#lorenz is just a lil bitch

[krazieka2]

Hazing.png

[bylaudelekha]

Not to complain about lorenz in ur inbox but it’s so FRUSTRATING CAUSE LIKE!! To some extent you understand his suspicion in white clouds because this rlly IS some dude who popped up out of nowhere, who won’t tell u a lot and is assuming leadership of the alliance in a few scant years. But in VW *ESPECIALLY* it makes no sense as to why lorenz still thinks like this!!! Claude has SHOWN with his ACTIONS how much he cares for the alliance, he openly confides in his friends, there’s literally no reason for lorenz not to examine his own suspicions and realise there’s a genuine measure of prejudice that founded them BUT WE DONT GET THAT 😭

YES THIS EXACTLY!!

sure, claude showed up out of fucking nowhere and the alliance nobility is supposed to accept that he is the grandson of oswald von reigan (? pretty sure that’s him? going off what i know and what the fandom wiki’s telling me haha), the then-duke of the leicester alliance. and that part makes sense! they would be sus of a foreigner because internalised racism i mean this dude that shows up outta nowhere, with no recorded history in fodlan

claude got his position as duke of the alliance when he was what? 19? and when byleth comes back, he’s 23! he’s lead the alliance for FOUR FUCKING YEARS.

lorenz stayed with count gloucester to help him! 

AND COUNT GLOUCESTER FOR ALL WE KNOW HAS GONE ALONG WITH CLAUDE’S PLAN TO STAY NEUTRAL AND GET RID OF THE IMPERIAL WAR FOR THOSE FOUR YEARS

LORENZ NOW KNOWS WHO CLAUDE IS (to an extent) AND WHAT HE IS PLANNING TO DO (also to an extent, my boy seems to stay pretty vague with this). SO WHY THE FUCK IS HE STILL INCREDIBLY SUSPICIOUS OF HIM? THEY’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER AND (most likely, don’t think they both would have gone along with this) HELPED EACH OTHER IN THE ALLIANCE’S AFFAIRS!

lorenz honestly could have been written a bit better post-timeskip, it feels incredibly weird and character-development-goes-unbrr for his prejudices to not be gone! well not gone but. slowly broken down as he realises that claude isn’t actually like that. and by the end of vw lorenz supports claude completely.

i wrote this with so much claude bias it hurts-

hffdj thanks for the ask tunes! honestly was fun to be able to scream about how lorenz’s character was pretty shit-written.

really fucking sucks that the racism i mentioned earlier is just. not. gone. BITCH YOU'VE HAD FIVE FUCKING YEARS TO CHANGE YOUR VIEWS BUT YOU DONT, DO YOU, YOU LIL SHIT?

[natural-greece-babe]

Myron (J.Farabee)

gif credits to the owner!

summary: fate somehow brings you to your high school ex’s old teammate in an unexpected way

warnings: mentions of sex, drugs, kidnapping, and swearing probably

wc: 800 exactly 😤

a/n: once again don’t take this seriously, es fir laffs luv x. thanks @yungbezzer for proofreading! this one’s for you 😎

ALSO SEND IN REQUESTS I’M LITERALLY BEGGING AT THIS POINT

—————————————————————————

Dating Alex your junior and senior year of high school was the biggest mistake of your life. Your friends told you that dating a hockey player would be bad for your mental health, but the D was too bomb to walk away. Like it was immaculate, *chefs kiss* even. The seggs overall was terrible though. Alex would always sneak to the Hughes’ kitchen and boil extra virgin coconut oil and pour it on you while it was still scalding. Who tf even does that?

You broke up with Alex when he cheated on you in LA with Paige Lorenze, who then cheated on him with Armie Hammer. Karma 😋.

Anyways you ended up moving to LA because that’s what every other influencer does and you posted shampoo ads to your 10,000 followers on your Instagram. You HAD to move. Some girl you met at the philosophy HQ got invited to a party at the hype house/tana’s house/clout gang house/FaZe house (whatever tf it is now idk) and she invited you too so you could seggs your way to the top, get famous off of whatever bf you had, and make millions off of the creator fund by shaking your ass.

You ended up meeting lil yachty at the party, and he later introduced you to the love of your life; Uzi. Sure, in reality he’s 5’4, but when he stands on his money he’s 6’6. You were in love with him, you knew it from the moment he gifted you the scarf he stole from JT. You didn’t care about the celibacy, or his height, or how he stole your clothes and gave them to his side chicks. You loved him almost as much as how svech lives having the windows open.

The same could not be said for Uzi though. He still loved Rihanna 😔🤚.

Uzi let you move in with him back in Philly a year after dating. He needed a break from LA and you were excited to get wooder ice and ride four wheelers everywhere. A bunch of SoundCloud rappers were throwing a concert in his honor the first night y’all came back, so ofc you got dragged to it. You didn’t want to go, who wants to listen to shitty SoundCloud rappers?The show was almost done and all of the acts were trash, so you decided to go to the bar and ordered a Pink Whitney. You were sooooo ready to get tf outta there, until you heard him.

You’re guessing his name was Young Beezer, because he was doing a cover of “Live Sheck Wes” and said “live young beezer bitch I’m dying young beezer” over and over again. It was the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard; you had WAP from the sound 🥲.

To your surprise, you turn around and see fucking Joel Farabee on stage. Your ex’s old teammate Joel Farabee. You got hella sussed out so you left.

A few weeks later you ran into him while four wheeling. Like literally ran into him. Your dumb ass literally t boned him (but you know what they, you’re either pretty or good at driving 😉).

He got out of his car and had this pissy ass look on his face until he saw you. “y/n! Oh my god it’s been ages! What have you been up to?” “Oh nothing much, just seggsing Uzi for clout.” “Oh you’re into rappers now? I always thought hockey guys were your type. Weird.”

This conversation could go two ways;

1) you could use daddy’s black American Express credit card to pay off the damages or

2) do what you do best and seggs your way out of it

“Well I’m more into rappers that play hockey, like yourself” you winked. Option 2 I is 😤.

Then literally he pulls a stick out of his trunk in 0.2 seconds and says “no one can know about my rap career bitch” and he SLAPS YOU UP THE SIDE OF YOUR HEAD WITH HIS STICK AND KNOCKS YOU TF OUT. YOU WERE LITERALLY NATE ROBINSON IN THAT BITCH.

You woke up the next day in someone’s basement with a bunch of blank CD’s and CD covers that looked like this:

And for the next year and a half, you burned his mixtape onto CD’s so his manager/Tracey/plug gritty could hand them out in his free time.

Gritty eventually got caught for punching a kindergartner in the face and the cops found you, along with 20 pounds of pure columbian cocaine when they searched the house. You thought you’d be happy to be released from your mixtape sweatshop, but you were pissed;

You could have been doing all that pow the whole time but you never knew it was there.

✨fin✨

Also Joel if you somehow see this I’m charging $100 for the cover art, message me for my cash app 😋

[floopsboopdedoops]

17, 18, and 19 for the FE3H asks please!

*sighs heavily* Welp, time to get destroyed for these....Please be kind to me, I have Opinions and am gonna ramble a lot oop ldkjfdlsk

17. Rank the Black Eagles from your favorite to least favorite. 1. FERDINAND VON AEGIR! My sunshine boy, I love him so much, he’s just such a delight. He’s just so endlessly optimistic and kind and I??? My heart??? Anyway I love he :) 2. Petra, somewhat surprisingly. I love that she’s doing her best to adjust when she’s functionally a political prisoner (because yeah, she is ;-;), and I want the best for her. and also she’s cute and i love her hair but that’s besides the point 3. Hubert! I mean, I run a blog for this guy, so I have to have him near the top lololol - I love this awkward broody boy, even if sometimes I wanna shake him and go YOU HAVE A LIFE OUTSIDE OF EDELGARD, JUST LET YOURSELF HAVE ONE 4. Dorothea! Absolute QUEEN both pre and post timeskip (even if my heart hurts for her post timeskip), I love her lots. I would happily watch her performances even if I have the attention span of a goldfish </3 5. Caspar! He’s very excitable and fun, and honestly I relate with the whole “I wanna fight EVERYTHING” mindset - even if I’m the biggest coward around LMAO 6. Bernie! I love her lots, and I wanna give her a hug, but Intsys...siiighs...The way she was handled could’ve been a lot better, yknow? 7. Linhardt’s...there. I used to like him a lot more, but now he sure is there. I do relate to the constant sleepiness though. 8. Edelgard...ohhhh Edelgard. I can’t really say I hate her, but she is Far from my favorite. It’s mostly her ideologies and actions that make me really dislike her, even if I can appreciate her as a character. Maybe I’ll go into it some other time, but I’ve rambled enough already.

18. Rank the Blue Lions from your favorite to least favorite. 1. DIMITRI MY BELOVED...I love my boy so much I want to give him the world and the happiness he deserves. My heart absolutely broke for him post timeskip, and I will never not be mad about his VW fate. NEVER. 2. Ashe!! Soft sunshine boy...I want to give him hugs n happiness and I love his supports so much ;w; 3. Dedue!! I jus...I jus want him to not have to constantly restrain himself and be able to express himself and share his culture....he’s such a good boyo... 4. Annette! Lil sunshine gal...I love her songs and how absolutely cheery she is! ...I would absolutely kill Gilbert for her 5. Felix! He’s one grumpy boyo, but I do love him - even if someone needs to get him to take anger management classes. Badly. Very Very Badly. 6. Mercedes! She’s so soft and nice...I love her lots. I kinda wish I had more to say, but I don’t unfortunately - I just love how soft n kind she is sdklfjkds. 7. Sylvain...I care him, but GOD does this boy need to drink his Respect Women juice. Badly. I do have a soft spot for him though, deep down. Even if I wanna strangle him sometimes KJDLFKJS 8. Ingrid....ohhhh Ingrid. I know you’re traumatized, and your dad’s a bitch, but like. You’re not that great. I’m sorry to Ingrid-lovers but I cannot tolerate her racism(or homophobia....or implied transphobia in the Japan version...) and that’s of the stuff I remember.

19. Rank the Golden Deer from your favorite to least favorite. 1. CLAUDE, OF COURSE CLAUDE IS NUMBER ONE. His route was the first one I picked, so of Course I have a soft spot already. And then he’s just?? This amazing boyo I wanna love and support forever??? Like hello that is my BOY, wanting to End Racism!! 2. RAPHAELLLL MY BOY!! He’s a goof and a himbo and he’s a very loveable goof and a himbo. He’s just so nice?? Like he might not use his brain often but by GOD does he use his heart and I love it. There isn’t enough Raphael love around here and I am very sad about it. 3. Marianne!! Boy do I just want to give this poor girl a HUG, she really deserves it. I just wanna tell her that she deserves love and support before giving her said love and support yknow sobs 4. Ignatz!! Anxious artist son...Even if sometimes I wanna shake him and tell him not to blame himself and to believe in himself more, I’m always following that up with giving him love and support because he deserves it ALWAYS. 5. Hilda! I love her lots, yknow? Shes vibing and I love her for it....Eeeeeven if her racist moments make me cringe. A lot. Like girl, please, think before you speak 6. Lysithea! I feel so bad for her, honestly? Her backstory just makes me hurt, and the fact that most of her ending cards seem to end with her dying early on?? Just um...her attitude in the Academy phase really, really irks me. She really needs therapy (like most of the kids in Fodlan in seems...). 7. Leonie...I’m sorry, I know she’s probably not that bad. In fact, she’s probably really good! Just...god does her B support with Byleth really kill whatever good feelings I might’ve had for her. I’m still trying to give her a second chance, just...the timing and what she says don’t help her at all. 8. Lorenz...I will concede that he’s much better post timeskip than he is during the Academy phase. But for the most part, his attitude during the Academy phase just got on my nerves to the nth degree. Also doesn’t help he’s got the weirdest face + haircut I ever did see KLJSDLFKJSDKLFJS

[givethemtums]

Best three houses and dangan characters?

Best 3H characters for me are def most of the blue lions boys. I love Dimitri with a passion. If I could marry him every route I would. I also love Slyvain and Felix. Claude also has a special place in my heart and same with Balthus and Yuri. Im not a big fan of the black eagles route but Ferdinand and Hubert are like top tier and I wish I could have Hubie in my other route playthroughs. I’m not rlly interested in chubbin up any of the 3H girls but I do love Hilda and Mercedes.

Basically name a 3H boy and I probably like him. Unless its Lorenz. He can choke with that ugly ass haircut.

As for danganronpa, I’m really in love with the second game because I’m a huge Nagito fan same with Hajime. I love the idea of Ibuki being a feeder to Twogami. I also love just normal DR1 Byakuya like he is a lil bitch that just needs to be stuffed to the brim to knock him down a peg.

[lady-byleth]

I’ve finally gotten around to replaying FE3H, and instead of finishing my Crimson Flower ng+ run like a good noodle, I decided to start another playthrough with GD. Something about their dynamic is just so magnetizing, and I love how all of them develop over the course of the game to become best buddies. Also unpopular opinion ig but to me, they’re the only group that really does a good job of making Byleth come off as a friend and equal, rather Than Just A professor. (1/?)

*hands you a megaphone* please never stop

And I get what you're saying. I think the thing is also that Claude is the only lord who's mental health issues don't end up playing a major part in the story

He has them, sure. Trust issues and a need to find every truth, but that's something he's got a pretty good grasp on. But Dimitri's personal arc revolves around Byleth trying her damndest to somehow nudge him back towards the light and Edie's has you trying to counterbalance her more extreme tendencies (or at least that's the intention but that is another story)

Additionally, Dimitri's trauma is linked to basically half his class and their mothers (or father's, rather). Felix, Ingrid, Ashe, Annette...all their troubles can somehow be traced back to him and you're suddenly thrown into a balancing act of trying to get those people to solve their shit while the Empire is knocking on the front door

Edie already has a problem with relationships and jumping to conclusions about things, plus most of the Eagles are eccentric enough that they don't click as well as they probably should. Individual relationships work fine but as a group they kind work like same poled magnets

But the Deer have the most equal ratio of nobility to commoners and are just eccentric enough to be chaotic without clashing

It starts with the lord's retainer already. Hubert and Dedue are basically constantly rolling out the red carpet for their boss while Hilda isn't above taking the rolled up thing and whacking Claude with it for being a fool

Felix's hostility stems from grief, fear and caring too deeply. Ferdinand wants to prove himself better than Edie at every turn. Both Dimitri and Edie just kinda shrug and deal with it in their own way. Lorenz is a lil bitch to Claude cuz he has valid criticism of his behavior and worries for the Alliance and Claude deals with that by a) being snarky and b) showing Lorenz he can do his job despite his apparent lack of trying

The Deer have much less on their plate vis a vis trauma and political risks so they have more of an opportunity to actually work through their interpersonal squabbles in a timely manner. They don't enforce distance and the story, which is for the most part told through exposition because of the way the game is structured, doesn't have to rely on the characters explaining a lot of stuff to move forward

That way it ends up being the least dialogue heavy while also getting the most done. They have the time to focus on the plot and leave the character development to the characters themselves.

That's not to say every other route is worse or badly written or anything, it's just with the game's format delving into Dimitri's backstory and emotional journey the way we watch the Deer develop organically through cutscenes...we'd need a route that's at least 5 times as long. So he does a lot of talking and explaining to make up for that

It's not bad, not in the least. Azure Moon is a very heavy and well written story, but it does work in Verdant Wind's favor.