#luigi WOULD and COULD instigate things

[multicolour-ink]

I feel it’s easy to overlook this one fact about Luigi:

He is just as impulsive and full of crazy dreams as Mario.

Who was the one who (presumably) came up with the commercial jingle?

Who was the one that asked “What do they know huh?” in an attempt to cheer up Mario after their father’s comment about their business venture?

Who was the one who had the idea to use a manhole cover against Bowser’s fire breath (despite how dangerous that was)?

The difference between the two bros is that Luigi doesn’t outwardly display his impetuous behaviour as much as Mario does; which is evidenced by the way Mario gets most of the blame put on him by the family for the whole business venture (Mario is the one choosing to stick up for the decisions they made), and accused of “dragging his brother down” by his own father.

So I don’t want to hear people claim Luigi just 'follows Mario around' and can’t think for himself. He is a grown man, and can make his own decisions. Luigi in all fairness can strike out on his own if he chooses. The two of them are different people after all.

But they choose to work together because they really are one. They may have different personalities, but they have practically the same passions, the same dreams. They encourage each other to follow those dreams: and they know they can achieve it better together.

[s-creations]

Shine and Reflect - Fanfic for 'The Super Mario Bros. Movie'

Mario was the older brother. It was his job to make sure he and Luigi were provided for. It was his job to keep Luigi safe.

It was his job to get Luigi back.

Fandom: Super Mario & Related Fandoms, The Super Mario Bros. Movie Rating: General Audience Audiences Relationships: Luigi & Mario (Nintendo) Warnings/Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Some fluff and mainly angst, Happy Ending, Happy Reunion, Spoilers for the 2023 Movie!, I need more warm brotherly moments, Mainly Mario's POV during the movie.

He wanted to state, for the record, to whatever higher powered being could possibly watching…

His father may have had a point.

Mario and Luigi were tight bonded brothers, twins, they did everything together. If Mario wanted to try something, Luigi would be close behind. 

Adults cooed about it when they were younger, saying how adorable it was that ‘Mario has a second shadow!’. In school, bullies called the younger brother ‘a leech’, claiming Mario wouldn’t get far because Luigi would drag him down. Now being adults themselves, people would worriedly ask if Luigi could do anything on his own. 

It really annoyed Mario.

Sure, he was the instigator for…a lot of things in their lives. But no one really understood how much Mario needed Luigi by his side. 

They were a team, they balanced each other out. Mario was head-strong, Luigi thought things through before acting. Mario was a man of few words but extremely social. Luigi was great with customers but didn’t like meeting new people for personal interactions. Mario was the Sun; warm, inviting, and bright. Luigi was the Moon; calm, comforting, and relaxed.

Where one went, the other followed.

It was just, more often than not, Mario was the one in the lead. 

Which, when he really thought about it, was why he and Luigi were in the situation they currently saw themselves in.

Mario was the one who knew, who was determined to show, they deserved better. He was the one who decided they needed to fix the problem to gain the spotlight they rightly deserved. He was the one who pulled his fearful brother along, pointedly ignoring Luigi’s comments of worry.

Mario was the one who let Luigi go.

He will never, ever, be able to forget that moment. How Luigi’s face had a hopeful smile, Mario doing his given duty as the older brother.

“As long as we’re together, nothing can hurt us!”

It was the last few seconds of comforting warmth he was able to provide. Because Mario was unprepared for a stronger force breaking them apart. His hold slipped, arms remained outstretched, unable to grab his brother again. Luigi’s face of fear and desperation the final thing Mario saw before his younger brother disappeared into a dark pipe. 

Mario turned his fear into action the moment he touched down in the Mushroom Kingdom. Going from Toad to Princess Peach in order to get help with his endeavor. 

Someone, anyone, he didn’t really care who it was!

Even with Peach saying she was going to face Bowser, the creature who could have taken his brother at this point, Mario jumped at this. 

“Well, take me with you!” He quickly requested.

Peach frowned softly at that. “Bowser’s a lunatic. A psycho. He will eat you for breakfast.”

Mario doubted enough time or words could be granted to tell her how much he didn’t care about the clear danger. “I don’t care. I’m going to get my brother back and you’re going to help me. …Please?”

The conversation didn’t really turn out as he had expected. Mario was able to come along, but…

“You have to reach the flagpole before the sun comes up tomorrow morning. Otherwise, I can’t let you come with me.” Peach bargained. 

“Wait, what? Beat this entire thing?” Mario felt his plateaued panic start to rise.

“You can’t make it to Bowser if something else gets to you first,” the princess argued, “This world is dangerous, you have to be able to defend yourself against it. I can’t keep an eye on you and face Bowser. If you can’t beat this, you can’t come. Bottom line.”

Mario felt his heart sink, turning back to the obstacle course. Dreaded Power-Up Mushroom weighing heavily in his hands.

He understood the reason. It was a good one to be honest. But this was for Luigi, to get his brother back. Mario had been set and determined to get him back in anyway. But he was not expecting this to be his first major obstacle…literally.

It didn’t matter.

Mario let out a huff, steeling his nerves, and swallowed the horrid mushroom down. The weird burst of adrenaline rushing through him.

He was doing this for Luigi.

Mario winced as a misjump caused him to bash his head into a brick block. The power disappearing.

He was doing this for Luigi.

The red foam balls, which were supposed to represent fireballs apparently, were a lot harder than Mario expected. Launched him back into a few glowing, unmoving yellow blocks. 

He was doing this for Luigi. 

The fake Bullet Bill, also made from the hardened foam, were to numerous to dodge and remain on the platform. As well as fast. Causing Mario to be knocked off the narrow pathway and flown back to the starting point. 

He was doing this for Luigi.

Cheep Cheeps were terrible little fish.

He was doing this for Luigi.

Peach had fallen asleep when the moon had passed the middle of the sky. Around Mario’s 64th attempt at the course. Now having to call the Mushrooms on his own. He could tell his body was heavily battered and bruised. He could tell he was exhausted. But he was not going to give up. He couldn’t give up. He was going to go out and find Luigi.

Mario was about to ingest another Mushroom when something caught his eye. The platform was suddenly a lot brighter than before. There was a new source of light.

The sun was starting to rise.

Morning was coming.

He was running out of time.

His stomach was churning, and it was not because of the Mushrooms this time.

This was officially his last shot to prove that he could handle what was thrown at him.

Mario faced the course again. Heart hammering in fear at thinking he would have to sit and wait.

Wait in worry and fear. Wonder if Peach was successful. Wonder if she had been able to find Luigi. To hope and pray that Luigi was…

He changed tactics. Mario realized what he’d been doing wrong this entire time. He was trying to copy what he’d seen Peach do. Same path, same action, everything. However, it clearly wasn’t working for him.

So, he rethought everything.

Mario was slower when dealing with the Piranha Plants. Waiting for the first to disappear into the pipe completely, jumping onto the second when it had just started to pop up, and soaring over the last one. He outright avoided the firewheels. Dropping down below, deciding that smashing the brick blocks would be easier.

Mario was now the furthest he’d even been. 

He picked up speed.

The long pathway rose up before reaching an end and Mario jumped off. Eyes narrowing as he closed in on the Bowser cut out. Getting great satisfaction in breaking it to pieces. 

Now it was a quick focus to change his position, remaining upright as the pathway started to fall away. Facing the true barrage of fake Bullet Bills. Clenching his jaws, Mario leapt onto the first one.

Second.

Third.

Added a flip before landing on the fourth.

Fifth.

Mario was almost there. The end was finally within reach. One final jump and he was flying to the flagpole. A gasp of surprise called Mario’s attention to Peach, who had woken up at some point. Eyes wide with her own amazement at how close Mario was. He flashed a smile, feeling amazing, he couldn't believe that-

Piranha Plant teeth, even fake, hurt. A lot.

The situation felt worse as he was spat out onto the starting point. Mario resting at the foot of the flagpole. Peach letting out a small hiss of sympathetic understanding.

Well…crud.

Mario groaned as he got onto his hands and knees. Worry filled eyes going from the flagpole, to Peach, before lowering them again.

He failed.

This was his last chance to prove he could do this. To follow along to find his brother. But he couldn’t do it. Shining eyes peered up slightly when a gloved hand entered his vision. Weakly taking it, not fighting as he was pulled onto his feet. Unable to look at Peach again.

“Well…we have a long journey ahead of us. I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it.”

That caught Mario’s attention. Head snapping up to finally look at Peach in absolute surprise. “...But I didn’t make it.”

She smiled back softly. Taking hold of Mario’s hand once more, lifting it up to touch the bottom of the pole. A triumphant jingle sounding.

“Looks like to me, you did.”

Even as Peach pulled away, Mario’s hand remained. Still in a little shock. “...But I got hit.”

“I just requested that you get to the end. Power-Ups help. It’s not a deciding factor.”

Mario felt hope swell in his heart, eyes widening. “Does this mean that I can come with you?”

Yes.

Yes, he could.

Mario was already aware the place was different from Earth. But he just wasn’t aware of how vastly different it was. 

While Warp Pipes were able to get them to the outskirts of the city, the majority of the journey was spent walking. When asked, Peach did say this world did have vehicles (carts, not cars). But that the Mushroom Kingdom didn’t have access to the needed tools or power to create them. So traveling said way was a no-go.

They passed through green valleys with cannons just out in the open and walking, talking bombs that were happy to offer directions. Across a long bridge that had Cheep Cheeps jumping up and over them (sometimes). Over towering mountains that offered an amazing view of the world around them. The family phrase of amazement falling from Mario’s mouth.

“I’ll never let anything happen to this place.” Peach replied softly.

“Yeah…” While the view was amazing, something nagged in the back of his mind.

Luigi would have loved this…but he wasn’t here.

The amazement of it all, while still impressive, was dulled in remembering why this was happening.

“Are you thinking about your brother?”

Mario was broken from his thoughts hearing Peach's question. His cap was in hand, sitting on the smooth and rather comfortable rock as the fire was built before him.

He was still in a bit of a numb daze when he replied, “We’ve never been apart this long.”

It was the painful truth that seemed to sting worse saying it aloud. They had been at each other’s side since they’d been born. 

And now…

Mario was pulled from his thoughts again. This time by a bowl of mixed, cooked vegetables. Minus the mushrooms. Looking up further over to see it was Toad who was offering said food with a wide smile.

He took the offered bowl with a weak smile of his own. Perking up a little tasting the number of spices being used, the vegetables themselves packed full of flavor as well.

“This is really good.”

Toad beamed. “Nothing but the best for my best friend.”

Mario good naturedly shook his head before taking another bite. His mouth was happy with the flavors and his stomach rumbled in contentment for getting food.

.

.

.

Was Luigi getting fed?

His last meal would have been from the night before. And even then, Mario didn’t see Luigi actually eat something. Either blocked by one of their uncles or from Mario pulling him away.

If Bowser was as terrible as Peach warned, would he even care that someone needed to eat?

What was Luigi even going through right now?

Was he okay?

Had he been captured or was he now just lost in the Dark Lands?

Would Mario be able to find him?

Or will Luigi’s terrified face as he was pulled away be the last memory Mario would ever have of him?

“Mario.”

The bowl of food was gently pulled from his hand. Mario realized his vision was extremely blurry. His breathing harsh and heavy, his cheeks wet. He immediately pulled his hat over his eyes. His other hand, still holding onto the spoon, pressed against the side of his temple. Teeth clenched together in an attempt to keep himself quiet.

An arm was gently wrapped around his shoulders. While someone fully leaned into Mario, small arms wrapped around him in a tiny hug. 

“You’re okay,” Peach whispered gently, “You can let it out.”

“Don’t be quiet, it won’t help.” Toad’s voice, while still as gentle, sounded a little squished. 

Mario let out a harsh, shaky sob before admitting, “I-It’s my fault… I-It was m-my stupid i-idea to f-fix the s-system. I wanted to prove t-to my dad that I could d-do something right…”

“Mario…”

“And then I l-let him go!” Mario’s outburst caused him to get the sudden burst of energy to stand. Hat off so he could run a hand through his hair. “I had Luigi! I h-had him right there! I told him we were going to be fine, w-we just had to stick together…and I l-let him go… And n-now he’s either lost in the Dark Lands or trapped b-by Bowser…”

He froze when hands gripped his shoulders. Tightly, but not painfully. Just enough to ground him and make him better aware of his surroundings. 

Peach was staring down at him with a stern look. “This is not your fault.”

“...I…But-”

“You thought you knew what you were doing. That you were doing something good. You could have never predicted that any of this would happen. You did what you could and now is the time to move forward. We are going to find him, and he’s going to be fine.”

Mario couldn’t verbally reply, feeling as if his throat was closed up. Only nodding slowly.

Peach calmed her features, loosening her grip but didn’t let go. “Give yourself the chance to grieve. I won’t deny you that, I think you need it. But don’t let those thoughts win.”

Mario let out a slow breath, eyes squeezed shut as he nodded again. “Right…thank you.”

Meeting Cranky Kong was interesting.

Mario was super confused how anyone who had to look after so many people could seem so uninterested about the increasing danger. Even more so confused about denying the chance to put a stop to it all. If this was Mario’s best chance to get Luigi back, he was not going to lose it.

Puffing out his chest, Mario stepped forward and determinedly said, “We’re not leaving without your army.”

That…did not go as intended.

Cranky was only ‘impressed’ because he found Mario as a joke. Amused enough to claim Peach could have his army, if Mario could beat the crazy king’s son in some kind of battle. Peach attempted to quickly convey how terrible of an idea this was for Mario to partake in. But the human was not going to be deterred. 

“You, sir, have a deal! I’ll beat your son and win your army.”

Cranky Kong merely gave a condescending smirk. “I’m sure you will.”

Oh, this was not fun.

Spike had been the biggest pain in Mario’s side when he was on Earth.

Donkey Kong was, somehow, so much worse.

Mario could only describe the giant ape as the entitled child who either used dad’s name, money, or muscle to get what he wanted. Loud and annoyingly boisterous. DK was getting on Mario’s last nerve and he’d only just met the ape. 

The problem came when DK had the words and the muscle to get the job done. Mario was beaten for only 30 seconds and the human felt as if his entire form was vibrating. Feeling as if he was going to fall apart at any second. 

His first few attempts to get Power-Ups didn’t end well. Either grabbing a Blue Mushroom that made him smaller (seriously, who would want that!?) or with DK blowing out the Fire Flower, turning it to ash. Barely getting a moment to recover as each of DK’s hits landed hard. 

Pulled up by the front of his shirt, Mario winced as warm breath washed over him.

“Had enough yet?” DK smirked, knowing he’d done enough damage to make anyone weak in the knees.

Truthfully, Mario felt every fiber of his being screaming pain. He’d never hurt so severely before. He’d never been beaten so soundly before. It even hurt to breathe. 

That didn’t matter to him.

It wasn’t about him or the amount of pain he was in.

It was about winning so they could have the army.

It was making sure they could take Bowser down.

It was about Luigi.

It was about getting his brother back.

“Not…even…close.” Mario growled back.

Okay, that last punch knocked him a little silly…

Victory arrived when Mario claimed the Cat Suit Power-Up. A little embarrassed at first. Even more so when his heightened hearing caught Toad’s and Peach’s comment about how ‘adorable’ he looked.

Luigi would have definitely gotten a kick out of this.

Even with the amount of laughter thrown at him, Mario got a leg up easily. Realizing that he had all the natural abilities of a cat, times 10. It was weird at first, if he was being honest. His body wasn’t used to moving like this. But it only took a few seconds to get used to it.

This. Was. Amazing!

Mario had never thought he could ever move this fast. He hits hard. He threw a barrel like it was nothing! It was like he knew what was coming next and could dodge it easily. He zipped around like it was so natural and he had claws. This was weirdly addicting.

DK was down faster than Mario expected. The large ape tried to pull off Mario’s previously said words, but couldn’t back it up. Collapsing the next moment.

Mario had won.

They got the Kong Army.

They were going to get Luigi back.

It was all going so well. They had a plan and the numbers. Mario was starting to feel a bit of a connection being formed between him and Peach. His turtle comment had caused her to laugh softly, knowing his cheeks were starting to flush. Even DK’s teasing about him ‘flirting’ couldn’t bring him down.

What could bring him down was a blue-shelled Koopa. Who’s extreme trait of not giving up apparently meant exploding. The colorful road shattering below the cart DK and Mario were on. The human feeling his stomach disappeared as he freefalled into the dark void below them.

The void turned into a seemingly endless ocean that turned out to be the home of a giant eel. Which ate the ape and human up easily. 

Mario was officially the lowest he’d ever been. Trapped, about to be digested, with no way out, and with a being who clearly hated him.

He couldn’t get out.

He wouldn’t be able to get back to Luigi.

He’s never going to see his brother again.

The swallowed cart had been a blessing Mario wasn’t expecting. But he also wasn’t about to complain. The cart’s rocket made for a very short, if not shaky, trip to the Mushroom Kingdom. Where they were shot down by a Bullet Bill.

The landing was rough. But put them in a perfect position given that they were right where the underlings were collecting the Power Blocks.

Mario, looking over to DK, asked with a smirk, “You wanna do this?”

It took a few seconds for the ape to understand. A wide smile finally forming. “Yes I do.”

Honestly, they made a pretty good team. Not as good as Mario and Luigi. But a decent team nonetheless.

The latest Power-Up was another fuzzy suit. Not a Cat Power-Up, but a weird mix between the bear and raccoon. Mario had barely asked his question of “Hey, what does this-” before he was flying. The striped tail whirls like a helicopter, allowing for height and speed.

“Hey, cool raccoon suit!” DK called out as they climbed up one of the long chains.

“Really?”

“Not at all!”

Of course.

“Alright, listen up,” DK continued, “I’m making a guess that blue light is Peach with a Power-Up. She can handle herself. But if Bowser’s gonna be Bowser, he’s gonna have prisoners here.”

Prisoners. Luigi.

“So we focus on getting them free and safe?” Mario replied.

“You got it!”

When they reached the top, Mario felt his heart sink. There were prisoners, a lot of them. All currently being lowered into the large lake of lava. It was so bright, air warped from the heat, that Mario couldn’t see any specific details from the people inside said cages.

Or even specific colors. 

“You try and get the cages back up!” Mario called out. 

DK nodded, “And you stay below, just in case!”

The human was off without a second thought. Even with the closing distance, it was hard to still see who was who. Thankfully, from what Mario could see, DK got up to the gears faster than the human expected and started bringing the cages back up. It looked as if none of the cages had entered the lava yet…

The prisoners let out cries of joy. Except for a blue star creature, who let out a low ‘Boo’. Even then, Mario still couldn’t relax. Flitting from cage to cage. Looking everywhere for some flash of green. He just needed a-

Mario felt his heart stop. 

A good distance away, almost on the complete opposite side from where Mario was currently hovering, hanging from a mostly melted cage, was Luigi. The younger brother desperately kicked his legs as he tried to climb to the very top of the cage.

Mario was off. Eyes only narrowed on Luigi as he pushed forward. Fear rose as his brother suddenly slipped from the cage. He had no clue how he could pick up speed in this suit. He just desperately willed himself to go faster. 

He was so close, but Luigi seemed to be falling faster towards the lava. 

Mario stretched his arms out, whining softly as he just chanted please, please, please in his head.

Mario’s hands wrapped around Luigi’s left wrist the moment he made contact. The younger brother letting out a yelp of surprise at the sudden change of directions. His other hand quickly reached up to grab at Mario’s arm. Eyes still on the lava below them.

“Lu!” Mario called out.

That seemed to break Luigi free from whatever stupor he was stuck in. Head turning quickly, eyes widening further upon seeing it was his brother carrying him.

“Mario?” Luigi cried with shock.

Heart soaring with absolute joy, Mario couldn't help but let out a laugh. Rising up with Luigi in tow. Both landing a little bumpy, Luigi even throwing in a flip, before they stilled on the rock ground.

It was really only a few seconds that they remained frozen. But it felt like hours. Days. Mario taking in every inch of his brother. Luig was a little shaky. No doubt still trying to calm down from the near death experience. He was both, somehow, extremely pale and extremely flushed. Patches of red spots on his forehead and cheeks. Hair and clothing were ragged, his upper lip looking raw for some reason. His left sleeve torn and scratches clearly seen on his skin.

But he was alive.

Luigi was alive and Mario had found him.

The older brother felt so close to crying. Moving before he could fully break and crumble to the ground.

Mario immediately pulled his brother close. Wrapping his arms (and tail) as tightly as he could around Luigi. The younger brother, while his grip was lax, was still as desperate to get as close as he could to his brother. 

It was a dream.

A wonderful, amazing dream.

So unbelievable in fact that Mario pulled back slightly to make sure Luigi was in front of him. Cupping Luigi’s face, thumb running over his cheeks, before one hand slid down to grip his shoulder. The other gently grabbed the back of Luigi’s head. Their foreheads pressed together. Both still clearly taking in the fact they were together again.

Mario found him.

He finally found Luigi.

After worrying.

Panicking.

They were together again.

Mario found Luigi.

Mario caught Luigi.

Luigi was safe.

“See, I told you,” Mario choked out, “As long as we’re together, everything will be okay.”

Luigi merely nodded before burying himself back into the crook of Mario’s shoulder. Mario having no issues with holding his brother close again.

Too bad the moment ended far sooner than Mario would have liked.

Bowser (who Mario had not seen when landing) had broken free from his ice prison. In a last desperate attempt to win, the Koopa announced for the Mushroom Kingdom to be bombed.

Panicked with a slight bit of annoyance mixed in, Mario took off again.

Guess he wasn’t quite finished with this.

The plan to get rid of the Bomber Bill was really made on the fly. Mario was hopeful that the weird in between space could contain the expelled energy. Which he was right. 

Partially.

Because the next thing Mario knew, there was a heavy pulse of energy, followed by a strong suction that started pulling everything towards the Warp Pipe. And he meant everything. Large mushrooms, buildings, even Bowser’s ship. Mario fought against it for as long as he could. But he was soon flying through the air towards said pipe.

Swearing he could hear Luigi call out ‘Mario!’ even over the roar of the wind.

Being back in Brooklyn felt so strange. It seemed dull in comparison to the vivid colors the Mushroom Kingdom had. Mario was almost uncaring at the work truck that almost ran into him. Even more unconcerned when Spike climbed out.

The quiet early morning was interrupted when Bowser’s fortress suddenly burst out from the sewer system. Mario and the surrounding civilians running off while trying to avoid the falling debris. The older brother, thankfully, even with a rather nasty spill, wasn’t further hurt. 

Letting out a grunt as he sat up, Mario’s attention being directed to a heavy but low hum. Eyes widening upon seeing a large, glowing star hovering a few inches off the ground was only a few feet away from where Mario sat. 

“Is that…” Mario whispered to himself, leaning forward slightly.

The amazement of it all was quickly shattered when a deep, rage filled voice shouted out “MARIO!”

Climbing out from the rubble of the fortress was the hulking form of Bowser. His red eyes glowing brightly, standing out further from his shadowed form. 

Mario was up on his feet, heart hammering as he ran forward. Eyes on the glowing star. Knowing it was going to be his best bet to end this. 

Only for Bowser to block his way, eyes narrowing as Mario came to a short stop.

There was no warning before Mario’s wrist was grabbed and he was easily lifted off the ground. His mind going completely blank as Bowser stared him down with absolute fury. Telling himself to slowly that Bowser was about to hit him. Barely able to get his other arm up to even partially block said attack.

Mario’s stomach swooped sickeningly as he flew back. Only stopping when his back hit the closest car. The windshield shattered from impact.

“You ruined everything!” Bowser roared, lifting a boulder and throwing it easily towards Mario. Who quickly got out of the way. Another near miss. “I was finally going to be happy!”

Mario was grabbed again, by his ankle now, and flung into another car. Barely getting a second to breath before he was forced to roll off said car as Bowser grabbed the trunk. The human scrambled backwards, only to run into another vehicle.

“Now I’m going to make you suffer! Just. Like. Me.”

Mario rolled away and ran off, not looking back hearing the car crash into the ground. His mind screaming at him to get away. He wouldn’t be able to fight like this. DK just wanted to show off. Bowser wanted to kill him. He needed to find a Power-Up or something. Where was Peach, he’d even take DK’s help!

Where was Lui-

Something connected to his side, hard. He was sent flying once more. Through the window of the Punch Out Pizzeria restaurant and right into the brick wall. Mario unable to block his face from hitting the ground hard. Nose making impact first. He let out a small whine as he tried to sit up.

A low growl warned Mario that Bowser was right outside.

Letting out a panicked cry, Mario crawled his way over to the booths. Pressing his back into the padded seating as his heart hammered furiously.

“Was that it, that was the best that you could do! You are absolutely worthless,” Bowser growled out, “Come out and fight! …Or are you too much of a coward.”

He couldn’t do it.

Mario slumped back, closing his eyes tightly as the heavy throbbing seemed to take over his body.

He couldn’t move.

Mario winced hearing Bowser roar, the human shrinking away from the front door as best he could.

He knew the danger was still out there. But nothing seemed to want to work.

He couldn’t be the hero he briefly thought he was. His head strong nature was flickering out.

The fog of self-doubt was lifted slightly when the TV screen before him flickered to life. He received a jolt of comfort when the brother’s self-made commercial popped up. Laughing softly hearing his heavily accented voice. A gentle smile formed as he watched his recorded self and brother beaming at the camera. Acting out their lines happily. Joyous in knowing they were starting a new chapter in their life, together.

The screen flickered, the last image of him and Luigi standing side by side. Mario’s arm wrapped around his younger brother’s shoulder. 

Both smiling wide.

Mario remembered his cheeks hurting so much after that shot. 

But incredibly happy.

The screen flickers off. Leaving the area dark. Mario’s own weak smile fell away when the area next to him was empty. A negative reflection of what was just on screen.

Mario frowned in thought. 

This whole journey was about getting Luigi back. About making sure his brother was safe and right by his side. Back on the floating fortress, Mario thought he’d finally done it. But it was clear he wasn’t. Because he knew, as long as Bowser was still around, as well as his army still standing, Luigi wasn’t going to be safe. 

Mario wouldn’t be done until that Koopa finally went down.

Steeling his nerves once more, with his body screaming for sleep, Mario stood up onto shaky legs. Adjusting his cap as he stumbled his way towards the exit. Face set in a determined frown. 

“Alright… Let’s-a go.”

He winced as he stepped out into the sunlight. The neighborhood street looking absolutely destroyed by the current situation. Toad and Peach were currently being held back by members of Bowser’s army. The Koopa himself currently taking great pleasure in beating around an already senseless DK.

Ignoring his throbbing ankle, Mario stood confidently before shouting out, “Hey!”

That easily caught the Koopa’s attention. Lowering his arm that had been in mid-swing to glare at the human. 

“You just don’t know when to quit, do you.” Bowser growled out.

Mario merely smirked. Rubbing his sore shoulder before raising his fists up to fight. “Guess I don’t.”

“Mario!” Peach’s voice suddenly rang out. The human unable to look at her before something shimmering when soaring over him. “Get the Star!”

“No, that’s mine!” Bowser roared.

But Mario was already off. Running as fast as his legs could carry him. Trying to ignore how the ground shook underneath his feet as Bowser charged after. Even with the Koopa being in better health, Mario was by far faster. Said human unable to stop himself from leaning forward as he closed in on the Star.

Celebration was short-lived as Mario realized the temperature was rising. Too late to understand what was happening and avoid the stream of fire being sent his way. He instinctively raised his hands as the fire only drew closer. A foot unfortunately contacting with a broken part of the street and he fell.

This was it.

There was no way he was going to avoid this. 

This was their last chance to stop Bowser and it all was going to end with him being burnt to a crisp.

Mario closed his eyes and turned away. He didn’t want his last sight to be the approaching wall of fire.

…Except it never came. 

When he wasn’t immediately cooked alive, Mario dared to peek.

Silhouetted by a ring of fire created by the manhole cover blocking it, was Luigi. The younger brother clearly using every ounce of strength he had to keep the fire at bay.

“Lu…” Mario whispered in amazement. 

It was amazing to watch. The younger brother Mario had sworn to always protect. Who he defended and kept the bullies away from. Was now giving it his all to keep Mario safe.

Grunting against the strain, Luigi shifted into a better position. Eyes opening with a look of determination as he peered over to his brother. 

“Nothing can hurt us, as long as we’re together, right?”

Mario nodded slowly to Luigi’s statement.

That’s what he was missing. Mario knew he always needed Luigi. But he thought it was just to know where Luigi was and to keep him safe. If he knew his younger brother was out of harm's way, Mario could take on anyone. 

That was never the case though. He didn’t need Luigi just by his side. He needed Luigi fighting by his side. Mario was the driving force. But Luigi kept the momentum going. Mario would not be where he was if Luigi had not been at his side. Acting as his equal.

Mario couldn’t stop Bowser alone. 

But with Luigi, that Koopa wouldn’t stand a chance.

Holding out his hand, Mario gave his brother a sharp nod. Luigi responded in kind. Grabbing hold of the offered hand tightly. As Luigi was pulled forward, the manhole cover fell away, both brothers pushing off the ground fast and hard. Able to ignore the fire as they each wrapped a hand around the glowing star.

Peach sighed softly, eyes staring up at the dark ceiling above her. 

The day had ended with them winning. It had been a spectacular display of the Power Star’s ability by the brothers. While Peach had heard and read about how amazing it was, seeing it in person, in action, was so different. All of it cultivating in Bowser being defeated and his army fleeing.

Hopefully back to their world. But with the Warp Pipe blocked by Bowser’s fortress, it’s not likely. They probably just scattered to anywhere that was not the battlefield the moment they could. Peach groaned softly, knowing it was yet another thing to add to her every growing list of duties.

When the celebration of victory had died down, the first issues were the brothers. Mario had been beaten black and blue. Luigi closed to passing out due to dehydration. Both pushed to the edge of exhaustion. The Power Star’s energy was not enough to sustain them any further. 

When they were taken away, parents following them close behind, Peach put on her best political face. Asking for the current highest ranking individual in the area. Which turned out to be someone carrying the title of ‘Head Chef’ for the ‘Brooklyn Police Department’. Too many words, in Peach’s opinion. Head Knight or Captain would have worked just fine.

She was only a few words in when the mayor arrived. With a fanfare of flashing lights and a lot of loud voices asking a lot of questions. 

Who are you?

Where are you from?

Do you think you’ll be able to, in any way, be able to explain what happened here?

Peach felt as if her throat was on fire by the end of the day. 

Relief came in the form of Mario’s mother, who slipped between the two officials with a warm but firm smile. 

“Mayor Pauline,” she said calmly, “While I respect your want to learn about everything that’s been happening, now may not be the best time. Maybe helping with the clear up and restoration to our neighborhood”

“Of…course. But I would like to advise that-”

“Ms. Peach and her guests are more than welcome to stay with me for the time being. And we’d best be off, dinner will need to be made soon.” 

Peach was in stunned silence as her hand was gently taken and she was pulled away. Toad and DK following close behind with the ape giving a grand wave goodbye to the flashing lights.

“Don’t fret dear,” she continued softly, “You’re more than welcome into our home.”

“...Thank you.” Peach said softly.

“Of course. I’m Giorgia, the mother of those two handfuls, it’s wonderful to meet you!”

Peach, DK, and Toad were quickly led into one of the few still standing buildings. There were a few items damaged. Mainly from those that had either been hanging from the wall or had been on the selves. But otherwise, it was more of a mess with everything behind upturned or severely out of place. 

Other family members were either trying to right all that had been toppled over or bustling around the kitchen. Materials in hand while words were tossed around by the family member in a language Peach didn’t understand.

Tucked away in the corner, dressed in something much more comfortable and blankets draped over their shoulders, were Mario and Luigi. They were as close as they could possibly get. Sitting on large squishy bags, Luigi’s legs were draped across Mario’s lap. Foreheads gently pressed together with Mario’s left arm wrapped around his brother. He was saying something, but only Luigi could hear it as he would occasionally nod to what was being said. Eyes fixated on Mario’s right hand that was resting in his lap. Luigi moved the fingers on occasion or was gently squeezing the heavily padded areas.

Both were lost in each other to notice that the others had arrived. 

“I don’t suppose you two would be kind enough to help out in the kitchen?” Giorgia asked DK and Toad, “Let the family know if there’s anything you can’t eat.”

As the other two made their way to the kitchen, Giorgia turned her attention back to Peach. “And how about we get you out of that stuffy dress. I’m sure I have something you can wear.”

“Oh, uh, shouldn’t you worry about…” Peach’s eyes darted over to the brothers. 

Giorgia offered a warm smile in understanding. “I don’t know what’s happened to them… But I know when they need each other and not an overbearing mother. Besides, you look very uncomfortable. Wedding dresses are pretty, but not functional.”

It was such a relief to be out of that dress. Sure, she was used to wearing dresses on a daily basis. But that one made her skin itch. Also, Peach was absolutely enamored with this baggy shirt and loose, soft pants called ‘sleepwear’.

Dinner was interesting. It took awhile for the new arrivals to settle well around the table. Then needing time to be convinced that the spaghetti noodles were, in fact, not cooked worms. The chorus of happy noises told the family this meal was a winner.

They were halfway through the meal when the brother’s walked in. Still looking absolutely exhausted, hand in hand as they stood before the group.

The brothers gave weak smiles and tired waves, barely getting out a soft, “Hey-o…”

They were led over to the two free chairs that were placed next to each other. Still gripping each other’s hand as they sat and started to eat. They were too focused on eating/not falling asleep to notice the sudden tense atmosphere. All clearly wanting to know how they were feeling, and what happened, and if they were really okay.

Except for DK. Who’d finished his plate and beamed, “This stuff is amazing! No wonder Mario’s as round as he is.”

Peach felt as if she swallowed an Ice Flower. Wide eyes going to the ape, filled with fear. Which DK completely ignored. 

Just as Peach was going to apologize, Giorgia let out a soft laugh. “Well, I do feel better if I know my family’s being well fed. Would you like some more?”

“Yes please!”

“If you like this, you’ll be absolutely amazed by what else we have,” one Uncle stated, “This is actually pretty simple all things considered.”

“But it makes a lot and that’s what’s important.” The Aunt said this time.

Her husband, the second Uncle, nodded and added, “To be honest, not the meal I would think to serve royalty”

“Oh, I’m fine with this.” DK responded.

The same Uncle whispered to his wife, “The ape is royalty?”

“It’s wonderful,” Peach smiled softly, “Really, this is great. If anything, this is a wonderful introduction to the cuisine offered on Earth.”

The conversation picked up again after that. A warm atmosphere returning in full.

“Lu…Luigi? …Weegie, put your fork down at least.”

Hearing Mario whisper, Peach turned to peer over at the brothers. Luigi was clearly fighting sleep while sitting up. Uncaring as Mario placed his fork down onto the table.

“Hey,” Mario whispered softly, “You still with me?”

“Mmm? ‘M awake…” Luigi responded weakly. 

“Do you want to go upstairs?” 

“...Don’t wanna leave you.”

“I’ll be with you still. Promise. We should head up.”

“But…you’re hungry…”

“I ate enough, okay? Let’s go up.”

“But-”

“Oh, wow, wide yawning noises.” DK dramatically stretched his arms above his head, pushing against the ceiling. Mouth dropped wide in an over the top ‘yawn’. “Don’t suppose there’s room for a great ape to hang his tie for the night? Hey, Mario, you got a room? Eh, you got a room. How about you show me where you lay your head?”

Mario recovered from his surprise quickly, giving a small nod before turning to Luigi. “Come on. Let’s go with DK.”

“‘M ‘kay…” Luigi mumbled softly, eyes barely open now.

“I know, you’re okay. Let’s go upstairs.” 

The three departed. The rest left at the table listening as DK carried on his own conversation. Toad waited a few more minutes before also departing from the table. Giorgia quickly called out which floor and door was Mario’s room in case the other didn’t catch up fast enough. 

Pausing for a few moments before turning to Peach and frantically asking, “Are they male or female? How much do we need to worry about privacy?”

The princess couldn’t help but giggle. “Yes, he’s male, they’ll all be fine.”

Peach herself was directed to rest on the rather cushioned couch. With a pile of blankets and pillows dropped nearby. Being offered to have her take what she needed in order to be comfortable. She gave thanks and set up her small ‘bed’. Listening as the family cleaned up and departed to their own rooms. 

The apartment soon fell dark and quiet. 

Everything was calm.

Yet here Peach laid. Staring up at the ceiling.

Feeling restless.

There was too much to do and yet now was not the time where anything could be done.

Letting out a heavy sigh, Peach stood. Hopeful she wouldn’t wake anyone at her shifting, but she needed to move. 

She explored the bottom floor first in hopes that one slow round trip would be enough to tire her. Peach unable to stop herself from cooing softly seeing a picture of baby Mario. Mentally making a note to tease Mario for, at one point, being shorter than what he currently was.

You know…when he was in a better emotional state.

Still feeling antsy, Peach slowly made her way up the grand stairway. She remembered the directions Giorgia had noted before as to where Mario’s room was. Carefully making her way towards there. 

Reaching the intended landing, Peach paused to make sure the world was still asleep before moving on. She paused once more, standing outside of the targeted door. It was open just a crack, only seeing darkness inside and hearing nothing but gentle breathing. Peach took a slow breath before slowly peering in. 

Toad was asleep in the corner of the room nearest the door, using his backpack as a pillow. No doubt used to sleeping in weird areas. Leaning further in, she found the single bed pushed to be flushed against the wall furthest from where she stood, underneath the window. Which was allowing the only form of light to pour in. 

DK was in the center of the room, laying on his stomach with his crossed arms being used as a pillow. The brothers were using DK as a pillow/bed to sleep on. 

Mario was sleeping on his back, his head leaning down to rest on top of Luigi’s. Arms tightly wrapped around his brother. Luigi was clinging to Mario, sleeping on his side with his head resting on Mario’s chest. Both had their lower halves covered by a blanket. Even with how soundly they appeared to be sleeping, Peach could tell they were tense. 

Moving carefully, Peach walked further into the room and claimed a spot near DK. Leaning against the wall. Still wide awake.

“Princess.” DK’s voice almost sounded like deep thunder with how loud it was in comparison to the still quiet.

Peach turned her eyes away from the window to find the ape awake as well. Eyes shining in the dark. 

“I didn’t mean to wake you.” She whispered. 

“Wasn’t asleep. Can’t sleep. I feel weird.”

“Yeah, same… How are they?”

“Heavy.” DK grumbled out.

“Other than that.” Peach rolled her eyes.

The ape paused for a moment. Eyes turned towards the direction of where the brothers were laying. “...It took forever to get Greenie to lay down. He also ‘woke up’ a few times, I think he kept having bad memories popping up, before officially falling asleep. Mario’s been hovering around him like some amazing and caring older brother or whatever.”

Peach laughed softly. “You really do care about Mario, don’t you.”

She could tell it took everything for DK to not snort loudly, give dramatic movements to show and tell how much Peach was wrong about this. But due to the two sleeping forms laying against him, DK held back. Which seemed to keep him calm enough for him just to say, “Maybe. But don’t tell him.”

“I won’t.”

“Good… I don’t think they’re doing well, princess.”

“I don’t think they are either.”

“What do we do?”

Peach frowned softly. “...We start to rebuild.”

“They’re not physically broken. Well, I mean, not as severely…”

“No, not literally with them. This place, the Mushroom Kingdom, those places will need to be physically rebuilt. But they…”

We’ve never been apart this long.

“They went through something big. In different ways. I can’t even begin to imagine what it was like. I think, for now, they’re going to be jumpy. A little panicked if out of sight from each other. It’ll get better. But for now, let them do what they feel is comfortable. Let them set boundaries.”

“...That’s fair. I really panicked when I saw dad being lowered to the lava. That’s going to haunt me for a while.”

“Same here.”

DK shifted slightly. Both pausing when Luigi let out a small whine. Even in his sleep, Mario was on guard. Letting out a small grunt as he lifted Luigi up until they could gently touch their foreheads together. 

Mario mumbling out, “‘M ‘ere… You’re ‘kay…”

They took a few seconds to make sure the brothers had settled back down, DK asked, “How broken are we?”

That really was the question, wasn’t it.

Bowser’s plan/invasion was something none of the other kingdoms had expected to happen. Everyone expected a quiet existence when the Koopa king was exiled. All believe it would be enough to keep the evil king at bay when the Rainbow Road sections had been destroyed.

Suppose they didn’t know of Bowser’s level of tenacity.

Bottom line was this whole thing left a lot of damage. 

“Very broken…but we’ll get better. If Mario and Luigi can go through a living nightmare and keep pushing forward, so can we. It’s going to take time and…and we definitely won’t be the same. But that’s fine, because being the same would mean we’re not learning. We’ll find a new normal and work with it.”

Peach paused to quickly cover a yawn. Finally feeling exhaustion pulling her down.

“You should head back down,” DK said softly, “Princesses shouldn't sleep on the floor.”

“But ape princes get a green light for it?”

“Just figured you’d be more comfortable anywhere else.”

Yawn interrupting her next statement, Peach merely shook her head and laid down. Hoping Toad wouldn’t mind being used as a pillow. “I’d rather not sleep alone tonight.”

“Yeah…fair… Night Peach.”

Peach hummed softly, “Goodnight DK.”

It wasn’t the grand ending she’d been hoping for. There was too much damage to bounce back so suddenly.

Tomorrow would be better. It would be shaky. But it would be better.

[oh-hell-help-me]

July 25: Threading the Needle Day (Side A)

Luigi sighed as he completed the last stitch.

Considering the day he had, it felt warranted.

It was one of the few days Mario could visit him, and the welcomed addition of Peach had Luigi assume that it would be a great day for a family gathering.

It… wasn’t.

He should have known their rocky history would have stirred up a fight between Mario and Bowser.

He should have known that any disagreement would have quickly become physical- destructive even.

And he should have definitely known that bringing out a tablecloth he made would be a bad idea with food involved. To think he really thought the worst thing would be fixable food stains!

But life liked to crush his optimism and -in this case- tore it along with his tablecloth as the two important people of his life brawled on top of their dinner.

Luigi wasn’t sure what he looked like when he was stuck staring at the two pieces of fabric, only aware enough to collect it from the floor and make an exit out the Dining Hall.

(Later, the two rivals would admit that the sound he made and his disappearance had instigated a quick end to the fight- helped by a furious Peach, which is enough information for Luigi, honestly.)

His vision was blurry, and he knew the burning in his eyes were tears, but it didn’t register that he was crying until after he closed the door to his sewing room.

Mamma mia, it was a mess.

There were stains-

(Some horribly between red and yellow-)

And some fraying at the edges-

(Was it good enough when it was to easy to destroy-)

But it should be salvageable!

…He’s not sure if he’s talking about the cloth anymore.

He was shaking, and it was a bit hard to breathe, but Luigi took the time to open his sewing kit, gather his materials, and get to work-

And now he’s here, staring at the newly repaired tablecloth.

He wished fixing relationships were as easy, but……

It felt like every bit of progress he made in getting his family together was set back to the start.

What will happen when they simply stop trying?

When will they finally make him choose- as if he loved one more than the other?

Was this time it? That his efforts are just… worthless not enough?

He’s not sure if he wanted the answer to that, and was horribly relived when he hears the door creak open.

[divine-identite]

Uhh these two if you want to for the ship meme!

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME!

@daisyhiime

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - Im not even sure tbh 

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - very slow for Caius it might be somewhat quicker for daisy i suspect

How was their first kiss? - hmmm not so far maybe daisy had did it out of curiousity and it jsut confused him. OR maybe she had done it with means to justify it with holidady tradiitons

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Caius

Who is the best man/men? - Luigi, anyone else part of her kindgom

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Yeul would be one

Who did the most planning? - probably daisy

Who stressed the most? - maybe Daisy

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - unless you include bowser

Sex:

Who is on top? - Caius, but i suppose he swtiches with Daisy

Who is the one to instigate things? - Caius

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - It depends on Daisys schecule and Caius work

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - I would want to think so

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - not sure

How many children will they adopt? - i guess one or two

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - caius

Who is the stricter parent? - Caius

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? -

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - both

Who is the more loved parent? - Daisy

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Caius but they both might

Who cried the most at graduation? -

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? -

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - caius

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - daisy

Who does the grocery shopping? - caius, daisy is royalty

How often do they bake desserts? - caius does tme to time, i doubt daisy knows how to cook

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Caius eats meats but still does eat greens, I think Daisy might eat a better balance of the two

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Both

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Daisy

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - Daisy lol

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Caius

Who is really against chores? - I think Daisy lol

Who cleans up after the pets? - Caius

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - None lol

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - I think maybe Daisy being,again, royalty

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Caius

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - might be both

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Caius

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Daisy

What are their goals for the relationship? - hmmm not sure :T

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - neither

Who plays the most pranks? - Maybe Daisy?

[plantwaffle]

Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon

I wanted to play spooky games for the month of October. I enjoy the occasional scary movie, and I’ve played some scary games before, but horror is a genre I’ve never fully submersed myself in. Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon is a capably constructed game, but it lacks a sufficiently spooky atmosphere and was not the best way to start the month.

Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon is an exploration game set in a series of shadowy, mysterious buildings. After the titular Dark Moon crystal is stolen from the Evershade Valley, the resident ghosts turn aggressive and Professor E. Gadd summons Luigi to help him contain the riotous spirits and collect the pieces of the pacifying crystal. It’s going to be dangerous, so you’re given a vacuum cleaner and a flashlight. This is my favorite part of the game! I enjoy cleaning, so we’re definitely off to a good start.

Your main verbs are given a lot to do over the course of your adventure. The Poltergust 5000 is designed to capture rogue spirits, but you’ll spend a lot more time using it to suck up random detritus. Anything that could intuitively be affected by suction is, and the environments you explore are filled with interesting object interactions and puzzles. The flashlight you’re given can illuminate shadowy corners and restore invisible objects, as well as immobilize ghosts. Both of these tools feel great to use, from the tug-of-war action of the Poltergust to the charging whine emitted by the flashlight before a big burst.

The game’s levels are intelligently designed to expand your understanding of these tools. You explore by prodding the environment and solving puzzles. Then certain rooms will be filled with ghosts, which you have to take down by stunning them with your flashlight before sucking them into the Poltergust. What starts simple is complicated with the addition of multiple ghost types, hiding spots, objects that make ghosts immune to your flashlight, shifting environments, and more. These changes start slowly, and are almost always intuitive: for example, the ghost wearing sunglasses is immune to your flashlight, but the sunglasses can be swept off with the Poltergust. These encounters are further complicated by crowding enemies who will interrupt you as you try to capture other spirits, and the strategy required escalates gracefully throughout the game.

This careful design work extends to the mechanical design of the levels, but unfortunately not into their atmosphere. Each building Luigi explores is full of objects and switches that react to your Poltergust and flashlight in interesting and clever ways, but for an exploration game there isn’t much that is meaningful or satisfying to find. While each area contributes to a strong supernatural theme, you never feel like you’re revealing something hidden as you clean away the trash. Each level is pocketed with hidey-holes, and obscured secrets, but the secret is always the same: money, gems, or ghosts. None of the areas I explored held the presence of an “other,” or felt like they had been occupied by someone who would mind me rifling through their things. When you’re in the library sweeping away the cobwebs and yanking down the tapestries, all you reveal is a few coins and more library. This is an exploration game where the answer under the surface is frequently the same as the one above it.

The most surprising thing I found in this game? Luigi feels like the most powerful person in the universe (maybe besides Mario). He’s a wonderful character, shaky and unsure of himself, but mechanically speaking he has no reason to be afraid. He always feels stronger than his opponents, and he’s carrying tools that exploit their specific weaknesses. The ghosts are almost courteous; they will rarely sneak up on him, and he instigates the majority of his encounters. One of the game’s best levels occurs near the end, where you have to run around a giant mansion eliminating ghosts on a timer. Here there’s a sense of urgency, a pressure that could have injected some needed tension into the rest of the game. Rather, every other level gives you ample space to run your vacuum into every corner, just in case you will uncover something worth finding. Most frequently, you won’t.

It might seem silly to want this game to explore more actual horror. It’s a kids game! But spookiness is a great way to explore vulnerability and self-doubt. There are some endearing moments in Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon that I won’t get into. They stem from seeing Luigi going from terrified to triumphant, and he dances every time he completes a mission. I would have gotten more out of the experience if I was sharing in Luigi’s feelings rather than just watching.

[noicon]

Were the Borgias Really so Bad?

Alexander Lee attempts to rescue the Borgias from their baleful reputation.

Renaissance Italy was dominated by rich and powerful families whose reputations have been shaped by the many dark and dastardly deeds they committed. In quattrocento Florence, the Medici bought, bribed, and blackmailed their way to the top; in Rimini, the Malatesta flitted continually between self-destructive megalomania and near psychopathic brutality; and in Milan, the Sforza were every by as infamous for their sexual proclivities as they were for their political ruthlessness. But in this devilish roll-call of nefarious names, none sends such a chill up the spine as that of ‘Borgia’.

It is impossible to imagine a family more heavily tainted by the stains of sin and immorality, and – as even those who have not seen the eponymous television series will know – there is scarcely one of their number who does not seem to be cloaked in an aura of iniquity. The founder of the family’s fortunes, Alfons de Borja (1378-1458) – who reigned as Pope Callixtus III – was decried even by his closest allies as the “scandal of [his] age” for his monstrously corrupt ways. His nephew, Rodrigo (1431-1503) – who he himself elevated to the cardinalate, and who would be elected Pope Alexander VI in 1492 – was reputed to be even worse. Accused of buying the papacy, he would later be besmirched by rumours so severe that the Venetian diplomat Girolamo Priuli felt able to claim he had “given his soul and body to the great demon in Hell”. Indeed, as the papal master of ceremonies, Johann Burchard, was to contend in the middle of Alexander’s reign:

There is no longer any crime or shameful act that does not take place in public in Rome and in the home of the Pontiff. Who could fail to be horrified by the…terrible, monstrous acts of lechery that are committed openly in his home, with no respect for God or man? Rapes and acts of incest are countless…[and]great throngs of courtesans frequent St. Peter’s Palace, pimps, brothels, and whorehouses are to be found everywhere!

But worse still was the reputation of Alexander’s children, and Burchard’s blithe comment that they were “utterly depraved” barely begins to cover the crimes with which they were associated in the contemporary imagination. Lucrezia (1480-1519) – with whom the pope was reputed to have slept – was cast not only as a whore, but also as a poisoner, a murderer, and a witch. And Cesare (1475/6-1507) – the most handsome, dashing, and despicable Borgia of all – was widely believed to have killed his elder brother Juan in a fit of jealousy, bedded his sister, and embarked on a campaign of slaughter and conquest aimed at carving a kingdom out of the scattered states of Northern Italy.

Confronted with so comprehensively damning a portrait, it is difficult to believe that the Borgias could have been any more dreadful if they had tried. But precisely because the impression conveyed by contemporary accounts is soutterly dreadful, it is equally difficult not to question whether such a terrible reputation was entirely justified. Were the Borgias really all that bad?

As with most things that are supposed to have happened behind the scenes in the shadowy world of Renaissance Rome, certainty is often elusive, and it is a challenging task to separate the evidential wheat from the gossipy chaff when sifting through the documents which have survived. Yet despite this, there is enough to suggest that the Borgias weren’t quite the one-dimensional evil-doers they first appear to have been.

On the one hand, they certainly weren’t the demonic arch-villains they have been painted as.  For all of the vividness with which observers such as Burchard, Priuli, Machiavelli, and Guicciardini described the Borgias, it is clear that at least some of the family’s unenviable reputation was entirely undeserved. The charge of incest, for example, seems to be without any solid basis in fact. So too, the suggestion that Lucrezia was a poisoner is grounded more on salacious gossip and the hysterical accusations of a divorced husband than on reliable evidence.

Although thrice married – each time for political reasons – she was, by all accounts, a highly cultured and intelligent figure who was admired and respected by contemporaries such as the poet Pietro Bembo, and who was never seriously associated with any misdeeds. But equally untenable is the claim that Cesare killed his brother. Not only was there little for Cesare to gain from Juan’s death, but it is even arguable that – since Cesare was compelled to set aside his cardinal’s hat to assume Juan’s secular roles - the family’s long-term position was weakened so severely that he could not have been unaware of the risks. 

Much more plausible is the suggestion that Juan was killed either in an amorous adventure gone wrong, or at the instigation of Cardinal Ascanio Sforza, with whom he had argued, and who was an avowed enemy of the whole family. Even less credible, however, are the piquant accounts of the Borgias’ supposedly raucous parties. The so-called “Banquet of the Chestnuts” – an all-night orgy at Apostolic Palace attended by fifty “honest prostitutes” and involving eye-popping sexual athletics – is, for example, attested only in Burchard’s memoirs, and is not only intrinsically implausible, but was also dismissed as such by many contemporaries.On the other hand, even those crimes of which the Borgias were guilty weren’t anything out of the ordinary. Indeed, when the evidence is interrogated more carefully, it is apparent that the Borgias were entirely typical of the families who were continually vying for the papal throne during the Renaissance.

They were, for example, undoubtedly guilty of both nepotism and simony. Although the sums involved were unquestionably exaggerated by contemporary chroniclers, both Callixtus III and Alexander VI bribed their way to the papacy, and used their power to advance their family as fully as possible. Alexander VI alone elevated not fewer than ten of his relatives to the College of Cardinals, and endowed others with a host of fiefdoms in the Papal States. But precisely because the papacy could so easily be misused for familial aggrandisement and enrichment, these ecclesiastical abuses were all too familiar. Though formally classed as a sin, simony was common. In 1410, for example, Baldassare Cossa borrowed 10,000fl. from Giovanni di Bicci de’ Medici to bribe his way to becoming Anti-pope John XXIII, and at the conclave of 1458, Cardinal Guillaume d’Estouteville promised to distribute a vast array of lucrative benefices to anyone who would vote for him, albeit in vain. Nepotism, too, was widespread. In the early fifteenth century, Martin V had secured immense estates for his Colonna relatives in the kingdom of Naples, but within a century, nepotism had become so extreme that even Machiavelli felt obliged to attack Sixtus IV – who had elevated six of his relatives to the Sacred College – for this crime. Later, Julius II (a kinsman of Sixtus IV) acquired the duchy of Urbino for his nephew, Francesco Maria della Rovere; Clement VII made his illegitimate son, Alessandro, the first duke of Florence; and Paul III raised his bastard child, Pier Luigi Farnese, to the duchy of Parma.  

Similarly, there is no doubting that Alexander VI was a lusty and sexually adventurous pope. He openly acknowledged fathering a bevy of children by his mistress, Vannozza dei Cattanei, and later enjoyed the legendary affections of Giulia Farnese, renowned as one of the most beautiful women of her day. 

But here again, Alexander was merely following the norms of the Renaissance papacy, and it is telling that Pius II had no shame about penning a wild, sexual comedy called Chrysis. Popes and cardinals were almost expected to have mistresses. Julius II, for example, was the father of numerous children, and never bothered to hide the fact, while Cardinal Jean de Jouffroy was notorious for being a devotee of brothels. Homosexual affairs were no less common, and in that he seems to have limited himself to only one gender, Alexander VI almost seems straight-laced. 

Sixtus IV was, for instance, reputed to have given the cardinals special permission to commit sodomy during the summer, perhaps to allow him to do so without fear of criticism, while Paul II was rumoured to have died while being sodomised by a page-boy.

Even Cesare’s deserved reputation for savage megalomania is rather less impressive when set in the context of the period. He was, of course, a ferociously ambitious figure who indulged in some pretty low tactics. Having divested himself of his cardinal’s hat, he ripped through the Romagna and Le Marche, building a vast, private fiefdom in the space of just three years. In all this, murder seemed not an occasional necessity, but an integral part of everyday existence. In 1499 alone, he ordered the assassination or execution of the Spanish Constable of the Guard, the soldier-captain Juan Cervillon, and Ferdinando d’Almaida, the cruel-minded bishop of Ceuta, and subsequently added a host of individuals such as Astorre III Manfredi to his list of victims. Later, he even slaughtered three of his own senior commanders at a dinner in Senigallia after (rightly) suspecting them of plotting against him. But from a certain perspective, all of this was only to be expected. It was quite normal for the relatives of Renaissance popes to set their sights on conquest and acquisition.

 Although some ‘papal’ families – such as the Colonna – owned huge tracts of land, the majority – such as the Piccolomini and the della Rovere – started out as cash-strapped minor nobles, or – in the Borgias’ case – as landless foreigners, and popes from this latter group naturally encouraged their kinsmen to seize enough territory to put them on a par with the greatest noble houses in Italy. This meant war. And in an age in which war was the preserve of mercenaries, war meant cruelty on a grand scale. The wild, bisexual Pier Luigi Farnese, for example, was infamous for his brutality, and not only pillaged at will, but also made a habit of hunting down those men who resisted his advances. So too, Francesco Maria della Rovere, was nothing more than a soldier for hire, who ordered his troops to slaughter Cardinal Francesco Alidosi after his own failure to capture Bologna. Indeed, if anything, Cesare was unusual only in his tactical brilliance and in his comparative self-restraint.

It seems clear that the Borgias’ rather unfortunate reputation was undeserved. While some of the accusations levelled at them were simply untrue, even those crimes which they did commit were typical of the period, and paled by comparison to those of other ‘papal’ families.

Yet this leaves us with a problem. If the Borgias weren’t as bad as they may seem, why was their name so heavily tarnished? Why did observers turn on them quite so comprehensively, and what was the reason for so dramatic a smear campaign?

Although in later years, the steady worsening of the Borgias’ reputation was intimately linked to the shifting currents of Reformation and Counter-Reformation thought, there are perhaps three reasons why contemporary observers were prepared to attack them quite so viciously.

The first is simply that they were Spaniards, and as such, were yoked to shifting perceptions of Spanish influence in the Italian peninsula. Attitudes were, of course, often positive, but as a result of the involvement of Spain and the Aragonese kingdom of Naples in the affairs of Northern Italy during the late fifteenth and early sixteenth centuries, there gradually emerged a ‘Black Legend’, a virulent form of anti-Spanish propaganda which identified all things Spanish with oppression, brutality, and cruelty. The fact that the Borgias hailed from Valencia, and that Alexander VI had helped to involve the Spanish more closely in Italian affairs meant that the family was almost inevitably tarred with the same brush.

The second reason is that they were outsiders. In spite of the universality of the Church’s message, the Renaissance papacy was perceived to be an Italianinstitution, simply by virtue of the fact that the control of the Papal States gave a pontiff and his family colossal power in the Italian peninsula itself, both in terms of direct political influence, and in terms of familial aggrandizement. Whichever way you looked at it, the papacy was dominated by Italians, directed in the interest of Italian states, and misused for the benefit of Italians. The Borgias were an anomaly. It was not merely that they were not Italian (there would be only one other non-Italian pope between the end of the Great Schism in 1417 and the Sack of Rome in 1527); rather, it was that Callixtus III and Alexander VI sought to use the papacy to enrich their family at the expense of Italians. They despoiled other (Italian) families of their land and titles; they invoked the help of foreign powers; and they generally disrupted the delicate balance of power in Italy. As a consequence, it was almost natural that Italian commentators and historians – many of whom had experienced the rapaciousness of successive pontiffs – were willing to depict the Borgias inaccurately as especially corrupt and vile individuals.

The third – and most important – reason is, however, that the Borgias simply weren’t all that successful. Although it was not unusual for families to base their success entirely on papal favour, most were canny enough to limit their ambitions, to consolidate their gains gradually and to graft themselves into other more established families. In other words, they started small, played the long game and tried not to ruffle too many feathers. And, by and large, this was a technique that worked. The Piccolomini, the della Rovere, and the Farnese families all climbed the ladder slowly and effectively, and – in time – became dominant players in the game of Italian politics. This fact alone prevented anyone from taking too strong a dislike to them. You just had to get along with them. But the Borgias were different. They were too hasty, too reliant on papal authority and foreign favour, and too unwilling to respect existing patters of landed power. They were building on sand. No sooner had Alexander VI died than Cesare’s proto-kingdom imploded and he himself was betrayed by Julius II. There was nothing left, and there was no-one to turn to for help. Forced to return to Spain, Cesare – and the Borgias – had failed. And in failure, even their former friends had no hesitation in decrying them as scoundrels. Without lasting power or influence, there was nothing either to hold back the criticism or to restrain the exaggerations.  

If the Borgias weren’t as bad as they have often seemed, therefore, the background to their unfortunate and ill-deserved reputation leaves us with a rather more interesting and engaging history. On the one hand, it is a tale of an obscure Spanish family determined to seek its fortune in a foreign land, set on beating the Italians at their own game, and perhaps willing to engage a little too freely in some of the more sensuous pleasures of the age. But on the other hand, it is a story of inglorious failure, dramatic defeat, and the ignominious assaults of enemies who hated outsiders – especially Spaniards – more than anything else. It is not a tale we might expect of the Borgias, but it is nevertheless a tale that is all too reflective of the amazing double-standards of the Renaissance, and is perhaps all the richer for it. Source