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#the world tells you “yes go on
oddt · 1 year
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I am exhausted
I deserve calm, security, appreciation and love at least for a year
No more radical happenings please, I haven't had one calm year in my life since I was a teen. It isn't funny anymore, isn't exciting...
2016 the last good year (although I've already been dealing with systematic anxiety for 3 years, denied by everyone to whom I spoke about it)
2017 ed plus depression - went on until 2021
When I finally got my head together and went to therapy, moved out, I had peace for 4 months then my 15yo dog died and I was in a really toxic friend geoup which caused a lot of damage, 2022 finally overcame my anxiety and found healthy ways to cope with depression and immediately went into a 7month toxic relationship with somebody who I am convinced is an untreated bipolar psychopath to this day..
2023 got out of that, finally got a decent wonderful beautiful job with absolutely wonderful community and now this fucking stable thing that's existed for decades is on the verge of bankruptcy.... Because of poor leadership.
I can't anymore?
Where is peace at? Lost, does such thing actually exist or were we lied to the same way we are about love? No peace and no love in this world. Living hell. That's what it is. Full of deluded psychopaths and wicked paths of trouble ....
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the-moogs · 3 months
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marlene loves when her gay aunts babysit her 🎀
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months
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MDZS x ISAT part 2: Grandmaster of Time.
(Part 1)
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moeblob · 3 months
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A lil guy !
#honkai star rail#dan heng#genuinely have a million things i wanna draw and then zero energy#so dan heng in a hoodie#now i gotta go get dinner sooooo maybe that will give energy and then i can draw more of what i actually wanna draw#but i kinda spent like ... hours ? talking to my mom earlier today#since shes been in the hospital for many many days#so i was catching her up on whats been goin on and showed her silly lil videos#and telling her how hyped i was for summer hrid and she (very patient with my fe talk)#was like you always tell me about banners being bad so it must have made you REALLY happy to say the whole banner is good#and im like yeah and i had multiple people on multiple sites like hey salmon/moeblob did ya see the banner#and she was like thats so cool that people acknowledge who you like and im like yeah it is p cool#and then i told her how mad i was at the absolutely criminal act of limiting how you can watch clue (1985 hit movie)#like i told her yeah sure i own it twice on dvd and once on itunes and that the only way to watch those#are either desktop or ps2 and how i dont have access to my itunes email#and i dont have it on my laptop so i sadly would have to rebuy the movie on itunes under a new acct#then i said how i loved that it was free to watch with ads on yt and id watched it twice that way#but then recently wanted to watch it on there but laptop and hoo boy you have to buy or rent it now#so i v angrily was like fine whatever ill do the thing and leave my room and go watch it on my moms tv#while she isnt around and use her amazon prime where it should be included except ! IT WASNT!#YOU HAVE TO HAVE PRIME TO BUY OR RENT IT NOW TOO!#HOW ARE THEY DOING THIS AND WHY ! who in the world is watching this movie so much that isnt me that they have to charge for it now#on all platforms unless you straight up pirate it#and hey why would i of all people be needing to pirate a movie i own physically two times and digitally once#this is literally a personalized attack to me#and my mom was like i understand how you feel cause yeah thats really weird to do to a 1985 movie#and im like yes exactly i have morals and principles that make me opposed to this and its v maddening#and she said she understood and its ok next time we are having power issues and i have to shut down#that if i really wanna watch it i can rent it on her amazon account and i looked at her and shes like oh you feel v strongly about this#and i do! I HAVE HAD IT GIFTED TO ME TWICE ! I BOUGHT IT ONCE! WHY DO I HAVE TO RENT IT FOR MORE MONEY!
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I’ve been highly confused as to why Michael “deeply openly thirsting on Twitter about David Tennant for half a decade” Sheen is half-in half-out the closet but apparently Wales is absurdly homophobic lmao what the fuck how is a country the size of New Jersey that much of a hater bruh we out number the shit out of you
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bride-and-bride · 6 months
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Saw a neat Fourcheanult post about the ways in which he sucks but tragically I cannot reblog without at least SOME analysis on how the loss of Louisoix would impact his choices and views on his children's actions
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pettyprocrastination · 2 months
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so sorry but bridgerton!Simon Riley where he was the son of a butcher but then became a soldier and rose through the ranks with help due to his (incredibly) wealthy captain John price that left him sitting comfortably when he returned home but still looked down upon because of his status as "new money" in the aristocratic society. Just as grouchy and rude as he was before, but now with the money to gamble as he wishes and a grand estate to spend his days alone on.
but then his captain is pulling him out into the public eye by force because the season is arriving and all the eligible debutantes are looking for a husband and "I wont have you drink yourself to death completely alone, Riley" but low and behold all the motherfucker does is stand in a corner with a drink and stare all goddamn night. On the off chance that some poor woman comes up and strikes a conversation with him she's left less than pleased with his one word answers and walks away with a sour face when he inevitable says something foul mouthed. The night goes the same until he sulks off when price is busy dancing with his wife-
imagine his surprise when he slips outside to find you, one of the eligible noble ladies he found particularly enticing sneaking a cigarette in the garden, who doesn't turn up her nose in judgement when he rolls up his sleeves and asks if he can bum one off of you.
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eeveekitti · 5 months
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WC/RW DAY 6: RIVULET
this would be bubblebounce, a lighthearted and fun drizzleclan warrior! they're the most talented swimmer and fisher in the clan, which is quite useful in their marshy territory
nobody quite knows where she came from, but standing theories among clanmates include being a former kittypet, or a cat from a far-off clan despite the mystery, bubblebounce is quite popular among their clan for their bubbly [ha] demeanor! she even has two mates-- one of the healers, flowerheart, and a certain cat with a thirst for violence....
the flowers in her cheek fur are pink rain lilies! you get a cookie from bubblebounce if you can connect the meaning of those flowers to their lore /silly
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sn0wbat · 10 months
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well what family doesn't keep a secret vampire family member hidden deep in in the basement /s
EDIT: Rest of the comic is now under the cut!
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BONUS:
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cromulentreader · 3 months
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I wish the deleted ending for TQoN was the real ending and not what we got in the mortal world.
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hella1975 · 2 months
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would you like to talk about how bad the mha ending was hella
as much as i would love to give like. a comprehensive response i genuinely dont think i can get my words together just yet without it being a constant unintelligble stream of 'AND ANOTHER THING-' and bc it's become quite torn in the fandom on if the chapter was good or bad i want like. an actual coherent response here. so i will reblog this if/when i can word it but know IM NOT FUCKING HAPPY
#paragraphs and paragraphs about the villains' endings alone. hawks hpsc president. midoriya's ending#the fact hero society is barely changed and the changes that do happen feel very much TELLING the reader it happened#as opposed to actually showing us how society changed on it. this is smthn ik people will argue w me about#bc yes it was a 400+ chapter manga arguably showing us how society changed but like. did it actually show that#like do u honestly think any community would watch televised battles between TEENAGERS and bad guys#and have the majority of them go 'gah! i cant help but sympathise with the bad guy who just suckerpunched child extra no.28!'#so like. why are they all suddenly on board with massive systemic reinvention. where's the rage where's the bitterness#this wasn't a story on showing the villains as redeemable and working towards society sympathising with them#and slowly painfully coming to a conclusion where japan was ready to change as a COLLECTIVE#this was a story of showing a group of redeemable villains (first step CHECK) getting DEFEATED IN BATTLE#THEY ALL FUCKING DIED EXCEPT SPINNER AND PRESUMABLY COMPRESS#WE DONT EVEN FUCKING KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO DABI AT THE END ONLY THAT HE WAS PUT IN THE EXACT SAME POSITION#HE WAS IN WHEN HE WOKE UP FROM HIS COMA AND DABI WAS BORN. 'DABI' AS A PERSONA MEANT NOTHING#we still have an abuser who didn't come to justice. we still have the corrupt government body now being led by the guy they trafficked#and abused and conditioned into the perfect soldier. do u think maybe his opinions are a little biased in regards to that gov. body#maybe. perhaps. slightly. and we still have hero charts!!!!!! every kid in the last chap is still obsessed w becoming a hero!!!!#and dont get me STARTEDDDDDDDDD on midoriya being a teacher. 'i think it's cute he finally gets a life of peace 🥺#this way he can help the next generation directly 🥺' womp to the fucking womp he was supposed to be the world's no.1 hero#he barely sees his friends anymore. 'it's realistic to adulthood!' i dont want realism in my superpowered teen and up manga#put them in the avengers mansion NOW#so as you can see i waffled regardless of saying i specifically wasn't gonna do that and some of these points bother me more than others#with some being personal I Didn't Like It and some being i genuinely truly believe it to be bad writing#but my summary is mha ultimately felt like a story where a group of individuals unlearned (eh) the beliefs of a toxic society#and tried to save the people that society failed and then they themselves DID NOT FUCKING SAVE THEM#(i have a hit on the redemption via death trope on the dark web for ten bajillion pounds)#and while yeah that isn't objectively an evil story to tell i think 1) it was done poorly#and 2) isn't what a lot of people believed the premise to be nor what i think horikoshi himself was trying to write#ask#mha spoilers#mha
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to the person who just sent the ask calling me a strange esoteric god of knowledge (i am keeping the ask as a pet): thanks its my uber autism powers
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oneluckydragon · 2 months
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"What do you remember of being human, Echo?" The question is out of the blue and unexpected. But Sora offers a patient smile and tilts her head in curiosity, just enough that one of her ears flops over. It's endearing, if anything.
But Echo wishes she hadn't asked.
"Not much. Distinct memories are cloudy." A tired tone says softly, a pained recollection in her eyes and an acrid haze in her soul that endures, endures, and endures, "But I remember the discomfort more than anything. My body always did feel wrong back then. Misshapen. Condensed. Like it was too small for everything buried underneath, and that ache went so deeply some days that it would make my skin crawl. I hated that part the most."
At that, Sora's expression falls. She looks inexplicably sad, as if she'd hoped for a different response, a gentler one despite knowing the harsh truth about the dark future and the struggles Echo must have suffered. "But you had Grovyle, right? I'm sure he took care of you."
"He did, Sora, of course he did." A sigh, a flick of an ear and claws clenched tightly into the churned earth pressed under her paws. "I doubt I deserved his attention, though. I was too busy being angry at the world to give any care back."
In my lore, Echo does not look fully human during their time in the dark future. Since they were Darkrai before becoming human, and as a result of Palkia's reckless shattering of the Dimensional Portal which distorted both time and space, Echo's transformation was broken and accidental. They ended up looking pretty messed up and definitely (not) human. A lot of their characteristics as Darkrai carried over but rather morphed into something else.
And Grovyle, growing up in a world where humans have been extinct for longer than any living pokémon has been alive, has no concept of what a "true" human looks like. The only thing he knows is descriptions of humans from glyphs and texts in old ruins. Thus, he mistakes Echo for an actual human. And Echo, not knowing what a human looks like themselves due to amnesia, accepts this identification with nothing better to use.
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bogkeep · 1 year
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it was always a strange dichotomy. every middle school classmate i had told me i'd be a millionaire when i grew up, a Famouse Artisté. it's easy enough to imagine as a teen, i suppose: skill equals fame equals money. i was doubtful about this prophecy, not because i wasn't confident in my ability to draw, but because it was hard to imagine a world where i'd be paid for it.
it was an ice breaker game at summer camp. horrible one, really - everyone in a group were given a character profile. now we had to imagine that it was the zombie apocalypse, and the helicopter to safety was two seats short and we had argue why we deserved a spot. the character i got was an asshole doctor of some kind. i don't remember if i argued my way into the helicopter or not, but i do remember the feeling that's been hanging over me my entire life - if the apocalypse happens right now, i have nothing to contribute.
there's something really painful about it. i have cultivated a skill for my whole life, i can make art and tell stories that are entirely unique to me, there is no way to get someone else to create in the exact same way i can, and yet - i've contributed more to capitalist society by sitting in an empty hotel reception for eight hours a day.
which made me develop anxiety, to boot.
i illustrated two children's books. they're some of my best work. the contract i signed was industry standard and the indie author who had hired me was incredibly kind... but even after stock sold out i had earnt little more than some pocket change.
in high school we had an outing to dig our own snow caves that we would spend the night in. in teams, thankfully. i have so little physical strength to speak of, most i could do to help was clear away the snow rubble and toss it outside. i know, i know, my classmates reassured me it was an important job to do, i was an invaluable member of the group, sure - but it's that feeling, you know?
what would my task be in the communist solarpunk commune?
a person cannot be useless. it's a human being. they just exist, no ifs and buts about it. one can only be useless in the eyes of an ableist, capitalist society that sees no value in being alive beyond production and profit.
sometimes i receive messages from internet strangers to tell me something i said - often several years ago - was helpful to them. maybe it was a throwaway comment on a forum. maybe it was replying to a question they could've googled the answer to. maybe it was an encouraging reply to someone's artwork. turns out it mattered to someone. huh.
of course you can learn new skills. i have learnt plenty over the years! i have also learnt that there are limitations to what i can do. that some of the obstacles i face are not in fact obstacles everyone faces. it's not that i can't break tasks into smaller steps, it's more that half of those steps are going to be "rinse your hands because you Touched a Thing and now you're going to have to touch Another Thing." i wonder if that's adding to my cognitive load or something.
i was never raised to be a man, so by all accounts i do not understand why i'm so haunted by the spectre of toxic masculinity - what would i do if i was a medieval peasant and a war broke out? what if i was in a pre-historic hunter gatherer society and i was expected to hunt? what if i was a humble farm boy discovering the sword of the chosen one and the world depended on my non-existing courage to face certain death?
look, it's stupid. these are not scenarios i will find myself in. besides, pre-historic humans depended on community and taking care of each other. that's how we survive.
i'm not useless and i decided to make peace with being useless anyway.
we're surrounded by digital clocks. we can't really escape them. do we need watchmakers? would they save me a spot in the zombie apocalypse helicopter? no, don't answer that. i'm just happy i found something that requires a light touch and an observant eye.
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thevioletcaptain · 4 months
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I know the ask is about ships but could you make a non ship one with Dean and Carlos from the Winchesters? I can't think of an exact thing for Dean to say, but the first sentence can be what Dean would say for their first meeting. Thank you if you can (*^‿^*)
"I like your hair," Dean says, staring up from where he's clinging to the bottom of Mary's winter coat, and Carlos grins wide when he adds, with all the breathless gravity of a four year old eager to impress their opinions upon a new friend; "It's swooshy and it's pretty like Mommy's hair, and your-- your beads are pretty and shiny and shiny is my favorite color."
"Swooshy and pretty and shiny is exactly what I was going for, so thank you, little buddy."
Even with almost six years between now and the last time he'd seen Mary, Carlos is relieved to find that they still have a good sense of one-another -- can still communicate silently, swiftly, like they used to when it was life or death. He meets her eye, and her face softens, and understanding passes between them before he slides one of his lucky beaded bracelets -- the bloodstone one -- free.
Dean's eyes light up when he takes it.
When he smiles, he looks just like his mother.
[for this askbox game if anyone else wants to send me a prompt]
#supernatural#the winchesters#supernatural fic#the winchesters fic#dean and carlos#hi anon i love you and YES you can have a platonic dean and carlos ficlet!!!#for the record this is set in the uh... the prime universe? og spn universe?#did we ever reach a consensus on what to call the different 'verses?#but yeah this is a world in which the events of the winchesters didn't happen#so mary got out of the hunting life as she did in spn and lost touch with carlos and lata and ada#and carlos has been on the road#and just happened to be passing through lawrence when he bumped into a heavily pregnant mary with a four year old dean at the grocery store#so here we are :P#cass writes fic#fandom: supernatural#fandom: the winchesters#also now i've made myself extremely sad thinking about a year later#carlos swinging through lawrence again and going over to the house to visit mary and meet her husband and the new baby#and finding the house abandoned and ravaged by fire#checking the local newspapers and discovering that mary had died and her kids and husband have dropped off the map#having to call lata and ada to tell them#and then not reconnecting with dean (and meeting sam) until many many years later#when they happen to be hunting the same monster#and he realizes who they are#and is absolutely distraught over what has become of mary's children#especially the sweet little boy who'd been so enamoured of carlos' pretty hair and jewelry#also i linked to a picture of bloodstone because it is indeed very pretty#and i chose that as the stone used in the bracelet carlos gives dean for several reasons:#it symbolises strength and resilience and encourages growth and positivity generally but also especially during times of hardship#so i've basically decided that carlos helped keep dean safe for many years thanks carlos <3
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thechaotichorselord · 3 months
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hey hey lil thing
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howdy hey horselord here with some horselore/rambles
i just wanna say; in the Unwanted Guest AU Stanarrator isn’t canon AT THE BEGINNING—
Stan and Nar go through a bunch of character development throughout the AU, and they don’t like each other at all
Stan thinks Nar is a power hungry psychopath who loves watching him be in pain
Nar thinks he’s just doing his job and that Stan doesn’t really matter
BOTH OF THEIR OPINIONS WILL CHANGE IN THE FUTURE, GOOD AND BAD.
Stan started off liking Nar but quickly grew to loathe him due to being stuck in a loop for a long time.
Nar started off thinking of Stanley as nothing but a boring protagonist he’d have to waste his time on to make the Crows happy, but after seeing how fascinating Stanley is he grew attatched (PLATONICALLY for now)
Any Stanarrator art I draw is purely silly and fun because fuck it, I wanna draw my men being happy even though they aren’t close to being happy.
If they got into a relationship right NOW, like right in the beginning of the AU it would be toxic and bad. So I draw them being cute outside of the AU. The doodles I draw are with some of their lore and not a lot of character development, but what they would act like together as a happy cute couple.
The actual couple they’d make is…well, you’ll see. Just wanna clarify the cutie patooties you see aren’t canon…yet :3
anyways have low quality doodles
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