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midnightanxietytm · 6 months

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He takes his whiskey neat

A/N: Look, I think i was possessed while writing this one /j. It was like 1 am and I was procrastination on college work, I dunno what happened but this is the ungodly spawn of my imagination mixed with sleep deprivation, caffeine and stress. Enjoy and don't question it too much

Contents: Ford Pines x reader, pinning (lots of pining), I pictured reader in their late 40s to early 50s so there is an age gap but nothing extreme. There's some plot in those holes. uhhh lots of tension and no payoff because im pretty sure I passed out before I got to that part.

Word count: 996

There’s this look on his eyes now that you can’t quite figure out.

Ever since Stanford Pines came back from the portal, ever since weirdmageddon and the end of that fateful summer, something about him fundamentally changed. There’s contempt, relief, sure, but there's more to it, something that he keeps deep in that rattling metal-protected brain of his.

And god forbid sometimes you just want to pick him apart entirely, figure out every detail, note it down, absorb it, maybe then his mere presence won’t entice you, mess you, so goddamn much.

It culminates, as all events are bound to do, right before that year’s summer vacation, you blame the heat.

Soos and Melody took a vacation for themselves, entrusting the shack back to Stan’s less than trustworthy hands, just like old times. Ford slips back into the basement so easily you almost follow him; your mind briefly longing for that nostalgia of being freshly out of college, when you and Ford were easily impressed by the oddness of the world.

You were a prodigy; a good ten years younger than him yet still doing your masters while he did his doctorate, and in the same area with similar themes! Back then, you two were just bright-eyed yet very tired academics… Then Gravity Falls presented itself on a silver platter, and Bill followed through.

You were there, on the day of the portal, or at least, almost there, going back for the thousandth time, expecting no answer to your knocks at the door as usual, only to be met with the fallout of something far worse than refusal.

And then he was back, less jittery, less paranoid and less sleep deprived than he was before at least. But there was that thing in his eyes, that inherent distrust, detachment…? You struggled to find the words and if there’s one thing that you as a scientist can’t deal with is a question that goes unresearched.

So it began; your “research” depended on experiment and to experiment, you firstly decided to get close to your unwilling subject. And you go down the rabbit hole.

You find him in the basement, of course. He’s drawing on loose sheets of paper, some of the discarded pieces lay on the floor, and the cd player by his side is playing just loud enough to muffle your footsteps as you approach him by his right side. “Updating the journal?” You ask, nonchalantly, as if you hadn't obsessively turned each page of his journals before, as if your own handwriting wasn’t squeezed in the first ones before his old muse took all the space left.

Ford just hums, raising his chin slightly, but not his eyes, just to acknowledge the question. “Not really, just trying to get some proportion practice. Looking back, some of my work on the first journal was… Not the best.”

A chuckle leaves your mouth; “If you say so…” You hum, picking up one of the filled out pages that were pushed aside in the table and pretending to look it over as he places his pen down and looks up at you.

“Any advice?” He asks, and once again you pretend to be paying attention to anything but him and his every movement.

“Not really… I think you’re good.” You place the paper back at the table, leaning against it. “Thought you’d be going through your abstract phase by now, honestly.” And you smirk down at him.

He leans back, crossing his arms; “I fear I’m too logical to have an abstract phase, even my craziest dreams have math and science behind them.” And you both laugh, and your curiosity itches more and more every millisecond.

The next words that leave your mouth were planned and inwardly rehearsed, but they come out natural as a summer breeze. “Every tortured artist has an abstract phase, get on with the times, sixer!” It comes out as a joke, it's a test. And suddenly you’re too nervous to stay there, staring at him and waiting for a rebuttal. You push yourself off the table and zipline to one of the bookshelves, reaching towards the back of it, you pull the ‘eureka whiskey’ and the two cups.

He just watches you for a second, then accepts the cup as you pour him one, then one for yourself.

And it’s truly the eureka whiskey, because goddamn you just found something in those eyes.

He takes a sip; “Yeah I guess those portal days would do for some good surrealist pieces at least.”

“I can’t even imagine.” You say.

He smirks, lips inches from his cup. “You can’t…” He takes a sip. “That’s the point of surrealist.” You want his brain under a microscope, you want his breath mixing with yours, you want to never see him again, you want to wake up near him every day.

The curse of science is that in the endeavor to figure out the world, the scientist often loses sight of themselves.

The witty remarks, the planned lines, the psychological strategies, all fly out of you head and you lean back against his desk. He’s leaned further back now and his chair is turned diagonally towards you and he watches with a smile and those eyes. “What did you see?” It’s almost a whisper, because you think he might actually tell you, and that scares you more than anything.

“Too much…” He swallows, sighs, takes a swing of whiskey and rests the empty cup on the desk. “It was very chaotic, honestly that’s all I want to say…” You sigh, pushing yourself up to sit at his desk, and his head tilts as he watches you.

“I’m glad you’re back.” You settle, even though it doesn’t even come near to all the things you want to express. He smiles, and his eyes travel down, landing on your hands, holding your barely touched whiskey glass. You follow his gaze, and chuckle. “I’m more of a whine person.”

“I know…”

#midnight writes #taking requests #ford pines #ford x reader #ford pines x reader #grunkle ford #swooning over stans #fanfic writing #gravity falls #mutual pining #title inspired hozier's song #you know which one #too sweet #the author regrets nothing #hozier reference #asks open

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littlelordfuckler0y · 1 year

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social media!au for tvd where the reader is dating damon plsss :) i love ur writing sm ❤️

Hi hi thank you so much lovely

I rarely do social media aus anymore but I’ll never ignore reqs so (this took me 1 million years I’m so sorry) 😭

Damon Salvatore x fem!reader Instagram au

yourusername it’s in the eyes they say

@Carebear oh my god are we keeping it???

@stefaNN18 I’m not saying we shouldn’t but sometimes it gets so annoying

@yourusername We could all collectively take turns to look after it

@Carebear YES! We’d have to name it something!!

@stefaNN18 I thought we were talking about Damon…

@Bonbonnie why are the eyebrows so high

@Yourusername he thinks he looks intimidating

@Dam0nsalvatore thinks???

carebare Y/n - 0 Damon - 1

@Yourusername No power in the world will make me voluntarily get up, get dressed and go to the bar

@gilbertelenaaa Amen!

@Enzoofficial So I got bailed on the outing bc of HER?

@Yourusername Guilty your honour

@Enzoofficial YOU—

@Dam0nsalvatore No actually I still couldn’t get her to leave the house and we stayed in and watched Netflix👍

@Carebare as it should be!

bonbonnie Stealing y/n’s phone so she could be “present” present at the girl’s trip

@gilbertelenaaaa so far so good! (She is like a whining toddler for a her phone)

@Carebare And to think Damon could have this effect🤮

@StefaNN so this is why Damon’s constantly sending death threats in the group chat

@Enzoofficial No mate that’s on you he doesn’t like loosing super mario cart apparently

@Dam0nsalvatore I’ve not talked to her this whole day wdym 🙄

@Bonbonnie We’ve seen you on FaceTime 5 times today????

yourusername update: we’re keeping it!!!!!!

@Bonbonnie YESSSSS!!!

@enzoofficial how about we name it demon spawn?

@Yourusername why would we…? Why would anyone?

@enzoofficial it sounds edgy and cool

@Dam0nsalvatore you can tell who he prefers more

@Yourusername no need to be smug about it

@Carebare POOKIE BEAR🥹

@stefaNN18 really? Can’t we give this a second thought? He doesn’t even help around the house and takes my car without permission

@Yourusername what?

@Dam0nsalvatore he’s referring to me

Dam0nsalvatore a few more glasses of wine and this will get real funny

tagged: your username

@stefaNN18 ugh keep it pg 13??

@Carebare As if we can’t hear you guys🙄

@Dam0nsalvatore What are you talking about I meant funny as in JUST funny

@gilbertelenaaaa y/n is immortal in chess

@Enzoofficial your woman is a vicious cheater at this game if you even care

@Yourusername I did NOT cheat you just suck at chess + cry me a river + grow up + you’re British + unfunny + I beat you 4 times

—

[masterlist]

HI IM NOT DEAD

I LOVE YOU <3333333333

#damon salvatore x you #damon salvatore x y/n #damon salvatore imagine #damon salvatore x reader #damon salvatore #the vampire diaries #the vampire diaries imagines #instagram au #vampire diaries #stefan salvatore #stefan salvatore x reader #klaus mikaleson imagine #klaus mikealson x reader

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bad268 · 7 months

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Could you do another pezzy fic? Maybe even the rest of the boys too (puffer, droid, Grizzy) something like a faceless streamer getting like made fun of and the boys help them?

Agoraphobic (Pezzy X Faceless! Reader)

Fandom: RPF/Miscellaneous

Requested: Clearly (You caught me in a Pezzy mood, so I tried it lmk if it's shit)

Warnings: Online hate, agoraphobia

POV: First Person POV

W.C. 1291

Summary: When chat takes hate too far, the reader quits only to return for more hate (and loosely based on Agoraphobic by Corpse Husband).

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^Pinterest)

My whole career started by accident. The pandemic shut down everything, including where I worked, and I got laid off. Streaming became a sense of normalcy in the craziness that was the world. Games were what I did best given that I was a game designer and tester.

It started one night when my boyfriend, Pezzy, talked about it. He said his friends were thinking about it, so the next day, I logged onto Twitch.tv and streamed my favorite game for the moment, Among Us. It was a low-IQ game, and the fun graphics were interesting to look at. I joined a random lobby, and the rest was history.

I blew up from my imposter plays and impeccable detective skills. My viewers went from 10 to 100 to 1,000 and before I knew it, I was at 250,000 viewers. Through this time, I never care about a camera. Mainly because I knew they would tear me apart, and I would not subject myself to that torture. However, recently, it seemed that people did not even need to see my face to trash me.

“If you guys can’t behave, I’m going to either get more mods or just quit,” I said one day on stream when it seemed like the hate was never-ending. Every other message I saw was a comment about how I am probably ugly, I can’t pull anyone, or just flat-out calling me degrading names.

It never stopped.

I put up with it for nearly four years before calling it quits. Despite the support from Pezzy, telling me not to listen to anyone else, it was hard to be berated every second of every stream especially when it seemed like everyone used the highlighted texts or text-to-speech to shout at me.

It really took a toll on my mental health. I became so self-conscious, and the fact that I had severe social anxiety did not help my case. I retreated into myself as I got bigger, and the bigger I got, the more paranoid I got. It got so bad to the point where I retreated into my house, and I could barely function without antidepressants.

One day, I was feeling spontaneous. I wanted to stream. I wanted to game. I wanted to interact with people. I asked Pezzy if I could join him for a Mario Kart stream, but play off-camera in the same room.

The stream started off fun. I won a few, lost a few, and had some fun battles in the game against Pezzy’s friends. Then, it turned south.

Ex-fans and haters filled Pezzy’s chat and his friends’ streams. Their mods could not keep up either. It was becoming the only thing we could see, and it was getting in the way of their normal conversations with their chats.

“Mods, do we need some backup? Where did these people even come from?” Puffer said as he looked to his moderators for help, but noticed they were doing as much as they could. “There’s so many of them!”

“It’s like they spawned out of nowhere,” Grizzy laughed before getting serious as well, “but for real guys, knock it off. They’re not doing anything wrong.”

“Yeah, if it doesn’t stop, I’ll end stream right now,” Pezzy gave an ultimatum as he looked over at me to see how I was reacting. I was pretty numb, but my mood was visibly ruined. “You know what, guys. I’m gonna end the stream anyway. I don’t know when I’ll stream next, so look at my Twitter. Bye, guys.”

The other guys did not need to be told twice as they followed suit and ended their stream as well. They each sent reassuring messages to me as I left the room once the camera was off.

I walked outside to sit on the patio. Since we just moved to the new house, we had not had the chance to get patio furniture yet, so I took a seat on the concrete. I was still under the cover, but I sat right on the edge. It was pouring rain, something that rarely ever happened, but it was my favorite weather. Rain was always so calming for me, and it made me feel at peace despite the thunder I read online.

After a while, Pezzy joined me. He sat beside me with a blanket that he put over my shoulders and pulled me into his side. The serenity of the rain combined with the comfort from Pezzy helped calm my racing heart.

“I love when it rains” I broke the silence, looking out into the yard as I refused to look toward Pezzy. I let it hang in the air for a beat before I sighed, “I can’t do shit right. I can’t learn my lesson. They don’t want me online, but they give me shit for not streaming. I can’t even play with your friends without them finding me.”

“It’s not your fault they’re assholes,” Pezzy consoled as he rubbed his hand up and down my arm. “It’s never been your fault.”

“It’s my fault I subjected myself to it in the first place,” I pointed out. “If I had never streamed in the first place, I never would have been in this situation. These people are taking the piss out of gaming, and I’m sick of it! I can’t go outside without thinking someone will find me! I am so paranoid about my privacy. It’s like I’m on house arrest.”

“You know the odds of someone recognizing you are slim to none,” Pezzy tried to intervene as I spiraled.

“No, Pezzy, you don’t understand how I think,” I pressed, turning to look at him as I grabbed his hands. “Pezzy, they’re always asking questions about my face, and I can’t stand it. They will stop at nothing to get what they want. I lived in three apartments before I agreed to move in because somehow, someway, someone found out where I lived, or at least they found my P.O. box and said they knew my address. I live in fear every day that someone is going to find me.” I stopped for a second to let Pezzy absorb what I was saying. I could see the recognition in his eyes. I continued, “Pezzy, it has been 1000 days since I had the first threat. I have not been able to function for 1000 days. I love you, Pezzy, but you will never understand how I think. It’s just too complicated.”

“Listen, I may not understand it completely, but I’d like to. I love you too, and I never understand you fully, but I will always be here to support you,” He leaned in to kiss my forehead before leaning his forehead to mine. “I don’t want you to fight your battles alone. I’m here for you. I do not care how many people I gotta fight to tell you otherwise. I’ll fight from the trenches if I have to if it means I get to help you through anything causing you pain.”

“You don’t mean that,” I dismissed, looking away as I felt tears fill my eyes. “You really don’t, Pezzy. As much as I know you care, there is no way you’d be willing to help me in that way.”

“I do! I’d do anything for you,” Pezzy consoled as he put a hand on my chin to turn my face to look at him again. “I’m with you till the end of the line, remember? We’ve known each other our whole lives, and I’m not leaving your side. I don’t care how dark or difficult it may seem. You are my person till the end of the line, and I’m here for the long ride.”

~~~~~

#pezzy x reader #pezzy #pezzy x you #pezzy x y/n #big puffer #bigpuffer #grizzy #elastic droid #elasticdroid #hurt/comfort #youtuber oneshot #youtube #youtubers #bad268 #ship268 #thing268

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gaspshichat · 6 months

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pearl quotes !!

i write down a lot of pearl quotes and sometimes share them in her discord server. i've decided to put every single one i've gathered into one tumblr post. i will reblog the most recent addition every saturday with any new quotes that i have acquired. you can also send me quotes in my ask box or my dms on twitter [username is gaspshichat, like usual]. no guarantees that they'll be added though!

a lot of these quotes are sus and very out of context. that is part of the point! if pearl wants me to delete this, i absolutely will

[before it gets asked, karn is her bestie boyfriend]

~|•🌙•|~

pearl: before we do that let me restock my balls

pearl: ooh there's things happening on the ser- A BEACON ????

pearl: don't thank me because i didn't approve of it

pearl: i hope you guys understood what i said because i didn't

pearl: "you killed a frog?" yup! it was for science......let it be known that is a terrible excuse in real life

pearl: "do you take iron tablets?" i have them!

pearl to keralis: well you're a letdown but i don't talk about that

pearl: fix ai, make them breedable

pearl: i got the double p! please don't acronym that

pearl: "do you use slabs in terraforming?" *zooms in on a slab she used for terraforming* no

pearl: "don't sell yourself short" it's okay i'm tall

pearl: they don't bite! much..

pearl: doc owes me child support!

*long, stunned silence*

cleo: ....okay….

cleo: so keralis did the kidnapping, and you did kidnapping by proxy

pearl: ...no

pearl: it was a heart of mutton. it was creepy

cleo: it was a meat heart :D

cleo: i want to mail horrible things, like animals, to iskall

pearl: oh! that's horrid

pearl: "you charge your other mats rent?" yes

pearl: i don't know if this is lag or if my balls are just popping in really slowly

pearl: these balls ain't going away

pearl: let me move my balls aside for you

pearl: hello ♪

karn: is it me you're looking for ♪

pearl: no ♪

karn: oh :(

pearl: i don't need a big, strong man to kill me

pearl: turn down the thing you need to turn down...you know what it is

karn: i fractured the world from what i can tell

pearl: ..bruh

pearl: what does the button do?

karn: THE BUTTON SHUTS THE DOORS ON US AND SPAWNS A BUNCH OF MOBS

pearl: i pushed the button hehe

pearl: cleo made the child

false: ...the child?

pearl: yeah :D it's a bebe

pearl: "why are there beach umbrellas at the post office?" *long pause* maybe it's because of all the water?

pearl: you caught me mid construction

gem: i know >:3

pearl: he's letting his babies loose

gem: look at you up there. you're adorable *punches her*

pearl: aH-

pearl: i am greatly navigationally challenged right now

pearl: i got too comfortable with hermitcraft actually working

pearl: ah! moist!

pearl: anyway that's completely distracted me away from my really passionate rockies

pearl: we have pickles to do !!

karn: let's not sit on the balls

pearl: 🤨

karn: *holds up cat toys*

pearl: oh- *starts laughing and hides her very red face*

pearl: just shove it in

pearl: how do you know what brimstone tastes like

karn: i've lived quite the life

pearl: give it a suck

pearl: our feet are not equal

karn: why are you bringing our feet into this ??

pearl: i could give you the australian bestie word-

karn, oblivious: alright

pearl: -but it's not pg

karn, realizing: ahhh

karn: it's a mental thing, you see

pearl: oh

karn: yes, i'm mentally stuck here

pearl: i see

karn: yes, i'm in a position where i don't want to leave-

pearl: that's very intense for a friend

karn: it's just as sweet as you

pearl: don't butter me up

karn: too late!

pearl: i'm flee with extra flee

karn: you okay, my dear?

pearl: *sobbing*

pearl: did you pee in the ocean?

karn, instantly: yes

pearl: stop wasting your bullets!

karn: sorry ☹️

pearl: did you think his ass was his face ????

pearl: in what realm is a butthole a face ????

karn: *trying to explain*

pearl: babe :I

pearl: take that you stupid ass robot

karn: on the count of three. one-

pearl: *starts blasting*

pearl: stupid ass spider

pearl: a butt is clearly defined by two cheeks, a hole, and a tail!

pearl: [karn] is very special. in multiple ways

#pearlescentmoon #hc 10 #hermitcraft 10 #pearlescentmoon quotes #hermitcraft 10 quotes #hc 10 quotes #correct quotes #funny quotes #any quotes from tomorrow's video will be added onto next week's quote batch

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spacer-case · 6 months

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...and when the last blood-beast comes to rest unto the Earth, what next will arrive to inherit it?

i drew this sci fi piece for my portfolio, but it also turned loosely into a marcoace au because my brain got zoomies

short version: guy on a joyride (coughs ace) accidentally travels to another world filled with mythological-ish creatures, but they're actually all robots mimicking life with no real sentience of their own - except one lone, lonely consciousness (coughs marco) whose mind was digitally preserved before the rest of organic life got wiped out, and has been waiting a long time for a friend

long nerdy version under the cut:

ace's world is a fun and scrappy sci fi future world, with stuff like his hovercraft that syncs to his body's movements too

he was out riding with deuce and got too caught up in the thrill of flying that he went way out of safe bounds (not pictured: deuce panicking) and got swallowed by a giant sky beast

somehow (i haven't thought that hard about it) he appears in marco's world after this - when i first had this idea i was just thinking of a literal reference to the philosophical concept of animals as other worlds/animal alterity, a la Barbara Noske), plus i like the idea of gateways being where you least expect them

anyway yeah he gets isekai'd

enter: marco's world!! this is a land where organic life once thrived, including sentient beings (i haven't decided if they were also humans), but all organic life has long since died out and given way to a new, constructed "ecology"

it's full of seemingly mythological-ish creatures (phoenix, dragon, etc. but all are also warped from what we would imagine)!! but SIKE they are actually robots; cybernetic constructs!!! each one goes through the motions of life for many years until they steadily break down. their parts get recycled and they are remade to spawn from egg-like structures (like the one in the bottom left corner of the drawing)

and who is remaking them? MARCO! aka the last, lone remaining consciousness from the sentient race that died out. his mind was preserved digitally, but by the time he awoke he only remembers snapshots of his original life. he continuously cares for and builds all the robots, and uploads himself into different bodies whenever he wants, but no matter what he tries he can't recreate anything truly alive with its own free will

so he's lonely and sad

basically the whole thing was an exploration of the concept of a man-made mythos! and the boundaries of what defines life, will, sentience, etc. etc.

but when he meets ace - a real, living breathing organic human - it will change his life! because............because...i haven't thought that far

many questions remain...is ace's world a past version of marco's? will he find a way to restore organic life to marco's world? should he even do that? will he find a way back home? will they kiss? ? will marco get a human body?? will i ever make something bigger from this or even turn it back into ocs instead of op characters??? will they wear wigs???? when will they wear wigs????????? who knows!

but for now it is what it is hehe

i doubt anyone read all that, but if you did, thank you for your time....here i reward you with a secret:

below is an early sketch of this illustration, and underneath that, the composition originally came from A FAILED DRAWING OF MARCO!!!

the brainrot goes deep :')

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tyrantisterror · 8 months

Note

You seem to have been enjoying Baldur's Gate III a lot. Would you mind giving your thoughts on the individual companions? I'm just curious to see what your take on them is.

Yeah sure! The game's been rotting my brain for months now in part because of its character writing, so I can stand to gush about the companions a bit.

Before we get to the companions individually, I want to talk about them as a group, because one of the things that makes this game so impressive to me is its commitment to its core themes, and that extends to how the companions were crafted as a group. See, each of the core six companions have the following things in common:

The mindflayer tadpole that threatens to turn them into a monster against their will (i.e. the thing that gets them all together on a quest)

A personal history of being abused and exploited by someone they trusted

A Want that comes as a result of their personal history of abuse that is self destructive but understandable given their circumstances

A Need that comes as a result of their personal history of abuse that they have written off or ignored because their past makes them think fulfilling it is impossible

A point in their character arc where they will come into conflict with the player character if the player character tries to advocate for their Need over their Want. If the player values the Want over the Need, the relationship will initially go smoother, but end badly.

The overall theme of Baldur's Gate 3 can be loosely summed up in one of its major recurring songs, I Want to Live, and that's ultimately what each character's arc is a variation of: the desperate desire to live in a world that has been trying to kill your mind, body, and soul to the best of its ability. Got it? Cool, we can talk about the characters now that we've got this established.

Oh, and, uh, this game covers some... HEAVY themes, given that abuse is one of the common denominators between the companions. I'm going to try to be gentle in talking about it, but this will cover some of that subject matter, so this is your warning if you want to avoid that.

Companion 1: Astarion, My Bisexual Awakening

youtube

I'm going to start with the companion I feel is the most talked about/popular/overexposed I suppose, Astarion. I feel like anyone with even the vaguest knowledge of Baldur's Gate 3 probably recognizes Astarion at this point, even if it's just as "that annoying vampire twink I'm sick of seeing." There's already a growing "he's popular so he sucks" movement about Astarion here on tumblr and at the cesspool of hate known as Twitter, because of course there is, he's popular, ergo he must suck.

...

I think Astarion is one of the best written video game characters of all time.

There's this one great tumblr post that summarizes Astarion's role in the narrative really well, with the great punchline of "Astarion is kinda like if they sexualized gollum," which is not only funny but perfectly accurate. I can't really top that, so I'm just going to talk around some of its points a bit, but I highly recommend reading it yourself, it's more concise and well-thought out than whatever this ramble will be.

But, ok, so, "I Want to Live" is our theme, right? Astarion is dead. Dead to begin with, Marley style. He has been killed, at a young age, before his time. Sure, he was brought back to a sort of life, being a vampire and a member of the undead and all, but the life he knew is gone. All the pathos one can mine from being a vampire is played up here, for as Astarion himself notes, he's not even a full fledge vampire, but a vampire spawn - "All of the drawbacks, few of the perks." Worse, as a vampire spawn, he's magically bound to the will of the vampire that turned him - forced to live out his undead life as a slave to a sadistic monster that abused him in every way a person can be abused.

Which is why Astarion is the only companion who's entirely thankful for the mindflayers kidnapping him and implanting a tadpole in his head - because they broke that magic connection to his master, and gave him resistances to many of the stock vampire weaknesses to boot (hungry tadpole doesn't want its meat suit burning in the sun, after all). Astarion's life was so fucked that getting a brain-eating parasite was a unilateral improvement.

But while the magic connection is severed, the psychological affect of the abuse Astarion suffered lingers. His master made him use sex as a lure to bring victims to his lair, and so Astarion still believes that he has to offer people sex to "earn his keep" - that his body is a tool for others to use for their gratification, and if he refuses their desires he puts his life at peril. Astarion hates putting himself out to help other people not only because no one has done that for him during his long undead life, but because doing so puts his life at risk. Astarion is power hungry - his Want is to be as strong, no, stronger than his master, so that way he can never be afraid again. Astarion Wants to be a true vampire.

His need, however, is to find value in the life he has now. He needs people who love him for who he is, not what he can offer, and who will protect him the way he has needed protecting for hundreds of years. His need is to be shown that kindness isn't a weakness, that charity is possible, that power does not have to be gained through selfish and cruel means. You're shown this in the game's approval mechanic - while Astarion will disapprove of you putting yourself out on a limb for others and revealing sensitive information freely, he has a soft spot for whenever you help someone who, like him, is being exploited. Because while he'll protest otherwise, Astarion wants to believe kindness is possible, and that the horrible things he's suffered don't define him. Astarion may believe he's just a tool to serve others' desires, but that doesn't mean he doesn't wish to be more than that.

And I know the cynics among you are like "Oh, ok, so the cute vampire twink has a ludicrously tragic backstory. How is that original or good writing?" Because that's the thing, right? If there's an effeminate, brooding bad boy character that lots of teenage girls like in a piece of media, it HAS to be shallow wangst at its core. Every tumblr sexyman is just Edward Cullen when you cut past the bullshit, right?

Like, I know I'm not going to convince the "Thing popular so thing bad" crowd on Astarion's quality no matter how many words I write, but, like, there is a reason for the hype. Dude's got fucking layers! The different interactions with him you can have, the dimensions you can bring out of him by how you choose to engage with him, all paint this great tapestry of a character who takes the concept of a vampire and explores it to a depth few pieces of media have every plunged to.

And he's fucking funny! Dude's got some of the best lines in the game, and his voice actor didn't just give him a sexy sultry voice, but, like, shades of Tim Curry that make him endearingly weird and goofy and witty as hell while still being very sexy.

And yes, he's a sexy vampire, that's a big point in his favor and what most people are dwelling on. And I'm standing by the sexy part - listen, for the past few years I've been kind of wrestling with whether or not I'm bisexual, and the question was laid to rest the first time this fucker flirted with me in game. My heart raced, my cheeks flushed, I reflexively giggled and went "Whoo!" like a Southern Belle in need of a feinting couch. Every time he's flirted with me since has given me the fucking vapors. Thank you, Astarion, I'm bi for sure now. you solved that fucking riddle pretty decisively.

Let's move on.

Companion 2: Shadowheart, A Fellow Lapsed Catholic

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Shadowheart is a bundle of contradictions. She's got some of the best quips and quickest wits in the game, and she's also a huge fucking dork. She is oozing with confidence about the role she's been assigned to play and is incredibly assertive in group social situations, but on her own she's a mess of insecurities and is constantly plagued with doubts about her worth. She's constantly preaching about the need to be pragmatic and self-focused, but loves it whenever you are kind and generous. Depending on your choices during the tutorial level, she can become the first ride-or-die party member you get, and she's also a miserable pile of secrets who is terrified of you discovering what she really is.

See, Shadowheart is a cleric of Shar, the Goddess of Darkness, which is both in a literal and figurative sense - that is, Shar is the goddess of night and the absence of light, but, like, also the goddess of loss, and sorrow, and hopelessness, and secrets, and lies. The Goddess of Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss, basically. Being raised to follow the goddess has plagues Shadowheart with guilt over the secrets she's had to keep, the cruelties she's had to inflict, and the distance she's kept from all people in her life as a result of the church's creed. If you're a nerd who comes into this game knowing who Shar is, you'd probably be immediately suspicious of Shadowheart when you find out her alleigance, because Shar's basically one of the more prominent evil gods whose followers are always fucking things up for everyone.

However, I did not come into this game knowing that, but I did come into it knowing what's it's like to be raised in a religion that teaches you that many of your natural desires for companionship are wrong and to feel guilt and paranoia over how your every action will be judged, for like Shadowheart, I am also a Catholic.

Shadowheart's Want is to become a Dark Justiciar, which is basically the Sharran equivalent of the Spanish Inquisition, and to fully prove her devotion to Shar's will. The way she talks about Shar is so thickly coded with the way children of abusive parents talk about said parents that's it's legitimately frightening to witness at times. Shadowheart doesn't blame Shar for hurting her, she knows it's her fault for disappointing Shar in the first place.

Shadowheart's Need is to leave the fucking Catholic church. Depending on your choices, she can accomplish this with the help of two moon-worshipping lesbians, at which point she dyes her hair a color that would piss off her parents Shar and proceeds to indulge in a somewhat hedonistic rebellion of self actualization that only a lapsed Catholic can fully comprehend. I love her.

Companion 3: Lae'Zel, The World's Most Loyal Toad

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Ok, so, brief tangent: one of my favorite games of all time is Dragon Age Origins, and it is one of my favorite games of all time in part because it has Morrigan, one of the best characters in all of fantasy fiction, fuck you fight me. Morrigan is a divisive character in the DA fandom because she is notoriously hard to please if you're trying to be a good person - it was so prominent a criticism, in fact, that "Morrigan Disapproves" was put on a fucking t-shirt to play on/monetize the controversy.

But, see, the thing about Morrigan is that she's 1. incredibly complex and 2. designed to challenge your worldview, and to be challenged in turn. Morrigan isn't just an evil bitch, she has a genuine philosophy for why she behaves as coldly as she does, which in part stems from her awful upbringing by her cruel, selfish hermit mother who was trying to shelter her from an even crueller world that would see her in chains just for being a witch. Morrigan has been taught that love is a weakness others will exploit, that kindness is folly, and that everyone is out for themselves. And you need to contradict her on that - getting to know her inevitably involves fighting her on this point, and you proving to her that the cruelty she's been taught is wrong. If you are willing to listen, to argue, to truly understand this character, she grows because of you. It makes her character arc so fucking satisfying, when you get to the end of the game and she realizes that she does love you, she does want to be kind, and that even though she now feels more accutely than ever how love has made her weak, she can't be without it. It's so fucking good.

I bring Morrigan up because almost all the companions in Baldur's Gate 3 are on her level, in part because they are designed like her - to challenge you and be challenged in turn. And none of the core six are more like her than Lae'zel.

Which, sadly, includes the fan backlash part. A lot of fans of the game hate Lae'zel - she's too mean, they say, too hostile, to proud of her strange and callous worldview, too critical of our normal and kind outlook, too difficult to relate to.

These people are cowards.

If Shadowheart is Catholic, then Lae'zel is, like, Christian Reformed. A fundie. She's been training at Githyanki Bible Camp for years to be her lichqueen's perfectly loyal soldier, only to run into this minor snag of being kidnapped by Mindflayers, the ancestral enemies of her people, and infected with a tadpole that will turn her into one of them, the Worst Fate that can become a Githyanki. Luckily, she's read all of her people's Chick Tracts, and knows that if she can get to one of the Githyanki creches, they can use their special machine to pray the tadpole out of her brain and save her.

Lae'zel has drunk the metaphorical kool-aid of her people, but only to a point. See, Githyankis are viciously racist, but Lae'zel is REALLY quick to accept you and most of the other companions (not Shadowheart, though, as like a true Fundie, she cannot stand a Catholic) despite them not being Giths like herself. Yeah, she'll preen and posture about the superiority of her kind a bit, but she sides with you within seconds of meeting you, and from that point on she is ride or die until you give her a good reason to think otherwise. Lae'zel can be mean, stubborn, and arrogant, but she is above all else loyal.

Her Want is to be a perfect Githyanki warrior, earning the respect of her queen and serving her endlessly in the Astral Plane. Of course, when you actually get to that creche she's pointing you towards early in the game, this all falls apart on her, because just like Fundamentalist Christianity, Githyanki culture is little more than a sham designed to uphold an evil and exploitative power structure where the rich drain the life and resources of everyone beneath them and declare it the will of the divine. In this case, that "drain the life" part is explicitly literal, as the Githyanki queen literally devours the life force of any gith that gets even a bit close to rivaling her in power. If Lae'zel tries to follow her dream, it will end with her queen eating her soul.

Lae'zel's Need is to not only break out of her culture's indoctrination, but to find a way to make her life worthwhile on her own terms. It's heartbreaking to witness, honestly, because unlike the other core companions, Lae'zel has no idea what a life outside of her Want looks like. What is she without serving her queen? What the hell does she want? If you've been taught God your queen is all that is good, then how the fuck you you figure out what good is when you realize she's actually evil?

And while she goes through this seriously traumatic existential crisis, she finds the energy to be invested in the struggles of you and your companions. When the other characters are going through The Shit in their respective arcs, Lae'zel is always quick to note that she thinks they are strong and deserve more than they're getting - even Shadowheart, that fucking Catholic!

Because the first word you'd ever use to describe Lae'zel, the one that most succinctly captures who she is, is LOYAL. She fucking rocks, I love her.

Companion 4: Wyll, The Unjustly Underrated

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Almost no one talks about Wyll and it fucking sucks, man. I mean, we all know why (it starts with a Ra and ends in a Cism), but still it fucking blows dude. And yes, I include myself in this, anyone who's followed my blog can tell that Wyll's not the companion I fixate on the most.

But listen, I promise you, if the game let me take along four companions instead of three, Wyll... would be competing with Lae'zel for spot #4, and Lae'zel might win out because she's an angry girl, but... fuck I'm losing the plot.

Wyll is great though! He's severely underrated! He's one of the nicest companions you'll get, first of all, but he's not just a nice guy. Everyone's got layers in this, right? Wyll is nice, but he's also a bit arrogant - a glory hound, really. He's the only companion who's given himself a superhero name, and he routinely uses it. Dude wants to be fuckin' Batman so bad, it's wonderful.

He's also the most actively fucked member of the party. Everyone's got abusers in their past, but Wyll's is the only one who's followed him to your camp. Mizora, the devil he sold his soul too, frequently shows up to give him shitty tasks and shittier punishments, and is one of the most hateful fucking characters I have ever encountered in my life. Like, to put this in perspective: if you know me, you know that I have certain... preferences... when it comes to women. So if there was, say, a demon lady character who's also a bit of a dominatrix, and I fucking hated her guts, you'd probably be a bit surprised given, you know, my preferences.

But the way Mizora treats Wyll? The way she talks about him and to him? It's fucking heinous. She's not fun evil, she's evil evil, and she's got to fucking go.

It kind of reframes Wyll's kindness and cockiness as you experience it, because beneath the showy acts of heroism and the bluster, Wyll is a sad little dog in a burning apartment telling himself "this is fine!" over and over again.

Wyll's Want is to be a hero and make the sacrifice of his soul worth something. He has accepted that there is no redemption for himself, that Mizora preying upon his vulnerability in the past is something he can never recover from, that he cannot be free of her chains, and only hopes to use what time he has to do some good, even if it inevitably comes at the cost of his life.

His Need is to break out of Mizora's control, to wrest his fate back into his own hands, and to prove what has always been true: that he IS the hero he's selling himself as. It's a real Rango arc if you think about it.

Companion 5: Gale, The Friend With the Messiest Fucking Love Life You've Ever Heard Of Goddamn

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Gale... kind of breaks the companion formula, a little bit? Like, for the other five core companions, there is a clear-cut situation where they were abused and exploited by an asshole - Shar exploited Shadowheart, Cazador the master vampire exploited Astarion, Mizora exploits Wyll, etc. Gale's fucked up traumatic relationship is a bit... messier, and harder to untangle, because by his own admission, he was not blameless in it.

Gale is a wizard, and like all good wizards in fiction, he's a bit of a mad scientist. He was so good at wizarding, in fact, that the goddess of magic itself, Mystra, reached out to him, and eventually the two had a little romance. Now, fans have gone back and forth interpreting this, with some saying that Mystra was grooming Gale from childhood and thus is as bad as Cazador/Shar/Mizora/et cetera. I feel that's kind of a bad faith reading of the character, one that's actively ignoring the concept of what an ageless immortal goddess is to try and fit it into a human context.

For nerds who know about the setting, Mystra is NOT an evil goddess like Shar. In fact, she's kind of a vitally important goddess to have around, as Magic is such an integral part of the reality of this setting that not having a god of some sort for it results in an fucking extinction event - which the characters in the game know for a fact because at one point in the past, a mortal wizard killed Mystra and made that extinction event happen. Mystra reformed, as gods do, and eventually things got back to more or less normal, but that doesn't do much for the shitload of people and creatures that died during the period of time where magic was dead.

And that's what ends up souring Gale and Mystra's relationship. Gale, being mortal, felt he had to prove he was Mystra's equal, and so set out to find a source of magical power not unlike that used by the wizard in the past who killed Mystra. And when Mystra saw Gale doing that, she freaked the fuck out because she thought she was going to get killed again - because the wizard who slew her in the past ALSO felt he needed to prove he was equal to a goddess.

Neither character takes the breakup well. Gale feels like fucking shit because he fumbled a literal goddess, and also got a piece of super destructive magic lodged in his chest in the process that's slowly killing him. And Mystra is worried that the super powerful piece of magic lodged in Gale's chest could kill her, and also about the cult using a very similar piece of magic (it's a big plot point for the game I won't go into it this is already too long), and so, in an act of cruel godly pragmatism, she sends D&D Gandalf to tell Gale to use his the magic murder ball in his chest to kill the cult, even though it'll destroy him in the process. "Hi sweetie, please kill yourself on my behalf, k thanx!" basically.

It's... it's a mess.

Gale's Want is to prove he is Mystra's equal by mastering the ancient magic he's found, and either win her back or, better yet, become a god himself and dethrone her. As I said, he's got a bit of a mad scientist in him.

Gale's Need is to move on from this relationship, talk things out with his ex, give her her dvds the ancient magic artifacts back, and move on with his life.

I like Gale. He's got funny lines, he loves his cat, he's a goofy nerd, and while his love life is a mess, his heart is mostly in the right place. He needs some nudges to do the right thing, but he's a good guy deep down, and I always love it when fiction shows a relationship that falls apart not because one person in it was "bad," but because the two people were just not compatible. Yeah, Gale fucked up, but you can understand why he fucked up, and he can understand it too if you help him own up to his mistakes and move forward. Also, he loves his cat, he can't be all bad.

Companion 6: Karlach, the Most Beautiful Woman I've Ever Seen

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Karlach is my favorite companion in this game, which is why I saved her for (sort of) last. And, yes, sure, part of it is because of my aforementioned preferences with women...

she's so goddamn pretty

But it's also because of how she plays with those core themes I've mentioned. Karlach was sold into slavery as a teenager, where her devil master ripped out her heart and replaced it with an engine to turn her into a super-strong gladiator. She's been living in literal Hell for years, fighting every day to survive, and like Astarion she actually views being kidnapped by Mindflayers as a godsend since it freed her from her enslavement.

Unlike Astarion, Karlach doesn't have a long life to look forward to. That engine in her chest can't work properly outside of Hell, and it will eventually break, overheat, and melt her from the inside out. Karlach is the only companion who knows she's going to die soon whether or not the tadpole is taken out - no matter how this adventure ends, she will die.

At least, that's what she's told herself. Karlach's Want is to never return to Literal Hell, no matter what, because she's afraid if she does she will be taken as a slave again, and that there is no hope for a good life if she touches foot on that ground again. Following this want means she WILL die - either by the engine, by her enemies in the mortal plane, or by turning into a mind flayer (because while mind flayers can retain their hosts' memories, they are NOT the same being as their host).

And Karlach is convinced she's ok with this! No, really, she's fine! This is fine! She's got a few days left to live, and she's going to enjoy them! She is unfailingly kind and compassionate, always willing to help others, always cheery and taking the best view of her friends and people in need, a ray of fucking sunshine.

And beneath it all she's terrified and sad. When you get towards the end of the game, and Karlach feels how close the Inevitable End is, she reaches a breaking point where that happy facade snaps and it's... it's gut wrenching, man. It breaks your fucking heart, because as much as she's determined not to risk setting foot in Literal Hell ever again, she really doesn't want to die.

...

Karlach's Need is to go back to Literal Hell long enough to get that engine replaced. Her Need is to find hope, TRUE hope, not just a facade of optimism - a true belief that she can face the worst and come out of it ok, that she can survive, that she is not alone in facing the darkest shit this world can throw at her. Her Need is to find the strength to believe that she can live, even if it's hard, even if it's Hell to get there.

And Karlach is worth it. She is worth Hell.

Companions 7 - 10 Speedrun

I don't have as much to say about the four other companions you can get in the game, mainly because I already love these six so much that trying to take time to get to know four other weirdos who I don't get to recruit until halfway through the game just... like, there's a party limit of four characters and one is me, I can only take three of you along at a time, I'm prioritizing the one's who've been with me since all the goblin shit in Act 1, feel me? The rest of you seem real neat but I've got my nakama all set, we're good.

Halsin is the one I know the most of these four because he helped me at the tail end of the goblin stuff and he seems fine. He's a big nice hippie who turns into a bear and is into polygamy and carving wooden ducks. A lot of people thirst for him, but he's not my type - like I get the appeal but this is a case of Not My Favorite Pennywise Hentai But OK as far as I'm concerned. I like his subplot about restoring balance to the cursed forest, though. Felt like teaming up with Smokey the Bear.

Minthara is the companion that used to require you to kill a shitload of innocent people to recruit, but people found weird work-arounds that involved turning her into a sheep and so the developers sighed and released a patch where you could recruit her without mass murder using only slightly cheesey means. She is Genuinely Evil, but in a complicated way that's still fun from a character perspective. She's also a great comically serious character - i.e. someone who's so serious all the time that they end up being incredibly funny on accident just by their muted reactions to all the weirdness around them. From the clip compilations I've watched on youtube, her romance is basically a Lady Macbeth situation, and that's pretty hot. If it weren't for Karlach, I'd... romance Astarion, but if it weren't for Astarion, I'd... romance Shadowheart, but if it weren't for Shadowheart, I'd... romance Lae'zel, but if it weren't for Lae'zel, I might romance Minthara. Or Wyll. One of the two.

Jaheira is a character from one of the previous Baldur's Gate games, neither of which I've played, so I had no preconceptions or attachments to her going in this game. She basically becomes your surrogate mom as the game goes along, and I mean that as a compliment. She's pretty great and fills a nice emotional niche - I didn't use her that much because, again, I've already got six close friends to rotate out, I'm not going to ditch them for long periods of time to hang out with my MOM, but it was nice having her along for the ride a few times.

Minsc is the OTHER returning character from the previous games, and from what I can tell he's basicall Kronk from The Emperor's New Groove but with a funny accent. I like him, he's fun comic relief, and he throws a hamster at people while telling it to eat their eyes. I don't have a lot to say on Minsc, I just think he's neat.

At some point I might do a followup to this gushing about NPCs from the game, because goddamn the supporting cast is great too. Omeluum, Us, the Emperor, fucking Dame Aylin. Dame Aylin is so goddamn fucking cool, I want to read novels about her adventures, she rocks so hard. All glory to the Nightsong!

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shiyorin · 9 months

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Animal instincts

#Just romcom in 40K

#Today's menu: Leman Russ and Lion El'Jonson

#Primarchs x Reader, Reader is Imperial Agent

#Late Christmas gift and early New Year gift

Leman Russ

The endless snows of Fenris stretched as far as the eye could see, blanketing mountains and wilds alike under pristine powder. You found yourself overwhelmed at the awe-inspiring landscape, so different from your world upbringing.

But greatest curiosity lay with one who called these frigid wastes home - Leman Russ, Primarch of the Space Wolves. You observed him now, surrounded by his warriors yet apart, a lone towering figure contemplating the white void.

His austere features seemed carved from the very stone and ice encasing this planet, immovable yet holding untold depth and power beneath granite exterior. Thick fur-lined armor and coarse pelt draped his massive frame, like the predators ruling these inhospitable wastes.

But as Russ turned toward some comment, face transforming with gruff laughter at his pack's roughhousing, you saw not an impervious demigod but something familiar. Great shoulders shook in mirth like immense boulders slipping loose, blue eyes alive with warmth despite frigid surroundings. An involuntary thought slipped through, that in this moment, he resembled not conqueror but some canines, mighty and playful.

Shaking off fanciful musings, you continued observant tasks, keeping distance respectful between yourself and the lords of this domain. But later as briefings commenced, Russ stopped his gigantic form before you, breath curling like frost wolves from a mouth curled in question.

You blinked up into eyes keen yet gentle, all rational thought scattering like snow on gale winds. Impulse surged before discipline could rein it, and you found hands rising of their own accord to Russ' massive brow, carding gloved fingers through coarse hair as one might a trusted hound.

Silence descended, thick as the powdery drifts. Russ' features slackened in blank shock, pale eyes blinking owlishly. "Lass..." he rumbled, uncomprehending.

You started as if slapped, jerking hands back so swiftly your wrist protested. "My lord, I..." Words fled, face aflame to your hairline. What folly had possessed you so?!

Yet to your surprise, Russ laughed, a booming, resonant sound like glaciers calving. "By Fenris's ball, lass, yer got the spirit!"

His tone held no anger, merely bemusement. But when you swallowed apologies, you glimpsed what may have been wistfulness flickering through feral eyes, gone as swift as the thought that spawned it. Had his invisible tail genuinely twitched to wag? Definitely you are crazy or something.

"Aye, lass. Well, if the fur satisfies yer hands, s'pose I'll oblige."

To your shock, he leaned nearer once more, an unmistakable invitation dancing in blue eyes. Hypnotized, you carded soft locks obediently, finding they are softer than you think. Russ sighed, almost seeming to lean into your touch. An absurd image flickered of an immense wolf nuzzling against your hand, tail wagging invisible yet content. Smiling softly, you traced strong jaw and was rewarded with a look of such warmth and longing, all of your rational thought dissolved.

Lion El'Jonson

Your survey of the growing threat in Caliban's wilds brought you regularly to the Lion's tower, poring over maps and missives seeking the root of corruption's spread. This eve found you and him yet at work as dusk deepened, twin flames bending over parchment and discourse.

A lull arose as analysis hit dead ends once more, frustration mounting. You sighed and stretched tired limbs, risking a sidelong glance at your lord. The Lion remained absorbed, strong brows furrowed, stroking his trim beard absently as strategic mind raced.

A strange thought struck then, in this dim shuttered space, with dusk masking Caliban's savage beauty, did he not seem every inch a great cat himself? Powerful yet graceful, thinking moves ahead with predatory cunning, alone yet bound to wilder instincts doubtless few witnessed.

Before rational thought could intervene, curiosity overruled. Stepping softly, your hands found scratching points along Lion's bearded jaw and throat. Beneath your ministries his eyes slid shut, muscles unwinding with a contented sigh. Success! Like any feline such attentions soothed.

Encouraged, your nails lightly raked his scalp, eliciting a startling response, a primal rumbling purr trembled his massive frame. His relaxation vanished in an instant, eyes flying open to stare at your in wild-eyed alarm.

You stumbled back several paces, own eyes round as moons. Had Lion just...purred? Like some overgrown house tabby? Your mind reeled, seeking logical explanations amongst unfathomable strangeness unfolding.

Lion's pupils elongated before your gaze, resembling nought cat-like slits in green eyes gone feral-bright. His confusion melted into predatory stillness, fixing you with an eerie stare that raised all hairs standing on end. What strangeness possessed them?

For long moments you and him remained suspended, breathing halted, shock and unnamed sparks passing between hands dropped limp to sides once more. Then all broke at once, your stammered excuses and the Lion retreating to the shadows of his tower, retreating from… what?

That night, your sleep proved fitful, your mind restless with possibilities. Had you gone too far when crossed a line with Lion that afternoon, awakening forces better left slumbering?

Morning comes, dread coiled cold and heavy in your gut. Open the tower's door with trepidation, you froze at the grisly sight awaiting just beyond threshold. A massive deer carcass lay splayed, crimson pool already attracting swarms of flies.

Your breath caught in horror, had Lion's frustrations boiled over in vengeance? Was this brutal warning of what further torments awaited should your act overstep once more? Shaking, you backed hurriedly inside, thoughts whirling.

Meanwhile across Caliban's wilderness, Lion admired graceful flickers weaving between ancient trees, oblivious to turmoil sown. Inhaling your lingering scent lost to the mists. Pride swelled that his token gained your notice, for what better way to proclaim your worth and pique your interest further?

He would await your next visit, gifting further demonstrations of prowess to stoke your regard. In time, you would see none matched his prowess for providing and protecting what he deemed most worthy.

Extra:

Russ: Pat me, pat me, woof woof!

Lion: If I give a bigger prey, will the agent love me more?

#shiyorin's writer #wh40crack #primarch x reader #reader insert #warhammer 40k x reader #romantic stuff in 40k

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thewritetofreespeech · 7 months

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No One's Gonna Harm You, Darling

Ascended!Astarion x Reader

summary: when Astarion turned you into his spawn, he told you that you needn't fear anything. But what about him? Ao3

The night was getting long and you still hadn’t seen Astarion. You were starting to get anxious about it.

Usually, when you woke up in the morning (night) Astarion was right there beside you. Greeting the day with you with that cheeky smile before you both set off on your chores for the day. Today he was nowhere to be found.

You had shrugged it off, though a little disgruntled at not getting your kiss and sweet ‘good morning my treasure’ first thing like normal, as you were not so conceded that you thought all of Astarion’s world revolved around you.

But after breakfast, and several hours of him not making at least an appearance, you were starting to get concerned.

His world may not revolve around you, but Astarion would never leave or disappear without telling you. On the off times during your courtship that he did have things to do, as building and running an underground empire of darkness could be time consuming, he always told you where he was going or left you a note as to not have you worried. You always told him he didn’t have to, but without those assurances this time you were starting to worry.

“Where is Astarion?” You ask one of the servants you had cornered in the hallway. They too had been suspiciously absent today.

The girl looked fretted. Seeming to debate on if she could run, or use some kind of manner of magic to disappear, but would never disrespect their Master’s consort like that. “He…He is busy, most esteemed one.”

“I figured that, but I asked where he was.” There was a furrow in the girl’s brow. A twitch of her lip. So you tell her proactively, “don’t lie to me,” and she flinched as if her hand had been smack for even thinking of the lie.

“He is in the kennels, beloved consort.”

You arch your brow quite high. The kennels?

Despite having all his new insurmountable power and complete run of the palace now, Astarion still avoided the kennels like the plague. Too many bad memories, you assume. Despite his complete renovation of an old prison into his new home, the walls still held secrets and memories unable to be masked over by a fresh coat of paint.

You leave the servant and head for the kennels. Unlike before there are no barriers to you in the palace. The two of you have no secrets.

The stench of blood and the horrors inflicted here still hang in the air. As if etched into the stone. But more than that there is a new scent of blood. Fresh and haunting. The back of your mouth watered at the smell, but you tamper it down as you follow its trail to the back of the kennels. Sounds of grunting, chains, and wet echoing off the stone to your ears until you are just behind Astarion. A knife in his hand. Stabbing repetitively over and over into some blood mass in front of him that sprayed his alabaster skin, as if you were back in the old days.

The stabbing stopped, and Astarion turned to look at you. His face goes a light when he saw you. Smiling with a jovial, “darling!” As if his face wasn’t freckled with blood. “Has it already gotten so late? I’m sorry my pet. I was just tying up some loose ends and got lost in my work.” He turned to show you what he was working on. And you felt your blood run even colder than it was. “Correcting a wrong.”

Though it’s impossible to tell anymore with how mangled his face was now, you could tell that this was the noble man from the party a few weeks ago. The one who insulted you. The one who felt the need to tell the other guests that someone of clearly such meager station & upbringing should not be the companion of someone they’ve now claimed as their own. The one who left with a gracious departure from their host and a curt regard to you as he left, thinking he was safe. Thinking that nobility and riches would keep him safe like any lord. Think the high walls of his own palace would keep anyone out as he likely slept peacefully in his bed.

He hadn’t met anyone like Astarion before.

“Now, I think we’ve established that your crimes are severe and unyielding, my lord.” The mocking sneer his almost like a serpent’s hiss as he coils around the whimpering man. “I know you’ve said many sorry up until now. Pleaded for forgiveness. Begged to your Gods.” His hand gripped the back of the man’s head by his balding hair. Turning it upward so he look at you with gapping sockets. “But it’s not me you need to apologize to. It’s my consort.” The man whimpered and sniveled as Asation leaned in by his ear and whispered, “apologize.”

He choked on the words and blood as he tried desperately to get the words out to you. See, he didn’t have a tongue anymore. You don’t know where it’s gone, but it wasn’t in his mouth. You were too terrified to ask. Astarion, however, seems to take his gargled words as the apology he was looking for and granted him the mercy that he sought by slicing his throat. What’s left of his blood spilled out over his bloated stomach as his body slumped in his manacles.

“There.” Astarion’s voice brought you back to yourself. The shock of the scene in front of you leaving you paralyzed until his words cut through your mind like the knife in his hand. “That’s that.”

He circled around from behind the corpse and came up to you. You fervently ask Astarion why he did this. Demand to know what possessed him to torture & kill a more or less innocent man. “Why?” He replied back curiously. A look of befuddlement on his handsome, blood-stained face. “He insulted you. Said those awful things in front of our guests. In our home. Did you really think I would let someone like that go to spread more of his disgusting words and bad breath about the city? About my consort.”

He took a step closer to you and you felt a subconscious pull to take a step back. It seemed you were still paralyzed in a way, however, as your legs couldn’t move. Astarion cupped his free hand to your cheek. Giving you a soft look despite the murder all around him. “No one is going to harm you, darling. Not while I’m around. Not even your feelings.”

He leaned in to kiss your forehead. So sweet and gentle that you almost forget about the blood and the murder and the smell of death in the air. He then let you go and walked past you. Some comment about needing a bath to get all this blood off, as it was too vile for consumption, and an offer for you to join him came past your ears. But you barely hear it. With Astarion gone the shock was setting back in again. Alone with what he had done on your behalf, you feel just as guilty as if you had wielded the knife.

Astarion said that no one was going to harm you while he was around. But who was going to protect you from him?

#;ask and ye shall receive (request answers)#ascended astarion #astarion #bg3 astarion #bg3 ascended astarion #baldur's gate #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 scenarios #bg3 imagine #bg3 fanfiction #baldur's gate scenarios #baldur's gate imagine #scenarios #imagine #tav #bg3 tav #spawn tav #tw: gore

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otakween · 1 month

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Digimon World 4 - Final Thoughts

Whelp, that was...something. This game is objectively bad, but I still had a good, brain rotting time. It falls into the "game to zone out on the couch to" category. The lack of much story, characters or dialogue means I got in some quality podcast/music time as well. It's pretty similar to Digimon World 2 in its crappiness, but I found DW4's gameplay more satisfying. I think DW2 has the more appealing art style though, so they even out to the same rank basically. Full thoughts below!

Notes:

So this is loosely based on the Digimon X-Evolution CG film I posted about before. I was disappointed to see that the opening credits are just a hodge podge of scenes from said movie. That's pretty boring and lazy if you ask me. I picked Dorumon to control in honor of the film's protag (and since it would be a more novel experience).

I found any weapon aside from the guns to be a colossal pain to use, so I just used guns and guns alone for the entire game lol. At least I was able to get tech points quickly that way!

This game has the most unbalanced difficulty levels ever. It's either stupid hard or stupid easy. Luckily, the stupid easy moments are far more frequent. Every time I fought a boss I braced myself only to just button mash my way to the end in like a few minutes. Most of them were jokes. On the other end of the spectrum, the beginning of the game was weirdly hard because I would get mobbed by enemies and massacred in like two seconds (this is when I realized I should be using the guns lol). It's hard to have much strategy because most battle moves you can do (spin attack, charged attack, block) suck control-wise. My strat for most of the game was either the ole "shoot and run" or just to get up on a high ground where I was invincible. The latter move kinda felt broken and was part of what made the game stupid easy.

Thank God I emulated this game. Although it's mostly easy, there are definitely moments where it's easy to die. Some dungeons will lock you into the tightest corners and then just spawn like a jillion enemies out of nowhere (the Otamamon and Infermon were the WORST). Some of the harder bosses had some pretty cheap moves too. Save states were the VIP, as usual.

The plot of the game is really basic and the writing is just as wonky as DW2. Basically all you need to know is that there's a virus that's bad and you need to get rid of it. It doesn't get any deeper than that and there are no twists or turns. Ophanimon, Seraphimon, and Leomon are the only characters with significant dialogue (none of the bosses talk) and they really don't have anything interesting to say (I did like Ophanimon and Seraphimon's models tho)

The dungeons were definitely better than DW2 in terms of visuals/layout, but the enemies felt super repetitive. You get maybe 3 types of enemies per dungeon and then you just fight those same 3 again and again and again.

The dungeons are unreasonably long slogs with no way to save in the middle of them. I had save states so I was okay, but sometimes a dungeon would take me over two hours?? Like wtf. I know kids have a lot of free time but some of them aren't even allowed to game for 2 hours straight!

Of course, I played this single player. I actually think it'd be really fun as a multiplayer game? Like, that's probably what it was actually built for. There are actually some moments where you can't go to certain parts of dungeons without a buddy :'(

The bosses were mostly big bads from the series/movies which was fun. Made it awkward when I defeated them so easily though lol

All of the walkthroughs for this game suck lol. The one I used for the majority of the game the guy literally kept writing "I don't remember what happens in this dungeon. Just go through it." LOL thanks for nothing, bud. He said "I don't remember" sooo many times it was comical.

I poked around on the internet looking for info for this game and it seems the general consensus in the fandom is that it's pretty abysmal. Still, there are people like me that got enjoyment out of it regardless.

The little noises Dorumon made when attacked were very cute

I never bothered with digivolution. You don't get digivolution until late in the game and if you digivolve it reverts you to levl 1. Nuts to that!

I also didn't bother with any side quests because they sounded extremely not worth it (some of them don't even have a reward?)

I was pretty under-leveled at the end of the game (barely scraping level 30) but I felt like I had infinite healing basically because I had so much MP. That's another aspect of the game that felt broken.

The ending of this game was SO anti-climactic. I defeated the boss, returned to the hub world expecting a cutscene, and then it went straight to credits. No dialogue, no thank you, nothing. I had to go around and talk to people to get some thank yous but they didn't sound that appreciative really lol. Where are my flowers!? 😭 This took me over a month of tedium!

One part of the game that I did find pretty hard was the Storm Train where you have to get to the end of a train track while hitting the right levers while simultaneously fighting of a ton of enemies. If I had to do that without save states, I probably would have given up lol

I never really regret beating a video game, even if it kinda sucked. It's especially nice to check off another game in a series (even though the World series isn't really connected). I give Digimon World 4 a 5 out of 10.

#digimon world 4 #digimon #video games

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sege-h · 1 year

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Alright this post has been ruminating in my brain for at least 2 months now and I finally have the time/focus to make it.

And it all spawned from seeing Tristamp fans going ‘Old Trigun fans only hate the new one because it changes so much from the manga, as if their beloved ‘98 version didn’t do that too’ so

As someone that’s never read the manga* (*I’ve started reading it but I’m not really far in) that knows that ain’t it and is proof of it, I’m about to go into why I don’t like the latest iteration of Trigun

So like. If you’re a fan and hate perspectives other than ‘Omg I love this show it’s SO good’, probably don’t read this

Creature design

Putting this in first because it’s probably what could be considered my most minor gripe with the show out of everything.

The creature design for the bugs? Excellent! Love it!

But then you get to...the Thomas Look at this, this is a goddamn Creature

They’ve got fun weird designs, and their heads are actually fukken Tiny-located at the ‘beak’ of their masks, and they don’t even look bird-like under there!

So it’s really disappointing when a studio that’s shown they can do great creature design comes up with....this...

Just. A blue emu. With such low color contrast between the beak and the feathers that it could get mistaken for a ‘base texture’ model. Like. C’mon.

But again that’s what could be considered my most minor of complaints so I’ll just move along to my next topics

The Human Typhoon

So. Vash already has a bounty on him at the start of this series- as he usually does. But like...why...?

He doesn’t really do much gunslinging in this series, he kinda just goes around and helps people-- which yes he does in the original series too, and people in towns already know/like him. But the difference is-- the season finale reveals that all the events in Tristamps first season took place before the events at July. So why is Vash already wanted with a huge bounty on his head? The whole ‘oh people keep mistaking Knives for him’ feels pretty flimsy since they don’t really look or act similar- and whole towns seem to know Vash just from him stopping by. He’s kind of just. Some depressed guy that goes around helping people.

Which is another thing. Tristamps Vash really is just Some Depressed Guy.

Yes ‘98 Vash is depressed too, but he hides all this, along with his rage, underneath the mask of a goofy clumsy doofus. It’s part of what makes him so interesting as a character. You watch what he does, you see all the ‘clumsy mistakes’ he makes that end up saving either himself or others that you KNOW are deliberate moves on his part, you see all the moments where you know there’s anger bubbling under the surface that he never lets loose, all the excellent gunmanship that never turns lethal even though it’d be so easy for him to mow down anyone that threatens him. And you have pieces of what’s lying under the mask that you have to start putting together.

You have a man that’s gotten very good at hiding his feelings, and his past and the things that haunt him.

Which is why it was so jarring that at the end of episode one, Tristamp’s Vash gets asked ‘what are you scared of?’ and just immediately answers ‘I have a brother.’ and in the next episode he’s just ready to answer a reporter’s questions about it and about himself.

I was just like...really??? He just immediately spills this to people he met 5 minutes ago???

There’s just so much of Vash’s nuance that’s stripped away completely from his character here- and he’s not the only one but I’ll get into that later.

And he’s just really...timid. Which- there’s nothing wrong with timid characters. But in Vash’s case it’s another case of this show’s ‘nuance-be-gone’ showing.

Vash is a pacifist, refusing to kill people in a world full of people that’d shoot him dead without batting an eye. And as you get a whiff of that rage of his that lies beneath the surface, you wonder why.

Tristamp Vash just really...doesn’t even get comically angry over things- again because he doesn’t even have the emotional mask Vash usually has. And he doesn’t do much gunslinging either, at least not until the final episode of the season.

He’s entirely too trusting for someone that’s been through the things he has. Vash as a character, at least from my POV, is a bit more complex with his trust. He trusts people with the chance to do the right thing. But he doesn’t trust people with himself- again going back to the fact Tristamp Vash just immediately goes ‘I have a brother’. And while he trusts people with the chance to do the right thing, he doesn’t just assume anyone Would take that chance. So Tristamp Vash just going ‘I know Wolfwood is a good person I see it in his eyes :)’ was equally jarring when he’s only known Wolfwood for like 5 minutes, just like with Roberto and Meryl

And I frankly just miss Vash bickering with someone like Wolfwood, instead of whatever’s happening in Tristamp where it feels like Wolfwood keeps trying to start to bicker with Vash only for Vash to be all ‘Wolfwood... <:)’ at him despite having just met him

It was fun, Vash finding a dude who’s so similar to him that he can spot his fake smile from a mile away, yet opposite in some ways and then just bickering with him was fun

Wolfwood has any nuance taken away from him as well-he was a guy that was sent to keep an eye on Vash and to kill him if he got the order to, that spent enough time with Vash that they end up being friends, and he frustrated because that was never supposed to happen.

But Stampede rushes through it’s own story set up so fast that he’s just left being kind of the edgy guy that hangs around and yells at Vash, and they want us to see them as friends because??? I don’t know, because that’s how the story is supposed to go, and we have no time for ‘show don’t tell’.

Vash and Knives

Speaking of lost nuances in relationships. Knives’ attitude towards Vash is a lot less compelling in this show to me.

I can’t speak on anything that goes on in the manga, so again that’s not even my ‘Old Trigun fan hates Stampede because of this’ issue.

To me it just seemed like Stampede Knives saw Vash as less than him. Like something broken that needs to be fixed, or remade into something ‘better’ and on his level.

Which...I don’t know. To me that’s a lot less compelling-- especially as Stampede Knives still thinks plants like him are superior to humans! But still treats his brother, who’s the same being as him, as less. He even seems to treat other plants as less, as just fodder for his plans.

That’s a lot less compelling than a guy that thinks plants, any plants, independent like him and Vash or not, as superior to humans. The contrast there is just a lot more fun to me- of Vash, who doesn’t think he’s superior to anyone, and Knives, his twin brother that thinks they’re superior to humans and that Vash should just join him in destroying them already. Knives didn’t think Vash needed to be fixed or that he was less-- he saw Vash as his equal, but just thought he was lost in a delusional phase where he tries to live alongside humans. And he did think it was just a fleeting phase- that one day Vash would see his own superiority and abandon them after he’s had all his fun. It was just that that day wasn’t coming fast enough for Knives’ liking, so he tried to break Vash and make him ‘realize’ humans aren’t worth his time and that he should just join his brother already.

The Plants

This maybe could’ve gone under ‘creature designs’ but it didn’t quite fit because the plants are both creatures but also environments.

I don’t quite mind the designs of the plants as creatures in Stampede.

But I don’t like what they did with the environment they’re kept in at all.

I miss the giant light bulbs that stuck out of the remnants of old space ships, and how they both looked fragile due to their design but were also way too big to make stealing them be just a simple feat.

How there was no way to go into a town and be unaware of them, but any regular person would still be unaware of just what plants are

The plants in Stampede are just...they’re just the tumor device from Homestuck. Which I know sounds like an unhinged sentence so here’s a visual for what I mean

Corporate wants you to find the difference between these two pictures

Which isn’t a bad design in general but to me it’s a bad design for something that contains plants

Tropes

That’s what everyone in Stampede is. Just walking tropes without any character actually attached to them-- I keep talking about the loss of character and nuance in this show, and that’s all it really boils down to. It’s not just one or two characters that are stripped of it, it’s all of them. They’re walking tropes, and the writers keep acting like they’re characters with connections that they only ever tell us about instead of showing us or actually developing them like.

Wolfwood is just some edgy guy that keeps being angry at Vash, but no wait actually they’re friends and Wolfwood would go into battle with him.

He and Livio are adoptive brothers but we are told this rather than shown-- I’m a sucker for story beats like these so you know something’s wrong when it doesn’t tug on my heartstrings as much as it should. Wolfwood seems more ready to kill Livio- his childhood friend and adoptive brother, than he is Vash who he met a day ago and is supposed to be ready to kill.

Roberto is a drunkard that keeps not even using Meryl’s name and keeps mocking her for being a ‘rookie’. But no wait actually he cares for her deeply, like an adoptive father would even, and also she respects him too! It means so much to her when he calls her by name!

Like don’t even get me started on Roberto. I hated him, and as a character made up entirely for this show, what the writers do with all of them is the most obvious with him.

Like he spends the entire show being drunk, constant one liners of ‘rookie the world is a shithole’ and burping and lines that make me livid like ‘whoop, noob down’ in Fucking 2023

And then comes the moment where he dies. And he leaves Meryl with some parting advice, and a gun. And you realize. Oh. The writers wanted us to see Roberto as just ‘the tired dad or maybe tired uncle’. But they never actually did any character development or character moments that show this, or even develop it in the first place. They’re jumping straight from point A to point Z

All the characters are just building blocks or crumbs of who they’re supposed to be. I’ve seen so much fanart and memes from people that have only watched Stampede that would fit PERFECTLY with their ‘98 counterparts. Because the crumbs for what these characters are IS there, and fandom is incredibly good at building entire characters out of any crumbs a writer gives them but....that usually applies to like side characters and background characters. Meanwhile these are your MAIN CHARACTERS! You’re supposed to have more than just crumbs for characters when they’re your main cast, especially after a season!

I could say some things about how shipping factors into this, but I’d rather not get viciously mauled by shippers, so I won’t

Episode 1 is just bait for old fans

Literally from the very first teaser for it. You get everything I complained Vash lacked earlier, and then some, and it’s just in this one episode.

You get fun western-y music. You get Vash showing his skills, and actually firing his guns. You get him being a doofus, and pulling expressions like this

Which is like...God. GOD I miss Vash pulling funny and exaggerated expressions! Especially since this shows us they CAN push the models like that, and it looks so fun! And then they just. Don’t do it again.

They pull you in with ‘yes this is a different show, but still has some of the Trigun things you love in it!’ and then they don’t do it again for the rest of the season. No ‘who the hell even is this guy’ feats of gunmanship, no fun times, no exaggerated fun expressions, and no Vash yelling and being a doofus...which is the other thing

Voice acting

Everyone’s kind of. Subdued in that department. Like they could do more but they just don’t do it. And so does Vash. You get Johnny Yong Bosch to reprise his very first VA role, and then you don’t even let him go all out or really have any scenes that’d LET him go all out? I think that should be a crime

You have scenes here and there where you get to hear him do his ‘a panicked Vash is running’ noises and those are good but it leaves you wishing we had more scenes where he could be a goof

And then in the season finale he finally FINALLY gets to yell and have some emotion but even that feels just a tad held back

But the voice acting issue could be entirely because Crunchyroll especially loves to live up to the ‘Crunch’ in its name which is a whole other can of worms that’s not related to Trigun alone so. I’m gonna let it slide

Jesus, Sege, is there anything you DO like in Stampede?

I like the worm creature design! And I like Zazie. Zazie is definitely the best thing about Stampede and I like that they kinda set up a third party in the whole humans vs. plants thing by just being the insect creatures that have lived on Gunsmoke long before the ships crashed. The planet was theirs, and now they suddenly have two new species on it, and one of the new species is trying to wage war and destruction on the other, so they’re just trying to figure out which one will be more beneficial to them. I think that’s fun.

I also like the animation! I love what they’ve done with the 3D-- before this series whenever I tried to get into a series with animation that’s like ‘its CG but it’s looking like 2D animation’ I just couldn’t get into it. I could never figure out what it was about the style that kinda put me off. But I finally did it with this series!

I...like the final season 1 episode? Maybe? I have issues with it but honestly I think Vash getting to yell, and fire his gun as part of a big fight scene was such a breath of fresh air after the whole season that I just didn’t care

I like the music but it also feels like I have to just listen to the OST to actually get to hear music other than the Jenora Rock Resistance and Knives’ theme, it doesn’t feel very prominent in the show

Conclusion

Stampede is just. Not a good show. Not ‘not a good Trigun show’, just plain not a good show. If I’d never seen ‘98 Trigun earlier this year, I’d still have all the issues with it that don’t have to do with Trigun related things like the Thomas or the plant environmental designs or the character dynamics. I’d still think the characters are just walking tropes and that the writers want the payoff without any of the buildup or development, I’d still think it’s jarring how quick Vash is to trust people with his past, or trust that Wolfwood is good. I’d still be glad Roberto is dead because I’d still hate him.

It’s not just me theorizing on ‘what ifs’, I think it’s the most evident that I’d have the same emotions by how I reacted to the Livio episode. I haven’t gotten to him in the manga, and he isn’t in the ‘98 anime. I have nothing to compare that episode to, but it still left me feeling like the writers wanted payoff without development.

If I’d never seen Trigun ‘98, I’d have probably dropped this series after the first season, if not the first few episodes.

But having seen Trigun ‘98, I’m left morbidly curious as to what the plans are for the story. It’s like watching someone put together a puzzle by mixing the pieces around, and they’re still making an image form so you’re just curious as to wtf this thing will look like once it’s completed compared to the picture on the box.

So I’m kind of just along for the ride now even though the ride keeps crashing every 5 minutes

#Sege rants

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