#mamadingo

[looybi]

Mamadingo, Yeti Moo

MUSIC: https://looybi.com/music/-mamadingo-yeti-moo-looybi-samedi-27-mai-1685443092974?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

[dingoes8myrp]

False Positive Gives it Away in the Opening

Movie: starts. Justin Theroux.

Me: "He did it."

Mom: "Who?"

Me: "Justin Theroux."

Mom: "Did what?"

Me: "Whatever it is. He always did it."

[looybi]

Mamadingo, Yeti Moo

https://looybi.com/music/-mamadingo-yeti-moo-looybi-samedi-27-mai-1685443092974?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

[dingoes8myrp]

Mom: Want me to lock the door?

Me: Yes please.

Mom: I'll take my key then.

Me: You can knock. I'm here.

Mom: Then you have to come to the door. What if it's a killer?

Me: Do the shave and a haircut knock.

Mom: No, all the killers know that one!

[dingoes8myrp]

Mom Reacts to Game of Thrones 3x08

My mom wanted to know "the deal with the dragon lady" she saw on Ellen a few weeks ago. So, we're watching Game of Thrones. Here's what happened. Spoilers ahead for episode 3x08.

-

Recap

Mom: (on Gendry) "Obviously our blacksmith friend has some power he doesn't know about."

Mom: (on Arya) "Oh no! The Hound has her now!"

Mom: (on the absence of Theon in the recap) "Oh, wait! Did he die?! Who was that guy torturing him?! Another new person! Do we find that out?!"

-

Arya and The Hound

Arya: *picks up a rock and goes over to the sleeping Hound*

Mom: "Oh, kill him."

Mom: *just as surprised as Arya* "Oh, he's taking her to Robb!"

-

Dragonstone

Gendry and Melisandre

Mom: "She's gonna bed him and make a demon."

Mom: "Oh, she's gonna bleed him!!!"

Mom: "Oh, we have to stop this. This cannot happen."

-

King's Landing

Cersei and Margaery

Cersei: "If you ever call me sister again I'll have you strangled in your sleep."

Mom: "Bitch! Report back to your grandmother. She is wicked."

The wedding

Joffrey: *takes Tyrion's step stool*

Mom: "Why'd he take his stool away?"

Me: "Because he's a dick."

I can't believe she was surprised by that.

-

Dragonstone

Melisandre and Gendry

Mom: "Wait, she's gonna have sex with him?"

Me: "Gendry is just as bewildered."

-

King's Landing

Tyrion does not bed Sansa.

Tyrion: "And so my watch begins."

Mom: "Too young! Fourteen? My God!"

-

Yunkai

Dario sneaking into Daenerys's room

Mom: "So this guy's gonna try and kill her. This is gonna be funny. Does he know about the dragons?"

Dario: *drops 2 severed heads on the floor*

Mom: "Oh!"

-

Sam and Gilly

Mom: *casually* "There's a lot of crows out there now."

Crows caw louder. Figure emerges from the woods.

Mom: "I see it!"

Sam stabs the white walker with the dragon glass.

Mom: "HOLY SHIT, SAM!"

Mom: "No, go back for the dragon glass!!!"

-

After the show

Mom: "What about the guy in the dungeon?!"

She thinks he might be dead.

[dingoes8myrp]

Mom Reacts to Game of Thrones, 1x01

My mom wanted to know "the deal with the dragon lady" she saw on Ellen a few weeks ago. So, we're watching Game of Thrones. Here's what happened. Spoilers ahead for episode 1x01.

-

Mom: "Where'd the bodies go?"

Me: "Exactly."

Mom: "Oh, this guy's a dick. I hope something eats him."

Guy That's a Dick: *gets murdered*

Mom: "Good. Wait, oh no!"

Wight: *appears*

Mom: "Are there zombies in this?!" *excited*

Me: "Yes."

Mom: "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT THE ZOMBIES?!" *very excited*

-

Catelyn Stark: *glares down at Jon Snow*

Jon Snow: *sheepishly glances up at her and goes about his business*

Mom: "Obviously those two are fucking."

Me: *spits my hummus in shocked laughter*

-

Ned: *beheads the wayward ranger*

Mom: (about Ned) "I hope a white walker eats your ass, dick."

-

Ned: *wants to kill 5 baby dire wolves*

Mom: "Oh, this guy fucking sucks."

Jon Snow: *negotiates the saving of the dire wolves; becomes my mom's BFF for life*

-

Mom: "Where are we now?"

Me: "King's Landing."

Mom: "Where were we before?"

Me: "Winterfell."

Mom: "Is that where the wall is?"

Me: "No. That's where the Starks are. The wall is waaaaay north. King's Landing is the capital, like the big city. It's where the king sits."

Mom: *blinking deadpan at me like 'what do you think I'm an idiot?'* "... No shit King's Landing is where the king sits."

-

Jamie Lannister: *says something mildly witty and dirty about the king*

Mom: "Ooh, I like him."

-

Mom: "I'm gonna guess your favorite characters."

Me: "No you're not."

Mom: *challenge accepted* "The guy who just sat down for a shave." (referring to Jon Snow)

Me: "No."

Mom: "Really? Hmm. The guy who was joking with the blonde?" (referring to Jamie Lannister)

Me: "No."

Mom: *baffled*

-

Bran: *climbs down from the roof of Winterfell*

Mom: "Ooh, this kid can climb. That's gonna save his life."

-

Arya: *runs outside in a knight helmet to see the arrival of the king*

Mom: "Okay, that little girl in the knight helmet is awesome."

-

Robert: *greets Ned and Catelyn warmly and is warmly received*

Cersei: *greets Ned icily and throws a glare at Catelyn*

Mom: "Okay, the queen is mean."

-

Mom: (referring to Viserys) "Woah, who's this creepo?" *a few minutes later* "THAT DICK IS HER BROTHER?! Oh, fuck that, I'm out."

-

Handmaiden: "The water's too hot, my lady."

Mom: "Not for the mother of dragons, it's not."

-

Dothraki roll up.

Mom: "Oh, hello."

Me: "Really?"

Mom: "IS THAT AQUAMAN?! Yes, really."

-

Every time someone refers to Viserys as the true king, or Viserys talks about being the king...

Mom: "Hah! Her, not you."

-

Sansa: *gushes to her mother about marrying Joffrey*

Mom: "This Joffrey kid's probably an asshole."

-

Mom: "What is this 'Winter is coming' shit?"

-

Mom: "Wait... Wait... Who's the queen fucking?!"

Me: "Her brother."

Mom: "WHAT THE FUCK?!"

-

Mom: "Did he just throw a little boy out the window?!"

Me: "Not so funny now, is he?"

Mom: "Oh, this is fucked up."

-

Not sure if she's in or not, but I'm amused so far.

[dingoes8myrp]

Mom Reacts to Game of Thrones 1x05

My mom wanted to know "the deal with the dragon lady" she saw on Ellen a few weeks ago. So, we're watching Game of Thrones. Here's what happened. Spoilers ahead for episode 1x05.

-

Mom: (on Bran) "So the thing with the third eye. The kid's, what, traveling in his sleep?"

Oh, she's good.

-

Mom: (frustrated) "Jon’s gotta teach Sam how to do SOMETHING."

-

Mom: (on Robert) "Look at that stomach! It’s so bad!"

Pretty sure Mom thinks a sturdy chair would be a better king than Robert.

-

Loras: *gives a rose to Sansa before a joust*

Mom: "Oh, he’s gonna get killed!"

-

Catelyn: *is ambushed on the road with Tyrion*

Mom: "Oh shit! OH SHIT!"

Tyrion: *bashes a guy's face in with a shield*

Mom: "Okay, I like him. He saved Catelyn. And he really made sure that guy was dead."

-

Robert: *fires Ned*

Mom: "He’s the only one he can trust! And he knows he’s going to be killed! What a dipshit!"

She might be rooting for Cersei at this point.

-

Lysa: *says about three words*

Mom: "Oh, she’s totally lost it."

Tyrion: *is led to the sky cell*

Mom: "No one's getting out of this place alive, are they?"

-

Jamie: *stabs Jory*

Mom: "Oh no! What?! Ned, take his head!"

You have no IDEA how hard it was to say nothing to that.

[dingoes8myrp]

Mom and I React to Game of Thrones 5x10

Recap

Daenerys rides the dragon

Me: "I love how Tyrion's just looking like 'holy fuck.'"

Sansa

Me: "Is someone gonna light this fucking candle or what?"

Mom: "She grabbed, like, a corkscrew."

Me: "Good. She's gonna stab that motherfucker."

Shireen

Mom: "I can't believe they did that."

Me: "I don't want to talk about it."

Mom: "It's, like, a pact with a demon. You better win, motherfucker, 'cause you just killed your heir."

-

En Route to Winterfell

Stannis learns half his men deserted

Me: "Hah."

Mom: "Because of what they saw."

Stannis finds Selyse has hung herself

Mom: "Yup."

Stannis learns Melisandre left the camp

Mom: "Who?"

Me: "The witch took off."

Mom: *gasp* "BITCH!"

-

Stannis and co marching

Mom: "So they have no horses. She left because she knows he's gonna kill her. He lost his family, lost half his men, he's probably about to die because of this bitch."

-

Sansa busts out of her chambers

Mom: "Oh, she's getting out!"

Sansa drops the corkscrew

Mom: "She left it behind! What a tard!"

Pod sees Stannis marching

Mom: "Shit! They're not gonna see the candle!"

Brienne and Pod leave just as the candle's lit

Mom: "FUCK!"

-

Team Bolton comes charging out

Mom: "They're gonna get killed! Twice as many, on horses. That lady lied!"

Mom: "And poor Sansa waiting with her candle and no one's gonna see it."

Me: "Well the only reason she could light the candle was because no one was there to see her... because they're all out there."

Mom: "Oh my god! Fourteen times as many. They're all gonna get killed!"

Me: "But Sansa sees her opportunity to run."

Guy crawls along the ground and we both realize he's just a torso

Me and Mom: "AHHH!"

Two guys go for Stannis

Me: "Really? They don't want to grab him? For questioning or whatever?"

Stannis kills their asses

Mom: "Oh, yeah. He's bleeding like crazy."

Brienne walks up

Brienne: "I was kingsguard to Renly Baratheon."

Mom: *GAAAASP*

-

Ramsay stabs some dude

Me: "See? That's why she could leave. He's out there."

Mom: "But what is she DOING? Is she going back to her room? Are you kidding?"

Theon shoves Myranda off the balcony

Me: *GASP* "Holy fuck."

Mom: "He's gotta get her back real fast."

Me: "No, he's gotta get her out of there!"

Theon and Sansa hold hands and jump

Me: "Holy shit. You jump, I jump, Jack."

Mom: "Fuuuck."

Me: "I guess they're both like 'anything's better than this.'"

-

Meryn whips girls - eeww

Mom: "Oh, that's her. She's gonna get him."

Arya PULLS HER FUCKING FACE OFF

Me: "WHAT THE FUCK?"

Mom: "Yup."

Arya stabs Meryn's eyes out

Me: "Jesus fuck!"

Mom: "Yeah! Both eyes."

Me: .....

Mom: "Wooh! She can do it! But she was supposed to kill the other guy."

Jaqen and that creepy girl find her

Me: "Uh oh."

Jaqen drinks the poison

Me: "What?"

Arya takes a bunch of faces off the corpse

Me: "What. The. Fuck."

Arya goes blind

Me: "Whaaat?"

Mom: "Oh my God."

I... I don't know what happened. But it's going to give me nightmares.

-

Dorne

Mom: "So winter doesn't go there?"

Me: "What? I don't know."

Like I control the climate of Westeros

Jamie: (to Marcella) "Your mother's desperate to see you."

Mom: "She's not there!"

Me: "Jamie missed a lot of memos."

Jamie: "There's something I have to tell you..."

Me: "Oh God."

Mom: "Shit."

Jamie: "We don't choose who we love."

Mom: "Fuuuuck."

Marcella: "I'm glad that you're my father."

Me: "Well, she's gonna die."

Mom: "Yeah, the good ones always die."

Mom: "Poison on her lips. Kiss of death."

Marcella starts to die

Me: "Hot damn."

Mom: "Just like her brother."

Mom: "OH, turn the boat around, head back, and grab that bitch."

Me: "I really don't like them."

Seriously, Oberyn's bitch spawn and hell skank gots to go. They don't even make sense.

-

Meereen

Tyrion, Dario, and Jorah all chilling on the steps

Mom: "What do they do, while she's off on the dragon?"

Varys: "Hello, old friend."

Mom: "Oh Em Gee!"

-

Wherever the fuck Daenerys is with Drogon

Mom: "It's so pretty. Where do they film this?"

Me: "I can't look it up until we're done with the show. I can't look anything up."

Daenerys tries to get Drogon to take her back to Meereen

Mom: "He's like 'I need sleep.'"

Dothraki khalasar rolls up

Mom: "Shit."

-

King's Landing

Cersei in the cell

Me: "Meanwhile."

Cersei: "Am I free to go?"

High Septim: "After your atonement."

Me: "Uh oh."

Scrubbing and head sheering

Mom: "She's gonna have them all beheaded."

High Septim says she'll make her walk of atonement

Me: "Well, that doesn't sound good."

Mom: "She's gotta walk through all them."

They disrobe her

Me: "OH!"

Mom: "Naked!!"

Walk of shame

Me: "Oh, these guys are fucked."

The walk keeps getting grosser

Mom: "Oh my God, when she gets back there."

Uh... The Mountain?

Mom: "Noooo! The Mountain!"

Me: "What the fuck?"

Shit's starting to get real weird, guys.

-

The Wall

Davos tries to get Jon to rally his men for Stannis

Mom: "Stannis is dead."

Me: "He doesn't know that yet."

Melisandre arrives and says nothing

Jon reads a bunch of scrolls

Mom: "What's he seeing if he can get help?"

Me: "I don't know what he's reading. It doesn't look like good news."

Ollie tells Jon there's news about Benjen

Mom: "Oh, good. He needs him."

Me: "How is he still alive?"

Traitor

Me: *gasp*

Stab stab stab

Mom: "No!"

Me: "But he's in the new ones. He was in that coffee cup screenshot."

Mom: "Yeah, what the hell?"

Ollie stabs him

Mom: "Sam would've died too. Good thing he left."

Mom: "Something magical's gotta happen."

Me: "Well, obviously."

Mom: "He's in the new ones."

Me: "I knew that kid was a shitty steward."

[dingoes8myrp]

Mom Reacts to Game of Thrones 1x04

My mom wanted to know "the deal with the dragon lady" she saw on Ellen a few weeks ago. So, we're watching Game of Thrones. Here's what happened. Spoilers ahead for episode 1x04.

-

Mom: (on Tyrion) "I like him."

Me: "You like him now?"

Mom: "He’s a snob, but he’s a realist and he’s smart. But, he thinks that white walker stuff’s made up."

Mom's very into the white walkers.

-

Bran: *has his first crow dream*

Mom: "Oh, it’s the third eye! Ooooh!" (excited)

-

Sam: *arrives at the wall*

Mom: "Oh, they’re screwed."

-

Ned: *pokes around about the book the previous hand was reading*

Mom: "Is that a family tree this murdered guy was looking into? Oooh."

-

Mom: (on Samwell Tarly) "He doesn’t see well and he’s scared of heights. Are you kidding me?"

-

Mom: (as soon as Gendry appears) "Holy shit, that’s the king’s son!"

Always two steps ahead of Ned.

-

Jory: *tries to give Ned's damning letter to Jamie to give to the king*

Mom: "Oh God, no!"

Jamie: *refuses with some shade thrown in*

Mom: "Lucky Jamie's an asshole and doesn't want to read that. Jesus."

-

Jon: *tells a story about Roz to Sam*

Mom: "Jeez, everybody knows Roz."

-

Mom: (on Robert) "This guy’s just a drunk. Worst king ever."

Wait until she sees the other possibilities.

-

The Mountain: *kills the shit out of Hugh in a joust*

Mom: (horrified) "Ohhh God! That mountain guy doesn’t fuck around."

-

Cersei: *pops in to visit Ned*

Mom: (frustrated) "The knife’s sitting there and the book’s open. What the fuck, Ned?"

Two steps ahead again!

-

Tyrion: *recognizes Catelyn in the inn/tavern*

Mom: "Shit! Shit! You little shit!"

Catelyn: *starts pointing out all her friends*

Mom: "Damn. Who knew Catelyn had friends?"

[dingoes8myrp]

Mom Reacts to Game of Thrones 1x02

My mom wanted to know "the deal with the dragon lady" she saw on Ellen a few weeks ago. So, we're watching Game of Thrones. Here's what happened. Spoilers ahead for episode 1x02.

-

Cersei: *comforts Catelyn at Bran's bedside*

Mom: (surprised) "I thought she was gonna be a bitch and say 'put him out of his misery' or something... but I also didn’t think her brother would push the kid out the window."

In a surprise turn of events, Mom is warming up to Cersei.

-

Jamie: *talks shit to Jon Snow*

Mom: "That guy is such a dick. SUCH a dick."

Mom's fondness for Jamie is no match for her love of Jon Snow.

-

Jon: *says goodbye to Ned and starts riding for the wall*

Mom: "Wait, so they just send him to the wall with all the zombies and crap?!"

-

Robert: *talks about his fear of Danaerys Targaryan and how people think he's an usurper*

Mom: "Why can’t everyone just get along? What the hell?"

Me: "You're not gonna like the rest of the show..."

-

Drogo: *enters tent*

Mom: "He wants sex again?! Oh, God, this poor little thing."

Sidenote, every time Jason Mamoa appears on screen my mom sits up straight and says "Oh, boy."

-

Joffrey: *encourages Sansa to drink wine while they're walking along the river*

Mom: "Bow-chica-wow-wow."

Her second wrongest prediction so far.

-

Arya: *disarms Joffrey, tosses his sword, and takes off*

Mom: "That little girl’s a badass."

-

Ned and Robert debate what to do about Joffrey, Arya, and the wolf.

Mom: "All over this little pussy boy?!"

-

Cersei: *orders the death of Lady the direwolf*

Mom: "I changed my mind. Her brother is nice compared to her. She’s the one I hate."

[dingoes8myrp]

Mom on Game of Thrones 8

Mom: "Okay, I think Margaery's going to kill Joffrey. Probably with the crossbow he teaches her to use. Blog it."

[dingoes8myrp]

Mom Reacts to Game of Thrones 3x09

My mom wanted to know "the deal with the dragon lady" she saw on Ellen a few weeks ago. So, we're watching Game of Thrones. Here's what happened. Spoilers ahead for episode 3x09.

-

Before the show

Mom: "I want to know what happened to the guy who got his thing cut off. Who is this guy torturing him? You know what I think? I think those were his kids or something that he burned. He must be torturing him for a reason."

Oh, if only there were a reason.

Phone rings

Mom: "Oh God." *lets it ring*

Screenshot comes up of Robb and Catelyn at the Frey hall.

Me: *agonized groan*

Mom: "What?!"

Me: "My back hurts."

I can't tell her, guys.

-

Recap

Sam and Gilly

Mom: "Those blades! They kill them! He shouldn't have left that blade behind."

-

The Map and Theme Song

We like to find new places on the map when they come up and we hum the theme song. It's like a little game. Whoever spots something new on the map first wins. The prize is nothing.

Mom: *distracted by the cat*

Me: "The Twins! New place!"

Mom: "Oh, damn it! I missed it!"

-

Robb and Catelyn talk about going after Casterly Rock.

Catelyn: "Show them how it feels to lose what they love."

Mom: "No mercy."

Me: *pretends to pay close attention to something on the computer because uuuugh this is gonna suck*

Walder Frey brings out all his daughters and granddaughters.

Mom: "How many girls? Jesus."

Mom: "They're all in rags."

Mom: "Which one's the other guy gonna pick? I'll bet Mary. She's probably the prettiest."

-

Sam nerds to Gilly about stuff.

Mom: "He's such a history buff!"

Gilly: "You learned all that from staring at marks on paper? You're like a wizard."

Me: "He's not used to people thinking he's special."

-

The Hound helps a guy put his wagon wheel back on, then punches him.

Mom: "OH!"

-

Bran and Rickon casually talk shit about wildlings.

Osha: *gives them an annoyed look*

Rickon: "Old Nan said they turn your skull into a cup and drink ginger and blood out of it."

Osha: *annoyed look*

Rickon: "That's what Old Nan said!"

Mom: "Hah!"

-

Bran and co in the tower.

Mom: "It's so creepy."

Bran silences Hodor with that weird eye thing.

Mom: *gasp*

Mom: *realizes Jon's with this group of wildlings* "No! He's right there!"

Summer and Shaggy appear.

Mom: "Jon, see the wolves!"

Bird starts pecking at Jon.

Mom: "AHH!"

-

Dario leads Jorah and co through the door.

Mom: "Trap! This is a trap!"

-

Frey wedding

Mom: "Is it Mary?"

The bride is revealed.

Mom: "Oh, the pretty pretty one!"

Mom: "Hah, he's looking at Robb like 'Yup, you could've married her. You missed out, buddy.'"

Me: "Well, he didn't parade that one out anywhere."

Mom: "No! He hid her, the bastard."

-

Bran and co.

Mom: "Jon was right there!!!!"

Jojen: "You got inside Hodor's mind."

Bran: "You can't do that north of the wall?"

Jojen: "No one can do that anywhere."

Mom: "Oh!"

-

Mom: "Now he's in shock he has this gorgeous wife now."

Me: *trying so hard to keep a poker face*

Oh shit, guys. I don't want to watch this again. Hold my hand. Go back in time to before I posted this and hold my damn hand through the computer.

Hall doors close and the band abruptly changes songs.

Mom: "... What is going on?"

The Hound rolls up with Arya.

Mom: "Oh, she's gonna get to see her mom! But they closed the doors..." *confused*

Me: *digging my fingers into the blanket so I don't cringe*

Bolton: *covertly shows Catelyn his armor*

Mom: "Armor?! What? No!"

Talisia: *gets stabbed*

Mom: "AHH! NO! WHAT?! NOO! OH, GOD!"

As things get progressively worse

Mom: "Oh no! OH NO!"

Arya sneaks around outside.

Mom: *to Arya* "Let the wolf out!"

Grey Wind: *gets slaughtered*

Mom: "No!!!"

Robb: *gets stabbed*

Mom: *gasp*

Catelyn: *kills Walder's wife*

Mom: *GASP*

Catelyn: *gets her throat slit*

Mom: "OH!"

Credits

Mom: "SHIT!"

Me: *quietly crying*

Mom: "Shit."

Me: *composing myself* "I watched this season before I read this book. And Robb was my favorite. I did not want to watch this again."

Mom: "Oh my God."

There may be more once we recover. This was a rough one.

[dingoes8myrp]

Mom on Game of Thrones 4

Mom: "Well, how many seasons are there?"

Me: "They're on eight now."

Mom: "Eight?!"

Me: "This is the last one."

Mom: "What?! It's ending now?"

Me: "The show is, yeah."

Mom: "How many would we have to watch a day to catch up?!"

Me: "Mom, I have a job..."

[dingoes8myrp]

Mom Reacts to Game of Thrones 3x07

My mom wanted to know "the deal with the dragon lady" she saw on Ellen a few weeks ago. So, we're watching Game of Thrones. Here's what happened. Spoilers ahead for episode 3x07.

-

Screencap

Mom: "A bear! Oh no! A bear?!"

Me: "I don't remember what happens with the bear."

Mom: "Well, it must be important!"

-

Recap

Mom: (on Ramsay) "This guy is so sick!!!"

Mom: (on Brienne) "Why is he keeping her?! This is terrible!"

-

Mom: (on Robb) "A selfish king. He married someone he loves and he's making the other guy marry some chick he doesn't know."

-

Mom: "Damn! Everyone's naked."

You don't realize how many sex scenes this show has until you're watching with your mom.

-

Talisia: (to Robb) "Can you leave the war for one night?"

Mom: "No, he CAN'T leave the war for one night!"

-

Mom: "The wine! Why is the camera focused on the wine?!"

She's now convinced everyone's wine is poisoned always.

-

Joffrey: *appears on screen*

Mom: "I hate this kid. I hope his grandpa kicks the crap out of him."

Mom: "Hah 'I'm running the show now.'"

-

Locke: "Don't worry about your friend. We'll take good care of her."

Mom: "Shiiiitt."

-

Theon, Myranda, and Violet

Mom: "Something's not right. Something's not right at all. He's drugged or doped or something."

Mom: "Oh God."

Mom: "He can't even fight back! What's wrong with him!"

Mom: "Oh God!!"

Mom: "Is he drugged?"

She really hopes this isn't about to happen.

-

Mom: "He's gotta go back and help her!" (on Jamie and Brienne)

Mom: "Get her! Save her! Oh God!"

Mom: "What the bear?! Are you kidding me?!"

Mom: "Help her!!!"

Jamie: "I'm taking her to King's Landing unless you kill me."

Mom: "Yes!!!"

Pretty sure my mom ships Jamie and Brienne.

[dingoes8myrp]

Mom Reacts to Game of Thrones 3x04

My mom wanted to know "the deal with the dragon lady" she saw on Ellen a few weeks ago. So, we're watching Game of Thrones. Here's what happened. Spoilers ahead for episode 3x04.

-

Daenerys: *appears on screen*

Mom: "Love her."

-

Craster's keep.

Mom: "What do they do with the babies?! Do they eat them??

-

Theon: "My real father lost his head at King's Landing."

Mom: "His real father!!!"

Theon: *back at the rack*

Mom: "Oh no!!!"

-

Olenna: "Seduce away! It's been so long... What happens whtn the non-existence bumps up agains the decrepit?"

Mom: "Hah!"

-

Night's Watchman: *talks shit to Craster*

Mom: "Oh!"

Other Night's Watchman: *goes after Mormont*

Mom: "Oh!!"

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Astapor

Mom: She can't leave without her dragons!

Daenerys: "Dracaris."

Mom: "FIRE!"

Mom: "So good! She's so badass! She understood everything he said!"

She's here for Dany and her army.

[dingoes8myrp]

Mom Reacts to Game of Thrones 3x02

My mom wanted to know "the deal with the dragon lady" she saw on Ellen a few weeks ago. So, we're watching Game of Thrones. Here's what happened. Spoilers ahead for episode 3x02.

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Mom: (on Joffrey and Margaery) "He is so hot for this girl. She's hot and brave. Everything he's not."

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Roz: "Watch out for her with him."

Mom: "Oh, yeah. If he can't have Catelyn he'll take her daughter."

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Looking at the map.

Me: "Oh, Winterfell's all smokey and burned now!!!"

Mom: "Oh, it is!"

Me: "Okay, Slaver's Bay is the new place. That's where Daenerys is."

Mom: "Oh, where the guy cut the dude's nipple off. Jesus Christ."

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Me: "Wow. I didn't notice how big Bran got between season 2 and 3."

Mom: "He did! He's almost as tall as Jon and Robb!"

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Bolton: "Word from Riverrun and Winterfell."

Mom: "Oh no!"

Damn right, oh no.

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Theon: *wakes up strappedto a board*

Mom: "Oh, God."

Theon: *gets his fingernail stabbed*

Mom: "OH JESUS!"

Lady, you don't know the half of it.

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Jamie: "I would've noticed your dour head smacking into the archways."

Me: "He's such an asshole."

Mom: "He's a dick."

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Loras: *escorts Sansa to meet with Margaery and Olenna*

Mom: "Oh, goodness."

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Olenna: "Once the cow's been milked, you can't squirt the cream back up her udders, so here we are."

Mom: "Hah!"

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Olenna: "Has this boy mistreated you?"

Mom: "Yes! Tell her yes!"

Mom: "She got it out, thank God! Don't say he's great, he's awesome, he's fantastic."

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Catelyn: *talks about sitting with one of her baby boys all night when he was sick*

Talisia: "Which boy?"

Catelyn: "Jon Snow."

Mom: "Aww."

Catelyn: *reveals she prayed to the gods for the boy to die and he got the pox*

Mom: "Oh."

Catelyn: *says she prayed for him to live because she was awful*

Mom: "Ah."

Catelyn: *says she promised to love Jon and make him a Stark*

Mom: "Oh!"

Catelyn: "I couldn't keep my promise."

Mom: "Oh, for Christ sake."

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Warg: *sees through the bird's eyes*

Mom: "Oh!"

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Jojen: *shows up and backs off Summer*

Mom: "Who is this kid?!"

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Theon: *screams in agony*

Mom: "What're they doing?!"

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Mom: "What's it called when you watch a thing all at once?"

Me: "Binge watching."

Mom: "People wait a week to see a new one of these? Are you kidding?"

Wait until I tell her how long between books.

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Mom: "Who is this kid?! And why was he in Bran's dream?" (on Jojen)

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The Hound: *is unhooded*

Mom: "No!"

The Hound: "What in seven hells are you doing with the Stark bitch?"

Mom: "Oh, God."

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Jamie: *talks shit to Brienne*

Mom: "She's saving your life along the way, you dick!"

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Jamie: *manages to get a sword*

Brienne: *pulls her sword*

Mom: "You wanna start?! He's got chains on! The fuck is he doing?"

Mom: "Get him! Get him!"

Brienne: *beats Jamie*

Mom: "Yeah! Fuck you!"