#malice cowboy pi

[jackknife-roach]

malice, cowboy PI

[aeonborealis]

Movies/Shows Spectra

Cowboy Bebop FLCL Neon Genesis Evangelion Princess Mononoke Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Adaptation Being John Malkovich Minority Report Waking Life 2001: A space Odyssey Parika The Matrix Blade Runner Alita Battle Angel John Wick 1, 2, & 3 Inception Clock Work Orange Good Will Hunting Apocalypse Now The Godfather The Dark Knight The Green Knight Pulp Fiction Fight Club The Empire Strikes Back Se7en Interstellar Spirited Away Leon: The Professional Alien Momento Django Unchained Joker Synecdoche Jurassic Park Akira The Grand Budapest Hotel World War Z The Big Lewbowski Logan Terminator Back to the Future Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse Dune PK Her Donnie Darko 12 Monkeys Ghost in the Shell Soplaris Elysium Cowboy Bebop: The Movie Children of Men Brazil Rogue One Big Hero Six Moon Serenity Predator E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial Fantastic Planet Gravity The Girl Who Leapt Trhough Time Ex Machina The Fifth Element Guardians of the Galaxy Watchmen 28 Days Later Robo Cop Close Encounters of the Third Kind Godzilla: Shin Source Code Doctor Strange Contact Total Recall Tenet I Origins Cloud Atlas Looper Limitless K Pax 2046 Pi The Shape of Water Black Panther I Am Legend A.I. Artificial Intelligence Treasure Planet Starship Troopers The Andromeda Strain Robot and Frank Dredd 9 A Scanner Darkly Blade Oblivion The Adjustment Bureau Passangers Independence Day Starman Finch Another Earth Primer Flight of the Navigator Repo Man Altered States Chappie Cypher eXistenZ Spring HarcoreHenry Venom The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Resident Evil Short Circuit The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo Idiocracy Titan AE Ad Astra Space Jam Lucy Alien: Covenant The Cell Dune Solaris World on a wire Le Jetee Kamikaze 89 Liquid Sky Aeon Flux Reign the Conqueror Megazone 23 Neo Tokyo Class of 1999 Crime zone AD Police Files Circuitry Man Cyber City Oedo 808 Hardware Megaville 964 Pinocchio Until the End of the world Wax, the discovery of television among the bees Fortress Freejack Nemesis Machine Girl Mimbo: The Subtle Art of Japanese Persuassion Prototype Shadowchaser Split second 8 man After American Cyborg: Steel Warrior Ghost in the Machine TC 2000 Crystal Fortune Run Cyber Tracker Cyborg 3: The Recycler Armitage III Automatic Cyber Bandits Cyber-Tracker 2 Cyberjack Hackers Johnny Mnemonic Nemesis 2: Nebula Screamers The City of Lost Children Virtual Combat Nemesis 3: Death Angel Omega Doom Rubber's Lover Gumo My Own Private Idaho Full Metal Gokudo Gattaca Andromedia The X Files Webmaster The Thirteenth Floor I.K.U. No Maps for These Territories Thomas in Love Vritual Nightmare Avalon Electric Dragon 80.000 V Reboot: Daemon Rising Reboot: My Two Bobs Xchange Dead or Alive: final Resurrection of the Little Match Girl Returner Teknolust Natural city Paycheck The Animatrix Appleseed Casshern Cyber Wars The Bottled Fools Immortal Malice Doll Automatons Puzzlehead Chrysalis Vexille Sleep Dealer Technotise: Edit & 1 Tetsuo: The Bullet Man Tokyo Gore Poilice

[guyceretti]

The Heroics and Capers of Babyface, Pt. 1

Gregory Thomas disliked all of the media attention. Not because it fizzed with camera bulbs around his exploits, nor because he was forced (“by necessity,” emphasized Gregory to his banker) to wear slick, half-rimmed, exorbitantly pricey sunglasses when entering public spaces. Neither was the case. He disliked all the media attention because there was none of it.

An anonymous informant, one who coincidentally shared Mr. Thomas’ phone number, tipped off the local paparazzo of Gregory’s whereabouts. “Who?” the paparazzo replied.

In addition to being, perhaps, the most handsome and shining of mortals, Gregory had been born with a queer talent. Whenever he winked—provided, of course, he did so with dash and perspicuity—whatever he willed came into being.

Our heroic cowboy discovered this gift at an early age, when his aunts arrived from the Midwest for Christmas. Insofar as the magical runs in families, these three women had a miraculous knack of their own: namely, a dumbfounding incapacity to buy halfway decent Christmas presents.

What self-respecting boy showcases garish sweaters and coffeemakers to his friends after the holidays? the alarmingly verbose seven-year-old Gregory wondered to himself. These crones will be the death of me!

On a rosy winter’s afternoon, the three bubbling ladies came jouncing down the Thomas household’s walkway. The reception committee—Gregory and his two older sisters—were immediately seized under a barrage of tacky-lipstick kisses, over-the-top compliments, and bellowed hallelujahs.

“Hallelujah!” Aunt Kara fluttered, “Our babies are all grown up!”

“Praise the Lord,” Aunt Jovis muttered, lightly clapping her mittens.

“Hallelujah!” chorused Aunt Perrot, slinging her flabby arms and capped head backwards.

“But sisters,” Aunt Kara whispered aloud, “I think our itty-biddy nephew’s looking down and glum.”

Gregory gaped at his aunts in fear.

“Well—how about we lift, him, on, up?” Aunt Perrot exclaimed. Gregory’s face was purple with dread. The three women swung him upside down by his ankles and showered him with kisses. Looking out to an inverted world past his aunts, Gregory could see alarmed neighbors coming onto their porches.

“You looked like a fat, stupid piñata,” Abigail, the middle sister, later told Gregory. Lip-shaped bruises having already formed on his face, Gregory wasn’t surprised. That said, he was surprised that he hadn’t burst open and poured forth with candy.

After his aunts set him down, the eldest sibling, Bridgett, sauntered forward: “Did mother tell y’all?—I was chosen to be in the school play.” Gregory soundlessly limped away from the storm cloud of estrogen, certain he had somehow been broken.

“Ooh,” the triad chirped with pleasure.

“This year’s Bye Bye Birdie, and I’m going to be Kim.” Her sapphire eyes twinkled.

The middle sister made a clicking sound with her mouth before saying, “Mr. Vladimir only chose you because he’s a creep.”

“He’s not. Shut your massive face,” Bridgett fired immediately.

“Is too.”

“Peabrain.”

“Skan—”

“—Glory me!” Aunt Kara interrupted. “Such pretty faces, such ugly mouths. Why don’t we air out this dirty laundry inside. Huh, sugar pies?” Aunt Kara gathered the girls under her arms like a dignified and queenly hen, and the lot of them walked towards the house.

“Gregory, would you be so kind as to help some pretty ladies with their luggage?”

His prepubescent manhood injured, Gregory snarled, “Have sweet ole’ Bridget carry your stupid bags. She’s great with sacks.”

“Sister, this is the second millennium after all; a young lady can carry her own burden!” added Aunt Jovis.

“Right you are!” replied Aunt Kara. “Darling, the bags, please?”

Bridged looked from face to face, then shot her little brother a glance of unquenchable malice. “I would love to,” she said.

Knowing both that he had won and that his victory would be short-lived, Gregory winked at his sister. And at that very moment, with no grand pyrotechnics, no flashes of lightning, and no cries of mad scientists: Aunt Kara, Aunt Jovis, and Aunt Perrot vanished into thin air. Where they had stood and fluttered but a moment ago sat an Xbox, a Nintendo, and a Playstation.

Ten seconds passed, the children gaping in horror.

Then: “Heeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllp!”

[jackknife-roach]

ze/hir/he/it | 20s | trans liberation now

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