#make more jokes about sperm banks too tho

[a9saga]

what about that episode of the golden girls where blanche's daughter wants to undergo artificial insemination because she wants to have a baby even though there isn't a man or anyone she wants to have one with, meanwhile dorothy's mother sophia is trying to avoid going to the doctor against dorothy's wishes. and it takes some time for blanche to come around on the idea of her daughter having a baby alone, but when she finally comes around to going to the sperm bank if the gals will go with her, sophia's like "ohhh boy we're goin to the sperm bank 😈😈😈" and dorothy's like "you're not going anywhere if you're not going to the doctor first" and sophia huffs like "😒 all right fine! I'll go to the doctor but this better be one great sperm bank 😤"

[musings-on-bucky-barnes]

Q&A Part 3 with Owlet about The Infinite Coffee & Protection Detail series

Here is Part the Third of Owlet answering questions about The Infinite Coffee & Protection Detail series and also about her other writing. Some of the questions are from readers of the first Q&A, and some come from a Tumblr post of suggested questions for writers.

Warning for discussion of rape.

OWLET'S NOTE:

Thanks for all the cheers and good wishes on part 2! I'm glad people think the behind-the-scenes stuff is interesting and not just me being a windbag.

I was delighted that so many of you seem interested in my novel! It's not available anywhere yet: I still have to find an agent, and who knows how the heck long that's going to take? (I am NOT cut out for self-publishing.) But I certainly hope it'll find a home. If you want to keep up with me on tumblr (vmohlere) or twitter (virginiamohlere), I assure you that when such time comes, I will scream about it a LOT.

Pink floaty hearts, y'all.

  Reader questions:

From EssayOfThoughts:

 I know that you say that you like to imagine AOU doesn't exist, but I will admit (because I find Wanda deeply compelling and the twins story as a whole very interesting) that I've wondered a lot about how your Bucky would deal with the Maximoff twins? Like, on the one hand there's Wanda's ability to mess with minds, which he'd hate, but simultaneously (at least according to the AOU prelude comic) the twins was effectively radicalised by HYDRA while they were pretending to be SHIELD and expected to be their weapons which is not wholly dissimilar to Nat or Bucky. So if you're willing to acknowledge AOU just enough to ponder this I'd really like to know your thoughts! If not, of course, I understand.

Wanda’s not a character I’ve given much thought to. You’re right that her abilities would freak Barnes out. But he has a strict policy of observation before reaction, so he would give them a chance. And they’re so young (and so broken) that his protective instincts would kick in. I think they could probably count on some wary kindness, along with a dose of irritation at Pietro’s shenanigans.

From Ev42:

 Thing I can't stop thinking about today: babies. Specifically, Bucky + baby = ???

 I personally am a sucker for "Steve knows nothing, Bucky's a pro" thing re: babies. Mix that up with the Mission and the Briefing and what would we get? I keep think about, idk, maybe Sam has a niece or nephew, or one of the Olds has a grandchild or grandniece or something, and I just really want your thoughts on Bucky + baby... Please?

Barnes would be too worried about inadvertently hurting an infant to be willing to touch one, though he likes the directness of slightly older kids.

If in the presence of Steve trying to deal with an infant, the Briefing would definitely have a lot of commentary about everything he was doing wrong.

From Fred1085:

 I guess if I had one question though it would be: Do you always see Bucky existing as Barnes, the Briefing, and the Mission, or do you see a time in his future in which those aspects of him would be more integrated. Not through the magical Asgaridan science, but through his own force of will/healing?

  He definitely does become more integrated over time. The Mission is a protective identity, and as he needs it less, it recedes. The Briefing is literally his memories, which he does recover many of over time, though that’s a long and painful process. There’s a lot of regression throughout the long-term forward progress. But he keeps some of the habits, like “confirm” and “deny.”

 MusingsOnBuckyBarnes:

 After “This, You Protect”, the Mission went to ground so to speak for a bit and Bucky was distressed at its loss, at it not communicating with him. But over time as he heals and it recedes, he wouldn’t be so upset?

Exactly. When the Mission’s going quiet is part of the organic process of healing, he misses it but isn’t upset by its loss.

From stentorian_lore_n:

 Did Bucky and Steve ever make a donation to Sam's VA?? :)

Yes, of course! But Sam had to be bullied into buying a better chair for himself, because he wanted all the money to go to programs.

There’s a lot of red tape involved with how much money the center can receive in donations, so Steve & Bucky give that much each year, even much later, when Sam does in fact move to NYC to become an Avenger.

From englishghosts:

 Also, since you're taking questions, I'd like to ask you something. (TW RAPE)

Although Bucky suffering sexual abuse and torture "for fun" during his time with HYDRA makes perfect sense in my head (70 years in the hands of powerful white men who had complete control over him, it's difficult to imagine nobody got ideas), especially with the imagery of the bank scene, it's something we don't see that often in fics outside certain areas of fandom. I'm really glad you included this, because for me it not only makes it more realistic, but also it brings an extra layer into Bucky reclaiming himself and being comfortable with touching and his feelings for Steve. So the question is what made you decide to include it in this fic?

Like you say, powerful men with a powerful man under their complete control, over the course of 70 years – to me, it’s a given that among the many abuses he suffered was sexual abuse. It was always part of the character, for me, one of the many layers that he needed to work through to reclaim both his body and his self.

I started to think that the romantic-physical relationship with Steve was an inevitable part of Barnes’s healing process, because he and Steve really just do love each other SO much. The more I thought about it, the more I could see that given the style that I’d set up, writing Barnes’s reactions to things kind of obliquely, would be SUPER FUN for writing about bodies and sex. I cackled my whole way through writing that section.

And, you know, there were a lot of commenters who were like “hey man where’s the smut?” – a few of them NOT SO NICELY. I’m glad I stuck it in its own section, though, because I know there are also a lot of people who like to only read the gen parts.

From Selkieinthesea:

How did you come up with the curses? My favorite is “Lenin’s pickled scrotum.” It makes me laugh every time I think of it. I’d use it, but I have toddlers so then I’d have to explain what pickling is, what a scrotum is and why you’d pickle one.

That is a mystery and a blessing from the part of my brain from which jokes arise. Every one of them delighted me. “Lenin’s pickled scrotum” hearkens back to college jokes in Russian History class about how they embalmed Lenin with a mixture of Twinkie filling and maraschino cherry juice, and of course scrotums are always hilarious, I don’t know how people who have them even deal.

from Ev42 (about the fic “Love Is for Children”):

 Nicholas. Anything to do with Nick Fury? Bc I think that'd make his faking-my-death-without-telling-Natasha sting that much more. Ouch.

 I'm trying to imagine how Nicholas meeting the gang would go. I... have no idea? Barnes would bake, of course, but what? The Olds would be happy. Barton already knows. I guess I'm just trying to figure out what the hurt/happy ratio for the rest would be

I actually have a tiny bit of this written out – it was originally going to be another piece of ICaPD, but I couldn’t get it to have any kind of arc to it, and the pacing was just BALLS.

Anyhow, yes, Nicholas is named after Nick Fury. His sperm donor is no one of import, and the only one of the Avengers who knows about him is Clint.

The snippet I never wrote involved Bad Guys kidnapping Nicholas & Steve/Barnes/Nat/Clint/Sam going on a rescue mission.

In this universe, Nat & Clint have a couple of Barton-Romanoffs, of whom Nicholas is the first (Clint adopts him). Tony & Pepper likewise have several kids in this universe.

  The remaining questions are from a “Fanfiction Writer Asks” Tumblr post by criminal-minds-fanfiction:

Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

I haven’t written a reader-insertish kind of thing since I wrote a Duran Duran scifi AU when I was 14 years old. Original characters are where it’s at.

What is your favourite genre to write for?

Fantasy, for sure. Tho romance tends to worm its way into most of my stuff.

If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi chaptered stories, which would it be and why?

I think This, You Protect has better pacing than The Long Road Begins at Home, and writing it helped me fall back in love with writing.

If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

Um. Maybe my Loki poem? Tho I don’t think it’s necessarily bad.

When is your preferred time to write?

First thing in the morning, tho I’m grateful to be able to write almost any time. In the past couple of years, I've gotten into writing into the notepad on my phone, so I literally write any- and everywhere.

Where do you take your inspiration from?

Absolutely everywhere.

In your xxx fic, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote? [Any of your Bucky fics]

The chapter of Team-Building Exercises where Barnes & Pepper go to France is something I’m so proud of. I think I did pretty well with the action and the pacing in that one, and I love writing Pepper.

Their first Thanksgiving, with the Sandwich of Suffering, is also a favorite.

In your xxx fic, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternative ending in mind? [The Long Road Begins at Home]

It was always going to go Thanksgiving to Thanksgiving.

If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names?

ARGH NAMES. What a pain. Second only to titles in terms of terribleness. I try to roll a few names around and chew on them until I find the one that feels right.

Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

I have notes for 3 more sections of Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail – one that’s pure fluff, one that’s an action scene, and one at the very end of their lives. But I dunno. For one thing, the last one is unbearably sad. And I don’t really have Barnes’s voice in my head anymore. I think it’s time to be done.

More about the action scene is answered in response to a reader question in the previous section. The Sad Ending is just too far off in tone that it doesn’t fit the series at all, so let’s leave it in a dark drawer. But Barnes & Steve live for a very long time and remain faithful to the successive generations of their Avengers family. And when they go, they reach the end of the line together.

The fluff scene is CAT JACK and will post on Friday, June 7. (it's not a full story, just a snippet)

Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

The epilogue chapter of This, You Protect has some cute jokes, but it’s pretty weird, and I kind of wish I’d left it off.

Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

Depends on the day. I definitely like music when I’m Pondering, though.

How do you feel about writing smutty scenes?

LOVE IT

Do people know you write fanfiction?

People know about my MCU fic, yes.

What’s your favourite minor character you’ve written?

That’s like asking about my favorite child!! Hill is definitely up there on the list, though. Hair Club in general was fun to have around.

Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it?

I wish I could remember what it was, but yes. That was really fun.

If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Smut, because I think the best smut is also really emotional, so it’s not like cutting out angst, fluff, or anything else.

xXx

The link to the full list of questions for fanfic writer is here:

http://criminal-minds-fanfiction.tumblr.com/post/172926526725/fanfiction-writer-asks

(EDIT: link appears to be maybe-broken?)

[fragmentedink-archived]

Can you tell us so less know facts about nik or Cameron or both

sure!!

ok ok

when originally making Nik for the fic, he was supposed to be Demi?? And he was also supposed to end up with that BITCH Detrymenia (or however the fuck it was spelled aohglasdg i cant remember, my writing partner was the one who wanted him to be with her even tho i Very Much Did Not) But Nik is far, far too slutty to be Demi

when creating Cameron’s character, he started out with having black hair and blue eyes and kinda tanned skin??? But the more I worked with him, the more he looked very pale blonde with blue eyes

Cameron  was also supposed to be Ash’s flip side. Since Bay and Ash have a brother relationship going on, I wanted to see the dynamic between Bay and a brother who was almost Ash’s opposite

In one of the stories I have planned that includes NIk, his backstory is actually a lot more closer to NIk’s backstory in BoD w him having neglectful parents

I plan on adding Cameron and NIk both in the a/b/o fic that I have going on. Cameron is an alpha and Nik is an omega. Nik is gonna be Nate, Adrien, and Blake’s half brother where Az had donated to a sperm bank when they were strapped on cash akghlasdgsad i couldnt think of another way other than for Az to have an affair and No

Nik i think actually has claustrophobia??? He’s always out in the open on Some Grand Adventure or some shit and always outdoors. I never really realized it. I think he’d have a panic attack if he was forced to be in a tight space for too long. He’s just so damn restless

Cameron, in Maas U, when I get there, is actually from Iowa. Both he and NIk are on the baseball team and Cameron has very little patience for the people who cracks jokes about him and field of dreams (which both he and I refuse to watch on principle) 

[nanalikessurveys]

Do you like the song “Baby Got Back”? Sure Do you like arm/wrist warmers? Not really When did you stop playing with barbies or whatever toy you enjoyed as a child? I guess i was about 10 or something What’s your favorite game? (Out of electronic games, nintendo games, card games, et cetera) I loved Lis and Lis 2 lol When did you first hear of Harry Potter? I can’t remember

How many pictures do you take a month on average? I take a lot of pictures of my doggo. What color are your eyes? Blue/green/gray. i really can’t tell lol Speaking of eyes, have you ever taken a picture where your eyes turned out a WAY different color from your actual real-life eyes, and somebody ends up complimenting THAT color? No Are you the type people should take seriously, or should they think you’re joking most of the time? Well i like to be taken seriously if i’m being serious?

What do you think of therapists? They can be great. i go to two therapies right now and both of my therapists are amazing people and they are really one of the only people i can trust 100%. i know some people don’t have as good experiences as me so i feel so fortunate having them.

Do you have a bad temper? I don’t, i’m pretty calm What do you think about how around Halloween a lot of people harm black cats? Is that true? that makes me so sad and angry So, are you looking forward to being out on your own? (And if you’re already out on your own, how do you like it?) I’ve lived on my own for 5 months now and i love it lol. i mean i loved living with my mom and sister aswell but i feel so much more mature and free in a way? What are your feelings towards e-dating? I don’t know really Would you ever go to a sperm bank to get pregnant? No What’s the weirdest thing thats happened to you lately? It was not super weird or anything but it was pretty unexpected. Anyway i don’t really feel like telling you the full story because it’s kinda personal, but anyway couple days ago i got mail from the police? which said that i have to call this number immediately when i see this letter. first i thought that this was a scam or something and i checked the number from google lol, and it was legit and the letter had the finnish police logo and everything. so anyway the next day i called there and this one lady answered and told me that she’s the crime inspector or whatever it’s called in english lol. (i knew it already tho because it said it in the letter), and then she asked do i have time and stuff like that and then she’s like you are suspect in a case that happened while ago and i have to interrogate you. and she did interrogate me trought the phone for like 30 minutes or so? so my dad had done something last year and had told the police that me and my sister have spare keys to his house which is true, so that’s why they interrogated me and my sister as well and i fully inderstand it as well but i was SUPER NERVOUS LIKE FUCCKK LOL i think i sounded pretty guilty because i was shaking like crazy even tho i haven’t done anything hahahaha because it was so unexpected  ANYWAY NEXT QUESTION LOL WHY AM I LIKE THIS Are your nails painted? If so, what color? They are not Is random actually.. random anymore? Hmm dunno Which body of water do you prefer? (IE: Pool, ocean, lake, river…) Ocean or pool Do you have the same initials as anyone else you know? No What do you think of people who use the saying, “Ignorance is bliss” in defense of something? (IE: When they’re being naive, know it, and defend themselves by saying “Ignorance is bliss.”) It just depends i guess idk lol If a little kid walked up to you and asked, “Are you goth?”, how would you respond? I don’t think that would ever happen haha but probably i would just chuckle or something and then move on When you like someone, and they don’t know about it, are you the type who wants to tell them, or them to make a move first? I can’t make the first moves lol Does it annoy you when people say their heart is “broken”? No Would you rather hang out with friends, hang out with one close friend, or be alone? I have one friend and i would love to hang out with her but we haven’t seen eachother in like million years fuuuck Do you roll with the punches or get kicked in the gut.. so to speak? Idk lol What would make you think a person is “too much to handle”? I don’t know Would you know exactly how to help a person if they were choking on something? I know what to do but in a situation like that i would probably just freeze LOL hope that never happens hahaha Do you prefer calm, soft songs - or heavy, loud songs? Both What do you think of Mariah Carey? I like her music What about that song by Rihanna where she’s saying she doesn’t want to be a murderer, when SHE’S the one cheating? I don’t think i know that song What makes you the most frustrated? Urgh some people What are you listening to? I’m listening to music on spotify

What do you think of lucid dreaming? I've never had that What language do you want to learn? (If you’ve already learned it, which is it?) French Finally, have you ever painted one of those “Paint By Numbers” things? Yep