#manager and I have both tried fruitlessly to teach this kid how to act right

[lokilickedme]

Since I’m now apparently this town’s version of Steve Harrington I’m going to have to start an OPC ISTG tag (Other People’s Children I Swear To God) because the generation I’m working with have zero peopleing skills and even less common sense and if I have to say “that’s not how life works babydoll” one more time I’m going to stand with my mouth open under the hot caramel dispenser on Monday morning and dare management to say a word to me.

Last week a teen girl who’s been working there only slightly longer than I have was following me around, micromanaging literally every move I made with the haughty tone of a boss trying to bully a worker into quitting.  She’s recently turned 18 and acts like this to everyone.  I, being the mom of two boys (one of whom is a teenager almost as old as this girl) have complete mastery over the unconcerned dismissive “Okay thanks” response that precedes turning around and walking off to the point where I can do it without the victim even realizing I’m humoring and subsequently ignoring their annoying ass.  But this girl is relentless and after just about two hours of nonstop badgering I stood up from where I’d been loading the vanilla sauce and said our manager’s name, loud enough to be heard in the lobby.

Teen girl stopped where she stood, silent for the first time all morning, obviously confused.

And then she started in on me again.

“Actually the way we normally do it is you - “

“Okay thanks hon, why don’t you go take care of your own business now I got this.”

“Well actually - “

“Okay, I guess we’re doing this the other way then.  KATRINA!!”

Our manager (Katrina) pokes her head out of the office and I head straight for her and proceed to spend the next two minutes telling her why I’m going to walk out and unlock my bike and go for a nice long ride around town during the upcoming lunch rush if she doesn’t do one thing and one thing only, and that is to get Teen Mansplainer away from me so I can work without the constant haranguement of a know it all child yammering at my face.

Manager immediately sends Teen Mansplainer home, because of the two of us I’m the only one who does much of anything besides talking and I’m also the one she hopes won’t quit because I’m literally the only adult on staff except her (and I’m 20 years older than her as well).  Teen Mansplainer grabs her gear and leaves without a word, but I yell “Be careful going home babe!” as the door slams behind her.

She’s off the schedule for the next two days, which are coincidentally my two other workdays for the week.

Have I mentioned that I love Katrina the manager?

So on Friday I’m home enjoying the start to my weekend when I get a call from an unknown number, but it’s local and I’m expecting a call from my maxillo-craniofacial surgeon, so I answer it.  It’s not my maxillo-craniofacial surgeon.

It’s Teen Mansplainer.

She proceeds to whine to me that she didn’t get enough hours last week and she’s not going to get enough hours next week either because she’s suddenly only scheduled for two days instead of her normal five (coincidentally her two days on are my two days off LOL) and anyway, could she have my Monday shift?

I think I must have sat there with my mouth open and speechless for a full minute.  She got sent home and taken off the schedule for harassing and constantly bothering me and then had the unmitigated balls and testicles to call me up (dunno how she even got my number) and ask if she could have one of my workdays to make up the time she lost by being an annoying little asshole...to me.

My my my, what do we have here?  Is it a consequence?  Oh my goodness look at all this consequence coming back on me as a result of my own actions, wow, didn’t see that coming!

I tell her no and hang up.

Other people’s children, I swear to god.

This week should be interesting if she’s managed to wrangle any days out of anyone else and we happen to overlap in the process.  I’ve made it clear to management that I have two other places ready to give me better positions than this one and the only reason I chose this job was because it’s right next to my house, but I can absolutely ride a little bit further to get away from the noxious self importance of kids that don’t belong to me, all she’s gotta do is not take me serious.

My manager is extremely understanding on this matter.

Today is Sunday.  She’s called me twice to make sure we’re cool and that I’m coming in on Monday.

Watch, in just about two weeks I’m gonna get a raise.

I give Teen Mansplainer just about the same amount of time before she’s turning in her application at Wendy’s.