#look at me lending myself out to one of sir's friends; I really am easy like he says 🥵💖

[catgirlknighted]

I was being such a good girl play-serving @lovelyspiral this morning 😻💖💜 & yesterday we had ourselves quite a play session too being good girls together 🥴 gods, you're such a lovely playmate!~ Seems like we just can't keeps our hands off each other! 🥰💖💜

[honeypiehotchner]

Deception (John Watson x OFC) -- part sixteen

Hi...uh...you aren’t going to like this part. Or the next. Don’t say I didn’t warn you! The time has come for shit to hit the fan.

Tomorrow.

           Mycroft called and said tomorrow is the day Sherlock returns. Well, the day he plans to reunite with John, that is.

           Apparently Sherlock is already in London, but he needs rest and to clean himself up before he can do anything. Mycroft has managed to make his younger brother agree to rest for the night and not cause any havoc until tomorrow. I’m not even sure why Mycroft did that. Part of me suspects it is his way of being nice, if you can believe it, by giving me one last day with John. But the other part of me wonders if he’s doing it genuinely just for Sherlock.

           His text that followed our phone call did allude to him doing it for me, but not for the reason I want. He wants me to tell John the truth about me on my own. But I can’t do that.

           Speaking of John, he’s been acting more than strange lately. Not in a way that has me concerned for his mental state, but in a way that…I wasn’t expecting.

           Just yesterday he offhandedly mentioned “our” home. As in, a house we’d buy together one day – soon, too, if his tone is anything to go off of. When I asked him about it, he said he was just rambling. But I could tell by his face that he wasn’t.

           If circumstances were different, if I wasn’t who I am and if John—Well, John is perfect. It’s all on me. If I wasn’t undercover. If I wasn’t “retired.” If I wasn’t working for Mycroft. If he and I were a normal couple, I would’ve pressed the conversation further, but I didn’t. Because I don’t know where it might lead and I’m not too sure I’d like to find out.

           I have a feeling in the pit of my stomach of where it might lead and what John might be thinking about. It’s as plain as day. For any normal couple, it’s the obvious next step, especially at our age.

Marriage.

           We can’t marry. Hell, I don’t even know if he will want to speak with me after tomorrow, when Sherlock returns and the truth comes out. I can try to dream all I want and get my hopes up in thinking that John won’t care, that his love for me will wash away the lies, but even I can’t get myself to believe something so foolish.

           He wanted to go out tonight, just to get take-away, but I convinced him to stay in with me and help me cook something. I want one last night of normalcy. One last night of making dinner with the one I love, of sharing glasses of wine and making out on the couch. Which is what I have planned.

           “You know, we could’ve gone out, and then we wouldn’t have all these dishes,” John comments, a smirk on his lips.

           I give him a look as I start the dishwasher. “I just wanted a quiet night in.” I pause. “We can go out tomorrow.”

           “Actually…” John pauses, pulling me forward by my hands until I’m standing in front of him, leaning into his body. “I have a reservation for us.”

           “A reservation?” I question, trying to keep my voice neutral. The wine is helping with that, but my heart is beginning to knock wildly against my ribcage. “Where?”

           “It’s a surprise,” he tells me, squeezing my hands. He presses a kiss to my nose. “And it’s fancy.”

           “Fancy, hm?” I giggle, shaking my head so he’ll stop peppering kisses all over my face. “Why somewhere fancy? You know I don’t mind greasy diners.”

           “Yeah, I know,” he laughs. “But we never get dressed up. I think we should, every once in a while.”

           “Hm,” I nod, wrapping my arms around his torso. I rest my head against his chest, closing my eyes. I know where this is going. And I know I can’t stop it. “What time?”

           “Is seven good?”

           I lift my head to look up at him, smiling. “Seven’s perfect.”

           John lowers his lips to mine, his hand cradling my face, his kiss tender. It’s what I will miss the most when I have to say goodbye.

+++

John wasn’t kidding when he said the reservation he has for us is fancy.

           I wore the fanciest, most expensive dress Mycroft gave me when he gave me these clothes, and I still feel out of place here. John’s in a tux, looking as stunning as ever, and seeing him this way breaks my heart into a million pieces. Still, I keep my smile steady and my hand clasped in his until we’re sitting at our table.

           We look like a proper couple. All around us, tables for two are filled with couples looking hopelessly in love, and we blend right in. Seamlessly.

           “This is too much, John,” I whisper over my menu. “You spoil me.”

           “What else am I good for?”

           I raise an eyebrow cheekily. “I can think of a few things.”

           His eyes widen in surprise, and a soft pink tint dusts his cheeks. I snicker behind the menu, holding it up like a shield against John’s burning gaze.

           “I meant you’re a good listener, get your mind out of the gutter!”

           “I’m sure that’s exactly what you meant,” he replies, disbelief covering his face. “Behave! We’re at a fancy restaurant.”

           “You should’ve known better than to take me out in public,” I tease him, my foot sliding up his leg. “You know how I am.”

           He gives me a warning look, but the fire behind his eyes is unmistakable. “You’ll be the death of me, woman.”

           “That’s the goal,” I grin, retracting my foot back into my own personal space. “I’ve never been here, what do you suggest I get?”

           John is used to my rapid subject changes by now, so he takes it in stride, pointing out a few things he thinks I’d like to eat. There’s a nervous disposition about him tonight, but my little attempt at playing footsie with him has him riled up, no doubt.

           “You know,” I lean forward, probably breaking all rules of etiquette as my elbows rest on the white table cloth. “I don’t think I’ve said it yet tonight, but you look ravishing in that tux.”

           “And you look gorgeous in that dress,” he replies lowly. “Is it new?”

           “Not at all, why?”

           “Just wondering how much you’d miss it if I rip it later.”

           “John Hamish Watson!” I hiss, my cheeks going red. He’s got a grin on his lips like he’s the cat that caught the canary and I want nothing more than to tackle him. “Well played.”

           “Thank you,” he chuckles. His hand reaches across the table, so I let him take mine. “I love you.”

           I can’t help the smile that tugs at my lips. “I love you, too.”

           Out of the corner of my eye, I see a tall figure walking toward us, and my heart practically punches me in the throat. After a moment longer, he turns the other way. I sigh in relief.

           I know today is the day, but does it have to be here? Sherlock must be duller than I thought.

           “Jane,” John says, pulling me back to reality. “I wanted to ask you something.”

           “Okay,” I squeeze his hand, not paying much attention. “What is it?”

           I try my best to focus on John’s words, I really do, but the tall man is back, and it’s definitely Sherlock who is definitely making his way toward our table. I catch a few of John’s praises, something about me being, “the greatest thing” or something, but I’m too busy bracing myself for Sherlock’s inevitable entrance.

           And I was right. Sherlock is duller than I thought.

           He also has an absolutely horrid French accent. “Sir, I think you’ll find this vintage  exceptionally to your liking. It has all of the qualities of the old with some of the color of the new.”

           I can’t help but laugh. Between John’s look of annoyance and Sherlock’s insanely terrible accent, it’s a comedy. A terrible comedy, but one nonetheless.

           “No, sorry, not now, please.” John looks ready to punch him. And I’m afraid it’s only a matter of seconds before he does.

           “Like a gaze from a crowd of strangers,” Sherlock continues, “suddenly one is aware of staring into the face of an old friend.”

           John stands, his fist punching the table and I know it was meant for Sherlock’s face originally, but John has gotten better at handling his temper. I think, at least, until I see the look he gives his not-dead best friend.

           Oh, fuck, we’re doing this now. Right now. Shit. Okay.

           Sherlock removes his glasses – or whoever’s glasses, they’re obviously not his, but that isn’t important – and keeps talking. “Interesting thing, a tuxedo.”

           John looks back at me. My face falls. It’s happening.

           “Lends distinction to friends and anonymity to waiters,” Sherlock says.

           “Sherlock, stop fucking talking,” I hiss, hitting his arm. The last thing I need is these two in the middle of a brawl in London.

           John’s wide eyes turn to me. “You know him?”

           “Hardly,” I scoff.

           But surprisingly, John’s focus isn’t on me knowing Sherlock. It’s on his best friend. He clenches his jaw, and every muscle in his body is being used to hold back from decking Sherlock right here in this restaurant. I’m not sure how long he’ll be able to hold himself back.

           “For two years,” John says shakily. “I thought—I thought, you were dead. Now, you let me grieve,” John says thickly, glaring at Sherlock. “How could you do that? How?”

           “Right, before you do anything that you might regret,” Sherlock says slowly, and he glances at me, as if I’m the one he needs to be worried about right now.

           It’s a momentary lapse where I’m not focused on keeping John’s anger at bay, when John loses it, and tackles Sherlock to the floor.

           It’s a mess. I scramble after them, losing a heel in the process and kicking the other off out of frustration. The owner and I pull John off of Sherlock, which is about as easy as pulling gum out of a five-year-old’s hair, and I shove him away, toward the entrance.

           Sherlock is standing to his feet with a busted lip while I run after John, reaching for his shoulder once we’re outside. John looks as if I’ve slapped him when he turns around to face me.

           “John…” I shake my head, my eyes welling with tears. “Please, love, let me explain.”

           “Explain?” He hisses, taking a step back from me. “You know him. How do you know him? Tell me. Right now, or so help me God—”

           “God’s not going to help you, John,” Sherlock interrupts, pressing his handkerchief to his lip. “And neither is she.”

           John looks ready to lunge at Sherlock’s throat again, so I step in front of him, forcing him to look at me. “Let’s go home. Let’s talk about this.”

           “We’re going to talk about it,” he says firmly. “But we’re not going home. We’re talking right here, right now.”

           “John, please,” I reach for his arm again, catching myself and pulling back. “Not here. Please. We’ve caused a big enough scene as it is. Let’s go someplace else.”

           It takes some convincing, but soon the three of us are walking down the sidewalk to a smaller restaurant. One where we’ll hopefully find some quiet.

           It’s going to be a long night.

[snackadoodle-mingi]

Roommates for life

Characters: Mingi x Y/N

Support: Yeoju x Yunho

Word Count: 2,226

A/N: Short story,, please show some love. dont’t mind the picture above, i can’t see blue haired Yunho together with Mingi.

Chapter 1

--

“Y/N, have you seen that guy? That tall guy with bluish hair?” – Yeoju, my best friend, asked with a wide smile on her face

“What? Who?” I asked, I was busy looking for my pen. We were in line at registration office for 2nd year curriculum.

“That guy” He pointed at the guy who looks like an idol, tall, with white complexion and yes has bluish hair. Yeoju’s eyes are sparkling.

“Oh, I don’t know him, do you know him?” looking at him while he was walking towards the guy that I’ve been liking for the past year. Song Mingi, my blockmate never in my life that I talked to him, he looks intimidating because of his eyes but he’s a soft boi I know it deep in my heart.

“Yes, I know him, he is Jeong Yunho my future boyfriend, he’s bestfriend is your boyfriend in the making” Yeoju smirked and laughed carelessly which resulted that those guys been looking at us.

“Yah! Yeoju-ah, keep your tone down, look! Those guys looking are at us whispering” as I whispered to Yeoju, Mingi’s been looking at me like I’ve killed a person.

 It’s our turn to register to the registration office, we are in window 1 and Mingi and Yunho are in Window 2.

 “Miss Y/N, please write your details here, give it back to me asap” Ms. Registration In charge

“Okay, Miss. Thank you” I am urgently looking for my pen, because the line is getting longer, Yeoju keep on poking me and handed me a pen when I was about to say something, someone spoke:

“Just give it back to me at class” OMG??? Is that M-m-mingi?!! I was dumbfounded and so is Yeoju, we look like someone stolen something from us,, yes our hearts. Just when I was about to say something they walked away and Yunho, smiled at Yeoju.

 Yeoju keep screaming “Y/N! Y/N! Did you saw that? Yunho, oh my god, Yunho smiled at me!!! Today’s going to be a great day!” Yes, it was going to be a great day. I am keeping myself to scream, I’m so happy, that I wanted to call my eomma.

 We were on our way to our classes, take note we we’re smiling from ear to ear, Yeoju’s been jumping and greeting everyone a good morning even though she doesn’t know them. We were looking for our class, new semester, new subjects and new classmates. I am wondering if Mingi and I will be blockmates again. I stopped walking when I realized something.

 “Y/N why did you stopped, are you hungry? Yeoju asked.

“I just realized, Yeoju-yah do you think Mingi recognized me?”

“OMO, he recognized you for sure! Your future boyfriend finally notices you” I’m so happy I wanna cry.

“Yeoju-yah, please hold me, my legs are shaking” She holds me as we arrived to our designated room.

 --

We find a seat near the exit, there’s two vacant seats next to us so we put our bags there so we could sit comfortably, we were writing our details for a subject requirements when someone talked to Yeoju.

 “Hi, is this seat’s taken?” some guy spoke to Yeoju

“Uhmm no, you can have it.” Without looking at them, Yeoju continued to write.

“Yeoju, please lend me your red pen, I forgot to brought my pencil case” someone sit beside me.

“Yeoju, why’d you change your seats, go back to your sit?” no response

“Yeoju-yahhhh” then I look to my left side      

seat -->      I   -  I YJ  I Me I   -   I   exit door  I

“Yeo—Mingi-ssi???!!!!” I was so shocked, I looked to my right, and Yeoju is busy talking to Yunho. That bitch!!!!

“Uhhmm, Hi. Sorry. I didn’t notice you, I thought it was Yeoju” I was nervous. My heart’s about to escape.

“No problem.” Mingi answered.

 “Okay class, I’m professor Kang, this is your first day right? Since you barely know your seatmates take a good look on their beautiful faces, because you’ll be seating with them the entire sem” W-WHAT??? IS THIS FOR REALS???

“What?” classmate#1

“Awwwww” classmate#2

“Okay” classmate#3

Then here’s Yeoju’s response “Thank you, Professor. I love you!”

 The prof chuckled and answered “Looks like you liked where you sit, huh?” he asked to Yeoju.

Yeoju just realized the situation then look at Yunho’s reaction, when he saw Yunho’s smiling, she began to smile from ear to ear.

 “Yeoju, you really are thicked-face, I can’t believe you.” Yeoju just smiled. A smile that will haunt your dreams at night.

“Well, that’s how love works, you know” she points to Mingi using his lips, and I turned to my left to see what he was doing. When I turned, I saw his face so close to mine. Is he looking at me this close?

 Mingi spoke, breaking the ice “Uhm, s-sorry. I was just asking for my pen. If you’re already done using it”

“Ah ah-yes, thank you for lending it to me earlier” I was nervous to death and shy at the same time.

Professor spoke “Students, have you already know your seatmates’ name? Your seatmate will be your group partner for weekly activity, and you’ll be forming groups by four, you decide who will be your group mates. This subject is knowing yourself, so be prepared”

 Yunho spoke “So I guess, the four of us will be group mates?” Yeoju, smiled as expected.

“Yes, I guess so. Is it okay to you Mingi-ssi and Y/N?” Yeoju asked

“Uhmm, I’m okay with it” I answered.

“I’m good with it” Mingi answered, too.

“Great, can we exchange numbers for future purposes?” Yeoju asked. WHAT A THICKED FACE (WHAT A NICE FRIEND)

“Here’s mine Yeoju-ssi 010-1683-xxxx” Yunho willingly gave his number.

“How about you Mingi-ssi?” Yeoju asked enthusiastically. WHO WOULDN”T BE HE HAS HIS CRUSH’S NUMBER???? She looks like she could conquer every problems that will come to her way.

“Here 010-1684-xxxx” Mingi answered, Yeoju saved their numbers to her phone. I pretended that I didn’t see Mingi’s number so I just shrugged.

“Y/N aren’t you going to save their numbers?” Yeoju asked innocently.

“Ahh, I will. Wait let me take my phone” I start to copy Yunho and Mingi’s number and when I finished saving them, Mingi spoke.

“Call me.” Mingi said. I was dumbfounded, so as Yunho and Yeoju.

“Huh? Pardon?” o.O

“Call me now, so I could save your number” IS THE GATE OF HEAVENS OPENING?

“Uhhm—okay” what was that???

**dialing Seatmate Mingi-ssi**

Mingi peeked at my phone “Seatmate Mingi-ssi?”

“Huh?” confused me

“I got your number Y/N-ssi” Mingi answered.

I am dumbfounded, my soul has left my body. Yeoju has been poking my cheeks. I AM HAPPY!!!!!

 “Sir, can you please explain how we can decide to group ourselves into two?” some girl at class spoke

“tf isn’t that’s too easy?” -  Yeoju mumbled, but duh she is right. It’s easy.

“For example….” Prof looking at us

“You, Mr. Tall boy sitting next to exit, please stand up” prof asked Mingi to stand up. So Mingi, stood up.

“Who do you think your partner is?” Prof asked. So we are looking at him. God, my neck is aching this boy sure is tall.

“This girl, Y/N-ssi” points at me

“Miss Y/N-ssi please stand up, why do you think Mingi-ssi picked you as his partner?” my confused self, answered.

“Because Mingi like her” Yunho whispered to Yeoju, those two scumbag laughed like I didn’t heard anything

“Because I sat beside him?” I answered

“Yes, you are right. You two may seat down” Prof answered. Before he proceed to explain our groupings. He said something that made Yeoju scream like a murderer.

“By the way Ms.Y/N and Mr. Mingi, you sure don’t know each other? You look so good together.” Professor smiled.

“Yass!!!!” Yeoju screamed, Yunho laugh like there’s no tomorrow. Me and Mingi? WE ARE SHOCKED WE CAN’T LOOK AT EACH OTHER.

 “Okay that’s it for today, guys. See you next class”

“Bye, Sir Kang” We bid our good bye to our prof.

“Bye, Y/N and Yeoju-yah. See you next class” Yunho said. This guy is so good looking.

“Annyeong, Yunho-yah. See you! Bye bye Mingi-ssi” Yeoju said, this girl sure is a flirt. Lol I also bid my good bye to Yunho-ssi..and Mingi

“See you next class, Mingi-ssi. Thank you again for lending me your pen”

“No problem, see you too, Y/N-ssi. Yunho-yah let’s go, stop flirting.” Yunho was startled and stopped talking to Yeoju. Wow they are that close already?

 “Y/N, aren’t we so lucky today? Our crushes talked to us, is our classmates, our seatmates and most importantly we have their numbers. Aren’t we God’s favorite child?” YES GOD REALLY LOVES US FOR BLESSING US TODAY!!!

“Yes Yeoju-yah! I’ve been keeping myself from screaming. I am so happy, Mingi-ah my long time crush finally notices me.” I wanna cry.

“Girl, are you crying?” Yeoju asked while we are walking outside campus

“Huh? No. Btw, Yeoju what was that earlier?”

“What did I do?” Yeoju asked

“You yelled ‘Yass’ what were you thinking, are you insane?” Yeoju burst out laughing, her water spilled because of her demonic smile

“What? I’m just happy that our Prof has good eyes for seeing the best couple next to Yun-Ju” Yeoju proudly announce their love team.

“Whatever, Mingi-ssi doesn’t like me, so quit it. Let’s go pack our things; we have to find room to rent.” Yeoju fought with our landlord because one of her son flirted with her and when she rejected him he got mad, then he tell his mother crazy things that we are bringing boys to our dorm so we got kicked out. DUH how is that even possible??

 So while walking, we saw an advertisement posted on the bus shed.

“Yeoju-yah look, someone is looking for Roommates. Wanted 2 Roommates, preferably studying at Now University please call 010-1685-xxxx for more inquiries” wow this is amazing, God is really great, his blessings are coming to us non-stop.

“Call them now, we need to found a place as soon as possible, and I hope that room is affordable too”

“Okay, I’m going to call them now”

**dialing 010-1685-xxxx*

*ring ring*

*ring ring*

*ring ring*

*finally picks up*

*woman answered*

 “Hi, good afternoon. We saw your advertisement regarding the room for rent, is it still available?”

“Hi yes, it is still available, are you studying at N.U?” ahjumma asked

“Yes, we are 2nd year college students” I answered, I heard ahjumma chuckled. Did she say “thank goodness?”

“Okay, I’ll text you the address. I’ll expect you anytime soon. Thank you”

“Yes, thank you too.” Ends call.

 “Yeoju, ahjumma texted the address let’s go there now.”

“Okay. Gajaaaa!” Yeoju-yah exclaimed she sure is happy.

 *clicks doorbell*

*woman with primitive eyes opened the door*

 “Annyeong, are you the lady who called earlier?” ahjumma asked, she is beautiful, she remind me of someone. She looked at me shocked for a second.

“Ah yes, I’m Y/N, 2nd year college from Now University”

“Hi imu, my name’s Yeoju, Kim Yeoju.”

“I’m sorry I forgot to introduce myself, my name is Song Hae Won, I’m the owner, but the room isn’t here, it resides near your school. I just wanted to meet you both, well, when do you want to move there?”

“ASAP, imu” Yeoju answered.

Ahjumma chuckled “Okay, here’s the key. You can move today or tomorrow I’ll just inform my two tenants there, don’t worry those 2 are good people.” This imu is so good; imagine she already gave the keys without talking about the payment first. And take note, she said we can pay her by the end of the semester.

 “Thank you so much, imu. We’ll visit you some time.” Yeoju said

“Thank you ahjumma, you are so kind, can you please adopt us?” Ahjumma laughs, swear she resemble someone I know, I just can’t remember who.

“Y/N and Yeoju-yah can you please call me, eomma or imu, I’ve always wanted to have a daughter.” Imu said.

“Yes, we can Haewon eomma!” Yeoju and I shouted.

 After talking with each other and eating some cookies Haewon eomma baked, we headed to our old dorm to get our stuff so we could move in with the new house.

 After packing we decided to move out of that hell of a room, and it’s already 8pm we need to hurry up so we wouldn’t disturb our roommates when we get there. We’re very excited.

 “Yeoju, don’t you think Haewon eomma resembles someone?” I asked because I can’t move on, my mind’s keep thinking who it was

“Y/N, yah I know, I just can’t say his name” yeoju-yah answered,, we kept thinking until we realized that we arrived at the house.

 Yeoju ring the doorbell when I screamed.

“Yeoju-ah! I know who resembles eomma!” the door slowly opens

“It’s Mingi-ssi!” Yeoju shouted, she is facing the door while I was facing at her sidewards.

“Yes! Haewon eomma, resembles Mingi-ssi” I happily shouted because they really resembles each other

“No, Y/N. It’s Mingi, look” Yeoju points at the man who opened the door.

“What are you talking abou----? WHATTTT?!” MINGI IS THE ONE WHO OPENED THE GODDAMN DOOR

 Mingi is our roommate? Someone slap me hard please. Is this real???

To be continued...

[buttercup-of-kaer-morhen]

Of Thorns and Buttercups

~Ch 5/?~

(Beauty and the Beast AU, Kiiiinda. It has definite elements of the original story cause I’m a sap for Fairytale AUs. I hope you enjoy. Also shout out to @sophiakuso1 for being my beta. Here you can find Beginning or Previous) Geralt tries to figure out how to break the curse while battling with his feeling this time.

Note: Lew is pronounced Lef because it is polish just as a heads up.

Primary Tags: Beast! Geralt, Belle! Jaskier, Memory Alteration Via Curse, It really only affects Jaskier right now Also on AO3!

————————-

Geralt sat in the destroyed room that night after dinner, staring at the cage. He was specifically trying to not think about the fact that not only was the bard trapped in the cursed castle with him, but the bard also somehow lost his memory, most likely due to said curse… and it was all Geralt’s fault. The guilt swirling around in his chest was sickening and unwelcome. He just kept dragging the bard down with him. Geralt ran circles through his mind trying to figure out what he should do about the whole damn thing. After a while, he decided that it would be better at that point if he were to just stay away from the man as best as he could. If he did, then Jaskier would slowly realize he was wasting his time on a monster like Geralt, just like on the mountain. Geralt just had to figure out how to get Jaskier past the thorn vines keeping them imprisoned, but the witcher had a sinking feeling that it would require the curse being broken.

Geralt sighed, finally looking away from the silvered metal vines trapping the cluster of buttercups and realized the moon was high in the sky, much further in its journey than when he had fetched the bard to eat. It felt like he was not only losing time, but it also couldn’t move any slower. Watching the clock or trying to solve a problem in his head to pass the time was like watching tree sap drip in winter, but if he got lost in his thoughts, it flew by without him realizing. The memory of the almost completely dead rose and the warning of petals falling had dread creeping up his spine. He had a limit on his time, whether it was choosing to go fast or slow, until who knows what would happen, and it was all very similar to waiting in a dungeon for his own execution. Except this time, he had a bard to drag to his death with him and he had no idea where to even start to try and stop it… Except the weird journal! 

He wanted to smack himself for almost forgetting about its existence. He quickly collected the small book again and settled back onto the edge of the bed. He first flipped through, discovering that it was a journal of someone of the castle rather than magical notes or something of actual use, and oddly enough it only had the first few pages written in. Although it was just a journal, it reeked of magic, as did everything else in this place, which irked him a bit. Would nothing be easy?! A magical personal journal was most likely useful, but he didn’t know how yet until he actually read the damn thing. He sighed before settling further into the nest of fabric so he could at least be comfortable while slogging through the first entry that was most likely fraught with exaggerations he’d have to weed through. He did hope that more pages would fill as he read however, because perhaps there were magical inscriptions and spells on later pages… He could only hope. 

[The Date is Unreadable]

The years grow long since I came to my lord’s court and was given the honor of my knighthood. We have fought many battles side by side and I have completed every task, be it political or mundane, which he has given me. Although this life leaves me fulfilled, I feel as though I am missing something. I crave the companionship of another outside that of my fellow knights, my lord, and the countries that seem ever present now. Although the ladies I have been introduced to as of late are fine of figure and mind, none fill the hollow feeling that has steadily grown in my chest. 

I almost thought all hope was lost when while I was in the village today, I came upon the fairest maiden I had ever laid eyes upon. Her delicate features and poise rivaled that of any woman I have encountered across the lands on my travels. Her timid and delicate disposition only lends to her outward appearance, for as soon as I caught sight of her eyes, I could see the wild freedom that burned within. The fierce look called out to me and it lit my soul ablaze, but before I could make my way to her across the market, she was gone. Now I am haunted by the ethereal grace the lady has left instilled in my mind. 

It is not my will to cage or steal away her free spirited nature. I only wish to partake in it with her so I may feel alive like I once did while seeing the world in a new light provided by her fire. I plan to go to my lord upon the sun’s arrival and I will beseech him to help me find her so that I may earn the permission from her family so I may be allowed to court her. I pray this evening for everything to work in favor of us all. 

Geralt sighed heavily through his nose as his head fell back against the plush and he looked at the elaborate ceiling above. So far it was exactly what he feared it would be, the over-dramatized tellings of some Knight’s life that reads more like one of those sappy romantic tales Jaskier would constantly rave or sing about rather than an actual succinct telling of events. He couldn’t understand how any of this connected to the curse, but he begrudgingly decided to read on and see where he ended up. 

[The Date is Also Unreadable on this Entry]

 The leaves on the trees have turned to the colors of fire, and the world looks as though it has been set ablaze. I have only just returned from meeting with a neighboring lord, during which time I have gone nearly half a season without even a name of my lady love. Oh how she still torments my heart day and night with her absence. It is as though she has bewitched me, and I have no hold over my own self at present. My mind is filled almost entirely by her, and my only wish, if I am unable to win her affection, is to formally meet her. 

My lord sent word that he would make enquiries on my behalf while I was away and now that I have returned, anticipation steals my breath. My fellow knights jest that I  should have followed the path of a bard for how I constantly prattle on at them, waxing poetic of her spirit and sketching her form  from memory, as we travel between our destinations. Although I know it is only light fun on their part, I find myself getting sentimental as I ever grow closer to the middle of my life. I wonder deep in the night whether I would have been more suited to another life but, it is quickly dismissed as nonsensical at this stage. My lord has also made mention, as we are good friends, he feels as though we are practically brothers with how much trust he allows me, and he will be glad to hire me as the official court bard if a change of profession ever truly struck my fancy. They all mock kindly but it warms me at my core to know there are those in my life who indulge my whims. 

Still, Sir Gregor questions why I will not simply give my heart to one of the many ladies of the court  who fancy me, and proclaims me mad in the head for not doing so. I have given up on trying to explain the incredible sensation she has left within me. He will never understand such yearning and passion that has filled me since I took the sight of her in for the first time. I feel pity for the man, but as I rest tonight, I hold hope in my heart for what my lord has to say come morning. 

Geralt found reading this to be akin to dying slowly. Plodding through someone’s desperate yearning was the worst torture he has had to endure yet but at least there was something that hinted at magic in this passage. Geralt also observed that several pages were sketches of a beautiful woman with light hair, tawny skin, and dark eyes. He could not tell if the drawings were exaggerated by the knight’s besottment or if the woman could have possibly been fae or magic of some kind, glamoured just enough to hide the obvious parts while maintaining unnatural beauty. It could have explained why the curse magic was so strong and tricky. Magic was tricky in general, but fae magic was notoriously known for being a bitch, and he had been warned off from meddling in their affairs a long time ago for that exact reason… Now, here he was, knee deep in the shit. He’d have to figure it out one way or another. Deciding he’d be better off just reading the damn thing to completion rather than dithering on about what it could be, he turned his attention back to the book.

To his frustration, the rest of the pages remained blank. Unable to hold in his anger from hitting one road block after another, he threw the damned thing across the room with a growl and it landed with a satisfying rustle of paper before sliding somewhere out of sight. Unable to stand laying around anymore, he got up and began pacing through the quarters barely containing his aggravation. He wondered what to do now. That had been his last lead other than the meaningless riddle the beast had given him. He wanted to go out and train so he could take his frustrations out on something, but no, Jaskier was out there thinking he was just some random beast, and Geralt really didn’t want to add to the image his form presented currently. He wanted to break the curse, but he kept hitting wall after wall! He wanted… No. He needed someone to help him fix this entire mess, but there was no way for him to contact anyone other than the man who no longer remembered him. No wolves or powerful witches or plucky bards who glued themselves to Geralt’s side day and night were there to help him this time around. 

“Fuck…” The defeated syllable slipped from his lips as he sank to the cold stone floor while holding his face in his hands, the fur feeling strange but increasingly familiar under his touch… Jaskier had called him a beast. Geralt had never thought the bard would ever-- He had been the only one who hadn’t ever called the witcher a monster or recoiled at the sight of him. On the contrary, he would often defend Geralt from villagers who called him vile names, and even went as far as to attack the truly aggressive offenders… But now the Witcher was a beast with no name. The bard’s voice uttering the word kept repeating over and over again in his head. Geralt only had himself to blame. If he hadn’t yelled, if Jaskier had still been by his side, then maybe the troubadour would have never lost his memories. 

He had been so caught up in his own spiraling thoughts, Geralt almost didn’t notice the other voice suddenly filling the room. “Oi! Mopin’ about are we?” The warbled feminine voice cleaved through the once silent space but it came from seemingly nowhere as he scanned the area. Getting up, he searched as the squawking continued up until the point he came into view of a fractured mirror that had been hidden behind a moth eaten drape. As he looked in confusion at the mirror, due to the fact that the reflection was certainly not his own, the visage of the old hag from the town moaned in disappointment and shook her head at him from behind the reflective silver backed surface. “You fool Witcher! I-- I sent you to break the curse, not become cursed yourself, you nitwit!” She scolded with an exhausting scowl. If she were in her youth, he was sure she would remind him of Yen in some ways. 

He couldn’t help growling in frustration as he met her steely scowl with his own. “How was I expected to break a curse you refused to give me proper information on?! And you seem to still have some magic, so why not do it yourself if you knew how to?!” He tried to keep himself from snarling at the hag, but she was infuriating and the worry, as well as the earlier frustrations, were just compiling together. 

She took a moment to settle herself before sighing and gathering her thoughts, he assumed. In a calmer tone, she spoke again. “I cannot tell you about the curse in depth… Only pieces, and I cannot go there like yourself.” Her voice slowly became graver as she spoke and looked him directly in the eye. No lie then…

He grit his teeth before saying anything else, more civilly as Jaskier would have called it. “Why?”

“I just can’t… but I can help you as best as I can. This ain’t your curse, but you’re stuck with it--” It suddenly occurred to him that her accent was different from when they had met in her old shack which was… Odd.

“I know. I’m the making of my own curse. The beast said it before he died. Also, why do you sound different now?” He interrupted her as his annoyance rose again. 

“Shut it, you daft tit! Don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to help!” She spat at him, shaking a frail fist at him from behind the glass while once again scowling at him. Then after a beat, she continued. “Came to these lands years ago from far off and regretted it. Folks don’t take kindly to those different, so I glamoured my voice.” She clarified with an eye roll. Yup. Definitely Yen if she were to ever age. 

He chewed over the words as he felt some of the tension seep away. “Fair… So what can you tell me that will actually be useful?” He asked, sagging slightly, the memory of Jaskier looking at him in fear and no recognition was still a fresh would in his mind. 

“Hmmmmm… Though the curse is harsh, it’s not cruel. Born of grief it was…” The hag looked as though she were fighting her own mouth before she sighed once again. “Although it imprisons, it’ll give you everythin’ you need to break the curse. Don’t be a fool. If anythin’ appears there, then it’s for a reason. Make use of it or dither till you die in a prison of your own design. Only you can figure why you’re cursed.” She spoke critically but at least it was something useful to which he nodded in thanks thinking that her image would fade then. “Witcher! If you’re in dire straits, knock thrice on the looking glass and think o’ where you wanna see, or to whom you wish to speak. Only I’ll be able to answer back, however.” She offered hastily and after he nodded again, she was gone in a blink of an eye. The mirror now only held his own beastly reflection. 

He mulled over the words, realizing the night had grown long after that disaster of a dinner and it was now the witching hour; If he didn’t try to sleep now, then he would be tired and upset the next day, and he really didn’t need himself snapping at the bard again in misplaced irritation. So, he laid in the shredded nest of a bed and thought more on Jaskier. If he was brought here for a reason, then why steal his memories? And why would Geralt ever curse himself? Perhaps the magic was twisting a subconscious thought from the back of Geralt’s mind into something strange and problematic. But still, why the bard of all people? He drifted into an uneasy sleep thinking about all the new information. 

When he woke, the world was bright outside the crystalline windows, and there was a fuzziness to the world that followed waking from a deep sleep. The room was better around him, healed of the scars of broken and shattered furniture. He supposed this had been what the hag had spoken of; the keep was providing things slowly. He moved through the morning muzzy headed, letting his body rely on muscle memory as he went through several tasks of morning preparation. His head was clearer by the time he visited Roach in the stables where she waited patiently to be tended to and given exercise. He saddled her and checked it twice over before seating himself in the saddle… which was odd, seeing as he was so much bigger now that he was cursed, but she made no indication that he was too heavy or bothersome. The fogginess was back and his concerns evaporated as he rode out into the fiery forest. The foliage in hues of red and orange rushed past as he went further and further, nearing the small hidden lake between the castle and the town. Its waters shone gold as though the water were a dragon’s hoard of coin and riches in the early hours, but the beauty of it could not compare to the figure standing at it’s banks. 

Geralt barely remembered getting down from Roach or silently moving forward to observe the figure more closely, but then his mind cleared again and realization washed over him that the figure was in fact Jaskier. The bard was peacefully gazing out at the calm waters, but he wore odd clothing that Geralt swore he had never seen him in before. Instead of his usually short doublet, he wore a well fitted jacket of some sort that trailed all the way to the floor in the back and the front, but had slits up to the hips to show his well fitted trousers and tall boots. A part of it irked Geralt to no end, because it looked good, but strange and unlike the man at the same time. It was all reminiscent of a dress yet not. It was almost a coat he could imagine Yen wearing, but the garments were a soft blue trimmed in accents of red. It was a nostalgic reminder of Jaskier’s outfit from when they first met. 

The situation was so bizarre that Geralt wanted to question what was happening but before he could think, his body took an unconscious step forward snapping a twig under his heel. Jaskier’s coat whirled around him as he spun and caught sight of him, but there was no fear in his eyes, only confusion and curiosity. “Apologies my lady, I did not mean to frighten you. I was merely curious when I spotted a figure as I rode passed. Are you all right?” What the fuck was that? Geralt understood that it was his voice that spoke but the words were not his own. Icy understanding filled his gut and he knew now that this obviously had something to do with magic. 

“Very kind of you sir. I was just wanting to enjoy the still beauty of the morning and happened upon this lake.” Jaskier smiled brilliantly at him, his voice sounding exactly how Geralt remembered but there was an edge to it that sounded off. Unnatural. This was definitely not Jaskier. 

“I… I’ve seen you in the town but I’ve never had the pleasure to meet your acquaintance in person. I hoped to speak with you, if not just hear your name. I am Lew.” Geralt introduced himself with a foreign name. That was definitely not his name, and he hated how it felt coming out of his mouth, but he seemed to have no control over himself. With dawning horror, Geralt now understood that this was someone else's memories that he was now occupying. It could have been Jaskiers, or someone else from the castle, or even the writer of the journal. Geralt couldn’t be sure yet, and the bard couldn’t be ruled out immediately since the witcher realized he knew practically nothing of Jaskier’s past… It just kept getting messier and messier as he was dragged further into the spell. Whoever wove the threads of this magic somehow got it completely tangled into a ball of shit. 

“Ania. I have only come to live here a year or so ago, which is why we most likely have yet to meet formally.” Jaskier spoke in an amused tone, but Geralt was pretty damn sure that was not his bard’s real name. It was Jaskier. Maybe it wasn’t the bard’s memories after all. Geralt was going to have a difficult time remembering this was not actually the bard himself then but only the spell filling in a face with someone he knew. It was already getting so confusing in his mind, so Geralt decided to just keep using the name attached to the face he knew instead of using the ones he’d heard. Deciding it wouldn’t do much good to fight the memory, he settled in and let everything happen around him. The troubadour looked so much softer now than when they were ever on the road though. It made something in his chest flutter, but he was unsure if it was actually him or the owner of the memory feeling it. 

The witcher found himself wanting to say more, ask more about Jaskier, but the words had left him and his mouth refused to work. It felt like it was his only chance and it was fleeting right before his eyes. The strange visage of the bard suddenly looked off into the distance behind himself before returning a sheepish look to Geralt. “I… I have to go.” His voice was hesitant as Geralt slowly reached a hand out to the man, as if not wanting the bard to leave, but still unable to find the words. Jaskier smiled gently, before biting his lower lip as though he were trying to decide something. The witcher didn’t understand why he was paying such close attention to everything Jaskier did but he was. “I hope our paths cross again, Lew.” And with that, the man fled into the forest with his jacket fluttering behind him.  Geralt would have followed, curious as to if this person was human or not and get answers, but it would appear that the original “Lew” had been frozen with indecision in that moment. His heart raced, which felt strange to Geralt, but then things melted away and the Witcher was once again opening his eyes to the sunlight streaming through the windows. This time however, the room was still destroyed and the light was the cold shine of a winter morning. Geralt found himself staring up at the ceiling in complete bafflement, unable to really understand what the curse could have possibly thought he’d glean from that experience. He sat up in a huff and couldn’t help the puff of agitated words that slipped out of his throat. “What the fuck…” Then he was out of the chambers and headed for the stables to tend to Roach. If anything calmed him down and helped him to organize his thoughts, it was quality time with the mare.

[shirleenshamsie]

Shouta Aizawa x reader

You sighed as you pulled off your long black wig and set it on its stand. "hey Affi," you cooed as your cat jumped on the bathroom counter to greet you. "let me just take off my makeup and I'll get you dinner." You gave her a kiss on the head as you scratched behind her ears, making her purr loudly. You watched yourself in the mirror as you wiped off your lipstick and eyeliner, silently noting everything you'd have to change for tomorrow. It was your first day at UA and you'd be lying if you said you weren't scared shitless. You put food in Affi's dish and a little more water in her bowl before throwing together a lunch and breakfast-to-go and throwing both in your mini fridge. Finally, you stretched as you laid down on your bed. Affi jumped up and curled up against your side as you turned on light classical music to help you sleep and your alarms to make sure you didn't miss your first day.

You stood at the front gate with anticipation. You choose not to wear your wig and instead showed your short light purple hair. You wore a plain dust mask with the excuse of bad allergies and anxiety, but it was really to hide your face. You took a deep breath, hitched your backpack up and started into the building. Class 1-A. You waere a few minutes early, quickly finding a seat at the back of the room. You took out your notebook and a pen and waited with anticipation. You were surprised when the teacher walked in caring a sleeping bag. Jeez, he looks as tired as you feel, but there was a rugged charm about him that caught your attention. 'Shuota Aizawa, I like it. Wait, fuck, what am I thinking? I shouldn't even be thinking about that, he's my teacher, he just sees a high schooler and it needs to stay that way.’ You let out a quiet, frustrated sigh, mussing your hair under your hat so it covered your eyes more.

We were all led outside to do physical tests to test the limits of our quirks. Of course, you were at a disadvantage from everyone else, your quirk is mental. You effectively failed the combat part of the entrance exam but aced the written portion. You got pulled into a meeting after the entrance exams where your quirk was tested, and they accepted you. Now we’re supposed to use our quirks to show how physically powerful or strong we are? This is stupid. You gotta be honest, you’ve heard rumors that Aizawa is a tough but good teacher, but this is disappointing. How can he be a teacher here and not understand that not every powerful quirk is physical? Nevertheless, you held your own in most of the tests, you’re not a slob so you were above average in many areas so far. Mr. Aizawa’s words echoed in your head during these tests. ‘I was going to be expelled on the first day. Maybe if I can just do better than Midoriya…’

“F/N L/N.” Mr. Aizawa stopped you as you were walking up to take your turn on the long jump.

“Yes, sir?” You lowered your head but kept eye contact with his as he spoke.

“You don’t need to hold back your quirk in these tests, you can do what you need to do to perform your best.” He spoke in what we quickly learned was his trademark bored tone.

“With all due respect,” You broke eye contact and looked at the ground in front of you. “these tests are unfairly biased to people with physically powerful quirks. Not all powerful or useful combat quirks are physical.”

“What is your quirk exactly, your file only says ‘Soul capture’, explain it.”

“I can take someone’s soul out of their body and hold it captive in my mind. Conversely I can also force my own soul into someone else’s body and control it as my own.” The class filled with murmurs as people talked about your quirk, but you couldn’t quite hear what they were saying.

“Hmm.” Mr. Aizawa thought for a moment before turning to the class causing them to silence instantly. “Does anyone want to volunteer to lend Miss L/N their body?”

“Wait, what!?” You yelp in shock. The class stayed quiet for a moment before Iida stepped forward.

“I’ll do it, it would be very interesting to see personally how this works.” He said standing tall.

“Good, L/N, lets see what you can do.” Mr. Aizawa stepped back as Iida approached you.

“What happens to me when you . . . possess me?”

“U-um, it’s like going to sleep for you, you won’t remember anything. A-are you sure you’re okay with this? I mean, I can figure it out myself if you don’t fee-“

“It’s okay Y/N, just don’t kill me,” he gave a halfhearted chuckle, but you could tell he was a little nervous about this.

“I promise I won’t.” You reach up and put a hand on his shoulder, activating your quirk.

 Third person POV

The class watched in anticipation as Y/N put her hand on Iida’s shoulder and her eyes turned black with glowing red iris’s. Without warning, Y/N’s body went limp as Iida effortlessly caught her in one arm before he looked at the other, balling his hand into a fist and stretching his fingers out again. He gently laid Y/N’s body on the ground before walking to the start line and quickly stretching his legs. The class watched him get in position, close his eyes with a deep breath, before running even faster than he was before and taking a leap. They watched in amazement as he jumped much further than his first jump, but it wasn’t really Iida, it was Y/N in there doing the jumping.

“Woah, she did better in Iida’s body than he did in his own body!” Uraraka exclaimed.

“Good, now give Iida his body back.” Mr. Aizawa stated as he made scribbles in a folder,

Y/N walked back over to her unconscious body and got down on her knees before Iida’s body slumped and Y/N’s body started moving again.

Iida groaned slightly before looking around. “Did something go wrong? Did it not work?”

“It worked just fine, L/N told you that you wouldn’t remember anything.” Mr. Aizawa stated before calling up the next person.

 Reader POV

You told Iida what you had done while you were possessing his body as the rest of the class continued the long jumps. You explained the ergonomics of what you had done compare to his own jump as well as a few other tips to make his movements even more efficient.

“I never thought about doing it quite like that, I’ll be sure to remember that. Thank you, Y/N.”

Class finished smoothly after that, Mr. Aizawa didn’t pressure you to possess anyone else for the tests which you were thankful for, you don’t like possessing others unless you must. The whole class was relieved when Mr. Aizawa said he was bluffing when he said he was going to expel the student in last place.

“Miss L/N, I need to speak with you.” He stated as everyone gathered their belongings to leave. Well crap, that’s never a good sign. Even you knew that, and this is your first time going to school. You slowly approach his desk as the last of your classmates exit the room. “Relax L/N, I’m not going to bite you (OH WHAT A LIE!!! Sry). I wanted to talk to you about your quirk and this class.”

“Yes sir?”

“I want to make sure you realize you are going to have to work harder than your classmates in a lot of areas because your quirk is not physical. Are you going to be okay with that?”

“Yes sir, I know my quirk isn’t flashy or anything, but I’m still determined to stay at UA no matter what’s thrown at me. And you’re proof that you don’t need a showy quirk to be a pro hero.” I looked down as my face headed up. Am I blushing? Thank god for this mask! You look up and to your surprise Mr. Aizawa was trying to hide a light blush on his own face.

“Good, well as long as you know this won’t be easy for you. I’ll see you tomorrow then.” He stood up grabbing a stack of papers and left the room.

Did he blush at my compliment? He’s probably not used to compliments, he’s so cold to everyone they probably don’t try to talk to him much unless they need to. You wonder how he’d react to a more direct compliment, what would go through his mind? You shook your head and tried to clear the thoughts of him. You look at your watch. Yeah, I got time to stop for food before getting ready for work.

Aizawa POV

This has never been an issue for me. That felt like an honest comment of admiration which I don’t often deal with so directly. But what’s really causing me an issue is the feelings stirred inside of me, they’re unfamiliar and I don’t like that. Get your mind out of the gutter, I’m not a pervert or pedo, but something is different about her. She’s very… mature. She may look 15 or 16 especially with that mask and her shy act but there’s no way she’s actually that young. That mask somehow makes her shy act a lot more adorable… wait WHAT?? NO! Stop thinking about that you idiot and do your work!!

I grunted as I hit my head on the table before running my hand through my hair and pulling the stack of papers closer to me.

 Your POV

You finish stuffing the food in your mouth as you slip into the bar, holding your long cloak shut and clutching your bag to your chest. The bar wasn’t open for the night yet, so you relaxed as you headed for the stairs.

“Oh Y/N” you hear the velvet baritone voice sing.

“Not now Haru, I need to get ready for work.” I called behind me as I ran down the stairs.

“Then I’ll help, darling we both know if I let you dress yourself, you’d look homeless.” He said as he followed.

Is it possible to be any more of a queen? You thought to yourself. “Fine, only cuz I don’t want to hear your comments all night.” You say as you took off your mask, hat, cloak and start undoing your uniform. You had no issues getting undressed in front of Haruto Takumi, I mean why would it bother you? He is your designated gay best friend after all. Plus, he’s right, you have no sense of style. He’s also the only one that knows you falsified records to get into UA and is all in with helping you lead your double life. You know full well it’s partially for selfish reasons though.

“Soooooooo?” He asks excitedly as he pulls out a monster truck shirt with a methodically torn back and a pair of ripped skinny jeans.

“Sooo?” You ask playing dumb.

Haru dramatically throws the clothes down on the bed as you head to the bathroom to ready your wig. “Did you get to see him? All Might? Is he as breathtaking in person? How tall is he? How big is he? Not down there, I wanna find that out on my own, I mean like his muscles, his pecks, are his abs really like a washbo-“

“DUDE! You really need to get yourself a boyfriend. Seriously, I’m not answering those questions for you.” You say, stepping out with your long, wavy black wig now secured on your head.

“Ugh, can you at least get a picture with him so I can get an idea?”

“He’s five foot four in real life.” You state bluntly as you pulled the shirt on.

“WHAT?? NO, THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE!” Haru looked heartbroken for a second before you burst out laughing.

“We haven’t met him yet, but you should have seen your face just now.”

“You bitch. You can finish getting yourself ready for that. You know you have to sing tonight right? Did you get the setlist?” He asked from the door.

“Yeah, thanks.” You grumbled. You really love singing and music, but you’re expected to sing a specific … kind of music (think in this moment, blood, whore, sick like me, ect.). You have fun performing but you wish the music was almost anything except that stuff, it grinds at you after a while not to mention the strain on your voice to scream all the time. Your primary job here is security, with your efficient hand to hand combat skills not to mention your quirk, the owner was practically begging you to work for him after seeing you in an underground fight. ‘You’re pretty, you look pretty harmless, and you can quickly take down a bunch of aggressors, exactly what I need.’ Was more or less what he said. You said sure and started working there after your 18th birthday so it was all legal. That was almost two years ago now and you couldn’t believe it. You hummed to Affi as you put your lip ring back in and applied makeup before giving her a small snack and heading to work.

__________

If you want to read more please go to my wattpad, I’m going to try to continue the story there. 

https://www.wattpad.com/866712246-yours-truly-first-day-of-school

 Thank you :)

[welcometothepenumbra]

SECOND CITADEL – THE SPIRAL SAGE (PART TWO)

SOUND: RAIN. TRAIN ARRIVES, CREAKS TO A STOP. DOOR CLANKS OPEN.

CONDUCTOR: Ah, good evening, Traveler. And welcome… to The Penumbra.

SOUND: DOOR CLANKS SHUT.

Take your seat, please, take your seat.

MUSIC: STARTS.

The junction lies ahead, so if you’ll allow me just a moment.

SOUND: TRAIN WHISTLE.

We are now passing through the shores of the Terminus.

SOUND: TRAIN MOVING.

Our next stop?

SOUND: TRAIN BRAKES.

The Spiral Sage.

SOUND: DOOR CLANKS OPEN, RAIN.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

***

SOUND: SWAMP AMBIANCE.

SIR ANGELO: (FADING IN) …You are certain that the lizard’s tracks lead this way, friend Talfryn?

TALFRYN: Sir Angelo, I already said that there aren’t any tracks.

ANGELO: Well, do you suppose you could find some?

TALFRYN: I’ve been looking, but… (SIGHS) If the monster that took Rilla’s as sneaky as Sir Damien says, it can probably move through its habitat without leaving tracks.

ANGELO: Well… have we tried teamwork yet? That always seems to win the day. Sir Damien, do you have some insight that might prove useful?

SIR DAMIEN: A monster with a heart… it isn’t possible, but how can I deny what I saw in his eyes, or in that hound?

ANGELO: Perhaps something that when combined with my strength, or, Sir Talfryn’s height—

DAMIEN: Or even in those nymphs, in their way… simple creatures, bloody creatures, but could one truly say evil? Ohhhh, Saint, right my course! This ship has lost its compass—

ANGELO: Alright, then! We’ll return to you, uh, later on! And friend Talfryn?

TALFRYN: Let’s just stop here for a second. I’ll see if I can find anything.

ANGELO: Yes! We default to your lead, master tracker!

TALFRYN: Don’t… don’t call me that. Please.

ANGELO: Hmm.

(WHISPERING) Sir Damien, do you see how the lad walks off? Shoulders tight, but posture slumped. What do you think ails him so?

DAMIEN: Perhaps he feels as though the world he’s woken up in has lost its every rule. That if monster-hounds be good, and foreigners make great leaders, the world’s spun off its course; ground floats above and we are falling, falling, into the swallowing sky below. O Saint, it all seemed so simple once—

ANGELO: No, no, I don’t think that’s it at all.

Aha!

SOUND: SNAPS FINGERS.

Confidence! That’s what the boy lacks, of course! It must be…

Begads! Why, Sir Damien! Your posture is just the same! I shall boost your confidence first, and then move on to young Talfryn afterwards. (CLEARS THROAT) First, I shall reassure you that you are one of the greatest monster-slayers in all the land!

DAMIEN: But should we slay them at all? And is it impure of me to question—

ANGELO: And an excellent poet!

DAMIEN: I haven’t worried about that in weeks. O, for that simpler time!

ANGELO: And I shall tell you that you are a very good person as well! Of clear moral standing!

DAMIEN: Do you really think so? Because—

ANGELO: And with your self-doubt settled, we will move on to Talfryn’s.

DAMIEN: But… could we linger on your last point for just for a moment? I’ve been unsure on that very issue for these past—

ANGELO: Young Talfryn seems lost without his brother. You don’t suppose that this is his first adventure without Marc? Did you see his expression when his brother had to stay behind in the swamp?

DAMIEN: And Marc! Ahhh, I misunderstood him for so long… or did I? He builds a flaming sword, but doesn’t maintain himself or his horse, gets waylaid in the swamp by a broken horseshoe! A great warrior, or a great buffoon?

ANGELO: A great boon is right! Friend Marc has given us an impressive tracker in his brother. But when they separated, the boy looked as though he might weep. And if he’s only ever quested with as impressive a warrior as Marc… well, it’s no wonder he’s not confident in his abilities as a hero. Why, he’s never been a hero before, has he?

DAMIEN: A hero! These days I hardly even know what that means. O Saint Damien, lend me your Tranquility… I have not felt it in weeks, now, and I fear I move further from you with every step—

ANGELO: Yes, that’s it! A hero is born when a hero is needed, and if Marc the mighty warrior has conquered every threat those two have come across, then the boy has had no practice! (CHUCKLES) There we have it, Sir Damien! We should take young Talfryn under our wing and teach him the ways of the knight! Surely that will restore his confidence!

DAMIEN: A sign, O Saint Damien, please, any sign that I’ve not lost my way completely…

ANGELO: On second thought, you seem very busy with… whatever goes on in there. So I’ll let you work those things out and train the boy myself! Just call if you need me! Sir Angelo away! Hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup!

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS.

ANGELO: What-ho, friend Talfryn! Have you made any discoveries yet?

TALFRYN: Not really. I’ve found some big tracks here, though – like huge pig feet. I thought an ogre at first, but they come in a pair, and never get too far from one another, so it’s probably an oni of some kind… maybe Horcs?

ANGELO: If you’re feeling ill, I recommend you breathe deeply, my friend. A warrior does not vomit unless absolutely necessary!

SOUND: SWAMP AMBIANCE FADES OUT/RUNNING WATER FADES IN.

TALFRYN: No, I mean that’s what they’re… called… (SIGHS) They’re going north, though. Out of the swamp.

DAMIEN: Out of the swamp?

ANGELO: Then the scaly cur’s escaped! Drat!

TALFRYN: The ground’s dryer, there’s some sand scattered around… we’re probably close to another shore.

ANGELO: Not just sand, mind: salt, and a great deal of it. Why, these crystals are massive! Some of the most elegant specimens I’ve ever seen! Perhaps I’ll just carve off—

DAMIEN: The end of the swamp… that would suggest that we are due south of the Terminus… but if that’s really true…

…then we’re saved.

Ha-ha! Saved, my fellows, saved! If those beasts have led us to the world’s Northern edge, then they’ve guided our hands to their own unmaking! Don’t you see it, Sir Angelo, Talfryn?

ANGELO: But of course! With these impressive crystals of salt, we shall hew spears that sting unbearably even as they cut—

DAMIEN: Not! The salt!

No. No, my friends. We are saved by Saintly providence, for you see, the Terminus shore is the home of the Spiral Sage!

ANGELO: Ha-ha, yes! My favorite of the sages, as I’ve always said!

TALFRYN: Who– who’s the Spiral Sage?

ANGELO: Yes, Sir Damien, I can’t say I’ve heard of him.

DAMIEN: An old legend – all tales from the four ends of the world are old, as few men return from them alive. It is said that there stands a tower upon this shore built not of brick or wood, but of a single, spiral piece; and within that tower lives the Spiral Sage, an ancient prophet who can touch truth and time as easily as you or I can touch this sand.

ANGELO: Hmm.

SOUND: SAND/PEBBLES FALLING.

Why, that’s quite easy indeed!

DAMIEN: My parents spoke of his tale with all the reverence of the Saints, but, I admit, in my weakest moments I wasn’t certain he existed… even the four ends of the world seem so improbable from inside the Citadel…

Yet, here we are! If anyone can tell us where to find Rilla and how to free us from these monsters’ mind-warping magic, it’s him!

TALFRYN: But… I thought you said humans didn’t come out here very often. How’s an old man been living out here for hundreds of years?

DAMIEN: He’s immortal, of course. Mastery of time, Talfryn, you really ought to listen.

TALFRYN: But don’t monsters have that kind of power?

DAMIEN: Monsters and Saints, my friend. It’s actually quite simple: monsters break the divine rules that govern all things. Saints ask for permission from the powers above to bend those rules; and with that permission granted, they know their acts are good.

TALFRYN: But… how are you supposed to tell the difference?

DAMIEN: Faith, my friend. The recognition that we cannot understand all things, but that sense lies deep within them… even if it is beyond our capability to grasp it.

And that…! That’s what I’ve been missing! Of course!

TALFRYN: Uh, what?

DAMIEN: (LAUGHS) Well, onward, friends! A great miracle, this: a twisted world has found its shape again, and the Spiral Sage will reveal it to us!

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING.

ANGELO: Come, young Talfryn! A true knight never refuses a challenge!

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING.

Hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup… (FADING)

TALFRYN: But guys, how is Sir Marc going to… find us…? (SIGHS)

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS, PANTING.

Wait!

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

***

SOUND: CROWD MURMURING.

BAILIFF: The humans will be given two more minutes to assemble their defense!

CAROLINE: I told you to stay calm.

RILLA: I… am. You’re the one who’s been talking at a thousand—

CAROLINE: What we need is strategy. A plan of attack. And we’ve two minutes to prepare it. You’re a doctor. How many people have you killed?

RILLA: Um, none!

CAROLINE: Not one! And they let you practice in the Citadel?

RILLA: What kind of doctors are you used to?

CAROLINE: Ah, no, that must be why you were exiled. A pity.

BAILIFF: Court will begin in one minute!

CAROLINE: We have no time, so I hope you’ve some wits about you. You must follow my lead on this, do you understand? I will listen to you on medical concerns—

RILLA: You haven’t so far.

CAROLINE: I will listen to you on medical concerns when you aren’t trying to trick me, but now that the law is our problem, we are in my realm, and you must follow my lead.

RILLA: I’ve been in court before.

CAROLINE: You have been in a Citadel court! You Northerners stay boarded up behind those walls so long that you forget you don’t comprise the entire world. But courts, legal systems, even punishments the world over are dangerously different and fatally similar. If you walk into this expecting to present evidence, answer testimony, and appeal to a jury of your peers, then you and I will be fed to the beasts in seconds.

I have been in courts across this world. Never a monster court, but… I at least know what strategies work consistently. And so we will use our wits, and you will speak only when prompted. Any questions?

RILLA: …You’ve been the accused in all those courts. Haven’t you?

BAILIFF: The humans’ time is up!

CAROLINE: Follow my lead. We’ll play dumb, glean their rules, and then talk circles around them. That is all.

JUDGE: Thank you, Bailiff.

(CLEARS THROAT) We will begin with opening statements. Humans, please proceed.

CAROLINE: First, most horrible Judge Helicoid, if I may ask a question: how are we to participate in your Court if we know none of its customs?

SOUND: CROWD GASPS.

RILLA: Sure sounds like you know what you’re doing.

SOUND: RUSTLING.

Ow!

JUDGE: Calm down.

SOUND: THREE QUICK CLAPS.

Quiet! I will have quiet!

SOUND: CROWD HUSHES.

(CLEARS THROAT) Humans: what you call ‘customs’ are strictly behaviors that you creatures keep – arbitrary agreements based on location and time period and it-hardly-matters-what-else have no place in this court. The universe has granted us free will and desires for a reason. So long as we do precisely what we please, we will be acting as the universe intends. And, thereby, will we ensure stability and balance for all.

CAROLINE: Except for the ones you kill.

JUDGE: Cannot a breakfast be balanced?

Therefore! This court has no rules. So long as we all do what we truly want, things will run smoothly.

CAROLINE: Well, that doesn’t make any sense to me. Herbalist?

RILLA: Agreed.

CAROLINE: Are you sure? It sounds quite a lot like the Saints nonsense your fiancé is always—

RILLA: I don’t think that makes sense either, but, it’s important to him so I try to support him.

CAROLINE: Too good of you.

RILLA: Thanks.

CAROLINE: Not a compliment.

BAILIFF: Silence, humans!

CAROLINE: I thought you said we could do anything we wanted?

BAILIFF: Well, not if it’s… not if it’s that!

JUDGE: (CLEARS THROAT) Mm. Yes. It’s clear that you creatures have lived under the yoke of customs too long; your ability, I say your very ability to act as you wish has atrophied. However, we do allow accommodations for the, um, eh… willfully impaired. Bailiff, would you be so kind as to tell them what they want?

BAILIFF: Of course, your Horror. Right now—

RILLA: That snot-thing? How is that fair? She clearly hates us!

SOUND: RUSTLING.

Ow!

JUDGE: Bailiff is an utmost professional, a golem of my own prophetic slime, created to enact the law. You can be assured that she will do her duty exactly as she wants to.

BAILIFF: I will be a model of objectivity and respect, your Horror! Now, the two turgid abominations of unsettling solidity wish to please step forward!

CAROLINE: Go.

SOUND: TWO FOOTSTEPS.

BAILIFF: And now, the two unreasonably bald apes wish to end their opening statement immediately!

RILLA: No, we—

CAROLINE: Yes, your Horror.

JUDGE: Very good, very good. Now, Bailiff: prepare the humans for testimony.

RILLA: What?

CAROLINE: Shh!

BAILIFF: In our court, the universe holds ultimate sway, and the universe has given us wants desires AND needs that we may act out what it most wants to see. It is our utmost duty to do as we wish, because that is what will keep the universe entertained, is that understood?

CAROLINE: Nearly. But if I could just ask—

BAILIFF: The four-appendaged freaks with skin like dried molluscs wish to tell their story immediately!

CAROLINE: (AFTER A PAUSE) Uhmmmm… what story?

JUDGE: The tale of how you arrived in this courtroom today, human. The universe will hear it, and if you truly have acted as you desire, it will find you belong here and let you go; if you have not, it will tell us the proper place for you.

BAILIFF: The creatures with perfectly good paws ruined by one fat finger which wiggles ever so should also be prepared for a question and answer session from the courtroom at large.

JUDGE: Oh: and do feel free to elaborate, pontificate, and otherwise linger on the most interesting moments, hm? We’ve still several hours before the sun sets and I do like a good show.

CAROLINE: Alright. We will tell our story with utmost respect for the universe’s will, your Horror.

(CLEARS THROAT) You see, I was to escort this doctor—

VOICE 4: (DISTANT, CALLING) Why did you stab me in the bum!

CAROLINE: …Excuse me?

SOUND: CROWD MURMURING.

JUDGE: You heard the beast. Why did you stab him in the bum?

CAROLINE: I… pardon me, your Circuitousness, but I thought we were to tell our tale now?

BAILIFF: The creatures with an irresponsible surplus of internal organs wish to recall the question and answer session they were informed of seconds ago!

CAROLINE: But shouldn’t that come after—

TROTTER: (CALLING) Quit dodging the question, man! We just wanna know why you stabbed the guy twice in his keister!

SOUND: CROWD GROWS LOUDER.

CAROLINE: Well, first – I would say that it wasn’t his rear that I stabbed—

VOICE 4: (DISTANT, CALLING) Yeah, it was!

CAROLINE: No. It was your stomach.

VOICE 4: (DISTANT, CALLING) That’s my bum!

CAROLINE: What even are you?

RILLA: (QUIETLY) Sir Caroline…

CAROLINE: Shut up!

PORCUS: (CALLING) Hey! I got one for ya: hey, girlie! How do your femurs taste?

PORCUS & TROTTER: (LAUGHING)

CAROLINE: I don’t know; I’ve never tasted them.

PORCUS: Eeee?

SOUND: CROWD BOOS.

CAROLINE: You can see them! It was an inane question to begin with.

TROTTER: (CALLING) You can’t say that! The pig’s got free speech, man!

VOICE 5: (DISTANT, CALLING) Yeah, sweets! Tell them what they want to hear! No matter how silly it is!

RILLA: (QUIETLY) No matter how silly… (LOUDER) My femurs… taste like candy! Like I’ve got, um, big candy… sticks, in my legs, like uh, uh…

VOICE 5: (DISTANT, CALLING) Like candy canes!

PORCUS: (CALLING) Candy canes, she says! Girl’s held up by candy canes!

SOUND: CROWD LAUGHTER.

CAROLINE: This. Is an embarassment.

RILLA: You made me wear the big pink flower!

BAILIFF: Settle down, please! Settle down! One voice at a time, now, thank you!

JUDGE: Thank you, Bailiff. Now, humans: what was your goal in infiltrating this courtroom, hmm? An espionage attempt by the human menace, perhaps, hmmmm?

VOICE 5: (DISTANT, CALLING) I’m bored of the human menace! Tell us what really happened!

SOUND: CROWD GROWS LOUDER.

BAILIFF: One voice at a time, one voice at a time—

PORCUS: (CALLING) Sure, one voice, and I want it to be candy-canes up there!

TROTTER: (CALLING) Yeah, man! Why’s she here? I like her!

VOICE 5: (DISTANT, CALLING) Tell us, sweets! If we all like you, the verdict can’t be that bad!

BAILIFF: Your Horror…

JUDGE: (CLEARS THROAT)

SOUND: CROWD QUIETS A BIT.

RILLA: I’m… um… we were just… as Sir Caroline was saying…

CAROLINE: (QUIETLY) Tell the truth, herbalist, and it’s your head.

RILLA: I… I mean, we’re in your court… because… uh…

Because of the lizard on trial before us! Because I think I might be in love with Lord Arum!

JUDGE: (GASPS)

SOUND: CROWD HUSHES.

I say! (GAGGING) I think I’m going to be ill.

SOUND: CROWD BURSTS INTO LAUGHTER.

TROTTER: (CALLING) Baaaarf, dude! This is too much, dude!

PORCUS: (CALLING) Ohhh, yer killin’ me, girlie! Tell us more!

RILLA: I wanted to kiss that lizard! I wanted to kiss him right on his scaly mouth. I was also thinking that might be a challenge because he doesn’t have lips, but I thought we’d… figure it out.

SOUND: CROWD LAUGHS.

BAILIFF: Settle down, please! Settle down!

SOUND: CROWD HUSHES.

RILLA: And I… I’m already in love with someone else, and I don’t love him any less because of this! If anything I love him more, because I appreciate all the things that make him one- of-a-kind! I love his stories, and his smile; I love that he makes me see the beauty in the hard questions, even when they make me uncomfortable. I love that he makes me grow, and when I look at Lord Arum I get the feeling that even… even a monster could make me grow, too, and, in new ways, different ways, like… a tree? With… branches? And they’re growing… different ways? Two ways? Forget it! The point is, I want to spend time with him and find out if that’s true!

TROTTER: (SNIFFLING) That’s… that’s beautiful, man.

PORCUS: (SNIFFLING) It is, ain’t it?

TROTTER: (SNIFFLING) Porcus, I feel like I don’t say this enough, dude, but I… y’know, I…

PORCUS: Yeah?

TROTTER: There’s no pig I’d rather be magically chained to for the rest of eternity, man!

PORCUS: Me neither, Trotter! Me neither!

PORCUS & TROTTER: (SOBBING)

SOUND: CROWD SOBBING.

JUDGE: How… very touching. (BLUBBERS)

CAROLINE: I am furious with you right now.

RILLA: Good.

BAILIFF: Your Circuitousness… that is, Most Horrible Judge Helicoid…

SOUND: CROWD HUSHES.

JUDGE: Yes, the human’s tale has moved me to tears, Bailiff. I’m but a monster, after all – if you tickle me, do not I laugh? If you prick me, do not I spew a steady stream of pus across the room?

BAILIFF: Yes, but your Horror! (WHISPERING) You have a message.

JUDGE: A message, you say? What strange– I say– eh, uh, who could I possibly—

Oh? Tell it to me! Quickly, quickly!

BAILIFF: (WHISPERS)

JUDGE: (OVER THE BELOW) Mmhmm… yes, mmhmm… hmm, hmm… them, you say? Really? …Well, yes, of course, plenty of time, plenty of… but– oh! No time at all, you say? Hmm, well, hmmm, well… Several hours to go, I thought…

RILLA: (OVER THE ABOVE) So I didn’t follow your plan. So what? We’re winning, aren’t we?

CAROLINE: (OVER THE ABOVE) Winning isn’t worth anything. I care only if we’ve won. And if you’ve jeopardized that then you’ve endangered many lives.

RILLA: So she cares about lives now, huh?

CAROLINE: It is my job. I am very good at my job.

RILLA: You say that a lot.

CAROLINE: And what, precisely, is that supposed to mean?

JUDGE: Well, I rather think that wraps things up for this trial. A lot of excellent work, everyone. The universe clearly has enough to go off—now, let’s hear its say and process the humans immediately.

SOUND: CROWD BOOS.

TROTTER: (CALLING) Bogus, dude! It was just getting good!

VOICE 5: (CALLING) Yeah! We want to hear more!

JUDGE: That’s enough!

SOUND: THREE CLAPS. CROWD HUSHES.

As entertaining as it might be to hear more detail, that is not what we are here to do. By wasting the time of this court, you are restricting our possibilities for future action, and are thereby guilty of Incarceration – one of our prime sins, I need not remind the court.

SOUND: CROWD MURMURS.

Therefore. We will now move on to Judgment, and then, Relocation. Bailiff, if you would.

BAILIFF: Yes, your Horror. The terrible pervert’s compatriot, and the aforementioned terrible pervert, wish to make way for his Horror’s slime!

CAROLINE: That we most certainly do.

RILLA: You’re giving up?

CAROLINE: I would point that particular accusation at the untrained herbalist who acted however the mood took her instead of sticking to observation and strategy.

RILLA: The trial was rigged, Sir Caroline!

CAROLINE: And I’ve made my way out of rigged trials before. Without interruption.

RILLA: Yeah, well, your strategy stunk, alright? I was just doing what the woman in the crowd was suggesting—

CAROLINE: What. Woman?

VOICE 5: Play for time, sweets! The sun’s on your side, but you need time!

RILLA: Her! The one who just shouted at us!

CAROLINE: I hear nobody except for you, herbalist.

JUDGE: Sunset draws near… very near, actually, which seems odd, and, court must close soon. So therefore…

O universe, speak through me, etcetera etcetera, ooooooooOOOooo judgment! (SNORTS, SPITS)

SOUND: BUBBLING.

(HISSING/GROWLING) The humans have wandered from their path. They must be sent to Fort Terminus immediately. I say, it must be done immediately.

SOUND: CROWD BOOS, BUBBLING STOPS.

RILLA & CAROLINE: (IN UNISON) What?!

JUDGE: Well, that wraps things up! That’s all, case closed!

SOUND: THREE CLAPS.

Now, guards, Porcus and Trotter, if you would be so kind as to transport the humans to their holding cell, we can get on with the next—

VOICE 5: Closing statements!

JUDGE: Hm? W-w-what’s that? Who said that, now, speak up, will you?

VOICE 5: The trial’s not over until we get our closing statements!

SOUND: CHIMES.

Yeah! Yes, yes! Yeah, I wanna hear the Judge talk! (CHANTING) Clo-sing! State-ments!

JUDGE: Well! Hmm, hm-hm-hm, well well. Closing statements, Bailiff, I can’t believe you didn’t remind me!

CAROLINE: Why is the snail talking to himself?

RILLA: He isn’t. You… really can’t hear her, can you?

CAROLINE: Really can’t hear who—

…Oh.

BAILIFF: Uhhh… but… uhh… but, your Circuitousness… the message—

JUDGE: Damn the message, Bailiff! I’m the Judge, hm hm, I’m the Judge himself, aren’t I? And the sun should take half an hour to set, so if my audience wants to hear me speak, well, let them!

SOUND: CHIMES.

VOICE 5: (OVERLAPPING) Infinite power and an infinite supply of mucous? Who says you can’t have it all! Oh, he’s such a nightmareboat, isn’t he? Shake that slime, baby! Yasss, Judge!

JUDGE: (CHUCKLES) Hm. You’re too kind, yes, you really are too kind.

CAROLINE: (GROWLS) Of course.

RILLA: Of course what?

JUDGE: Well, I’ll just, um… I’ll only be a minute now… and then, it will be time for your official sentencing. And then off the world with you, mmmmm, heh-heh-heh, yes… (COUGHS, CLEARS THROAT) My closing statement… is!

BAILIFF: Your Circuitousness! Look! Outside! It’s… dark!

JUDGE: Don’t be silly, Bailiff! The sun has barely begun to… to– to set…

Oh. Oh, dear me. So it is. Um.

SOUND: FIVE QUICK CLAPS.

Spiral court is now adjourned. We will open again for closing statements in the morning, thank you! Porcus and Trotter, the holding cells, please. Good night!

RILLA: Wh– what the…

CAROLINE: I’ll tell you exactly “what the,” herbalist. You have been taking advice from the only creature in this courtroom more dangerous than any monster. And you can be sure she’ll come knocking for you again soon.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

***

SOUND: RUNNING WATER.

DAMIEN: There! Do you see, fellows, in the distance – that spiral tower! (LAUGHS) The temple’s oldest legends would never lie! The great Spiral Sage will surely save us!

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS.

ANGELO: What-ho! Rilla is surely saved!

TALFRYN: (WINDED) Yeah. Hooray.

ANGELO: Come now, Talfryn. I know that you’re the worrying type, but this must be cheering even for you, eh?

TALFRYN: No, I’m happy about Rilla, it’s just—

Do either of you hear anything?

DAMIEN: The tranquil breath of the waves, of course! Saint Damien’s blessing! Perhaps this shall be the path to my redemption!

ANGELO: Naught but the heroic beating of my heart, good Talfryn. And the impressive musical ring of this salt, hmm!

SOUND: BELL DING.

Such rare structure to these crystals! I think I’ll just take another little one.

DAMIEN: We’ve already stopped three times, Sir Angelo.

TALFRYN: No, no, I mean… I don’t hear anything. Nothing alive; no seagulls, no fish… not even any bugs.

DAMIEN: A hush often hangs upon a sacred place, Talfryn. Of course it’s quiet here.

TALFRYN: No. There are quiet days in the jungle or the swamps, and I’ve heard them. But this is different. This is… (MOANS)

DAMIEN: Sir Angelo… can we please continue—

ANGELO: Raising the boy’s confidence? An excellent idea, Sir Damien!

TALFRYN: Raising my what?

ANGELO: (CLEARS THROAT) Well, if you’re concerned, then let us discuss how to ensure the success of our mission, hmm? For example: how do you think your brother would approach this situation? He is a talented strategist, and I find I learn most when taught by my loved ones. Like Sir Damien. And Sir Caroline. And your brother. And—

TALFRYN: I don’t know what Marc would say. Probably something about how the shell isn’t big enough for him to waste his time on.

ANGELO: Hm? I’m afraid I don’t follow.

TALFRYN: That’s what he said the last time we talked. That the Salamander Sword was supposed to be his big finish, the thing he showed off at the very end of our quest, when he saved the day once and for all. Only now that finish wasn’t big enough anymore, ‘cause he already used it, and he needed time to prepare something bigger, that’d show ‘em, and he said I should go with you guys and help you find Rilla while he made something better, and—

ANGELO: Talfryn, Talfryn! These are merely jitters! First you say things are too alive, as with the nymphs, and now they are too quiet. If one fears sound and silence, why, one must always be afraid!

TALFRYN: That’s not—

Actually, that makes a lot of sense.

ANGELO: Then there is only one solution!

TALFRYN: Try not to jump to conclusions and find evidence to—

ANGELO: Have no fear of anything! Hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup… (FADING)

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING.

DAMIEN: Finally!

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

TALFRYN: Okay. I guess a knight has… no fear. No fear… no fear… no fear…

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

***

SOUND: DOOR CREAKS OPEN. SLOW FOOTSTEPS.

DAMIEN: (QUIETLY) Saints above… we’ve really found it.

ANGELO: (CALLING) It smells rather like a barn in here!

DAMIEN: Hush, Sir Angelo! This is a sacred place; we are blessed to set foot in it.

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

Though, it does seem to have fallen into disrepair these days… but, such a holiness! Mother and Father told me about places like this one, but I never thought I’d be so lucky… I can feel the ancient power in my skin; even my hair stands at attention. Can you feel that, fellows?

TALFRYN: I… can, actually.

ANGELO: As can I. How tingly!

DAMIEN: Down here, you see, around the central dais, this must be where people gathered to ask of the Prophet his visions, in brighter, more reverent days than these. And that iron podium must be where the Spiral Sage makes his decrees!

ANGELO: Iron! Hardly! That podium is made of… well, it’s clearly…

Saints, I don’t know what that is.

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

TALFRYN: So… we’re all just gonna… (SIGHS) Okay.

DAMIEN: And these tapestries on the walls… fascinating. A tale, perhaps…

ANGELO: Perfectly smooth, this material, and not a bit of give. An alloy of some kind, clearly, but… not steel. Interesting.

SOUND: CLANG.

Saints, that’s dense! Not even I could lift this!

TALFRYN: Sir Angelo… Sir Damien… is it really safe for us to just… wander in here?

DAMIEN: Stay by the door if you like, Talfryn, but I would be more afraid of what lives in those wilds than anything in a great Sage’s home.

ANGELO: Too true! Unless… Sir Damien, do you think a great Sage would have great house-centipedes? I can’t stand those things, with all their little legs and… ughhhh.

TALFRYN: (MOANS)

DAMIEN: These tapestries are… confusing. There must be some metaphorical meaning I’m not aware of. There’s the Sage, clearly, but he is surrounded by both humans and monsters.

Hmmm, surely the Sage will have the answer. But where could he…

Ah, a hidden door beneath this extremely wet couch! That must be the Sage’s secret chamber! Now, to move it. (GRUNTS)

SOUND: SQUISHY STRETCHING.

Wh-what is this… ugh!!

TALFRYN: What? What is it, what?

DAMIEN: My hands are stuck to this… couch!

SOUND: GOOPY STRETCH. HEAVY CREAKING.

(BIG YELL, OVER THE BELOW)

ANGELO: (OVER THE ABOVE) Begad, and now the couch is moving!

TALFRYN: (OVER THE ABOVE) Guys… I don’t think that’s a couch…!

SOUND: SQUISHES.

JUDGE: (YAWNS) What’s all that terrible racket? A Judge needs his sleep, I say, and it’s only…

Oh! It’s only sunset? How very odd… but court ended with nightfall, hem, hm, and that could not have been more than a few hours ago.

DAMIEN: Saints above… I’m stuck!

JUDGE: Who’s stuck?

SOUND: SQUISHES.

Who? Who are you? Where are you, you pest, you annoyance, you…!

(SNIFFS, GROWLS) Human! An invisible human somewhere in this room?

ANGELO: (WHISPERING) Ah! An excellent opportunity! Now we will see how one of the Citadel’s strongest warriors dispatches this beast! Watch Sir Damien’s strategy closely now, Talfryn!

TALFRYN: Okay…

JUDGE: Where are you? I say, where are you?!

SOUND: SQUISHES.

DAMIEN: (YELLING, OVER THE BELOW) BaaaAaaaAAaaACK yOOOoooUUuu fffiiiEEeeeEEennnd!!

JUDGE: (OVER THE ABOVE) Confound that racket! Confound it, I say! Where is this yelping little so-and-so; show him at once!

TALFRYN: S-sir Angelo! Sir Damien’s in trouble! You have to save him!

DAMIEN: (YELLING, OVER THE BELOW) HeeeeEEeeEEEeelllPPPP!

ANGELO: (OVER THE ABOVE) Do you think so? He seems to have that slimy fellow in quite the headlock.

TALFRYN: He’s just stuck to the back of its head!

DAMIEN: (YELLING IN BACKGROUND)

ANGELO: And besides, man, you say I must save him? You misspeak, young Talfryn: a true knight respects unity, togetherness, teamwork. There is no Sir Angelo in team!

TALFRYN: He really seems like he needs help, Sir Angelo, so I think you should probably just—

SOUND: HEAVY, SQUISHY FOOTSTEPS.

ANGELO: You must be more confident, my friend. You could slay the beast just as easily as I.

TALFRYN: Uh, no.

ANGELO: And why not?

TALFRYN: Do we have to talk about this right now?

ANGELO: A good instructor always listens, and now, I am listening.

DAMIEN: (YELLING IN BACKGROUND)

TALFRYN: (AFTER A PAUSE) I’ve never killed a monster before, okay? I’ve helped, but I’ve never… you know. Now can you go save Sir Damien, please?

ANGELO: Never killed a monster before! Why that’s… that’s…

…just the thing I’ve been looking for.

TALFRYN: Um, that was really foreboding and everything and I’m sure you had a good reason for it, Sir Angelo, but I’m worried Sir Damien’s gonna break his neck if that snail keeps it up, so—

ANGELO: You! Slime monster! Cease that shaking at once and fight me, beast!

JUDGE: Hmmm?

SOUND: SQUISHING STOPS.

More humans! An infestation! My privacy, I say, a complete violation of my privacy!

DAMIEN: (PANTING, DIZZY) Sir Angelo… watch out… he’s very… sticky…

ANGELO: Oh I know, my friend. I know. (QUIETLY) That’s precisely my plan. Hmm hmm!

TALFRYN: Maybe you shouldn’t say your plan out loud?

ANGELO: Stand still, beast. A true warrior approaches now.

JUDGE: A true warrior? A human?! (LAUGHS) I haven’t feared a human in centuries!

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

I say, you do not scare me, little creature! You are nothing!

B-b-blast you, say something! I do not f-f-fear you! The universe speaks through me, you know?

SOUND: BLADE UNSHEATHING.

ANGELO: Prepare to meet your end, beast.

JUDGE: (YELL OF FEAR)

ANGELO: (BATTLE CRY)

TALFRYN: Whoa.

ANGELO: (BATTLE CRY STOPS) Oops! An accident! I have… tripped! Hup!

SOUND: SQUELCH.

TALFRYN: Wh… what?!

JUDGE: Oh. That was… simpler than expected.

DAMIEN: Sir Angelo.

ANGELO: Sir Damien!

DAMIEN: Did you. Just get yourself caught. In this monster’s slime?

ANGELO: Ha ha, of course not! It was but an accident!

…Is what they will think, when in reality I have given my young pupil the opportunity to prove himself a great hero!

TALFRYN: No… n-n-n-no-no-no-no-no…

JUDGE: He does know we can hear him, doesn’t he?

ANGELO: Ha ha! They will call me Sir Angelo, the Strong of Body and Teaching!

DAMIEN: I… am less certain of that than you, my friend.

TALFRYN: Sir Angelo! H-how am I supposed to do this? I’m not even a knight!

ANGELO: Not with that attitude, you aren’t! Just follow my guidance and all will be fine!

JUDGE: Yet another human?

SOUND: SQUISHES.

Reveal yourself, boy! You are alone; you stand no chance against this Judge!

DAMIEN: It’s alright, Talfryn! Remember that we are in the Sage’s tower; the beast must have him locked away in here! Find him, quickly, and we shall surely be saved!

TALFRYN: The Spiral Sage… right! If he’s that powerful, he can save us!

JUDGE: Sage? A Spiral Sage, you say? (CHUCKLES TURNING TO FULL-ON LAUGHTER)

DAMIEN: You won’t be laughing when he destroys you with his divine power, demon!

JUDGE: Hem hem! And what, if I may ask – what is this Sage’s name?

DAMIEN: Sage Helicoid, of course!

JUDGE: (BAHAHAHAHAHA)

TALFRYN: …Oh no.

JUDGE: (PANTING) No, no, please, no more, please, ohh, uhh…

Insignificant one, you’ve been misinformed. I am Helicoid, the Spiral Judge!

DAMIEN: No- no- no…

TALFRYN: Oh no oh no oh no oh no.

ANGELO: Then it’s up to you, young Talfryn! You can do this! Just follow my instruction!

JUDGE: Yes, please, my boy, listen to your teacher. (CHUCKLES)

ANGELO: These quarters are too cramped to fight well – you must gain more advantageous ground! To the door! Fight this beast outside!

TALFRYN: (WHIMPERS)

ANGELO: Don’t just stand there! Run!

SOUND: LOW RUMBLING, SQUISHES, HEAVY CREAKING.

JUDGE: I think not.

But, I do thank you for the tip, human. This will be settled quickly, I think.

TALFRYN: H-he’s blocking the exit!

DAMIEN: Because you didn’t move!

TALFRYN: Bu-but- but he’s so b-big and if I g-get c-caught it’s all over and-a and- and—

ANGELO: That sounds like thinking, Talfryn, and we have no time for thought! Instincts are the means by which we move straight to action without once touching our minds. Listen to your instincts, friend! And remember: no fear!

TALFRYN: No fear… no fear… no fear…

JUDGE: Ah. There you are, my boy. (SNORTS, SPITS)

TALFRYN: No; fear.

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS.

(YELLING, PANTING)

JUDGE: My hidden chambers! Get back here! Contempt! Contempt, I say, this is contempt! (FADING OUT)

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

***

SOUND: GRUNTING, FOOTSTEPS FADE IN.

PORCUS: Aaaaaaand in ya go!

TROTTER: Close it, man, close it!

SOUND: BANG. DRIPPING WATER/CAVE AMBIANCE.

TROTTER: (PANTING) Close shave, dude. That one can really thrash.

CAROLINE: Fight me, swine! Get this slime off my hands and fight me!

PORCUS: (SQUEALING LAUGHTER, SNORTS) Y’know, I almost like you humans. It’ll be too bad when we bring you to the Fortress and toss ya off the edge of the world tomorrow. (LAUGHS)

TROTTER: Hey man, are you sure that’s kosher? ‘Cause, uh—

PORCUS: Yeah, okay, so the trial ain’t technically over, Trots; but all the Judge has to do is say like five words and then we’re done.

TROTTER: Nah, brah, not that. I thought we didn’t toss ‘em anymore? Like, weren’t we gonna put ‘em in the work—

SOUND: THUD.

Ow!

PORCUS: Shut up, ham-brains! And let’s get out of here before you really mess up!

CAROLINE: This trial won’t be the end of us. Do you hear me?

TROTTER: Don’t count on it, dude! Judge Helicoid isn’t gonna lose track of time twice!

PORCUS & TROTTER: (LAUGHTER FADES)

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING.

CAROLINE: And give me back my sword, you cowards! Ugh. This is your fault, herbalist.

RILLA: Me? How?

CAROLINE: Because you didn’t listen to me. Because you decided to listen to that… that creature in the audience.

That’s right! I know you’re out there, so show yourself! Witch!

VOICE 5: (ECHOING LAUGHTER)

SOUND: HARP STRUM.

Meanie. (GIGGLES)

CAROLINE: I knew it. Meddling in official duty. Citadel law states that I could run you through for this.

VOICE 5: Oh—with what, your hands? Ohhh, those hands do seem quite strong, though. Forget I said anything.

CAROLINE: So this is how you’re going to play it, then.

VOICE 5: Playing! Oh, I love games – when I win them. Have I won yet?

CAROLINE: Listen to me: you are not wanted here. We neither require nor desire your assistance. So if you can cloak your voice from me, you can cloak the rest of you as well and get out of here.

RILLA: But… wait. Why would she only hide her voice from you?

CAROLINE: Hmph.

VOICE 5: Oh, just look at that face, sweets. Look at how much she hates me! Wouldn’t you hide?

CAROLINE: I don’t hate witches. They just. Don’t. Belong. Here.

VOICE 5: She’s no fun to talk to. How ‘bout you, babe? Can a little lost witch get some hospitality? Just a scootch?

CAROLINE: Don’t do it, herbalist.

VOICE 5: I’ll start by doing better than her: I’ll call you by your name. Enlighten me?

RILLA: Rilla. And you?

VOICE 5: Rilla! Pretty, pretty Rilla. Mine is always Quanyii, no matter how much of my physical form I change, so please don’t get confused. Oh, I know that sounds boring, sweets; but even when you’re trying to keep things fresh, something has to stay the same or you might… lose yourself entirely. (LAUGHS)

RILLA: New forms? So, are you… a monster?

VOICE 5 [QUANYII]: No. No matter how hard I try. Though I think I’d get sick of being a monster eventually, too – call me restless. Curious. Gorgeous.

CAROLINE: No.

QUANYII: Oh, she’s shy! Stop it, you’re making me blush! (BLOWS A KISS)

RILLA: But if you’re down here… then you got past the guards!

QUANYII: I did! They’re all dozing at their posts as we speak, dreaming sweet little vandals’ dreams. They’re so cute when they’re unconscious.

RILLA: Then you can get us out of here?

QUANYII: Get out of here? No, no, Rilla, you’re thinking about this all wrong. Neither of you wants to get out of here. Not really.

CAROLINE: Of course we want out of this cell. What’s your game, witch?

QUANYII: The cell, of course, but the prison? I don’t think so. Because I hear that there’s a reptile you’re both after, and guess where he happens to be?

RILLA: In the prison. Arum, you know where Lord Arum is?

QUANYII: I do.

RILLA: And you can help us find him?

CAROLINE: Herbalist…

QUANYII: Not only can I, sweets: I’m very bored today! And it sounds like just the thing I feel like doing. If the price is right.

CAROLINE: I knew it.

RILLA: The… price?

QUANYII: Don’t worry, babe, I know what you’re thinking: can I really afford a witch? In this economy? And I’m happy to say that you can, no matter how poorly doctors are treated in the modern day—low pay, long hours, exile, you poor thing—because witches don’t trade in money. We trade in favors.

CAROLINE: Rilla.

RILLA: Favor? What kind of favor?

QUANYII: Nothing big! Just a percentage. Once you find this lizard-lord… (CHUCKLES) Well, we’ll just talk it over then.

RILLA: You aren’t going to hurt him! Because I– I… I have to talk to him.

CAROLINE: And I’ll be the only one hurting him, thank you.

QUANYII: Please, you absolutely stunning ladies, please. The pay is negotiable. I won’t take anything either of you want. We’ll discuss what you’re after… and then I’ll decide what favor I’ll take.

RILLA: I guess… if we decide together, then…

CAROLINE: Herbalist!

A word.

QUANYII: Not unless that word is ‘yes.’

CAROLINE: You are not invited!

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

RILLA: What is your problem? First you tell me I got us stuck in here, then you—

CAROLINE: You have never been in debt to a witch before, herbalist.

RILLA: Well, I don’t see any other option.

CAROLINE: You might not see it because you’ve hardly looked. This is serious.

RILLA: So what? Suddenly you care about what happens to me?

CAROLINE: I am a knight of the Citadel. Your safety is—

RILLA: Supposed to be your top priority. But where was this in the swamp? Where was this when you threatened to execute me, or kept me walking on a broken ankle, or kept interrogating me every second of the day?

CAROLINE: The monsters are destroyers, Rilla. If there was even a chance that you had fallen in league with them—

RILLA: So it’s your job. And who cares what happens to the people right in front of you, so long as you get to keep your job – is that it? I’ve known you for days now, Sir Caroline. We have the same home. We even have the same weird, complicated relationship with that home, and it is literally your job to help me, and guess what? I’ve known this witch for less than an hour and I still have more reasons to trust her than you! You failed.

CAROLINE: (HUFFS)

RILLA: Quanyii.

QUANYII: Hm? Oh, am I invited to the party again?

RILLA: I want to take your deal. We’ll… figure out payment later. Just get us out of here.

QUANYII:

In the interest of fairness, I should warn you: it’s not going to be easy. The Judge’s sweet little boogers brought the lizard deep within these halls: to Fort Terminus. (GIGGLES) But that shouldn’t be bad news for you, Sir, should it? That sounds like exactly like what you wanted, in fact. And I can be very good at giving people what… they… want.

CAROLINE: Yes. Fine. Let’s just go.

QUANYII: Oohhh, a jailbreak, just us girls! How exciting!

SOUND: CLAPS.

Alright, then! Hocus pocus, ladies.

SOUND: HARP STRUMS. DOOR UNLOCKS, CREAKS OPEN.

Now let's go have some fun.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

***

SOUND: TRAIN MOVING, MUSIC.

CONDUCTOR: If you’ve enjoyed this tale, please consider donating to The Penumbra on Patreon. Our artists work tirelessly to bring you these stories, and if you have the means, we hope you will support our efforts. Every dollar helps. You can find that page at patreon.com/thepenumbrapodcast. If you support us on Patreon at the $10 level or higher, you’ll receive access to commentary tracks like this one, from actors Jason Mellin, M Sutherland, Matthew Zahnzinger, and Glenn Moore:

SOUND: TRAIN STOPS, DOOR SLIDES OPEN, RAIN.

JASON: …there’s also all these additional characters: the Judge, uh, Porcus and Trotter– y’know all of these different smaller characters are finally gonna show up. So what I wanna know from you guys is – either as actor or like, from your character’s perspective, either one – we are definitely spiraling, ah yeah, there it is, uh, towards a narrative… point here, um, which is specifically, all of our characters getting to meet Lord Arum. So, I’m curious what—

MATTHEW: Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

JASON: —what are you, uh, hoping will happen…

SOUND: DOOR SLIDES SHUT.

CONDUCTOR: You can also support The Penumbra by liking us on Facebook, following us on Twitter @thepenumbrapod, following us on Tumblr @thepenumbrapodcast, telling your friends about us, telling your friends to tell their friends about us, and especially by rating and reviewing our podcast on iTunes. Every rating, comment, and kind word spreads our stories further and inspires us to keep creating more and better tales to come.

We would like to give special thanks to all who support us on Patreon, but especially to Minchowski, Camille Blanton, Ota Arcana, Christine Kim, Rowan Collins, Garrett M, Jay Iannuzzelli, Karin Z-H, Fiona Parker, Regan, Ko, Kim Zeugin, Atha Lang, Vron, and Jaimie Gunter for their incredibly generous contributions per episode. Thank you.

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This tale, the Spiral Sage, was told by the following people: M Sutherland as Sir Angelo, Jason Mellin as Talfryn, Matthew Zahnzinger as Sir Damien, Melissa Ennulat as Rilla, Leslie Drescher as Sir Caroline, Melissa DeJesus as Quanyii, Glen Moore as Judge Helicoid, Stewart Evan Smith as Porcus, Michael Underhill as Trotter, Kate Jones as the Bailiff, and Joshua Ilon, Kat Buckingham, and Simon Moody as the ensemble.

The Penumbra is created and produced by Sophie Kaner and Kevin Vibert. If you wish to know more about our ever-expanding, infinitely-creative team of artists, musicians, editors, designers, and managers, you can read about them in the show notes of this episode.

I’m afraid this is the end of the line for today, dear Traveler. We hope you will ride with The Penumbra again soon.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

[kian-bera]

The Trailed Laments

That night was long, cold, bitter. Arguments were had and words were thrown that shouldn’t have been said. Alexander grabbed the door handle glancing one last time back at his wife who was on the floor sobbing in front of the fireplace. He watched Philip walk downstairs and hug his mom.

Walking out, he would leave everything behind. He could come back, it wouldn’t be easy though. After everything that has happened, Eliza wouldn’t take him back so easy. He longed for the days when they first met. When things were simple, and laughs were had at the tiniest of things. Alexander stepped out into the freezing cold snow with only his shoes, clothes, and a thin jacket. He watched his breath in the air as he wondered what he could possibly do.

”Are you ok?” Eliza asked trying the hide the fact she was trying not to laugh. Alexander had fallen into ice cold water.

“I’m f...fine.” Alexander answered shaking his ginger hair and coughing up water. “Just soaking wet and freezing.”

Alexander gave a small laugh and watched as steamed fog up the windows of the other houses on the road. A party was being held at one home, but he couldn’t possibly intrude. He thought about visiting Eliza’s parents then realized, Philip Schuyler would kill him. Alexander had no friends. Not any that were living or in the newly made America.

He then thought of one person who might let him stay at their place of residence. It was Hugh Mulligan, surely his old friend would lend him a bed. Alexander began the trek to Oyster Bay in the freezing cold. Nearly a foot of snow was already covering the ground. More was falling making the visibility harsh. Of course Hugh couldn’t have stayed in New York City. Alex knew he had a long five hour trek ahead of him.

Before Alex knew it, everything was white. A blizzard had set in. He was in the middle of nowhere without a soul to call out to. He sank into the snow,letting the white blanket take his life away. He smiled at the thought of seeing John again.

Alexander woke up what seemed an eternity later in a warm bed wrapped in warm blankets. He tried to sit up, but soreness set in so he fell back and laid there. Glancing around, he didn’t recognize the room he was in nor the people in the paintings on the wall. All he could do was pray to God they would still be friends when they found who he was.

“Well I didn’t think Colonels got sick?” Eliza joked sitting next to him with some soup. He had fallen ill after falling into the river.

”And I didn’t think winter could be this cold, I guess we were both wrong Miss Schuyler.” He replied trying to laugh.

Alexander snapped out of his memory as soon as he heard the door creak. He saw a young boy about the age of ten standing in the doorway.

“E...Excuse me Sir…...are you awake?” He squeaked. Alexander had never seen a young boy look as frail as this one did. That’s saying a lot as he went through a hard war.

“Um yes I am. May I ask where I am?” Alexander asked the skinny child in the door.

“Nowhere special I’m afraid. It’s just myself and my mother. Oh this is the um the Thomas household. My father Colonel Samuel Thomas died during the war.” He glanced down at his feet sighing. Alexander could tell he was upset.

”What in the world are you doing buried underneath all the papers?” Eliza asked walking into his tent.

”Well since I’m an aide de camp, I am responsible for sending letters to wives, sisters, brothers, and so on that their loved one has died in battle. I’m currently writing a wife, well now widow that her husband died yesterday. He was a good man. One of the few men of whose these letters I can be personal about because I actually knew.I'll miss Colonel Samuel Thomas.” Alexander peered up at Eliza who was silently crying. “Dear don’t cry.” He stood up and hugged the delicate women in front of him.

”How could you possibly sit here day after day and write these letters?” Eliza asked crying into his shoulder. Alexander rubbed her back.

“Sadly it’s just the worst part of war.”

“Ahh yes I knew your father well. In fact I was actually the one who had the hard job of writing your mother that he had died.” Alexander sighed trying to sit up again. He asked himself how he didn’t recognize the man in the painting above the mantle.

“Oh well, would you some dinner? You’ve been unconscious for about three days now.” The Thomas boy told him. .

“Three days?” Alexander began to hyperventilate, but regretted it as soon as his chest began to burn.

“Sir, please calm down.” The young boy ran over and hopped in the bed with him, gently hugging Alexander. Alexander relaxed, feeling the arms of the small child around him. His presence formed a small circle of calmness to Alexander.

“SAMUEL!” A voiced called from the bottom of the stairs.

“YES MOTHER!” Samuel yelled back.

“IS OUR GUEST AWAKE?”

“YES MOTHER!”

“WOULD HE LIKE DINNER?”

“Would you like dinner sir?” Samuel asked Alexander again.

“I would like that very much Samuel.” Alexander replied to him ruffling his ragged hair. The child reminded him of his own boys at home. The ginger looked out the frosted window only to see feet of snow. He couldn’t possibly make it home in that.

“YES MOTHER, HE WOULD LIKE DINNER!” Samuel called. Alexander was helped from the bed and was given a cane to help with his sore muscles. Samuel popped up on his other side to help him down the stairs. As soon as he stood on his own, he felt like collapsing. Everything in his body felt weak like his bones were made of soft feathers. Clutching the cane and Samuel, Alexander slowly made his way to dinner where Ms.Thomas was setting three plates of chicken on the table.

“Thank you Ms.Thomas.” Alexander told her as he was helped into the chair by young Samuel. He admitted to himself that the help was much appreciated.

“You’re welcome Mr.Hamilton.” She replied sweeping a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear. He slid his eyes in her direction and for a quick second thought she was the one of whose relations started this whole problem. She quickly shook his head realizing many people have blonde hair. Not just her.

“This looks delicious Mrs.Schuyler. I thank you for letting me dine with yourself and your lovely daughters this evening.”

“Well Colonel, it was the least I could do for not letting my daughter freeze to death last winter on the way to her Aunt’s.” Alex glanced across the table to see Eliza blushing. Angelica was silently teasing while Peggy elbowed her for teasing Eliza.

“It could’ve happened to anyone, I’m just lucky it happen to have been your daughter.”

“Mr.Hamilton, would you like to say Grace?” Ms.Thomas asked. Alexander shook his head nodding yes. “Dear Heavenly Father above. Please forgive us of our transgressions and bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies. Amen.” Two echoed Amens chorused from the table and they began to eat.

“So where am I Exactly?” Alexander asked gingerly poking the chicken.

“You’re in Manhattan dear.” Ms.Thomas told him before sticking a piece of chicken inside her mouth. Alex went silent and ate the food in front of him. Once it was finished, he stood up grabbing the cane and taking his plate to the sink. Not being able to make it back up the stairs, Alexander sat down on a couch in the parlor. Little Samuel came running in and plopped down next to him.

“So Mr.Hamilton, how did you end up in the storm? Were you fighting off a mean old ugly animal?” He asked laughing. He grunted pretending to be a bear.

“How about we go up to bed and leave Mr.Hamilton be. It’s already past your bedtime little man.” His mother suggested patting his back and guiding him towards the stairs. Alexander watched the young lad slip up the stairs smiling and skipping. Ms.Thomas then sat across on the other couch.

“If you don’t mind my asking, how did you get here Mr.Hamilton?”

“I guess you don’t keep up with gossip huh.” Alexander told her.

“No, I don’t. Gossip is crazy and absurd.” Ms.Thomas replied.

“Well, about three months ago, my wife was away at her parents house with our children and her sister. I stayed behind because I had work to finish. If I hadn’t finished it, I could’ve lost my job. In the result of this, a young woman came knocking on my door one night. She told me how her husband had been beating her and abusing her. She asked for help. So I gave her some money and agreed to walk her home. Well things just went downhill from there. An affair happened, and now a few years later my wife and everyone one else has found out.”

“Years?”

“Yes years. It’s crazy that I hid it from my wife but, I mean, I couldn’t let her know that I had an affair with another women. I mean look what happened now that it happened. I’m here, and I’m sick. I could I ever make this up to her. Eliza will never take me back.” Alexander sat on the couch sobbing into his hands. Never would he believe he could reach a point this low, where he was left weak and vulnerable. If his enemies ever found out about this evening, he would never hear the end of it.

“Mr.Hamilton, would you rather have your wife find out after you die, or now while your living? At least now while your living, you have time to make up for it. To amend your wrongdoings. Do you think I’m pretty Mr.Hamilton?”

“W..What?” Alexander asked choking on sobs.

“Answer my question, do you think I’m pretty?”

“I..I mean...I mean I guess.” Alexander was taken aback by the question.

“Good.” Ms.Thomas got up and walked over to him sitting next to him. She sat down and laid her head on his shoulder. “That’s exactly the answer I wanted to hear.”

“My bedroom is right through here.” Maria told him blushing.

”I really should be getting home. It’s late, and something tells me it’s going to rain soon.” Alex replied.

Alex smiled at her and blushed. Ms.Thomas slapped him.

“Snap out of it. You are bad.” She got up shaking her head before walking off to the kitchen.

“Ms.Thomas I’m sorry. I didn’t mean too.”

“If you want me to continue cooking and providing medicine for you, you better learn better. Good night Mr.Hamilton.” She nodded her head at him and walked up the stairs. Alexander nodded back and sat by the fire in the parlor.

“Alexander, you’re...you’re telling me you had an affair with a woman ten years younger than you, WHILE I WAS AWAY AT MY PARENTS HOUSE!”

”Im sorry Eliza! I don’t know what out to say.”

”I say, get out of this house. I don’t want to see you anywhere near this residence. I don’t care whether you built it or not. You are a bastard! I wish I had never met you. Maybe I should have married some rich man like my parents wanted.”

By the time the fire had died, Alexander had made his way slowly upstairs to his bed. When he awoke the next morning he felt a small body curled up inside of his. He opened his eyes and saw Samuel in his arms. Alexander smiled and longed for his own boys.

“Good morning Samuel.” Alexander giggled. The small boy looked up at him and smiled up at him. Alexander had never noticed how green his eyes were before.

“Good morning Mr.Hamilton. I had a bad dream last night. I hope you didn’t mind that I came in and curled up with you.” Samuel told him.

“Of course not Sam….Can I call you Sam?”

“Of course Mr.Hamilton.”

“Call me Mr.Alex, something tells me we are going to be getting acquainted very well over the next few days.” The small boy nodded and smiled up at him.

“BREAKFAST!” Ms.Thomas called from downstairs. Samuel hopped out of bed, while Alexander took a few minutes. Once he was up, he grabbed the cane and followed Samuel downstairs. Ms.Thomas had breakfast set out for the three of them. He thought he would never be so happy to see hot tea, yet here he is. Sitting down, he went straight to his tea and gulped it down. Ms.Thomas giggled and offered him another glass. Alexander just giggled and nodded a yes.

“How did you sleep Mr.Hamilton?” Ms.Thomas asked him.

“I was out as soon a so hit the pillow, in honesty, I actually don’t even remember walking upstairs.” Alexander ate the eggs in front of him and nodded a thank you. He went to retreat to his bedroom but Ms.Thomas called him back to the parlor. She shut the door.

“You want to get better yes? Your muscles are sore yes?” She asked him.

“Yes.” Alexander replied.

“Bend over.” Ms.Thomas told him. “Touch your toes.” Alex gave her a strange look, but did as she told him. He bent over and touched his toes. She smirked and ran her fingers down his back. Alex started giggling and Ms.Thomas smacked his back.

“If I was your wife, I would kick you out too.” She told him standing him up. “Now stretch up towards the sky.” Alexander nodded and she came up behind him and started rubbing his shoulders. Alex put his arms down and leaning back against her. Alexander was met with steaming hot water.

“WHAT THE-“

“You are doing terrible at this.”

“What are you doing?” Alexander questioned.

“Do you want something like the affair to happen again?” Ms.Thomas asked.

“No of course not. I love my wife and my family.” Alexander told her.

“Then I’m helping you.” Alexander stood there for a second before realizing what she was doing. The wide eyed expression of his face told Ms.Thomas that he had caught on to her little idea. Alex just stood there blushing and mumbled a thank you.

“But Why should you keep helping me in the first place? How did I ever help you?” Alex asked.

“You were a friend to my husband while he was still alive, that’s how. And that boy in there, he has never latched to another male so quickly.” Alex nodded and sat on the floor doing more calisthenics. Ms.Thomas circled around him while Alexander stretched.

By the time they finished their little exercises, noon had come about. Ms.Thomas has retreated to the kitchen to make dinner while Samuel came in and asked Alexander to read him a story. He shoved a small book in Alex’s hands and begged him to read for him. He smiled at the young boy and patted his lap.

Samuel gleefully hopped up and got in between the book and his arms. Alexander opened the book and began to read. They got about fifteen pages in when his mother called that lunch was ready.

Alexander truthfully wasn’t hungry, but he ate the food anyways not to be rude. After lunch, he carefully helped clean the dishes, while Samuel dried and put them away.

After lunch, Alexander was dragged outside to play catch with Samuel. It didn’t take long for pain to set into Alex’s body, before he collapsed on the ground. Ms.Thomas ran outside. She and Samuel helped Alexander back inside and up to the bed.

Alexander wound up falling asleep and never awoke for dinner. The next morning, he found there was a note card beside his bed.

Dear Mr.Hamilton,

Samuel and I have left for town. I needed more groceries and some fabric for a new coat for the little one. We should be back by lunch time. If not, there is some bread and jam in the cabinet. Feel free to make yourself a sandwich.

Sincerely yours

Sarah

Alexander glanced over to the clock beside his bed and saw that it was eleven thirty. He slowly rolled out of bed and hobbled downstairs.

Several more days passed. It would seem to a normal person, that Alex and been beaten himself. To the only two people that knew the truth, the bruises were statement that he would never be lured by another woman again.

The time came that he would return home, he found that he was actually at a neighbor's house who lived far off the road. As he walked up the lane to his own house, he straightens his back and ran over what he was going to say once more. He ran through scenarios as well, like Eliza slamming the door straight in his face.

The cold, bitter wind began to swirl as Alexander knocked on the door to his own home. The beautiful brown haired woman who he had married long ago open the door with a kid attached to her hip.

“Eliza look please give me five minutes…” Eliza set the child down and pulled him inside and kissed him on the lips.

“I’m so sorry I sent you away. You could’ve died in that blizzard.” Eliza sobbed into his shoulder. Alexander shushed her.

“Elizabeth it’s ok, I promise. I found someone who helped me a lot. Look I promise I’ll never set eyes on another woman again. You my precious Eliza are my one and only. I love you, and only you. Nothing could ever change that.” Alexander told her. Alexander glanced up to see the children standing at the base of the staircase. Alex opened his arms wide and all the kids came running, hugging their father who had been missing for a week.

[aliras-eorzean-heroes]

Arrival(Saphira)

Hear… Feel… Think… Wanderer of worlds… 

Saphira’s head rung as she woke up on a rocking wood surface, squinting at the canopy of what seemed to be a strange carriage. 

“You awake, lass?” She heard a male voice ask and she sat up, turning to see it was a grizzled man, skin tanned brown and hair and beard blond colored. His eyes were green and concerned as he asked. “Y’all right there, lass?” 

Furrowing her brows and feeling some weirdness over her body, she nodded, before inclining her head questioningly.

“You were moanin’ somethin’ fierce for a while there.” He explained upon seeing her expression. “Feelin’ the effects of the aether, I reckon.” He then smiled gently. “You’ll get used to it, though, and au ra can adapt fairly quickly to it, don’t worry.”

She blinked, au ra? What was that? A small thump to her side had her turning her head and seeing a pitch black, scaly tail at her side, which was clearly attached to her. What the-

Then she remembered what happened before she lost consciousness. Reading from a tomb that strange girl helped her find, her siblings yelling for her, parents shouting as everything went white-

“Easy there girl, you look queasy again.” A hand rested on her shoulder, making her jump and her head snapped around to see a blond man, skin light and a odd tattoo on his neck, sitting by her with his brown eyes looking at her in concern. “You alright then? You were in a state for a while when I found you.”

She suddenly found herself thankful she was often considered the quiet one of her family and often didn’t show how freaked out she got over things, like her apparent change of race. “Y...Yeah.” Her voice was soft, meek as always as she frowned. “Found me?”

It made sense, she did seem to have opened a portal that yanked her and her family through to, she supposed it was another world judging by all she knew so far, but it was odd only she was found.

“Yep, found you in the desert, knocked out and clearly having some sort of night terror.” He nodded. “Couldn’t rightly leave a poor girl like that, so I carried you to the road before flagging down this carriage.”

“That man bloody ran right in front of the carriage, regardless if he scared the chocobos, just to get it to stop so he could get yourself and him on.” The grizzled man chuckled as the other grinned a bit sheepishly. “In all my years I’ve never seen that before.”

“Well when she’s in a easily preyed upon state and a bull’s eye for any amalj’aa…” He trailed off, shaking his head before turning back to Saphira. “Where are my manners? I already saved the fair mademoiselle and I haven’t even introduced myself! I’m Thancred.”

She felt her cheeks tint slightly at what he called her, but smiled and nodded. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Thancred.”

“You there- Halt!” She suddenly heard a voice shout from the direction of the front of the carriage, making her jump under the hand Thancred still had on her shoulder and tail lash against the bench.

“What’s this all about?!” She presumed that was the carriage driver speaking as she noticed some weird, big chickens for mounts walk up besides the carriage with riders in red armor atop them.

“Great…” Thancred groaned as she then heard a sword being drawn before another voice snapped. “Inspection! Men, search the carriage!”

Thancred, though for reasons she didn’t understand, was quick to put his arm over her shoulder, already sitting close to her as it was, and only had to slightly tug on her to get her to lean closer as a man came to the back of the carriage, presumably to inspect the cargo at the back.

“I’m just an honest peddler, friend. So, err…” The other passenger began, somewhat nervously towards the armored man. “Don’t be too disappointed if you don’t find nothin’, eh?”

“Mind your tongue, old man, lest I cut it out!” The armored man snapped at the grizzled man, and judging by the slightly angry growl Thancred let out, unheard by all but her because of how close she was, this was normal. Then, very clearly from where she was sitting, the man pulled a pouch off his belt before turning to the man on the oversized chicken behind him and said all too gleefully. “Sir, look! Somnus!”

“Honest peddler, was it?” The man on the oversized chicken seemed to mock. “Since when do honest peddlers deal in prohibited herbs? You’re in a lot of trouble, old man. You’ll rot in a dungeon until the ends of your days...” Then the man grinned. “Unless you can afford the fine.”

This wasn’t right, he hadn’t done anything and they were, they were blackmailing him into paying a fine like common criminals! Thancred’s arm on her tightened slightly as her shoulders rose, expression soured and tail twitched violently in expressing her anger.

“Heh, business as usual...” The peddler sighed as he looked at Saphira, just as she noticed an arrow sailing right for the carriage and the peddler’s back.

“Look out!” She cried out, a hand reaching out and pointing behind him, and the peddler moved just in the nick of time as the arrow narrowly missed his face by inches before it embedded itself in the carriage floor.

“Uwaaah!” The peddler jumped in his seat as she heard a voice from further away shouting. “Amalj’aa! Amalj’aa! To arms! To arms!”

She looked from where the arrow had come from to see another man in red armor running, being chased by what seemed to be lizard men of a sort, skin dark as onix.

“Seven hells…” The man on the oversized bird swore before looking back to the carriage. “Consider this a warning! Now go-All of you!”

The carriage took off with a start at that, Saphira jolting and bumping against Thancred’s chest at the unexpected jolt as she looked to see the men in red armor engage the ‘amalj’aa’ while they fled.

She strained her eyes to see what they were fleeing from, but with her practically being held against Thancred’s side it wasn’t easy and eventually she gave up straining her sight and peered up at the human man as her horn strangely enough bumped his chest. “Why did you do that?”

It wasn't that she was ungrateful for him seeming to shield her from the scrutiny of those armored men, she just wasn’t sure why he did it.

He tilted his head at her. “Those Brass Blades would have the shirt off your back if they fancied it, my dear girl.” At her confused blink, he furrowed his brow. “Those men were Brass Blades, you never heard of them?”

She shook her head, sitting up properly though he still had his arm around her shoulder as she scratched at her cheek, being startled when she felt something smooth and scaly under her fingers.

She noticed black onix scales in patches on her arm and hand as she lowered her hand slightly, like the ones she saw on her tail. She raised that hand to brush against her horn, that was different now, flat and curving back in a strange way-

Her ear was gone she realized as she traced the horn to it’s base, where she found it replaced her ear and seemed partially hollow, acting as her ear somehow? She looked to the other man on the carriage as he spoke and broke her out of her thoughts. “Like common bandits, the Brass Blades are, only less honest.” He laughed then. “Thank the gods for sendin’ some beastmen to the rescue, eh?!”

She blinked, noticing Thancred peering at her out of the corner of her eye before asking. “You sure you’re alright, miss?”

“I-Yeah.” She dropped her hand to her lap, swallowing as she resolved to check herself in a mirror or water to see her apparent new look in this world and freak out about it then. “Just, fine.” She exhaled, and she really hoped she wasn’t shaking, as she couldn’t tell. “I don’t know how I ended up in the desert, or really where I am, so I’m, a little disoriented.”

“We’re in Thanalan, on the road to Ul’dah.” Thancred answered her, watching her expression as she furrowed her brows.

“I’ve never heard of those.” She shook her head, peering around to see the landscape around them was of one of a desert.

“Where are you from then, lass?” The grizzled man tilted his head at her. “Oh, also, Brendt’s the name an’ peddlin’s me trade.”

“I’m…” Geez, could she really say she was from Faerun or Waterdeep? Did this place even have locations like her home city? Hells, she had nothing to lose other than getting odd looks. “I’m from Waterdeep.”

“Waterdeep?” The two men echoed, their tones showing they did not recognize what she said and Thancred shook his head. “I’ve never heard of that place.”

“Neither have I.” Brendt shrugged, peering at the girl. “You sure you ain’t mixing up Limsa?”

She shrugged, messing with her hands out of nerves. “I don’t know what Limsa is, so we’re equal in the not knowing regard.” She frowned, feeling much like a fish out of water.

“Hmm...” Thancred visibly thought to himself while Brendt seemed to fumble for a topic.

“W-Well, judgin’ by your strange garments, should I wager you’re one of them adventurers?” Brendt eventually managed to ask, referring to her outfit she had been wearing that was slightly ripped in places. From her climbing around and squeezing through tight spaces in some deep ruins mere hours from her perspective ago.

“Yeah, I had just returned from getting something from some ruins before I ended up here.” She shrugged, grimacing at the state of her clothes as she looked at them better. “Though I may need to acquire different clothes somehow, I had planned to mend these but since I’m far from home and without any money to get them mended I don’t think I can do that.”

“Perhaps I might be able to aid you?” Thancred began, smiling comfortingly at her. “I have a friend who often stays at my apartment when she’s in Thanalan and I’m elsewhere, so she surely has a few outfits she wouldn’t mind lending you if you would be okay with that? You could also stay there until you can afford a inn room as I have a guest bedroom.”

Saphira blinked, gaping openly at Thancred as Brendt chortled. “I think you surprised the poor girl to silence.”

Thancred grinned a little before looking back to Saphira. “Would that be okay? I can also show you to the adventurers guild if you wish.”

Saphira considered his offer, she was no more than a mere stranger yet he was willing to help her so much despite it.

After a moment, she smiled and nodded. “Please, I would greatly appreciate it.” At the smile she got in response, she felt her cheeks darken.

[new2otomelol]

How the heck did she get away? - A KBTBB Fanfic

Voltage owns the rights to KBTBB and all its characters. I created the MC = Soraya.  I wanted to try doing a different MC that actually runs away from the bidders.  Think of it as an action/adventure thing.  Enjoy!

SORAYA’S POV

My hopes and dreams were illuminated by the beautiful buildings surrounding me.  I have come far and wide in search of a new start, a new life.  My love for foreign languages had brought me to Tokyo where I planned to fully integrate myself into the culture behind the language.

I am a 25-year-old widow traveling from Texas.  My former husband and I were childhood sweethearts and had married at a young age. One day, while I was studying for an internship project, he was gunned down by a thug in the streets of our hometown. Losing him felt like I had lost the biggest part of myself.  I knew he wouldn’t have wanted me to wither and mourn him for the rest of my life, so a year after his death, I’m in a taxi headed to a luxury hotel in Tokyo, all thanks to the help of a friend of mine that had moved to Japan.  She rented a room for a week for me to give me time to find a job here in Tokyo.  “Tres Spades…wow, nice hotel, I like the name” I say out loud as the cabby takes my change.

I stopped breathing for a moment as I took in the wonderful view of the amazing lobby with marble floors, beautiful artwork, elegant water fountains, it was just a site to behold. I feel a little awkward as I walk to the receptionist since I’m 6’ 2” tall wearing skinny jeans, body fitting Star Wars Tee-shirt and my long black hair is twisted up in a bun being held together by a pencil. Can you say nerd?

As I register for my room and get ready to head to the elevator, a swarm of short women run past me to stand around a handsome man that just seemed a bit too arrogant for my taste. I lean down to pick up my luggage when a woman passing by wearing a ton of makeup and perfume bumps into me and I begin to topple over.  I reach my hands out to the counter in front of me to try and steady myself; however, I feel someone grab my arm and pull me up saving me the trouble.  I’m immediately met by a beautiful pair of grey eyes, a little below my height level.  I recompose myself as he lets go of my arm and bow to him thanking him for saving me.  He quickly glances me over and says nothing as he continues to walk away. He was extremely well-dressed, slicked back hair, grey suit.  Oh well, it was time to move on, to my room.

Once I put up all my items, I thought it’d be great to go and get a drink downstairs.  Since I had seen people dress elegantly earlier, I decide to put on a nice short dress and a shawl to cover my bare shoulders. I applied a small amount of makeup and head downstairs. Once at the bar, I fiddle on my phone as I slowly take in my Margarita.  “Hello there pretty lady!” I jump a bit as a man with a fedora hat startles me out of my concentration.  I begin to laugh a little because of my reaction “I’m so sorry sir, I was lost in thought, thank you for the compliment.” He smiles and sits next to me. “You know, I’m in a bit of a tight spot, I need a date for a party and mine just walked out on me.”  I down my drink immediately as I begin to feel a little uncomfortable. “My name is Baba, what is your name?” I give him a weird smile “It’s Soraya, but I should get going.” I begin to move from my chair to head of the bar when Baba stops me. “Please pretty lady, can you help me?” I laugh “for one Mr. Baba, I barely know you; two, as soon as I standup, you’ll lose interest in me…” he smiles as he looks at me intently “and why is that princess?” ugh, those lines… “because of this.” I stand up and he immediately notices that I am too tall for him. “I find this incredibly sexy!” I laugh again as I grab my purse and begin to head to the lobby, leaving behind a very confused Baba.

Once there, I notice many elegantly dressed people headed to a party area.  My curiosity gets the best of me as I get close to the entrance and a bodyguard stops me.  It is at that moment that I feel an arm drape around my waist. “She’s with me” I look over to find the man with the fedora hat holding me.  We both walk inside and he lets go of my waist.  He bows taking off his hat “beautiful lady, thank you for helping me!” and quickly disappears in a large room of people. Seriously?! Oh well, might as well make the best of it.  

I begin to walk around, drinking champagne and enjoying the music when the man with the fedora hat returns. “You again? Seriously man!” He begins to laugh “well, since we’re friends now, care to join me for a masquerade?” I sigh, but I was feeling tipsy and excited about doing something fun. “FINE!” so I accompany him to a secret part of the building wearing a mask. I know better than to follow complete strangers into an obscure area, but I can defend myself if need be. My husband had been a part of the special ops for the Marines, so he taught me many things.

I stand in awe as I see a wonderful underground theater with hundreds of people wearing masks.  I look around for Baba, but he once again disappears. I decide to look for him in the hallways when I spot an open door and I knock to check for him. “Mr. Baba, you there?” I take a step inside when I trip over something on the floor and fall knocking down a statue of some sort.  Immediately I hear footsteps rushing towards me. “The statue! It’s broken! We need a replacement and fast!” three men in dark suits look at me and suddenly grin… “time for you to take responsibility for that.” I begin to shake my head as one of the men restrains my arms and the other puts a towel on my face. I suddenly smell a weird chemical and I begin to lose consciousness fast.

I wake up to a man speaking in a weird manner and notice that I’m in a cage. I shake the cage with all my might and scream in Japanese “help me! Please! Help me!” The man points at me and describes me just as he would describe an item at an auction… wait a minute, they, they’re bidding on me? “No, please help!” The man with the weird hat and makeup smiles “SOLD! For $20 million!”

I feel helpless, scared… what am I going to do now? Two masked men approach the cage and take me out. I recognize one of them immediately, “it’s you! Please help me!” he motions me to be quiet as they lead me to an elevator.  Once inside I address Baba “I know it’s you Baba, please let me go!  What’s going on?” But he remains quiet the entire ride to our destination.

I’m lead into what seems to be the penthouse of the building.  Three other men wearing masks are lounging around the day room area. “It’s okay, you can all take your masks off now.” Says Baba. The man I had seen earlier in the lobby area of the hotel surrounded by women smiles wickedly at me and begins to talk “we bought you and now we own you.”

I feel rage seething inside of me and I scream at him. “I will NEVER be owned by anyone, especially by someone like you. I’m calling the cops!” I begin to turn when Baba stops me. “You see a cop anywhere around?” said the man with the grey suit. Baba answers, “yeah, right over there.” The cop gets an annoyed look on his face “why you gotta give me away like that?” The rest of the men laugh a little. All I can see is black and white as my vision blurs; I should be scared, but my love taught me better than that. I turn to face them all once again and scream, “I said let me go!  I don’t care if you have a crooked cop or you own the force!” I push away from Baba when then the man with the grey suit stands up and points a gun at me. “Do that and I will kill you.” I smile and walk towards him. “Shoot me, I’m not afraid to die.” His eyes widen at and he takes a step backwards, still aiming the gun at me.

My rage knows no bounds right now; I know I should value my life, but I gave death an open invitation when I lost my better half. “Eisuke, she’s not scared, she’s pissed off!” said a blond man that I could see out of the corner of my eye. “I SAID, SHOOT ME!” I yell as I get close to the man holding the gun, until I feel the cold steel on my forehead.  He keeps looking at me straight in the eyes.  He looks unsure of what to do. “Are you stupid! Do you really want to die right now?!” Asks me the man with the light purple shirt as he stands up and comes towards me. “Like I said, I have nothing to fear, I’ve lived my life.” I say this with so much conviction that the man holding the gun begins to tremble and lowers it.

“Princess, you can’t say things like that.” I stomp my foot and turn around to meet Baba. “You started all of this! Why did you lead me to that place? And Yes, I can say things like that, it’s my life.”  I hear someone whistle from the far corner. “Let’s settle down kid… first, let’s get to know each other.  I’m Mamoru, you already know Baba, the mobster there is Soryu, this is Eisuke and that youngster over there is Ota.”  I sigh and take deep breaths to try and calm down, but it isn’t working. “I’ll make it easy for you Mr. Soryu, lend me your gun and I’ll take myself out. I will NOT BE OWNED!” The men all take a step towards me and I feel Baba hold my arms behind me. “I’m taller than you shorty, I can easily shift my weight around on you, now LET ME GO!” I begin to struggle against Baba and true to my word I manage to make him lose his footing as he releases me.

Soryu runs to me and holds my arms behind me, he’s the closest in height to me. “Let me GO!” I continue to struggle against him. “Woman! You are wearing my patience thin!” I begin to laugh sarcastically “and what am I supposed to do? Just stand here and accept that a bunch of rich guys decided to purchase me as a toy? I didn’t study and work hard to be dominated by any of you.”  Eisuke walks towards me and holds me by the back of my head, making me look down towards him. “We own you, there’s nothing you can do about it. You want out of this, pay the money or work it off.” He’s so close to me that I easily lift my knee and strike him where the sun doesn’t shine.  He immediately doubles over in pain. “Ooooohh…. Boss, you okay?!” Said the blond man while the detective and Baba laugh.

“Woman, you’re a feisty one, aren’t you?” said my captor as he held me. I double over as if my stomach is hurting and Baba takes note “Princess, you okay? Sor, maybe we should ease off?” I immediately snap back up as fast as I can and hit Soryu’s head with mine, knocking him backwards.  Two down, 3 to go.  Baba comes at me again, but this time I drop to the ground and use my long legs to my advantage by swiping Baba’s feet below him.  I then roll out of the way, grab a base and throw it straight at Mamoru’s neck as he was trying to take out his weapon.  Ota is the only one left as I run to the elevator and he blocks it. I stomp on his foot as I get close and hit him with the palm of my hand on his chin, he falls backwards from the impact and I press the elevator call button fast.  I hear Eisuke and Mamoru cussing up a storm as they are getting up trying to rush towards me. “Woman, stop right there!” yelled Eisuke, but the elevator doors opened and I rush inside effectively closing the doors before any of them could get to me.  

I know they’ll have security waiting for me at the bottom floor so I press all the floor buttons that I can and prepare to make my escape through the elevator hatch.  Once the elevator stops on a 3rd floor down, I grab a hold of the cables and quickly make my way to a ladder on the wall. Luckily, there are air shafts everywhere, so I get into one and I start to make my way around.  I make it to one of the guest rooms and notice that someone is taking a shower. I take advantage of the situation and rummage through the clothes in the luggage.  Bingo! Female clothes! I put on an over-sized dress, a large hat and some glasses. This will help me make it through for a bit as I go through the hallways, I have to find a way out.  I make my way out of the suite and head to the elevators, the only chance I have is if the elevator is filled with people to where I can blend in.  

One of the elevators ding and notice that luck is on my side, it was stock full of people! I join the crowd as we make our way down to the lobby; I had been on the 33rd floor. That woman upstairs will call in a few minutes, after she’s done taking a shower, that someone went through her luggage.  Luckily, we make it down quickly and as I exit the elevator, I notice security guards focused on the private elevator.  I smile and head towards the back exit of the hotel, my height can give me away quickly, so I hurry.  

Once I make it to the back, I stop short on my tracks as I notice two men talking on their cell phone, they look like mafia goons. “Yes boss, we’ll look for her.” I hear one of the men say. Shit! I notice a laundry cart and I climb in while I wait for the goons to leave. Ten minutes pass and I finally make my way to the parking lot. I feel like I’m on an episode of “Mission Impossible.”  The parking lot is riddled with cameras and guards.  I strategically make my way around different areas and notice a laundry truck.  I sneak my way over to the truck as the back doors are open and rush inside, making sure I was out of sight from the cameras.  I hide myself under a pile of towels and wait.

30 minutes later the truck begins to move and I begin to feel relief briefly, but I have to be careful, it’s still not over yet.  20 minutes pass and the truck stops and the doors to my freedom are opened.  I wait for the men to take one of the laundry carts down and I make my way out as quickly and stealthily as I can.  I’m in some sort of warehouse near Tokyo Bay. Once I jump over the fence I run as quickly as I can to find a safe place to hide somewhere.  I’m not familiar with Tokyo, but I must avoid dark areas as well as any place near that hotel.

As I wonder around in the dark, I notice a small shop still open.  I wonder inside and am greeted by an old seamstress woman. “Oh my! Are you okay dear?! You look like you’ve been running away.” I smile at her and attempt to speak as calmly as possible “I am ma’am. I just ran away from something horrible and I’m afraid of getting caught.  I didn’t do anything wrong, but these people want to find me and I can’t tell you anymore because I don’t want to get you in trouble.” She smiles at me, walks over and holds my hands “I had to run away from my abusive ex-husband a long time ago, I know how you feel.  Why don’t you stay here with me, help me and we’ll find a way out of this together.”  I smile and give her a tight hug. “Yes! Please, I will help with anything I can!”

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE HOTEL

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU COULDN’T FIND HER?! She’s taller than me for God’s sake!” Soryu yells over the phone as Eisuke and Ota look at each other baffled at how a woman could get away from them, especially a foreigner.  A few seconds later Baba comes into the penthouse carrying some luggage in his hands. “Boss, her name is Soraya Rodriguez…” he sets her luggage down on the floor as he walks over to the rest of the auction managers… “she comes from Texas and looks like she has a teaching license and is a certified translator.”  Eisuke looks over to Mamoru “see what you can find out about her, call your contacts, NOW!” Mamoru gets up and begins to make some calls.  

Soryu goes through Soraya’s purse and finds her ID; he takes a picture of the ID with his phone and forwards it to his men. When he empties the rest of the contents of the purse he notices a photo slip out, it was a picture of the woman in a wedding dress with a man. “Looks like she’s married…” Soryu mumbles and is interrupted by Mamoru “correction kid, she was married, that guy there was shot and killed. According to my sources he was a spook for the Marines, but got shot down in his neighborhood by a punk over a year ago.  Seems like our escapee came over to start a new life here.” Ota stands up from the couch and heads over to help Baba go through the woman’s belongings. “No wonder she didn’t care if she died… that kid must have been heartbroken” said Mamoru.

Baba finds a book in her luggage and opens it to find a pressed flower inside. He slowly touches the pages as he sees that they appear to be stained by her tears, “I agree Mamoru, I think this guy was everything to her.”  Ota notices a sketchbook at the bottom of the suitcase and pulls it out.  There were drawings of people in a park, of the woman’s husband, flowers and many things she sketched. “She is also an artist, she has a good hand and eye.” Ota smiles as he picks up her sketchbook and takes it with him to the couch.

“I think we’ve done all we can for tonight. My men are looking for her and they have her description and picture, she won’t last long out there without being caught.” Soryu informs the others.  All the men nod in agreement and prepare to head to their suites.  “I hope for the kid’s sake that she’s okay,” said Mamoru. “We didn’t mean to cause any harm to the Princess” said Baba, who looked sadder than before. “I’ll tell you this much, she sure doesn’t fight like a princess, I’m just surprised she managed to get away,” Soryu said with a worried expression. “I wouldn’t be surprised if that husband of hers taught her a few things; we’re dealing with a smart woman here and we have to find her tomorrow.” Eisuke said sternly and with that they all left to attempt to rest.

SORAYA’S POV

I have been working with Ms. Lee for about a couple of weeks now.  I have not left the shop in fear of people looking for me, plus there is much work to do here. Ms. Lee and I have gotten along greatly and she has been assisting me in plotting of ideas to move away from Tokyo without being seen.  I have not told her about the auction and don’t plan on telling anyone as I don’t want to put people in danger.  

Ms. Lee was once in a situation where she had a powerful husband who would abuse her; she had run away from China and has been working here in Tokyo for over 30 years now.  She told me she thinks of me as her daughter and has gotten me used to wearing Cheongsam dresses. I especially love the fact that I can practice my Cantonese with her.

Today, Ms. Lee want to take me to a more remote part of Tokyo.  She decided to head to Nikko where there are many shrines and wonderful places.  She thinks I could be of great service to the tourist department as a translator there, but we would have to create fake paperwork for me while being there.  I gather my things and she asks me to wear a beautiful Cheongsam dress that she created for me a couple of nights ago; I can’t say not to her, she’s been my savior all this time.  

As we lock up the shop and head towards the train station I hear a scream from the alleyway. I leave my things with Ms. Lee and rush to see what the commotion is about.  A young Japanese woman was being held by a man when another younger man rushes along and tries to stop him, but the older man is too big. I run towards the girl and ask her to run away. I then face the two men struggling and I hit the bigger man on his pressure points along his neck as hard as I can causing him to lose consciousness.

I then turn to the younger man and offer him my hand to help him stand up. “th…thank you ma’am! You saved me! I should be ashamed of myself.” I smile at him “Not at all, you did a brave thing helping that poor girl out.”  He can’t even look at me in the face and places his hand on the back of his head in a shy manner. “I’m supposed to be an Ice Dragon and protect the week and now, I just… boss is going to get mad.” I laugh a little. “Well, if what you say is true, then your gang sounds pretty cool.  Keep your chin up and you’ll see you’ll get better with time.”  I ruffle his hair a little and stand up to leave. “Ma’am, I’m Inui, if you ever need anything, I’ll be there for you!” the man finally lifts his head to look at me “w.. wow, you’re tall!” I laugh and wave goodbye, “take care Inui, please be sure to save all the innocent people that you can!” I walk off fast and make it back to Ms. Lee. “Soraya, my goodness dear, I was worried, let’s go, we can make it if we hurry!” we set off to our new destination – Nikko.

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE ALLEY

Inui stands there looking at the wall of the building in front of him.  He is still amazed that he had just bumped in to a beautiful woman who saved him, not only that, but a VERY tall beautiful woman…. Wait a second, there was something familiar about her.  Inui takes his phone out and looks over the text message from a couple of weeks ago that was sent by his boss. “That’s her!” Inui exclaims and runs out of the alley way planning to follow her.

After a few hours, Inui sees that the woman settles in to one of the shrines near the Kegon waterfall. The old lady that was with her seems to be going back on her own, so that means that the lady will be living there. Inui heads back down to the station area and waits for the old lady to leave.  He then contacts his boss “Mr. Oh! I… I found her, THE woman!”

 SORYU’S POV

Great, what does he want now?  I take my phone out and answer it, “Yes Inui, make it quick!”… “Mr. Oh! I… I found her, THE woman!” I couldn’t believe what he had just told me. “Are you sure it was her Inui? We’ve been looking everywhere…” “Y..yes  sir!  She saved me from a thug in an alley and then I followed her here to Nikko, looks like she’s living here from now on.” I can’t believe he was able to finally do something right, well sort of, the idiot got saved by her, it should have been the other way around.  “Stay there Inui, we’ll be there shortly. Don’t lose sight of her!” I hang up and make my way over to the penthouse.

 That woman has been able to dodge us for two weeks now.  My men have been looking everywhere to find her, heck, even the lazy detective put in his time, but we couldn’t come up with anything.

 I make it to the penthouse and find all of the guys waiting for me. “Inui found her, she’s in Nikko, lets go get her.” Baba is the first to stand, but looks concerned. “What is it Baba?” I ask him, I can’t have anyone doubting things right now. “Shouldn’t we have something to drug her with, you know she’ll put up a fight? Plus, I don’t want to hurt her… from what we’ve learned, she’s gone through a lot.” I sigh and point to a suitcase I’m carrying. “I have what we need, now let’s move it. I promise she’ll be safe.”  We all head to the helicopter to make our way to Nikko.

SORAYA’S POV

It was hard to say goodbye to Ms. Lee, but I will be in contact with her.  I take my time and settle my things around the small apartment. Thanks to Ms. Lee, one of the shrine owners agreed to help me until my paperwork could be straightened out.  I take a look at the tourist guide book to familiarize myself with the area. There’s a beautiful waterfall some ways from here, but I’d like to see it one day.  I walk over to the window and open it as I take in the fresh air. It’s barely noon right now and the mountains look beautiful from up here.

I make a quick lunch and watch a little TV; I love Japanese programs.  I hear a faint helicopter noise outside the window and I decide to take a peak.  Down at the bottom of the shrine I notice the young man I helped earlier and see the guys from the hotel get down from the helicopter. NO! THEY FOUND ME! I quickly put on my sneakers and realize that I have no time to change, so I will have to run in this tight Cheongsam.  I tie my long hair into a bun, grab a flashlight and a bottle of water and I sneak out of my apartment.  Once I make it to a trail that leads to the waterfall I hear someone yell “Woman, stop right there!” that was Soryu, I’m sure of it, but no time, I don’t look back and begin to run.  I hear something being fired and notice a tranquilizer dart zoom right past me and hit a tree. So that’s how it’s going to be?

I tare the sides of my Cheongsam so that I can run with more freedom and do so in a zig zag pattern to avoid the darts.  I look back for a second and notice Inui, Soryu and Mamoru hot on my trail… I hear the helicopter and look up to see the rest of the guys pointing dart guns at me. Seriously! Don’t underestimate me morons!  I keep running and notice the waterfall straight ahead.  I make it to the very top and see that only Soryu was able to keep up with me.  I stop as I have nowhere else to run. Soryu comes up a few feet behind me and the helicopter flies above. “Stop woman, enough is enough, we’re not going to harm you!” Soryu yells as I bring my arms over my head. Think, Soraya, think! “Princess, step away from the waterfall, we won’t shoot anymore, just walk towards Soryu.” Baba looks at me with concern written all over his face as he yells from the helicopter flying above.

Certain moments in your life the decision has already been made for you.  The day I received the phone call that my husband had died, I knew I had no choice but to move forward.  Living without my best friend, my lover, it has been hell. Now that I am faced with this situation, I see no other choice. I had been looking to the ground as I was thinking this, realizing that Soryu had started to very slowly walk towards me, but he was still too far away.  The helicopter couldn’t get close due to the trees.  I close my eyes and listen to the powerful sound of the water as it makes its unyielding way to its destination.  

My eyes open wide with resolve and I look straight at Soryu.  He looks at me, trying to figure me out, but the more I look straight into his eyes, time seems to move slowly. Soryu drops his gun and begins to yell reaching his hands over to me. I had already pushed myself as hard as I could off the cliff and arched my back to prepare to dive… looking up to my feet I could see the helicopter and Baba hanging off to the side with a look of terror on his face. I close my eyes and whisper “help me my love or take me with you.” I next feel cold water and my head hitting one of the rocks; I lose consciousness immediately.

SORYU’S POV

I reached out to grab her, but she had already jumped. I can’t believe that she did it… why?  That look in her eyes, it felt as if she could see through me, to the very core of my soul.  I hear Baba calling to me as he throws the ladder down to me.  I immediately grab on to the end of it as the guys lower me to the bottom of the waterfall.  When I get there, I notice Soraya’s body floating in the water with a swirl of blood around her. God no, please be alright. I jump in and pull her out of the river. I notice she’s had a hard hit to the back of her head and some scratches and bruises all over her arms and legs.  “Soraya, wake up!” I start to lightly tap her on the cheeks. But she doesn’t seem to be breathing.

 I lay her flat on the floor and start the CPR process.  After a few attempts, she coughs and I quickly turn her over to let the water out of her lungs.  Baba climbs down the ladder as the helicopter hovers above. “Sor, how’s she doing?” I sigh and take a deep breath. “She’s breathing again, but we need to take her to get checked out.” Baba nods and he starts to climb back up to the helicopter. I pick up Soraya and place her over my shoulder and let the guys pull us up.

 We decide to fly back to Luke’s place so that he can treat her.  I hold on to Soraya and caress her face… such a strong woman.  Baba had been holding her legs as he sat next to me. “She doesn’t seem to have broken bones, but we won’t know for sure until we see the doc.” I nod in agreement.

 Once there, Luke was ready for us as Eisuke had called ahead.  He did some x-ray work immediately. “I need you guys to find her some clothes, she’s still wet, we have to change her immediately.” I dispatch Inui to purchase clothes for her while we wait.  Luke had to cut Soraya’s Cheongsam off her body to inspect for any other wounds.  I had to assist as Luke had no nurses to help.  She’s beautiful, can’t deny that part. Luke wraps her wet hair in a towel then pushes it away from her. He takes a good look at the hit at the back of her head and begins to stitch the cut. “She’s lucky that she didn’t hit any other area. She should be fine after some time.” Luke says.  He takes out some towels and a blanket. I dry her body as he patches up some of her cuts and scrapes. Inui makes it back after 30 minutes and we look at her x-rays, she has a crack on her femur and a broken arm. Luke hands me some scissors. “Okay, cut off her underwear and dress her, we have to tend to her broken limbs.  “Why me?” I ask Luke… “You’re the least perverted out of all of us.”  Oh God, this is torture.

SORAYA’S POV

I’m in the darkness and can see a light far away with people standing  all around it.  As I walk closer to it, I see my love. “Richard!” I yell as loud as I can, he stands there looking at me with a smile on his face.  He holds up a hand motioning me to stop. “It’s not your time Soraya, I will always be here for you, but right now, someone else needs you there.” I look at him in confusion and begin to cry.  The light gets brighter before me until I realize that I just opened my eyes. I see a white ceiling and as I turn my head, I see a window featuring the beautiful city of Tokyo right outside.

 I try to get up, but I feel a sharp pain to the back of my head, my arm and leg. “Nghh…. Ouch….” I say and next thing I know I hear the rustling of blankets in a bed next to me. “You’re awake!” It’s that Soryu guy… everything suddenly comes back to me.  I panic for a second and try to get up as fast as I can from the bed, but he rushes over to me and pushes me back down. “You’re not well enough to do that right now. You’re lucky to be alive. Now relax, we’re not going to do anything to you, okay?” I nod, again, no choice in the matter.

 “You’ve been out for a couple of days.  We were getting worried.  You’ve been one hell of an escape artist, difficult to track, even for my men.” He lets out a small grin as he lets go of my shoulders. “I know it was difficult for you to go through everything you have and then to be sold at an auction that probably topped it for you. Just so you know, we only bought you to help save your life.  There were far worst people in that auction than us.” I close my eyes as I try to re-shift myself and try and take it all in. “Soraya, I’m the one who purchased you and I am responsible for you. I don’t ever want to go through something like that again. Please stay by my side and help me as a translator. I will make sure to pay you well and accommodate you.”

I’m taken aback by his words, but I still don’t know.  He did save my life, so I guess will give it a chance. Plus, could he be the one that my love was talking about? “I… uh… alright… I will stay and help…” Soryu lets out a sigh of relief as he helps me readjust my pillows. “I will warn you though, I will take off the minute you do something weird!” I say this to him and he laughs. “I have no doubts about that. But I don’t want you to feel confined.” I lift my hand towards him and offer it as a sign of an agreement. He laughs and shakes my hand. “Alright shortie, I agree.” His eyes widen as he looks at me. “What?! You can’t deny it, even if it’s two inches, I’m still taller!” He gives me a funny look “maybe I should reconsider my stance on protecting women…” I start to laugh at his comment, but let out little moans of pain.  And so began our very weird, but interesting relationship…”

[the-fae-icarus]

@mr-henry-lascelles

July 1781

Kennedy takes the pitcher and grins, disappearing towards the dormitory. Henry (he is Henry now, never George, not inside his own head) is the last boy in the washing room. The floor is wet with spilled water. A single lantern left behind illuminates the long, narrow space. There are no windows here.

His feet are bare upon the stone floor. The tails of his long sleeping-shirt barely cover his knees since his last growth spurt. Henry has gained height but no mass, and it has done him no good; Kennedy and the others only seem to take it as another provocation. Thinks he's tough now he is tall. We'll show him everyone is equal at Harrow.

He knows that Kennedy has poured the contents of that pitcher out on his bed. He knows that because that's what Kennedy does every night. His eyes swivel to the pile of used and discarded towels, and he reaches out to pick some out to tuck under himself, when something goes... wrong in his head, like a bee-sting of madness. He goes for his breeches instead and pulls them on over his night-shirt and takes up the lantern, turning down all the sides to hide the light.

He tiptoes out into the corridor, past the door to his dormitory, his heart beating faster. His feet are swift; no other dormitory's boys come trundling towards him, no maid turns a corner for him to run into. The hall is dark, and in another moment he is half-way down the stairs.

The master's rooms are down the stairs, the door right at the foot. Henry hugs the banister to avoiding the pool of golden light at the foot of the stairs, as if brushing it would call the master down in all his fury. He rounds the banister and pads down the hall, towards the library, his toes curling on the floor. How can stone be so cold even in high summer?

The library is not locked, neither is it lit. He feels his way in. Moonlight is scarce and bumping into a chair now could mean expulsion and dishonour. He climbs up on to the second floor then behind three rows of book-cases, away from the windows, where no-one will see his light. There, he slides up one of the lantern's sides and looks around. Books, only books and silence.

Henry sits by the solitary desk wedged between two bookshelves, breathes out, then rests his head on his hands.

He did not even bring his pencil. What is he going to do? How does this change anything? He will have to go back to the wet bed and everyone will know he is a coward and an idiot. In the morning lessons, the Cockerel will deride him for his dark circles and have him recite until he is blue in the face. Treacherous tears rise up, and for a moment he indulges them, gulping his breaths, hand over his mouth to keep mum. At least in here no-one will hear him sniveling. 

@the-fae-icarus

Alair has been dead for a hundred and fifty-three years, and frankly they like it much better than being alive. There's no secrets, no spying, no more worrying, and all the freedom eternity can offer. Lately, what they've done with this freedom is haunt libraries---Alair figures they'd start with the ones in the British Isles and work from there---the Summerlands have nothing on a moonlit midnight and a good book. Harrow's is the latest in a series; they have never been fond of schools like it, thinks the type hasn't the slightest idea how to properly teach children and more traumatizes them besides, but this particular one has a decent Greek section. In fact, they are heading towards it when they see the light.

It's a lantern, that much they can tell. A couple more steps and a peek around the bookcase reveals one of the students. He can't be very much older than early teens---gawky in a way only those who've had their growth spurts much too quick can be, brown-haired and very thin and trying to muffle sobs behind his hand.

Alair's heart, if they'd still had one, would have wrenched. Poor dear.  They kneel down next to him, reach a hand out to a shaking shoulder, frown fiercely when their fingers pass right through him. "What's wrong, little one?”

@mr-henry-lascelles

Henry jumps, gasping aloud. There was a voice, and words--unmistakable, and right by his ear. He scrambles backwards out of his chair, and wipes the back of his hand across his eyes.

Hellfire! Did his chair make a sound? Was he caught? He backs up away from the desk carefully, slowly sliding the plate back in place over his light.

There is a silver outline near where he just sat, like luminescent spider-web, or a trail of dust that has caught the dew. It moves with the unmistakable roll of a human shoulder, and there is the shape of a head, and the shift of something large behind it, like feathers--

Henry puts his hand over his mouth again and bites his index finger; this time it is to keep from crying out. A part of his head is telling him to stop, that he is imagining things, that he must stay calm; it helps. He forces his breath to slow down and stares harder. The moon comes out from behind the clouds and the high window casts its light upon their nook of the library.

@the-fae-icarus

They don't know quite why moonlight has the effect on them that it does---perhaps something to do with its magical properties; Alair hasn't quite figured all the various intricacies that come with being a ghost, after all. But the why doesn't matter right now. All they know is that it lends them a bit more power, a bit more detail and solidity.  The boy would be able to make out their face, their ragged clothing, the individual feathers of their wings. They stand, hands raised in the most calming gesture they can muster, hunching, drawing their wings together----in short, making themself look as nonthreatening as possible.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I just saw the light, and then you were crying, and I just...I just wanted to help, that's all. That's what I used to do."

@mr-henry-lascelles "Holy God," Henry whispers. The tears well up again. He had cursed in his head. Does the angel know? "Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy--I am sorry--I will confess--" He is lying. The fact that he still whispers betrays it. "Please don't make me go to the master. I know I shouldn't be out of bed."

@the-fae-icarus

"Wha---wait, what?" Alair crouches down to eye level again, pulls out a handkerchief---not that it can do much. "Oh, poor little one. You're not in trouble at all. No need for praying. Shhh, it's alright."

@mr-henry-lascelles

Henry reaches out for the handkerchief instinctively, only to have his fingers pass through it. There is a sensation of cold, and a slight tingle. He breathes a laugh; a part of him wonder why. He wipes his face on his sleeve instead. "I apologize for my dress," he whispers, serious once again. "I did not think I would meet an angel here. You are very beautiful, sir."

@the-fae-icarus

Alair smiles. "I thank you for the compliment, young sir, but I am no angel. Simply the ghost of a winged man who was very fond of libraries. And even if I were one, I would think that dress would hardly matter to a real messenger of the Lord. After all, wasn't Jesus himself swaddled in rags as an infant?"

They glance down at themself, tucking the useless handkerchief into a pocket. "Besides, I'm in a pretty sorry state myself."

@mr-henry-lascelles

"The ghost of a good man is a saint," whispered Henry with unfounded confidence in theology, "and the rags of saints can only serve to elevate them."

Henry had known God and His saints and angels were real, of course, but he had never for a moment thought they would be so easy to talk to. "Have you come to help me, truly?"

@the-fae-icarus

Alair wonders if ghosts can blush. Then they wonder if it would be visible. "I would make a very odd saint, then, being the man I was. But I will help you, if I can. I only need to know what I would be helping with. Why were you crying, little one?"

@mr-henry-lascelles

"I'm not that little," Henry murmurs. He hugs his arms to himself. "It was silly to be snivelling. The other boys don't like me. They don't let me sleep and they take my food and call me horrible names. I tried fighting them but they beat me, and then the master beat me for fighting. I don't care if they don't like me, they can all rot. I wish they did." He grits his teeth in the dark. "I put salt in the prefect's soup. I bet I could put arsenic, if I had some."

@the-fae-icarus

There is a moment in which Alair only looks at the boy, filling with a profound kind of regret, the kind that only comes with the realization that they are looking down the years into a mirror. They remember that age, that desperation, that hurt, that hatred.

"Come," Alair says. "Would you sit by me again, please? There's something I would like to tell you about revenge. And it's not all that poppycock about never taking it. The people like the other boys, like the master, they need to know there's consequences to actions like theirs. They deserve to be stood up against. But there is still something I need to say."

@mr-henry-lascelles 

Henry hangs his head. "I wasn't really going to. I just like thinking about it." He shuffles closer, then remembers himself, corrects his stance and stops dragging his feet. He sits and watches the almost-there ghost with wonder, but no fear.

@the-fae-icarus

"I know," they say. "I know. It's not about that, either. Not exactly."

Alair turns away, towards the window, towards the moon. They cannot bring themself to look at him during this part. They think this will be the first time they've told someone this story, and the thought seems fall through them, blurs their outline a little. "I was younger than you when it started; maybe six, seven years old. I...I didn't look quite as human as I do now. And that was why they choose me, I know. There were three of them; I'm surprised I lasted as long as I did. I took the bloody noses, the winded lungs, the broken leg, because I knew that if I did both me and my mother would be run out of the village. I kept trying to make friends with them, and kept failing. Gods, I was naive."

A deep, shuddery, unnecessary breath. "One day, they invited me to play with them at the base of the cliff our village was built on. I think I knew it was a trap, on some level, but I wanted to try  to make peace, if only for Mam's sake. So I went. Two of them came up behind me, tied my wings shut, caught my arms. The other one started dragging me towards the ocean. The next thing I remember is a hand on the back of my neck, forcing my head under the water. So many people talk about drowning being a cold death, but it's not. It's like your lungs are raw and burning. Like something is scratching to get out. That was the first time I died."

It is obvious that their story isn't over yet, but Alair pauses and risks a glance at the boy again, shame in every inch of their expression.

@mr-henry-lascelles

Henry smiles at the thought of trying to make friends with one's tormentors. The ghost, when young, was both braver and more optimistic than he. The smile twists at the description of following the children when invited to play. That is how Henry got tripped into a mud puddle right before History.

It is so easy for them to gain your trust, even after they have done things that should revoke it forever. One friendly conversation and you follow them like an idiot. It is perhaps the hope that the torment might finally be over.

He swallows. He has not really considered the prospect of being killed. "But you look like a man, not a boy. And you said it was the first time. You survived?"

@the-fae-icarus 

"Yes. A...a man named Kee was passing by, hunting for clams. He saw me floating in the shallows and dragged me out. I had been dead for two minutes. But somehow, he knew to expel the water from my lungs. Kee took me home to my mother; and then he asked if I could become his apprentice."

A smile, small and shining, makes a sudden appearance. "The days I spend with him were some of the happiest of my live. We traveled, we traded, we repaired. It was an entirely new world, a world full of woodsmoke and colors I never knew the name of---and the music. Always the music. I never wanted to leave. But eventually I had to come home. And when I did, I was furious. The elders had left my mother on the outskirts of town, to rot, and my tormentors were now powerful. Happy."

"So I watched. Observed from a distance, used what skills Kee had taught me. And then I cornered the ringleader in his home and tore his heart out."

Here now was the real shame.   Alair curled up in the other chair, wings, hands, arms wrapping around themself to hide. 

@mr-henry-lascelles

Henry leans forward to listen, his body almost keeling off the chair. He wants that! For someone to come and take him away! His life has been laid out before him his whole life, with only a moment's consideration for the sea to vary the straight line. He reaches out to touch the apparition's wing, but his hand encounters only cool air.

"Sir, did you really? His actual heart? You must be a very old ghost. It sounds like the kind of thing people could do a long time ago, when there was magic in England. Did you save your mother? Did the others run away?"

[aaronaknightca]

156 | How To Invest In Your Wireless Career with Ferney Muñoz

In This Episode:

Keith kicks things off with introducing us to another page of the Wireless LAN Professionals Custom Field Notebook. This is the page that contains 3 resources:

dBm to milliwatt conversion chart

State Machine – great for explaining concepts visually for clients

Frame control field chart

Ferney Muñoz talks about what investing in himself as a Wireless LAN Professional means to him. He also shares a couple of his favorite tools for surveys. No surprise one of those is the Ekahau Sidekick. Another tool he loves, especially for outdoor surveys is a hunter’s range finder.

Time Stamped Transcripts

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Episode 156.mp3

: Wireless LAN Professionals is a place to educate inform encourage and entertain those involved in wireless LANS. This wireless LAN professionals podcast is an audio manifestation of these goals. Our host is a wireless LAN veteran consultant designer and teacher Keith Parsons. And now the podcast for wireless LAN professionals by wireless LAN professionals.

: In this section we’re going to talk about one of the pages from the WLAN Pros Notebook.(https://www.wlanpros.com/shop/notebook/) This is the page that has dBm to milliwatt conversion. One of my favorite things to teach and I have a little thing it’s a five minute to dB the milliwatt conversion (https://www.wlanpros.com/resources/easy-db-math-5-minutes/) it’s a very simple way to go about doing it. And I think anyone who is in this industry should be able to think in your mind very quickly the dB to milliwatt, the milliwat to dB and that should be almost instantaneous going back and forth. But first some of you might be new in the industry haven’t been going long we added this little conversion table right here for you. The tricks we use in dB the milliwatt conversion – things like you know using 3s and 10s. So a 3 on the left side in dB is equal to a 2 two on the right side in “normal math”. Those tricks work really good and very fast to figure out how to do that. Just realize that when you get up to some numbers like if you do double double double double the 2 4 8 16 you get up to 512 or 1024 on this table it shows a thousand. That’s because the difference between the trick using the dB math trick and the actual logarithm are slightly off. So if you if using your tricks and you get a number like 512 and the table shows 500 or you use 500 but 512 is what you’ve been using. They’re still the same. You’re not going to get too confused with that.

: We also added on this page a couple other pieces that I think wLAN pros should know fairly, fairly consistently. And the reason we added them here so when you’re talking with customers sometimes it’s easier to show them a graphic. So the “State Machine” is a graphic that you can go and show and when you’re describing the process of how a client does probe request – probe response, than authentication request then authentication response, then association request, then association response and it gets into the authentication process later.

: You can point back in a show where there’s layer, there’s 802.11 authentication and there’s authentication after 802.11 finishes and how the state machine works. As well as looking at the disassociation and de-authentication showing how far back in the process you go depending on what frame is sent.

: And the third thing we add on this page was the frame control fields, specifically for the “to bit” and “from bit”. These little DS bits are very useful and depending on how they’re set each of the addresses will either be BSSID, the MAC address of the AP, or the station, the source address, the transmitter address, the receiver address, or the destination address. And those are all little table there for you to understand.

: It also shows when you get to the, the only time you use all four of the addresses are if you’re “to bit” and “from bit” are both set to 1. If they’re both set to 1 then you are in bridge mode or a mesh mode.

: Let’s get to know our colleagues and friends with a shared passion for Wi-Fi. It’s time to search WhoIs…

: Ferney welcome to the show amigo. How are you sir?

: I’m doing great. Matthew thank you for having me on the show.

: Of course. It’s been a while since we’ve been face to face.

: Yeah.

: I guess the last time I wasn’t too far long ago. We were moving boxes around. I think.

: That is correct. We were rearranging the Lending Library inventory and all kinds of things. Yes.

: And now you just kind of got back from a whirlwind tour with your family a little different traveling than normal. Tell us about that.

: Well I am usually traveling just for work as you know with CWNE, CWNA classes or Ekahau classes or consulting and this time it was it was just a holiday. Just vacation with my family. I have three kids, 3, 8, and 9 and traveling with kids can be challenging. We went to Europe and everything went well except that I left the passport in a taxicab in Rome and we had no passports a few days but we got emergency passports. But other than that it was very good. Just the same challenges going through airport security and all kind of the hassle channeling. But this time without gear and just relax. So yeah it was definitely.

: A different kind of gear gear for kids.

: Yes yes. Diapers and bottles and milk and yes.

: iPads.

: Yes absolutely.

: For the few that may not know you at all, tell us a little bit about yourself, where you got started in Wi-Fi and what you’re up to, you know you alluded to some training, but what are you up to nowadays?

: Well for those who don’t know me I’m Ferney Munoz they call me Fernie or Prenay or something like that..

: Or “hey you!”

: Hey you. But Ferney works. I’m originally from Colombia and I moved to the States back in 99. March of 1999 and started working at a school district in high school as a volunteer doing all that technology stuff. I start with technology many years before that in Colombia and here I started working directly with networks and then later I owned the network for the District – a big network. Of course in about 2001 or so we were working just with mostly wired networks

: school districts..

: School district yes. Started seeing some of the wireless stuff come into play and then later on about 2009 we started a new district. That district split off of a big district. It was about a hundred schools before the Salt Lake Valley area. The Jordan School Districts split and from there Canyons School District was born and then we own that network. We started implementing wireless like big time. Removing all of the standalone a 802.11b,g devices and getting rid of difficult to manage. Basically home devices were installed in the district before. And now we were finally working on an enterprise class network. So I was thrown in the Wi-Fi arena as many of us were. Where we were on wired networks and one day someone said, “Hey, you know we have this new wireless thing that needs to be installed or configured.” And all of the sudden they made us wireless professionals without us knowing what that meant.

: We started installing Xirrus those big flying saucer looking arrays. They were not called access points – arrays. Multiple radios and all kinds of challenges with the wireless. Of course we have 50 buildings about 40000 students and some 4000 employees and we have to provide Wi-Fi for everybody. And in a school district is a very dynamic environment. Everybody is – teachers trying to add curriculum and cool devices to their curriculum. And trying to rely on Wi-Fi and many just bringing Apple TVs and many home devices that they want to implement in the enterprise environment. And it all came at once.

: You got thrown in the deep end and you suddenly we’re a wireless LAN professional.

: Yes. Of course today it’s like,”Well, do you know how to do it?” “Yeah I got Wi-Fi at home.” “So you know Wi-Fi – then you’re in charge now.”

: Now actually we had about 650 of these devices implemented in the network and were in charge of computer making work. Of course we having all kinds of problems and we had issues. The company they sent an engineer and they walked around with a computer and gear and stuff then they gave us a green map at the end. But we still had issues.

: And through that process I just got tired of kind of being held hostage by vendors.

: “Hey what do you go there? Let me do this myself.”.

: We have a big environment, we have budget and we cannot just schedule an engineer to come whenever they can when we need it now. So we like let’s do it ourselves.

: Through that process we met Mr. Keith Parsons. That’s how I met him is that he was hired to come and help us. We worked with a gentlemen Jared Griffiths before and now he kind of met Mr. Parsons and brought him on board and he help us. That’s how I started basically doing Wi-Fi. Before I was just kind of like try and figure it out with my team and finally with Mr. Parsons kind of showed us how to do it ourselves and understand it. And I got some training from Airmagnet and that some CWNA training.

: So you just kind of started jumping in there and learning all you could. Well one of the purposes of this interview and kind of this series of interviews is obviously taking experience from guys who have been in the trenches and sharing that with obviously your peers and your colleagues but also people maybe who are getting started in wireless LAN. And so I was thinking of some questions that might be able to help us with that end in mind. And one of those is “If you could go back to your younger self thinking about when you got started here like in the story, what’s a piece of advice you’d give yourself then that might have helped you avoid some of those headaches along the way?”

: Well you know without a doubt. If I could go back to that first instance said, “Hey you know you’re going to be in charge of these wireless networks.” I would have said “OK. I need training.

: Don’t assume that because it works at home I can do it here in the School District. “Why not?” I mean and everybody has that mentality like “How hard can that be? I mean just plug it in and it works.” That’s one of the problems with Wi-Fi – It works. It always works, it’s just works poorly. We were just putting out fires that we had no idea how to approach. So getting training would’ve definitely made our lives so much better.

: So, right away just say, “OK, I need training just jump in there and do it.”

: Yes, yes. Absolutely. And some companies are proactive because one of my, many of my students have been in class and they are like, “Well I was the cable guy and now the wireless guy left. And now they want me to start doing this but and they send me to get training.” So those are easy to work with because they have nothing – no knowledge. The are starting from scratch. But others like us that were thrown in the field with no knowledge it’s their responsibility.

: We start figuring out how to configure the controllers and how to make this work and how to enable and disable things and we know how to do it but we don’t know why. Or we don’t know if it’s performing like it’s supposed to until something blows up. So definitely training. CWNA is a very good vendor neutral training. Because that’s another thing I found out Matthew, is that a lot of guys that come from Cisco backgrounds they come from Aruba backgrounds and they have all kinds of certifications and training from that vendor. But once you start getting to the basics of the technology – not the brand – is like, “Well this is totally different.”

: So obviously if you have access to those trainings and certifications take them.

: Yes.

: Don’t just stay there.

: Absolutely. Don’t just think that because you’ve got a Cisco certification in wireless you’re a “wireless expert” No, it just it just doesn’t doesn’t end there.

: What’s one thing you think you did right early on as you started in working with Wi-Fi?

: Umm I think it was admitting that I didn’t know anything. I kind of knew, I mean I thought I knew how it works – some basics. Later on when I met Mr. Parsons and we took some like formal training, real training I started realizing that we were doing a lot of things wrong. But I think that the first approach is just kind of being humble and saying, “You know what? I don’t know it”. I think that’s the hardest step. Because of course you’re a professional, you’re in the field, and you’re in charge.

: And you do know a lot probably.

: Yeah and you know I mean a lot of these guys there they have knowledge about servers, they have knowledge about virtualization, they have knowledge about networks, wired networks, switching, routing and a whole bunch… I mean these guys are super smart. But Wi-Fi is just a different monster. It just works differently. And also I’ve come across guys come from the cellular networks. And they also, “of course I know this, I’ve been doing this for many years.” But when you start talking about Wi-Fi is that some things just don’t make sense. “Wait isn’t that how it works in cellular.” Exactly. Wi-Fi is just different.

: And you mentioned CWNE and the whole gamut of those – Is that the certification you recommend for everybody or is there a path you recommend?

: Yeah well for those who are not familiar with CWNP program – starting with CWNA is definitely “the” beginning. If you want to continue walking this path. That’s a certification. You can study on your own. You can take a formal class – CWNA class. and then for the certification you have to go to one of the Pearson VUE testing centers (https://home.pearsonvue.com/) and get certified and you pass then you’re good, that’s your certification.

: Then you there are three other certifications you have to do. The CWSP is the “Security” one. CWAP which is the “Analysis Professional”. And also the CWDP which is the “Design Professional.” They don’t have to be taken in that order. I recommend taking the CWNA then AP, then SP, then DP. Some guys take it out of the way after the Ekahau class because a lot of stuff in there (inaudible). But once you take those four certifications you submit an application to CWNE board. They’re a board to evaluate. You have to do some essays, write some stuff. They will evaluate it and you have to log… I mean the listeners who are not familiar with the program they can just research and find out exactly what they have to do. But that’s definitely the way get it. And once you get approved then you become a CWNE which is like at the expert level. Which by the way it doesn’t make you an expert you just get your certification. And once you’ve gotten there…

: It’s just the beginning as you’ve said I think in the past before. So kind of along this train of thought, what does “investing in yourself as a WLAN professional mean to you? Is it just certifications? When someone says, “You need to invest in yourself as a WLAN pro.” What does that look like?

: For me, in my case, with the school district there are certain limitations and politics involved – policies, “If you are going to go to this conference you have to apply within 30 days. And it can’t be out of state. And the school district is not going to pay for certain things. And it will not pay for others.” So it’s kind of complicated. And one of the challenges I faced when I wanted to attend the first wireless LAN Professionals conference was that I didn’t get the school district to pay for it. Either travel, or attendance, or days off or anything. So investing in myself at that point – I had to make a decision. OK, the conference is $2,000.00. I’m going to have to take a week off that I’m not going to get paid for. This is family vacation days that I could use with them somewhere. Or just go a get – just go to the conference. Paying for all this stuff at that point was a decision we made. And yes, later then it was the certification that the district did pay for the class and then I had to take the exams. I think investing in yourself, for me it was not only making the investments that I have to pay this money from my own pocket. No company is paying for it. Nobody is sponsoring me.

: Although later I got sponsorship from Wireless LAN Professionals. I got a scholarship, to go to the second conference. That’s how I ended up to working out for Wireless LAN Professionals and some of the stuff formed in Ekahau and then just independent contracting. But it was also the effort, it’s just the time you’re putting to it. That’s just an example. The other one was when taking the certification of the exams. I mean, studying for the exams. Investing myself meant that I had to wake up at 4:00 in the morning, study for a couple hours then go to work. Then after work, I had to come home to help with the kids and stuff and study some more. Then my lunch break just grab something that is really quick and study more and study more. So at that point, I was not investing money. I mean, I have already purchased a book and study on my own but it’s just that extra effort when instead of watching a show, you’re sitting down, reading a book and making research to understand the concept. And also, another thing, there is the pain by yourself to go to conference and exams and classes and stuff. That’s when the effort that you have to make to chill this certifications and learn it.

: Its almost like “no one cares about your future more than you, at all”. That’s for you. It sounds what I’m hearing is, there’s this point in time where you make a very clear decision like this is worth whatever it takes.

: Yes. Absolutely. And then on top of that “if”, because I’ve come across many guys that they’re not working for anybody. So you don’t have that playground to learn the actual status. Taking the exam and passing the certifications can be simple for some guys.

: And the exam is based on what I’ve read. And then they have the certification but experience is the biggest because the exam is the exam but the real thing that getting the experience out in the field is the difficult thing if you don’t have an environment. I was lucky enough that we have the whole district. That was my playground but that was my age up that I had to make work efficiently. So I had a real environment.

: What about labs? Investing in lab? I hear Keith talk a lot about that when I got the Lending Library (https://www.wlanpros.com/how-the-lending-library-works/) and those kind of things. Why is that important? And how do you do that?

: Yes, thank you and that’s the next. Thank you for the segue. That’s my next point. If you don’t have an environment to apply the knowledge and real environment, then you have to build the lab and that implies buying some equipment. And yeah, we have the Wireless LAN Pros – Lending Library (https://www.wlanpros.com/product-category/lending-library/) where people can just get like enterprise class equipment that they can play with in configuration and wipe it clean without affecting users. So it is really really necessary to have a lab environment. Now here’s the other thing that’s cool. If you don’t have a real environment, you don’t have the means to get your hands on that enterprise equipment, it’s down here. That’s how a huge investment because I approaches somebody you know on the field. If you’re going to do a survey, can I just shadow you go there with you. And you don’t have to pay me because that’s when there’s…

: There are a lot of people like “yeah, you can come with me.” But they can be company policy so you cannot just bring in somebody have this stood with you. They get heard who’s liable for the company where you’re doing the survey or us doing this. I mean it’s just not as simple as that, but if you come across somebody, “hey, I’m going to do an installation”. Sure! I help fill your cables, I’ll help you mount a piece, or show me and I’ll have to configure in. Just volunteer. Volunteering I think is one of the greatest things that I’ve done throughout my career, not just on Wi-Fi but on networks and computers.

: But again that’s another thing that has to be align right. Because you have to get the right people, the right environment and if you have a day-time job, then you have to make sure you can make it work around your schedule. So that’s not another big investment, but another nice way to obtain them.

: And something that’s worth doing. Worth the sacrifices.

: Absolutely.

: And I know it’s so much easier to just go home and sit down and watch a show or do nothing. Doing nothing is fun. But it’s just sometimes we have to sacrifice.

: On a different kind of angle, I just have some other questions here. What’s a mistake in the industry you see people making on a consistent basis that you wish you could stop from happening?

: Well let’s see.

: You’re teaching a lot. Is there things you’re running into that people just aren’t thinking about?

: Well, I think the first thing that comes to mind is the installing APs, since it’s always one thing that is commonly being done that just doesn’t work that well in Wi-Fi. There are many reasons why there are blogs, lots of blogs out there explains why. That’s a very common problem. Sometimes it’s not because people don’t know that that’s bad. It’s because they are told to put in there. And that’s one of the big mistakes that I see overall in the industries – is that we, as Wi-Fi professionals are been told by engineers and architects and interior designers where and how to monitor access points.

: I wouldn’t say that’s the biggest thing. Because of course, they end up in the hallway there’s a subset of somebody told me to put that. Why? I don’t know. They said put them there because that’s the only way to access. Because they look pretty in there, because they want a blinking lights inside this room or that room or because my code, they cannot have an some areas, industrial areas. I mean, there’s so many things but to summarize that, the biggest mistake is that we are letting others to tell us how to design. And another kind of related to this, is that a lot of deployments are being done without designing, without doing all of the research. Do you know why were so many news during the ancient times they had, they were deployed? They were just installed by somebody because that’s what they said and then there is no design because nobody sat down to figure out why and where. I mean, what type of device? How long you have these? Asked all questions we have to ask when we’re creating a Wireless design.

: Well, it sounds like with this podcast and a lot of the other great podcasts on Wireless LAN and the conferences, were hopefully moving the needle on some of that stuff and educating and encouraging each other and better testing gear, sidekick those kind of things that help prove the need to do things properly.

: Absolutely Yes.

: Alright. Well, what is one project you have been involved with that you’re the most proud of and why?

: Well, there were several which is the network I owned. I worked on other network but this is the biggest one. And I think not the biggest project but one of the project that makes me proud that I had all which I had was some Wireless LAN we had to do for a school. That was a school that was being demolished. That school was crossed the district office and transportation warehouse of the entire school district transportation department and warehousing. They were connected to the school that was being demolished. We got quotes from companies to get another 9 run to that transportation from the district office. And they came to $70000-80000 to run the new fiber cable over there. Because they had to go across the street, and they needed city permits and they need it.

: It was just complicated long and difficult. It was $80,000 and I got that one like $105,000 for that Wireless LAN entire department- Those two buildings and facilities very critical portions of district transportation and it would be warehouses as well. So that was one of the little projects can like wireless works and they saved the district money and we had another.

: Lot of money.

: Yes, a lot of money. We had another similar project where we had to to build a school in between two buildings and with wireless. Thanks for acknowledging Wireless. Have that done fractional cost and the time because basically had to change in the winter and we had to wait for temperature, equipment and the permits and everything. Basically, Wireless is one site that now goes out the other one like within half a day, we had a whole building connected.

: Everyone was shouting: “Ferney! Ferney!”.

: Yeah!

: The flip side that’s the..

: It’s the contractor that wanted to do it.

: Yeah, exactly! They were hunt you and hide out for a while.

: Yeah.

: On the flip side of that, what’s a mistake you’ve made that has really taught you something valuable?

: Oh men! I made so many mistakes not knowing which one could be more significant.

: But oh! And you know what? I think here’s one. Now that you really got. I took at first year CWNA class and the AirMini class on Mr. Parsons. It took me like 4 years to actually get certified. Big mistake! Because you take the classes its four days, five days and you did it from 8 in the morning till 5 in the afternoon. At the end of Friday, your brain is just overwhelmed with Wi-Fi knowledge and you have all that stuffs fresh in the head. Big mistake I made. I’ll take the exam when I’m break. You’ll never gonna be ready. There’s so much tool. It was a big mistake. And then made it to the class again. I’m going to study and then when I’m ready, like never way. So if I could do that one after the first class on the day of the end of class, I shouldn’t have done and take the exam or the morning following that. That was one mistake and that would have saved me a lot of hassle and I would have made my CWNE process each year.

:  A couple couple more questions here. Favorite piece of equipment you’re using these days and why?

: You know without a doubt the sidekick (https://www.wlanpros.com/resources/ekahausidekickreview/) Yeah, it used to be my Air Check. That was pretty useful and I think I still have it. And of course I think every Wireless LAN Professionals should have checking their tool bags. But the sidekick definitely has changed the way in which I do surveying and the analysis on it. So I’ll tell you why? We have doing surveys we have to carry USB hubs, we have cables next to it and we have wireless mix and we have spectrum analyzes and we have two carry 2.4 and 5gig one. So we have all this bunch of little bits and pieces connected to our computers. Which you’ve seen in videos. You know the survey tray. How troublesome that can be just carry around your computer with a whole bunch of little gadgets hanging around the computer. So the sidekick summarizes all that into one piece of equipment. Using that for surveying was really good. We had a big project in the Silicon Valley. We survey like 68 kilometers that’s about 42 miles. We have to survey for multiple days. And with this hiking, I just had a backpack and outside of the backpack is that thing gets really hot one headed inside. And you think you’re using it. On a Segway, say that I used to kind of not to be a friend of the Segway, because like well I can walk, I like walking and I think. But when you’re doing 42 miles, Segway was the way to be my second favorite tool if you asked me.

: Maybe that should be our next bundle.

: Yeah, get a Segway as well and it pays off. And actually they have to buy a Segway. I rented one from one of these. Because nowadays, and pretty much of the world I think well, in major cities and tourist places, they have the Segway tools. So I call on this places and I rented when I was like $100 a day, like $300 a week, I rented for a week but only uses it 3 or 4 days. But I was it and just rented. We do have some special pigments to attach the survey tray and put the computer up and then you still have one cable going from the sidekick to your computer. But it simplifies that. So that’s my favorite tool nowadays.

: Related to that, what’s an unexpected tool in your tool kit that you always go to that? Maybe someone might be surprised to know. Just a little favorite piece of equipment or something that you rely on that maybe is out of the norm of what you normally think of?

: OK. I would say that there are couple. Since I’ve done several of the point to point links out there just connecting buildings wireless and avoiding running cables. One tool that is kind like not expected as you asked, is the rangefinder. It’s like a binocular but it’s just one lens. So how do you call that?. It is just one lens.

: Telescope.

: It is a small ones like the size of a small box and then you look and then they’ll give you the distance. That it’s used for hunters a military also. You look at that spot and then you press a button and we will show you the distance from where you are to that point that you selected and show you the angle of elevation. Like if it’s near five degrees up or down and then you go to the other end and then you end because when you’re doing that point to point connections you need the antennas to be align aiming at the same direction. So they see each other. Of course like if you’re doing a light, you can see the light. But when we’re talking about Wi-Fi, we cannot see these waves in the air. So we have to rely on tools like this tools to give us distances and angles of elevation inclination to aim our antennas right.

: Do you have favorite one? What’s that brand that one you know?

: I don’t really know how to pronounce that. You just go to as like a hunting store and get like a rangefinder- just a one lens device. There are different ones that will show you. There are multiple brands. You just have to find one that fits your budget and that’s what you wanted to do. Some like they want to have goes like 1000 meters. That’s about 300,000 meter and how many well? That’s a kilometer. Like more than half a mile. This is pretty decent for point to point.

: Along with that there is a tool that goes on iPhone. It’s a piece of software that you can also do cool things. It’s called Theodolite. It said T H E O D O L I T E-its just one word. Let me spell that again for you. It’s T-H-E-O-D-O-L-I-T-E.

: I’ll get that in the show notes.

: Get in the show notes and also they are the same application for Android is called DIOPTRA. (D-I-O-P-T-R-A) So those tools will make those type of outdoor installation point to points easier.

: Well, awesome! Ferney, thank you for spending time in answering these questions. If people want to follow you, how can they get in touch with you or keep up with all things?

: The easiest way probably to Twitter @Ferney_munoz add that to show note’s because my name is not easy to understand just in English. It makes sense in Spanish. I have to add that when I go to places to order food that you know was the name? What’s your name John or Fred or something that they’ve don’t asked me. How do you spell that? Ferney_munoz on Twitter. Thats the easiest way. I also use WhatsApp.

: People can reach me out that way as well and that’s my phone number 1 801 618-8712 and WhatsApp is another easy way for people to reach me anywhere.

: Well, thanks again Ferney! And you have a great rest to your week and we will talk soon.

: Thank you Matthew for having me and I appreciate your time also.

: Thanks

: Thank you for joining us for another episode of the Wireless LAN Professionals Podcast. The podcast for Wireless LAN Professionals by Wireless LAN Professionals. Be sure to follow us on Twitter @WirelessLANpros for all the latest news and updates and also connect directly with Keith on Twitter @KeithRParsons. Head over to WWW.WlanPros.Com for this episode show notes as well as the latest in all things Wi-Fi.

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  The post 156 | How To Invest In Your Wireless Career with Ferney Muñoz appeared first on Wireless LAN Professionals.

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[jamestdoleus]

156 | How To Invest In Your Wireless Career with Ferney Muñoz

In This Episode:

Keith kicks things off with introducing us to another page of the Wireless LAN Professionals Custom Field Notebook. This is the page that contains 3 resources:

dBm to milliwatt conversion chart

State Machine – great for explaining concepts visually for clients

Frame control field chart

Ferney Muñoz talks about what investing in himself as a Wireless LAN Professional means to him.

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Episode 156.mp3

: Wireless LAN Professionals is a place to educate inform encourage and entertain those involved in wireless LANS. This wireless LAN professionals podcast is an audio manifestation of these goals. Our host is a wireless LAN veteran consultant designer and teacher Keith Parsons. And now the podcast for wireless LAN professionals by wireless LAN professionals.

: In this section we’re going to talk about one of the pages from the WLAN Pros Notebook.(https://www.wlanpros.com/shop/notebook/) This is the page that has dBm to milliwatt conversion. One of my favorite things to teach and I have a little thing it’s a five minute to dB the milliwatt conversion (https://www.wlanpros.com/resources/easy-db-math-5-minutes/) it’s a very simple way to go about doing it. And I think anyone who is in this industry should be able to think in your mind very quickly the dB to milliwatt, the milliwat to dB and that should be almost instantaneous going back and forth. But first some of you might be new in the industry haven’t been going long we added this little conversion table right here for you. The tricks we use in dB the milliwatt conversion – things like you know using 3s and 10s. So a 3 on the left side in dB is equal to a 2 two on the right side in “normal math”. Those tricks work really good and very fast to figure out how to do that. Just realize that when you get up to some numbers like if you do double double double double the 2 4 8 16 you get up to 512 or 1024 on this table it shows a thousand. That’s because the difference between the trick using the dB math trick and the actual logarithm are slightly off. So if you if using your tricks and you get a number like 512 and the table shows 500 or you use 500 but 512 is what you’ve been using. They’re still the same. You’re not going to get too confused with that.

: We also added on this page a couple other pieces that I think wLAN pros should know fairly, fairly consistently. And the reason we added them here so when you’re talking with customers sometimes it’s easier to show them a graphic. So the “State Machine” is a graphic that you can go and show and when you’re describing the process of how a client does probe request – probe response, than authentication request then authentication response, then association request, then association response and it gets into the authentication process later.

: You can point back in a show where there’s layer, there’s 802.11 authentication and there’s authentication after 802.11 finishes and how the state machine works. As well as looking at the disassociation and de-authentication showing how far back in the process you go depending on what frame is sent.

: And the third thing we add on this page was the frame control fields, specifically for the “to bit” and “from bit”. These little DS bits are very useful and depending on how they’re set each of the addresses will either be BSSID, the MAC address of the AP, or the station, the source address, the transmitter address, the receiver address, or the destination address. And those are all little table there for you to understand.

: It also shows when you get to the, the only time you use all four of the addresses are if you’re “to bit” and “from bit” are both set to 1. If they’re both set to 1 then you are in bridge mode or a mesh mode.

: Let’s get to know our colleagues and friends with a shared passion for Wi-Fi. It’s time to search WhoIs…

: Ferney welcome to the show amigo. How are you sir?

: I’m doing great. Matthew thank you for having me on the show.

: Of course. It’s been a while since we’ve been face to face.

: Yeah.

: I guess the last time I wasn’t too far long ago. We were moving boxes around. I think.

: That is correct. We were rearranging the Lending Library inventory and all kinds of things. Yes.

: And now you just kind of got back from a whirlwind tour with your family a little different traveling than normal. Tell us about that.

: Well I am usually traveling just for work as you know with CWNE, CWNA classes or Ekahau classes or consulting and this time it was it was just a holiday. Just vacation with my family. I have three kids, 3, 8, and 9 and traveling with kids can be challenging. We went to Europe and everything went well except that I left the passport in a taxicab in Rome and we had no passports a few days but we got emergency passports. But other than that it was very good. Just the same challenges going through airport security and all kind of the hassle channeling. But this time without gear and just relax. So yeah it was definitely.

: A different kind of gear gear for kids.

: Yes yes. Diapers and bottles and milk and yes.

: iPads.

: Yes absolutely.

: For the few that may not know you at all, tell us a little bit about yourself, where you got started in Wi-Fi and what you’re up to, you know you alluded to some training, but what are you up to nowadays?

: Well for those who don’t know me I’m Ferney Munoz they call me Fernie or Prenay or something like that..

: Or “hey you!”

: Hey you. But Ferney works. I’m originally from Colombia and I moved to the States back in 99. March of 1999 and started working at a school district in high school as a volunteer doing all that technology stuff. I start with technology many years before that in Colombia and here I started working directly with networks and then later I owned the network for the District – a big network. Of course in about 2001 or so we were working just with mostly wired networks

: school districts..

: School district yes. Started seeing some of the wireless stuff come into play and then later on about 2009 we started a new district. That district split off of a big district. It was about a hundred schools before the Salt Lake Valley area. The Jordan School Districts split and from there Canyons School District was born and then we own that network. We started implementing wireless like big time. Removing all of the standalone a 802.11b,g devices and getting rid of difficult to manage. Basically home devices were installed in the district before. And now we were finally working on an enterprise class network. So I was thrown in the Wi-Fi arena as many of us were. Where we were on wired networks and one day someone said, “Hey, you know we have this new wireless thing that needs to be installed or configured.” And all of the sudden they made us wireless professionals without us knowing what that meant.

: We started installing Xirrus those big flying saucer looking arrays. They were not called access points – arrays. Multiple radios and all kinds of challenges with the wireless. Of course we have 50 buildings about 40000 students and some 4000 employees and we have to provide Wi-Fi for everybody. And in a school district is a very dynamic environment. Everybody is – teachers trying to add curriculum and cool devices to their curriculum. And trying to rely on Wi-Fi and many just bringing Apple TVs and many home devices that they want to implement in the enterprise environment. And it all came at once.

: You got thrown in the deep end and you suddenly we’re a wireless LAN professional.

: Yes. Of course today it’s like,”Well, do you know how to do it?” “Yeah I got Wi-Fi at home.” “So you know Wi-Fi – then you’re in charge now.”

: Now actually we had about 650 of these devices implemented in the network and were in charge of computer making work. Of course we having all kinds of problems and we had issues. The company they sent an engineer and they walked around with a computer and gear and stuff then they gave us a green map at the end. But we still had issues.

: And through that process I just got tired of kind of being held hostage by vendors.

: “Hey what do you go there? Let me do this myself.”.

: We have a big environment, we have budget and we cannot just schedule an engineer to come whenever they can when we need it now. So we like let’s do it ourselves.

: Through that process we met Mr. Keith Parsons. That’s how I met him is that he was hired to come and help us. We worked with a gentlemen Jared Griffiths before and now he kind of met Mr. Parsons and brought him on board and he help us. That’s how I started basically doing Wi-Fi. Before I was just kind of like try and figure it out with my team and finally with Mr. Parsons kind of showed us how to do it ourselves and understand it. And I got some training from Airmagnet and that some CWNA training.

: So you just kind of started jumping in there and learning all you could. Well one of the purposes of this interview and kind of this series of interviews is obviously taking experience from guys who have been in the trenches and sharing that with obviously your peers and your colleagues but also people maybe who are getting started in wireless LAN. And so I was thinking of some questions that might be able to help us with that end in mind. And one of those is “If you could go back to your younger self thinking about when you got started here like in the story, what’s a piece of advice you’d give yourself then that might have helped you avoid some of those headaches along the way?”

: Well you know without a doubt. If I could go back to that first instance said, “Hey you know you’re going to be in charge of these wireless networks.” I would have said “OK. I need training.

: Don’t assume that because it works at home I can do it here in the School District. “Why not?” I mean and everybody has that mentality like “How hard can that be? I mean just plug it in and it works.” That’s one of the problems with Wi-Fi – It works. It always works, it’s just works poorly. We were just putting out fires that we had no idea how to approach. So getting training would’ve definitely made our lives so much better.

: So, right away just say, “OK, I need training just jump in there and do it.”

: Yes, yes. Absolutely. And some companies are proactive because one of my, many of my students have been in class and they are like, “Well I was the cable guy and now the wireless guy left. And now they want me to start doing this but and they send me to get training.” So those are easy to work with because they have nothing – no knowledge. The are starting from scratch. But others like us that were thrown in the field with no knowledge it’s their responsibility.

: We start figuring out how to configure the controllers and how to make this work and how to enable and disable things and we know how to do it but we don’t know why. Or we don’t know if it’s performing like it’s supposed to until something blows up. So definitely training. CWNA is a very good vendor neutral training. Because that’s another thing I found out Matthew, is that a lot of guys that come from Cisco backgrounds they come from Aruba backgrounds and they have all kinds of certifications and training from that vendor. But once you start getting to the basics of the technology – not the brand – is like, “Well this is totally different.”

: So obviously if you have access to those trainings and certifications take them.

: Yes.

: Don’t just stay there.

: Absolutely. Don’t just think that because you’ve got a Cisco certification in wireless you’re a “wireless expert” No, it just it just doesn’t doesn’t end there.

: What’s one thing you think you did right early on as you started in working with Wi-Fi?

: Umm I think it was admitting that I didn’t know anything. I kind of knew, I mean I thought I knew how it works – some basics. Later on when I met Mr. Parsons and we took some like formal training, real training I started realizing that we were doing a lot of things wrong. But I think that the first approach is just kind of being humble and saying, “You know what? I don’t know it”. I think that’s the hardest step. Because of course you’re a professional, you’re in the field, and you’re in charge.

: And you do know a lot probably.

: Yeah and you know I mean a lot of these guys there they have knowledge about servers, they have knowledge about virtualization, they have knowledge about networks, wired networks, switching, routing and a whole bunch… I mean these guys are super smart. But Wi-Fi is just a different monster. It just works differently. And also I’ve come across guys come from the cellular networks. And they also, “of course I know this, I’ve been doing this for many years.” But when you start talking about Wi-Fi is that some things just don’t make sense. “Wait isn’t that how it works in cellular.” Exactly. Wi-Fi is just different.

: And you mentioned CWNE and the whole gamut of those – Is that the certification you recommend for everybody or is there a path you recommend?

: Yeah well for those who are not familiar with CWNP program – starting with CWNA is definitely “the” beginning. If you want to continue walking this path. That’s a certification. You can study on your own. You can take a formal class – CWNA class. and then for the certification you have to go to one of the Pearson VUE testing centers (https://home.pearsonvue.com/) and get certified and you pass then you’re good, that’s your certification.

: Then you there are three other certifications you have to do. The CWSP is the “Security” one. CWAP which is the “Analysis Professional”. And also the CWDP which is the “Design Professional.” They don’t have to be taken in that order. I recommend taking the CWNA then AP, then SP, then DP. Some guys take it out of the way after the Ekahau class because a lot of stuff in there (inaudible). But once you take those four certifications you submit an application to CWNE board. They’re a board to evaluate. You have to do some essays, write some stuff. They will evaluate it and you have to log… I mean the listeners who are not familiar with the program they can just research and find out exactly what they have to do. But that’s definitely the way get it. And once you get approved then you become a CWNE which is like at the expert level. Which by the way it doesn’t make you an expert you just get your certification. And once you’ve gotten there…

: It’s just the beginning as you’ve said I think in the past before. So kind of along this train of thought, what does “investing in yourself as a WLAN professional mean to you? Is it just certifications? When someone says, “You need to invest in yourself as a WLAN pro.�� What does that look like?

: For me, in my case, with the school district there are certain limitations and politics involved – policies, “If you are going to go to this conference you have to apply within 30 days. And it can’t be out of state. And the school district is not going to pay for certain things. And it will not pay for others.” So it’s kind of complicated. And one of the challenges I faced when I wanted to attend the first wireless LAN Professionals conference was that I didn’t get the school district to pay for it. Either travel, or attendance, or days off or anything. So investing in myself at that point – I had to make a decision. OK, the conference is $2,000.00. I’m going to have to take a week off that I’m not going to get paid for. This is family vacation days that I could use with them somewhere. Or just go a get – just go to the conference. Paying for all this stuff at that point was a decision we made. And yes, later then it was the certification that the district did pay for the class and then I had to take the exams. I think investing in yourself, for me it was not only making the investments that I have to pay this money from my own pocket. No company is paying for it. Nobody is sponsoring me.

: Although later I got sponsorship from Wireless LAN Professionals. I got a scholarship, to go to the second conference. That’s how I ended up to working out for Wireless LAN Professionals and some of the stuff formed in Ekahau and then just independent contracting. But it was also the effort, it’s just the time you’re putting to it. That’s just an example. The other one was when taking the certification of the exams. I mean, studying for the exams. Investing myself meant that I had to wake up at 4:00 in the morning, study for a couple hours then go to work. Then after work, I had to come home to help with the kids and stuff and study some more. Then my lunch break just grab something that is really quick and study more and study more. So at that point, I was not investing money. I mean, I have already purchased a book and study on my own but it’s just that extra effort when instead of watching a show, you’re sitting down, reading a book and making research to understand the concept. And also, another thing, there is the pain by yourself to go to conference and exams and classes and stuff. That’s when the effort that you have to make to chill this certifications and learn it.

: Its almost like “no one cares about your future more than you, at all”. That’s for you. It sounds what I’m hearing is, there’s this point in time where you make a very clear decision like this is worth whatever it takes.

: Yes. Absolutely. And then on top of that “if”, because I’ve come across many guys that they’re not working for anybody. So you don’t have that playground to learn the actual status. Taking the exam and passing the certifications can be simple for some guys.

: And the exam is based on what I’ve read. And then they have the certification but experience is the biggest because the exam is the exam but the real thing that getting the experience out in the field is the difficult thing if you don’t have an environment. I was lucky enough that we have the whole district. That was my playground but that was my age up that I had to make work efficiently. So I had a real environment.

: What about labs? Investing in lab? I hear Keith talk a lot about that when I got the Lending Library (https://www.wlanpros.com/how-the-lending-library-works/) and those kind of things. Why is that important? And how do you do that?

: Yes, thank you and that’s the next. Thank you for the segue. That’s my next point. If you don’t have an environment to apply the knowledge and real environment, then you have to build the lab and that implies buying some equipment. And yeah, we have the Wireless LAN Pros – Lending Library (https://www.wlanpros.com/product-category/lending-library/) where people can just get like enterprise class equipment that they can play with in configuration and wipe it clean without affecting users. So it is really really necessary to have a lab environment. Now here’s the other thing that’s cool. If you don’t have a real environment, you don’t have the means to get your hands on that enterprise equipment, it’s down here. That’s how a huge investment because I approaches somebody you know on the field. If you’re going to do a survey, can I just shadow you go there with you. And you don’t have to pay me because that’s when there’s…

: There are a lot of people like “yeah, you can come with me.” But they can be company policy so you cannot just bring in somebody have this stood with you. They get heard who’s liable for the company where you’re doing the survey or us doing this. I mean it’s just not as simple as that, but if you come across somebody, “hey, I’m going to do an installation”. Sure! I help fill your cables, I’ll help you mount a piece, or show me and I’ll have to configure in. Just volunteer. Volunteering I think is one of the greatest things that I’ve done throughout my career, not just on Wi-Fi but on networks and computers.

: But again that’s another thing that has to be align right. Because you have to get the right people, the right environment and if you have a day-time job, then you have to make sure you can make it work around your schedule. So that’s not another big investment, but another nice way to obtain them.

: And something that’s worth doing. Worth the sacrifices.

: Absolutely.

: And I know it’s so much easier to just go home and sit down and watch a show or do nothing. Doing nothing is fun. But it’s just sometimes we have to sacrifice.

: On a different kind of angle, I just have some other questions here. What’s a mistake in the industry you see people making on a consistent basis that you wish you could stop from happening?

: Well let’s see.

: You’re teaching a lot. Is there things you’re running into that people just aren’t thinking about?

: Well, I think the first thing that comes to mind is the installing APs, since it’s always one thing that is commonly being done that just doesn’t work that well in Wi-Fi. There are many reasons why there are blogs, lots of blogs out there explains why. That’s a very common problem. Sometimes it’s not because people don’t know that that’s bad. It’s because they are told to put in there. And that’s one of the big mistakes that I see overall in the industries – is that we, as Wi-Fi professionals are been told by engineers and architects and interior designers where and how to monitor access points.

: I wouldn’t say that’s the biggest thing. Because of course, they end up in the hallway there’s a subset of somebody told me to put that. Why? I don’t know. They said put them there because that’s the only way to access. Because they look pretty in there, because they want a blinking lights inside this room or that room or because my code, they cannot have an some areas, industrial areas. I mean, there’s so many things but to summarize that, the biggest mistake is that we are letting others to tell us how to design. And another kind of related to this, is that a lot of deployments are being done without designing, without doing all of the research. Do you know why were so many news during the ancient times they had, they were deployed? They were just installed by somebody because that’s what they said and then there is no design because nobody sat down to figure out why and where. I mean, what type of device? How long you have these? Asked all questions we have to ask when we’re creating a Wireless design.

: Well, it sounds like with this podcast and a lot of the other great podcasts on Wireless LAN and the conferences, were hopefully moving the needle on some of that stuff and educating and encouraging each other and better testing gear, sidekick those kind of things that help prove the need to do things properly.

: Absolutely Yes.

: Alright. Well, what is one project you have been involved with that you’re the most proud of and why?

: Well, there were several which is the network I owned. I worked on other network but this is the biggest one. And I think not the biggest project but one of the project that makes me proud that I had all which I had was some Wireless LAN we had to do for a school. That was a school that was being demolished. That school was crossed the district office and transportation warehouse of the entire school district transportation department and warehousing. They were connected to the school that was being demolished. We got quotes from companies to get another 9 run to that transportation from the district office. And they came to $70000-80000 to run the new fiber cable over there. Because they had to go across the street, and they needed city permits and they need it.

: It was just complicated long and difficult. It was $80,000 and I got that one like $105,000 for that Wireless LAN entire department- Those two buildings and facilities very critical portions of district transportation and it would be warehouses as well. So that was one of the little projects can like wireless works and they saved the district money and we had another.

: Lot of money.

: Yes, a lot of money. We had another similar project where we had to to build a school in between two buildings and with wireless. Thanks for acknowledging Wireless. Have that done fractional cost and the time because basically had to change in the winter and we had to wait for temperature, equipment and the permits and everything. Basically, Wireless is one site that now goes out the other one like within half a day, we had a whole building connected.

: Everyone was shouting: “Ferney! Ferney!”.

: Yeah!

: The flip side that’s the..

: It’s the contractor that wanted to do it.

: Yeah, exactly! They were hunt you and hide out for a while.

: Yeah.

: On the flip side of that, what’s a mistake you’ve made that has really taught you something valuable?

: Oh men! I made so many mistakes not knowing which one could be more significant.

: But oh! And you know what? I think here’s one. Now that you really got. I took at first year CWNA class and the AirMini class on Mr. Parsons. It took me like 4 years to actually get certified. Big mistake! Because you take the classes its four days, five days and you did it from 8 in the morning till 5 in the afternoon. At the end of Friday, your brain is just overwhelmed with Wi-Fi knowledge and you have all that stuffs fresh in the head. Big mistake I made. I’ll take the exam when I’m break. You’ll never gonna be ready. There’s so much tool. It was a big mistake. And then made it to the class again. I’m going to study and then when I’m ready, like never way. So if I could do that one after the first class on the day of the end of class, I shouldn’t have done and take the exam or the morning following that. That was one mistake and that would have saved me a lot of hassle and I would have made my CWNE process each year.

:  A couple couple more questions here. Favorite piece of equipment you’re using these days and why?

: You know without a doubt the sidekick (https://www.wlanpros.com/resources/ekahausidekickreview/) Yeah, it used to be my Air Check. That was pretty useful and I think I still have it. And of course I think every Wireless LAN Professionals should have checking their tool bags. But the sidekick definitely has changed the way in which I do surveying and the analysis on it. So I’ll tell you why? We have doing surveys we have to carry USB hubs, we have cables next to it and we have wireless mix and we have spectrum analyzes and we have two carry 2.4 and 5gig one. So we have all this bunch of little bits and pieces connected to our computers. Which you’ve seen in videos. You know the survey tray. How troublesome that can be just carry around your computer with a whole bunch of little gadgets hanging around the computer. So the sidekick summarizes all that into one piece of equipment. Using that for surveying was really good. We had a big project in the Silicon Valley. We survey like 68 kilometers that’s about 42 miles. We have to survey for multiple days. And with this hiking, I just had a backpack and outside of the backpack is that thing gets really hot one headed inside. And you think you’re using it. On a Segway, say that I used to kind of not to be a friend of the Segway, because like well I can walk, I like walking and I think. But when you’re doing 42 miles, Segway was the way to be my second favorite tool if you asked me.

: Maybe that should be our next bundle.

: Yeah, get a Segway as well and it pays off. And actually they have to buy a Segway. I rented one from one of these. Because nowadays, and pretty much of the world I think well, in major cities and tourist places, they have the Segway tools. So I call on this places and I rented when I was like $100 a day, like $300 a week, I rented for a week but only uses it 3 or 4 days. But I was it and just rented. We do have some special pigments to attach the survey tray and put the computer up and then you still have one cable going from the sidekick to your computer. But it simplifies that. So that’s my favorite tool nowadays.

: Related to that, what’s an unexpected tool in your tool kit that you always go to that? Maybe someone might be surprised to know. Just a little favorite piece of equipment or something that you rely on that maybe is out of the norm of what you normally think of?

: OK. I would say that there are couple. Since I’ve done several of the point to point links out there just connecting buildings wireless and avoiding running cables. One tool that is kind like not expected as you asked, is the rangefinder. It’s like a binocular but it’s just one lens. So how do you call that?. It is just one lens.

: Telescope.

: It is a small ones like the size of a small box and then you look and then they’ll give you the distance. That it’s used for hunters a military also. You look at that spot and then you press a button and we will show you the distance from where you are to that point that you selected and show you the angle of elevation. Like if it’s near five degrees up or down and then you go to the other end and then you end because when you’re doing that point to point connections you need the antennas to be align aiming at the same direction. So they see each other. Of course like if you’re doing a light, you can see the light. But when we’re talking about Wi-Fi, we cannot see these waves in the air. So we have to rely on tools like this tools to give us distances and angles of elevation inclination to aim our antennas right.

: Do you have favorite one? What’s that brand that one you know?

: I don’t really know how to pronounce that. You just go to as like a hunting store and get like a rangefinder- just a one lens device. There are different ones that will show you. There are multiple brands. You just have to find one that fits your budget and that’s what you wanted to do. Some like they want to have goes like 1000 meters. That’s about 300,000 meter and how many well? That’s a kilometer. Like more than half a mile. This is pretty decent for point to point.

: Along with that there is a tool that goes on iPhone. It’s a piece of software that you can also do cool things. It’s called Theodolite. It said T H E O D O L I T E-its just one word. Let me spell that again for you. It’s T-H-E-O-D-O-L-I-T-E.

: I’ll get that in the show notes.

: Get in the show notes and also they are the same application for Android is called DIOPTRA. (D-I-O-P-T-R-A) So those tools will make those type of outdoor installation point to points easier.

: Well, awesome! Ferney, thank you for spending time in answering these questions. If people want to follow you, how can they get in touch with you or keep up with all things?

: The easiest way probably to Twitter @Ferney_munoz add that to show note’s because my name is not easy to understand just in English. It makes sense in Spanish. I have to add that when I go to places to order food that you know was the name? What’s your name John or Fred or something that they’ve don’t asked me. How do you spell that? Ferney_munoz on Twitter. Thats the easiest way. I also use WhatsApp.

: People can reach me out that way as well and that’s my phone number 1 801 618-8712 and WhatsApp is another easy way for people to reach me anywhere.

: Well, thanks again Ferney! And you have a great rest to your week and we will talk soon.

: Thank you Matthew for having me and I appreciate your time also.

: Thanks

: Thank you for joining us for another episode of the Wireless LAN Professionals Podcast. The podcast for Wireless LAN Professionals by Wireless LAN Professionals. Be sure to follow us on Twitter @WirelessLANpros for all the latest news and updates and also connect directly with Keith on Twitter @KeithRParsons. Head over to WWW.WlanPros.Com for this episode show notes as well as the latest in all things Wi-Fi.

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156 | How To Invest In Your Wireless Career with Ferney Muñoz

In This Episode:

Keith kicks things off with introducing us to another page of the Wireless LAN Professionals Custom Field Notebook. This is the page that contains 3 resources:

dBm to milliwatt conversion chart

State Machine – great for explaining concepts visually for clients

Frame control field chart

Ferney Muñoz talks about what investing in himself as a Wireless LAN Professional means to him.

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Episode 156.mp3

: Wireless LAN Professionals is a place to educate inform encourage and entertain those involved in wireless LANS. This wireless LAN professionals podcast is an audio manifestation of these goals. Our host is a wireless LAN veteran consultant designer and teacher Keith Parsons. And now the podcast for wireless LAN professionals by wireless LAN professionals.

: In this section we’re going to talk about one of the pages from the WLAN Pros Notebook.(https://www.wlanpros.com/shop/notebook/) This is the page that has dBm to milliwatt conversion. One of my favorite things to teach and I have a little thing it’s a five minute to dB the milliwatt conversion (https://www.wlanpros.com/resources/easy-db-math-5-minutes/) it’s a very simple way to go about doing it. And I think anyone who is in this industry should be able to think in your mind very quickly the dB to milliwatt, the milliwat to dB and that should be almost instantaneous going back and forth. But first some of you might be new in the industry haven’t been going long we added this little conversion table right here for you. The tricks we use in dB the milliwatt conversion – things like you know using 3s and 10s. So a 3 on the left side in dB is equal to a 2 two on the right side in “normal math”. Those tricks work really good and very fast to figure out how to do that. Just realize that when you get up to some numbers like if you do double double double double the 2 4 8 16 you get up to 512 or 1024 on this table it shows a thousand. That’s because the difference between the trick using the dB math trick and the actual logarithm are slightly off. So if you if using your tricks and you get a number like 512 and the table shows 500 or you use 500 but 512 is what you’ve been using. They’re still the same. You’re not going to get too confused with that.

: We also added on this page a couple other pieces that I think wLAN pros should know fairly, fairly consistently. And the reason we added them here so when you’re talking with customers sometimes it’s easier to show them a graphic. So the “State Machine” is a graphic that you can go and show and when you’re describing the process of how a client does probe request – probe response, than authentication request then authentication response, then association request, then association response and it gets into the authentication process later.

: You can point back in a show where there’s layer, there’s 802.11 authentication and there’s authentication after 802.11 finishes and how the state machine works. As well as looking at the disassociation and de-authentication showing how far back in the process you go depending on what frame is sent.

: And the third thing we add on this page was the frame control fields, specifically for the “to bit” and “from bit”. These little DS bits are very useful and depending on how they’re set each of the addresses will either be BSSID, the MAC address of the AP, or the station, the source address, the transmitter address, the receiver address, or the destination address. And those are all little table there for you to understand.

: It also shows when you get to the, the only time you use all four of the addresses are if you’re “to bit” and “from bit” are both set to 1. If they’re both set to 1 then you are in bridge mode or a mesh mode.

: Let’s get to know our colleagues and friends with a shared passion for Wi-Fi. It’s time to search WhoIs…

: Ferney welcome to the show amigo. How are you sir?

: I’m doing great. Matthew thank you for having me on the show.

: Of course. It’s been a while since we’ve been face to face.

: Yeah.

: I guess the last time I wasn’t too far long ago. We were moving boxes around. I think.

: That is correct. We were rearranging the Lending Library inventory and all kinds of things. Yes.

: And now you just kind of got back from a whirlwind tour with your family a little different traveling than normal. Tell us about that.

: Well I am usually traveling just for work as you know with CWNE, CWNA classes or Ekahau classes or consulting and this time it was it was just a holiday. Just vacation with my family. I have three kids, 3, 8, and 9 and traveling with kids can be challenging. We went to Europe and everything went well except that I left the passport in a taxicab in Rome and we had no passports a few days but we got emergency passports. But other than that it was very good. Just the same challenges going through airport security and all kind of the hassle channeling. But this time without gear and just relax. So yeah it was definitely.

: A different kind of gear gear for kids.

: Yes yes. Diapers and bottles and milk and yes.

: iPads.

: Yes absolutely.

: For the few that may not know you at all, tell us a little bit about yourself, where you got started in Wi-Fi and what you’re up to, you know you alluded to some training, but what are you up to nowadays?

: Well for those who don’t know me I’m Ferney Munoz they call me Fernie or Prenay or something like that..

: Or “hey you!”

: Hey you. But Ferney works. I’m originally from Colombia and I moved to the States back in 99. March of 1999 and started working at a school district in high school as a volunteer doing all that technology stuff. I start with technology many years before that in Colombia and here I started working directly with networks and then later I owned the network for the District – a big network. Of course in about 2001 or so we were working just with mostly wired networks

: school districts..

: School district yes. Started seeing some of the wireless stuff come into play and then later on about 2009 we started a new district. That district split off of a big district. It was about a hundred schools before the Salt Lake Valley area. The Jordan School Districts split and from there Canyons School District was born and then we own that network. We started implementing wireless like big time. Removing all of the standalone a 802.11b,g devices and getting rid of difficult to manage. Basically home devices were installed in the district before. And now we were finally working on an enterprise class network. So I was thrown in the Wi-Fi arena as many of us were. Where we were on wired networks and one day someone said, “Hey, you know we have this new wireless thing that needs to be installed or configured.” And all of the sudden they made us wireless professionals without us knowing what that meant.

: We started installing Xirrus those big flying saucer looking arrays. They were not called access points – arrays. Multiple radios and all kinds of challenges with the wireless. Of course we have 50 buildings about 40000 students and some 4000 employees and we have to provide Wi-Fi for everybody. And in a school district is a very dynamic environment. Everybody is – teachers trying to add curriculum and cool devices to their curriculum. And trying to rely on Wi-Fi and many just bringing Apple TVs and many home devices that they want to implement in the enterprise environment. And it all came at once.

: You got thrown in the deep end and you suddenly we’re a wireless LAN professional.

: Yes. Of course today it’s like,”Well, do you know how to do it?” “Yeah I got Wi-Fi at home.” “So you know Wi-Fi – then you’re in charge now.”

: Now actually we had about 650 of these devices implemented in the network and were in charge of computer making work. Of course we having all kinds of problems and we had issues. The company they sent an engineer and they walked around with a computer and gear and stuff then they gave us a green map at the end. But we still had issues.

: And through that process I just got tired of kind of being held hostage by vendors.

: “Hey what do you go there? Let me do this myself.”.

: We have a big environment, we have budget and we cannot just schedule an engineer to come whenever they can when we need it now. So we like let’s do it ourselves.

: Through that process we met Mr. Keith Parsons. That’s how I met him is that he was hired to come and help us. We worked with a gentlemen Jared Griffiths before and now he kind of met Mr. Parsons and brought him on board and he help us. That’s how I started basically doing Wi-Fi. Before I was just kind of like try and figure it out with my team and finally with Mr. Parsons kind of showed us how to do it ourselves and understand it. And I got some training from Airmagnet and that some CWNA training.

: So you just kind of started jumping in there and learning all you could. Well one of the purposes of this interview and kind of this series of interviews is obviously taking experience from guys who have been in the trenches and sharing that with obviously your peers and your colleagues but also people maybe who are getting started in wireless LAN. And so I was thinking of some questions that might be able to help us with that end in mind. And one of those is “If you could go back to your younger self thinking about when you got started here like in the story, what’s a piece of advice you’d give yourself then that might have helped you avoid some of those headaches along the way?”

: Well you know without a doubt. If I could go back to that first instance said, “Hey you know you’re going to be in charge of these wireless networks.” I would have said “OK. I need training.

: Don’t assume that because it works at home I can do it here in the School District. “Why not?” I mean and everybody has that mentality like “How hard can that be? I mean just plug it in and it works.” That’s one of the problems with Wi-Fi – It works. It always works, it’s just works poorly. We were just putting out fires that we had no idea how to approach. So getting training would’ve definitely made our lives so much better.

: So, right away just say, “OK, I need training just jump in there and do it.”

: Yes, yes. Absolutely. And some companies are proactive because one of my, many of my students have been in class and they are like, “Well I was the cable guy and now the wireless guy left. And now they want me to start doing this but and they send me to get training.” So those are easy to work with because they have nothing – no knowledge. The are starting from scratch. But others like us that were thrown in the field with no knowledge it’s their responsibility.

: We start figuring out how to configure the controllers and how to make this work and how to enable and disable things and we know how to do it but we don’t know why. Or we don’t know if it’s performing like it’s supposed to until something blows up. So definitely training. CWNA is a very good vendor neutral training. Because that’s another thing I found out Matthew, is that a lot of guys that come from Cisco backgrounds they come from Aruba backgrounds and they have all kinds of certifications and training from that vendor. But once you start getting to the basics of the technology – not the brand – is like, “Well this is totally different.”

: So obviously if you have access to those trainings and certifications take them.

: Yes.

: Don’t just stay there.

: Absolutely. Don’t just think that because you’ve got a Cisco certification in wireless you’re a “wireless expert” No, it just it just doesn’t doesn’t end there.

: What’s one thing you think you did right early on as you started in working with Wi-Fi?

: Umm I think it was admitting that I didn’t know anything. I kind of knew, I mean I thought I knew how it works – some basics. Later on when I met Mr. Parsons and we took some like formal training, real training I started realizing that we were doing a lot of things wrong. But I think that the first approach is just kind of being humble and saying, “You know what? I don’t know it”. I think that’s the hardest step. Because of course you’re a professional, you’re in the field, and you’re in charge.

: And you do know a lot probably.

: Yeah and you know I mean a lot of these guys there they have knowledge about servers, they have knowledge about virtualization, they have knowledge about networks, wired networks, switching, routing and a whole bunch… I mean these guys are super smart. But Wi-Fi is just a different monster. It just works differently. And also I’ve come across guys come from the cellular networks. And they also, “of course I know this, I’ve been doing this for many years.” But when you start talking about Wi-Fi is that some things just don’t make sense. “Wait isn’t that how it works in cellular.” Exactly. Wi-Fi is just different.

: And you mentioned CWNE and the whole gamut of those – Is that the certification you recommend for everybody or is there a path you recommend?

: Yeah well for those who are not familiar with CWNP program – starting with CWNA is definitely “the” beginning. If you want to continue walking this path. That’s a certification. You can study on your own. You can take a formal class – CWNA class. and then for the certification you have to go to one of the Pearson VUE testing centers (https://home.pearsonvue.com/) and get certified and you pass then you’re good, that’s your certification.

: Then you there are three other certifications you have to do. The CWSP is the “Security” one. CWAP which is the “Analysis Professional”. And also the CWDP which is the “Design Professional.” They don’t have to be taken in that order. I recommend taking the CWNA then AP, then SP, then DP. Some guys take it out of the way after the Ekahau class because a lot of stuff in there (inaudible). But once you take those four certifications you submit an application to CWNE board. They’re a board to evaluate. You have to do some essays, write some stuff. They will evaluate it and you have to log… I mean the listeners who are not familiar with the program they can just research and find out exactly what they have to do. But that’s definitely the way get it. And once you get approved then you become a CWNE which is like at the expert level. Which by the way it doesn’t make you an expert you just get your certification. And once you’ve gotten there…

: It’s just the beginning as you’ve said I think in the past before. So kind of along this train of thought, what does “investing in yourself as a WLAN professional mean to you? Is it just certifications? When someone says, “You need to invest in yourself as a WLAN pro.” What does that look like?

: For me, in my case, with the school district there are certain limitations and politics involved – policies, “If you are going to go to this conference you have to apply within 30 days. And it can’t be out of state. And the school district is not going to pay for certain things. And it will not pay for others.” So it’s kind of complicated. And one of the challenges I faced when I wanted to attend the first wireless LAN Professionals conference was that I didn’t get the school district to pay for it. Either travel, or attendance, or days off or anything. So investing in myself at that point – I had to make a decision. OK, the conference is $2,000.00. I’m going to have to take a week off that I’m not going to get paid for. This is family vacation days that I could use with them somewhere. Or just go a get – just go to the conference. Paying for all this stuff at that point was a decision we made. And yes, later then it was the certification that the district did pay for the class and then I had to take the exams. I think investing in yourself, for me it was not only making the investments that I have to pay this money from my own pocket. No company is paying for it. Nobody is sponsoring me.

: Although later I got sponsorship from Wireless LAN Professionals. I got a scholarship, to go to the second conference. That’s how I ended up to working out for Wireless LAN Professionals and some of the stuff formed in Ekahau and then just independent contracting. But it was also the effort, it’s just the time you’re putting to it. That’s just an example. The other one was when taking the certification of the exams. I mean, studying for the exams. Investing myself meant that I had to wake up at 4:00 in the morning, study for a couple hours then go to work. Then after work, I had to come home to help with the kids and stuff and study some more. Then my lunch break just grab something that is really quick and study more and study more. So at that point, I was not investing money. I mean, I have already purchased a book and study on my own but it’s just that extra effort when instead of watching a show, you’re sitting down, reading a book and making research to understand the concept. And also, another thing, there is the pain by yourself to go to conference and exams and classes and stuff. That’s when the effort that you have to make to chill this certifications and learn it.

: Its almost like “no one cares about your future more than you, at all”. That’s for you. It sounds what I’m hearing is, there’s this point in time where you make a very clear decision like this is worth whatever it takes.

: Yes. Absolutely. And then on top of that “if”, because I’ve come across many guys that they’re not working for anybody. So you don’t have that playground to learn the actual status. Taking the exam and passing the certifications can be simple for some guys.

: And the exam is based on what I’ve read. And then they have the certification but experience is the biggest because the exam is the exam but the real thing that getting the experience out in the field is the difficult thing if you don’t have an environment. I was lucky enough that we have the whole district. That was my playground but that was my age up that I had to make work efficiently. So I had a real environment.

: What about labs? Investing in lab? I hear Keith talk a lot about that when I got the Lending Library (https://www.wlanpros.com/how-the-lending-library-works/) and those kind of things. Why is that important? And how do you do that?

: Yes, thank you and that’s the next. Thank you for the segue. That’s my next point. If you don’t have an environment to apply the knowledge and real environment, then you have to build the lab and that implies buying some equipment. And yeah, we have the Wireless LAN Pros – Lending Library (https://www.wlanpros.com/product-category/lending-library/) where people can just get like enterprise class equipment that they can play with in configuration and wipe it clean without affecting users. So it is really really necessary to have a lab environment. Now here’s the other thing that’s cool. If you don’t have a real environment, you don’t have the means to get your hands on that enterprise equipment, it’s down here. That’s how a huge investment because I approaches somebody you know on the field. If you’re going to do a survey, can I just shadow you go there with you. And you don’t have to pay me because that’s when there’s…

: There are a lot of people like “yeah, you can come with me.” But they can be company policy so you cannot just bring in somebody have this stood with you. They get heard who’s liable for the company where you’re doing the survey or us doing this. I mean it’s just not as simple as that, but if you come across somebody, “hey, I’m going to do an installation”. Sure! I help fill your cables, I’ll help you mount a piece, or show me and I’ll have to configure in. Just volunteer. Volunteering I think is one of the greatest things that I’ve done throughout my career, not just on Wi-Fi but on networks and computers.

: But again that’s another thing that has to be align right. Because you have to get the right people, the right environment and if you have a day-time job, then you have to make sure you can make it work around your schedule. So that’s not another big investment, but another nice way to obtain them.

: And something that’s worth doing. Worth the sacrifices.

: Absolutely.

: And I know it’s so much easier to just go home and sit down and watch a show or do nothing. Doing nothing is fun. But it’s just sometimes we have to sacrifice.

: On a different kind of angle, I just have some other questions here. What’s a mistake in the industry you see people making on a consistent basis that you wish you could stop from happening?

: Well let’s see.

: You’re teaching a lot. Is there things you’re running into that people just aren’t thinking about?

: Well, I think the first thing that comes to mind is the installing APs, since it’s always one thing that is commonly being done that just doesn’t work that well in Wi-Fi. There are many reasons why there are blogs, lots of blogs out there explains why. That’s a very common problem. Sometimes it’s not because people don’t know that that’s bad. It’s because they are told to put in there. And that’s one of the big mistakes that I see overall in the industries – is that we, as Wi-Fi professionals are been told by engineers and architects and interior designers where and how to monitor access points.

: I wouldn’t say that’s the biggest thing. Because of course, they end up in the hallway there’s a subset of somebody told me to put that. Why? I don’t know. They said put them there because that’s the only way to access. Because they look pretty in there, because they want a blinking lights inside this room or that room or because my code, they cannot have an some areas, industrial areas. I mean, there’s so many things but to summarize that, the biggest mistake is that we are letting others to tell us how to design. And another kind of related to this, is that a lot of deployments are being done without designing, without doing all of the research. Do you know why were so many news during the ancient times they had, they were deployed? They were just installed by somebody because that’s what they said and then there is no design because nobody sat down to figure out why and where. I mean, what type of device? How long you have these? Asked all questions we have to ask when we’re creating a Wireless design.

: Well, it sounds like with this podcast and a lot of the other great podcasts on Wireless LAN and the conferences, were hopefully moving the needle on some of that stuff and educating and encouraging each other and better testing gear, sidekick those kind of things that help prove the need to do things properly.

: Absolutely Yes.

: Alright. Well, what is one project you have been involved with that you’re the most proud of and why?

: Well, there were several which is the network I owned. I worked on other network but this is the biggest one. And I think not the biggest project but one of the project that makes me proud that I had all which I had was some Wireless LAN we had to do for a school. That was a school that was being demolished. That school was crossed the district office and transportation warehouse of the entire school district transportation department and warehousing. They were connected to the school that was being demolished. We got quotes from companies to get another 9 run to that transportation from the district office. And they came to $70000-80000 to run the new fiber cable over there. Because they had to go across the street, and they needed city permits and they need it.

: It was just complicated long and difficult. It was $80,000 and I got that one like $105,000 for that Wireless LAN entire department- Those two buildings and facilities very critical portions of district transportation and it would be warehouses as well. So that was one of the little projects can like wireless works and they saved the district money and we had another.

: Lot of money.

: Yes, a lot of money. We had another similar project where we had to to build a school in between two buildings and with wireless. Thanks for acknowledging Wireless. Have that done fractional cost and the time because basically had to change in the winter and we had to wait for temperature, equipment and the permits and everything. Basically, Wireless is one site that now goes out the other one like within half a day, we had a whole building connected.

: Everyone was shouting: “Ferney! Ferney!”.

: Yeah!

: The flip side that’s the..

: It’s the contractor that wanted to do it.

: Yeah, exactly! They were hunt you and hide out for a while.

: Yeah.

: On the flip side of that, what’s a mistake you’ve made that has really taught you something valuable?

: Oh men! I made so many mistakes not knowing which one could be more significant.

: But oh! And you know what? I think here’s one. Now that you really got. I took at first year CWNA class and the AirMini class on Mr. Parsons. It took me like 4 years to actually get certified. Big mistake! Because you take the classes its four days, five days and you did it from 8 in the morning till 5 in the afternoon. At the end of Friday, your brain is just overwhelmed with Wi-Fi knowledge and you have all that stuffs fresh in the head. Big mistake I made. I’ll take the exam when I’m break. You’ll never gonna be ready. There’s so much tool. It was a big mistake. And then made it to the class again. I’m going to study and then when I’m ready, like never way. So if I could do that one after the first class on the day of the end of class, I shouldn’t have done and take the exam or the morning following that. That was one mistake and that would have saved me a lot of hassle and I would have made my CWNE process each year.

:  A couple couple more questions here. Favorite piece of equipment you’re using these days and why?

: You know without a doubt the sidekick (https://www.wlanpros.com/resources/ekahausidekickreview/) Yeah, it used to be my Air Check. That was pretty useful and I think I still have it. And of course I think every Wireless LAN Professionals should have checking their tool bags. But the sidekick definitely has changed the way in which I do surveying and the analysis on it. So I’ll tell you why? We have doing surveys we have to carry USB hubs, we have cables next to it and we have wireless mix and we have spectrum analyzes and we have two carry 2.4 and 5gig one. So we have all this bunch of little bits and pieces connected to our computers. Which you’ve seen in videos. You know the survey tray. How troublesome that can be just carry around your computer with a whole bunch of little gadgets hanging around the computer. So the sidekick summarizes all that into one piece of equipment. Using that for surveying was really good. We had a big project in the Silicon Valley. We survey like 68 kilometers that’s about 42 miles. We have to survey for multiple days. And with this hiking, I just had a backpack and outside of the backpack is that thing gets really hot one headed inside. And you think you’re using it. On a Segway, say that I used to kind of not to be a friend of the Segway, because like well I can walk, I like walking and I think. But when you’re doing 42 miles, Segway was the way to be my second favorite tool if you asked me.

: Maybe that should be our next bundle.

: Yeah, get a Segway as well and it pays off. And actually they have to buy a Segway. I rented one from one of these. Because nowadays, and pretty much of the world I think well, in major cities and tourist places, they have the Segway tools. So I call on this places and I rented when I was like $100 a day, like $300 a week, I rented for a week but only uses it 3 or 4 days. But I was it and just rented. We do have some special pigments to attach the survey tray and put the computer up and then you still have one cable going from the sidekick to your computer. But it simplifies that. So that’s my favorite tool nowadays.

: Related to that, what’s an unexpected tool in your tool kit that you always go to that? Maybe someone might be surprised to know. Just a little favorite piece of equipment or something that you rely on that maybe is out of the norm of what you normally think of?

: OK. I would say that there are couple. Since I’ve done several of the point to point links out there just connecting buildings wireless and avoiding running cables. One tool that is kind like not expected as you asked, is the rangefinder. It’s like a binocular but it’s just one lens. So how do you call that?. It is just one lens.

: Telescope.

: It is a small ones like the size of a small box and then you look and then they’ll give you the distance. That it’s used for hunters a military also. You look at that spot and then you press a button and we will show you the distance from where you are to that point that you selected and show you the angle of elevation. Like if it’s near five degrees up or down and then you go to the other end and then you end because when you’re doing that point to point connections you need the antennas to be align aiming at the same direction. So they see each other. Of course like if you’re doing a light, you can see the light. But when we’re talking about Wi-Fi, we cannot see these waves in the air. So we have to rely on tools like this tools to give us distances and angles of elevation inclination to aim our antennas right.

: Do you have favorite one? What’s that brand that one you know?

: I don’t really know how to pronounce that. You just go to as like a hunting store and get like a rangefinder- just a one lens device. There are different ones that will show you. There are multiple brands. You just have to find one that fits your budget and that’s what you wanted to do. Some like they want to have goes like 1000 meters. That’s about 300,000 meter and how many well? That’s a kilometer. Like more than half a mile. This is pretty decent for point to point.

: Along with that there is a tool that goes on iPhone. It’s a piece of software that you can also do cool things. It’s called Theodolite. It said T H E O D O L I T E-its just one word. Let me spell that again for you. It’s T-H-E-O-D-O-L-I-T-E.

: I’ll get that in the show notes.

: Get in the show notes and also they are the same application for Android is called DIOPTRA. (D-I-O-P-T-R-A) So those tools will make those type of outdoor installation point to points easier.

: Well, awesome! Ferney, thank you for spending time in answering these questions. If people want to follow you, how can they get in touch with you or keep up with all things?

: The easiest way probably to Twitter @Ferney_munoz add that to show note’s because my name is not easy to understand just in English. It makes sense in Spanish. I have to add that when I go to places to order food that you know was the name? What’s your name John or Fred or something that they’ve don’t asked me. How do you spell that? Ferney_munoz on Twitter. Thats the easiest way. I also use WhatsApp.

: People can reach me out that way as well and that’s my phone number 1 801 618-8712 and WhatsApp is another easy way for people to reach me anywhere.

: Well, thanks again Ferney! And you have a great rest to your week and we will talk soon.

: Thank you Matthew for having me and I appreciate your time also.

: Thanks

: Thank you for joining us for another episode of the Wireless LAN Professionals Podcast. The podcast for Wireless LAN Professionals by Wireless LAN Professionals. Be sure to follow us on Twitter @WirelessLANpros for all the latest news and updates and also connect directly with Keith on Twitter @KeithRParsons. Head over to WWW.WlanPros.Com for this episode show notes as well as the latest in all things Wi-Fi.

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from Computer And Technology https://www.wlanpros.com/resources/156-how-to-invest-in-your-wireless-career-with-ferney-munoz/

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I HAVE A MEMORABLE BIRTHDAY

I PASS over all that happened at school, until the anniversary of my birthday came round in March. Except that Steerforth was more to be admired than ever, I remember nothing. He was going away at the end of the half-year, if not sooner, and was more spirited and independent than before in my eyes, and therefore more engaging than before; but beyond this I remember nothing. The great remembrance by which that time is marked in my mind, seems to have swallowed up all lesser recollections, and to exist alone. It is even difficult for me to believe that there was a gap of full two months between my return to Salem House and the arrival of that birthday. I can only understand that the fact was so, because I know it must have been so; otherwise I should feel convinced that there was no interval, and that the one occasion trod upon the other's heels. How well I recollect the kind of day it was! I smell the fog that hung about the place; I see the hoar frost, ghostly, through it; I feel my rimy hair fall clammy on my cheek; I look along the dim perspective of the schoolroom, with a sputtering candle here and there to light up the foggy morning, and the breath of the boys wreathing and smoking in the raw cold as they blow upon their fingers, and tap their feet upon the floor. It was after breakfast, and we had been summoned in from the playground, when Mr. Sharp entered and said: 'David Copperfield is to go into the parlour.' I expected a hamper from Peggotty, and brightened at the order. Some of the boys about me put in their claim not to be forgotten in the distribution of the good things, as I got out of my seat with great alacrity. 'Don't hurry, David,' said Mr. Sharp. 'There's time enough, my boy, don't hurry.' I might have been surprised by the feeling tone in which he spoke, if I had given it a thought; but I gave it none until afterwards. I hurried away to the parlour; and there I found Mr. Creakle, sitting at his breakfast with the cane and a newspaper before him, and Mrs. Creakle with an opened letter in her hand. But no hamper. 'David Copperfield,' said Mrs. Creakle, leading me to a sofa, and sitting down beside me. 'I want to speak to you very particularly. I have something to tell you, my child.' Mr. Creakle, at whom of course I looked, shook his head without looking at me, and stopped up a sigh with a very large piece of buttered toast. 'You are too young to know how the world changes every day,' said Mrs. Creakle, 'and how the people in it pass away. But we all have to learn it, David; some of us when we are young, some of us when we are old, some of us at all times of our lives.' I looked at her earnestly. 'When you came away from home at the end of the vacation,' said Mrs. Creakle, after a pause, 'were they all well?' After another pause, 'Was your mama well?' I trembled without distinctly knowing why, and still looked at her earnestly, making no attempt to answer. 'Because,' said she, 'I grieve to tell you that I hear this morning your mama is very ill.' A mist rose between Mrs. Creakle and me, and her figure seemed to move in it for an instant. Then I felt the burning tears run down my face, and it was steady again. 'She is very dangerously ill,' she added. I knew all now. 'She is dead.' There was no need to tell me so. I had already broken out into a desolate cry, and felt an orphan in the wide world. She was very kind to me. She kept me there all day, and left me alone sometimes; and I cried, and wore myself to sleep, and awoke and cried again. When I could cry no more, I began to think; and then the oppression on my breast was heaviest, and my grief a dull pain that there was no ease for. And yet my thoughts were idle; not intent on the calamity that weighed upon my heart, but idly loitering near it. I thought of our house shut up and hushed. I thought of the little baby, who, Mrs. Creakle said, had been pining away for some time, and who, they believed, would die too. I thought of my father's grave in the churchyard, by our house, and of my mother lying there beneath the tree I knew so well. I stood upon a chair when I was left alone, and looked into the glass to see how red my eyes were, and how sorrowful my face. I considered, after some hours were gone, if my tears were really hard to flow now, as they seemed to be, what, in connexion with my loss, it would affect me most to think of when I drew near home - for I was going home to the funeral. I am sensible of having felt that a dignity attached to me among the rest of the boys, and that I was important in my affliction. If ever child were stricken with sincere grief, I was. But I remember that this importance was a kind of satisfaction to me, when I walked in the playground that afternoon while the boys were in school. When I saw them glancing at me out of the windows, as they went up to their classes, I felt distinguished, and looked more melancholy, and walked slower. When school was over, and they came out and spoke to me, I felt it rather good in myself not to be proud to any of them, and to take exactly the same notice of them all, as before. I was to go home next night; not by the mail, but by the heavy night-coach, which was called the Farmer, and was principally used by country-people travelling short intermediate distances upon the road. We had no story-telling that evening, and Traddles insisted on lending me his pillow. I don't know what good he thought it would do me, for I had one of my own: but it was all he had to lend, poor fellow, except a sheet of letter-paper full of skeletons; and that he gave me at parting, as a soother of my sorrows and a contribution to my peace of mind. I left Salem House upon the morrow afternoon. I little thought then that I left it, never to return. We travelled very slowly all night, and did not get into Yarmouth before nine or ten o'clock in the morning. I looked out for Mr. Barkis, but he was not there; and instead of him a fat, short-winded, merry-looking, little old man in black, with rusty little bunches of ribbons at the knees of his breeches, black stockings, and a broad-brimmed hat, came puffing up to the coach window, and said: 'Master Copperfield?' 'Yes, sir.' 'Will you come with me, young sir, if you please,' he said, opening the door, 'and I shall have the pleasure of taking you home.' I put my hand in his, wondering who he was, and we walked away to a shop in a narrow street, on which was written OMER, DRAPER, TAILOR, HABERDASHER, FUNERAL FURNISHER, &c. It was a close and stifling little shop; full of all sorts of clothing, made and unmade, including one window full of beaver-hats and bonnets. We went into a little back-parlour behind the shop, where we found three young women at work on a quantity of black materials, which were heaped upon the table, and little bits and cuttings of which were littered all over the floor. There was a good fire in the room, and a breathless smell of warm black crape - I did not know what the smell was then, but I know now. The three young women, who appeared to be very industrious and comfortable, raised their heads to look at me, and then went on with their work. Stitch, stitch, stitch. At the same time there came from a workshop across a little yard outside the window, a regular sound of hammering that kept a kind of tune: RAT - tat-tat, RAT - tat-tat, RAT - tat-tat, without any variation. 'Well,' said my conductor to one of the three young women. 'How do you get on, Minnie?' 'We shall be ready by the trying-on time,' she replied gaily, without looking up. 'Don't you be afraid, father.' Mr. Omer took off his broad-brimmed hat, and sat down and panted. He was so fat that he was obliged to pant some time before he could say: 'That's right.' 'Father!' said Minnie, playfully. 'What a porpoise you do grow!' 'Well, I don't know how it is, my dear,' he replied, considering about it. 'I am rather so.' 'You are such a comfortable man, you see,' said Minnie. 'You take things so easy.' 'No use taking 'em otherwise, my dear,' said Mr. Omer. 'No, indeed,' returned his daughter. 'We are all pretty gay here, thank Heaven! Ain't we, father?' 'I hope so, my dear,' said Mr. Omer. 'As I have got my breath now, I think I'll measure this young scholar. Would you walk into the shop, Master Copperfield?' I preceded Mr. Omer, in compliance with his request; and after showing me a roll of cloth which he said was extra super, and too good mourning for anything short of parents, he took my various dimensions, and put them down in a book. While he was recording them he called my attention to his stock in trade, and to certain fashions which he said had 'just come up', and to certain other fashions which he said had 'just gone out'. 'And by that sort of thing we very often lose a little mint of money,' said Mr. Omer. 'But fashions are like human beings. They come in, nobody knows when, why, or how; and they go out, nobody knows when, why, or how. Everything is like life, in my opinion, if you look at it in that point of view.' I was too sorrowful to discuss the question, which would possibly have been beyond me under any circumstances; and Mr. Omer took me back into the parlour, breathing with some difficulty on the way. He then called down a little break-neck range of steps behind a door: 'Bring up that tea and bread-and-butter!' which, after some time, during which I sat looking about me and thinking, and listening to the stitching in the room and the tune that was being hammered across the yard, appeared on a tray, and turned out to be for me. 'I have been acquainted with you,' said Mr. Omer, after watching me for some minutes, during which I had not made much impression on the breakfast, for the black things destroyed my appetite, 'I have been acquainted with you a long time, my young friend.' 'Have you, sir?' 'All your life,' said Mr. Omer. 'I may say before it. I knew your father before you. He was five foot nine and a half, and he lays in five-and-twen-ty foot of ground.' 'RAT - tat-tat, RAT - tat-tat, RAT - tat-tat,' across the yard. 'He lays in five and twen-ty foot of ground, if he lays in a fraction,' said Mr. Omer, pleasantly. 'It was either his request or her direction, I forget which.' 'Do you know how my little brother is, sir?' I inquired. Mr. Omer shook his head. 'RAT - tat-tat, RAT - tat-tat, RAT - tat-tat.' 'He is in his mother's arms,' said he. 'Oh, poor little fellow! Is he dead?' 'Don't mind it more than you can help,' said Mr. Omer. 'Yes. The baby's dead.' My wounds broke out afresh at this intelligence. I left the scarcely-tasted breakfast, and went and rested my head on another table, in a corner of the little room, which Minnie hastily cleared, lest I should spot the mourning that was lying there with my tears. She was a pretty, good-natured girl, and put my hair away from my eyes with a soft, kind touch; but she was very cheerful at having nearly finished her work and being in good time, and was so different from me! Presently the tune left off, and a good-looking young fellow came across the yard into the room. He had a hammer in his hand, and his mouth was full of little nails, which he was obliged to take out before he could speak. 'Well, Joram!' said Mr. Omer. 'How do you get on?' 'All right,' said Joram. 'Done, sir.' Minnie coloured a little, and the other two girls smiled at one another. 'What! you were at it by candle-light last night, when I was at the club, then? Were you?' said Mr. Omer, shutting up one eye. 'Yes,' said Joram. 'As you said we could make a little trip of it, and go over together, if it was done, Minnie and me - and you.' 'Oh! I thought you were going to leave me out altogether,' said Mr. Omer, laughing till he coughed. '- As you was so good as to say that,' resumed the young man, 'why I turned to with a will, you see. Will you give me your opinion of it?' 'I will,' said Mr. Omer, rising. 'My dear'; and he stopped and turned to me: 'would you like to see your -' 'No, father,' Minnie interposed. 'I thought it might be agreeable, my dear,' said Mr. Omer. 'But perhaps you're right.' I can't say how I knew it was my dear, dear mother's coffin that they went to look at. I had never heard one making; I had never seen one that I know of.- but it came into my mind what the noise was, while it was going on; and when the young man entered, I am sure I knew what he had been doing. The work being now finished, the two girls, whose names I had not heard, brushed the shreds and threads from their dresses, and went into the shop to put that to rights, and wait for customers. Minnie stayed behind to fold up what they had made, and pack it in two baskets. This she did upon her knees, humming a lively little tune the while. Joram, who I had no doubt was her lover, came in and stole a kiss from her while she was busy (he didn't appear to mind me, at all), and said her father was gone for the chaise, and he must make haste and get himself ready. Then he went out again; and then she put her thimble and scissors in her pocket, and stuck a needle threaded with black thread neatly in the bosom of her gown, and put on her outer clothing smartly, at a little glass behind the door, in which I saw the reflection of her pleased face. All this I observed, sitting at the table in the corner with my head leaning on my hand, and my thoughts running on very different things. The chaise soon came round to the front of the shop, and the baskets being put in first, I was put in next, and those three followed. I remember it as a kind of half chaise-cart, half pianoforte-van, painted of a sombre colour, and drawn by a black horse with a long tail. There was plenty of room for us all. I do not think I have ever experienced so strange a feeling in my life (I am wiser now, perhaps) as that of being with them, remembering how they had been employed, and seeing them enjoy the ride. I was not angry with them; I was more afraid of them, as if I were cast away among creatures with whom I had no community of nature. They were very cheerful. The old man sat in front to drive, and the two young people sat behind him, and whenever he spoke to them leaned forward, the one on one side of his chubby face and the other on the other, and made a great deal of him. They would have talked to me too, but I held back, and moped in my corner; scared by their love-making and hilarity, though it was far from boisterous, and almost wondering that no judgement came upon them for their hardness of heart. So, when they stopped to bait the horse, and ate and drank and enjoyed themselves, I could touch nothing that they touched, but kept my fast unbroken. So, when we reached home, I dropped out of the chaise behind, as quickly as possible, that I might not be in their company before those solemn windows, looking blindly on me like closed eyes once bright. And oh, how little need I had had to think what would move me to tears when I came back - seeing the window of my mother's room, and next it that which, in the better time, was mine! I was in Peggotty's arms before I got to the door, and she took me into the house. Her grief burst out when she first saw me; but she controlled it soon, and spoke in whispers, and walked softly, as if the dead could be disturbed. She had not been in bed, I found, for a long time. She sat up at night still, and watched. As long as her poor dear pretty was above the ground, she said, she would never desert her. Mr. Murdstone took no heed of me when I went into the parlour where he was, but sat by the fireside, weeping silently, and pondering in his elbow-chair. Miss Murdstone, who was busy at her writing-desk, which was covered with letters and papers, gave me her cold finger-nails, and asked me, in an iron whisper, if I had been measured for my mourning. I said: 'Yes.' 'And your shirts,' said Miss Murdstone; 'have you brought 'em home?' 'Yes, ma'am. I have brought home all my clothes.' This was all the consolation that her firmness administered to me. I do not doubt that she had a choice pleasure in exhibiting what she called her self-command, and her firmness, and her strength of mind, and her common sense, and the whole diabolical catalogue of her unamiable qualities, on such an occasion. She was particularly proud of her turn for business; and she showed it now in reducing everything to pen and ink, and being moved by nothing. All the rest of that day, and from morning to night afterwards, she sat at that desk, scratching composedly with a hard pen, speaking in the same imperturbable whisper to everybody; never relaxing a muscle of her face, or softening a tone of her voice, or appearing with an atom of her dress astray. Her brother took a book sometimes, but never read it that I saw. He would open it and look at it as if he were reading, but would remain for a whole hour without turning the leaf, and then put it down and walk to and fro in the room. I used to sit with folded hands watching him, and counting his footsteps, hour after hour. He very seldom spoke to her, and never to me. He seemed to be the only restless thing, except the clocks, in the whole motionless house. In these days before the funeral, I saw but little of Peggotty, except that, in passing up or down stairs, I always found her close to the room where my mother and her baby lay, and except that she came to me every night, and sat by my bed's head while I went to sleep. A day or two before the burial - I think it was a day or two before, but I am conscious of confusion in my mind about that heavy time, with nothing to mark its progress - she took me into the room. I only recollect that underneath some white covering on the bed, with a beautiful cleanliness and freshness all around it, there seemed to me to lie embodied the solemn stillness that was in the house; and that when she would have turned the cover gently back, I cried: 'Oh no! oh no!' and held her hand. If the funeral had been yesterday, I could not recollect it better. The very air of the best parlour, when I went in at the door, the bright condition of the fire, the shining of the wine in the decanters, the patterns of the glasses and plates, the faint sweet smell of cake, the odour of Miss Murdstone's dress, and our black clothes. Mr. Chillip is in the room, and comes to speak to me. 'And how is Master David?' he says, kindly. I cannot tell him very well. I give him my hand, which he holds in his. 'Dear me!' says Mr. Chillip, meekly smiling, with something shining in his eye. 'Our little friends grow up around us. They grow out of our knowledge, ma'am?' This is to Miss Murdstone, who makes no reply. 'There is a great improvement here, ma'am?' says Mr. Chillip. Miss Murdstone merely answers with a frown and a formal bend: Mr. Chillip, discomfited, goes into a corner, keeping me with him, and opens his mouth no more. I remark this, because I remark everything that happens, not because I care about myself, or have done since I came home. And now the bell begins to sound, and Mr. Omer and another come to make us ready. As Peggotty was wont to tell me, long ago, the followers of my father to the same grave were made ready in the same room. There are Mr. Murdstone, our neighbour Mr. Grayper, Mr. Chillip, and I. When we go out to the door, the Bearers and their load are in the garden; and they move before us down the path, and past the elms, and through the gate, and into the churchyard, where I have so often heard the birds sing on a summer morning. We stand around the grave. The day seems different to me from every other day, and the light not of the same colour - of a sadder colour. Now there is a solemn hush, which we have brought from home with what is resting in the mould; and while we stand bareheaded, I hear the voice of the clergyman, sounding remote in the open air, and yet distinct and plain, saying: 'I am the Resurrection and the Life, saith the Lord!' Then I hear sobs; and, standing apart among the lookers-on, I see that good and faithful servant, whom of all the people upon earth I love the best, and unto whom my childish heart is certain that the Lord will one day say: 'Well done.' There are many faces that I know, among the little crowd; faces that I knew in church, when mine was always wondering there; faces that first saw my mother, when she came to the village in her youthful bloom. I do not mind them - I mind nothing but my grief - and yet I see and know them all; and even in the background, far away, see Minnie looking on, and her eye glancing on her sweetheart, who is near me. It is over, and the earth is filled in, and we turn to come away. Before us stands our house, so pretty and unchanged, so linked in my mind with the young idea of what is gone, that all my sorrow has been nothing to the sorrow it calls forth. But they take me on; and Mr. Chillip talks to me; and when we get home, puts some water to my lips; and when I ask his leave to go up to my room, dismisses me with the gentleness of a woman. All this, I say, is yesterday's event. Events of later date have floated from me to the shore where all forgotten things will reappear, but this stands like a high rock in the ocean. I knew that Peggotty would come to me in my room. The Sabbath stillness of the time (the day was so like Sunday! I have forgotten that) was suited to us both. She sat down by my side upon my little bed; and holding my hand, and sometimes putting it to her lips, and sometimes smoothing it with hers, as she might have comforted my little brother, told me, in her way, all that she had to tell concerning what had happened. 'She was never well,' said Peggotty, 'for a long time. She was uncertain in her mind, and not happy. When her baby was born, I thought at first she would get better, but she was more delicate, and sunk a little every day. She used to like to sit alone before her baby came, and then she cried; but afterwards she used to sing to it - so soft, that I once thought, when I heard her, it was like a voice up in the air, that was rising away. 'I think she got to be more timid, and more frightened-like, of late; and that a hard word was like a blow to her. But she was always the same to me. She never changed to her foolish Peggotty, didn't my sweet girl.' Here Peggotty stopped, and softly beat upon my hand a little while. 'The last time that I saw her like her own old self, was the night when you came home, my dear. The day you went away, she said to me, "I never shall see my pretty darling again. Something tells me so, that tells the truth, I know." 'She tried to hold up after that; and many a time, when they told her she was thoughtless and light-hearted, made believe to be so; but it was all a bygone then. She never told her husband what she had told me - she was afraid of saying it to anybody else - till one night, a little more than a week before it happened, when she said to him: "My dear, I think I am dying." '"It's off my mind now, Peggotty," she told me, when I laid her in her bed that night. "He will believe it more and more, poor fellow, every day for a few days to come; and then it will be past. I am very tired. If this is sleep, sit by me while I sleep: don't leave me. God bless both my children! God protect and keep my fatherless boy!" 'I never left her afterwards,' said Peggotty. 'She often talked to them two downstairs - for she loved them; she couldn't bear not to love anyone who was about her - but when they went away from her bed-side, she always turned to me, as if there was rest where Peggotty was, and never fell asleep in any other way. 'On the last night, in the evening, she kissed me, and said: "If my baby should die too, Peggotty, please let them lay him in my arms, and bury us together." (It was done; for the poor lamb lived but a day beyond her.) "Let my dearest boy go with us to our resting-place," she said, "and tell him that his mother, when she lay here, blessed him not once, but a thousand times."' Another silence followed this, and another gentle beating on my hand. 'It was pretty far in the night,' said Peggotty, 'when she asked me for some drink; and when she had taken it, gave me such a patient smile, the dear! - so beautiful! 'Daybreak had come, and the sun was rising, when she said to me, how kind and considerate Mr. Copperfield had always been to her, and how he had borne with her, and told her, when she doubted herself, that a loving heart was better and stronger than wisdom, and that he was a happy man in hers. "Peggotty, my dear," she said then, "put me nearer to you," for she was very weak. "Lay your good arm underneath my neck," she said, "and turn me to you, for your face is going far off, and I want it to be near." I put it as she asked; and oh Davy! the time had come when my first parting words to you were true - when she was glad to lay her poor head on her stupid cross old Peggotty's arm - and she died like a child that had gone to sleep!' Thus ended Peggotty's narration. From the moment of my knowing of the death of my mother, the idea of her as she had been of late had vanished from me. I remembered her, from that instant, only as the young mother of my earliest impressions, who had been used to wind her bright curls round and round her finger, and to dance with me at twilight in the parlour. What Peggotty had told me now, was so far from bringing me back to the later period, that it rooted the earlier image in my mind. It may be curious, but it is true. In her death she winged her way back to her calm untroubled youth, and cancelled all the rest. The mother who lay in the grave, was the mother of my infancy; the little creature in her arms, was myself, as I had once been, hushed for ever on her bosom.

[readbookywooks]

ENTHUSIASM

I began the next day with another dive into the Roman bath, and then started for Highgate. I was not dispirited now. I was not afraid of the shabby coat, and had no yearnings after gallant greys. My whole manner of thinking of our late misfortune was changed. What I had to do, was, to show my aunt that her past goodness to me had not been thrown away on an insensible, ungrateful object. What I had to do, was, to turn the painful discipline of my younger days to account, by going to work with a resolute and steady heart. What I had to do, was, to take my woodman's axe in my hand, and clear my own way through the forest of difficulty, by cutting down the trees until I came to Dora. And I went on at a mighty rate, as if it could be done by walking. When I found myself on the familiar Highgate road, pursuing such a different errand from that old one of pleasure, with which it was associated, it seemed as if a complete change had come on my whole life. But that did not discourage me. With the new life, came new purpose, new intention. Great was the labour; priceless the reward. Dora was the reward, and Dora must be won. I got into such a transport, that I felt quite sorry my coat was not a little shabby already. I wanted to be cutting at those trees in the forest of difficulty, under circumstances that should prove my strength. I had a good mind to ask an old man, in wire spectacles, who was breaking stones upon the road, to lend me his hammer for a little while, and let me begin to beat a path to Dora out of granite. I stimulated myself into such a heat, and got so out of breath, that I felt as if I had been earning I don't know how much. In this state, I went into a cottage that I saw was to let, and examined it narrowly, - for I felt it necessary to be practical. It would do for me and Dora admirably: with a little front garden for Jip to run about in, and bark at the tradespeople through the railings, and a capital room upstairs for my aunt. I came out again, hotter and faster than ever, and dashed up to Highgate, at such a rate that I was there an hour too early; and, though I had not been, should have been obliged to stroll about to cool myself, before I was at all presentable. My first care, after putting myself under this necessary course of preparation, was to find the Doctor's house. It was not in that part of Highgate where Mrs. Steerforth lived, but quite on the opposite side of the little town. When I had made this discovery, I went back, in an attraction I could not resist, to a lane by Mrs. Steerforth's, and looked over the corner of the garden wall. His room was shut up close. The conservatory doors were standing open, and Rosa Dartle was walking, bareheaded, with a quick, impetuous step, up and down a gravel walk on one side of the lawn. She gave me the idea of some fierce thing, that was dragging the length of its chain to and fro upon a beaten track, and wearing its heart out. I came softly away from my place of observation, and avoiding that part of the neighbourhood, and wishing I had not gone near it, strolled about until it was ten o'clock. The church with the slender spire, that stands on the top of the hill now, was not there then to tell me the time. An old red-brick mansion, used as a school, was in its place; and a fine old house it must have been to go to school at, as I recollect it. When I approached the Doctor's cottage - a pretty old place, on which he seemed to have expended some money, if I might judge from the embellishments and repairs that had the look of being just completed - I saw him walking in the garden at the side, gaiters and all, as if he had never left off walking since the days of my pupilage. He had his old companions about him, too; for there were plenty of high trees in the neighbourhood, and two or three rooks were on the grass, looking after him, as if they had been written to about him by the Canterbury rooks, and were observing him closely in consequence. Knowing the utter hopelessness of attracting his attention from that distance, I made bold to open the gate, and walk after him, so as to meet him when he should turn round. When he did, and came towards me, he looked at me thoughtfully for a few moments, evidently without thinking about me at all; and then his benevolent face expressed extraordinary pleasure, and he took me by both hands. 'Why, my dear Copperfield,' said the Doctor, 'you are a man! How do you do? I am delighted to see you. My dear Copperfield, how very much you have improved! You are quite - yes - dear me!' I hoped he was well, and Mrs. Strong too. 'Oh dear, yes!' said the Doctor; 'Annie's quite well, and she'll be delighted to see you. You were always her favourite. She said so, last night, when I showed her your letter. And - yes, to be sure - you recollect Mr. Jack Maldon, Copperfield?' 'Perfectly, sir.' 'Of course,' said the Doctor. 'To be sure. He's pretty well, too.' 'Has he come home, sir?' I inquired. 'From India?' said the Doctor. 'Yes. Mr. Jack Maldon couldn't bear the climate, my dear. Mrs. Markleham - you have not forgotten Mrs. Markleham?' Forgotten the Old Soldier! And in that short time! 'Mrs. Markleham,' said the Doctor, 'was quite vexed about him, poor thing; so we have got him at home again; and we have bought him a little Patent place, which agrees with him much better.' I knew enough of Mr. Jack Maldon to suspect from this account that it was a place where there was not much to do, and which was pretty well paid. The Doctor, walking up and down with his hand on my shoulder, and his kind face turned encouragingly to mine, went on: 'Now, my dear Copperfield, in reference to this proposal of yours. It's very gratifying and agreeable to me, I am sure; but don't you think you could do better? You achieved distinction, you know, when you were with us. You are qualified for many good things. You have laid a foundation that any edifice may be raised upon; and is it not a pity that you should devote the spring-time of your life to such a poor pursuit as I can offer?' I became very glowing again, and, expressing myself in a rhapsodical style, I am afraid, urged my request strongly; reminding the Doctor that I had already a profession. 'Well, well,' said the Doctor, 'that's true. Certainly, your having a profession, and being actually engaged in studying it, makes a difference. But, my good young friend, what's seventy pounds a year?' 'It doubles our income, Doctor Strong,' said I. 'Dear me!' replied the Doctor. 'To think of that! Not that I mean to say it's rigidly limited to seventy pounds a-year, because I have always contemplated making any young friend I might thus employ, a present too. Undoubtedly,' said the Doctor, still walking me up and down with his hand on my shoulder. 'I have always taken an annual present into account.' 'My dear tutor,' said I (now, really, without any nonsense), 'to whom I owe more obligations already than I ever can acknowledge -' 'No, no,' interposed the Doctor. 'Pardon me!' 'If you will take such time as I have, and that is my mornings and evenings, and can think it worth seventy pounds a year, you will do me such a service as I cannot express.' 'Dear me!' said the Doctor, innocently. 'To think that so little should go for so much! Dear, dear! And when you can do better, you will? On your word, now?' said the Doctor, - which he had always made a very grave appeal to the honour of us boys. 'On my word, sir!' I returned, answering in our old school manner. 'Then be it so,' said the Doctor, clapping me on the shoulder, and still keeping his hand there, as we still walked up and down. 'And I shall be twenty times happier, sir,' said I, with a little - I hope innocent - flattery, 'if my employment is to be on the Dictionary.' The Doctor stopped, smilingly clapped me on the shoulder again, and exclaimed, with a triumph most delightful to behold, as if I had penetrated to the profoundest depths of mortal sagacity, 'My dear young friend, you have hit it. It IS the Dictionary!' How could it be anything else! His pockets were as full of it as his head. It was sticking out of him in all directions. He told me that since his retirement from scholastic life, he had been advancing with it wonderfully; and that nothing could suit him better than the proposed arrangements for morning and evening work, as it was his custom to walk about in the daytime with his considering cap on. His papers were in a little confusion, in consequence of Mr. Jack Maldon having lately proffered his occasional services as an amanuensis, and not being accustomed to that occupation; but we should soon put right what was amiss, and go on swimmingly. Afterwards, when we were fairly at our work, I found Mr. Jack Maldon's efforts more troublesome to me than I had expected, as he had not confined himself to making numerous mistakes, but had sketched so many soldiers, and ladies' heads, over the Doctor's manuscript, that I often became involved in labyrinths of obscurity. The Doctor was quite happy in the prospect of our going to work together on that wonderful performance, and we settled to begin next morning at seven o'clock. We were to work two hours every morning, and two or three hours every night, except on Saturdays, when I was to rest. On Sundays, of course, I was to rest also, and I considered these very easy terms. Our plans being thus arranged to our mutual satisfaction, the Doctor took me into the house to present me to Mrs. Strong, whom we found in the Doctor's new study, dusting his books, - a freedom which he never permitted anybody else to take with those sacred favourites. They had postponed their breakfast on my account, and we sat down to table together. We had not been seated long, when I saw an approaching arrival in Mrs. Strong's face, before I heard any sound of it. A gentleman on horseback came to the gate, and leading his horse into the little court, with the bridle over his arm, as if he were quite at home, tied him to a ring in the empty coach-house wall, and came into the breakfast parlour, whip in hand. It was Mr. Jack Maldon; and Mr. Jack Maldon was not at all improved by India, I thought. I was in a state of ferocious virtue, however, as to young men who were not cutting down trees in the forest of difficulty; and my impression must be received with due allowance. 'Mr. Jack!' said the Doctor. 'Copperfield!' Mr. Jack Maldon shook hands with me; but not very warmly, I believed; and with an air of languid patronage, at which I secretly took great umbrage. But his languor altogether was quite a wonderful sight; except when he addressed himself to his cousin Annie. 'Have you breakfasted this morning, Mr. Jack?' said the Doctor. 'I hardly ever take breakfast, sir,' he replied, with his head thrown back in an easy-chair. 'I find it bores me.' 'Is there any news today?' inquired the Doctor. 'Nothing at all, sir,' replied Mr. Maldon. 'There's an account about the people being hungry and discontented down in the North, but they are always being hungry and discontented somewhere.' The Doctor looked grave, and said, as though he wished to change the subject, 'Then there's no news at all; and no news, they say, is good news.' 'There's a long statement in the papers, sir, about a murder,' observed Mr. Maldon. 'But somebody is always being murdered, and I didn't read it.' A display of indifference to all the actions and passions of mankind was not supposed to be such a distinguished quality at that time, I think, as I have observed it to be considered since. I have known it very fashionable indeed. I have seen it displayed with such success, that I have encountered some fine ladies and gentlemen who might as well have been born caterpillars. Perhaps it impressed me the more then, because it was new to me, but it certainly did not tend to exalt my opinion of, or to strengthen my confidence in, Mr. Jack Maldon. 'I came out to inquire whether Annie would like to go to the opera tonight,' said Mr. Maldon, turning to her. 'It's the last good night there will be, this season; and there's a singer there, whom she really ought to hear. She is perfectly exquisite. Besides which, she is so charmingly ugly,' relapsing into languor. The Doctor, ever pleased with what was likely to please his young wife, turned to her and said: 'You must go, Annie. You must go.' 'I would rather not,' she said to the Doctor. 'I prefer to remain at home. I would much rather remain at home.' Without looking at her cousin, she then addressed me, and asked me about Agnes, and whether she should see her, and whether she was not likely to come that day; and was so much disturbed, that I wondered how even the Doctor, buttering his toast, could be blind to what was so obvious. But he saw nothing. He told her, good-naturedly, that she was young and ought to be amused and entertained, and must not allow herself to be made dull by a dull old fellow. Moreover, he said, he wanted to hear her sing all the new singer's songs to him; and how could she do that well, unless she went? So the Doctor persisted in making the engagement for her, and Mr. Jack Maldon was to come back to dinner. This concluded, he went to his Patent place, I suppose; but at all events went away on his horse, looking very idle. I was curious to find out next morning, whether she had been. She had not, but had sent into London to put her cousin off; and had gone out in the afternoon to see Agnes, and had prevailed upon the Doctor to go with her; and they had walked home by the fields, the Doctor told me, the evening being delightful. I wondered then, whether she would have gone if Agnes had not been in town, and whether Agnes had some good influence over her too! She did not look very happy, I thought; but it was a good face, or a very false one. I often glanced at it, for she sat in the window all the time we were at work; and made our breakfast, which we took by snatches as we were employed. When I left, at nine o'clock, she was kneeling on the ground at the Doctor's feet, putting on his shoes and gaiters for him. There was a softened shade upon her face, thrown from some green leaves overhanging the open window of the low room; and I thought all the way to Doctors' Commons, of the night when I had seen it looking at him as he read. I was pretty busy now; up at five in the morning, and home at nine or ten at night. But I had infinite satisfaction in being so closely engaged, and never walked slowly on any account, and felt enthusiastically that the more I tired myself, the more I was doing to deserve Dora. I had not revealed myself in my altered character to Dora yet, because she was coming to see Miss Mills in a few days, and I deferred all I had to tell her until then; merely informing her in my letters (all our communications were secretly forwarded through Miss Mills), that I had much to tell her. In the meantime, I put myself on a short allowance of bear's grease, wholly abandoned scented soap and lavender water, and sold off three waistcoats at a prodigious sacrifice, as being too luxurious for my stern career. Not satisfied with all these proceedings, but burning with impatience to do something more, I went to see Traddles, now lodging up behind the parapet of a house in Castle Street, Holborn. Mr. Dick, who had been with me to Highgate twice already, and had resumed his companionship with the Doctor, I took with me. I took Mr. Dick with me, because, acutely sensitive to my aunt's reverses, and sincerely believing that no galley-slave or convict worked as I did, he had begun to fret and worry himself out of spirits and appetite, as having nothing useful to do. In this condition, he felt more incapable of finishing the Memorial than ever; and the harder he worked at it, the oftener that unlucky head of King Charles the First got into it. Seriously apprehending that his malady would increase, unless we put some innocent deception upon him and caused him to believe that he was useful, or unless we could put him in the way of being really useful (which would be better), I made up my mind to try if Traddles could help us. Before we went, I wrote Traddles a full statement of all that had happened, and Traddles wrote me back a capital answer, expressive of his sympathy and friendship. We found him hard at work with his inkstand and papers, refreshed by the sight of the flower-pot stand and the little round table in a corner of the small apartment. He received us cordially, and made friends with Mr. Dick in a moment. Mr. Dick professed an absolute certainty of having seen him before, and we both said, 'Very likely.' The first subject on which I had to consult Traddles was this, - I had heard that many men distinguished in various pursuits had begun life by reporting the debates in Parliament. Traddles having mentioned newspapers to me, as one of his hopes, I had put the two things together, and told Traddles in my letter that I wished to know how I could qualify myself for this pursuit. Traddles now informed me, as the result of his inquiries, that the mere mechanical acquisition necessary, except in rare cases, for thorough excellence in it, that is to say, a perfect and entire command of the mystery of short-hand writing and reading, was about equal in difficulty to the mastery of six languages; and that it might perhaps be attained, by dint of perseverance, in the course of a few years. Traddles reasonably supposed that this would settle the business; but I, only feeling that here indeed were a few tall trees to be hewn down, immediately resolved to work my way on to Dora through this thicket, axe in hand. 'I am very much obliged to you, my dear Traddles!' said I. 'I'll begin tomorrow.' Traddles looked astonished, as he well might; but he had no notion as yet of my rapturous condition. 'I'll buy a book,' said I, 'with a good scheme of this art in it; I'll work at it at the Commons, where I haven't half enough to do; I'll take down the speeches in our court for practice - Traddles, my dear fellow, I'll master it!' 'Dear me,' said Traddles, opening his eyes, 'I had no idea you were such a determined character, Copperfield!' I don't know how he should have had, for it was new enough to me. I passed that off, and brought Mr. Dick on the carpet. 'You see,' said Mr. Dick, wistfully, 'if I could exert myself, Mr. Traddles - if I could beat a drum- or blow anything!' Poor fellow! I have little doubt he would have preferred such an employment in his heart to all others. Traddles, who would not have smiled for the world, replied composedly: 'But you are a very good penman, sir. You told me so, Copperfield?' 'Excellent!' said I. And indeed he was. He wrote with extraordinary neatness. 'Don't you think,' said Traddles, 'you could copy writings, sir, if I got them for you?' Mr. Dick looked doubtfully at me. 'Eh, Trotwood?' I shook my head. Mr. Dick shook his, and sighed. 'Tell him about the Memorial,' said Mr. Dick. I explained to Traddles that there was a difficulty in keeping King Charles the First out of Mr. Dick's manuscripts; Mr. Dick in the meanwhile looking very deferentially and seriously at Traddles, and sucking his thumb. 'But these writings, you know, that I speak of, are already drawn up and finished,' said Traddles after a little consideration. 'Mr. Dick has nothing to do with them. Wouldn't that make a difference, Copperfield? At all events, wouldn't it be well to try?' This gave us new hope. Traddles and I laying our heads together apart, while Mr. Dick anxiously watched us from his chair, we concocted a scheme in virtue of which we got him to work next day, with triumphant success. On a table by the window in Buckingham Street, we set out the work Traddles procured for him - which was to make, I forget how many copies of a legal document about some right of way - and on another table we spread the last unfinished original of the great Memorial. Our instructions to Mr. Dick were that he should copy exactly what he had before him, without the least departure from the original; and that when he felt it necessary to make the slightest allusion to King Charles the First, he should fly to the Memorial. We exhorted him to be resolute in this, and left my aunt to observe him. My aunt reported to us, afterwards, that, at first, he was like a man playing the kettle-drums, and constantly divided his attentions between the two; but that, finding this confuse and fatigue him, and having his copy there, plainly before his eyes, he soon sat at it in an orderly business-like manner, and postponed the Memorial to a more convenient time. In a word, although we took great care that he should have no more to do than was good for him, and although he did not begin with the beginning of a week, he earned by the following Saturday night ten shillings and nine-pence; and never, while I live, shall I forget his going about to all the shops in the neighbourhood to change this treasure into sixpences, or his bringing them to my aunt arranged in the form of a heart upon a waiter, with tears of joy and pride in his eyes. He was like one under the propitious influence of a charm, from the moment of his being usefully employed; and if there were a happy man in the world, that Saturday night, it was the grateful creature who thought my aunt the most wonderful woman in existence, and me the most wonderful young man. 'No starving now, Trotwood,' said Mr. Dick, shaking hands with me in a corner. 'I'll provide for her, Sir!' and he flourished his ten fingers in the air, as if they were ten banks. I hardly know which was the better pleased, Traddles or I. 'It really,' said Traddles, suddenly, taking a letter out of his pocket, and giving it to me, 'put Mr. Micawber quite out of my head!' The letter (Mr. Micawber never missed any possible opportunity of writing a letter) was addressed to me, 'By the kindness of T. Traddles, Esquire, of the Inner Temple.' It ran thus: - 'MY DEAR COPPERFIELD, 'You may possibly not be unprepared to receive the intimation that something has turned up. I may have mentioned to you on a former occasion that I was in expectation of such an event. 'I am about to establish myself in one of the provincial towns of our favoured island (where the society may be described as a happy admixture of the agricultural and the clerical), in immediate connexion with one of the learned professions. Mrs. Micawber and our offspring will accompany me. Our ashes, at a future period, will probably be found commingled in the cemetery attached to a venerable pile, for which the spot to which I refer has acquired a reputation, shall I say from China to Peru? 'In bidding adieu to the modern Babylon, where we have undergone many vicissitudes, I trust not ignobly, Mrs. Micawber and myself cannot disguise from our minds that we part, it may be for years and it may be for ever, with an individual linked by strong associations to the altar of our domestic life. If, on the eve of such a departure, you will accompany our mutual friend, Mr. Thomas Traddles, to our present abode, and there reciprocate the wishes natural to the occasion, you will confer a Boon 'On 'One 'Who 'Is 'Ever yours, 'WILKINS MICAWBER.' I was glad to find that Mr. Micawber had got rid of his dust and ashes, and that something really had turned up at last. Learning from Traddles that the invitation referred to the evening then wearing away, I expressed my readiness to do honour to it; and we went off together to the lodging which Mr. Micawber occupied as Mr. Mortimer, and which was situated near the top of the Gray's Inn Road. The resources of this lodging were so limited, that we found the twins, now some eight or nine years old, reposing in a turn-up bedstead in the family sitting-room, where Mr. Micawber had prepared, in a wash-hand-stand jug, what he called 'a Brew' of the agreeable beverage for which he was famous. I had the pleasure, on this occasion, of renewing the acquaintance of Master Micawber, whom I found a promising boy of about twelve or thirteen, very subject to that restlessness of limb which is not an unfrequent phenomenon in youths of his age. I also became once more known to his sister, Miss Micawber, in whom, as Mr. Micawber told us, 'her mother renewed her youth, like the Phoenix'. 'My dear Copperfield,' said Mr. Micawber, 'yourself and Mr. Traddles find us on the brink of migration, and will excuse any little discomforts incidental to that position.' Glancing round as I made a suitable reply, I observed that the family effects were already packed, and that the amount of luggage was by no means overwhelming. I congratulated Mrs. Micawber on the approaching change. 'My dear Mr. Copperfield,' said Mrs. Micawber, 'of your friendly interest in all our affairs, I am well assured. My family may consider it banishment, if they please; but I am a wife and mother, and I never will desert Mr. Micawber.' Traddles, appealed to by Mrs. Micawber's eye, feelingly acquiesced. 'That,' said Mrs. Micawber, 'that, at least, is my view, my dear Mr. Copperfield and Mr. Traddles, of the obligation which I took upon myself when I repeated the irrevocable words, "I, Emma, take thee, Wilkins." I read the service over with a flat-candle on the previous night, and the conclusion I derived from it was, that I never could desert Mr. Micawber. And,' said Mrs. Micawber, 'though it is possible I may be mistaken in my view of the ceremony, I never will!' 'My dear,' said Mr. Micawber, a little impatiently, 'I am not conscious that you are expected to do anything of the sort.' 'I am aware, my dear Mr. Copperfield,' pursued Mrs. Micawber, 'that I am now about to cast my lot among strangers; and I am also aware that the various members of my family, to whom Mr. Micawber has written in the most gentlemanly terms, announcing that fact, have not taken the least notice of Mr. Micawber's communication. Indeed I may be superstitious,' said Mrs. Micawber, 'but it appears to me that Mr. Micawber is destined never to receive any answers whatever to the great majority of the communications he writes. I may augur, from the silence of my family, that they object to the resolution I have taken; but I should not allow myself to be swerved from the path of duty, Mr. Copperfield, even by my papa and mama, were they still living.' I expressed my opinion that this was going in the right direction. 'It may be a sacrifice,' said Mrs. Micawber, 'to immure one's-self in a Cathedral town; but surely, Mr. Copperfield, if it is a sacrifice in me, it is much more a sacrifice in a man of Mr. Micawber's abilities.' 'Oh! You are going to a Cathedral town?' said I. Mr. Micawber, who had been helping us all, out of the wash-hand-stand jug, replied: 'To Canterbury. In fact, my dear Copperfield, I have entered into arrangements, by virtue of which I stand pledged and contracted to our friend Heep, to assist and serve him in the capacity of - and to be - his confidential clerk.' I stared at Mr. Micawber, who greatly enjoyed my surprise. 'I am bound to state to you,' he said, with an official air, 'that the business habits, and the prudent suggestions, of Mrs. Micawber, have in a great measure conduced to this result. The gauntlet, to which Mrs. Micawber referred upon a former occasion, being thrown down in the form of an advertisement, was taken up by my friend Heep, and led to a mutual recognition. Of my friend Heep,' said Mr. Micawber, 'who is a man of remarkable shrewdness, I desire to speak with all possible respect. My friend Heep has not fixed the positive remuneration at too high a figure, but he has made a great deal, in the way of extrication from the pressure of pecuniary difficulties, contingent on the value of my services; and on the value of those services I pin my faith. Such address and intelligence as I chance to possess,' said Mr. Micawber, boastfully disparaging himself, with the old genteel air, 'will be devoted to my friend Heep's service. I have already some acquaintance with the law - as a defendant on civil process - and I shall immediately apply myself to the Commentaries of one of the most eminent and remarkable of our English jurists. I believe it is unnecessary to add that I allude to Mr. justice Blackstone.' These observations, and indeed the greater part of the observations made that evening, were interrupted by Mrs. Micawber's discovering that Master Micawber was sitting on his boots, or holding his head on with both arms as if he felt it loose, or accidentally kicking Traddles under the table, or shuffling his feet over one another, or producing them at distances from himself apparently outrageous to nature, or lying sideways with his hair among the wine-glasses, or developing his restlessness of limb in some other form incompatible with the general interests of society; and by Master Micawber's receiving those discoveries in a resentful spirit. I sat all the while, amazed by Mr. Micawber's disclosure, and wondering what it meant; until Mrs. Micawber resumed the thread of the discourse, and claimed my attention. 'What I particularly request Mr. Micawber to be careful of, is,' said Mrs. Micawber, 'that he does not, my dear Mr. Copperfield, in applying himself to this subordinate branch of the law, place it out of his power to rise, ultimately, to the top of the tree. I am convinced that Mr. Micawber, giving his mind to a profession so adapted to his fertile resources, and his flow of language, must distinguish himself. Now, for example, Mr. Traddles,' said Mrs. Micawber, assuming a profound air, 'a judge, or even say a Chancellor. Does an individual place himself beyond the pale of those preferments by entering on such an office as Mr. Micawber has accepted?' 'My dear,' observed Mr. Micawber - but glancing inquisitively at Traddles, too; 'we have time enough before us, for the consideration of those questions.' 'Micawber,' she returned, 'no! Your mistake in life is, that you do not look forward far enough. You are bound, in justice to your family, if not to yourself, to take in at a comprehensive glance the extremest point in the horizon to which your abilities may lead you.' Mr. Micawber coughed, and drank his punch with an air of exceeding satisfaction - still glancing at Traddles, as if he desired to have his opinion. 'Why, the plain state of the case, Mrs. Micawber,' said Traddles, mildly breaking the truth to her. 'I mean the real prosaic fact, you know -' 'Just so,' said Mrs. Micawber, 'my dear Mr. Traddles, I wish to be as prosaic and literal as possible on a subject of so much importance.' '- Is,' said Traddles, 'that this branch of the law, even if Mr. Micawber were a regular solicitor -' 'Exactly so,' returned Mrs. Micawber. ('Wilkins, you are squinting, and will not be able to get your eyes back.') '- Has nothing,' pursued Traddles, 'to do with that. Only a barrister is eligible for such preferments; and Mr. Micawber could not be a barrister, without being entered at an inn of court as a student, for five years.' 'Do I follow you?' said Mrs. Micawber, with her most affable air of business. 'Do I understand, my dear Mr. Traddles, that, at the expiration of that period, Mr. Micawber would be eligible as a Judge or Chancellor?' 'He would be ELIGIBLE,' returned Traddles, with a strong emphasis on that word. 'Thank you,' said Mrs. Micawber. 'That is quite sufficient. If such is the case, and Mr. Micawber forfeits no privilege by entering on these duties, my anxiety is set at rest. I speak,' said Mrs. Micawber, 'as a female, necessarily; but I have always been of opinion that Mr. Micawber possesses what I have heard my papa call, when I lived at home, the judicial mind; and I hope Mr. Micawber is now entering on a field where that mind will develop itself, and take a commanding station.' I quite believe that Mr. Micawber saw himself, in his judicial mind's eye, on the woolsack. He passed his hand complacently over his bald head, and said with ostentatious resignation: 'My dear, we will not anticipate the decrees of fortune. If I am reserved to wear a wig, I am at least prepared, externally,' in allusion to his baldness, 'for that distinction. I do not,' said Mr. Micawber, 'regret my hair, and I may have been deprived of it for a specific purpose. I cannot say. It is my intention, my dear Copperfield, to educate my son for the Church; I will not deny that I should be happy, on his account, to attain to eminence.' 'For the Church?' said I, still pondering, between whiles, on Uriah Heep. 'Yes,' said Mr. Micawber. 'He has a remarkable head-voice, and will commence as a chorister. Our residence at Canterbury, and our local connexion, will, no doubt, enable him to take advantage of any vacancy that may arise in the Cathedral corps.' On looking at Master Micawber again, I saw that he had a certain expression of face, as if his voice were behind his eyebrows; where it presently appeared to be, on his singing us (as an alternative between that and bed) 'The Wood-Pecker tapping'. After many compliments on this performance, we fell into some general conversation; and as I was too full of my desperate intentions to keep my altered circumstances to myself, I made them known to Mr. and Mrs. Micawber. I cannot express how extremely delighted they both were, by the idea of my aunt's being in difficulties; and how comfortable and friendly it made them. When we were nearly come to the last round of the punch, I addressed myself to Traddles, and reminded him that we must not separate, without wishing our friends health, happiness, and success in their new career. I begged Mr. Micawber to fill us bumpers, and proposed the toast in due form: shaking hands with him across the table, and kissing Mrs. Micawber, to commemorate that eventful occasion. Traddles imitated me in the first particular, but did not consider himself a sufficiently old friend to venture on the second. 'My dear Copperfield,' said Mr. Micawber, rising with one of his thumbs in each of his waistcoat pockets, 'the companion of my youth: if I may be allowed the expression - and my esteemed friend Traddles: if I may be permitted to call him so - will allow me, on the part of Mrs. Micawber, myself, and our offspring, to thank them in the warmest and most uncompromising terms for their good wishes. It may be expected that on the eve of a migration which will consign us to a perfectly new existence,' Mr. Micawber spoke as if they were going five hundred thousand miles, 'I should offer a few valedictory remarks to two such friends as I see before me. But all that I have to say in this way, I have said. Whatever station in society I may attain, through the medium of the learned profession of which I am about to become an unworthy member, I shall endeavour not to disgrace, and Mrs. Micawber will be safe to adorn. Under the temporary pressure of pecuniary liabilities, contracted with a view to their immediate liquidation, but remaining unliquidated through a combination of circumstances, I have been under the necessity of assuming a garb from which my natural instincts recoil - I allude to spectacles - and possessing myself of a cognomen, to which I can establish no legitimate pretensions. All I have to say on that score is, that the cloud has passed from the dreary scene, and the God of Day is once more high upon the mountain tops. On Monday next, on the arrival of the four o'clock afternoon coach at Canterbury, my foot will be on my native heath - my name, Micawber!' Mr. Micawber resumed his seat on the close of these remarks, and drank two glasses of punch in grave succession. He then said with much solemnity: 'One thing more I have to do, before this separation is complete, and that is to perform an act of justice. My friend Mr. Thomas Traddles has, on two several occasions, "put his name", if I may use a common expression, to bills of exchange for my accommodation. On the first occasion Mr. Thomas Traddles was left - let me say, in short, in the lurch. The fulfilment of the second has not yet arrived. The amount of the first obligation,' here Mr. Micawber carefully referred to papers, 'was, I believe, twenty-three, four, nine and a half, of the second, according to my entry of that transaction, eighteen, six, two. These sums, united, make a total, if my calculation is correct, amounting to forty-one, ten, eleven and a half. My friend Copperfield will perhaps do me the favour to check that total?' I did so and found it correct. 'To leave this metropolis,' said Mr. Micawber, 'and my friend Mr. Thomas Traddles, without acquitting myself of the pecuniary part of this obligation, would weigh upon my mind to an insupportable extent. I have, therefore, prepared for my friend Mr. Thomas Traddles, and I now hold in my hand, a document, which accomplishes the desired object. I beg to hand to my friend Mr. Thomas Traddles my I.O.U. for forty-one, ten, eleven and a half, and I am happy to recover my moral dignity, and to know that I can once more walk erect before my fellow man!' With this introduction (which greatly affected him), Mr. Micawber placed his I.O.U. in the hands of Traddles, and said he wished him well in every relation of life. I am persuaded, not only that this was quite the same to Mr. Micawber as paying the money, but that Traddles himself hardly knew the difference until he had had time to think about it. Mr. Micawber walked so erect before his fellow man, on the strength of this virtuous action, that his chest looked half as broad again when he lighted us downstairs. We parted with great heartiness on both sides; and when I had seen Traddles to his own door, and was going home alone, I thought, among the other odd and contradictory things I mused upon, that, slippery as Mr. Micawber was, I was probably indebted to some compassionate recollection he retained of me as his boy-lodger, for never having been asked by him for money. I certainly should not have had the moral courage to refuse it; and I have no doubt he knew that (to his credit be it written), quite as well as I did.