#madd is obsessed with tom hardy for ts

[tomhardysteeth]

The thing about Venom (2018) is that if they had cast an actor who played it straight, it would’ve just been a bad movie that made no lasting impression on any part of culture but instead they cast I-can’t-play-characters-straight-because-I-have-crooked-teeth Tom Hardy, who dives head fucking first into every role and is more concerned with doing a convincing job than he is about doing a good job, which is how you end up with a movie that is not particularly good but is actually unfathomable and completely batshit in a way that inspires tons of fanfic and fan art and created monsterfuckers out of many of us and remains such a strong sticking point that even if I just mention a lobster tank, you know and understand what I mean.

[saywhatjessie]

They filmed venom 2 in 2019 when tomhardy was particularly chonky so there is a noticeable difference in pudge between first and second movie and I am totally Normal About It

Yes no exactly as I’ve observed

[tomhardysteeth]

Love how people have Tom Hardy as this hypermasculine male power fantasy and he himself has said in at least one interview that he considers himself to be a lot more feminine and doesn't understand where people are getting this masculine fantasy from. Icon

Tom Hardy plays tough guy characters because it’s the opposite of how he actually feels in real life and he likes pretending like he has that intense masculinity and power because in reality he’s sensitive, “quite scared of everything,” “a little bitchy” and has a high heel fetish and a Madonna tattoo that represents himself as a mother to his son!!!!!!!! Straight men obsessed with Tom Hardy, is this your god???????

[tomhardysteeth]

Ppl acting confused by the weird inflections and bad impressions venom is doing in the venom 2 trailer my friends we’re talking about an actor who based his voice for al capone on bugs bunny. We’re talking about a man who did a welsh accent in a movie based on a friend’s accent who he later found out is not welsh. Did none of you see the dark knight rises

[tomhardysteeth]

I’m not into daddy kink I’m not into daddy kink I’m not into daddy kink I’m not into daddy kink I’m not into

[tomhardysteeth]

STOP INFLICTING THE TOM HARDY WORDS ON ME. DO NOT PLANT IN MY HEAD THE IDEA OF GETTING TO ASK HIM ABOUT HIS FAVORITE WORDS. DO NOT MAKE ME THINK ABOUT HIM THINKING ABOUT HOW MELLIFLUOUS COMES FROM THE LATIN WORD FOR HONEY, DO NOT MARRY HONEY-TONGUED AND TOM-HARDY IN MY BRAIN, I AM WEAK AND WEARY.

i see you in the tags saying you wanna to teach him the word "verbosity" bc he says "verboseness" but i think one of the fun things about tom hardy vernacular is that he manipulates and contorts words into adverbs, adjectives, nouns - whether they are or not - to fit into his ridiculous sentences in whatever way he needs to get his point across, his subject/verb agreements are in disarray, he's hemming and hawing and making big gestures with his hands while speaking in his soft spoken mumbly lilt and then he's like

[tomhardysteeth]

Apparently Tom wore three inch heels for his role as Bane according to this youtube video im watching

ah yes one of the first things i googled about tom hardy when i first became obsessed with him while quarantining in my apartment after being exposed to covid patient zero in my county in march of 2020

[tomhardysteeth]

i want everyone to know that when i refer to tom hardy as my mom it is NOT a kink thing in any way whatsoever. i am sometimes attracted to tom hardy but when i call him my mom i mean it literally. i literally want him to be my mom. glad to clear this up. 

[tomhardysteeth]

omg i didn't know he vaped... what’s the coolest fact you know about , in your opinion?

You mean the coolest fact I know about tom hardy? Idk about the coolest, but my absolute favorite fact about tom hardy is that he’s like the complete opposite of a method actor. My mans uses auto cues and tear stick and hardly does anything to get into character for a scene. I personally think his best performance is Locke and he literally read the entire script he didn’t memorize one single line!!!!!

[tomhardysteeth]

hi madd! do you have a favorite tom hardy tattoo?

I love how nonsensical and ridiculous a lot of his tattoos are and how they all mesh into a lovely mess on his cute lil body. One of my favorite things is that the most visible tattoos on his right arm are ones that he got when he was young (and broke), and the ones on his left are ones he got more recently, which means his right and left arm look like they belong in different socioeconomic classes lmao.

On a more serious note I am particularly fond of the Madonna on his left arm because he said it represents himself as a mother figure to his son, and I am obsessed with the idea of Tom Hardy as a maternal figure and obsessed with the fact that he decided to portray himself on his own body as that of a woman.

On a hornier note I love “til I die SW” on his abdomen because it moves and shifts when he fluctuates weight/changes his body for roles and I have more than once changed it to “til I die AW” for Eddie Brock to have in Venom fics and love explaining how it moves and distorts whenever I make Eddie lose and gain weight in fics. I am normal.

[tomhardysteeth]

yeah i meant whatever you thought was the coolest thing to know about him! and it's nice that you don't obsess on his personal life, i'm pretty sure he wouldn't like that (he already seems so uncomfortable with being famous..) anyway. thanks! have a nice day/night! i'll leave you with my favorite Tom quote so far: "I'm singing, right now, inside. I'm dancing as well a little bit."

every time i learn personal information about tom hardy i feel like he's personally disappointed in me!!!!!!!! even if HE'S the one sharing it!!!!!!!1 thanks anon, you're lovely!!!!!!!!!!

[tomhardysteeth]

Nah because I too would pick “have Tom hardy as your mom.”

Oh to be a baby resting my cheek against tom hardy’s chest as he reads There’s a Tiger in the Garden to me before gently placing me in my crib

[tomhardysteeth]

i sing to the babies when they were babies so they’d get to know my burr tom hardy please i am begging you to be my mom

[tomhardysteeth]

Weird nose year? Please say more!

Idk man, I’m assuming he got punched in the face while kickboxing or somethin and it just messed up his nose for a while. He has a weird nose anyway, it looks totally different from every angle and depending on his facial expressions. Here’s a weird nose angle from the first movie:

And a weird nose angle from the new trailer:

The bridge of it is totally different, see? His face was also pudgier in 2019, so that could be a contributing factor. All I know is that when I see random pics of Tom Hardy, I can tell immediately if they are from 2019. My mans just looked different that year.

[tomhardysteeth]

i know this has been said a million times before but if i was an alien that required an oxygen-tank host to survive on a planet i was planning to take over and the oxygen tank i chose was tom hardy i too would abandon my entire species and make out with him in the woods

[tomhardysteeth]

Not somebody tagging my tom hardy post saying he got chunky bro I WISH he’d get chunky for real