#make it yours the world alaps your wrist ir trips you so you srop it or makes it burn and shrivel in your palms.... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

oddt · 1 year

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I am exhausted

I deserve calm, security, appreciation and love at least for a year

No more radical happenings please, I haven't had one calm year in my life since I was a teen. It isn't funny anymore, isn't exciting...

2016 the last good year (although I've already been dealing with systematic anxiety for 3 years, denied by everyone to whom I spoke about it)

2017 ed plus depression - went on until 2021

When I finally got my head together and went to therapy, moved out, I had peace for 4 months then my 15yo dog died and I was in a really toxic friend geoup which caused a lot of damage, 2022 finally overcame my anxiety and found healthy ways to cope with depression and immediately went into a 7month toxic relationship with somebody who I am convinced is an untreated bipolar psychopath to this day..

2023 got out of that, finally got a decent wonderful beautiful job with absolutely wonderful community and now this fucking stable thing that's existed for decades is on the verge of bankruptcy.... Because of poor leadership.

I can't anymore?

Where is peace at? Lost, does such thing actually exist or were we lied to the same way we are about love? No peace and no love in this world. Living hell. That's what it is. Full of deluded psychopaths and wicked paths of trouble ....

#no more i can't take this #i also think that cibema should never be watched and art shouldn't be perceived for it liea it is hope eenclosed in a vision of what couldb #and every child that is ao unfortunately born onto this floating speculation of existence from now on ahould never be allowed to experience #art but instead just live life as it and see the teuth of this dreadful dying place.#no more words.#thank god for my friends and my grandmother if it wasn't for them i would be gone gone and away #what hurts the most is actually seeing and feeling only barely what life could be like and the instantly having the ground pulled from under #your feet just when you reach for it #the world tells you “yes go on #“hold it for a second it is yours you can have that now rest” and when you just get familiar with that thing and finally adapt to it and #make it yours the world alaps your wrist ir trips you so you srop it or makes it burn and shrivel in your palms....#how cruel and unjust tothe people who care with their hearts? why?#we love in a world made for the souless.

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