused on the newlyweds as you stood in front of the mic stand, eye-to-eye with Shoko and Suguru, who were holding each other’s hands.

“Shoko,” you began, smiling genuinely at the couple, “Through the laughter and tears, you’ve been my constant, my confidante, my rock. And today, as I watch you embark on this new chapter of your life, I’m honestly a bit overwhelmed with emotion.”

The bride returned your smile, and you can tell Shoko was holding back tears of her own as she glanced between you and Satoru.

You continued your speech, observing Suguru’s supportive gesture towards his wife as you spoke. “Shoko, I recall our late-night conversations, the tears shed over broken marriages, and the pain of shattered relationships. Yet, through it all, you’ve remained steadfast in your belief in love, in hope, in the possibility of a happily ever after.” Turning to Suguru, although he still had that lingering discomfort around you, you offered him nothing but heartfelt words. “As I look at you and Suguru, I’m reminded that true love exists—a love that is patient, kind, and enduring. My wish for you both is a lifetime filled with laughter, joy, and unwavering support for each other. May you cherish each other’s hearts, protect each other’s dreams, and weather life’s storms together, stronger in your love. Suguru, during your challenging days as a married couple, I pray that you always look at Shoko and remember why you love her. I pray that you will always have the capacity to cherish and respect her as your wife and the future mother of your children. May you keep her in your heart, no matter what challenges may come your way.”

As tears welled in Ieiri’s eyes, your voice faltered, the magnitude of your wishes for their marriage weighing heavily on your own unfulfilled desires. You weren’t trying to make this about you, and you hoped they thought that, too.

“As I raise my glass to toast this beautiful union,” you said, raising the champagne glass on your hand, “I do so with a heart full of love and a silent prayer—that your love story will be one of triumph, of healing, and of endless happiness. Congratulations, Shoko and Suguru!”

— —

Satoru was deeply affected by your speech. Both in good and bad ways. On one hand, he was touched by the sincerity of your words and the genuine wishes you extended to the newlywed couple. On the other hand, he couldn’t shake off the pang of guilt and remorse that accompanied your words, knowing all too well the history behind them. When you expressed your hopes for Suguru to always cherish and respect Shoko, Satoru couldn’t help but reflect on his own behavior during your marriage and the ways in which he may have fallen short.

Each action he did definitely had a lasting impact on you.

But what about the good ones? Had you forgotten about the times he treated you well? Had you forgotten the lengths he took just to prove to you that he was a changed man? That at one point in his life, he would do everything in him just to show you how much he loved you?

It was unfair. Why did you only ever look at the bad things he did and never the good ones? Why did you still see him as a villain in your marriage when he knew he had paid his dues after he lost you?

It was truly, honestly unfair, that you get to be happy with Toji, but he ought to feel guilty for being with Akemi.

“I think they’re about to do the bouquet and garter toss,” spoke Akemi, tugging at Satoru’s arm while they sat on their designated table. She held a napkin on her other hand to wipe her partner’s chin, smiling in excitement. “You should go and join.”

Where were you? After your speech, Satoru couldn’t seem to find you anymore. Where had you gone off to? Did you leave already?

“Y-Yeah,” Satoru answered, looking around the venue before turning to Akemi. “What about you? Won’t you join the bouquet toss thing?”

She shook her head, hesitantly. “Isn’t it only for bridesmaids?”

He grabbed her hand and urged her up. “No, it’s for all unmarried female guests. Come on.”

The reason Satoru dragged her along was because Akemi loved weddings, and she especially enjoyed the traditions that came with it. She herself once dreamt about the picture perfect wedding, but never got to fully have her own, so attending such occasions made up for the lack of personally experiencing it.

Gojou couldn’t exactly remember if he did the garter toss in his own wedding. If so, who had caught it? Who had caught your bouquet? His eyes swept across the entire venue once more, searching for your familiar figure among the guests. He was too occupied to realize that Shoko had already tossed her bouquet, and the frenzy of eager ladies ensued until it landed in Akemi’s hands.

He genuinely felt happy for Akemi. The joy in her eyes upon catching Shoko’s bouquet was unmistakable. Yet, as the playful teasing about a potential wedding for him shifted in his direction, Satoru couldn’t help but feel a twinge of pressure. It wasn’t supposed to weigh on him like this. It was too soon to have that expectation of him.

“Looks like someone’s getting married next!”

And while he was feeling suffocated from the pressure placed upon him, the receiver of the tossed garter happened to have been Nanami.

Immediately, the teasing ensued, with the other guests urging Nanami to wear the garter on Akemi’s leg. Out of respect, Nanami looked at Gojou for permission, but honestly? He was just grateful he didn’t have to do all that and be pressured about another wedding that he had not yet thought about. Fuck it, thank God Nanami had caught the garter because Satoru was sure as hell starting to feel uneasy there.

“Go for it,” was the only thing Satoru said to Nanami, gesturing his chin at Akemi’s direction.

While everyone was focused on the situation between Nanami and Akemi, Satoru took that opportunity to escape from the crowd and find his peace at the balcony. He hastily made his way out of the reception hall, feeling a sense of relief as he could finally breathe.

And there you were, standing alone, lost in contemplation, and your gaze fixed upon the tranquil expanse of the lakeside. The chill breeze caressed your hair softly, as if mirroring the calm that enveloped your countenance. In another universe, this would have been an opportune moment to hug you from behind, sharing the warmth of his embrace around your figure. But he was living in a universe where you and him weren’t meant to be together.

In fact, you were probably thinking about another man as you stared at the lake, hoping that he was there with you.

“Did you have fun in Monaco with Toji?” Satoru was crazy for going straight to the point, and he knew it was a blunt inquiry, bordering on intrusive, but it tumbled out nonetheless, revealing the thoughts that had been plaguing in his mind. His words spilled out before he could rein them in, a question born of curiosity and perhaps a touch of jealousy.

As for you, with your peace in the balcony now ruined, you briefly opened your mouth to respond, but held back against it as you met Gojou’s eyes with a distant stare. You were even quick to look away and sigh, like he was not worth the conversation. You had not spoken a word to him since the wedding ceremony and you were definitely going to keep doing it.

And man, did that hurt his ego.

So, for a very stupid reason, he felt the need to hurt yours in return. “Do you know Sachi calls Akemi ‘mama’ in his sleep?”

Your eyes remained empty. “Good for you, then. You won’t have a hard time getting him accustomed to it.”

“Y/N.” Satoru’s voice came out as a warning, and he was about to start an argument on why you were abandoning him and Sachi over Toji, but he was interrupted at the appearance of Akemi carrying Shoko’s bouquet as she tried to search for her lover. This meant that the conversation with the ex-wife was over.

But as he glanced between you and Akemi, his bitter past and his sweet present, why did Satoru’s heart still lingered with you when it shouldn’t?

“You should go,” you briefly muttered, walking in the opposite direction, “Your future wife’s looking for you.”

Satoru’s sudden grip on your wrist halted your steps abruptly. His voice carried a bitter edge as he reminded you of the agreement you had made. “Y/N, we agreed to co-parent Sachiro properly. Why are you choosing Toji over your own son?”

The accusation left a tense atmosphere, eliciting a sharp response from you as you yanked your hand away, a flash of anger igniting in your eyes. “You have no idea what you're talking about, Satoru.”

— —

“Welcome to Hoshinoya Fuji, Ms. L/N!”

You stepped out of the car, taking in the serene beauty of the lakeside cabin that would be your sanctuary for the next three days and two nights. Nestled among towering pines and sturdy oaks, the cabin exuded a rustic charm that blended seamlessly with the natural landscape. Its weathered wooden exterior, adorned with a green tin roof, seemed to have grown organically from the earth itself.

The cabin sat on a gentle slope that led directly to the water’s edge. A wooden deck wrapped around the front, offering a perfect vantage point for gazing out over the tranquil lake. Your room also had the best view of Mount Fuji, which you thought was the highlight of this luxurious accommodation.

After the newlywed send-off, you were quickly ushered in by Shoko and Suguru’s staff, who were in charge of attending to the special guests staying a few extra days at the cabin. Though the couple wouldn’t start their proper honeymoon until their 6-month long cruise trip in two weeks, they wanted their guests to enjoy the accommodations they had arranged. You were relieved to hear that, despite Satoru and Akemi also being among the friends staying, each guest had their own private cabin reserved.

The thing was, you could leave any time if you wanted to. Shoko also reassured you that it would be okay and that she would understand if you wanted to go home right away. She knew that the situation may be uncomfortable for you, and that she felt bad you even had to deal with it during the ceremony, but you made a promise to her. You were her maid-of-honor for a reason, and part of your duty was to help with the post-ceremony tasks to ensure that Shoko can focus on enjoying her pre and post-wedding activities.

So, in some ways, you felt obliged to stay. You didn’t need to interact much with others during your stay, anyway. You were content staying in your room, perhaps taking some occasional walks outside. Satoru could do whatever he wanted with Akemi; you were determined to avoid crossing their paths.

Besides, inside the cabin was a cozy retreat. The main living area featured large windows that framed the picturesque view, allowing moonlight to spill in and illuminate the space. A stone fireplace, complete with a rustic mantel adorned with pinecones and candles, stood as the centerpiece of the room. Plush armchairs and a worn leather sofa invited relaxation, while a handwoven rug added a touch of warmth and color.

As you moved towards the bedroom, you found a comfortable queen-sized bed covered in a soft, plaid quilt. The scent of pine mingled with the faint aroma of fresh linens, creating an atmosphere of peaceful haven. An old-fashioned dresser and a bedside table, topped with a simple lamp, completed the room. The windows here, too, offered a glimpse of the sparkling lake, ensuring that the beauty of nature would greet you each morning.

Stepping outside, you walked down a short path to the water’s edge, where a small wooden dock extended into the lake. A pair of Adirondack chairs sat invitingly at the end of the dock, perfect for soaking in the sunset or stargazing at night. Nearby, a fire pit surrounded by stones and logs as seating promised cozy evenings under the stars, with the gentle sound of lapping water providing a soothing backdrop.

On your first night there, you ended up falling asleep right away. The physical and emotional exhaustion, combined with jetlag, knocked you out. However, the next day promised a few tasks to complete the post-wedding cleanup.

The second night, however, was a different story.

When you returned to the cabin, the cool evening air was crisp against your skin. The temperature went down a couple of celsius compared to yesterday, so as you walked down the path toward the lakeside, you were drawn to the flickering glow of a fire pit illuminating the area near the water’s edge. Drawing closer, the soft sounds of laughter and conversation reached your ears, mingling with the gentle crackle of burning logs.

The fire pit was surrounded by a group, their faces lit by the warm, golden light of the flames. They sat on a circle of logs and foldable chairs, leaning in to feel the comforting heat. Some held mugs of steaming cocoa, while others toasted marshmallows on long sticks, their tips glowing bright orange before transforming into gooey, sugary treats.

You paused for a moment and took in the scene. Was it a safe space for you to be in? You noticed familiar faces among the group—some of the couple’s old friends from the wedding, now relaxed and enjoying the peaceful night. One of the guests strummed a guitar softly, the melody adding to the cozy, inviting atmosphere. Another guest told a story, their animated expressions and gestures causing bursts of laughter from the listeners.

There was no sight of Satoru and Akemi. Perhaps, it might be okay to join in.

As you approached, Suguru emerged from a nearby cabin, smiling in a way that felt unusual. Why was he being friendly all of a sudden? Last time you checked, he still held a grudge against you. But now, he showed no signs of antagonism, and was even approaching you with his usual friendly demeanor.

“Y/N,” he said, the fog of his breath visible in the cold air, “I never got to thank you properly for helping us with everything here. I didn’t think you’d make it last minute.”

You wrapped your shawl tighter around yourself to ward off the chill. “It’s no trouble. I’m glad to help out and be here for you guys,” you replied warmly. And while glancing around, you noticed the absence of Shoko. “Where’s the missus?”

Suguru’s smile took on a mischievous edge. “Sleeping. She’s still pretty tired and…”

You interrupted him with a laugh, catching onto his suggestive tone. “Alright, you two. You’re wild.”

His grin softened into a sincere expression. “No, seriously. I never got to properly thank you. I never got to apologize to you either.” Suguru looked down with guilt. “I’m sorry for being an asshole to you. I was focusing too much on Satoru’s point-of-view, dismissing how it must be like to be in your position amidst all that mess. Shoko helped me understand why you made certain decisions, why you had no other option. She helped me see things from your perspective, to realize the extent of your suffering. We all knew that, I guess. We all knew you were constantly dealt a bad hand, yet you remain kind and resilient. You continue to show empathy to others, even when the world hasn’t been fair to you.”

In the ensuing silence, your heart seemed to thunder in your chest. His words carried weight far beyond what he might have intended, and you genuinely appreciated his apology. Even if he didn’t need to say them.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is, you’re a gem, Y/N.” Suguru gave your back a gentle pat. “You deserve to be happy in your own special way. And just like how you wished us well with our marriage, I hope you’ll find your own path to a happy marriage, too.”

“Thank you,” you mumbled, looking down with a forlorn smile.

“We’re here for you, okay?” he offered, “Shoko and I. You can count on us if you need us, if you need help with Sachiro, if you need help with life in general.”

“I appreciate it, really.”

And by then, he cleared his throat, opening up a topic that caught you off guard. You didn’t expect it from Suguru out of all people. “Y/N, I know why you were in Monaco.”

Of course. He’d know it from Shoko.

“I also know,” he continued, dark narrow eyes staring straight at yours, “why you left Sachiro with his father.”

You were a deer caught in the headlights. You wouldn’t say it felt invasive to have someone be aware of the reasoning behind your personal decisions, but it was just an altogether different feeling to know that it was your ex-husband’s best friend who knew.

“Why didn’t you tell him?” he asked, referring to Satoru, “That you broke up with Toji?”

You took a deep breath. “I don’t see the point of telling him.”

“What if I were to tell you that he’d come running desperately to you the moment he finds out?” he posed another burning question. “You still love him, right? You and him would likely get together without much difficulty if he were aware. So, why hesitate?”

“Because I don’t want that,” you answered, feeling words caught in your throat in a moment of vulnerability. “Because I’m scared to get back with him. Because he has Akemi now. Because I don’t wanna keep ruining the lives of the people around me. We’re better off this way, Suguru. I don’t want to mess up the second time around, and I definitely don’t think Satoru would be able to fully move on with his life with me still in the picture. He seems to be happy with Akemi already.”

Suguru smiled sadly. “You don’t even wanna get your revenge? Don’t wanna get back at your best friend for dating your ex?” he paused to correct himself, “Well, dating is the wrong term. Satoru insists they’re not exclusive, you know?”

You shook your head, sighing. Satoru, you haven’t changed. “It doesn’t matter. I’m fine with the way things are.”

He was on the verge of continuing, poised to persuade further, but the arrival of the very individuals in question brought an abrupt halt to his words. Descending the cabin steps was Shoko, trailed by Satoru, who, in a gesture of warmth, had draped his jacket around Akemi, with his arms encircling her.

All five of you found yourselves in an awkward situation, now faced with two couples, one of which was at the core of your distress. The tension was palpable, and it didn’t help that Satoru’s vivid blue eyes met yours, seemingly trying to decode the conversation between you and Suguru. That was none of his business. He could continue his affectionate display with Akemi, while you had other matters to attend to than be part of an awkward quintet.

“I should go,” you declared, avoiding eye contact with everyone, unwilling to play the fifth wheel. You were hoping to evade Satoru and Akemi’s presence, but both Shoko and Suguru already caught your arm.

“Y/N, please,” Shoko urged, her arm reaching out to you. “Don't isolate yourself tonight. Come join us.”

The memory of Bora Bora flooded your mind, a painful reminder of a similar situation when Shoko had extended the same invitation, leading to the discomfort of witnessing Sera’s closeness with Satoru. You knew that wasn’t Shoko’s intention, but it was your ex-husband who couldn’t stop catching himself in these situations.

This was a bad idea. You knew that.

So, why did you agree?

Despite your reservations, curiosity got the best of you. You would vehemently deny it if asked, but deep down, you pondered whether Suguru’s words held any truth about Satoru’s lingering feelings for you. It wasn’t out of pettiness, but rather a desire to confirm if Satoru was truly committed to Akemi. You knew this could potentially hurt you, but after enduring so much pain, you couldn’t imagine anything worse.

“Hey, you guys!”

“It’s nice of you to join us!”

“What’s up newlyweds?”

Upon joining the group at the fireplace, you were partly grateful that you weren’t exactly a fifth wheel in the situation. There were about ten or twelve people in total, with the earlier group still remaining in their seats. It just so happened that you were seated right across your ex-husband, who was too busy trying to keep Akemi warm and cozy.

“So, Y/N…” spoke a man from the group, who appeared to be Suguru’s colleague. “Are you single?”

The unexpected question caught you off guard, especially the tension it seemed to create, particularly with Satoru who sat stiffly next to Akemi. Even Shoko and Suguru seemed apologetic for their friend’s behavior, but you brushed it off, recognizing that he had probably indulged a bit too much with beer. He was harmless enough when sober.

“Don’t be asking questions like that,” Suguru intervened, tapping the back of his friend’s head in a playful scold. “That’s rude.”

The friend protested, still oblivious to the discomfort he had caused. “I was just asking! She’s attractive. I have the right to know.”

You forced a smile, accepting the can of beer he had offered. “Thanks, but I—”

“Even if she’s single, she’s not interested in you,” Shoko chimed in, keeping a casual mien. She had to keep things cool, especially with an explosive Gojou around. You were just thankful that she didn’t exactly reveal the status of your relationship with Toji, and that she was doing her best to divert the attention away from you.

In this little scene, you caught a glimpse of Akemi tugging at Satoru’s arm, like she was uncomfortable with the conversation. Why? Did it trigger an insecurity within her? She couldn’t even return eye-contact, constantly avoiding your eyes and reacting to any conversation remotely related to you. But Satoru was there acting like a concerned boyfriend, whispering reassurance into her ear, and rubbing her knee in a comforting fashion.

“You two make a lovely couple,” remarked one of the girls, directing her compliment to Satoru and Akemi.“Weren’t you the girl who caught the bouquet? Looks like there might be another wedding on the horizon.”

“Oooh!”

“They’re an attractive couple, too.”

“You guys planning for any children?”

Just like Bora Bora. A bitter smile lingered on your face, but you decided not to look at Satoru anymore. He must be enjoying this.

Shoko leaned in and placed an arm around you to whisper her apologies. “I’m sorry, Y/N. This was a bad idea.”

“It’s okay,” you assured, not wanting to ruin the moment. “I’ll leave after I finish my beer so it won’t be awkward.”

As the night wore on, conversation flowed easily at first, with everyone exchanging stories and laughter, and eventually more beers and liquor were passed around. Shoko and Suguru were lost in the glow of newlywed bliss, while you found yourself increasingly uneasy as memories of the past mingled with the present.

Satoru’s presence beside Akemi was a constant reminder of your failed marriage, and you struggled to suppress the weakness in your chest that threatened to surface. They held hands and watched the fire together, her head resting on his shoulder, his lips on top of her head. She was trying to voice out a specific concern to him, and he was sweetly listening to her. Did they even realize the ex-wife was in the same area with them? It was insensitive. You never knew Satoru could be this insensitive around you, no matter what his reasons were, his romantic gestures towards her was a clear slap to your face. And he succeeded, because you would be foolish not to admit that it broke your heart in half to witness him choosing another woman over you.

Again, Satoru. Here we go again. You tried to stop the pounding on your chest. Here we fucking are the second time around.

Desperate to ease the tension, Shoko and Suguru attempted to steer the conversation toward lighter topics, but their efforts only served to highlight the underlying tension in the air. You forced a smile and nodded along with the conversation, but inside, your heart was heavy with unresolved emotions.

And then someone had to bring up that stupid truth or dare game.

“Satoru-kun, I dare you to kiss the prettiest woman in this group.”

“Whoo! Do it! Do it! Do it!”

Satoru was initially hesitant as he clearly found himself at a crossroads. He had two options here. Should he risk hurting Akemi by refusing to kiss her? Or should he risk hurting you by kissing another woman in front of you?

The clear winner was Akemi, because as soon as Gojou pressed his lips onto hers, you were already walking out of there. You had already excused yourself from the group, your footsteps as heavy as your heart. And unbeknownst to you, Satoru watched you go with a flicker of remorse in his eyes, but it was too late for apologies or second chances. The fire continued to crackle and pop as you left, its flames casting long shadows across the empty space where you had sat.

It was game over. Satoru had won his game.

— —

Satoru was puzzled by your behavior since the wedding. You seemed determined to avoid him, which made sense with Akemi constantly by his side, but there was also an air of desperation to your avoidance. What baffled him even more was the jealousy you exhibited, as if you weren’t involved with another man, to the point where you even flew to another country just to spend more time with him.

Like you said, you two were no longer married. It was about time you moved on. Yet, how come you were acting heartbroken over seeing Satoru with another woman?

Did you really think leaving the fire pit so abruptly had gone unnoticed?

Did you really think he had taken his eyes off you?

If not for Akemi telling him that she was having pelvic cramps, Gojou would have run off to follow you the minute you left the fire pit. Clearly, you still had an issue seeing him with another girl and he wanted you to voice it out. But if there was anything he learned during your time together, you would never be the first one to admit that you were jealous. Heck, didn’t you even allow him to bring Sera to Bora Bora that one time?

Look, he didn’t want to hurt you all over again. And if you had walked up to him and called him an asshole for having Akemi around, he would even agree with you. But it was your decision to choose Toji, it was your request for Satoru to find someone else, so why did it seem like you were suddenly changing your mind?

“I’m sorry for being a party pooper,” Akemi groaned in discomfort as Gojou helped her back to their cabin. He quickly refocused on their conversation, reminding himself not to dwell on thoughts of you when Akemi needed his attention—it wouldn’t be fair to her. She was suffering from a terrible illness that he wouldn’t wish upon anyone and he had to be her rock. “It’s been hurting quite a bit lately. I really should start with my treatment.”

Once inside their room, he swiftly settled her into bed. “Where does it hurt?” He applied a gentle touch to her pelvic bone, massaging the area to alleviate her discomfort. “Here?”

“Mhm. Thank you,” she lightly spoke, her soft hand caressing his cheek. “I’ll be fine.”

“You look really pale, though. I’m worried,” he remarked, sympathizing with her. Her complexion betrayed the pain she was holding back, though she likely hesitated to admit she wanted to go home and rest. “Do you wanna go home? Even if it’s in the middle of the night, I can have my driver pick us up.”

She shook her head quickly. “No, no. Please, I'll be fine. You won't get to see Shoko and Suguru for a while once they’re on their honeymoon, so I want you to spend time with them here.”

“You sure? But you always come first.”

“I’ll be okay.”

As Satoru continued to massage the area where Akemi felt pain, his thoughts inevitably drifted to you. He recalled the time when you were pregnant with Sachiro, experiencing frequent lower abdominal pain as your body adjusted to the baby. Each night, Satoru stayed up, gently rubbing your belly until you drifted off to sleep. It was one of his happiest memories during your marriage—the domestic bliss of being your husband and the memory of him caring for his wife. He wasn’t sure if he was missing it, or if he was just recalling a past memory, but looking at Akemi, Satoru wondered if he was prepared to have all that again but with another woman.

He couldn’t give himself an answer.

“I’m such a terrible person.”

He should be telling himself that, but it was Akemi who said those words out loud as her brown doe-eyes stared at him solemnly, an expression that reflected guilt and remorse in equal measure.

“How come?” Satoru’s voice was barely above a whisper as he asked, gently tucking the sheets around her while perching on the edge of the bed.

Her smile held a touch of sorrow, yet there was a glimmer of relief in her eyes. “I feel like I’ve failed Y/N. She treated me like family, like a sister, and now I can’t even face her properly. I’m just terrified, you know? I don’t want to keep letting her down. I never meant to cause her pain.”

For a moment, Gojou fell silent at her admission. “It’s all my fault. You two never would have been in this position if it wasn’t for me.”

“Absolutely not,” Akemi persisted before leaning in to plant a tender kiss on his cheek. “Tonight, you’ve shown me that you’ve truly moved on from her. I was starting to worry, afraid that I could never fill the space she held in your heart. But since the wedding, you’ve never sidelined me or made me feel like an afterthought. You’ve never made me feel like second best. You’ve always prioritized me. I understand it’s hard seeing your ex-wife, but I appreciate your efforts more than you know. You make me feel incredibly special.”

Satoru swallowed hard. The mention of your name sent a pang of guilt coursing through his chest. He knew he had hurt Akemi with his lingering attachment to his past and his inability to fully let go of the woman who had once held his heart in her hands. He wanted to agree with Akemi, to reassure her that he had chosen her, but the truth remained elusive, buried beneath layers of denial and self-deception. He even had to close his eyes for a minute, unable to meet her gaze as a tumult of conflicting emotions swirled within him. He wanted to tell her the truth, to confess the depth of his feelings for his ex-wife, but the words were caught in his throat.

In that moment, Satoru felt more lost and alone than ever before, trapped in a web of his own making, and unable to confront the truth behind his true feelings. Moved on? Had he truly moved on from you, or had he simply buried his feelings beneath a facade of indifference?

“You should rest your eyes,” was the only thing he could tell her, planting a kiss on her forehead before he had turned off the lights.

With the clock ticking past 11 o’clock and their recent conversation still echoing in his mind, Satoru felt an urgent need for clarity. He knew he had to confront his thoughts alone. So, without disturbing Akemi’s peaceful slumber, he quietly slipped out of the cabin, seeking solace in the night air. Immediately, as he got out, he was met with the apologetic eyes of his best friend.

“Hey,” Satoru greeted, confused by the urgency in Suguru’s expression. “What’s up?”

Suguru took a deep breath before he rubbed the back of his head. “There’s something I ought to tell you.”

— —

You had been standing at the edge of the lake for a while now, the cool night air sending shivers down your spine as you gazed out at the shimmering expanse of water before you. The moon hung low in the sky, casting a silvery glow over the tranquil scene, its soft light dancing on the surface of the lake like a thousand tiny stars.

The temptation to dive into the dark waters below tugged at your heart like a siren’s song, beckoning you to leave behind the pain and sorrow that had plagued you for so long. You longed to feel the icy embrace of the lake envelop you, to lose yourself in its depths and wash away the memories that haunted you every waking moment.

Is this how it feels like to finally let go?

As you stood on the shore, your toes just inches from the water’s edge, a wave of despair then washed over you, threatening to pull you under like the undertow of a riptide. You thought of Sachiro, your sweet, innocent son, asleep in his bed back in Tokyo, his laughter and smiles serving as an antidote to the pain in your heart.

And then him…

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you thought of Satoru. Despite the pain he had caused you, it was impossible not to yearn for him still, because his memory was a ghost that haunted you in every waking moment. But you knew that you couldn’t continue to live in the shadow of your past marriage. You had to escape being trapped in a cycle of longing and regret. You owed it to Sachiro to be strong, to find the courage to let go of the man who had once been your everything.

With your empty gaze, the calm lake shimmered in the moonlight like a blanket of liquid silver. You had come to the lake seeking solace, seeking escape from the unbearable pain that gnawed at your heart like a relentless tide. But as tears left your eyes, your emotions threatened to drown you in a sea of despair.

Without hesitation, you dropped your shawl to the side, shedding yourself off of the cloth with a sense of reckless abandon. The fright of swimming in open water, especially at night, could have you passed out in a matter of seconds, but you paid it no mind as you waded into the water.

Is this how it feels to finally give up?

The lake embraced you like an old friend, enfolding you in its cool embrace as you swam out into the darkness. Each stroke brought you closer to the center of the lake, closer to the heart of your pain, and yet you felt strangely at peace, as if the water itself held the key to your salvation. You took time floating on your back, staring up at the stars that glittered like diamonds in the night sky, you felt a sense of clarity wash over you. You knew that your love for Satoru was a burden you could no longer bear.

But more than that, you knew that you couldn’t let your own pain dictate the course of your son’s life. Sachiro deserved better than a mother consumed by sorrow, better than a life overshadowed by the ghosts of the past.

With a deep breath, you let go of the pain that had held you captive for so long. You submerged yourself into the depths of the lake, watching as the night sky vanished beneath the surface like a wisp of smoke in the wind.

In that moment, you felt a sense of freedom unlike anything you had ever known. You just had to stay still. You had to keep yourself underwater, hold your breath until you no longer needed it, and…

And…

You struggled to breathe, your mind consumed in panic telling you that you would die if you had kept yourself submerged for another minute, but you were adamant on staying there. You fought battles in your own mind, despite your body fighting back to keep you alive.

At least soon, you would finally meet your mom again.

“...”

“......”

“....Y/N!”

“.......Y/N!”

Feeling your vision blur and your limbs growing limp, you surrendered to the natural sway of the water. Bubbles escaped from your nose, your mouth tightly sealed shut. And the next thing you knew, you were back on the water surface, drawing breath like a fish out of the water. You could feel someone tugging at your arm, could feel the presence of another person dragging you out of the water, his arms pulling you into an embrace.

“Y/N! What the hell are you thinking?!”

You sobbed uncontrollably, your heartache pouring out as Satoru cradled you in his arms, his white hair damp from his efforts to rescue you from the water. How and when did he arrive? Your mind couldn’t process the details amidst the turmoil. All you could do was surrender to the flood of tears, feeling paralyzed from head to toe as you cried into his embrace.

Is this another dream?

Is this another hallucination?

You released a bitter laugh. Please. You closed your eyes, laughing and crying like a mad person. Please stop the pain.

“Y/N, please,” his whispers were tender, yet tinged with a sorrow that amplified your heartache. “What about Sachiro?” He, too, shed his own tears, his ocean-blue eyes shimmering in the moonlight as they filled with tears, his voice breaking. “What about me?”

Your face was pressed against his chest, anguish coursing through you, feeling as if your very soul was being torn asunder. “Th-That’s the... the same thing... I’ve been asking myself,” you managed between sobs, struggling to draw a steady breath. “I’m... I’m always th-thinking about other people... and never myself.”

He fell silent, his response lost in the weight of your words, perhaps laden with guilt or his own sorrow. But his presence there, holding you close, as if he still harbored love for you, tore another piece from your already battered heart. He shouldn’t be here. He should have been with Akemi. He should be anywhere but near you. With a surge of adrenaline, you began to push him away, propelling yourself through the water, racing toward the shore despite the weakness in your limbs. Satoru called out your name, his voice a desperate plea, as he followed after you, his movements slower but filled with urgency.

“Stop!” Your voice rose, echoing against the night as you stood on the shore, water cascading from your body in sync with the tears streaming down your face. “L-Leave me alone... Please. Why are you here?”

You knew Satoru well enough to understand what had driven him to chase after you. Perhaps he had grown concerned, either from noticing your absence or from someone informing him of your uncharacteristic nighttime swim. His actions were undoubtedly unusual; he knew all too well of your fear of open water, prompting him to leap into action to rescue you.

But you didn’t need him to be here. You didn’t need him anywhere. He wasn’t yours anymore.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, his voice carrying the weight of confusion and concern, his steps cautious as he approached you. He looked at you with tears in his eyes, his expression vulnerable and pleading, like a child seeking comfort, desperately hoping to be understood, to be heard. “You’re not with Toji anymore.”

“Why should I?” You struggled to compose yourself, wiping away the tears that blurred your vision. “It doesn’t matter—”

“It fucking matters, Y/N!”

“It shouldn’t matter!” Your voice cracked with emotion, your heart pounding painfully against your ribs. “Why should it matter, huh?”

“Because I love you!” His words echoed through the night, raw with emotion that had never been confronted until now. “Because I can’t fucking get over you. Because I’m a fool for you!”

You pushed him away, a surge of anger and hurt rising within you. “H-How dare you,” you choked out, your fists trembling as you struck his chest. “How dare you say that to me when you’re with someone else! You n-never truly loved me, Satoru. Y-You never did!”

“You wanted me to find someone new, Y/N,” his voice cracked with emotion, pained by his own words, “I just did what you asked me to do, even if that wasn’t what I truly wanted.”

You vehemently denied his assertion in your mind, shaking your head in refusal. “Stop saying that. Just stop. Please.”

He already had his grip on your hand, pulling you closer. “Y/N—”

You jerked your hand away sharply, but then a wave of despair washed over you. “Every time I see you with her, I convince myself that I’m fine with it, that this is what I wanted, what I chose.” Tears welled up in your eyes as you recalled every heartbreak. “I tell myself that I deserve it, that you deserve to be with someone who can make you happier. But then I remember our past…” You paused, closing your eyes to stem the tears. “And then I compare it to your relationship with her now. I can’t help but wonder, why didn’t I receive that kind of love and respect from the beginning? Why did it take me nearly drowning in an ocean for you to realize and try to make things right three years ago?”

His grip on your hand tightened, as if he wanted to hold onto you and never let go, as if he wanted to reassure you with his touch that he was there, listening, understanding, feeling every word you uttered.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice barely audible amidst the crashing waves and the heavy weight of your emotions. “I’m sorry for everything I did wrong, for every moment I failed to show you the love and respect you deserved, Y/N.”

You hated it. You hated hearing his words now, because it was three years all too late. You had already gone through so much suffering, so much anguish that you didn’t deserve, just because you wanted a happy marriage. Just because you wanted to love and be loved. By him. By the person you married.

“It d-doesn’t change anything,” you murmured, your voice breaking with sorrow. “I can’t undo the pain, the heartache. I can’t erase the memories.”

“I know,” he replied softly, his eyes filled with remorse. “But let’s try again. Let me try again, Y/N. Please.”

You wanted to believe him, to believe that he meant every word, that he was sincere in his intentions. But the wounds of the past were still fresh, and the memories of betrayal were still lingering in your mind.

“You know what hurts me more?” you asked, “It’s the fact that you didn’t lose your memories of me, but you still ended up falling for her,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

Satoru’s silence felt like a confirmation to you. Perhaps he had indeed fallen in love with Akemi, and you were the obstacle standing in the way of his complete commitment to her. You were just a relic of his past, a piece that he needed to discard in order to embrace his future with Akemi. It seemed that fate had already decided that you and Satoru would never find happiness together, and this should serve as nothing more than a closure.

But god be damned, it was tearing you apart.

You tugged at the necklace around your neck, the pendant bearing half of his heart, and in your trembling hand, you ripped it off. As painful as it was, your next action was to hurl it into the darkness of the lake, discarding the last remnant that linked him to you, watching as it disappeared beneath the surface of the lake with a soft splash.

You know the difference between us, Satoru? You thought silently. I dove into the ocean just to find our wedding ring, but you would never plunge into that lake to retrieve that necklace.

With determined steps, you turned away before he could react, walking away from that place, walking away from him. You resolved that this would be your final encounter with Satoru Gojou in your lifetime, because there was no need for him in your life, just as he no longer needed you in his. You two would remain in the past, a memory best left behind.

This was you letting him go.

But then, just as you were about to walk away, you heard a faint noise from the darkness behind you—a splash, followed by the sound of another frantic splashing.

Your heart pounded heavily in your chest. You turned back toward the lake, your eyes widening in shock as you saw Satoru thrashing in the water, his arms flailing as he searched desperately for the necklace you had thrown away.

“Satoru, you idiot!” you cried out, your voice filled with disbelief and concern and pain and overwhelming heartache. Without a second thought, you ran back to the cold water, your feet sinking into the soft sand as you waded into the lake. “Satoru, what are you doing?!” you called out again, your heart racing as you reached out to him, your fingers brushing against his arm as he struggled to stay afloat.

“I have to find it,” Satoru gasped, his voice strained with exertion. “I have to find the necklace you threw.”

Your breath caught in your throat as you looked into his eyes, seeing the desperation and determination that burned within them. You knew then that you couldn’t let him risk his life for a piece of jewelry, no matter how sentimental it may be.

“Satoru, please,” you pleaded, your voice trembling with emotion. “It’s not worth it. Let it go—”

But Satoru shook his head, his gaze fixed on the dark waters below. “I have to find it," he insisted, his eyes tearful. “It’s my heart. I gave it to you.”

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

The tension between you crackled like electricity in the air. In that moment, all of your walls came crashing down, your heart laid bare before the man you had once loved with all your soul.

With tears streaming down your cheeks, you reached out and pulled Satoru into your arms, your lips meeting his in a desperate, longing kiss. It was a kiss filled with years of pent-up emotion, a bittersweet union of love and pain that left you both breathless and raw. Your lips moved together in a tender dance, each kiss a silent plea for forgiveness, for understanding, for a second chance at the love you had lost. It was a kiss that spoke of regrets and what-ifs, of dreams left unfulfilled and promises broken.

For years, you had been strangers, your hearts closed off to each other in an attempt to shield yourselves from the pain of your past. But in that moment, as you clung to each other in the darkness, you couldn’t deny the truth that still lingered between you—that your love for each other had never truly died.

As you finally pulled apart, gasping for air, you looked into Satoru’s eyes, seeing the depth of his pain mirrored in your own. “I hate you,” you whispered, your voice laced with grief and surrender, "so much."

Satoru reached out and brushed a tear from your cheek, his touch gentle and tender. “I hate me, too,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion, his eyes shining with guilt, “for hurting you.”

You couldn’t erase the past, nor could you predict the future. But as you stood together in the middle of the lake, your hearts entwined once more, you found solace in the simple act of being together, of sharing your pain and your love in the darkness of the night. And as you held each other tight, the gravity of your connection pulled you to kiss him again.

Once more, you met his lips in a deeper kiss. His lips moved in perfect sync with yours, and the taste of his tongue was met with the familiarity you two shared. It was as if your bodies were moving on its own, and you allowed it to dictate whatever action it desired. Forget everything for now, was all you could think of in your head. In your mind, it was all Satoru. It was the man you love. The man you married. The man you share a child with.

You were too engrossed with the feeling of his lips that you didn’t even realize he had your legs wrapped around his waist. And with your arms around his neck, you could feel him lift you up, never breaking the kiss as he carried you out of the lake. With each step he took, your kiss only got deeper and deeper. You had never felt such intensity throughout your marriage, and you were intoxicated by the feeling of kissing him again.

Of feeling his lips around your jawline. Your neck. Your chest. You were gasping on his mouth, had his lips completely enveloped with yours, not realizing you were stumbling inside your cabin, desperate to find somewhere to lay on.

And before you knew it, the night had played way differently than expected.

Both your wet clothes were on the floor in a tangle of fabric, forgotten in the heat of your passion. And now, with your bare body on top of him. His arms caressed the smooth skin of your back, his lips feathering kisses along your bust. As you moved your hips slowly, you couldn’t stop the moan that escaped your lips. Satoru’s member was warm inside you. Your bodies were tingling from the intensity of your lovemaking in the dimly lit room. And when you pulled away, your eyes were locked in a silent exchange of yearning.

Without a word, Satoru reached out and gently cupped your breast, his touch sending electricity down your spine. You leaned into his touch, your breath coming in shallow gasps as you felt the heat of his body pressing against yours.

Your lips met once more, a tender exploration of each other’s mouths, and he was taking that chance to shift the position you were in. Slowly, almost hesitantly, he began to enter you again. You were whimpering under him, melting into his passionate movements. You have had sex with Satoru multiple times before, but it was never this emotional. It was never this passionate. You could feel the difference with the way he kissed you, with the way he looked at you, with the way he touched you.

“S-Satoru—!”

“Mmm… I missed you so fucking much, Y/N.”

And then, finally, you came together in a flurry of hands and lips and skin, your bodies melding into one as you gave yourselves over to the exquisite pleasure of your lovemaking.

At that exact moment, as you moved together in perfect harmony, you knew that you were home.

— —

When Akemi woke up, she could tell something felt wrong.

It didn’t help that Satoru was not by her side as she opened her eyes, blinded by the sunlight that peeked through the window. Was he out for a morning run? Or perhaps he was indulging in a leisurely bath? She entertained the idea of joining him, wanting to express her gratitude for his care and support.

Her heart swelled with love for him, despite all the risks and uncertainties. He was her rock, her confidant, her everything. In him, she found solace and strength, and she couldn’t imagine her life without him. Despite the troubles of his past, she felt blessed to have crossed paths with him. She longed for the kind of deep connection and lasting commitment that she saw in others’ marriages, a dream she harbored for her own future. And in Satoru, she saw the perfect partner to share that dream with, to build a family and a life together that she had always yearned for.

Akemi wasn’t ashamed by how smitten she was with him. In fact, she was beginning to have more confidence in her decision to pursue a relationship with him. She just hoped you would understand, that you would eventually let go of the grudge in your heart. At the end of the day, she wasn’t trying to hurt you. She was only trying to pursue her happiness.

And the exact source of her happiness was someone she endeavored to find that morning. She put on a robe and searched every room in the cabin, calling out for his name, wondering why she couldn’t hear his voice.

With no response forthcoming, Akemi decided to exit the cabin in search of Satoru. Assuming he had likely been with Suguru all night, she scanned the vicinity, expecting to spot his tall, white-haired figure. Yet, after several minutes of fruitless searching, she couldn’t find him and instead, encountered a hotel staff member. That was when she decided to finally inquire about his whereabouts.

“Excuse me,” she began, halting the staff member’s stride, “Have you seen my boyfriend? He’s tall, with white hair and blue eyes.”

“Ah, Mr. Gojou?” the hotel staff responded, scratching her head as realization dawned. She then gestured toward the last place Akemi wished him to be. “Um, I think he’s in there.”

Akemi’s heart raced as if she had seen a ghost. Her complexion drained of color, her heart pounding in her chest as she realized that the cabin she had been directed to was yours. And in a twist of fate, just as she stood there in shock, the man she loved emerged from the cabin, equally wide-eyed.

“‘Kemi…” he began, frozen in place, “Let’s talk first—”

But she cut him off with a scoff. Her hands trembled with a tumult of emotions—anger, pain, and betrayal—threatening to overwhelm her. She was on the verge of collapse, her mind reeling with questions. Was he going to explain his actions? No, there was only one question that demanded an answer.

“Did you… did you do it?” she asked through gritted teeth, her voice laced with accusation.

Satoru didn’t need to respond. As Akemi pushed the door open, her worst fears were confirmed as she saw you standing behind him, draped in nothing but a blanket. Tears welled in her eyes, and before she could think, her body reacted, her hand connecting with Gojou’s cheek in a resounding slap.

“You never changed!” she cried out, her voice cracking with anguish. “You’re still a cheater!”

Satoru struggled to deflect each fist she hurled at him, but her rage and despair overwhelmed any attempt to reason with her. She was consumed by her pain and the looming betrayal she anticipated, unable to comprehend that her worst fears were coming true before her eyes.

“‘Kemi, please,” Satoru pleaded in vain.

“...Akemi, I'm sorry,” you interjected, your voice heavy with remorse as you wiped your tears. “It’s not his fault. It’s mine.”

Upon hearing your words, Akemi erupted. She disregarded your friendship, cast aside your shared memories, and denied that she had ever considered you a friend. Her tear-filled eyes bore into you with accusation. “Y-You,” she began, her voice choking with sobs, “You’re a hypocrite, Y/N!”

You remained silent, absorbing her words.

Akemi pressed on with her onslaught. “You’re a hypocrite! You’ve become the person you despised the most when you were married,” she accused, recalling the anguish you endured during Gojou’s affair. “You’re no better than Sera! And that’s why you’re miserable, and you’ll forever be miserable! If this is your way of getting back at me,” she paused, betrayed by the anguish in her voice, “Then jokes on you, because Satoru will never be faithful to you. He’ll keep cheating on you, just like he did now with me! You two belong in that cycle!”

She fled before she could hear your response, but Satoru’s whispered apology lingered in the air, unclear of who its intended recipient was. At that moment, she didn’t care anymore. She raced back to her cabin, tears streaming down her face as she hastily packed her belongings.

She moved mechanically, tossing her belongings into her luggage while grappling with the overwhelming pain of his infidelity. Try as she might to focus on the task at hand, her tears flowed freely, and she surrendered to her grief, cradling her face in her hands.

Amidst her anguish, she couldn’t ignore the escalating pain in her pelvic region, a physical echo of the agony in her heart. Each sob seemed to intensify both sensations, leaving her feeling utterly shattered.

With that confrontation, Satoru faced a pivotal choice: to stay with you or to pursue Akemi.

While Akemi had anticipated that he might choose you, she was taken aback when she swung the door open,

bags in hand,

only to find Satoru Gojou standing on her doorstep.

#series: sincerely yours #gojo satoru x reader #gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo x reader #jjk x reader #gojo angst #jjk x you

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leiiilaaaa · 2 months

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12th house synastry!

wanted to do this because 12th house is super interesting to look into, and when your partner/friends/etc has their placements in your 12th house it can reveal a lot that hasn't been known before, your future with this individual, inexplainable feelings and occurrences, lets dive into it.

partner sun in your 12th house - usually this person will unlock a part of your brain that will teach you the deeper meaning of life, they will provoke you with intense thoughts to challenge you and connect you deeper to reality. you find that this person usually understands you without much explanation, sometimes it might even feel surreal on the basis they can read you. you are predictable to them and almost feel that nothing in this bond can be hidden from them. they admire something about your mental strength and want you to express your burdens than to shy from them. it doesn't scare you so much at the thought of it, but your biggest challenge will be opening up to this individual- and depending on how their sun is aspected it can show you the intentions they have with knowing these things about you. ex; if they have sun trine your moon, they will be emotionally there with you. if they have sun oppose mercury/uranus, they can be very chatty and spill some of your traumas and experiences to others.

partner moon in your 12th house - this person is very respecting to your emotions, and they find you to be their happy places in a way. they love when they can get past surface level discussion with you, to them they love to protect you and tell you things that are far too uncomfortable to tell other people. sometimes it can become an overburdening where you might pull away and the partner begins to question what this means for the relationship. set boundaries, but also let this person play the role they want because the backbone of this relationship is going to be your longevity of trust with each other. might be hard to make the moon person change his/her habits, but all they need is a gentle tug.

partner mercury in your 12th house - this person will be the one to tell you information you don't want to hear but need to hear. you might often resent this individual sometimes because of this and feel that they can get distant towards you from time to time, or jumpy in their explanations. the mercury person will have a quick temperament, and the communication can become murky, but you don't forget what they tell you though, and usually they will be the ones telling you stories to learn from or traumatic experiences. just be sure to set limits with this placement, as they can overstep or really push away. but besides that, they find an appreciation for your company, and they become quite fixated on you when you keep up the communication. otherwise, it can go either way.

partner venus in your 12th house - feelings left unsaid is the energy that exudes here. secretly being admired or having to admit it out of one another. the venus person will often try and match your love language as much as possible, they will find out things you like (music, interests, content, friends/family members, you name it), to have an underlying similarity. it can become borderline obsession; however this partner is naturally clingy towards you and knows how you inter-operate than most people do. you have predictable patterns to these people because of how much they analyze you from afar. their biggest fears in terms of love with you is that you abandon them or shun them away, even minimal acknowledgement make them fall for you even harder. just be aware that this can be an intense spot for venus.

partner mars in your 12th house - you both might impulsively jump into experiences together, this person shows you newer practices, mentalities, anything hidden in plain sight. they will encourage you to express your desires more and can also get sexually aroused by you without you even knowing when it happens. creates a healthy intensity between the two of you and the mars knows not to overstep surprisingly, as confident as they are, they do back down when things might get too overstimulating for the house person. there's a sense of care and adrenaline the mars person gives to the house person, they will please them in many ways and approach them in such an unforgettable way too. you might uncover that your sex-life with this person is so top tier, and roleplaying is prominent in your lives. if you think it, it comes to life.

partner jupiter in your 12th house - the jupiter person will change your life dramatically, spiritually you will feel very positive around this person, and almost like you take a part of them when you're not with them. you admire their ability to get more of everything from life, which of course they do teach you, their ways. the jupiter person will take pride in helping you benefit from them, especially when both of you mean well. these people might feel even god-sent sometimes, be careful to not take more than you give to these people, as jupiter is about luck and you never know. they can give you an old soul kind of energy, and one that just wants the betterment for the people they care about including the house person.

partner saturn in your 12th house - as stern as this person might come off to you, they are intensely loyal and work hard to sustain the relationship between the two of you- in their own way. you usually have no abnormalities between the two of you, although you will want to be clingy to them, remember that they persevere the best when they are alone and, in the zone, don't smother these people too much or they will forget about their tasks and abandon them. emotionally they can seem off, but depending on how their saturn is aspected, it can show you the ways they open up and how long it can take them too. because it is your 12th house, they will be drawn to your dark nature and match that with discipline, as a result very unspoken dynamic at times, but a very loyal and committed one.

partner uranus in your 12th house - uranus person will oddly understand you out of many people in your life, they themselves can sometimes even analyze your lifestyle and mindset a little too hard where they try to inflict so much change onto you. they may also insist on involving other people to come and convince you to be a part of something that maybe you don't want to be. this is a prime example of a groupie dynamic, uranus person will introduce you to the similar things that have changed them as a person (good or bad), house person will either like it or hate it. house person has to draw the line on what they say to the uranus person before they can draw out their life.

partner neptune in your 12th house - neptune person will be your peacekeeper and you feel a sense of belonging towards one another. there is a good balance between the two of you where you respect each other's privacy but also drop casual lores of each other here and there. this mutual respect makes the 12th house person very fond of the neptune person and creates for good long term relations. the neptune person admires 12th house person's abilities to discern topics in a similar way to them. these people have similar troubles i notice, and both heal together in a harmonious way that can turn them religious at the same time, or heavily spiritual at the same time. they are super on sync, or the neptune person will try to catch up to the house person a lot.

partner pluto in your 12th house - pluto person will make you shift perspectives all the time, and doesn't like to take short cuts. they want the house person to feel all their feelings, explain them thoroughly, and understand their capabilities. the pluto person can genuinely help the house person feel ready for the changes they are going to experience. pluto will remind the house that darkness is a necessity to experience light. the house person will resent this at first, but then become vulnerable and respecting of pluto's efforts to help them transform into the person they are meant to be. the pluto person won't mind the house person's whiplash from time to time, as usually the pluto person has heavy life experiences that they can only ease in to understand somebody elses.

partner chiron in your 12th house - this person will find themselves healing through you. your dynamic will teach them things about themselves that wasn't apparent to them when they were younger, or before they met you. house person will help chiron ease into their insecurities and become more open to the idea of acceptance. while the chiron person will accept house for all their flaws and allow the house person to be themselves without carrying shame. as long as this bond is mutually beneficial, it can help both people grow. however chiron person can be burdening to house person if they feel that chiron is always at the brink of sabotage, it can be hard to maintain. however it can flourish to be beautiful.

that's basically all for 12th house synastry, if you have other placements in the 12th that aren't here tell me below and i will tell you my input on those, thank u so much for readings i know its a strong yap but there's a lot that depends with synastry and this is only the surface of it! <3

#astrology observations #astrology #astro notes #synastry #astro tumblr

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literaryvein-reblogs · 2 months

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a list of "beautiful" words used by Sylvia Plath

to try to include in your poem/story

Ardent - characterized by warmth of feeling typically expressed in eager zealous support or activity; fiery; glowing

Colossus - a statue of gigantic size and proportions; a person or thing of immense size or power

Defy - to confront with assured power of resistance; to challenge to do something considered impossible

Godhood - divinity

Infinitesimal - immeasurably or incalculably small

Longevity - a long duration of individual life; long continuance; permanence, durability

Malignity - an instance of malignant or malicious behavior or nature; malevolence

Mausoleum - a large tomb; a large gloomy building or room

Obscurity - the quality or state of being obscure (i.e., shrouded in or hidden by darkness; not readily understood or clearly expressed)

Omniscient - having infinite awareness, understanding, and insight

Pinnacle - an upright architectural member generally ending in a small spire and used especially in Gothic construction to give weight especially to a buttress; the highest point of development or achievement

Ponderous - unwieldy or clumsy because of weight and size; oppressively or unpleasantly dull

Tendrils - a leaves, stipules, or stems modified into slender spirally coiling sensitive organs serving to attach a climbing plant to their support

Uproot - to remove as if by pulling up; to pull up by the roots; to displace from a country or traditional habitat

Vacuous - emptied of or lacking content; marked by lack of ideas or intelligence

If any of these words make their way into your next poem/story, please tag me, or leave a link in the replies. I would love to read them!

More: Word Lists

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kleopatra45 · 2 months

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Aspects of Venus in the Natal Chart

☌ Venus Conjunct Other Planets

Conjunctions can be both positive and negative. On the positive side, they combine the energies of the planets involved, enhancing their qualities and creating a powerful synergy. This can result in heightened strengths and abilities in the areas governed by the conjunct planets. On the negative side, conjunctions can amplify challenging traits, potentially leading to imbalances or conflicts if the combined energies are not well-integrated or harmonized.

Venus Conjunct Sun: This conjunction blends love (Venus) with identity and ego (Sun), creating a harmonious alignment between personal desires and affectionate expression. The individual radiates warmth and charm, often attracting admiration and forming deep emotional connections. However, there may be challenges in distinguishing between personal needs and the needs of the relationship, sometimes leading to self-indulgence or dependency. Venus Conjunct Moon: When Venus is conjunct the Moon, emotions and affections are deeply intertwined. This aspect enhances sensitivity and a nurturing nature in relationships. Individuals are likely to seek harmony and beauty in their personal lives. They have a strong need for love and comfort, often expressing their feelings with warmth and tenderness, making them charming and empathetic partners. Venus Conjunct Mercury: This aspect enhances charm and communication in relationships. The individual expresses affection through articulate and persuasive language, fostering harmonious interactions and intellectual rapport. However, there could be a tendency to prioritize mental stimulation over emotional depth, occasionally leading to superficiality in emotional exchanges. Venus Conjunct Mars: This conjunction combines love and desire, enhancing passion and assertiveness in relationships. The individual pursues their desires with charm and confidence, often initiating romantic connections with vigor. However, it can also lead to emotional impulsiveness or conflicts arising from differences in emotional and physical needs. Venus Conjunct Jupiter: This aspect enhances love and generosity, promoting optimism and expansiveness in relationships. The individual values harmony and growth, often seeking to elevate their emotional connections through shared experiences and mutual understanding. However, there may be tendencies towards overindulgence or unrealistic expectations in emotional matters. Venus Conjunct Saturn: This conjunction blends love with responsibility and commitment. The individual values stability and longevity in relationships, often approaching love with maturity and patience. However, it can also lead to emotional restraint or fear of vulnerability, as they prioritize security and practical considerations in emotional affairs. Venus Conjunct Uranus: This aspect promotes uniqueness and unpredictability in emotional expression. The individual values independence and innovation in relationships, often seeking excitement and freedom in love. However, it can also lead to emotional detachment or sudden changes in emotional preferences, challenging the stability of romantic connections. Venus Conjunct Neptune: This conjunction enhances sensitivity and idealism in love. The individual is deeply compassionate and romantic, often drawn to mystical or artistic expressions of affection. It supports emotional empathy and spiritual connection in relationships but may also lead to idealization or confusion regarding emotional boundaries. Venus Conjunct Pluto: This aspect intensifies love and transformation in relationships. The individual experiences profound emotional depth and may undergo significant personal growth through intense emotional experiences. However, it can also lead to power struggles or obsessions in love, as they navigate the complexities of intimacy and control.

⚹ Venus Sextile Other Planets

Sextiles are positive aspects that encourage cooperation and the easy flow of energies between the involved planets. This harmonious connection facilitates smooth interactions and enhances the beneficial qualities of each planet, leading to supportive and constructive outcomes. The ease of this aspect promotes opportunities for growth, creativity, and positive developments in the areas influenced by the sextile.

Venus Sextile Sun: This harmonious aspect enhances creativity and self-expression in relationships. The individual radiates warmth and affection, fostering mutual respect and admiration. It supports emotional harmony and cooperative efforts towards shared goals, enhancing the overall enjoyment of romantic connections. Venus Sextile Moon: A Venus-Moon sextile brings a harmonious blend of emotional sensitivity and affectionate expression. This aspect fosters easy emotional connections and enhances social charm. People with this sextile are likely to express love and care in a gentle, supportive manner. They enjoy creating a pleasant, aesthetically pleasing environment and excel in nurturing and maintaining harmonious relationships. Venus Sextile Mercury: This aspect enhances communication and understanding in relationships. The individual expresses affection through thoughtful gestures and attentive listening, fostering intellectual rapport and emotional closeness. It supports harmonious exchanges of ideas and promotes a shared appreciation for mental stimulation. Venus Sextile Mars: This aspect enhances passion and assertiveness in relationships. The individual pursues their desires with grace and determination, often inspiring mutual attraction and emotional intimacy. It supports proactive efforts in romantic pursuits and encourages healthy expressions of desire and affection. Venus Sextile Jupiter: This aspect brings generosity and optimism to love and relationships. The individual values growth and mutual support, often finding joy in shared experiences and emotional expansion. It supports a positive outlook on love and encourages acts of kindness and emotional generosity towards others. Venus Sextile Saturn: This aspect blends love with stability and commitment. The individual values loyalty and reliability in relationships, often fostering long-lasting emotional connections built on trust and mutual respect. It supports practical efforts in love and encourages patient and mature approaches to emotional fulfillment. Venus Sextile Uranus: This aspect promotes innovation and spontaneity in emotional expression. The individual values freedom and individuality in relationships, often seeking unconventional or exciting romantic experiences. It supports adaptability in love and encourages creative solutions to emotional challenges. Venus Sextile Neptune: This aspect enhances sensitivity and compassion in relationships. The individual is empathetic and romantic, often expressing affection through artistic or spiritual means. It supports emotional healing and fosters deep emotional connections based on mutual understanding and empathy. Venus Sextile Pluto: This aspect brings intensity and transformation to love and relationships. The individual experiences profound emotional growth and may undergo significant personal changes through deep emotional connections. It supports emotional resilience and encourages the exploration of intimacy and shared vulnerability.

□ Venus Square Other Planets

Squares are negative aspects that create tension and challenges between the involved planets, prompting growth through conflict. This dynamic aspect often leads to struggles and obstacles that need to be overcome, pushing individuals to address and resolve the underlying issues. The friction generated by squares can be difficult to navigate, but it ultimately encourages personal development and resilience as one learns to balance and harmonize the conflicting energies.

Venus Square Sun: This challenging aspect creates tension between personal desires and the needs of others in relationships. The individual may struggle with issues of self-worth or feelings of inadequacy, affecting their ability to form balanced emotional connections. However, it also encourages self-awareness and personal growth through learning to prioritize mutual respect and emotional reciprocity. Venus Square Moon: Venus square the Moon can create tension between emotional needs and desires for affection. This aspect may lead to difficulties in balancing personal feelings with relational expectations. There can be internal conflict or inconsistency in expressing love and emotions, resulting in potential misunderstandings or dissatisfaction in relationships. Learning to navigate these differences is essential for emotional harmony. Venus Square Mercury: This aspect can lead to misunderstandings or conflicts in communication within relationships. The individual may struggle to express their affections clearly or to understand the emotional needs of others. It challenges them to develop empathy and effective communication skills in emotional exchanges. Venus Square Mars: This aspect can lead to conflicts or power struggles in relationships. The individual may experience challenges balancing emotional desires with assertive actions, potentially leading to emotional confrontations or misunderstandings. However, it also fosters emotional courage and assertiveness through learning to assert boundaries and manage conflicts constructively. Venus Square Jupiter: This aspect can create conflicts between emotional indulgence and practical realities in relationships. The individual may struggle with overextending themselves emotionally or having unrealistic expectations of others. It challenges them to find balance and moderation in emotional exchanges, fostering emotional maturity and realistic emotional expectations. Venus Square Saturn: This aspect generates tension between love and responsibility in relationships. The individual may experience fears or insecurities related to commitment or emotional vulnerability. It challenges them to develop patience and emotional resilience in forming lasting emotional connections based on trust and mutual support. Venus Square Uranus: This aspect can lead to conflicts or disruptions in emotional stability within relationships. The individual may feel torn between the desire for emotional freedom and the need for security or stability. It challenges them to find creative solutions to emotional challenges while maintaining authenticity and respect for emotional boundaries. Venus Square Neptune: This aspect can create confusion or idealism in relationships. The individual may struggle with boundaries or clarity in emotional matters, potentially leading to emotional vulnerability or disillusionment. It challenges them to develop realistic emotional expectations and to communicate openly and honestly in romantic connections. Venus Square Pluto: This aspect can lead to power struggles or intense emotional transformations in relationships. The individual may experience issues of control or possessiveness, challenging them to confront deep-seated emotional fears or desires. It encourages them to navigate emotional complexities with honesty and respect for emotional autonomy.

△ Venus Trine Other Planets

Trines are positive aspects that create a smooth and beneficial connection between the involved planets, enhancing talents and creating a sense of ease. This harmonious aspect facilitates the natural flow of energy, making it easier to express and develop the qualities associated with the planets. Trines often lead to emotional balance, inner harmony, and an overall sense of well-being, as the supportive nature of this aspect encourages the effortless integration of strengths and abilities.

Venus Trine Sun: This harmonious aspect enhances love and creativity in relationships. The individual expresses affection with warmth and generosity, fostering mutual appreciation and respect. It supports emotional harmony and encourages creative collaboration and shared enjoyment in romantic connections. Venus Trine Moon: With Venus trine the Moon, there is a natural flow of emotional expression and affection. This aspect brings ease and grace in relationships, enhancing charm and social grace. Individuals with this trine are likely to be emotionally supportive and nurturing, finding joy in creating a loving, harmonious environment. Their warmth and kindness attract positive relationships and mutual understanding. Venus Trine Mercury: This aspect enhances communication and understanding in relationships. The individual expresses love and affection through clear and thoughtful communication, fostering intellectual rapport and emotional intimacy. It supports harmonious exchanges of ideas and promotes a shared appreciation for mental stimulation and emotional closeness. Venus Trine Mars: This aspect enhances passion and assertiveness in relationships. The individual pursues their desires with grace and confidence, often inspiring mutual attraction and emotional fulfillment. It supports proactive efforts in romantic pursuits and encourages healthy expressions of desire and emotional intimacy. Venus Trine Jupiter: This aspect brings joy and optimism to love and relationships. The individual values growth and mutual support, often finding happiness in shared experiences and emotional expansion. It supports a positive outlook on love and encourages acts of kindness and generosity in romantic connections. Venus Trine Saturn: This aspect blends love with stability and commitment. The individual values loyalty and reliability in relationships, often fostering enduring emotional connections built on trust and mutual respect. It supports practical efforts in love and encourages patient and mature approaches to emotional fulfillment. Venus Trine Uranus: This aspect promotes spontaneity and excitement in emotional expression. The individual values freedom and individuality in relationships, often seeking unconventional or innovative romantic experiences. It supports adaptability in love and encourages creative solutions to emotional challenges. Venus Trine Neptune: This aspect enhances sensitivity and compassion in relationships. The individual is empathetic and romantic, often expressing affection through artistic or spiritual means. It supports emotional healing and fosters deep emotional connections based on mutual understanding and empathy. Venus Trine Pluto: This aspect brings intensity and transformation to love and relationships. The individual experiences profound emotional growth and may undergo significant personal changes through deep emotional connections. It supports emotional resilience and encourages exploration of intimacy and shared vulnerability.

☍ Venus Opposition Other Planets

Oppositions in astrology create a dynamic of tension and awareness between the energies of the planets involved. This aspect often highlights contrasting needs and urges individuals to find a balance between them. While oppositions can create challenges, they also provide opportunities for growth and integration as one learns to navigate the tension between opposing forces.

Venus Opposite Sun: This aspect creates tension between personal desires and the needs of others in relationships. The individual may struggle with issues of self-worth or feelings of inadequacy, impacting their ability to form balanced emotional connections. However, it also encourages self-awareness and personal growth through learning to prioritize mutual respect and emotional reciprocity. Venus Opposite Moon: Venus opposite the Moon can indicate a push-pull dynamic between emotional needs and expressions of affection. This aspect often brings challenges in balancing personal feelings with the desire for relational harmony. There may be a tendency to seek validation through relationships, leading to potential dependency or emotional conflict. Striving for self-awareness and balance is key to managing this aspect. Venus Opposite Mercury: This aspect can lead to misunderstandings or conflicts in communication within relationships. The individual may struggle to express their affections clearly or to understand the emotional needs of others. It challenges them to develop empathy and effective communication skills in emotional exchanges. Venus Opposite Mars: This aspect can lead to conflicts or power struggles in relationships. The individual may experience challenges balancing emotional desires with assertive actions, potentially leading to emotional confrontations or misunderstandings. However, it also fosters emotional courage and assertiveness through learning to assert boundaries and manage conflicts constructively. Venus Opposite Jupiter: This aspect can create conflicts between emotional indulgence and practical realities in relationships. The individual may struggle with overextending themselves emotionally or having unrealistic expectations of others. It challenges them to find balance and moderation in emotional exchanges, fostering emotional maturity and realistic emotional expectations. Venus Opposite Saturn: This aspect generates tension between love and responsibility in relationships. The individual may experience fears or insecurities related to commitment or emotional vulnerability. It challenges them to develop patience and emotional resilience in forming lasting emotional connections based on trust and mutual support. Venus Opposite Uranus: This aspect can lead to conflicts or disruptions in emotional stability within relationships. The individual may feel torn between the desire for emotional freedom and the need for security or stability. It challenges them to find creative solutions to emotional challenges while maintaining authenticity and respect for emotional boundaries. Venus Opposite Neptune: This aspect can create confusion or idealism in relationships. The individual may struggle with boundaries or clarity in emotional matters, potentially leading to emotional vulnerability or disillusionment. It challenges them to develop realistic emotional expectations and to communicate openly and honestly in romantic connections. Venus Opposite Pluto: This aspect can lead to power struggles or intense emotional transformations in relationships. The individual may experience issues of control or possessiveness, challenging them to confront deep-seated emotional fears or desires. It encourages them to navigate emotional complexities with honesty and respect for emotional autonomy.

©️kleopatra45

#astrology community #astrology #astroblr #astrology readings #astrology tumblr #astro notes #astrology observations #houses in astrology #venus in the signs #zodiac #venus in the houses

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reasonsforhope · 2 months

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"In a highly-anticipated world-first, the Texas Heart Institute has successfully implanted an artificial titanium heart that uses the same technology as bullet trains to pump blood mechanically throughout the body.

Called the Total Artificial Heart (TAH), the feat is seen as a major step in keeping people alive for longer and longer periods while they wait for heart transplants.

Texas Heart partnered with the medical tech company BiVACOR to create the TAH. It’s a titanium-constructed biventricular rotary blood pump with a single moving part that utilizes a magnetically levitated rotor that pumps the blood and replaces both ventricles of a failing heart.

The benefit of using magnetic levitation is that none of the moving parts ever scrape or slide against each other, reducing friction, and dramatically increasing the longevity of the device. But what’s really cool is the TAH can pump blood at a rate of 12 liters per minute, enough to allow an adult male to engage in exercise.

The first-in-human clinical study, overseen closely by the FDA, aims to evaluate the safety and performance of the BiVACOR TAH as a bridge-to-transplant solution for patients with severe bi or univentricular heart failure. Following this first implantation completed at Baylor St. Luke’s Medical Center in the Texas Medical Center, four additional patients are to be enrolled in the study.

“The Texas Heart Institute is enthused about the groundbreaking first implantation of BiVACOR’s TAH. With heart failure remaining a leading cause of mortality globally, the BiVACOR TAH offers a beacon of hope for countless patients awaiting a heart transplant,” said Dr. Joseph Rogers, President and Chief Executive Officer of The Texas Heart Institute and National Principal Investigator on the research.

“We are proud to be at the forefront of this medical breakthrough, working alongside the dedicated teams at BiVACOR, Baylor College of Medicine, and Baylor St. Luke’s Medical Center to transform the future of heart failure therapy for this vulnerable population.”

Heart failure is a global epidemic affecting at least 26 million people worldwide, 6.2 million adults in the US, and is increasing in prevalence. Heart transplantations are reserved for those with severe heart failure and are limited to fewer than 6,000 procedures per year globally. Consequently, the US National Institutes of Health estimated that up to 100,000 patients could immediately benefit from mechanical alternatives.

The successful implantation of BiVACOR’s TAH highlights the potential of innovative technologies to address critical challenges in cardiac care, such as long transplantation waitlists.

“This achievement would not have been possible without the courage of our first patient and their family, the dedication of our team, and our expert collaborators at The Texas Heart Institute,” said Daniel Timms, founder and CTO of BiVACOR."

youtube

-Article via Good News Network, August 1, 2024. Video via 7News Australia, July 26, 2024.

#heart transplant #organ transplant #medical news #public health #organ donation #heart disease #titanium #texas #australia #cyborg #mechanical #transhumanism #the future is now #like for real apparently #good news #hope #Youtube

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astrosky33 · 11 months

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𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍 𝐈𝐍 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒

𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐒 🍁

𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗦𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲 𝗯𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀, 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲

𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 -> 📔

𝗞𝗲𝘆🔑: 𝗣𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲/𝗡𝗲𝘂𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗶𝘁𝘀-○ 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗶𝘁𝘀-○

𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝟏𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞

○ Indicates a long term relationship/friendship - This is because Saturn rules over longevity/old age and the 1st house in Composite rules over the relationship/friendship as a whole

○ Indicates age difference sometimes - Saturn rules over old age which can mean one person is older than the other, often by more than 4 years

○ Your bring out the more responsible, mature, and stable sides of one another - Saturn rules over maturity, responsibility, and stability

○ You will teach each other a lot of challenging lessons about navigating life - Saturn rules over challenging lessons and one of the things the 1st house rules over is outlook on life

○ You have a karmic connection and lots of karmic lessons to work through together - Saturn rules over karma/karmic lessons

○ It can indicate encountering lots of challenges in your relationship/friendship - Saturn rules over challenges/struggles

𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝟐𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞

○ Realistic approach to financial challenges and good at saving money together - Saturn rules over both challenges and restriction. The 2nd house rules over finances

○ You provide each other lots of emotional security - The 2nd house rules over emotional security and Saturn rules over consistency

○ Lots of stability in your relationship/friendship - Both the 2nd house and Saturn rules over stability

○ It could indicate not being giving enough to each other - Saturn rules over lack and one of the things the 2nd house rules over is giving/receiving

○ It could indicate you both cause each other to struggle with your self worth in the relationship or friendship - Saturn rules over challenges/struggles and one the things the 2nd house rules over is self worth

○ It could indicate financial struggles together - Saturn rules over challenges and the 2nd house rules over finances

𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝟑𝐫𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞

○ You’re cautious about what you say to each other - Saturn rules over restriction/caution and the 3rd house rules over speaking

○ You are careful about what you say to other people behind one other’s backs about each other - Saturn rules over restriction/lack and the 3rd house rules over gossip

○ Can indicate you went to school together - Saturn rules over work and the 3rd house represents lower education

○ Lack of similar interests/things in common - Saturn rules over lack and the 3rd house rules over interests

○ Unhealthy communication - Saturn rules over struggles as well as restriction and the 3rd house rules over communication

○ You may not get along with each other’s siblings - Saturn rules over struggles in the relationship in Composite and the 3rd house rules over siblings

𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝟒𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞

○ If worked through can bring a sense of emotional comfort/security that lasts forever - Saturn represents longevity/stability and the 4th house represents comfort

○ Emotional maturity together - Saturn represents maturity and the 4th house represents emotions

○ Lots of effort put into your home life - Saturn rules over effort/hard work and the 4th house represents home

○ Struggles with comforting one another/being comforted - Saturn rules over challenges and the 4th house rules over comfort

○ Can make your home environment be filled with anxiety rather than comfort - Saturn rules over fear and the 4th house rules over home. Saturn’s challenging energy combined with 4th house energy could potentially hurt the comforting/cozy energy homes are supposed to have

○ Struggles caused by family or struggles with getting along with each other’s family’s - Saturn represents challenges/struggles and the 4th house represents family

𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝟓𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞

○ Long lasting romance - Saturn represents longevity and the 5th house represents romance so this can indicate the romantic spark between you two won’t fade

○ Lack of drama in your relationship/friendship - Saturn rules over lack and one of the things the 5th house rules over is drama

○ You both prefer your romance to be private - Saturn rules over restriction/isolation and one of the things the 5th house rules over is attention. You don’t like a ton of attention on your love life together

○ Struggles with sexual pleasure - I don’t often see it manifest this way but at worst it could indicate someone is not being sexually pleased in the relationship since Saturn rules over lack/challenges and the 5th house rules over pleasures

○ Lack of fun/joy/romance together - This placement at worst could make the passionate love/spark die out. Saturn represents lack and the 5th house represents pleasures (not just sexual ones), joy, and romance

○ Childish/immature behavior - Saturn rules over struggle areas in the relationship in Composite and the 5th house rules over childlike energy. This can indicate you bringing out immaturity in each other

𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝟔𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞

○ You work more efficiently when together - Saturn rules over responsibility and the 6th house rules over routine/lifestyle

○ This can indicate being coworkers - Saturn rules over work and the 6th house rules over coworkers

○ One of you (or both of you) could have lost your virginity to one another - Saturn rules over loss and the 6th house rules over innocence

○ You’re overly critical of each other - Saturn rules over struggles and the 6th house rules over analytical nature/judgement. This can indicate being too judgemental of each other

○ Lack of self improvement together and lack of consistency - Saturn rules over lack and the 6th house rules over self improvement as well as consistency. This can indicate once you’re passed the honeymoon phase neither of you seem to be consistent anymore by putting effort into the relationship daily

○ Struggles in your relationship from routines - Saturn rules over struggles/challenges and the 6th house rules over daily routines. This placement can indicate complications are created in your relationship because of your routines. ex: you never get to spend time with one another cuz you’re routines are the complete opposite

𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝟕𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞

○ Long term romantic relationship - Saturn rules over longevity and the 7th house rules over relationships/marriage. This only applies to romantic relationships not platonic ones though

○ Age difference in your relationship - Saturn rules over old age and the 7th house rules over relationships. This can indicate one of you may be much older than the other

○ You’re more hardworking together than apart - Saturn rules over work and the 7th house rules over partnership. You tend to be more efficient when working together

○ Lack of concern for each other - Saturn rules over lack and the 7th house rules over concern for others

○ Karmic relationship or partnership - Saturn rules over karmic lessons and the 7th house rules over romantic relationships as well as partnerships

○ Lack of harmony - Saturn rules over lack and the 7th house rules over harmony

𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝟖𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞

○ Long term deep connection - Saturn rules over old age and the 8th house rules over longevity as well as deep connection/intimacy

○ Long term stability - Saturn rules over stability and the 8th house rules over longevity

○ You’re good at working through transformational periods together - Saturn rules over work/efficiency and the 8th house rules over major transformations

○ Lack of sexual chemistry or struggles with sexual intimacy - Saturn rules over lack and struggles. The 8th house rules over sex as well as intimacy

○ Complications involving joint finances - Saturn rules over challenges and the 8th house rules over shared finances. With this placement it’s best to keep your money separate and not have a joint account

○ Challenges involving death - Saturn rules over challenges. The 8th house rules over death. Ex: My friend had this in a composite chart with her ex bf and they broke up because the death of his mom was causing him a lot of pain and he no longer wanted to be in a relationship

𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝟗𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞

○ Can indicate going to college/uni together - Saturn rules over work and the 9th house rules over higher education

○ Optimism through challenges - Saturn rules over challenges and the 9th house rules over optimism. Even through hard times you’ll still be optimistic when resolving issues

○ Growth from fears - Saturn rules over fears and the 9th house rules over growth

○ Critical of each other’s beliefs - Saturn rules over challenges and the 9th house rules over beliefs. This can cause differences in beliefs which lead to struggles in the relationship/friendship

○ Lack of growth when together - Saturn rules over lack and the 9th house rules over growth. You two will help each other get passed fears you have

○ Struggles in relationship/friendship due to long distance - Saturn rules over struggles and the 9th house rules over travel

𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝟏𝟎𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞

○ You come off to the public as a mature/serious relationship/friendship - Saturn rules over maturity and the 10th house rules over public image

○ Can indicate being committed to one another in a romantic relationship - Saturn rules over commitment and one of the things the 10th house rules over is status (which includes relationship status)

○ Can indicate you work together or have the same career - Saturn rules over working and the 10th house rules over career

○ Challenges in relationship/friendship caused by your career - Saturn rules over challenges and the 10th house rules over career. Someone in the relationship/friendships career could take up too much of their time to where you don’t see each other often

○ Challenges occurring due to father/father figure - Saturn rules over challenges and the 10th house rules over the father. This can mean one of your fathers gets in the way of your friendship/relationship in some way

○ Challenges involving authority - Saturn rules over challenges and the 10th house rules over bosses. This can mean one person causes conflict by being too bossy

𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝟏𝟏𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞

○ You have a serious/mature approach to social situations together - Saturn rules over maturity and the 11th house rules over socialization

○ You prefer to isolate yourself from social situations when together - Saturn rules over isolation and the 11th house rules over socialization

○ You prefer not to post on social media together - Saturn rules over restriction and the 11th house rules over technology

○ Difference in desires which can lead to difficulties in the relationship/friendship - Saturn rules over challenges and the 11th house rules over desires

○ Struggles involving difference in political views - Saturn rules over struggles and the 11th house rules over politics

○ Challenges that come from friendships - Saturn rules over challenges and the 11th house rules over friendships. It can indicate that a friend gets in the way of your friendship or relationship with this person

𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝟏𝟐𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞

○ The relationship/friendship does well in all Saturn related topics - According to Planetary Joy, Saturn is happiest in the 12th house which means the relationship will do well regarding Saturn related topics such as maturity, responsibility, longevity, consistency, effort, etc.

○ Long term relationship/friendship - Saturn also rules over longevity and the 12th house rules over old age so it can mean the relationship (whether it be platonic or romantic) is long lasting

○ Self sacrificing for one other and deep spiritual connection - Saturn rules over reliability and the 12th house rules over spirituality as well as selflessness

○ Difficulties with being apart/attachment issues - Saturn rules over struggles/challenges and the 12th house rules over isolation. One person may struggle to give the other their alone time

○ Secretly disliking certain things in your relationship but never resolving it/discussing it - Saturn rules over challenges and grudges. The 12th house rules over “the hidden”

○ Unexplainable negative vibes - Saturn rules over challenging energy and the 12th house rules over “the hidden”. It can indicate often there will be times in your friendship or relationship where there’s no way for you to explain it but something is off but since you can’t find the source it stays unresolved

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

𝗜 𝗱𝗼 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗱𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗦𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻 𝗮𝗹𝘀𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱𝘀, 𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘆. 𝗜𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲. 𝗦𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽/𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲