#looking forward to having days off again
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sent in my ~3 weeks notice for my weekend job! ive discovered that i don't actually enjoy painting
#looking forward to having days off again#looking forward to maybe seeing friends sometimes and also doing chores and errands and seeing family and maybe ohh. political involvement#and perhaps also resting#im planning on using weekend time for all that plus house hunting just in case i get accepted to a program and also job hunting bc#well. in 2 months or so i will be ~Eligible~ for ~Up To~ a ~40 cent~ raise 🥰🥰#shoutout to ryan for s heduling me for as many hours as a part timer can be scheduled for. but also i need more than that#ive become a sort of unpleasant person to be around with my weekend job and i hope this is a positive change in all those ways#50-200 per pay period is i think not worth the stress and bitterness it fills me with esp when like theres not a lot of consistency in hours#ive wrestled with this for like months at this point#and part of me is like well the year mark at this job is just 2 months away i can do it.#but the other part of me is like i will be learning my fate for the next 5 years around that time and i need to prepare for ANY outcome#so maybe it would be more financially prudent to keep the job?#but i miss feeling like a person and i need one or two guaranteed days off for that i think#bc i am at my main job 5 days a eeek. only 6.5h per day but :)#maybe ill enjoy painting when i leave this job but it is not a creative endeavor to which i have felt myself drawn since. middle school#it was genuinely almost comical how badly the painting i was instructing yesterday turned out#the ladies had fun but i hated how it came out lol so i had to really fight to keep a light and bright energy lmao#okay thats. doesnt matter#blah blah blah
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Hey y'all! Do you have any recommendations for other plushie makers or designers with shops where I can buy their plushies?
#the person behind the yarn#every once in a while I like to buy plushies to learn how they were made#not to copy the patterns! not to take them apart!#just to look at them in person so I can see like. how the heck did they do that#and sometimes the answer is “embroidery machine” or “custom fabric” or “airbrushing” so I can't do it#but sometimes the answer is “elastic in the pig's tail” or “hidden ladder stitch in this section to make it turn”#and then I can take that tool and use it in the future to design other plushies#I assume other designers do that with my plushies?#like. there are plushie construction techniques I can learn just from looking at a picture of a finished plushie sometimes#some of them I keep and some of them get added to my stash of 'future baby shower presents'#and I am about to pretty much clear off the shelf where I keep them#because I like to send plushies for the older siblings too when I send baby gifts to people I know#which means this latest round of baby blankets will go out with SIX plushies#so I have space! and I want to see about getting a few more plushies over time#and one of them is a seagull from a major brand because it makes me laugh and also I want to see how they did the beak#but I also like to drag out the plushie selecting process over days. it's fun! gives me something to look forward to!#and I will not be buying six plushies at once (that's expensive) so I will have something to look forward to again in the future! :D
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Surely no one can tell I've been putting off doing the Living Memory part of the story....
#Z speaks#Next one isn't even actually in LM#but like............ I'm both not looking forward to and very much looking forward to doing it#Do I want to experience the sheer terror I felt the whole time I was there? No.#But do I want to get to some of the really heavy hitting impactful parts? YES.#Anyway I'm working on poses rn for the next part#well.... more poses. I've had it drafted and had a few poses done for a while now#I've just been super wiped out after work and on my days off lately#so I've been having trouble finding the time and motivation to do it.#Once again though if I want to get to the parts I'm super looking forward to#I must first do some parts that I am looking forward to less. v.v
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"Uh- I'm Arnold. Bennett. It's profoundly difficult to get your lifes works and studies accepted if your name isn't... yes, oh! Are you a fan of moths, sir?"
NEW RDR2 OC!! a reclusive, clumsy entomologist and bug collector; cooped up in his study of uniformed clutter
#i drew him on such a tiny file 😭😭DIDNT THINK ABT IT im so used to drawing less detailed big headed trolls BWHAHA#I'm still figuring out where he's from and his lore!#he's definitely from south asia... I'm leaning towards him originally being from Sri Lanka#which I BELIEVE was called Ceylon at the time under british rule#im looking forward to spending some time on researching this further before coming to any conclusions. for now his backstory isss vague#and practically nonexistant#he now lives in Saint Denis! if he was in game his study would be accessible#likely through a greenhouse similar to Algernon's encounters yknow!!#some stained glass windowss lots of lamps and dark academia inspo... also agitha twilight princess inspired#he's very socially awkward and clumsy#used to being a recluse and submitting his findings and works semi-anonymously through his name but without a face#so when he encounters arthur or john OR the player if in online he's VERY surprised and even clumsier#but extremely enthusiastic to share his passions#LISTEN I'm playing rdr2 for hours almost every day but I can't tell if insects are studyable#IF it was a feature THIS MAN!!! would be the one to send you on missions related to it ESPECIALLY online#ANYWAY!!!! these r things that have instantly come to mind for him!! I hope I can develop him a little more with time and research#red dead redemption 2#red dead redemption#rdr2#rdr#OC#original character#protagonist ocs#I NEVER POST MY OCS ON HERE i need 2 start posting them again#OH AND OBVIOUSLY he changed his name at least professionally... idk if it was legally or he just went around signing off as a different nam#unless someone asks for his original name he probably won't give it#i need 2 adjust his sideburns because theyr meant to be all white with some line definition but i forgot abt it 💀
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#what a day. what a week.#i have no idea how these people do this every week. i'm exhausted just from watching the tennis.#also i missed you guys and my tumblr dash this week but there was just absolutely no time#looking forward to catching up a bit during the next week hopefully :)#signing off now because i need to be up again in a few hours for my journey back...#really bad timing to put these finals at the busiest time of the year for me. can we change that? :D
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lol working on vent art but I don't even know if I can get it done before i have to go to bed for work tomorrow -_- And tomorrow is arguably the worst day to work for me (canada day) bc something bad always happens and it feels like half of Toronto comes to our store location bc we're open while they all have the day off :) and on top of that I was given a long shift. I'm very bummed out rn.
#blabbering#can't even get vent art done for myself before going back to the grind. I feel so defeated.#i'm just so lonely rn and I haven't had anyone to talk to for days. My thoughts are bad and I need to not be alone with them.#depresso and shark week combo with only 2 days off before hell again AND didn't even wake up rested both days#at least the headache went away early enough; but still#don't even feel like i have anything to look forward to these days so that's just another layer of the soul crushing feeling#all i have is work and home and silence and work and home and silence
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my birthday's on a workday again this year ough what if i take it off,,,,,
#i can't bc of the bigass comm i have that's ognna take up most of the month and i doubt i'll be finished even by then but#what if#do at least that one lil nice thing for myself since i never get to actually DO anything for my birthday#my birthday historically doesn't go super well so i don't look forward to it but what if i just take the day off and buy myself snacks#and read the odyssey again
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Still no craft updates on account of I feel Bad* but I did get like half a beanie crocheted this weekend? I also have a bat that's haunting me. In that there's a bat design I desperately want to turn into a plushie not in that I am being literally haunted by a bat. As far as I know I am not haunted by a bat but to be fair I'm not confident I'd know? *my heart rate got high enough that made me cough but my asthma was flaring up enough that cough launched me into an asthma attack, which raised my heart rate even more, so basically I used my emergency inhaler and then was on the floor for a while. Feels bad! Do not recommend. I'm okay though just tired
#the person behind the yarn#the reason my heart rate got that high is that my pulse pressure was very narrow#which is. you know. bad.#so I finally gave in and took an extra dose of my meds (as my doctor has advised in the past)#what is probably happening is that I reached the point of stressed where my body couldn't cope#(I'm on long term steroids so I need stress doses if I get too stressed)#but! because acute stress can trigger an allergic reaction (yay MCAS) I tend to kinda...shunt stress off to the side#and come back to process it when it's less like. urgent? immediate?#when it no longer feels like it will trigger an MCAS flareup if I acknowledge the feeling exists#and I do go back and process those emotions! I just have to get a little distance first#and the work stress lately has been so unrelenting (combined with the like...general world news stress)#that I have been ignoring my own stress levels so hard I genuinely did not think I was stressed#or that I needed a stress dose of my meds but uh. I was wrong!#I was wrong. Good news is now that I know I should be good in a day or two#doc said three days for stress doses and today was day one#bad news is narrow pulse pressure combined with asthma attack feels Very Bad!#very bad indeed took me like 20-30 minutes and two different kinds of medication before I could talk normally#without having to pause and catch my breath midsentence#every time I start thinking 'you know maybe I'm not really disabled maybe my health stuff is under control'#it pops up like a jack in the box like surprise! it's the same thing again still here! the meds just hide it most of the time#but it's still there :) lurking :) when I least expect it :)#...I think I might buy myself another sticker or two. something to look forward to coming in the mail
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#very strange to wake up to the news today that a well known and loved member of the settler community within my territory passed away last#night (he was 90). i didnt know him well but i liked him and a couple weeks ago spent probably about 5 days on/off interviewing him for work#and still am organizing the interview data for analysis. literally yesterday was relistening to the tapes and xchecking interview maps and#categorizing the data from him. and looking forward to seeing him again for follow up questions about some of the holes in the data#just about to sit down and continue working on the same work. its strange#the notes to ask him again for clarification i've got to change and its just. information thats gone now#bizarre.#billy i hope wherever you are now the ocean is once again silver with salmon like you told me it used to be#im glad to have spent those few days with you even if you joked about it being an interrogation and then i heard from everyone else that you#actually really enjoyed it.
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I work so much now that ever since i took a promotion the majority of my dreams have just been about being at work.
Ever since last year during the mass tornado outbreak I started having nightmares about tornadoes coming.
And some nights I have dreams where both happen.
I already was having trouble having dreams like I used to but now its just. this.
#last night was one of those nights :(#I don't wanna say last year's tornado event traumatized me#but it sure did something to me that fucked me up /#dont wanna say im traumatized bc i did not actually see any 'nadoes#i was just stuck at home while sirens were blasting for nearly an hour with emergency alerts going off /#while mom at work had the basement key so i couldnt go in2 the basement (house has 0 interior rooms)#and I spent the whole next 2 months aggressively checking the weather#and not sleeping well any time we were suppose to get thunderstorms#(also also this year waking up to sirens going off on my bday at 5am. doesnt help.)#and then they went off the other day when i got home...#the weather patterns this year are suppose to have terrible outbreaks in the summer#like the super outbreak kind. the kind that spawns ef5s and big ones like el reno /#so im... not looking forward to this year at all (note i do not live in the midwest. i live in appalachia) /#(and not the k3ntucky/t3nnessee. where i live we're suppose to average at 1-2 nadoes a year at most) /#i miss xigbar man i just wanna see him in my dreams again. /#but no i just dream about fucking work and being terrorized by the weather now
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I may be struggling to exist rn but at least I'm a handsome dyke
#s.txt#d slur#i have two more days off and even still i am dreading going back to work#6 more weeks... 6 more weeks...#idk what im doing after that and km kinda scared to be unemployed again but. i need Out#also i just have like nothing to look forward to which makes it hard to distract my brain at work
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one of my coworkers has covid so now basically most of the staff has been exposed and i swear to god i better not get it
#i don’t want to have to take time off work bc of being sick#also on wednesday there’s another dog graduation for the organization i raise for#and i am really looking forward to it so i cannot be sick ill be so sad if i can’t go#also everyone at work is stressed bc again most of us have seen the sick coworker recently#so there is a chance there will be like no closing staff available if people get sick#so we’ll see what happens there#the only thing worse than having to miss work for being sick will be dealing with being understaffed bc other people are sick#also if i do test positive i better actually have symptoms#bc i know current guidelines say asymptomatic doesn’t need to isolate#but i still will for a few days#but i will be mad if i can’t do things but am not actually sick
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hey yall! thought id give you a lil update on this blog
now i dont wanna lay my entire life story on yall, but ive had a lot goin on recently. nothing major, so dont worry! but im gonna need a bit of time to rectify things irl to get everything back on track here
this isnt to say im leaving! ill be lurking and ill reblog my favourite snippets over at @rainey-day-reads as always, but i think the well of creativity is a lil dry atm. im sure some of you have seen my endless tags saying how im burnt out, but i think ive finally hit the Ultimate Burnout lmao
i just need a lil time to recuperate without the worry of making sure you guys have a story. its not fair on yall to read rushed trash cause i wanted to get something out on schedule, and its not fair on my mental health to stress about that kinda stuff. i dont help myself cause i made a schedule that literally no one was holding me to but my brain likes to keep things on time so here we are lmao
this post is gettin long so ill keep it brief from here - i WILL be back when im in better shape!! keep your comments & requests coming, i will see them and ill get back to them as soon as i can!
i might change my 3-day schedule when i get back to just post whenever i write something too - so you guys still get top quality writing and my brain gets to chill tf out for once lmao
i LOVE yall sm <3
- Raine :)
#not writing#long post#ive been putting this off for ages cause every time i think the queues gonna run out i have an idea just enough to keep it going#and idk why i was doing that cause again. no one was holding me to this schedule lmao#but yea. still love yall and i PROMISE ill be back#i love writing and i love writing for you guys so once i kick lifes ASS and whoop burnout in NEXT WEEK i will randomly reappear one day#i look forward to that day#but send requests and ill write em when i can!! if you send non-writing asks ill try and reply to em soon as!! im still alive!!!
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ayyy
#winter holidays ^^#i need this#i will finally have some time to do things i enjoy and see people again 🥹#normally i'm always a bit sad almost when uni ends because i'll miss it#the rhythm of it and all the classes there and people#not that i don't like the winter break#well this year i'm more glad than sad i still like uni but i'm just sick of telling people off bc i have no time#and also i miss some of the people i had classes with last year and also my sleep schedule is sooo bad#i'm so looking forward to sleeping like a normal person again#i will still have to study for exams (and also train) but i will try to fill my time with things i enjoy#like playing tennis 😍 i would play everyday honestly if i could#and i want to catch up with friends from uni i just hope they#*they're still in the city during the holidays bc often that happens that no one is there anymore 😅#but on monday i still have uni football but without the uni 😂 it will be a relaxing and fun day and i will buy some christmas gifts :))#altough now i'm on the way home to my parents and i will probably spend most of the time there#even though i like living in my uni city it can get lonely especially in winter and i realized i much prefer living with others#and right now my relationship with my parents is better than ever which makes me so happy 🥹 because it was rough sometimes when i was young#and i especially want to catch up woth that good friend of mine who left uni unfortunately 🥲 i will text him if we want to meet#anyways i also think i will feel better during the holidays being active and nature usually helps in winter#aaand it's only 2 more months until february and the days will get longer so i will get through this#honestly kinda sad but hey one day i plan on moving to a place with longer days and warmer weather hopefully that will help 😅#like i was so happy in summer i still remember ... like once spring comes around i operate in a good mood again#nevermind#rant
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i was gonna share my xenoblade thoughts the next day because i was full of them but very tired however it is the next day and i forgot how to thought
#dang 😔#i can try though ig#uhh spoilers below#ok first music very good#i have not done so yet but i like to sit down and listen to the whole soundtrack after finishing a game for the first time and i am looking#forward to that very much#anyways i love stories about death#heck yeah death and fear of change and regret and insecurity and hope and also flutes#the ending with the final boss in stuff was kinda giving me pmd vibes specifically gates and super#i love pmd so this is a very good thing#also i love when villains have some connection to theatre#the n and m thing was wack#like omg a guy named n oh huh he kinda looks like noah take off ur mask dude lemme see omg it is noah!! wow evil version of main character#wait is that mio#oh snap he isnt a version of me im a version of him born from his regret and the hope that he completely lost#very cool!#after the execution stuff and i added valdi back into my party because didnt have a hero in that because ghondor joined as my hero for a bit#and then left and i put him back in and i was like hey bestie how was ur day yeah mine was pretty good i just got locked up for a month and#just sitting there full of dread and anger and sadness as the clock was ticking towards death for the girl i love and i couldnt even be near#her during this and there was no hope of escape and then we were forced to watch her fade away before getting executed and i stood over my#body and looked down on it and i was taken to a place where i saw all my past lives and how me and the girl i love fell in love each time#but i always lost her until finally i did some horrific stuff and forced her into immortality with me never asking if she wanted this#because i stopped thinking of her as a person and more like a precious possession i need to keep in my grasp and our regret was so powerful#that we were born again through hope despite our other selves still living and then i decided to try again and the other mio stopped the#other me from killing me and plot twist they body swapped and the other mio died and the mio i know lived on with the other mios body and#then the other me got a lil too silly so we beat him up#so yeah my day was pretty good how was yours#like okay!!!!!!!!#great!!!!!!#ok i reached max tags bye
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hihi! I've become a huge fan of weeping rosemary, and would like to ask when you're releasing the full game! Aside from that, the game is beautiful and so interesting to me. It reminds me of a few other little rpgmaker games I've played, and it feels really polished and complete! Even if it's just a demo! The ending gave me chills, and I can't wait to find out more! I'll do my best to try supporting your project in the future when I have the financing to do so :)
SOBBING, HOLDING THIS ASK IN MY HANDS,,,, TYSM ANON!!!
I'm so happy that you feel that way about Weeping Rosemary, to see it reminds you of others is such an honor, since the demo was my first time making a game!
As for the release date of the full game!! I am still unsure, but I am going to estimate that it will probably be sometime next year!
Because the demo was very rushed, and now that I'm graduated from uni, I want to take this chance to really flesh out and give the game the detail I feel it deserves, so if life doesn't throw out any curveballs - I would ideally like for the game to be released in May, as a way to celebrate the demo, but it all depends on what happens, since I am working on this game by myself!
Until then, I will try and keep everyone updated on progress & everything! Thank you so much!!
#ask#my art#weeping rosemary the game#ophelia burrows#as for financial support please dw anon!!#just cheering me on and checking out the game means a lot!#and if you do ever feel compelled - i havent opened it up yet but i will have a small patreon that will show patrons monthly updates#people who cant afford it tho dw!! i will still post updates on my pages - but it will be small sneak peeks#but yeah!! i hope everyone looks forward to it!!#i've been working hard on making the all art & writing so i hope it pays off!#tysm anon again! it made my day seeing this!
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