#made a new post abt it so that the people who reblogged that post wouldnt have to see my response

[fuckingrealityshifting]

Update

Hi! I know I’ve been super inactive on this account and I apologize.

I’ve been really busy with life and my own mental health, and my newest interest I’m on tumblr 24/7 for on a different account, but I’ve also kind of been reconsidering my time here and I’m not really happy with what I’ve created.

I don’t really like this account.

I don’t like the fact I’m expected to like, I don’t know, Know Stuff, and I just don’t feel comfortable with people looking to me for information anymore.

Like, I don’t mind giving advice; I’ll answer dms and maybe get to answering asks but I just don’t really wanna make informational posts and resources anymore. I don’t wanna be that person.

I just don’t really wanna be Out There anymore. I’m no longer in a mood where I’m fine being the Mentally Ill 15 Year Old who runs a shifting account. I don’t want video essay/cringe videos or anything made of my account one day with the title going fuckingrealityshifting: the tumblr ‘shifting’ mystery or to be another entry on a list of tumblr jokes/iconic (in a bad way) posts/people.

All honestly? I wouldn’t say I don’t believe, but I’m doubting shifting or at least shifting the way it’s been presented recently.

I just lost interest a while ago and it’s like, ehhhh. I’m still spiritual, and I believe in weird crystal shit and all that other stuff, I just need to do more research to see if this actually has much of a historical basis.

I know it’s been said like, I don’t remember what civilization but some ancient civilization had something similar? Mayans? Mesopotamia? Idk. But when it was mentioned I just took that at its word before but now it’s like. If I’m gonna trust this isn’t a New Thing without much basis, I wanna find this. I wanna find the documents about this or the artifacts or whatever and I just haven’t made the effort to go and look. Or at least, older stuff related to this. It can be a new idea and true but it just doesn’t seem as trustworthy.

But the point is I just took supposed historical basis at its word without really critically thinking about it and I feel like that’s what’s been done with a lot of shifting justification.

I mean, in my heart of hearts I still believe, but I guess it’s more of a thing I’ve just drifted away from.

So I don’t know what to do. I’ve toyed with the idea of kind of mainly leaving this account and making a new one for casual spiritual shit (I talk abt my crystals, mediation, my journey, etc, being personal to me being the Main Point rather than a side thing to being an informational account) or like, reblogging the stuff I don’t like to an archive account and just converting this account to casual. I’m a little selfish and I kinda like the 2k followers even though I’m basically stopping what they followed me for.

I like this username. I do wanna keep the username whatever I’m doing. Lmao.

And this isn’t necessarily a permanent thing; my interest in shifting might rekindle and so I don’t wanna delete this account or anything.

I just don’t think I should have inserted myself into the shifting community the way I did and I honestly feel guilty about basically bringing it here. Like, I have no experience, I basically learned a lot about shifting and other spiritual stuff I was kind of learning as I went.

I know I’ve advocated knowing what you’re doing and talked about safety and stuff, and at least my conscious is clear knowing I cared and tried; but I feel like I didn’t do enough. I feel like it was presented as too much of an afterthought and should have been at the front of every single post especially when I was posting to Tumblr, the mentally ill youth’s haven for escapism.

Regarding shifting itself I think I was making it too much of a Thing as well. It’s just. Like, do it. Congrats, you’ve done. It’s that easy. And at least for me, I don’t know what the effect my posts had on other people, it felt like Something I Had To Feel Happening Before I Went To Sleep Or Else It Wouldnt Happen.

Also I think we shouldn’t look to find evidence for shifting. Like, scientific shit is just not going to exist. I think it’s like people pointing to miracles and going ‘God is great! He did this!’ n using it as evidence like. The nature of shifting and religions and all that is that It Cannot Be Proven and we should be okay with this.

We should be aware it is illogical to point to this having a strong basis in objective observable reality rather than try and make a case for it. I just feel it’s weird. It’s just weird to me. And I regret arguing for it. “You can’t disprove it, so therefore it’s true” is a logical fallacy.

Not saying that’s necessarily what was said, I recall it was more of a “You can’t disprove it and I can’t really prove it, so just let me believe” but I think the fallacy did seep into the ideology of some of the community.

I disagree this is a cult, but just because it’s not a cult doesn’t mean we’re not a fairly small group on the internet that has some questionable ideologies and behaviors that can get out of control. I just don’t wanna be responsible for making any mistakes that lead to questionable stuff or that even have led to anything. I just don’t want the power to be able to do that and I feel like I kinda created that for myself. My bad.

I fucking love y’all, though. We created a really nice, supportive community here that was dedicated to keeping each other safe the best we could. We made friendships and memes and fun times. I’m proud of that. And I’m proud of you.

TLDR:

I don’t wanna be a Prominent Shifting Page anymore, I just wanna be casual. Maybe I’ll convert this or make a new account.

Kinda questioning shifting, and even so I’ve overall lost interest or motivation in wanting to shift.

I think I went about this the wrong way and just don’t like how shifting is approached.

I don’t think it’s great to use questionable evidence to support something inherently unprovable. I think we should be okay not being able to prove or disprove it.

[latetaektalk]

content creator year in review

tagged by: @luvdsc @yeojaa @gamerkooks thanks to all of you 💖

first creation and most recent creation of 2020: 

unspoken rules is my first creation of 2020 and i honestly i cringe so hard thinking about this one sadf like, i feel like it was so obvious that i had literally no idea what i was doing and was just writing for the sake of writing something? i dont know. not a fan of that fanfic asdfad

my most recent creation would be my love to hate you series

one of your favorite creations from 2020: 

even though i would change a few things now, it definitely has to be after i left you! ive never written such a long fic and in such a short time too!! my baby really

a creation you’re really proud of: 

i mean id say after i left you again, but i think aside from that one, im also really proud of my love to hate you series! its gonna be a long series and the fact that i havent lost motivation yet, really surprises me,, so im really proud of myself for that

a creation that took you forever:  

oh definitely how to love,, i put it on hiatus almost right away after posting it... still passionate abt the idea and premise of the fic tho. definitely gonna rewrite that fic!!

a creation from 2020 that received the most notes:  

my baby, after i left you !!

a creation you think deserved more notes:  

uh i dont know honestly? but i think if i had to name one of my fics, it’d be my the one that got away fic maybe. like, i also cringe reading that one, but i think some parts are actually good

a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it:  

wouldnt say i joined the nct fandom because i had been listening to them since their debut, but i definitely did get into them more this year. and so far ive only written two-ish pieces for them: the one that got away and how to love

a creation you made that breaks your heart:  

hm, i guess the one that got away because i was feeling very sad when i was writing that,, 

a ‘simple’ creation that you really love:  

i dont know, but i guess the one that got away fic is my most simple fic? its just friends to lovers, but aside from that one (because i think ive mentioned that fic about twenty times now), i would say my break up with me series

a creation that was inspired by another one:  

hm, i guess my love to hate you series is kinda inspired by after i left you because i really wanted to write a proper fake dating au after that one!

a favorite creation created by someone else:  

oh my god, i have soo many and im sure im forgetting a few fics, but here are some that i still think about on a daily basis and why i love them so much:

reasons to say i love you by @onherwings​

probably has one of the best twists ever,, like i still remember how shocked i was when i got the ending and how i had to put down my phone and think for a second becuase oh my god. a+ angst really!

dumbing down of love, b-side and ellipsism by @luvdsc​

look, ddol is a romcom in story form, period. like, i laughed and screamed while reading it. b-side just took my heart and smashed it!! ellipsism... just broke me honestly sadfsf like i have a love-hate realtionship with that story because god, it is so well written and completely blew my mind, but on the other hand, it genuinely hurts so much

if not forever by @cosmoguk​

genuinely so in love with this drabble! i felt so much while reading it and im so sorry lira i havent gotten around to reviewing it properly because god, this drabble deserves so much love!

maybe so by @joonary​

the dialogue is hands down some of the best ive ever read!! and in general, im really in love with the relationship between the characters and the characters themselves,, its really such a great and fleshed out story!!

roseraie, they don’t love you like i love you by @yeojaa​

roeraie just hurts on a whole new level,, god, i kinda hate jungkook in this story asfasd they dont love you like i love you is kinda the opposite tho!! not only is the fic really well written (but everything by erin is so), the couple is also super interesting and fun- ugh, just go read it

primroses by @softguks​

crushed my heart. pulverised it. smashed it into tiny little pieces,, i genuinely have no words for this fic except read it because this is a masterpiece and will absolutely leave you in tears

for heartache by @sketchguk

this story just made me feel some type of way. i cant really describe it or put it into words,, reading this just made me sad in a way i cant describe? but in the best way possible,, the greatest fic to read right now!!

sun & moon by @ppangjae

you want a good fake dating au and enemies to lovers au? you read this one!! this wont disappoint, trust me. (i know i havent reviewed this properly yet, but i will get around to it!!)

hm i just realised this kinda turned into a fic rec list, but whatever i dont care,, all of the writers/stories deserve so much love so!!

some of your favorite content creators from the year:  

honestly everyone i just mentioned and everyone ive reblogged on my fic recs blog. 

and for good measure, another couple more creations of yours that you love:  i think ive mentioned almost everything on my masterlist except love of my list and goodnight, so here!! go check out those two fics, do gotta say i cringe at both of them

tagging: i think most people have already done this, so im honestly not sure who im gonna tag? but here a few people whose answers id be really interested in! if youve done it already, sorry! @masterninjacow @cosmoguk @onherwings @dreamiesdotcom @joonary @gyukult @cafemiya @ppangjae

[variou-very]

OH BOY I HOPE THIS POSTS DECENTLY

basically some asks i got got me rly thinking abt like... what the darkeners would be like in the future.......... specifically lancer but like he has a whole fam. and thennnnnn i got super carried away with coloring (i need to practice anyway)

notes headcanons and things under the cut!

Please reblog! It means more than just a like!

so likeeee

I like to think lancer really did try his best to be a good king, like he treats people fairly and kindly. Maybe Seam would come back to the castle if he heard that the spade court is no longer ruled by someone influenced by the knight?? work with lancer to get the kingdom back to where its supposed to be

as for ralsei like kris and susie just left him there in the castle. lancer couldnt stand the thought of one of his new friends being alone in a gloomy ol castle all day so he invited him to live with him in the card castle! not much was said about what exactly ralsei was doing all alone but... im sure he was eager to live in a place full of people. I can see him working on archival things. like writing or printing books or like librarian things? i think itd be fun if he and lancer like taught each other how to do the others magic (defensive and offensive)

the spade pins are basically kind of dual purpose family crests/ friendship charms. given as gifts to those lancer trusted. the placement doesnt matter i just put it where it felt right for the design.

lancer and ralsei are wearing delta runes because they helped fulfill the prophecy. 

for the old king.... i am of the opinion that he was heavily influenced (maybe even brainwashed idk) by the knight (who or whatever that is) and his actions were fueled by rage. i know he was lying abt like “i am not used to fighting like this” to make the gang drop their guards but... i really think that was a sliver of truth. i know child abuse is like, a horrible thing to work through but idk... i think hed hate to give up on his dad. help heal him like the kingdom. in the pacifist route maybe the subjects can help and say like “yeah the lighteners were really nice!!!!” and help convince him??? idk. i dont think its exactly in lancers character to leave his dad locked up in a mossy cell forever. the old king is kind of a sad old man. guilty and tired. lancer may forgive him but he cant take back what hes said and what hes done to his only child. (oof ouch angst)

NOW WHY IS LANCER SO SWOLE idk i mostly wanted him to have a different look than the king. (top heavy rather than bottom heavy) he also seems like a lil ball of energy and i feel like that would carry on until adulthood. i could see him wanting to spar or train, not really in preparation for a fight (but who knows!) but maybe like being able to be strong enough to protect those he cares about. (if anything i can see him being the guy working out his arms saying “heck im gonna be so good at hugging”). i also wouldnt be surprised if susie made him want to be stronger since shes so strong and cool!

as for rouxls im not sure!!!!! hes not good at puzzles but he really does care for lancer and lancer cares for him. hes probably like... just a duke? some kind of member of the spade court.... idk. hes not going anywhere. he still basically raised lancer while his dad was off doing bad guy things. hes family, and family means no one gets left behind. 

ralsei did braid his hair once and he decided “yanno what i like this “ and kinda incorporated it into his look.

ANYWAY i worked on this piece like all day thats why theres so much written here, thank you for reading it if you did <3 

[dontyouhearmehowling]

oh my god. Ok so I just scrolled through your blog and my heart hurts because there is so much love and just so much stuff I can relate too and I just ahhh damnnn it I cant even but like can I please have the story of your relationship with this girl your with? please? i'm a hopeless romantic I feel too much I love so hard my own love life is complicated but i know the kind of love you talk about thats exactly how i love the love of my life too so yours is a story I need to hear

ok so. it all started on April 31st, 2018. i reblogged one of those ask games and she sent me an emoji that said “i’m too scared to talk to you but i think you’re great” and i was like do it!!! and she did!!!! she texted me after i had already gone to sleep tho, so i only answered the next day. but then we talked all day. and the next. and the next. and we never ran out of things to talk about and even only knowing her for a few days i already felt comfortable enough with her to talk about anything?? it was wild. since day 1 we’ve had this connection that i’ve never had with anyone else and its my favorite thing in the world. after like a week we already had a bunch of inside jokes, something that i’d never had before, and i was already crushing on her. ok so we became very close friends like immediately, and i mostly ignored my crush on her bc i thought she didn’t like me back and usually i’d get meaningless crushes on everyone at first before i met her. but then this other girl and i started flirting and i realized i didnt like her bc i liked c too much, so i broke things off and kinda went like “oh shit this is real” and decided that i’d just stay friends with c until i eventually couldnt take it anymore and had to tell her abt my feelings bc thats how i am. anyways ok cool meanwhile i made her watch the good place on rabb.it with me which will be relevant later.

ok so fast forward to may 21st or something around that time. its time to sleep bc i have school the next day so we say goodnight, but then i guess she says something or reblogs something and i get sad bc i realize she doesnt like me back. so i make some hashtag sad posts abt yearning and then i realize i told her i was going to sleep and i didnt want her to think i didnt want to talk to her so i text her again and say like “ok i was going to go to sleep but then i got sad abt my crush” and SHE GOES “you have a crush????????” and im there like. what in the hell bc not only did i not try to hide it At All, i constantly posted about it and had an entire tag about her and i thought it was pretty obvious. so anyways i go “yes?? i thoought you knew that?? im literally always posting about it??” and she asks me to talk abt the crush and who it is. i say “just stalk the tag if u want, im going to sleep” then shes like “nO WAIT WHO IS IT” and im like. blatantly ignoring that and my heart is already beating out of my chest but she Really wants to know and then at one point i say “please dont make me answer that” so shE SAYS “you’re making me think that its me” and i say “i dont know what you want me to say” and SHE GOES “I WANT YOU TO SAY THAT ITS ME BC I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON YOU” so i just. die. right then and there. also yknow we talk about it and its like after 1 am and im just happier than i’ve ever been. ok so 2 days later she asks me out Officially and its great and shes the cutest gf ever and she made me feel more wanted than i’d ever felt in my entire life. then 6 days later she sends me a big big big text on tumblr and long story short (bc it was kinda personal), she would be deleting her all social media for the summer.

so she was gone. and we had only dated for a week at this point, but we’d known each other for 2 months, and i already loved her. i already knew she was the love of my life. i didnt even try to move on, i’d tell people i didnt wanna move on cuz i knew i was meant to love her. i had another blog like this that i used to talk about how much i loved and missed her (so like. exactly like this). i literally reasoned with myself that like. that happened because before i met her i was in a really bad place after a terrible relationship and i was almost giving up on finding someone who actually made me feel loved bc i thought it would never happened, so i was like “ok so i was in a really bad place, so the universe brought my soulmate a little early just for a while so that i would know i had to hold on, and when its actually time for us to be together, it will bring us to each other once again” like i actually told myself that, in those words. and yknow what? i wasnt even wrong. on july 15th she texted me from an empty tumblr with her old url and at first i literally couldnt believe it but we talked for hours and hours and i asked her what happened bc i thought she was disconnecting for the summer and she said “i was. i am. i just couldnt not talk to you anymore” and she said that she thought about me every single day, and i told her i missed her and she said she didnt text sooner bc she thought i’d be angry at her and ofc i wouldnt, i could never be angry at her and besides, she was just taking care of herself and i said i dont think i could be anything less than head over heels for for, and she said she felt the same way, but wasnt ready to be more than friends yet. but that had always been more than enough for me. just having her in my life would always be more than enough for me. so we stayed friends.

then, on august 9th i got this ask.

and she saw it after i said i was gonna go to bed (bc again, i had school the next day) and she texted me a whole thing about how that was the nicest thing anyone had ever said about her and that i should be asleep but she had to get it out of her chest and that her anxiety made it hard for her to show how much i meant to her so she was sorry if i didnt know and this would probably make no sense but she was tired of keeping it to herself bc shes the luckiest person alive for having met me and that it was gonna be so hard because shes so difficult (shes not) and her anxiety is difficult but that she literally spent every night thinking about me and of buying plane tickets to come see me so that she could be with me. then she was like “im sorry if this is uncomfortable to you and you can just ignore it but i think im in love with you and this is over text and not romantic at all (it was the most romantic night of my life) but you’re asleep (i wasnt) and we arent together but i want to be one day” and until this i was Trying to fall asleep and then i checked my phone that kept RINGING and died a thousand times over and started to answer and she sent other texts saying “i’ve never felt this way about anyone before i’m so in love with you its fucking ridiculous and this is gonna be so complicated but fuck i want this so bad / i’m sorry it took me so long / would you move to new york with me?” and i was This Close to literally fucking exploding like. how the hell was this happening how was it not a DREAM. so we talked and i obviously said i loved her too and eventually she asked me out and thats still probably the best night of my life. other highlights: “i’ve loved you way before august 9th so jot that down” and “off topic but i love you / you’re honestly my other half” and, after i said “you cant make me laugh its 2am”, she answered “i’m going to make you laugh for the rest of your life so help me god” and thats my favorite thing anyone has ever said to me probably and so far she’s kept her word.

anyways we got back together and then she told me that she never even told her friends she broke up with me??? bc that way she could keep pretending we were still together???? literally like sjdksndk imagine being this loved. i dont have to. anyways she wrote poems abt me sometimes and her christmas gift for me was gonna be a book with all her poems and she called it “what we owe to each other” because of the good place (remember how i said it’d be relevant later? its later) bc like she said that when we were watching tgp together on rabb.it thats when she realized that she Really Truly liked me like For Real. and the inscription on the book was going to be “to the girl i love / and what i owe her” and. yall. i cry. anyways one of the poems had a huge impact on us. heres the story:

and she got them but we broke up before she got to mail them to me. what happened was she had some mental health problems and she said she couldnt give me what i needed at the time but knew i’d still give her my all bc thats just how i am and she thought it wouldnt be fair so she broke things off to work on her mental health. she said she would need some time before we could be friends. the last thing we said was that we loved each other. this was in like november 2018, and we didnt talk for months. i actually tried to move on this time after a while, but it didnt take. and then i gave up for good. havent tried since. but anyways, then, on march 11th, 2019, i had my first day of college back in my home country, and we have this “pranks”/games that seniors get to do to the freshmen, and one of them required eggs, and they asked us to paint them, so i panted mine as iron man bc it was easy, but c LOVES iron man. like. LOVES. like in a Whole New Level of loving. once when we were dating she said she loved me more than tony stark and i was like. shook. like she tattooed “T.S” on her ankle after him. u get the point. she loves him very much, its adorable and endearing and i love it. anyways. so i sent her a picture of it saying like “you dont have to answer this but i made this for my university and i thought you would like it” and she answered and IMMEDIATELY something clicked and we talked and talked and talked and it was never weird or awkward or uncomfortable. it never is with her. its incredible, i cant explain it. i Know shes my soulmate like thats the ONLY possible explanation for this kind of connection. its unreal. anyways. we became friends again! all was well.

then one beautiful night she drunk texts me sndjkajs she sends me so many texts and says it sucks that we live so far away and that she saw my posts (in this particular case, one that said something about like. when she talked about love now, was it about someone else?) and she said that it wasnt. and then she went to sleep and i only saw the texts when i woke up and i was DYING bc we had a 4 hour difference and it’d take a while for her to wake up. when she did, we talked and she said she wasnt over me and was scared she might never be, and even though we were still gonna stay friends, it was nice to know that she still loved me. ok so fast forward a bit more and i was starting to wonder if she’d moved on again, when she finds out her best friend had a crush on her, and that conversation ends up with her saying “it was 100% platonic for me / sorry if thats weird i just wanted you to know that” and it was NOT weird it was GREAT NEWS bc i was Hella jealous of her best friend and at first i wondered if they were dating and anyways the fact that she wanted me to know that was a pretty good hint that she still had feelings for me. ngl im still somewhat jealous of h (c’s best friend), but thats just bc im an insecure lil bitch and also bc they get to go out and do stuff together that i cant do with c bc of the distance, yknow? but anyways. then she went on a graduation trip in mid to the end of june and she bought me a magnet. just. out of nowhere. i cannot stress enough how Incredibly unexpected this was. so much so that i actually convinced myself that it meant she was over me????? literally. what the fuck. anyways we named him together and coincidentally (or bc of soulmate powers. who knows) we both had the same favorite names. i still love that.

okay so then we go to july 29th, 2019. first of all theres one of my favorite interactions Ever which was like after i was venting about something and i was thanking her and i said “you’re always here for me” to which she answered “nowhere else i’d rather be” and i still think thats peak romance and i will take no criticism on this. anyways so then she sent me a poem that she wrote based on a song i’d sent her (the song i called “heaven is a place” and its the BIGGEST mood for being in love and i sent it to her bc it was how i felt about her so her writing a poem about it?? literally the best thing ever. love it) anyways it was a beautiful poem and i cried and got very emotional and kinda went too far in my compliments (aka being very obvious about my romantic feelings) and then i was like oh no sorry if i made u uncomfortable and she was like. “you have NEVER. EVER EVER EVER EVER made me uncomfortable” “you’re the only person on planet earth i am comfortably myself around” and “there’s nothing you could ever say that i wouldn’t wanna hear” and anyways it was just very good and romantic conversation even tho we were just cough cough platonic hashtag gal pals hashtag no homo ✌️ and then she was like ok wait. i need to talk to u abt something. and in short she said she was waiting for us and i was like well what are you waiting for exactly? and she was like idk?? for us to accidentally bump into each other in new york in a few years?? WHICH WAS LITERALLY WHAT I’D DAYDREAM ABOUT BACK IN JUNE 2018 BEFORE SHE CAME BACK OKAY so anyways we had a Great conversation and said i love you about a thousand times each and she decided she was gonna buy tickets to come see me. and then she dID like TWO DAYS LATER. lichrally. queen of impulsivity but in the best way possible.

—————

ok quick edit here cuz i forgot to say that when i found out she was coming i asked for my mom’s help to make a necklace pendant for her from scratch. my mom works with prosthetics so she has the material to make jewelry and back when c and i were dating in 2018 i had made this lil design for a necklace that had the moon and the ocean (bc duh) and i was gonna give it to her for valentines day in 2019 but we broke up before that so i didnt get the chance, but when i found out i was meeting her i knew i had to. so i made the necklace in wax, like this:

and my mom took it to her work and heated it up to melt it and keep the shape of it to fill with silver, and this was the result:

i gave it to her when she got here and she wore it while she was here and it made me so happy. ok edit over

—————

ok so we kept being like couple-y but not officially in a relationship bc we didnt want to make her anxiety worse. also at one point she was like “so about the ‘i love you more than the moon/ocean’ thing, since we BOTH love BOTH of the moon AND the ocean, i think its only Fair if we update our love declarations to ‘i love you more than the mocean’ bc its mix of both but thats not a word, buT its pronounced exactly like ‘motion’. therefore we should both start saying ‘i love you more than the motion’”. so now we have both the wonderful, romantic, original version, and the NOT ROMANTIC AT ALL DO U HEAR ME C??? version :) and after this day she always started with the WORST!!!!!! version, and i always started with the Only Valid Version, but we’d still answer each other’s ofc because. well. thats love i gues?? it sorta goes like this though: her: i love you more than the motion / me: i hate u / me: i literally hate u so much / me: i Also love you more than the motion

but anyways she was coming to visit me but the plane ticket wasnt for my home country it was for where i was going to university at (a new university, i was starting over) and when i first got here on this campus, i didnt have a working phone number for this country, and i wouldnt be able to access the wifi for 3 days, so i had no way of talking to her. it was TERRIBLE and i missed her more than anything in my LIFE but when i got wifi (after CRYING to the people here bc theyre the most unorganized uni ever and i was already very overwhelmed and stressed) i immediately called her and she’d sent me over 100 text messages dkfjssjks it was amazing, there were two (2) videos of her singing (which is like. objectively the best thing in the world, and the song was rlly romantic and i love it sm when she showed it to me for the first time she said it made her think abt me), a poem, AND a HUGE text with “i love you” written like. a THOUSAND TIMES. seriously i have a gif of it opening and scrolling bc it was so long that the text wouldnt show up directly on the chat screen and u have to click on it to see the rest. i’d never felt more loved in my entire life by anyone ever. anyways so then it came the day for her to get here and i had to wake up at 5 am to go get her at the airport and the uber was like $40 but who CARES it was the best day of my LIFE and i got there 20 minutes earlier bUT GUESS WHAT SO DID SHE (hashtag just soulmate things) then we facetimed the entire time while she was walking through the airport and getting her luggage and then she hung up to walk to the door where i was and we hugged for like 5 minutes and we were totally in people’s way and also almost fell but it was the best thing in the world and i never should’ve let her go. but, we had to go home, so i did. and we spent 4 days together and im not gonna go into details bc this is already too long but u can always send me another ask about her visit if ur not a coward. also i bought her a hoodie from my uni and whenever she wears it i just. die. in short, those days were the happiest i’ve ever been. this campus res had never felt like home before that friday and it hasnt again since that monday, but i swear to god, during those 4 days, this was the only place i could possibly belong.

anyways then she left and i cried for the entire uber ride home and then i cried all day. lmao. also when she was here she gave me the poetry book, the magnet, and the bracelet. still wear the bracelet every single day and i love it more than anything. but then personal stuff happened and we kinda stopped being couple-y again and we’re just friends now but before new years i asked her if she still loved me and she said yes and she said she’d tell me if it changed so ✌️✌️ im assuming it hasnt. even tho my brain is a bitch and everyday its like. today. today is the day. this is when its gonna happen. buT yknow we’ve spent months before without even talking to each other and we got through that still in love, so i mostly ignore it. and tbh i know that actually like, even if we grow apart now (god forbid, but still) we’ll find our way back to each other eventually. like, i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again: nothing, not even the universe itself, can convince me that shes not my soulmate. and even if it turns out i’m not hers, loving her is still the greatest honor i can think of.

another edit: also i started drawing recently and the first person i’ve ever finished drawing was her and also (surprise surprise @c since you’re already seeing all my feelings anyway) bc of my second drawing i almost missed the deadline for one of my midterms (which was a take-home test) bc instead of writing it i spent the entire day before the deadline finishing the drawing which was a secret valentines day gift (secret as in she didnt know it was supposed to be a gift, she thought it was just a drawing inspired by a quote that she loves) and i finished at 2 am but shes 3 hours behind so for her it was still 11 pm which MEANS it was still valentines day so it still counts, i win, lesbian rights!

[eatsless]

I posted 3,210 times in 2021

91 posts created (3%)

3119 posts reblogged (97%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 34.3 posts.

I added 17 tags in 2021

#omg - 4 posts

#halloween - 3 posts

#text post - 2 posts

#!!! - 2 posts

#writing poems while im crying at work lol - 1 posts

#be a decent human being - 1 posts

#pfffffthahaha - 1 posts

#omg i need these??!!@ - 1 posts

#i am so excited these are so frickin cute - 1 posts

#oh my gosh - 1 posts

Longest Tag: 107 characters

#me: he looked rude and evil. who laughs like a freaking disney villain while trying to run someone over??!!

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Is it a bad idea to text my now ex gf that breaking up with me via text was fucked up? I have the text drafted up and ready to send. I'm just so mad. It feels so disrespectful that she did it thru text

3 notes • Posted 2021-03-16 20:18:02 GMT

#4

Total tmi and gross abt poop

Idk how to do a read more so here

Bc of my disordered eating and fucked diet, I had a poop build up in my butt. Like, the poop had hardened so it wouldnt come out, and what bits I did get out were bad enough that it tore my butt ouch so I took a ton of lax last night to try to force something and it worked but holy fucking hell it was painful and bloody and I crave death. It's been a hot minute since I had this happen, the last time was last year and it was much worse than this, but it hurts so bad omggg I feel as if someone rammed my unprepared ass with a fucking wine bottle like holy hell

3 notes • Posted 2021-03-02 14:27:25 GMT

#3

Lately a lot of people have been saying how small and boney i am, even today one of my coworkers was like "its 80 degrees outside and you're in a sweater, you're nothing but bones no wonder you're cold. You're tiny!" And I was just like. Aaaa yes. Dopamine how I've missed thee

3 notes • Posted 2021-04-08 03:50:34 GMT

#2

I saw a picture of my younger self,

Her blonde curls striking and her

Face so soft and

Innocent.

I started crying,

The things I've done to

This young girl are devastating,

I've destroyed her.

I'm sorry

3 notes • Posted 2021-07-30 13:05:57 GMT

#1

Since she broke up with me on friday 3/12, ive:

Gotten blackout drunk and passed out face down on the floor

Gone on a 6 mile hike

Had a photography day

Ate a lot of asian food and found a really cute affordable hibachi restaurant

Did a campfire and smores

Had a girls day lunch with my mom, mawmaw, and auntie

Built a bookshelf

Exercised a lot!!

Played animal crossing and just dance

Hung out with friends

Got high on some devils lettuce and ordered a cute banana pipe from etsy

Gone shopping

Listened to a lottt of vinyls

Made some new friends on bumble bff who seem really cool!!

7 notes • Posted 2021-03-19 16:52:35 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[irlcringekin]

Callout post: @toroidion @fckhand @mashcores @googledocz @1cm3 @tcnno @tarnmas @p976 @p15s @harmacysts tons of other urls-- SEXUALLY HARASSES AND ASSAULTS OTHER MINORS!!!

I apologize so much for posting this into fandom tags but he’s a Transformers fandom blogger and everyone needs to watch out. First off,

Here’s a list of shit this callout post covers:

him literally SEXUALLY ASSAULTING and SEXUALLY HARASSING MINORS.

him forcing nsfw/kink onto both MINORS and adults.

him being very emotionally manipulative (guilt tripping, threatening suicide to force people to be friends with him, etc.)

SO TW FOR ALL OF THAT.

Here are his blogs:

@38 (current url!!!)

@fckhand  (he goes back to this url a lot)

@googledocz  (past url)

@8752  (previous url)

@1cm3

@tcnno (a previous url)

@tarnmas (a previous url)

@roughbf (some sort of active sideblog)

@ctdc (an old tfkin group chat he had -- this is where he’s proved to harass people the most!!)

@pcrv (old URL - still online) 

@p15s (old URL - still online)

@skrnr (old blog - recently taken by the Woody Collectives)

@breakpng-remade (an old blog when he used to ID as Breakdown)

@harmkin (an old blog he used to stalk people on to send them n.s.f.w)

Past URLs:

toroidion

incelreaper

magistream

oddcorn

harmacysts

harmacysts-remade

ctnet

cybertronnet

breakdovvn

breakpng

skrnr

soliqsnake

paralons

Names he goes by to watch out for:

Pharma

Para / Paralon

Docs

Griev

Grim

Ten

Break(down)

He’s a minor himself but that does NOT excuse him from literally sexually assaulting other minors and putting them in danger within multiple group chats.

Please PLEASE PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU CAN!

Note: some people in this post are kin with certain characters. If someone is using a character name, it’s because of that. Don’t attack them about this.

Note: those whose names/urls/etc. are not censored gave FULL PERMISSION to be included and not censored in this post.

Note: again, this person is indeed a minor too (which doesn’t excuse him at all) but please do not harass him. Block him and spread the word to protect other minors!

He sexually assaults other minors:

It’s been my personal experience of being with him in group chats that many times he has just been asked to stop talking nsfw/kink because he’s a minor or it just made people/other minors uncomfortable. However, most of the time, he either refused or said he’d stop... only to continue. That’s all I’ve experienced. This obviously isn’t enough to warrant a callout post, however...

HE HAS RECENTLY WENT SO FAR AS TO MASTURBATE WHILE ON CALL WITH A MINOR (15) WHO WAS TOO FUCKING SCARED TO TELL HIM TO STOP.

I’ve been given permission by the person he assaulted to say who they are: it was @t4ilgate he assaulted.

It started off with someone messaging me about it:

Note that @/harmacysts aka @fckhand (now @toroidion) fakes being a system in order to get out of most of the shit he starts. Ie. “oh my other alter did that, not me, so I can’t take responsibility for my actions!”

I later got proof of his sexual assault and harassment on a tumblr user by the URL of @t4ilgate (again, permission was given to make their url public):

JUST BECAUSE THIS PERSON DIDNT SAY NO AND FELT PRESSURED INTO IT, DOESNT MEAN ITS OK. THIS WAS FORCED UPON THEM. THEY LITERALLY SAY THAT THEY DIDNT SAY NO BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO FUCKING SCARED TO SPEAK UP.

He later tried to defend them not speaking up as them “giving consent”:

“They should not have given me the slightest consent if they didn’t want it” SILENCE AND FEAR IS NOT CONSENT.

“i gave them the option to say no multiple times” THEY WERE TOO SCARED OF YOU TO SAY NO. ALSO ACCORDING TO THEM,

YOU DIDNT AT ALL.

“I’m genuinely trying to get better” YOU WOULDNT FORCE NSFW/KINKS AND YOURSELF ONTO OTHER MINORS IF YOU ACTUALLY WERE.

And here it is CONFIRMED that they were pressured and scared/forced into this shit:

[ @/t4ilgate: i really tried to hint at trying to make things slow down when he started getting too sexual with me. he just kept asking and asking me until i just felt really pressured to just agree. he really took advantage of me, especially since i had something really similar like this happen before, i was distressed abt upsetting him. he kept asking me over and over how i was feeling, and asking me if i knew what he was feeling and doing. he kept insisting that i should be blunt whenever he did.

(name redacted): god - im so sorry you had to go through that ]

Again allow me to emphasize:

“he just kept asking and asking me until i just felt really pressured to just agree. he really took advantage of me, especially since i had something really similar like this happen before, i was distressed abt upsetting him.”

And in response to his “public apology”:

[ @/t4ilgate: HAHAHAHA W O W OK THEN - 'consent' oh, you mean, constantly badgering me until my 'i dont know, im not sure' turns into '....ok' - 70% of the call was spent doing sexual activities he spent so long trying to convince me to do. - get fucked. ]

HE DID THIS WITHOUT CONSENT AND EXCUSED EVERYTHING WITH “but... [after i intensely pressured and forced them into it] they barely said ok so it’s consensual!”

BADGERING SOMEONE UNTIL THEY GIVE IN IS NOT CONSENT. YOU ARE A FUCKING SEXUAL ASSAULTER AND YOU’VE POTENTIALLY TRAUMATIZED A MINOR FOR YOUR OWN SEXUAL GRATIFICATION.

I hope you have fun living with this knowledge for the rest of your life.

--

And here’s him being asked to leave, saying he’s “so sorry” for sexually assaulting someone, (note: the person telling him to leave says that he’s done this to MULTIPLE PEOPLE SO HE IS A REPEATED OFFENDER AND DANGER):

As you can see, him asking “are you sure you want me to leave [after sexually assaulting a member of your chat]” outright shows that he’s not even considerate of how others feel LET ALONE THE PERSON HE ASSAULTED. He asks after sexually assaulting someone if they really want him to leave. Which, no shit asshole who WOULDNT want you to leave.

As a trauma survivor myself, this utterly disgusts me that this person @/harmacysts aka @fckhand (now @38) who is also the owner of @/ctnet would go so far as to WILLINGLY TRAUMATIZE ANOTHER MINOR FOR SEXUAL GRATIFICATION.

That’s cocsa even if it’s not physical or in-person, it’s still a form of sexual assault and harassment and I feel so fucking bad for the person (people?) he’s sexually harassed.

It gets worse!!!!

HE ALSO MADE A BLOG ABOUT THIS POOR MINOR AND HIS SEXUAL FANTASIES ABOUT THEM AND HARASSED THEM ON THERE TOO

Apparently this has happened BEFORE with other people as well many times:

[@/t4ilgate: -and really sexually affectionate, but i never knew he’d do that w/out asking me first - YEAH - like he even made a nsfw vent blog to talk about him lusting over me and just feels so bad and wrong i hate it i hate it

(name redacted): he did that to us too

@/t4ilgate: the url used to be harmkin - seriously???

(name redacted): he used to have a blog called fakegimmick and he’d vague about wanting to fuck us (all 17+ year olds) all the time

@/t4ilgate: that’s so fucking sick holy shit i never knew

(name redacted): and he’d even send us the links to the shit he’d vague - it was so fucking uncomfortable - he even made fun of sex-repulsion]

Him making nsfw blogs to literally stalk and harass other minors sexually and to talk about them sexually is fucking creepy. He was asked to stop multiple times but DID NOT EVER STOP. This is harassment, this is cocsa, and this is disgusting.

If that wasn’t enough, then here’s more of what he’s done:

UPDATE!! -- his new url has changed to @38 !

@tcnno used to be a previous url (proof):

[ like… i know ive been denying everything this whole time but… the person that was called out is in our system. im a newer host. i tried to get away from the whole thing because im a coward but that’s irrelevant. the point is that im letting go of my role as host and Pharma is taking that. if anyone is uncomfortable just leave the server its all fine. i doubt im going dormant but we’ll see. im really sorry i have to do this everything is too much for me to handle right now.

if anyone wants anything cleared out just ask. pharma is here with me so he can ask questions as well.

by the way feel free to screenshot that because im not hiding anymore.

oh and if you dont know whats going on just… ((link to the callout against him)) yeah. he doesnt do that kind of shit anymore and is getting better but still if anyone is uncomfortable, feel free to cut contact ] --- source (tcnno)

please note that he has excused his manipulative and abusive behavior and even the fact that he has sexually harassed a minor with his “system” and “headmates” before!!!!!

He has said MANY TIMES that he has “changed”!!

this is normal manipulative behavior for him. please do not fall for it! he is STILL VERY MUCH A DANGER!!

and he’s since then moved to @1cm3 as stated on his blog:

and from this blog you can find a url trail from 1cm3 to @incelreaper and then back to the old @fckhand and over to @arknights  and over to @mashcores and then to @googledocz where he deleted most of his content and then to 8752 where he seems to go back to the url @fckhand a lot where he admitted he was googledocz. he is now @38

UPDATE: HE JOKES ABOUT SEXUALLY HARASSING PEOPLE AND ADMITS HE DOESNT FEEL BAD ABOUT WHAT HE DID!

I guess he saw the callout post and all he did was make jokes about it and thus him sexually harassing people:

and then even say he “feels bad but also not”:

He forces nsfw/kink onto both other minors and adults:

Many people have come to me telling me that in all of the group chats he runs and/or is in, he has tried to force nsfw/kink shit onto minors MANY TIMES.

The below pictures in this next part include him going so far as to force nsfw/kink onto his old ex datemate. He’s went so far as to completely ignore their boundaries and they make commentary here and there about how scared they were (tw for vaguely nsfw implied text - but nothing outright nsfw):

[ @/harmacysts: we still have that thing you suggested - we should do that eventually.

--- A note from his ex who we’ll call “Tracer”: I didn’t suggest it. ]

===

[ @/harmacysts: well i just remembered a thing from our past and im-

“Tracer”: ???????

Harmacysts: try to guess

---  A note from his ex: here im playing along bc im too scared to do anything else ]

===

and here is where his ex datemate tried to LEAVE THE SITUATION but he kept forcing it further:

Nothing is outwardly nsfw but his ex is clearly very VERY uncomfortable and tries to literally escape the situations he puts them in MULTIPLE TIMES to the point where they feel SCARED of him.

There were also a few other instances of him forcing nsfw/kink onto people:

He has posted pictures of himself wearing a collar in a group chat he used to be in. This made a lot of people very uncomfortable as he’s a minor so they had to delete the pic he sent. During the time he was wearing it/sent the pic, he kept talking about how “age regressed” he was and then later on called his age regression “pet regression” (possible fetishization of age regression and trauma?)

After being called out about it, instead of apologizing and trying to make things better, he deleted most of the shit he sent and ran from the situation and left the group chat, unable to take people telling him to stop posting nsfw things.

Most of it was deleted including the picture he posted, but here is where he sent it:

note: NO ONE told him to send it and NO ONE told him that it was ok to. Here’s proof that they did not encourage him AT ALL and even told him to NOT post it:

and here’s the aftermath of it where, when being talked to about it and asked to stop in a calm manner, he immediately guilt trips the person telling him to stop:

[caption:

(Name redacted): I apologize but you didn’t have to leave. All I was asking was for you to not post such things into a chat with adults and - Yeah a few people have also mentioned that it made them incredibly uncomfortable as well as adults. I also don’t understnad the issue with me asking you to not post such things, and for adults to be informed of you being a minor.

Harmacysts: no its just best im not there at all]

However, after that, he once again began to force collars and kink shit onto people DESPITE BEING TOLD TO STOP MULTIPLE TIMES:

Here’s where people tell him to stop:

Note, these are taken from multiple group chats,

[ (name redacted): you NEED TO STOP POSTING THIS SHIT its making so many people uncomfortable and youre a MINOR. this isnt an nsfw chat. this is a sfw chat. and even if we did allow nsfw, YOURE A MINOR YOU NEED TO FUCKING STOP OR ELSE WE’RE GOING TO BOOT YOU FOR GOOD, OK? ]

[ (name redacted): pleasee stop this is really uncomfortable im a minor and i dont wanna see this stuff.... please??? idc if youre a minor too i want you to stop!! ]

He’s made EVERYONE both minors and adults uncomfortable. He forces nsfw/kink shit onto minors. He forces it onto adults too. No matter how much people ask him to stop, he doesn’t.

He’s caused multiple minors harm and has even triggered quite a few of them into panic attacks with his blatant sexual harassment.

I can’t stress it enough that even though he’s a minor himself, THIS IS NOT OK --- LET ALONE THE FACT THAT HE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED ANOTHER MINOR!!

He’s very emotionally manipulative:

Here are some accounts of him emotionally manipulating, guilt tripping, threatening suicide, and even trying to break relationships up out of jealousy.

This will be a mixture of people’s encounters with him and screenshots of what he’s said/done.

[ (name redacted): one of the only things that made me stay and wait for him to get better was the fact he used to guilt trip me with "i think i would have kms if i hadn't ever met you" which made me feel important but burdened WITH A FUCKING HUMAN LIFE ]

=====

[ (Name redacted #1): all he said when i once commented about the age difference between his first two relationships i knew of was "i can see why it's not everyone's thing" like................. hey

(Name redacted #2): oh my god

(Name redacted #3): so he perpetuates gross age gaps - also he’s still shoving his nsfw kink talk into minor’s faces - he’s doing it in other group chats

(Name redacted #4): UGh ]

so he advocates and even perpetuates for adult/minor and age-gap relationships.

=====

a few emotionally manipulative and guilt-trippy things he’s said but nothing too serious to warrant a callout post by itself, but it’s still something to include to show his general behavior:

(he apparently used to go by this name and icon in a different chat)

EDIT as of 21/01/2018: since then, he has been changing to numerous URLs, FULLY PRETENDING TO BE OTHER PEOPLE, and trying to drag new people into his shit. He’s hurt even more people according to a few sources and STILL tries to excuse his actions with weak apologies and saying that he “has changed and improved”:

[[ Pharmy boy (aka harmacysts/fckhand -- now @toroidion): yeah ik its really bad but if you need an apology/explanation or something i can provide one? just first off its been 5 months since everything Happened. ive improved a lot since then and i dont condone those types of things at all. it was very stupid of me and i take all the responsibility for it. i mightve been 14 at the time but that doesnt take away how bad it is.  ((continued))--

I am trying my best. So first off yeah I did do sexual things on call with another person when i hadnt been given a proper answer, and i did pressure them into it. I admit that. I didnt mean to hurt them, I genuinely thought it was ok, but now i know better. i do feel very guilty for what i did. ill be more careful in the future and am sure to not repeat the same thing ever again.

then theres me talking about nsfw when people were telling me to stop. obviously thats not a right thing to do either, as everyone was clearly uncomfortable with it. i wont repeat that either, and will look after it myself.

theres also me blaming things on alters, and not taking responsibility for what they mightve done. i dont remember exactly what happened but from now on im sure to take note of what they do and apologize for them.  ((note: he is NOT an actual system, does not have DID, and only started to claim to be one after he got friends who also claimed to be systems))

ive also bee manipulative in the past, and ive taken note of it. i used to guilt trip people and say shit like “no one loves me and youre lying” etc etc but i promise i will not do that again.

the only time i ever did stuff like that was the ones mentioned, i havent done the same before, and neither will i do it again.  ((false: he has done many more things that weren’t documented due to him deleting messages after he was told off or called out))

sorry thats a bit sloppy.

but like. i promise ive improved, and i still am. ill continue to improve from now on as well, you can give me a chance to prove that if you so desire.

bottomtron: sorry but, literally, i cant. my abuser of 3 years that ruined my life was like this and i even physically lived with him. im sure youll get better in time but 5 months isnt long and my gut tells me to just do what i feel is right. so i hope you have a good run in life and you do get better. ]]

however, despite harmacysts/fckhand’s claims, he actually HAS NOT changed and continues to sexually harass and perhaps even groom other minors:

plus it should be quite obvious that 5 months is barely enough time, especially since there has been little difference in his behaviour.

Small edit as of 2018/07/30 --- fckhand (now @38) proves that he STILL has not changed and does not care about nor respect any of his friends’ decisions to leave him after they find out what he has done.

He has no changed, will not change, and refuses to respect peoples’ decisions even after claiming for ages now that he does. He is lying.

TLDR --- this person @fckhand (now @38) literally sexually harassed another minor under the guise that their silence and fear was consent. He pressured them into it and harmed them. He’s extremely manipulative and toxic and is KNOWN to force nsfw/kink onto other minors. since then, he has been lying and trying to worm his way back into fandoms and people’s lives.

again do not harass him but by all means please reblog this post, block him, and tell others!

[thefreshchannel]

Hey I'm newish to the td fandom so do mind me asking who Tasha is?

I guess since she seems to have deleted i can tell the story now lmao

She was basically a fake identity created to harass """the populars™""" like if u heard of jaded teenage girl tashalovesnirvana u probably already know what her personality was like, but the td fanbase was basically her origins and it is an incredibly long story to tell u every little thing shes done so a tl;dr would be tasha is basically a harasser/stalker who traumatized a lot of people for many years. like she pretended to be so many other people and was very out for blood lmao. Also she was a fake persona, along w many others, created by the creator of theconfessioncam herself cherri (who hasnt been online since new years 2015) to make everyone miserable for “kicking her out the td fandom” 

BUT IF U WANNA KNOW THE FULL STORY IT’S UNDER A CUT CAUSE BOI IS IT LONG AND TYPING IT FELT UNREAL

I already spoke abt theconfessioncam so we'll just skip to the day the person behind it was exposed. The person behind it was called cherri (isabelle was her real name but we all called her cherri bc it was in her url)

Cherri was infamous amongst the fanbase bc she shipped chrindsay and wouldn't understand why others didn't, was mostly anti sj/w, liked and defended the one character who shall not be named at the time people were calling out the issues they had w the character (all ppl calling out the issues being neurodivergent while she was neurotypical also this is discourse i am not willing to touch again so dont even think abt sending asks about this lmao), created the phrase "screw you i'm getting my duncney on" and constantly commenting abt why the fandom was toxic and shit like that. Most people would ignore her at first until after theconfessioncam turned out to be her. Many people presented proof and evidence and now she was public enemy #1 like no one liked her and one night everyone started calling her out for her shit and like she immediately blew up. On everyone. I'm p sure after that night the whole plot started.

So like. Shortly after comes a person called "holly-so-jolly" (who then became holly-smokes-molly for a short period of time in late 2015? 2016? fuck idk but her fame was very short but thats another story)Holly befriended cherri and her group of uglies so fast by always being like "wow fuck the populars"  

the populars, a term coined in by theconfessioncam's anons, referred to ppl who would argue a lot abt smthn and others would agree w over well, cherris gang. Anyways holly would almost immediately always start a fight w the populars or say some problematic shit or stan for cherri a lot. I know y'all are wondering what this has to do w tasha but trust me we'll get there lol

A few days (maybe a day or two) after holly joins the fanbase, a new hateblog (SPECIFICALLY MADE TO SEND HATE ABOUT THE POPULARS) popped up. The populars would get anons about the hate blog seeing as it was so brand new that it wouldnt show up in the tag just yet. And these confessions were CRUEL. Like wishing death/murder upon these ppl, encouraging self harm, harassing minors (literally under 16 at the time), ableist comments, racism, transphobia, homophobia like it was all there. Someone else faked a new blog agreeing w these confessions and managed to speak to the new hate blog (this was someone who was undercover and managed to expose the person running that hateblog, which ended up being holly)

Holly then changed her url to winner-challenged to try to impersonate ryan, but them claimed to be other 2 people making an april fool's joke (in february no less lmao) and then she changed her persona completely to desireesparx and tried to pass off as a new person in the fanbase. But it didnt work and she deleted as fast as she came in. Antitotaldramapopulars only lasted one day. On the same day, theconfessioncam was deleted. People suspected cherri was behind all this all to which she claimed she wasnt but we all know the truth lol.

After holly hell, tasha fiasco started. And boy was tasha fucking persistent. Like she came in early 2014, and only JUST NOW DELETED. It is 2017.

Tasha-loves-duncney was ?? I guess ur basic td blogger who just loved duncney? No one had any thoughts of her at first until she made a post about not understanding why people hated mike. So people went on to explain. And i forgot rlly what happened but like tasha started getting more aggressive. Like she would reblog "the populars'" personal posts and mock them, she even added a comment hoping for the person's house to fall on them. Someone then made the "fly away tasha" comment and she CRIED because apparently she had been bullied for having a bird nose and been told that before so it only made the phrase stick. She then made an entire post saying rape wasnt bad or some weird ugly shit like that, and even after that she still had a few ppl supporting her (mostly other anti s/jws in the fanbase and cherris old friends ((also CHERRI WAS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND OR SEEN! SHE DISAPPEARED DURING ALL THIS LOL))) And that's when we all were all over her and i'm p sure it was when all the hate blogs came back.

I'm not sure if maybe i'm confusing it for another hateblog or if there was another one before this one (or i'm getting the timeline wrong bc is2g tasha deleted and came back so many times) but a confession blog popped up called "camerainthepotty" or smthn along the lines that just seemed to post whatever random weird asks ppl would send them. Then during that night it converted to tdgossipgirls and ?? It was such a weird blog lmao like just like antitotaldramapopulars, it aimed to bully the fandom populars in burn book style ? Tabloid magazine style? Point is we all knew it was tasha lmao and at this point it started to become clear who tasha really was. Whatever hateblog it was it would post fake edited asks allegedly sent by the populars themselves which gave us great classics such as "king bee ryan outtie!"

Anyways tasha liked another populars' personal post and people told her to delete bc it was a super heavy personal post. She claimed it was for support but like she finally deleted. And we were tasha clear for a few months? Weeks? (someone even took the url i think) so she then came back as "tashasbackbitches" and boi was she mad lmao. The whole tag asked her to fly away and she took a screenshot of it and claimed bullying. She then tried to ruin ale//noah day by posting pics of dunc/ney which compared to all she's done this is the most tame thing she had done but ppl were still mad abt that anyways lol. So i think a day later she made the anti-winnerchallenged blog specifically aimed at ryan for whatever reason. She ""accidentally"" made a post for anti-winnerchallenged on tashasbackbitches but like once ppl pointed it out something even weirder happened like it sounds fucking unreal but apparently it was a fake tasha???? According to real tasha??? Who was now back as "tashalovesduncney" with no hyphens?? And going to people's inbox saying that tashasbackbitches WAS NOT HER And that she had proof on her blog bc there was a pic of her holding a piece of paper w her url written on it and also an audio post explaining what happened.

So tashasbackbitches was deleted and now we were stuck with tashalovesduncney. Which at first was??? Idk but the audio post on her blog sounded high pitched like. It didnt sound like no human voice lmao. Also the pic of her had the piece of paper edited in. So someone pointed it out and like. She immediately assumed another ""popular"", cass, had sent it. And when i tell u this tasha was DARK AND OUT FOR BLOOD, I MEAN IT LMAO. Like tasha clung on to cass ever since. She would @ them and all that shit on posts and like. This tasha was out to attack. She would constantly say awful shit abt the populars and @ them in her posts, or she would @ well known anti sj/w blogs (such as p0ppypicklesticks, swimmninda/privilege u name it) and encourage them to slay our sjw asses. Not only that but now there was an anti-deadbyshawn blog to aim hate at cass specifically.

I guess at some point someone else came in the fandom by the name of staceyd123 and was received in many different ways like1. People assuming this was tasha2. People defending her bc she was a minor3. Tasha encouraging her to befriend her

However a lot of ppl started to believe this was a different person. She did befriend tasha and a lot of the ppl in the fandom and bc she was a minor a lot of the older kids protected her from tasha and constantly warned her. Sometime between that antitdpopulars came back and more fake asks were posted, populars were being blamed on for the blog to bring attention to themselves. Not sure if it was earlier or at this exact time but i think it would tie into the next event better.

so tasha and stacey had this BIG FIGHT i guess cause stacey outed tasha for running the new anti populars blog and in this fight tasha blamed stacey for staceys parents divorcing and stacey claimed tasha clipped her toenails in a voice call and like. It was so odd at this point tasha started making fake asks about the people who supported her lmao. Then she would submit herself to blogs to send love to ppl being bullied and then those ppl would fight us and the whole night was a mess. Stacey had deleted and then tasha kept her url. I'm p sure sometime later tasha deleted too?? She came back as a sideblog the next time.  

Stacey came back a bit around the same time and ofc had ppl on her side welcoming her back. Almost immediately. Another new persona came in at the time too known as ""fucknmacine18??"" He changed the url to "thechazmeister" or whatever but he was basically a dumb white straight dude fake persona that claimed to have abandoned the south park fandom. Once in the td fandom, he would reblog a lot of the girls selfies and make comments on them also claiming to fall in love w one of the populars? Two of the populars? Idk but point is him being there was. Irrelevant for a while. He would send uncomfortable asks to stacey apparently and also told tasha to fly away/rejected her or some weird shit that happened there idk the story of that but i know tasha was trying to befriend him and flirting w him lmao.

Several hateblogs came out too, one being psychoanalyzing the populars which would reveal incredibly personal information about them (based on their personal posts) and evaluate them. It was a really fucked up blog and no one knew how on earth she managed to get that information. The other one was very tame, it was battleofthepopulars or smthn like that which consisted of the populars being in a td  like setting and each being voted off everyday and like. No one rlly paid attention to it lol. In the end when she booted off one of the populars, she ranted that it was bc she had blamed cherri for something she didn't even do. Which was suspicious seeing as tasha wasnt here around that time, meaning this person knew about cherri being exposed as theconfessioncam.

During that same time, tasha was still very much clinging onto cass. Sending them fanmails as she couldnt send asks since she was on a sideblog. Meaning she followed ppl on an unknown main blog. Cass would receive over 200 fanmails a day from tasha. Tasha even changed her blog's url to match cass'. One night tasha got tired of being ignored and blackmailed cass into talking to them, or their friends would be harassed. The main tag was full of tasha posting edited pictures of ryan on the main td tag, personal posts of another one of cass' friends with the read more code taken off. It was a horrible night. But in the end tasha exposed her main blog was staceyd123. Tasha had faked being stacey which would explain how she managed to get the personal information for her psychoanalyzations blog. She explained it was because she was someone who got kicked out of the fandom by “tortellani and the other populars” and that she finally knew what it was like living like a popular. She then proceeded to spam the tag w animal gore knowing it was a heavy trigger for one of the populars. Stacey/tasha then deleted. Never to be heard of until...oh no wait, we almost forgot our buddy chaz.

So chaz stuck around and made dumb posts and like. No one really cared for him. Until he wanted to be seen as a threat so he made a hate blog on american thanksgiving day taking the populars' descriptions on their mobile blogs and making them bad adding racist/homophobic commentary. It was here where he stole 2 urls belonging to two other populars and tried to pass off as them. Cass had remade, but chaz took their current url (hottiemcfright) as well as the tortellani url belonging to the other person who had changed urls to avoid traffic from TiA. So that night chaz. God it was a blur but he pretended to be those two people and filled the tag w a bunch of animal gore. Tumblr did jump on that and deleted him. Chaz was another of tasha's personas so, NOW we don't hear of tasha until february of 2015.

So now under the url: tashalovesnirvana, she sent popular bloggers racist slurs thinking she was on anon and then begged for them not to be posted and theyre posted for everyone to read. No one thought twice about it when the screenshots were going around but eventually ppl in the td fanbase noticed that tasha had sent those. And i mean, you can basically look this up as it spread from just the td fandom to literally all of tumblr knew about her. They made her asks into copypastas. And it got rlly funny bc at some point she didnt even know who kurt cobain was.

Anyways after this mess she deleted but she came back. Except this time tumblr updated the blocking system so it could actually work. And boy did it work well. Tasha did get 15 minutes of fame (or less) again when she came back but everyone would just block her and she would never be heard of again. She was still there reblogging posts from the ppl she hated toLet them know. She would try to get their attention but. The moment she would contact them she'd get hit w the block button. So naturally she brought back her persona "holly" as a stoner girl "holly-smokes-molly" who also had a short lived fame but then, again, people stopped caring after they had blocked her.  One of her comebacks was her coming back as a woke feminist but no one else cared about her. Tasha was an old meme, so 2 years ago. No one else gave attention to her.

In 2017 she finally deleted. Like the url isnt even hoarded so that's how u know that it's all done. It took 3 years for her to leave us alone. 3 traumatizing years. A lot of the people involved were minors too.

I know i probably messed up some parts of this or got confused w the many hateblogs she made but like. Trust me when i say that she remade so many times it's hard to keep track of all the weird shit she has done. Also i've been typing this since 8am and i still shake a bit thinking about this lol.