#making me scream throw rocks cry bury myself in the sand

[nadacwriter]

Gina and the Merfolk 2: Identity Crisis

With Gina still in her cast, school and life have gotten hard. But will an encounter with a Michigreen merfolk make things harder for her?

I’m so sorry I’m late to posting this! Work + anxiety + hypchondria delayed the release of this a little bit. but I hope you guys like it!

Wordcount: 2,017

Gina’s arm was still in a sling. She was still ‘sleeping’ flat on her back, her arm laid out next to her. She was still getting questions at school from people she didn’t really know about what happened, and still getting odd looks when she explained;

“They had to take a bit of my bone out, and since I’m not old, they took it from my arm instead of my back.”

Gina thought it was just plain unfair. So what if she would’ve had a severe panic attack and possibly chocked on her own spit if they took from her back? At least her ARM would’ve worked! She would’ve had a litany of other issues, but she still would’ve been able to climb trees. Maybe.  

With all this added stress, Gina found herself particularly angry walking home from school that day. The long walk usually brought her some sort of contemplative, relaxing time alone. Just her, the dirt path, and the trees that lined it. But this time, Gina wasn’t having ANY contemplative thoughts. No feelings of relaxation. She just found herself getting angrier as she walked, every time her slack arm hit her ribs, every time she replayed every conversation in her mind. Gina had never cared what others thought of her, why did it all of the sudden matter now? Why was every look critical? Why was every word negative?

Why did every laugh in the background have to be about her?

Gina ignored the tears welling as she went into the forested shortcut, an old path to a coast guard hut that cut the journey short. Her tears were getting her glasses wet, her face warm, her head light, as she just barreled through the forest. She wasn’t even bothering to look where she was going, she was trying to push every one of her thoughts out of her mind. But everything just kept spinning and twisting, getting louder and louder as she pressed further and further into the path.

Eventually, her mind won out over her body, and she forced herself to sit near a little stream. She threw herself down onto the bank and just cried in frustration, ignoring the water bottle that slipped out of her backpack and hit her on her bad arm, sending a ripple of pain through her. THAT clearly didn’t help.

“Ugh, would you STOP IT?!” She screamed, still crying, screaming at a lot all at once; her arm, her brain, her water bottle, just kicking the earth. She grabbed the bottle and just tossed it into the other bank of the stream. She’d deal with it later, maybe when she was done with her crying. She wouldn’t be done for a while.

It wasn’t cathartic. It didn’t help her deal with anything. The fact that she was letting herself cry only dug her shame deeper and deeper into the ground. She wasn’t going to feel particularly good after this. Even after talking to herself.

“I just want control…” She said, through heavy, labored breaths, “I just wanna be in control of myself, is that a crime now? I have to have some disease that just tells me how to think?” She tucked her knees to her chest, and buried her head in them. She heard the rustling in the water, coming against the stream. She didn’t care.

But then she heard something that got her attention.

“Lindan reck! Lindan reck!!”

Gina looked up, wiping her glasses clean with her shirtsleeve, and blinking away some extra tears. And on the other end of the bank, she saw a Michigreen merfolk. Looked to be an adolescent, but it was definitely a Michigreen; green skin, short, greenish hair, striations on the back. The Yellow eyes told her this was a juvenile.

“Lindan...reck?” Gina whispered to herself. Merfolk all had strange dialects, and though she knew a bit of common inland, that’s about it. She didn’t know much Michigreen. But she could put it together. Lindan sounded like ‘land one’, the term they used for humans and their pets. And ‘reck’ probably just meant ‘rock’. Why would an adolescent Michigreen be talking about a person’s rock-

THE WATER BOTTLE. It was metal, but the muted colors looked like stone on the bank. GINA had just THROWN it like she didn’t need it. And it was now closer to the Michigreen than to Gina. Meaning the Michigreen would beat her to it if it wanted it.

And it looked like it did.

“HEY!” Gina called, finding the little footbridge and running across to the other side of the stream, “That’s mine, you can’t have it-oof!” She tripped as she fell down the bank, loosing her footing and almost landing in the water. By then, the Michigreen had it in its hands, and was swimming back up stream. Gina watched as the dull green bottle made its way further up stream. And then she took off her backpack. “Not on my watch, you little bastard.”

Gina was lucky this one was a juvenile. It could go fast in that stream, but it was only the length of her forearm. She could catch up with it, but the problem would be getting it. She was still in a cast, and couldn’t get that wet. She’d have to wait for the Michigreen to jump from the water.

The stream got deeper and wider as it wound along the forest floor. The Michigreen was slowing down now, as the current pushed stronger against it. Gina could see that it was having a hard time carrying a water bottle that was about its size. And the thing kept getting slower, to the point where Gina didn’t even have to run to keep up with it. “Come on,” She said, “Come on up...the air is fine…”

A noise was growing in the distance. It sounded like rushing water of some sort. Gina ignored it as she kept her eye on the floating bottle. Though, at this point, it was less a chase and more a leisurely stroll. She might even have started singing if she weren’t so mad.

The stream got deeper, and the current faster, to the point where Gina almost didn’t believe what she was seeing.

“I’ve never even seen this thing before, is it like...some kind of river or something?” She asked herself, “And what’s that noise? Sounds like a-”

She was cut off when she saw it, letting out a light gasp.

Rapids. Leading up to what must have been a pool under a waterfall. Of course, of course! A Michigreen pond! They would often set up under waterfalls, it kept the water circulating, which’d protect their egg clutches from predators.

“And MUST be where this little guy lives-OPE!” Gina scrambled up the rapids as she saw the little Michigreen beginning to jump, hoping it’d jump close to the bank. “Come on, buddy, I just wanna talk.” She said, gritting her teeth. She positioned herself near the top of the rapids, and waited. She blinked, looking out and slitting her eyes as it got closer, and closer…

The Michigreen made a mistake. It jumped too close to the bank, and Gina was able to nab the bottle midair, the Michigreen still hanging onto it.

“HA! Gotcha!” Gina set the bottle down, and the Michigreen began to hiss, bearing its (somewhat adorable) sharp teeth. Gina was mad at the little thing, but she wasn’t about to kill it or let it die. She laced the bottle between her knees, and used her good hand to gently tug the Michigreen off of the bottle by its tail, before bringing it up to her face to get a better look.

“Huh...you’re oddly fascinated by that bottle, huh?” She asked, before slowly and gently setting the Michigreen down into the water.

“Well, you can’t go around taking other people’s things, y’know! You gotta be more careful, or you might wind up in a situation you’re not...prepared...for…”

There must have been at least 40 Michigreen merfolk, adults, juveniles, and guppies, staring Gina down with their greenish black eyes. Greenish-black. Adults.

And there were way more of those.

Gina had stumbled into a nest of incredibly angry looking merfolk.

And just manhandled one of their young, right in front of them.

“...Um...Hi…”

They all stared at Gina. Just...looking straight at her. Not making to attack, not preparing to gore her or feast on her, just looking at her. Intently. Intense, judging stares.

Judging Stares.

“I can’t even get away from it HERE!?” Gina huffed and kicked the bank of the flowing pond, sitting down on the grass once more.

“ALL I want is to just LIVE, is that so much? I just wanna be able to sit out here and be angry and throw something without some merfolk coming and stealing it, or without some doctor saying I’m not a person, or without some loser thinking I’m WEIRD for once! The woods aren’t MINE, I get it!” She threw her hand down, a weak, sad smile on her face, “But I come out here and I hope that I can at least BE, without getting ‘pranked’ or stared at like I’m some kind of FREAK!” She didn’t even notice she was crying, at this point, the smile still on her face.

“And now I don’t even get that!? I’m not human enough to be with humans, and I’m not animal enough to be out HERE clearly, so what AM I?! WHERE am I supposed to even GO?!” She threw the bottle back down into the bank, so hard it sank into the wet sand. She buried her head in her knees again, and cried just as hard as before. She didn’t have control over this, either, it seemed.

Gina heard some rustling in the water, coming near her. When she looked up, it was the adolescent from earlier.

“Ugh, just...keep it.” She said, kicking the bottle to it, “I can get another one, it doesn’t matter.”

The merfolk recoiled, swimming back away from Gina. It seemed to go back to its mother, still staring Gina down.

With a heavy sigh, Gina took the water bottle, and made the long walk back to her backpack, shooing away a chipmunk that was trying to get into it. She hoisted the back onto her good shoulder and slipped the bottle back into its sleeve. And she walked home, taking the shortcut past the coast guard hut, trying to come up with a lie she could tell to explain her tears.

“I’ll say I landed on my cast funny.” Gina said. She’d never lied to her dad before, it just wasn’t her nature. But she didn’t want to go through it with him. She just couldn’t bring herself to dump all that weight on someone else. It’d just be unfair to make someone else deal with it.

It’d be unfair to unload on someone.

_____

Gina laid in her bed, staring at the ceiling. It was 1 am. Again. 10 more hours and it’d be 4 days since she got the cast. It wasn’t supposed to come off for another four WEEKS. Gina looked up, her throat dry, her breathing shallow, looking at the stars through the window in the wall.

“...I know you can’t hear me, mom.” She said to herself. “And I know I should be taking this to dad. Since he’s the one who can help me.” She rubbed her eyes.

“But I just don’t know who I belong to. WHAT I belong to. I’m not even sure if I should BE here right now, or ever. I’m worried. So...so if you could just give a sign that you can hear me somehow, I really just want to know.”

Gina looked deep into the black sky full of stars.

Nothing.

“I don’t even believe in god...ugh, this is stupid.” Gina threw herself face first down onto the pillow. “This whole thing is stupid.”

Gina finally got to sleep. She wasn’t woken up by the fan. Or the wind.

Or, the strange, gentle call of a deer. Ringing through the woods.

[ilguna]

Tacenda - Chapter Thirteen (f.o)

Summary: you’ll never truly be free from the Capitol.

Word Count; 3.8k

Warnings; swearing, DEATH MENTION

NOTES: i give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

The wall finally breaks, and you’re sent flying forward. You toss the knife off of you as you throw yourself at Finnick, pulling him against you as tight as you possibly can without hurting him. His hands had long since been removed from his ears.

He meets you with the same amount of enthusiasm, but you don’t see it that way. You wanted to cry the entire time the hour was going on, watching as his facial expressions turned from okay, to bad, to worse. It has taken its toll on him, and it’s so painfully obvious.

Finnick buries himself into your neck, and you can feel the tears. You put your head against his, brushing his hair back as you try to rock him slightly, “It’s okay, I’m right here. I’m right here, Finn.”

His arms are tight around you, and you look over to see Johanna. She’s in pain too, watching as he holds onto you. You can feel him trembling slightly in your arms. All you want to do is scream at the gamemakers for purposely trapping him into something like that.

“It was you,” Finnick says, his voice is amazingly even, “And the rest of your family with Mags.”

You tilt your head slightly, “How did they…? Don’t jabberyjays copy?”

“They can.” Beetee says, “But they can always fabricate the sounds. Computer generated.”

You look over, “I understand how they got myself, but how would they get Mags, and my siblings? Mags hasn’t spoken in years and my siblings have never been on television, ever. I’ve made sure that they haven’t because I don’t want them to have the publicity.”

“Same goes for Prim.” Peeta says.

Beetee shrugs, “It’s not far off to think that they might have taken them speaking to other people and changed it to fit.”

Your arms tighten around Finnick a little bit at the idea that they would have recorded your families voices without permission.

“They won’t touch Prim.” Peeta tells Katniss.

You don’t move off of Finnick, because his arms are still tight around you. Instead, you carefully play with his hair, and sink down a little bit lower on his lap. When you’re completely sitting on his thighs, this is when you rub his back gently.

“Your fiance’s right, the whole country loves your sister.” Johanna says, you don’t move from where you are against Finnick, “If they tortured her–if they did anything to her, forget the districts. There would be riots in the damn Capitol.”

There’s silence for a moment, and then Johanna starts yelling, “Hey, how does that sound, Snow? What if we–what if we set your backyard on fire? You know you can’t put everybody in here.”

You laugh a little bit, and Finnick does too.

“What?” she asks, quieter now, “He can’t hurt me. There’s no one left that I love.”

She says that she’s going to go ahead and get Katniss some water, walking off.

It’s a couple of minutes before Finnick lets you away from him. You help him to his feet, and even then he looks distant. He looks as distant as you felt when you had just woken up from the nap that you were taking. Regardless, he holds onto your hand tightly, and doesn’t let it go no matter what when you all start to move back to the beach.

He stabs his trident into the sand, but it eventually falls over. His hand also lets go of yours, and he heads straight into the water, sitting down.

You stand almost helplessly, clenching and unclenching your teeth. Seeing Finnick like this makes you want to cry, just like you had wanted to cry, seeing him inside of that wall. Alone, and watching him turn numb as time went on.

It was the longer hour of your goddamn life, watching him like that.

“Go sit with him.” Johanna tells you, nodding her head forward.

“I think he needs space.” you say, but you make no move to sit down next to anyone. Instead, you cross your arms and stare at Finnick’s indifferent body.

The Capitol will pay for this. They’ll pay for all of this as soon as this is over. There’s going to be hell, and you’ll be at the front lines with it. Because in no fucking life of yours, will this be acceptable.

“He’ll be okay.” Peeta says.

You ignore him, finally deciding to go and join Finnick in the water. You don’t touch him at all, wrapping your arms under your thighs as you lean forward. You let Finnick come to you, so you’re not overwhelming him with being on top of everything that he does.

He puts his arm around your waist, pulling you to his side, “Thank you.”

“For what?” you ask, watching as another wave comes over to you guys.

“For volunteering.” he says, and you look over in surprise, “For telling Elysia to call boys first so you would know to volunteer.”

“Finnick…”

He shakes his head, looking back out to the water, “What if you had been at home? And we all still came across those jabberjays, and I was hearing your scream? I wouldn’t have known that you were okay. Not even after the birds stopped, I would have no clue.”

“I love you.” you tell him, moving one of your hands to place on his knee, “And I would literally go to the ends of the earth for you, you know that, right?”

Finnick nods, “I would do the same for you. I would have volunteered just the same. I don’t think I ended up telling you that.”

“I know you would.” you lean your head against his shoulder.

You guys sit here, watching the waves in silence. You let your legs down, fully submerging them and settling for sitting criss-cross for a while.

It’s at least fifteen minutes or so before it’s interrupted by Johanna yelling for you guys. Finnick gets up first, and helps you to your feet. The both of you go over to stand over everyone.

“Where do the careers feel safest? The jungle?” Beetee asks once you get there.

“Jungles a nightmare.” Johanna says.

“Probably here on the beach.” Finnick answers.

“Then why are they not here?” Beetee asks.

“Because we are.” Johanna leans forward a bit when she talks, “We claimed it.”

Beetee looks around you guys, “And if we left, they would come?”

“Theoretically.” you shift on your feet a little bit, not liking how the sand feels under the boots very much.

“Or stay hidden in the treeline.” Finnick adds, Johanna nods.

“Which in just over four hours will be soaked with water from the ten o’clock wave.” he looks around you guys, “Then what happens at midnight?”

Katniss answers this time, “Lightning strikes that tree.”

“Here’s what I propose,” Beetee starts, “We leave the beach at dusk.” he points, “We head to the lightning tree, that should draw them back to the beach. Prior to midnight, we then run this wire–” he motions to it, and then goes back out to pointing, “–from the tree, to the water. Anyone in the water, or the damp sand, will be electrocuted.’

You watch as Beetee and Peeta both feel the sand in their fingers.

“How do we know that the wire’s not going to burn up?” Johanna asks.

“Because I invented it.” he says, “I assure you, it won’t burn up.”

He looks around at you guys, clearly looking for input.

You look at Finnick, raising your eyebrows somewhat, and then the both of you look to Johanna. She has the same look at you do, the one that says ‘it can’t hurt’. What else are you guys going to do?

You can see Katniss is staring at you three curiously, almost like she can’t believe that you all just did that. That not only can you share a look like that with Finnick and completely understand what he’s thinking, but you can do it with Johanna too. You all think alike here, Katniss and Peeta just haven’t reached that level of friendship just yet, you suppose.

“Well, it’s better than hunting them down.” Johanna says.

“What else are we gonna do?” you cross your arms, shifting in the sand again.

Katniss turns to look at Peeta and Beete, “Yeah, why not? If it fails, no harm done anyway.”

Peeta nods, “Alright, I say we try it.”

“So what can we do to help?” Finnick asks.

Beetee pauses for a moment before answering, “Keep me alive for the next six hours? That would be extremely helpful.”

Beetee lists off the rest of the plan, and since you guys are waiting until dusk, it seems like there’s a lot of time to pass. You all sort of split up, Peeta and Katniss sit farther away, Beetee sits on his coil of wire, talking to Johanna about the plan.

You decided to go for a swim in the water after you pulled off your boots. The second you did when you were deep enough was pull out the hair tie that’s holding your ponytail in. You got all your hair wet, and scrubbed your scalp even if there’s no soap. When you were satisfied, you tied all of it back as smoothly as possible, right back into a ponytail again.

Finnick spins around his trident. Above his head, around his back. You eventually got bored of swimming and sat next to him while he messed around. To fill the silence, you two talked about what it would be like to be back home right now, watching. If neither you or Finnick had been an option for the games.

“What would you name our baby?” Finnick asks, slowing down his spinning.

You look over to him, “Depends on the gender.”

He gives you a certain look for that answer, “Okay, a girl?”

You shrug, “I don’t know, I haven’t given it much thought. Have you?”

Finnick smiles a little bit, “Ever since you brought it up.”

You nod a little bit, “It would have to relate back to the ocean in some way, or at least sounds like it belongs to the water.”

“So, Finn?” he suggests.

You laugh, “That would be a nightmare to deal with.”

“Oceana?”

“Classic, real classic.” you stand up, tired of sitting in the water, “I’ll put that right up there with ‘coral’.”

Finnick stops spinning the trident, placing it down in the sand. You go over to him, wrapping your arms around his chest while you give him a quick kiss.

“What about Delmore?” you suggest.

“Delmore?” he asks, almost like he’s about to tell you that your suggestion is ridiculous.

“It means ‘of the sea’.” you tell him, moving away.

Finnick nods, thinking about it.

“Beetee says it’s time we start heading to the tree.” Johanna says to you two.

“Sounds good to us,” you look at her, and then your eyes flicker to Katniss and Peeta, “Good luck with those two.”

She laughs, a small smirk coming on her face, “Alright, lovebirds!”

You all start heading back to the sand. You slip on your shoes in the water, making sure that no sand gets inside of them. Finnick goes back to spinning his trident in the meantime.

Peeta and Katniss get up soon enough, and you all start heading across the arena, walking through the beach, rather than the cornucopia. Along the way, Beetee will occasionally ramble on about his plan, but it’s mostly quiet.

The jungle is when the real problem starts, since you’re climbing over rocks, going nothing but uphill. Finnick leads the way on this one, and you follow just behind him. It seems like none of you realize how late it is, until the anthem begins, showing off the fallen.

You stumble to catch your footing when you turn to see, and Finnick saves you before you end up on your ass.

The first two are Cashmere and Gloss, respectively. Wiress follows, and then it’s the girl from District Five, the girl morphling from six that had saved Peeta apparently, Blight, the guy from ten, and then Chaff.

The anthem ends there, and you all turn and go back to making it up the hill in silence.

When you finally get to the tree, you all stop to stare at it, with Beetee up front.

“Minimal charring, impressive conductor. Let’s get started.” he goes towards the tree, and you guys loosely follow.

He starts to wrap the wire around the tree. In the meantime, you all just kind of stand around and wait. Every now and then, you’ll find a place to pace, not really wanting to be huddled up next to everybody. However, paranoia creeps back onto you, and you’ll head back over to Finnick.

It’s a while before Beetee’s even cracked a dent on the damn coil, “Typically, a lightning strike contains five billion volts of energy.”

You spin the knife in your hand, trying to keep your mind entertained. You don’t really want to be the only one here suffering of boredom or sleep deprivation. Considering that none of them have slept in a good while, either.

“We don’t want to be anywhere in the vicinity when this hits.”

You all begin to move away from the giant tree, Beetee pulling it in the direction you guys came. Then, he looks to you, Johanna and Katniss.

“You girls go together now, take this.” Beetee hands off the wire to Katniss, “Unspool it carefully, make sure the entire coil is in the water, you understand? Then head to the tree at the two o’clock center, we’ll meet you there.”

Katniss looks completely confused, looking between you and Johanna. You stop spinning the knife for a moment, waiting for her to protest what’s going on.

It comes from Peeta first, “I’m going to go with them as a guard.”

“No, you’re staying here to protect me.” Beetee then adds, “And the tree.”

“It’s an even split.” you tell Peeta, “Johanna and I have it covered.”

“No, I need to go with her.” he shakes his head.

“There are two careers out there, I need two guards.” Beetee argues.

“Finnick and (Y/n) can protect you just fine.”

Katniss now butts in, “Yeah, why can’t Finnick and (Y/n) protect you, and Peeta, Johanna and I take the coil?”

“You all agreed to keep me alive until midnight, correct?” Beetee moves in closer.

“It’s his plan, we all agreed to it,” Johanna says.

Finnick is next, “Is there a problem, here?”

“Excellent question.” Beetee tilts his head, waiting for an answer.

It’s a moment, before Katniss answers, “No, there’s no problem.”

As Katniss goes to say goodbye, you look to Finnick, “I’ll be back soon.”

“Don’t get yourself hurt.” he says.

“No promises.” you smile, and then head towards Johanna, ready to go.

“Alright, let’s go.” Johanna tells her.

You follow Johanna down the path, still playing with your knife. Just as you predicted on your first day here, the jungle is an absolute nightmare during the night. It’s dark, it’s hard to see, which means that you won’t know if something dangerous is around you.

You barely have the moon to thank for the stuff you can see.

Every now and then, you’ll take Katniss’ bow for her so she can step down a particularly steep spot, since she’s the one pulling the wire. You hand the bow back to her.

“Come on.” Johanna says, stepping onto a rock that overlooks the beach, “I want to put as much distance between me and this beach as possible. Frying is not how I want to go.”

“Not a fan of being scrambled?” you tease.

You and her stop when you don’t hear Katniss moving anymore. This is when you can see that the wire is pulled tight, obviously stuck on something.

“There’s something…” Katniss mutters quietly, tucking on the wire.

The wire tugs back, and it snaps. You move out of the way for Johanna, keeping an eye on the careers. Brutus is the first to pop up.

Johanna hits Katniss over the head with the wire. Katniss falls on her back, clearly out of it now. Johanna moves in with the knife, cutting open Katniss’ arm as planned to get the tracker out. Katniss screams in pain, and normally that wouldn’t be very helpful, but in this case it is.

It’s making it look like Johanna just hurt Katniss, which will throw Brutus and Enobaria off of her. They won’t think to go and kill off Katniss, especially if she’s supposed to be ‘suffering’ at the moment. They’ll expect her to die off in a couple of minutes.

Johanna lightly shushes Katniss, and places her bloody hands against Katniss’ neck, “Stay down.”

Johanna gives you a look, and you extend the sword, staring straight at Enobaria and Brutus. Johanna throws her spare axe, hitting the rocks next to them, and then takes off. You watch and make sure that they don’t come towards you, and instead they chase after Johanna.

Once you’re sure they’re gone, you collapse the sword again. Katniss stares at you with wide eyes, clearly not knowing what to take of the situation. You press your fingers to your lips to keep her quiet as you listen for any footsteps.

You then take off to go up the hill but not where the rocks are. It’s hard for a moment, but you stab and pull your way up the dirt with the knife.

“(Y/n)?” Finnick yells.

“Here!” you yell back, and he comes out of the trees to see you.

He helps you up the rest of the way.

“Enobaria and Brutus are after Johanna.”

He leads the way as you two look around for Johanna. However, you guys come upon nothing. The sound of a cannon worries you slightly, as you know that’s signaling someone’s demise.

At the sound of Katniss screaming, you and Finnick begin to head towards where it’s coming from. Finnick is much faster than you are with running, but you manage to just barely keep on his heels.

You nearly slam into his body when he stops so suddenly, “Katniss, where are you?”

You find her in the bushes with an arrow pointed at Finnick. You move in front of him. He realizes where she stands after that.

“Katniss,” he starts, holding out his arms like it’s a surrender, “Remember who the real enemy is.”

Your eyes are locked on her arrow, and you’re instantly relieved when she begins to lower the bow. The midnight storm brews above you, causing her to look at it suddenly. You relax, moving out of the way of Finnick.

Katniss turns to look behind her, staring straight at Beetee. He’s just laying in the dirt, you take a step forward.

What happened?

The lightning overhead begins to get a little louder, “Katniss, get away from the tree.” you tell her.

She wraps the wire around the head of the arrow, and Finnick takes off to grab her, “Katniss, get away from that tree–!”

Just as the lightning comes down, Katniss sends the arrow flying up towards the ceiling of the arena. When the lightning hits the tree, she’s sent flying away from it, the same time you and Finnick are.

The air is static. The type that makes your hair stick up, The electricity is lingering in the air around the tree.

The arrow hits the dome, sending the facade of a blue sky to black, as it slowly starts to spread throughout the rest of the arena with a fire-like border in front of it.

Your ears are ringing from the sound of the blast. You’re just barely able to move yourself around, not completely paralyzed by the electricity that had flown at you. You watch as the ceiling begins to fall apart, and the greenery around you turns to flame.

The ground shakes with each part that hits the arena, almost like an earthquake.

It’s a minute before the hovercraft appears, lowering a bit into the arena. It sends it’s claw down, heading straight for Katniss. You watch as it scoops her up and brings her in, and then it’s sent down again.

You’re curious on who it’s going to next, you, Finnick or Beetee. But then you realize it’s Finnick, and you can kill two birds with one stone by joining him.

You drag yourself over to him, trying your best to crawl but it’s not working just yet. Your muscles seem to have turned to jelly from the electricity, they’re absolutely useless.

You throw yourself on Finnick. He looks awake, and he tells you that he isn’t able to move. You position yourself on his chest the best you can, telling him that it’s okay.

The claw picks the both of you up, bringing you to the hovercraft. You place your head on Finnick’s chest, squeezing your eyes shut because you don’t want to look down. You don’t want to see how far you are into the air.

It’s quickly over though, you’re greeted with Haymitch, who helps pull you, and then Finnick off of the claw. You tell him that Beetee is down there too, but you don’t know where Johanna and Peeta are. Or if they’re even alive, because of the cannon.

“Use that knife and get out the trackers.” he tells you, motioning to your belt.

You look down, confused on what he’s on about. Staring right back at you is the knife that was sponsored to you. You hadn’t even realized that you had put it there.

You focus on getting Finnick’s out first. You roll up his sleeve and place your knee on his upper arm to keep him from moving. Then, with your left hand, you hold down his wrist.

You quickly dig the tracker out, which causes a commotion with Finnick, and then hand it over to Plutarch so it can be stomped on. You do the same to yourself, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath before you stab, and twist. You don’t stop on that arm though, you go ahead and do it on the other one, too.

Both trackers are out, and you push it towards Plutarch, watching as he steps on them. Haymitch then pulls Beetee in, and they call it a wrap. Peeta wasn’t the goal of this, it was always Katniss.

Finnick is able to feel his legs again soon after, and you all move to the back. Where Finnick changes into a robe, and you do too. The both of you stand around a table with Haymitch and Plutarch.

“So, where are we heading?” you ask, looking between them.

Plutarch answers, “District Thirteen.”

[buck--y]

something as insignificant as a bath bomb can really ruin my day. it’s about as insignificant as a WORLD’S GREATEST DAD mug or a father’s day card; it doesn’t mean much anymore once you’ve used it up or looked at it and shoved it in a drawer or broken it.

with father’s day coming up, i kind of shut down. i’m constantly reminded of the amazing dad that i had and how i don’t have him anymore. i’m reminded how i don’t get to see his cheery facebook posts, full of pictures from his trek to red rock that particular morning to take pictures of the sunrise while the rest of us were sleeping; how i don’t get to see him in the morning stirring those nasty coffee granules into a boiling mug and always making sure to make another one for mom for when she woke up; how i don’t get to watch game of thrones with him and my brother in such an order: my brother on the left of the couch, draped over left arm and my dad leaning on the right arm, with me squished against him; how i don’t get to hear him telling me to put my hair down for once and to stop putting it into a bun or a ponytail or a braid bc i’ll eventually end up with a bald head like him; how i don’t get to hear him telling me to quit clawing at his arms with my acrylics during a scary movie; how i don’t get to hear him telling me ‘good morning’ or ‘good night’ (in his dracula voice); how i don’t get to sit next to him as he scarfs down a gross chocolate orange or those horrible sardines in tomato sauce; how i don’t get to hear his booming voice declaring, “OH MY GOD I LOVE BEING HOME!” when he got home from work; how i don’t get to watch movies with him on the weekend and giving each other that knowing look that decided whether or not we’d see the movie when it came out; how he’d call me ‘nurse ari’, long before i got into nursing school.

just to name a few. i’m also reminded of the day we buried him — how i was on xanax during the service bc i was sure i was going to have a heart attack from crying so much and how i got to lay my head on his coffin bc it was the last contact i got to have with him; my grandma spreading the sand from jerusalem on her son’s grave and saying that she’s sorry for throwing “dirt” on him; my mom hanging onto my uncle just sobbing her eyes out bc she’s just buried her husband, who she’d been with since she was 19 years old. i remember a lot from that bloody day, i see it like a movie in my head. i also see the night in april of 2017, around 19:45, when i drove (more like raced) myself, my little brother, grandma, and aunt to the hospital in my blue mini cooper that my dad got me and got the news on the curb that my dad had passed away. i started screaming. the screams came before the tears and the tears came before the sinking feeling of hopelessness like i’ve never felt before — not even during my lowest time dealing with my mental health issues. i think i literally lost my marbles that night and never found them again.

i miss you, abba.

[marybeatriceofmodena]

A very happy birthday to the lovely @the-reylo-void! Here’s a little gift especially for you, with the moodboard made by me and a drabble below by the one and only, @kylorenvevo! We sincerely hope you enjoy it all, and happy birthday! 

The Snow Queen: original tale by Hans Christian Andersen

"They say the devil made a mirror," old Maz told Rey one flickering fireplace night when a chill wind blew in from the Kattegat, "a mirror that distorted all reflections and magnified all flaws so that even the most beautiful landscapes and the best of persons were turned horrid and ghoulish and mean. Anyone who looked into the mirror would see not one good thing left about themselves; it was all corrupted by dark arts. The devil tried to carry the mirror up to heaven, wanting to make fools of the angels and of God, but it slipped from his grasp and fell back to earth, shattering into a hundred million tiny pieces, each one no larger than a grain of sand. These pieces flew about in the wide world. They got into people's eyes and made them see only ugly, hateful things, and they splintered into people's chests and turned their hearts into lumps of ice..."

Rey did not forget this story even as she grew up and most other folktales of her childhood were subjected to the wear and tear of eking out a meager existence. Perhaps it was the kindness Maz had shown her that night, letting her sit by the fire of the pub when it was too late and too cold to walk back to the orphanage, that lingered. In any case, the images remained burned into her memory, a mirror falling from the sky as God and the devil and all the angels looked on, the myriad glittering shards scattered about every which way by many winds.

Ben spoke of winds, too. "The Finland woman is clever," he told Rey one afternoon as they sat side by side and shivered and watched the dark canals ripple in the icy breeze. "She can twist all the winds of the world together into a knot. If the sailor loosens one knot, then he has a good wind; if a second, then it blows stiff; if he undoes the third and fourth, then it rages and upturns the forests."

He was something of a scholar, was the object of Rey's misplaced affections, and he specialized in folktales because he was also a dreamer, which was the worst possible combination for the son of a man who believed only in what he earned by sweat and cunning and a woman who bore the weight of leadership on her shoulders.

"So there is the Finland woman," Rey said, attempting to follow along, "and then there is the Lapland woman, who writes messages to her sister on the scales of fish."

"And then there is the Snow Queen," Ben added wistfully. "They say her eyes are like stars and her skin is made of ice, and that she is very beautiful."

Rey scowled. "But cold to the touch, surely?"

Ben stared at her with his warm brown eyes, the corner of his generous mouth loping into a wry half-smile. "And what," he challenged, "would you know of touch?"

Rey lifted her nose in the air, affecting the haughtiness she'd learned to mimic from more well-off girls. "I know enough." She was painfully aware that she had no right to be jealous, but eighteen was a difficult age, especially when one was in love with the mayor's older, more worldly son, who for the most part still treated her as if she were the ragged little urchin he'd caught picking roses from his mother's garden ten years ago.

Ben's gaze darkened with something that Rey couldn't understand but filled her heart with anticipation and nervousness in equal measure. He reached out as if to touch her cheek, but then another gust of wind blew through the town, rattling shutters and spinning weather-vanes wildly on their poles, and he recoiled as if she'd struck him, drawing back his hand to curl it over his heart in a fist.

"What's wrong?" Rey asked.

"My chest hurts." Ben looked down at the water over which their feet were dangling, and he blinked rapidly. "And I think there's something in my eye."

*

He was cruel to her after that day. He'd never been a particularly kind person, but now it was as if all his bad traits had been amplified. He sneered at her and made her feel ugly and stupid, and his already tense relationship with his parents took a turn for the worse. Elf-touched, the old people soon started whispering, but it wasn't until the town drunk swore up and down and by all the saints that he'd seen Ben Solo whisked away on a white sled in the middle of the night that Rey realized she'd known it all along.

*

She wanted to start looking for him right away, but the roads were impassable this far along into winter, piled high with snowdrifts. "Wait until spring," Maz advised, and so it was a few months later when Rey set out into the thawing world, afraid that she was already too late.

She followed the river, because the drunk had last seen the sled gliding over its frozen surface. It wasn't frozen now but, rather, was a wild and joyous thing roaring in its banks; it took Rey to strange new lands where the flowers talked and the wolves watched her with human eyes, and along the way she asked every living thing she met if they had seen Ben. But the flowers knew only their own old rhymes and spoke only of what they had dreamed during the long winter beneath the soil.

"The woman in her long robe stands upon the funeral pile as the flames rise around her and her dead husband," boomed the tiger lily, "and thinks on the living one in the surrounding circle, the fire of whose eyes pierces her heart more than the heat which soon will burn her body to ashes."

"Two little girls sit on a swing beneath the trees, rocking themselves backwards and forwards," sighed the snowdrop. "Their older brother holds a little cup in one hand and a clay pipe in the other; he is blowing soap bubbles that float in charming, changing colors. A swing, a bursting bubble, such is my song!"

"Three sisters made of glass," tolled the bells of the hyacinth, "dance beside a calm lake in the clear moonshine. They vanish into the wood and then three coffins glide out of the forest and across the lake, glow-worms flying around like little lights. Do the dancing maidens sleep, or are they dead?"

All this talk about funerals and coffins caused Rey to worry even more. She eventually found a patch of thorny red roses and asked them, "Do you know where Ben is? Do you think he is dead?"

"Dead he most certainly is not," said the roses. "We have been in the earth where all the dead are, and he was not there."

The relief was overwhelming, but the sight of the roses called to Rey's mind the summer day where Ben found her in his mother's garden, so many long years ago. She sat down and screwed her face up so she wouldn't cry, an act that she'd come to view as a weakness over the course of a hard life.

The ever-watchful wolves wandered near, their muzzles stained with the blood of a fresh kill. "Why are you making that face?" one of them asked. "It is an odder expression than when you humans show your teeth to express joy, odder than when water drips from your eyes in your sorrow."

"I'm looking for someone," Rey answered. "The Snow Queen took him away."

The wolves cocked their heads and flicked their furry tails. "There is spring and summer and autumn and winter, an endless, unchanging cycle that drives the wheels of the world," said the wolf who spoke for the pack. "Birds fly south and we ourselves come down from the mountains and the flowers shed their finery. All realms must bow to the Snow Queen."

"I don't care," Rey growled. "I want him back."

Hunger was the most enduring language that wolves could understand in their bones. They helped her, then, cornering a reindeer in the forest and extolling the trembling beast to carry Rey to the Snow Queen's palace. Rey clung to the reindeer's brown coat as it galloped over the wide plains and through shining valleys, to the glaciers and deep coastal fjords where even spring and summer and autumn dared not tread. Blue and green lights pulsed in the black sky and the reindeer snuffled happily, for all northern creatures dearly love the Aurora Borealis, but its hooves clattered to a stop at the edges of the Snow Queen's garden, and it quailed at the thought of going further.

Taking pity on the poor beast, Rey dismounted. She walked on foot through the bitter cold, fat snowflakes burning her eyes and her lips as she stumbled towards a great portal sculpted from knife-sharp ice.

A knight in a suit of white armor was standing guard, but he took pity on Rey when she explained her purpose. "You're in luck," he said, taking off his helmet to reveal the dark and handsome face beneath. "The Snow Queen has gone to have a look down into the black caldrons," by which he meant Vesuvius and Etna, "and to give them a coating of white, for that is as it ought to be. As for myself, I dream of warmer lands and perhaps it is time I go see them."

"There's a reindeer outside the entrance," Rey told him in payment for his kindness. "You may take it and go where you wish."

"What about you?"

"Ben and I will find our own way back."

The knight thanked her profusely and left his post, and she soldiered on. The walls of the palace were made of driving snow, and the windows and the doors of screaming arctic winds. There were more than a hundred hallways there, lit up by the frosty, jeweled colors of the Aurora, and they were all so large and empty and cold.

She found Ben in a long, echoing chamber, the northern lights casting colored veils over his pale face as he sat by the window. He stood up when he saw her, and he was thinner than she remembered, dressed in severe black robes. But it was still him, after all this time, and Rey all but barreled into him, lifting herself up on her toes to throw her arms around his neck. To her own very great surprise and annoyance, she started crying as she buried her face in his chest.

*

The warmth of Rey's tears melted the lump of ice that was Ben's heart and consumed the splinter of the looking-glass caught within. He wrapped his arms around her, tentatively at first, his gloved fingers running through her hair. Once it registered that this was not a dream, that she was really here, his embrace grew tighter and more fervent, and he bowed his head and wept into her neck. His own tears flushed out the shard of glass in his eye and, when he finally drew back to look upon her face, her cheeks wet with tears and her freckles faded by the winter and her chapped lips nearly blue with cold, she was the most beautiful thing in the world. As she had always been to him, before the devil's mirror, before the Snow Queen.

"I..." Rey hiccuped, kissing the covered palm of his hand as he lovingly cradled her face. "I gave away our ride."

Ben laughed, a sharp and rusty and long-unused sound, and he pressed his lips to her forehead. "I don't mind walking."

"It's a very long walk," Rey said, smiling as her hand found his and their fingers tangled together beneath the northern lights.

He shrugged. "So we'll do some sightseeing along the way. And maybe we can talk a bit, and I'll tell you everything I should have said long ago."

Rey nodded her assent and they left the icy palace hand in hand, warmth unfurling between them every time their eyes met, like a promise of summer.