#maybe do another study to verify it? but it all seemed pretty clear cut

[girlscience]

one more paper read, very interesting about identifying the age of blue sucker fish, but still no questions *cries*

[thiswasinevitableid]

If you are still taking meet ugly prompts, sternclay 22 nsfw???

Here you go!

22: you’re on a date with this awful, awful person who keeps getting under my skin because my friend and I have been eavesdropping all night and your date says something that makes me snap … I thought it was a first date, not a three year relationship.

Note: I interpreted "first date" loosely. Slight content warning for mentions of blackmail, including blackmailing someone into a relationship.

It’s hard to tell where the sting of gin on his tongue ends and the sharpness of the pines through the window begins. The combination would invigorate him were it not for the conversation playing out at the other end of the short bar.

“...Last time, I’m not leaving.” The bartender, a mountain of a man who Joseph would love to climb, has been dealing with a persistent suitor for the better part of an hour. They’re the only people in the place; ski season is far behind them and summer isn’t here yet.

“C’mon, you’ve got no reason to hang around.”

“Yeah, actually, I do.” The bartender finishes cleaning glasses, turns to put them up.

“Don’t you fucking turn your back on me! I’m not through with you, oughta drag you outta here by your hair you cheap, dull-”

The next word is an unkind name for men who, like Joseph, prefer men in their beds. The bartender doesn’t respond, though his hands tighten around the glasses. Damn it, the world did not go for a second war just for him to let everyday evil slide by.

“That’s enough.” Joseph stands, moving to where the other patron wobbles on his stool, “him being uninterested doesn’t give you the right to abuse him.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, pretty boy.”

“I know that if you don’t leave, I’ll escort you out.”

The man throws up his hands, spits at Joseph’s feet before stumbling and stomping for the door, “Three years, Barclay, you’re throwing away three years in one night, and you’re gonna regret it. I’ll make sure you do!”

“Don’t think you will.” Barclay mumbles as the door slams. He’s twisting his dishrag to the point it’s ripping.

“Three years? Good lord, I thought he was just a run-of-the-mill drunk.”

“Nope. If you can call him tracking me down every few months a relationship.”

“I’m sorry.” Joseph pulls out his handkerchief, kneeling to clean up the spit, “still, I apologize for getting in the middle of a, um, lovers quarrel.”

“Please don’t, I’m glad you stepped in. Don’t know what I woulda done if you hadn’t.” His brown eyes study Joseph more closely, “have I seen you here before?”

“Through there.” He indicates the pass-through to the kitchen, “I come here as often as I can since the food can’t be beat.”

“Thanks.” Barclay smiles, starts wiping the counter, “yeah, Dani usually tends bar after the kitchen closes but her wife is down with the flu. Only seemed fair to let her take time to look after her.”

A big heart to go with a big frame? Joseph’s in big trouble.

“You, uh, you up here for the lakes or…” He’s now directly across from Joseph, sliding a fresh gin and tonic in front of him.

“I’m a private detective, a one man operation as of 1949; Kepler’s the optimal spot for me, since it’s between the mountain towns and the eastern edge of the city. That’s a lot of people who might need help. Not to mention lots of the residents closer to the lakes are wealthy, the kind where they’re always looking for someone to trail a straying spouse or track down the pearls their no-good layabout son sold for dope.” He lets a little bit of scorn enter his voice in hopes of letting Barclay know he doesn’t always agree with his clients, but that a man has to make a living.

Barclay rolls his shoulders, then leans forward, “any fun cases so far?”

Joseph pulls off his jacket as he thinks; if Barclay’s really interested, they might be here awhile.

---------------------------------------------------

He’s an early riser, so the banging on the door to his house (and office) interrupts his breakfast and not his rest. Joseph opens it and then fights to keep it that way.

“Detective Hayes. This is a surprise.” He smiles.

“I’m not here to catch up, Stern. I’m here so you can answer one, simple question: where were you between eleven-thirty and midnight last night?”

“In the dining room at Amnesty Lodge, talking with the bartender. If you need to verify that, just go to the Lodge and ask for Barclay.”

Hayes glowers in a way he recognizes as, “this won’t be an easy case like I assumed” and turns without a word. Two officers follow him. The third, Dewey, hesitates. He’d always been a pal. Joseph shoots him a confused look.

“Guy got shot in the woods near the Lodge last night. His only known contact in town was the bartender, and everyone else we questioned said the two had been arguing for a few days. Hayes thought the cook was a shoo-in to book but, well, his alibi aligns with what you said. Plus, some ranger Owens talked to said he saw Barclay talking to someone in the dining room at the time of the murder. Guess he was walking by the window on his way to-”

“Dewey! Get the hell over here!”

As his informant scurries up the hill to join the others, Joseph steps back inside to finish his toast. He only gets through one piece before the phone rings, summoning him to the managers office at Amnesty Lodge.

Madeline “Mama” Cobb sits behind her desk, whittling with the kind of force that suggests she’s doing this in place of putting her knife to another use.

“Barclay tells me you’re a detective.”

“That’s right, Miss. Cobb.”

“Great. I’m hirin’ you to find out who the hell killed his useless ex and is tryin to frame him for it.”

He sits down, intrigued, “I thought the police were handling the investigation.”

“I ain’t inclined to trust ‘em. Barclay can’t think of someone who’d set him up, and the police don’t think he was. Yet. But I happen to know there were scraps of a shirt Barclay owns on the trees nearby and that the fella who died had this on him.”

She holds a crumpled paper out. He unfolds it, reads, “Come to the old mill at a quarter until midnight. B.” He looks up, “meant to stand for Barclay, one would assume?”

“Yep. Whoever wrote that did a decent job forgin it.”

“How can you be sure it’s fake?”

“Because I got plenty of documents where Barclay describes a time. He just uses numbers, not words like ‘quarter until.”

“Did you suspect a set-up before you lifted this from the body so the cops wouldn’t find it?” Joseph tucks the note into his inside pocket.

“Course I did. You’re new in town, but there ain’t a person here who’d say Barclay is anythin but gentle. He ain’t about to shoot someone in cold blood, even that fucker.” She sighs, takes off her hat and runs a hand through greying hair, “that boy is as good as a brother to me. I know he’s been through some rough shit. He don’t deserve to get caught up in some goddamn murder scheme. So name your price, Mr. Stern; so long as it keeps him outta trouble, I’ll pay it.”

---------------------------------------------

He’s elbow-deep in Barclay’s dresser when the cook returns from his shift; he gave Joseph permission to search his room for signs of whoever took his shirt, but still, the other man doesn’t seem pleased with his presence.

“I’m sorry, but I have to be thorough. I’ll be out of here as soon as I can.”

“S’fine.” Barclay slumps down on the bed. After a moment he murmurs, “I know Mama hired you, but is there anyway I can convince you to quit? She, the Lodge doesn’t have much cash to spare this time of year. I don’t want anyone going without on my account and, and maybe this will all blow over if I just lie low, y’know?”

“It might. But until I think that’s the outcome, I’m inclined to agree with Miss. Cobb that we should work to keep you clear of this. And” he watches Barclay stand, moving to the window so he won’t have to see Joseph rifling through his life, “I promise that if it comes down to getting paid or bankrupting the Lodge, I’ll stop taking my fee. This is a good place and, um, it clearly means a lot to you. That makes it worth some belt-tightening on my end.”

“Thanks.” Barclay stares into the woods, then looks over his shoulder, “Joseph, I-”

It’s only because the mirror is above the dresser that he sees the black barrel peek from the trees. With no time to yell, he dives forward, pulling Barclay to the floor as the first bullet makes shards of the window.

“What the fuck?!” Barclay covers his head as another shot flies over them

“I think we just confirmed Miss. Cobb’s theory!” He pops up, fires once, and drops back down. Whoever’s in the trees isn’t expecting someone armed, so in place of another bullet they get breaking branches.

Joseph gives chase, leaping out the window and sprinting into the trees. Were they in downtown L.A, hell, even if he was still in Chicago, he’d have a better chance of staying on his target. But there’s no paths, no short-cuts, and every tree looks the same at this speed, cloaking the shape in the distance. Worst of all, he discovers that instead of dead-ending at a brick wall, he dead ends at a rockface.

Oh, and his hand is bleeding. He must have cut himself jumping out the window.

It looks like his investigation just took on a bodyguard element, and his wish to spend more time with Barclay could end with them both looking like swiss cheese.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

“You could talk to Duck.” Barclay finishes bandaging the slash on the back of Joseph’s left hand, “he works in the state park near here and knows a ton about the layout of the woods. There, not too tight?” He sits back on his heels as Joseph tests the tightness of the bandage.

“It’s great, big guy. Um, I’m sorry, I don’t know where that came from.”

“I don’t mind it” he winks, “pretty boy.”

His visit with Duck the next day, while informative, doesn’t give him much insight into how their assailant disappeared, especially when Duck points out that the rock face he ran across is over a mile long and hard to climb without equipment or a death wish. At least the ranger outfits him with a map with written-in details; most are about trails that are likely to be muddy (and thus hold prints) or spots where a person might be able to hide. And some hike recommendations, just because.

He tries not to think about taking Barclay on the one to a secluded lake and fucking him under the stars.

His schedule alternates between sitting in his office taking and making calls, shadowing Barclay when he’s out on errands or otherwise vulnerable (he’s spent more than a few nights on the floor of his room, that velvety baritone talking to him until they both fall asleep), and scouring the woods for clues.

A jay heckles a squirrel, which surrenders it’s pinecone and scrambles along the rocks. He’s wishing he could be so nimble when it climbs up and then...disappears. Following it, he discovers what he dismissed as endless rock is an optical illusion; the rocks above and behind align with the ones in front and below to make it seem as if it’s a flat face. But when he climbs over the bottom rock, he finds a narrow slot canyon. One big enough for a human.

Fifteen minutes of granite scratching his back later, he’s at the other side of the rocks. Smoke curls up his nose, and he trails the scent to a cabin which, according to Duck, is on a strange pocket of private property, just up a frontage road. Stranger still is the sign out front.

I.C All

Tarot, Palm Reading, and Other Psychic Services.

He knocks as wind chimes sing lazily around him.

“Come in!”

The first room is divided by a curtain, the half he’s in a rather eclectic waiting room. The dining room and kitchen are probably on the other side of the pink and yellow cloth.

Waiting for him in the next room is a man with a distinctly beatnik air about him, from his red glasses down to his brightly colored shawl and shoulder length hair. Laid out before him is a tarot deck, crystal ball, and several black candles. But that’s not what concerns Joseph.

“Before I sit down, can you ask your friend hiding in the bureau to come out?”

“Fuck” the beaura hisses, “uh, I mean, uh, there ain’t, uh, fuck-”

“It’s alright dearest, I suspect we may all benefit from this.” He gestures for Joseph to sit, “Apologies, but my hope was you were either a client I could turn away or one in search of a brief reading that I could perform before returning to more...pleasurable activities.” He grins as none other than Duck Newton steps from the creaky wooden bureau, looking like he’s been wrestling a very amorous tiger.

“Afternoon, Joe.” Duck sits on the nearby couch, “didn’t take you for the fortune tellin’ type.”

“I’m more interested in whether Mr…”

“Cold, but my friends call me Indrid.”

“Whether Indrid has noticed anyone coming and going on his property without permission?”

“I can’t say that I have, though it’s hard to do so; the walkway is guarded by Beacon, our dog, and everything but the walk up to the cabin is fenced off or, well, a massive wall of rock.”

“...Come with me.”

Soon, Duck is studying the slot canyon while Indrid worries his lower lip.

“I had no idea this was here.”

“No one did. It ain’t on any of the maps, and I never heard of anyone findin it on accident.” Duck pulls back, popping his hat on as he turns to Joseph, “this got somethin to do with Barclay?”

“I think whoever shot at us used this to get away. For all we know, the person who killed Mr. Douglas did the same.”

“To think, I encouraged Barclay to come here even more often once he told me his predicament; I thought no one could approach us without me seeing them coming. No, no this will not do at all” he shakes his head, “he needs to go see her.”

“You know he won’t, sugar.”

“He must. It’s the safest place for him. And the last anyone will look.”

Joseph looks between them, but before he can ask Indrid simply says, “You should ask Barclay about the Greenbank House. That story isn’t ours to tell.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------

“Home sweet home.” Barclay grumbles as he and Joseph step out of the car and into the shadow of a mansion in the most exclusive neighborhood in Lakeshore. It took all of his friends telling him he should go--and Joseph assuring him it’s location meant it wouldn’t look like he was trying to run away from the scene of the murder--for the cook to agree to a stay at his family home.

“What are you afraid of?” Joseph keeps his tone gentle as they climb the front steps. His friend had simply said he had unhappy memories of the house and would rather live in a mausoleum then stay there.

“It’s more dread. You’ll see when we get inside.” He knocks on the front door. It’s opened by the least congruous face imaginable; a man with greying hair and a groundskeepers clothes. When he sees Barclay, a smile bursts across his face.

“Barclay! How are you kiddo?”

“I’m...I’m okay. It’s good to see you Thacker.” He offers a genuine smile as he opens his arms and gathers the older man into a hug. When they separate, Joseph offers his hand and introduces himself. Having an extra guest delights Thacker, and he ushers them in with a promise that he’ll have rooms ready to go in a jiff.

“How’s Maddie doin’?”

“She’s good, and she’ll still slug your arm for that nickname.”

“Good old Maddie.” Thackers cheer falters, “do you wanna go see your ma? If I didn’t know you were comin, gonna guess she didn’t neither.”

“Yeah. Yeah I should go see her. Joseph, you don’t, uh, you don’t need to come with me if you don’t want to.”

“It’s only polite to meet my hostess.”

Barclay leads him up a flight of stairs, then down a hallway where dust substitutes for walllpaper. Waiting for them in a red and orange toned bedroom is a woman with greying, black hair and a face not unlike Barclay’s.

“Dear heart” she rises from her armchair, drawing her son to her, “you came back.”

“Just to visit, Ma. Uh, this, this is Joseph. He’s a friend of mine. He’ll be staying here too.”

She studies him with a critical eye; Joseph thought Hayes had a judgemental gaze, but she could beat him any day.

“Hmm. The more the merrier, as she always said. How long will you stay?”

“A few weeks.”

She nods, regards the photo of another woman above the mantelpiece as if seeking council, “You’re not here for pleasure.”

“No.” Barclay rubs his arm, “I...I got into some trouble. Andrew Douglas was shot the night I broke things off with him. The cops are leaving me alone for now but someone else wants me dead.”

The woman’s face suggests she both recognizes and despises that name, “We will keep you safe.”

With that, she sits once more and picks up her book. Barclay hesitates, then bends to kiss her forehead before pulling Joseph from the room.

--------------------------------------------------

“How long ago did your mother die?” Joseph kicks his legs up onto the ottoman. Barclay alluded to her passing previously, but never gave details.

“When I was eighteen. Car accident. She went off the Kepler bridge. They, uh, they never found her, and just found part of the wreck.”

He intends to leave it there; they’re on the back porch overlooking the garden (“Thackers pride and joy”), early summer dusk on their skin and their arms occasionally brushing from the edges of their chairs. No need to kill the mood further. He just wanted some kind of context for the house and the widow within it.

“Ma never recovered. She loved mom so much that losing her was like losing a lung; she can get through her days, even enjoy them, but it will always be hard. She tried to keep mom around however she could; the whole goddamn house is the same as it was the day she died, even my room. She wanted me to stay too, but Mama offered me the job and I just...I couldn’t live in a haunted house anymore.”

Joseph tips his hand to the right, extending his fingers into the space between them. Barclay takes it and holds tight.

“I’m so sorry, Barclay. You had every right to leave, to make your own life.”

“I know.” He runs his thumb across Joseph’s knuckles, “okay, pretty boy, my turn for a tough question; why’d you really leave the police force.”

It’s not that tough a question, not when he knows the man he’s confiding in won’t go running to Hayes, “I joined the force because I wanted to solve mysteries and help people. But it turned out there was a lot less seeking justice and a lot more chasing off drunks who just needed a place to sleep off benches and harassing certain neighborhoods. Then I worked out that the chief was taking bribes from all kinds of places and was naive enough to think someone might listen to me and help me when I told them. Instead they threw me off the force. In hindsight, it could have been worse; they could have killed me and covered it up.”

“Jesus.” Barclay polishes off his drink, contemplates the ice, “glad they didn’t. Both because, y’know, world is better with you alive, but, uh, also because if they had we’d never have met.”

Joseph meets his eyes, smiling in a way that makes the other man blush, “that would’ve been a damn shame.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is turning into one of the stranger cases he’s worked, in good ways and bad. The good is that his work days, when he’s not on the phone or digging through his notes, are spent with Barclay. His friend insists on cooking, has even brought him lunch at his desk, and usually the two of them have dinner with Thacker in the garden. They read or play chess in the study, take walks through the labyrinthine grounds, and even swim in the open air pool. Barclay in his swim trunks is a fine sight indeed. Joseph wonders if he ever brought boyfriends here, ever kissed them in the blue water or let them have their way with him in some hidden patch of lawn.

But it’s not all roses and revelry. The more he roots around in Andrew Douglas’s past, and in Barclay’s, the more questions he has. Why did Andrew come and go? What happened to large portions of Raquel and Sylvia (Barclay’s parents) fortune? And who wants to kill someone with no criminal record, no known enemies, and no heirs? If it’s the same person who murdered Andrew, killing Barclay would remove their fall-guy, so that makes no sense as a move.

His best lead comes when he learns Barclay’s family and Andrew Douglas lived in San Francisco at the same time. A friend in the city agrees to do some sniffing around there for any information that might point towards their killer. Two days later, he calls back and says he’s sending Joseph a “fucking brick” of evidence in the mail.

It’s been several days and he’s still waiting. He dozed off in his room after dinner, intending to cat nap, but it seems he’s overshot; it’s after ten. At least the mail must have come by now.

“Barclay? Did anything come--you have five goddamn seconds to explain yourself.”

His friend stammers from his seat on the bed, surrounded by papers, photo’s, newsprint, and a manila envelope with Joseph’s name on it.

“I, uh, I, it isn’t-”

“This is all evidence collected for the purpose of protecting you, so if you have something you’re afraid of me finding you’d better start talking now.” He snaps, looming over the other man from the edge of the bed.

Wordlessly, Barclay hands him a piece of newspaper. It details a kidnapping, one that ends--happily--with the victim being returned to their family. Four names are mentioned, but none of the perpetrators are the man in front of him.

“I was sixteen. A stupid kid. I had this perfect life and I got a little stir crazy, a little bored, and fell in with some other rich kids who felt the same. It started out harmless. Then James, the guy in charge, decided we should dream bigger. I was so, so fucking in love with him, I didn’t try to stop him. Not right away, anyway. I...I was their look-out for that kidnapping. But I couldn’t let them keep it up.”

“You struck a deal.”

Barclay nods, “Best part is, I managed to do it without either of my parents getting wise. We moved here soon after. I thought I could put it behind me.”

Joseph takes a closer look at the paper. The byline for the article is one A. Douglas.

“He blackmailed you.”

“Not at first. He, he” Barclay takes a shaky breath, “he went to mom first. Asked her how much she’d pay to keep my name out of the papers. James had told him about me and he was going to spread the story. That’s why she was on that fucking bridge in the middle of a fucking storm; she was meeting him.”

“Oh, Barclay.” Evidence crumples under his knees as he sits to comfort his friend.

“Then he came to me; now not only was I paying to keep the story quiet, I was paying to keep him from telling Ma why Mom died.”

“She died because of a blackmailer, wet cement, and a weak guard rail. Not because of you.”

Barclay looks at him, eyes coffee cups of sorrow, and simply shakes his head. Then he crumples forward and Joseph catches him, holds him tight while he finishes his story through his tears.

He paid off Andrew for three years. Ned Chicane, owner of the Kepler Museum of Curiosities, helped him with the family accounts so Raquel wouldn’t notice anything suspicious. Whenever Andrew came around, he demanded Barclay act as his “boyfriend” for the duration of the visit.

“Everyone must think I have terrible taste in men.”

Once they establish that, as far as Barclay is aware, only Ned knows about the blackmail, Joseph cups his face and says, as firmly as gentleness allows, “From now on, I need you to be truthful with me. You said you didn’t want me putting the pieces together because you were ashamed, but all I want is to help you. I can’t do that if there are big things you’re hiding from me. Understand?”

Barclay nods, and apologizes the entire time they’re gathering the strewn pieces back into the envelope.

“Barclay?” Joseph cuts him off and eases him down until he’s on his back, “I forgive you. Now please go to sleep before you pass out from stress.”

The cook smiles at him, eyes already fluttering closed, “You’re the boss, Joseph.”

He ignores all the urges that kickstarts in him and leaves his friend to sleep in peace.

-------------------------------------------------------

“Y’know, kind of wish we’d known each other back then.” Barclay looks up from where he’s helping Joseph sort the new evidence on the floor, “when I was in San Francisco, I mean.”

“It would have taken more than just a change of scene for me; my family does alright, but I’d have been way outside your circles.”

“So? Maybe then I coulda had a boyfriend who was ‘disreputable’ for bullshit reasons instead of real ones.”

“I’ve never once been disreputable.” He looks up from the photos in his hand, “and is that your way of telling me something, big guy.”

“Yes. I, uh, you can tell me to knock it off, but I, uh, I think you’re swell. It’s okay if you don’t feel that way but you said I should be…” he trails off as Joseph leans into his space,”honest.”

He kisses him once, so brief it barely counts but the larger man whimpers and tries to grab him before he pulls away.

“If we’re going to do this, I need you to promise me that you’ll tell me to hit the brakes if you need to; it won’t change my dedication to the case.”

“I promise.” There’s no dishonesty in his face, just boundless hope and affection.

“In that case, big guy” he lunges forward, pinning him to the rug, “you’re all mine.”

An unexpectedly high whine leaves his lover.

“You like when I’m rough?”

“Uh, uh huh, so much, people always want me to be and I don’t want to, wanna be, wanna beAHHHhhnnn” he arches his back as Joseph bites the patch of skin just below his beard.

“You’re so gentle, big guy, I thought you’d go straight to making love but” another bite, another gasp, “I think I’d better fuck you instead.”

“Please.” Barclays hands glide up to cup Joseph’s face and guide him down into another kiss.

Joseph rolls his hips forward and his sleeves up as speaks, “Now that you mention it, I can see how things would’ve gone if we met earlier. I was an obedient son but not beyond sneaking someone into my room when my parents were away” he undoes Barclay’s shirt, keeps grinding against him and licking his lips as he feels him getting hard, “or maybe we met down here, and you’d sneak me into the backyard.”

“Fuck, yes.” Barclays chest heaves as Joseph cards his fingers up through the dark hair to tease his nipples, “god, if how I, fuck, feel now is a clue, I’d have been so fucking mad for you.” He makes a charming groan as Joseph tongues his nippls and then nibbles his way up to his ear.

“It’s funny” Joseph kisses his cheek, “I knew so many guys like you on the force. Not you now, used to hard work and worry, but you then; spoiled and softer than a boiled egg.” He allows himself a moment of savoring their cocks teasing each other through their pants before continuing, “always wanted to discipline them, because it was clear no one ever did.”

“Please show me how.”

“Why?” He grins down at him, toying with his left nipple until it’s bright red.

“Because I wanna be good for you, Joseph. Wanna be every fantasy you ever had.”

“...Lord god almighty how am I supposed to say no to that?” Joseph undoes his suspenders, laughing at Barclay’s triumphant smile, “you’re a dream, big guy.”

He crawls so he’s straddling Barclays face, cock dripping pre-cum onto his lips. Barclays tongue keeps peeking out from between them, but doesn’t go further without permission.

“Since this is disciplinary, you don’t get a say in how it goes. You’ll take my cock as long and as deep as I want it, because I’m superior to you and you’re here to do what I say”

“Fuckyeah” Barclay paws Joseph’s thighs, opens his mouth so he can guide the head in.

“That, ohyes, that being said, if it’s really too much, tap my thigh twice.”

Barclay nods to show he understands, but is already pre-occupied sucking his cock like he’s starving for it.

“A good start, big guy, but if I just wanted my cock wet I’d have gone swimming.” He cups the back of Barclays head in both hands, “I want something to fuck, and your face is it.”

The man beneath him moans, fucks the air uselessly as Joseph pushes further in. He finds the resistance of his throat with a half-inch to go, and decides that’s good enough. He pulls halfway out, pushes back in, repeats the process a few times before finding his rhythm. Weeks of wanting mean it’s hurried and greedy, but the resulting moans suggest Barclay approves.

“You look so good like this, Barclay. God, if you’d been some fresh-faced officer, one look of those doe-eyes is all it, shit, would’ve taken for me to make this the only discipline you ever got. Any time I needed to put you in your place or just, fuck, just needed to let off some steam, I’d do this, get my, my cock in your mouth so often you’d run out of spit and be thankful for my cum in, in it’s place.”

Barclay is groping him again, eyes bright and lips managing some upward curve as his cock forces them apart.

“Then again” he tenderly massages Barclay’s scalp, “there’s no reason I can’t do that in this universe. Oh, ohshit, Barclay-” his words desert him as he cums, the other man swallowing eagerly and sucking him clean before he pulls out.

Joseph glances over his shoulder, “Can I take care of that for you?”

“Fuck, please?”

He rolls off of the cook, stays on his side and slips one arm under his shoulders. Then he sets his palm on the monstrous bulge in Barclay’s jeans and sets to work.

“I, I should unzip-”

“No” he kisses him, “we’re surrounded by evidence that I can’t have you cumming on. Don’t worry, I’ll clean up the mess you make cumming in your pants like a teenager.”

“Promise?” It’s an odd thing to say, but Joseph thinks he understands.

“I promise.” He quickens his pace, Barclay’s grunts growing louder when he does, “I’ll take care of you, big guy. I’ll look after you. You don’t have to lift a finger when I’m around.”

“Joseph.” Is all the reply he gets, Barclay already turning as cum spreads across his fly and clinging to the detective. His breath is hot, stays shaky even as his cock stops pulsing.

“Barclay? Baby, are you alright?”

“So fucking good, babe. I, I uh” he holds him tighter, “this is the first thing to make sense to me in years. Loving you, having you in my life, I get how we fit together so easily. Everything else, the murder, Ma, this person lurking around the last place that feels like home waiting to hurt me or hurt Mama or someone there, all of it, it’s so goddamn tangled I’m worried it’ll never get straight.”

Joseph rests their cheeks together, “We’ll figure it out, big guy. I promise.”

[distractedhistotech]

Before MSA + 1: Lessons

Vivi had been learning about various religions since she was a kid.  It came with having a theology professor for a father.  She didn’t really bother to sit in on lessons much anymore, but she was curious about Arthur Kingsman and wanted to see how he’d react to the lessons.

His reactions were…honestly a bit concerning.

“I’m confused. Isn’t Christianity the one true religion?” asked Arthur.

Vivi tried very hard not to stare.  Was-was he serious?

“Do you mean Catholicism, Baptism, Methodist, Protestant, or Lutheran?” countered Hiro.

Arthur blinked. “Uh, are those all different names for Christianity?”

“They are all different types of Christianity,” explained Hiro.  “They all have different ideas as to how the scriptures are to be interpreted and how to practice their faith.  No proof exists as to which is the ‘correct’ version.”

Arthur blinked. “The oldest?”

“That would be Roman Catholicism for simplicity’s sake.”  Yeah, it was probably too soon to talk about The Gathering.  “You don’t practice Catholicism.  Your community did not practice Catholicism.”  Hiro crossed his arms.  “In fact, I’d say your elders were trying to come up with a new form of Christianity based on whatever occurred to them.”

Oh crap.  Arthur was raised by a cult, wasn’t he?

“God told The Prophet that humanity was corrupting his followers so we had to isolate the true believers to keep them pure,” explained Arthur.

Yeah, definitely a cult.

“Wouldn’t God rather have his prophet spread his word to the masses and save those who were simply misled?” countered Hiro.  “That is the standard pattern in the Bible, often with the prophets suffering to fulfill their goal.  Yet, there are also signs of divine favor being placed upon them.  A sort of combined blessing and test to see if they were worthy.  Was your prophet ever visibly tested?  Did he ever show any signs of powers that could not be explained logically or scientifically?”

Arthur opened his mouth, paused, and went still.  “He, uh, he got arrested a couple of times for…stuff?”

“It couldn’t have been his religion,” reasoned Hiro.  “We have a separation of church and state, and the Constitution allows for religious freedom.  You could say that you believed a flying spaghetti monster created the universe and that pirates are his chosen prophets; it would be completely legal.”

Arthur made a face. “Who would believe that?”

“The Church of the Flying Spaghetti is just a bunch of people who make fun of people who think if schools are going to teach people about evolution, they should teach about intelligent design too,” Vivi provided helpfully.

Arthur blinked. “I have no idea what you just said.”

“The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a fake religion that acknowledges that it is fake,” explained Hiro.  “Evolution is the very long process of one species becoming another over generations of random, favorable mutations adding up.  It takes thousands of years so no one has actually witnessed it happening, and scientists rely on the fossil record to support the theory and determine what species evolved from previously.  Intelligent design is the theory that God or a similar entity created the various species on the planet with a plan in mind for each one.”  Hiro paused.  “Out of curiosity if you had to choose between evolution and intelligent design, which would you believe in?”

“Intelligent design,” said Arthur.

Oh, this poor boy.

“Do you know how dog breeds work?” asked Hiro.

Arthur blinked in surprise at the sudden change in topic.  “Uh, they only breed dogs with the traits they want?”

Hiro nodded. “And eventually the traits make them a distinct breed, a sort of artificial evolution.  Now, what if a higher power, one that could live for millenia, did that with the species on Earth to make us along with all the animals we are familiar with?”

And now Arthur looked like his mind had been blown.  “Is that what happened?”

Hiro shrugged. “I have no idea.  These are all theories that cannot be proven unless someone figures out time travel.”

“…I’m so confused,” Arthur finally said.

Hiro nodded. “Religion is confusing.  We wouldn’t have so many wars over it if it was clear cut.  It’s really too bad.”

“Hey, uh, maybe we should end for today,” suggested Vivi.  “It kind of looks like Arthur’s brain is about to explode.”

Hiro studied Arthur and decided Vivi was right.  “All right. I do believe that is enough for the first day.”  He pushed a book over to Arthur.  “Your homework is to read the chapter detailing the different ways Christianity is practiced around the world.  If you feel up to it, perhaps read the chapters on Judaism and Islam.”  Hiro paused.  “And if it is possible, try to find out why your prophet was arrested. It’s always a good idea to verify another person’s claims if possible.”

Vivi nodded. “Yeah, you’d be surprised what some people will lie about.”

Arthur looked like he wanted to argue about something but instead picked up the book.  “Yes sir.”

Hiro nodded and checked his watch.  “Now, your uncle should be here momentarily, and I have papers that I need to grade. Would you be all right left alone with Vivi and Ben?”

Arthur gave Hiro a shocked look.  “But she’s a girl!”

“Hey!”  What the heck was that supposed to mean?!

“Please explain to Vivi and me why that is a problem,” Hiro patiently requested.

“It’s improper for a boy and girl to be left alone unless they’re close relatives,” answered Arthur.

Oh, ugh, that was another cult thing, wasn’t it?

“You won’t be alone. Ben will be here to keep an eye on you,” said Hiro.

Said dog was sleeping between Vivi and Arthur and showed no signs that he’d paid any attention to the lesson.

“Besides, most people honestly don’t care if boys and girls spend time together,” continued Hiro. “Why I see it all the time, and it never causes any problems.”

Arthur looked between Hiro and Vivi.  “Um…”

“If it would make you more comfortable, Vivi can find something else to do,” said Hiro. “However, I think it would do you some good to interact with children closer to your own age.  You will be starting school within a few months after all.”

Arthur winced. “Y-Yes sir.”

Hiro smiled, because while it was small, it was still a step in the right direction. “Good.  Come fetch me if your uncle wants to have a word, but otherwise I wish you a pleasant rest of the day.”

And then Hiro left and Vivi was alone with Arthur.  That had been what she wanted so she could talk to Arthur, but well…she wasn’t sure she should.  The poor boy kind of reminded her of the abused puppies shown in ASCPA commercials, like, like…

Like no one had ever loved or cared for him and he didn’t know how to react when someone did.

“Wanna pet Ben?” asked Vivi.

Arthur blinked. “Huh?”

Vivi started petting Ben.  His tail wagged.  “He likes to be pet, and it makes you feel better.  Try it.”

Arthur hesitantly placed a hand between Ben’s ears and started scratching.  Ben moved his head and licked Arthur’s other hand, causing him to jump a little.  When Ben failed to do anything else Arthur returned to giving the happy dog scratches.

“It’s nice, right?” asked Vivi.

Arthur nodded. It was oddly relaxing.  After a little while, Ben lifted his head and looked towards the door.  A moment later there was a knock, and Lance opened the door.  He studied them for a moment.  “You ready to go?”

Arthur quickly grabbed the books and stood.  “Yes sir!” He quickly walked over to the door.

“Bye Arthur! See you soon!” called Vivi.

Arthur winced but stayed silent as he and Lance went to Lance’s truck.  He glanced as Lance started it up and waited for Lance to say something about what he’d walked in on.

“So, you like dogs?” asked Lance.

“I, uh, maybe? We didn’t have dogs.  We were forbidden from having pets,” explained Arthur.

Lance rolled his eyes. “Figures.  Seemed comfortable with that dog.  What’s his name again?”

“Ben.”

“Ben’s a pretty big dog.  I imagine you’d have been panickin’ if you didn’t at least like dogs,” continued Lance.

Arthur nodded nervously.

“Now, I would not have a problem if you got a smaller pet, but our apartment is probably too small for a dog, ‘specially one that big.”

What.

“And if you never had a pet before, you ought to start small.  Maybe a gerbil or a hamster.”

“Are you offering to get me a pet?” Arthur questioned is disbelief.

Lance made a thinking sound.  “Maybe once you settle down a bit more.  A pet is a lot of responsibility, and right now you oughta focus on learning to live in…the outside world.”  Lance had wanted to say the ‘real world’, but he thought Arthur might take offense.

Arthur was still surprised.  “And you’re all right with that?”

Lance shrugged. “I sometimes consider getting somethin’ myself.  Then I remember how busy I am,” he muttered.  “Wouldn’t know what to get either.  Not exactly the most…social person.”

Arthur nodded. He didn’t have many social skills either.  It was different from Lance though.  Whereas Lance just seemed to be stoic and blunt, Arthur worried about what everyone would think about him if he did even one thing wrong.

He was pretty sure he was doing a lot of things wrong.

…

Arthur wondered if he’d ever get the hang of this new life.

[jazz-eb43]

I’m finally writing Star Wars stuff

Will be posted in full over time on my Wattpad and eventually my AO3

Unable to pinpoint exactly where the icy draft was hitting his neck from, Torrin adjusted his collar for what felt like the hundredth time that minute. He was grateful for the thick gloves he’d been provided with as standard uniform while out on the ice planet, but they weren’t making anything easy, only rendering him clumsier than he usually was. It made him question why he’d been the one asked to go out to check on the East side electrics over anyone else, but it was set to be an easy job so he shouldn’t complain as much as he was. Hoth had finally started to get to Torrin, something he only realised upon giving up on the struggle to protect his neck from the cutting wind, and apply himself fully to the task at hand. Opening the protective casing to the electronics of the generator was a task in itself and the temptation to remove his gloves just so he could use his hands properly had him considering risking the frostbite, fortunately his common sense hadn’t left him yet. The hinges on the box had frozen up, not unusual but definitely frustrating, taking extra effort and more grip than he was certain his gloves would allow him to yank it open with his other hand pushed firmly against the wall in the hope that where his grip failed the leverage would be enough. It didn’t take as much strength as he thought for the box’s door to break free of the icy confinement, the excessive force making it seem as if his other hand had sunk into the wall. Until he realised seconds too late that it indeed had, ice from the ceiling of Echo Base coming down around him in small fragments at first before it caved in fully, his final thoughts before he blacked out being ones of self-cursing. The short maintenance job was never supposed to be this hazardous.

Coming around to purely white surroundings messed with his head, but with each shivering gasp of air he took, he was more convinced he was indeed alive. Everything was blurry, looking the exact same after a few minutes of blinking to try and clear his vision. Many futile attempts to stand became the point at which he realised he’d have to accept his current state. Each attempt to get up ended up with him falling back to the floor, quickly realising that almost every surface he touched was pure ice. It took him a lot longer to fully take in his lack of feeling and movement in his left arm as opposed to just being cold, another thing that he could only accept for the time being.

“Wentré!” The shout echoed, but he questioned that maybe he just heard it that way, the noise resounding in his left ear to a painful extent. He subconsciously held the area as he finally got to his feet, stumbling over various obstacles that he couldn’t see well enough to avoid let alone identify. “Torrin, you alive in there?”

“I’m alright!” He shouted back, unsure if it would be loud enough to hear from the other side of the ice wall that had fallen, as he could now feel, directly in front of him, his hands resting on the uneven surface. As he pushed against it he felt some of the smaller fragments move under his right hand as a sharp pain shot up his whole left arm.

“Hey Wentré we can see you, if you can stand back a little we’ll get you out of there.”

Torrin did as he was told as fast as he could, his first step backwards being over a dislodged chunk of ice which had him back on the ground before he knew what had happened. Seconds later and the wall ahead of him caved in, two other soldiers stood before him and the extent of the damage to his vision highlighted as they were unidentifiable.

“Torrin, are you alright?” He did recognise the voice of his closest friend, still questioning the two of them to be sure.

“I can’t see,” was the first sentence to leave him, stuttered as he shook from the cold that he’d barely noticed until now. “Who’s there?” He knew he was in a relatively safe place, that anyone who knew his name was someone he could trust, but while trying absolutely anything he could think of to restore just a bit of his sight, secure was the last thing he felt.

“It’s Gunseng and Romeri,” he was told, feeling a hand hold his familiarly, Taku Romeri helping him up.

“What a mess you got yourself into,” Nezalis Gunseng laughed, his lighthearted cynicism much needed in their current situation. It was enough to calm him at least a little. “How bad is it? You’re certainly not looking good.”

“I wouldn’t know where to start,” Torrin sighed. “I can’t even see the state of myself to tell you.”

“It’s alright we’re getting you out of here,” Taku told him, essentially holding him up. The relief of rescue and lack of adrenaline had meant he could barely stand, shivers taking over his whole body as both Taku and Nezalis took his weight, moving as quickly as they could to the medbay. 

“Can we get a little help here?” Nezalis yelled ahead of the other two, Torrin relying greatly on Taku for any movement, and only when they pushed past Nezalis did anyone move to assist Taku in his struggle to keep his friend conscious, and alive for that matter.

“Wentré? Torrin you’ve got to stay with us,” Taku muttered, feeling Torrin lean heavier on him before a pair of medics took his weight, moving him to one of the makeshift beds set up in the base’s infirmary. Nezalis quickly picked up on Taku’s worry, reassuring him despite his own lack of certainty.

“He’ll pull through.”

~

“What even happened?” Taku Romeri had a way of talking more than he should, but in the eyes of his older fellow soldiers, it was a hopeful and endearing reminder that not everyone had been turned as cold and hard by the endlessness in everything that was Hoth.

“It was supposed to be a simple maintenance job, heating on the east side was reported patchy,” Torrin explained. “I haven’t heard anything back so I’m assuming it’s fixed.”

“Since when was anything around here simple?” Nezalis wasn’t wrong. Every job was caused by either the hostility of the icy climate, or the local wampa population, and on the occasion that wasn’t true they certainly didn’t make things easier. The war was turning into more of a domestic effort, and Nezalis didn’t need his years of study to know it didn’t feel like they were making progress. At least complaining about the frozen climate meant he didn’t have to think about the bigger picture. “I mean, of all the places in the galaxy, Hoth?”

“I guess that’s the point,” Torrin muttered, no more pleased with their location than anyone else sharing it, but his optimism was sometimes all he had and he was determined to keep a grip on it. As the days dragged on with no significant advances, everyone grew noticeably more weary. Endless words of encouragement for hope, that they’d be making a significant hit soon, or that everything was going well all things considered were passed around, but many people who shared the hopeful phrases had doubts themselves. 

The loss of his professional piloting ability still hadn’t fully hit him even weeks after the incident, and on Echo Base where he wasn’t really doing much, let alone flying, he suspected it would take quite a while longer for him to fully awaken to the impact. Talking about it had become possible though, something he hadn’t expected in the immediate aftermath. He was incredibly grateful for friends like Nezalis and Taku, who had entirely taken keeping his chin up about the ordeal as their personal responsibility.

“You’ve still got the personal permits though?” Nezalis had pointed out. He knew all the regulations for nearly anything much better than the other two although, as they frequently joked, he’d been around a lot longer to learn them. 

“Just,” Torrin told them from his position working under one of the Rebellion’s snowspeeders, still glad his mechanical skills were sufficient. His sight tests had only just passed at the civilian personal permit level. “The bar for that’s on the floor though. I’m not sure how comfortable I’d be.” Torrin had intentionally exaggerated the time he’d need to complete the necessary repairs on the snowspeeder Taku had last taken out on patrol, and he was pretty sure Taku had exaggerated its need for an official mechanic. But with Nezalis in a position to verify all their excuses for more time away from the strict nature of active involvement in the routines of Echo Base, the three of them were glad to have the time to themselves even if it meant being squashed between an ice wall and a snowspeeder for hours on end. 

“Not even the Horizon?” Taku asked, a tempting question, but Torrin was very aware that if he couldn’t even fly his own small transport, then the reality of his loss might just be too much to bear. 

[tariqk]

Thinking about Lisp, software development and collaboration.

So like I've been reading a lot of Paul Graham's On Lisp, and Doug Hoyte's Let Over Lambda, and it's been... interesting.

Cut to spare the timeline.

Like, I don't pretend that I understand these works completely, or that I have anything more than a semi-functional understanding of Lisp — most of my work on Lisps have been on Emacs Lisp, which is really showing it's age, and I've honestly never touched macros in any reasonable level, because honestly speaking macros have a frightening reputation. Thanks to Graham and Hoyte's walkthrough of some of the concepts, though, I think my understanding's a little better, though it can only be tested if I can implement stuff on Common Lisp, if that day ever comes.

What struck me about the commentary was that, well, how much both Hoyte and Graham are fans of the language, and how they often extol its virtues. To both of them, Lisp is something that transcends other languages, that allow programmers to do things that are closer to the problem domain than anything else that people have made. That, when you make a programming language approach the kind of power, extensibility and flexibility that Lisp does, surprise! You've made another flavor of Lisp.

This is a seriously grand claim, but I kept being bugged by one question:

If Lisp Was So Good, Why Isn't It Used More Often?

Like, seriously, I kept reading these claims, and to some degree I could see them backing these claims with examples... and yet if you look at Common Lisp and Scheme projects on the Internet... they're like... scattered and fragmented. You can code, and most importantly, an overwhelming number of people do, from the beginning to the end, full-stack web applications in JavaScript. Lua gets used in everything from window managers to video games customization to desktop widgets. Python's still prevalent in web development to data sciences, and yes, some video games are customized in Python. Like, Ruby was everywhere for a while before it receded.

Like the only exceptions to this are, I guess, Emacs Lisp, which basically sticks with Emacs, and Clojure, which is tied to the JVM, and ClojureScript, which outputs JavaScript. Note how reliant they are on other software and frameworks.

The Answers I've Seen So Far

So, what gives? Like, I've been looking around, and I've seen basically two answers:

Lisp Isn't Popular Because People Are Stupid

No, seriously. This is the argument. Paul Graham engages in it:

People frightened by Lisp make up other reasons for not using it. The standard excuse, back when C was the default language, was that Lisp was too slow. Now that Lisp dialects are among the faster languages available, that excuse has gone away. Now the standard excuse is openly circular: that other languages are more popular.

(Beware of such reasoning. It gets you Windows.)

Popularity is always self-perpetuating, but it's especially so in programming languages. More libraries get written for popular languages, which makes them still more popular. Programs often have to work with existing programs, and this is easier if they're written in the same language, so languages spread from program to program like a virus. And managers prefer popular languages, because they give them more leverage over developers, who can more easily be replaced.

Hoyt engages in this, as well:

Macros have, not by accident, almost as much history as lisp itself, being invented in 1963 by Timothy Hart[MACRO-DEFINITIONS]. However, macros are still not used to the fullest possible extent by most lisp programmers and are not used at all by all other programmers. This has always been a conundrum for advanced lispers. Since macros are so great, why doesn't everybody use them all the time? While it's true that the smartest, most determined programmers always end up at lisp macros, few start their programming careers there. Understanding why macros are so great requires understanding what lisp has that other languages don't. It requires an understanding of other, less powerful languages. Sadly, most programmers lose the will to learn after they have mastered a few other languages and never make it close to understanding what a macro is or how to take advantage of one. But the top percentile of programmers in any language are always forced to learn some sort of way to write programs that write programs: macros. Because it is the best language for writing macros, the smartest and most determined and most curious programmers always end up at lisp.

I mean, the argument is pretty clear: because Lisp is so powerful, and that it takes so much study and effort to work at it, that only top-tier programmers are the only ones who understand Lisp. Implied, however, is the assumption that if you don't get Lisp, well, you're not a top-tier programmer, and you Just Don't Get It.

Which gets to the second explanation of why Lisp isn't popular:

Lisp Users Are Assholes

I mean, the above quotes are a sampling, and, honestly, a mild one, of the perceived attitudes of Lisp aficianados to the outside world. And it doesn't help that Hoyt then proceeds to call other non-Lisp Languages “Blub”, which, despite his many attempts to soften the blow, just makes him sound like an asshole. Like, you could have said “other languages”, dude. Sure it's less efficient, but you're dealing with people, not machines.

Like, Mark Tarver has an essay about the assholishness of Lisp users, which I don't recommend you read, because CONTENT WARNING ableism1. Maybe if you wanna take a look at commentary on that, you can go for Rudolf Winestock's The Lisp Curse, which is a little better, I guess?

Lisp is so powerful, that it encourages individual independence to the point of bloody-mindedness. This independence has produced stunningly good innovation as in the Lisp Machine days. This same independence also hampers efforts to revive the “Lisp all the way down” systems of old; no “Lisp OS” project has gathered critical mass since the demise of Symbolics and LMI.

[...]

Why [doesn't the Lisp community] make a free development system that calls to mind some of the lost glories of the LispM, even if they can't reproduce another LispM?

The reason why this doesn't happen is because of the Lisp Curse. Large numbers of Lisp hackers would have to cooperate with each other. Look more closely: Large numbers of the kind of people who become Lisp hackers would have to cooperate with each other.

The argument is, commercially, if you're a brilliant asshole, no one wants you. While your brilliance would be an asset for a while, what really makes organizations and enterprises scale isn't the fact that they hire brilliant people, but that they hire and use people brilliantly, in ways that are robust and don't rely on having the Right Kind of People on board. It's also why computer security is such a fucking thing to get right, because most of the solutions seem to be... hire the best in the industry and go with that? Which works great until your Chief Security Officer gets run over by a bus a better offer from the competition. Then what?

I mean, yes, capitalist models rely on you having a development workforce that is fungible, because it is cheaper in the long run, but it also reduces risk, even if reducing labor costs aren't a thing for you. It's also more democratic that way, because, yes, you need it to be accessible and approachable to the people who are affected by your code. And it needs to be reproducible, because if not, what if it's scientific work and we need to verify it?

But, even then, this diagnosis — that, charitably, the expressiveness of Lisp attracts brilliant assholes who can't even be convinced to work with one another rankles, because it fundamentally means that there's no solution. The language is too good for normies, and only assholes will use it, ∴ that's the end. Nothing more can be said.

I wonder if there's more to it. And I suspect there might be.

The Social Models Around Lisp Might Actually Be Toxic

Notice the commonality around the four people I've quoted above?

Yup.

They're all white dudes.

I'm not saying that the Lisp community is so toxic because the loudest voices within Lisp are all white men. I'm saying that the fundamental assumptions that these white men have about what is good might actually be a reason why Lisp's community might be so toxic.

There's a difference. Bear with me.

Graham actually talks about the process of developing software in Lisp — the bottom-up approach — but he talks about it in a way that assumes that development occurs with a single person, and that the final vision of the problem space is the insight of one person, or a small group of people with a common enough vision: sort of a Cathedral-style system. Does it have to be?

Why can't bottom-up development occur in a collaborative, cooperative system? Sure, Lisp “doesn't have syntax” (which always weirded me out — it does have syntax, just one that's “invisible” and “self-evident” to a certain class of mind). One that eschews the models that we're used to in capitalist and hegemonic systems. If Lisp is one of the purest forms of mathematical expression, what Hoyt refers to as a “U-Language”, shouldn't it be universally accessible and open to critique?

Maybe the reason why Lisp doesn't work is because the social models around Lisp — one that erases and diminishes the contributions and the lives of people who aren't white men of a certain analytical mindset — make it fail. Maybe whiteness — the social construct, one that lionizes individual brilliance of a specific kind, emphasizes competition over collaboration, pretends that there is an Objective™ Truth over the experiences of others, and considers all emotions other than violent, abusive ones weakness — is the reason why Lisp fails, despite its expressiveness and power.

Maybe the way to do it is to change the way people learn Lisp, and work with Lisp, and collaborate with Lisp, rather than the model we have today.

Could something like that, a system that allows easy, safe collaboration, and organisations that deliberately go for minority and disadvantaged groups, be something that could kick Lisp out of its doldrums?

He calls these people “brilliant bipolar minds”, because, of course. Just because you can diagnose the problem doesn't mean that you don't have the problem as well. ↩︎

[snakecolumn95]

Why You Can’t Afford Not To Meditate (& One Simple Mindfulness Exercise You Can Do Today)

The following is a guest post by Emily Fletcher, a leading expert in meditation for extraordinary performance and former podcast guest of mine on the episode, “Meditation For Mind-Blowing Sex, Meditation For Insomnia, Meditation For Energy & Much More.“

Emily is also the founder of Ziva Meditation. You can use code: BEN50 to save $50 off of The Ziva Technique, a powerful trifecta of mindfulness, meditation, and manifesting designed to unlock your full potential. Its benefits include decreased stress, deeper sleep, improved immune function, and extraordinary performance.

Her book, ​Stress Less, Accomplish More,​ debuted at #7 out of all books on Amazon. Basically, Emily is a meditation ninja, so I couldn’t think of a better person to fill my readers in on the health benefits on meditating. Enjoy!

How To Reverse The Damage Of Stress

It’s easy to fall into the illusion that once you become successful your stress will magically disappear. As a meditation teacher to some of the world’s top performers, I have learned that even people at the top of their game are often crippled with stress. Where this gets tricky is that many of them see this as a positive thing. Most of my CEO clients will say, “Stress gives me my competitive edge.” Many of my actor clients will say, “My stress is where my creativity comes from.” And my fitness friends will say, “Stress fuels me so I can kick a$$ during my workouts.”

The problem is, this isn’t true.

Don’t get me wrong. ​Some​ stress is great. The acute stress of a HIIT workout, a cold plunge, or even something as simple as eating wild plants is indeed good for you. It strengthens the strong mitochondria and kills off the weak ones. This is called hormesis—and it is wildly different than the low-grade chronic stress most of us have been living with for decades.

I’m talking about work deadlines, your passive aggressive mother-in-law, someone cutting you off in traffic. All of these things send us into a fight or flight stress reaction that was once reserved for fighting off predators. Today, our bodies are continuously preparing for battle—even when there’s no physical threat in sight. Add to that the fact that much of our food isn’t food anymore, the 24-hour fear-inducing news cycle, soaking in screen lights instead of sunlight, and we have a perfect recipe for overwhelm and fatigue.

Get The Low Carb Athlete - 100% Free!Eliminate fatigue and unlock the secrets of low-carb success. 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Operating day in and day out with that low-grade, chronic stress is basically like dumping acid—adrenaline and cortisol—into our brains and bodies all day every day. And it’s not doing us any favors in the performance or beauty department. The effects include insomnia, inflammation, premature aging, erectile dysfunction, infertility, irritable bowel syndrome, and anxiety.

So, while it’s not bad for you to ​get​ stressed, it’s terrible for you to stay​ stressed. According to research from Harvard Medical School, stress is responsible for ​90%​ of all doctors visits. Yup, you read that right—90%. And that stress and inflammation may be keeping you from getting the most out of your life and performing at the top of your game.

Ready for some good news? This is all reversible—and the method used to reverse it has been used successfully for over 6,000 years. I’m talking about ​meditation.

Why You’re Not Too Busy to Meditate

Right now, it seems everyone is talking about meditation. And at this point, you probably know you ​should​ be doing it. You’ve heard the seemingly endless amounts of neuroscience behind it; you’ve read the articles about the countless benefits. Maybe you’ve even dabbled with free mindfulness apps or a drop-in studio.

But now that we know for sure it’s so good for us, ​why do so many of us still think we’re too busy to meditate?​ Especially since many of the world’s top performers have outed themselves as meditators, including Bill Gates, Ray Dalio, Tim Ferriss, Oprah, and Jack Dorsey (Check out Ben’s podcast, “Advanced Stress Mitigation Tactics, Extreme Time-Saving Workouts, DIY Cold Tubs, Hormesis, One-Meal-A-Day & More.” for more on how Dorsey uses mediation to handle the tremendous amount of stress he deals with in his life and work.)

People come to me every day and say that they simply don’t have time to meditate. When I ask them what style they are doing they usually say they listen to a YouTube video or do 10 minutes of a guided app here and there. While there is nothing wrong with these styles, they may not be giving you the kind of return on time investment you are looking for. And if you don’t do it everyday you simply aren’t getting the same amount of benefit available if you get your buns in the chair on the reg.

None of us have time to waste. So if you aren’t noticing you have more time, better decision-making capabilities, a stronger sex drive, and more flow state you may want to explore other styles; perhaps even one that you look forward to instead of feeling like it is yet another chore on your to-do list (yes, they do exist).

Right now, meditation is undergoing the same facelift exercise did in the 70s. The evidence is pretty stacked—meditation will indeed make your life better.

Why?

Because it eliminates stress from your brain and body. And eliminating that stress helps you to ​sleep better, have sharper focus, better decision-making skills, a stronger immune system, increased productivity, and even better sex.

Before you roll your eyes, I want you to take all preconceived notions you have about meditation and throw them out the window. If the first thing you think about when you hear “the M word” is monks, incense, fancy fingers, gongs, or hippies, then you’re in luck. You don’t need to be or have any of those things to meditate. Here’s what you ​do​ need to start your meditation career: training.

The reason why so many of us feel like meditation failures is that we assume we should already magically know how to do it. But like anything else, we need to ​learn​ how to do it in order to get the highest return on our time investment. You wouldn’t decide, “I’m going to do a Japanese challenge” and then try to speak Japanese for 20 minutes a day without investing in some sort of training first. That would be unproductive, frustrating and likely lead to you quitting. Similarly, in order to get the most benefit from your meditation practice, you have to learn how to do it. Don’t confuse simplicity for weakness or ease.

But first, let’s get clear on the difference between mindfulness (what most people are practicing) and meditation (what I teach).

Mindfulness vs. Meditation

Recently, the ​New York Times​ reported that out of the 38 million people who downloaded the Headspace app, only 1 million people have paid for a continuing membership.

What that suggests to me is that there are 37 million people out there looking for a mental tool that will make them want to continue on.

This makes sense; because most of the “meditation” apps out there are teaching shades of mindfulness—which is very good at relieving your stress in the right now. Mindfulness is beautiful (it’s even a part of the technique that I teach at Ziva), ​but if you want to get rid of the stress you’ve built up in your cellular and epigenetic memory then we need to give the body the deep healing rest of meditation.​

Research has shown that we are ​storing several generations of stress in our nervous systems​, meaning that your stress isn’t just YOUR stress—it will also affect future generations after you if you don’t take care of it now. To really dive deep and clear out the stress you’ve been storing in your nervous system, it’s time for a hardware upgrade on your brain machine.

So how do you do that?

By practicing a technique that was made for people with busy minds and busy lives. A practice that’s specifically designed to go in and de-excite the nervous system, giving your body rest that is deeper than sleep to help you perform at the top of your game.

I teach a powerful trifecta of mindfulness, meditation, and manifesting called The Ziva Technique. The mindfulness portion is a lovely runway from your 100mph day into the deep, healing rest that is meditation. If mindfulness is the appetizer of The Ziva Technique, meditation really is the main course. I teach a way of meditating that lets you access a verifiable fourth state of consciousness—different that waking, sleeping or dreaming. And this state is what allows your body to access a type of rest allows your body to heal itself—mainly from stress.

You’ll be amazed to find that when you chip away at the backlog of stress stored in your nervous system, you become more productive, more clear, more creative, more patient. Your sleep gets more restful, your anxiety abates, and your sex even gets better! All things that save you time and energy (and help you enjoy your life a lot more).

A perfect example of why you don’t have time NOT to meditate is this: in a case study for meditation and the workplace, Aetna participated in a meditation program to see how it affected general work performance. ​The CEO found that the employees who meditated gained over an hour of productivity each week (translating to a savings of $3,000 per employee per year!). ​This means they were able to work through their to-do lists in less time while also reducing stress.

In addition to increased productivity, meditation also helps you:

Mindfulness and meditation are both important to becoming the most amazing version of yourself and used in tandem will help wipe out stress right now while digging up the trauma that’s been stored in your cells.

Come To Your Senses – One Simple Mindfulness Exercise You Can Do Right Now

If you’re interested in dipping a toe into the type of technique that I teach, here’s a mindfulness exercise that we use to prepare for a sitting of the full Ziva Technique.

This is great for slowing down the momentum of your day so that you can allow everything happening around you to be part of the experience instead of trying to block things out or pretend you can’t hear.

Have a seat with your back supported and your head free. Close your eyes and move through each of your five senses. Notice what you hear, what you feel, what you see, what you taste and what you smell—one at a time. For each one, notice the most prevalent and the most subtle sensations. Then, begin to stack all of your senses on top of one another, holding all of them in your awareness at one time. I would recommend starting with five minutes and building up to eight.

Using your five senses is a great way to ground yourself in your body and in the present moment which is where your fulfillment lives, inside of you and in this moment.

Summary

Meditation is a proven, powerful tool that the world’s top performers rely on to minimize stress. It’s been proven to help with symptoms of depression, enhance longevity, and minimize the cognitive decline that comes with aging.

If you haven’t already, check out my podcast with Emily to learn more about meditation, how you can use it to get the equivalent of taking a power nap, the best form of meditation for sleep or insomnia, and much more.

If you’re ready to give meditation a try for yourself, my company Kion will be leading a FREE 5-day meditation challenge starting next week. Whether you’re new to meditation, want to learn more about it and its benefits, or are a seasoned veteran looking to take part in a worldwide meditation challenge with thousands of other like-minded people from across the globe (Kion’s fasting challenge had over 10,000 participants!), you won’t want to miss this.

With guided meditations led by yours truly, along with Emily Fletcher, Paul Chek and Kion COO, Angelo Keely, you’ll learn how to make meditation practical, the most effective techniques, as well as how to customize your own practice with a comprehensive eBook.

Sign up here to get in on all of the upcoming meditation goodness.

What about you? What are your experiences with meditation, or what questions do you have for Emily or me? Please leave your questions, comments, and feedback in the comments section below, and one of us will reply!

Ask Ben a Podcast Question

Source: https://bengreenfieldfitness.com/article/brain-articles/health-benefits-of-meditation/

[biofunmy]

If Seeing the World Helps Ruin It, Should We Stay Home?

The glaciers are melting, the coral reefs are dying, Miami Beach is slowly going under.

Quick, says a voice in your head, go see them before they disappear! You are evil, says another voice. For you are hastening their destruction.

To a lot of people who like to travel, these are morally bewildering times. Something that seemed like pure escape and adventure has become double-edged, harmful, the epitome of selfish consumption. Going someplace far away, we now know, is the biggest single action a private citizen can take to worsen climate change. One seat on a flight from New York to Los Angeles effectively adds months worth of human-generated carbon emissions to the atmosphere.

And yet we fly more and more.

The number of airline passengers worldwide has more than doubled since 2003, and unlike with some other pollution sources, there’s not a ton that can be done right now to make flying significantly greener — electrified jets are not coming to an airport near you anytime soon.

Still, we wonder: How much is that one vacation really hurting anyone, or anything?

It is hard to think about climate change in relation to our own behavior. We are small, our effects are microscopically incremental and we mean no harm. The effects of climate change are inconceivably enormous and awful — and for the most part still unrealized. You can’t see the face of the unnamed future person whose coastal village you will have helped submerge.

But it turns out there are ways to quantify your impact on the planet, at least roughly. In 2016, two climatologists published a paper in the prestigious journal Science showing a direct relationship between carbon emissions and the melting of Arctic sea ice.

Each additional metric ton of carbon dioxide or its equivalent — your share of the emissions on a cross-country flight one-way from New York to Los Angeles — shrinks the summer sea ice cover by 3 square meters, or 32 square feet, the authors, Dirk Notz and Julienne Stroeve, found.

In February, my family of three flew from New York to Miami for what seemed like a pretty modest winter vacation. An online carbon calculator tells me that our seats generated the equivalent of 2.4 metric tons of carbon dioxide.

Throw in another quarter-ton for the 600 miles of driving we squeezed in and a bit for the snorkeling trip and the heated pool at the funky trailer-park Airbnb, and the bill comes to about 90 square feet of Arctic ice, an area about the size of a pickup truck.

When I did that calculation, I pictured myself standing on a pickup-truck-sized sheet of ice as it broke apart and plunged me into frigid waters. A polar bear glared hungrily at me.

Calculating the harm

And what of my vacation’s impact on my fellow man? Actually, academics have attempted to calculate that, too. Philosophers, not climatologists. But still.

In 2005, a Dartmouth professor, Walter Sinnott-Armstrong, wrote in a journal article provocatively titled “It’s Not my Fault: Global Warming and Individual Moral Obligations” that he was under no moral obligation to refrain from taking a gas-guzzling S.U.V. for a Sunday afternoon joy ride if he felt like doing so.

“No storms or floods or droughts or heat waves can be traced to my individual act of driving,” he wrote. Conversely, “If I refrain from driving for fun on this one Sunday, there is no individual who will be helped in the least.”

Other philosophers questioned his reasoning.

Professor John Nolt of the University of Tennessee took a stab at measuring the damage done by one average American’s lifetime emissions. (The average American generates about 16 metric tons of carbon dioxide-equivalent a year, more than triple the global average.)

Noting that carbon stays in the atmosphere for centuries, at least, and that a United Nations panel found in 2007 that climate change is “likely to adversely affect hundreds of millions of people through increased coastal flooding, reductions in water supplies, increased malnutrition and increased health impacts” in the next 100 years, Professor Nolt did a lot of division and multiplication and arrived at a stark conclusion:

“The average American causes through his/her greenhouse gas emissions the serious suffering and/or deaths of two future people.”

Then Avram Hiller of Portland State University used Professor Nolt’s approach to derive the impact of Professor Sinnott-Armstrong’s hypothetical 25-mile ride.

“At a ratio of one life’s causal activities per one life’s detrimental effects, it causes the equivalent of a quarter of a day’s severe harm,” he wrote.

“In other words, going for a Sunday drive has the expected effect of ruining someone’s afternoon.”

Multiply that joy ride by a three-person Florida vacation and you’ve ruined someone’s month. Something to ponder while soaking up UV-drenched rays on a tropical beach.

Ships? Even worse

There are alternatives to flying, of course. Perhaps a cruise? After all, there’s more ocean than there’s been in thousands of years. With the Northwest Passage now mostly ice-free in the summer, new vistas have opened. One cruise company runs polar bear tours to check out “the Arctic’s ‘poster boy.’”

Perhaps not. Bryan Comer, a researcher at the International Council on Clean Transportation, a nonprofit research group, told me that even the most efficient cruise ships emit 3 to 4 times more carbon dioxide per passenger-mile than a jet.

And that’s just greenhouse gas. Last year, an assistant professor at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health found that the air onboard cruise ships was many times dirtier than the air nearby onshore.

“Some of the particulate counts were comparable to or worse than a bad day in some of the world’s most polluted cities like Beijing and Santiago,” said Kendra Ulrich of Stand.earth, the advocacy group that commissioned the study.

While most cruise ships run on highly polluting heavy fuel oil, many have begun using “scrubbers” to remove toxic sulfur oxides from their exhaust. But the scrubbers discharge these and other pollutants into the ocean instead, and they’ve been banned by seven countries and several U.S. states.

A spokeswoman for Cruise Lines International Association, a trade group, said that the scrubbers comply with the new 2020 standards for air and water quality set by the International Maritime Organization, a U.N. agency. The spokeswoman, Megan King, added that it was not fair to compare emissions from ships and jets because a jet is just a transportation vehicle while a cruise ship is a floating resort and amusement park.

There’s always driving, which is less carbon intensive than flying, especially if there are multiple passengers. But “less” is relative, and most long trips are out of practical driving range anyway.

Considering carbon offsets

Maybe there is a justification out there somewhere: Personal decisions alone won’t stop global warming — that will take policy changes by governments on a worldwide scale. Tourism creates millions of jobs in places starved for economic development. Carbon offsets can effectively cancel out our footprint, can’t they?

Carbon offsets do seem to offer the most direct way to assuage traveler’s guilt. In theory, they magically expiate your sins. You give a broker some money (not a lot of money either — carbon offsets can be bought for $10 per metric ton). They give it to someone to plant trees, or capture the methane from a landfill or a cattle operation, or help build a wind farm, or subsidize clean cookstoves for people in the developing world who cook on open fires. All these things help cut greenhouse gas.

But nothing is that simple in practice. Carbon-offset people talk about concerns with things called additionality, leakage and permanence.

Additionality: How do you know the utility would not have built the wind farm but for the money you gave them?

Permanence: How do you know the timber company that planted those trees won’t just cut them down in a few years?

Leakage: How do you know the landowner you just paid not to cut down an acre of rain forest won’t use the money to buy a different acre and clear that?

While certifying organizations go to great lengths to verify carbon offset projects, verification has limits.

“Whether someone would have planted trees anyway, or taken some other action like building a housing development, is ultimately unknowable and something you have to construct,” said Peter Miller, a policy director for the Natural Resources Defense Council and a board member of the Climate Action Reserve, the country’s biggest carbon offset registry. “It’s an endless debate.”

Some carbon offsets are surer bets than others. “With methane capture,” Mr. Miller said, “once you capture that methane and you burn it — you’re done. It’s not in the atmosphere, it’s not going in the atmosphere. You’ve got a credit that’s achieved and you’ve avoided those emissions forever.”

Not flying at all would be better, Mr. Miller said, “but the reality is that there’s lots of folks that are going to do what they’re going to do.” For them, offsets are a lot better than nothing.

But some climate experts call offsets a cop-out.

“It’s like paying someone else to diet for you,” said Alice Larkin of the University of Manchester’s Tyndall Centre for Climate Change Research, who has not flown since 2008.

She said that while governments do need to take tough action, they derive their courage to do so from the conduct of citizens. “In my idea, people move first,” she said.

Offsets, she said, encourage a break-even mind-set when what’s needed to avert disaster is to slash fossil-fuel consumption immediately.

Her colleague Kevin Anderson says that when you buy a ticket you’re not buying just a seat on a plane. You’re telling the aviation industry to run more flights, build more jets, expand more airports.

“Offsetting, on all scales, weakens present-day drivers for change and reduces innovation towards a lower-carbon future,” Professor Anderson wrote in 2012. Lately, a grassroots anti-flying movement has been gathering momentum in Europe, particularly Scandinavia.

But the world still beckons

I’d like to be able to tell you that knowing what I’ve learned reporting this piece, I have sworn off long-distance travel.

But actually this summer, we’re going to Greece, with a stopover in Paris. Carbon footprint of plane tickets: 10.6 metric tons, enough to melt a small-apartment-sized piece of the Arctic.

We committed to going months ago, but I suspect we would make the same choice today. We’re going because last year we canceled vacation to come home and watch our dog die. We’re going because the New York City public high school application process was an ordeal.

Mostly we’re going because of things we saw last time we were there. The tiny beach at the base of the towering cliff. The playground where the little children played past midnight while their parents and grandparents sat chatting. Chubby partridges pecking around the ruined temple of Poseidon.

Before we go, we will buy enough offsets to capture the annual methane emanations of a dozen cows — that’s several times what is needed to balance out the carbon effects of our flights. May they help keep a polar bear afloat.

Andy Newman is a Metro reporter for The New York Times.

Follow NY Times Travel on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. Get weekly updates from our Travel Dispatch newsletter, with tips on traveling smarter, destination coverage and photos from all over the world.

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[johnchiarello]

Kings 7

KINGS 7

Hebrews 8:5

Who serve unto the example and shadow of heavenly things, as Moses was admonished of God when he was about to make the tabernacle: for, See, saith he, that thou make all things according to the pattern shewed to thee in the mount.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

 Kings 7- https://youtu.be/vV3VwRrY_0M

https://ccoutreach87.files.wordpress.com/2017/06/6-6-17-kings-7.zip

https://ccoutreach87.com/6-6-17-kings-7/

https://vimeo.com/221892931

Gary update- https://youtu.be/cKQlYzQFUfQ

http://wp.me/a4V5qQ-C1

 NOTE- Why all the video links? As I uploaded to Youtube- once again someone ‘hacked’ into my site- and changed the settings to private. I usually go to settings- and change them back. This time my access to Youtube was denied. So- that's why I added W.P. and vimeo. I haven’t commented on the media recently [ I made this post before yesterdays roll out- before I spoke about the crisis in Corpus Christi Texas- the corruption in the courts- judge Sandra Watts- Judge Loyd Neal not running again- the national media rebuking the CCPD for the famous Rosas case- Flash bomb- the national media questioning the shooting of Judge Tom Greenwell in the Nueces county court house- yes- I made this post before all of this- here’s the link- https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/06/16/friday-3/ ] but one of the big stories is the Comey leaks to the NY times. Ok- I find it funny- because Comey leaked his memos to the Times- because he felt he needed to get the info out. There have been other intelligence people who have done the same- though the leaks are illegal- they feel they are doing it for protection. Yet- the same government [U.S.] is going after Snowden- Assange- Reality Winner- for doing the same thing. Yes-we live in a day where social media- and ‘leaking’ play an important role- shining light. I just find it ironic that the ‘deep state’ leaks like a sieve - yet they also hunt down others who do the same.

 ON VIDEOS-

.Gary update

.Why am I still teaching Kings?

.Discipline to finish the job

.Many houses [Mansions]

.Solomon stuck with the pattern and built more than one

.Another Hiram

.More than enough

.Wisdom to build

.Global warming

.B.P. oil spill [Remember the video of all the ‘filthy oil’ spilling into the sea- that was unrefined oil meaning- it was nature- the oil was as natural as the salt in the sea- the sand on the shore- it came from under the ocean floor- a purely natural thing. Yet- in the minds of the public/media- they made you think it was like refined dirty oil spilling from some refinery]

.Don’t cut corners

.Free cigarettes!

.What day are the prophets speaking about?

.Wisdom from my homeless friend Albert

Zechariah 11:8

Three shepherds also I cut off in one month; and my soul lothed them, and their soul also abhorred me.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

 PAST POSTS [These are my past teachings that relate in some way to this post KINGS 7-verses below]

KINGS-

https://ccoutreach87.com/1st-2nd-kings/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/03/29/kings-2/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/04/12/kings-3/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/04/27/kings-4/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/05/04/kings-5/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/05/25/kings-6/

Bible books I quoted on today’s video- here are my complete studies on those books-

https://ccoutreach87.com/john-complete-links-added/

https://ccoutreach87.com/hebrews-updated-2015/

https://ccoutreach87.com/james-2015/

(1055) 1ST KINGS 7- We have more details of what went into the building of the temple. The ‘foundation stones’ were large and costly. Remember, Solomon was said to have ‘largeness of heart’. In the New Testament the Apostles are called the foundation stones of Gods spiritual temple. Peter calls us living stones. Let’s do a little house cleaning; in all areas of church renewal/reformation, we need to be careful when handling the foundation stones. In some efforts to reform [Emergent] there is an attempt to return to the teachings of Jesus, as opposed to Paul. The problem with this effort is the historic church [and scripture!] teach us that Jesus appeared to Paul [Acts 9] and told him he would be a witness of the things that Jesus would reveal to him. So if the revelation/teaching from Paul on the atonement and the substitutionary sacrifice of Christ, if these teachings are things that were shown to Paul from Jesus himself [which I believe they were] then to ignore them would be like removing the ‘foundation stones’ of the temple. These are ‘large stones’ [doctrines accepted across the broad stream of Christian churches; Catholic, Orthodox, Reformed, Radical Reformers, etc...] large stones that form the foundation of all Christian truth, C.S. Lewis’s ‘common hall’ if you will [though Lewis himself said some shaky stuff on the atonement]. I want to restate that we sometimes confuse the foundational doctrines of Christianity with the limited practices of Christianity that have developed over the centuries. We need to understand/embrace the ‘faith once delivered to the saints’ while at the same time being flexible in the various structures that Christians have developed over the centuries to express their faith. As we challenge ‘high church’ [liturgical] structures, we need to be careful that we are not also challenging the heart of the gospel as well. I have heard/read too many statements from certain reformers that are way too pluralistic in their expression of the gospel. Denials of the Cross being the key mechanism that God chose to use to redeem man [foundation stones!] Or the mistake of thinking that the Cross was simply a display of the injustices of man, a challenge to unjust governments oppressing men. While the apostle Peter does teach us that the Cross was a display/example left to us on how we should react to suffering and oppression, yet it wasn’t ONLY that. It was also a redemptive sacrifice made on the behalf of sinful men; ‘Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures’ [Corinthians]. Well, lets just keep in mind that as God’s ‘living temple’ we are being built upon the foundation of the Apostles and Prophets [Ephesians] Jesus himself being the ‘chief corner stone’, be careful when messing with the stones!

    GLOBAL WARMING- I wrote better posts on this before- I can’t find them now. But being I spoke about it some on the video- I’ll paste them here. I wrote these years ago- but they still apply-

(1321) WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL COPENHAGEN!  Today the president jets off to Copenhagen for the closing of the world summit on global warming. He originally was going to go at the start but the politicos figured if he went at the end he might be able to undo the last failed Copenhagen venture- getting turned down for the next Olympic Games at Chicago. But what has happened instead is the summit has been a disaster. Why? First you of course had the nuts in the streets destroying stuff, but more importantly you had some major disagreements between the nations attending. The poorer nations actually walked out at one point because they want the industrialized world to fund them at 100 billion dollars for their part in cutting greenhouse gases, the rich countries are pledging 10 billion. China and India, 2 of the greatest polluters on the planet [they make up a total of 80 % of all the pollutants] are not willing to sign a binding agreement which can be verified. Why? These countries are at the beginning of their own industrial revolutions, they still have many years of rapid growth ahead before their overall population benefits from their growth. India has many people still in the extreme poverty class and for all practical purposes you are asking  them to trade much of the future of their country for a possible fraction of a degree of global warming over hundred a year period. I mean it’s really a cost/benefit scenario. Now, am I a global warming denier? No. the science seems pretty clear, the nations of the world have gone thru an industrial age and the effects of burning coal and other dirty energy have produced lots of green house gasses that get trapped in the atmosphere and cause the heat to stay in. Not too hard to understand. So what’s the problem, well we don’t really know for sure how much of an overall effect we can have over the long haul. For instance our planet has gone thru at least one ice age and we have only been keeping global heat records for a short time. We don’t know if the earth goes thru thousand year cycles of cooling and heating that we could have little effect on. For instance if we are on a warming trend, and say the planet is going to warm so many degrees over the next thousand years, well maybe our efforts at cooling it less than one degree in the overall scheme really doesn’t count for much. Then there is the real cost/benefits analysis- I’m not talking profits for industry, but real questions on whether or not the global community should sink trillions of dollars over many years into this project, which might not save too many lives; or sink the money into these 3rd world countries who have hundreds of thousands of kids dying because they simply don’t have the money to feed them or provide them with cheap vaccines. This same money today can save so many lives. A serious global warming believer has done the analysis and believes it simply is not feasible to spend the money on the global warming efforts. If we had the extra billions to spend, sure let’s do it. But if we are doing it at the expense of real time lives, then it’s simply foolish. Last night I watched a documentary on the logging business in the Amazon, how so many poorer areas have learned the trade of tree chopping and have lifted themselves out of poverty by cutting down the trees. Now lots of the Amazon has been destroyed and it is an environmental disaster to some degree. So they started this fund that pays the tree choppers more money to not cut the trees. As they interviewed this brother who seemed to be on the lower income scale of society, they showed you him with his used chain saw and his truck and all the ‘blessings’ he has reaped from his new found job; they asked him why he won’t stop chopping thee trees. He said they don’t want to get paid for doing nothing. Ouch! They rather cut the trees and feel industrious than take the free welfare money that the west wants to appease them with. What a lesson for the victim hood mentality of the west. The reporter drove down the road to an Indian tribal area that never cut the trees; they always respected the land and lived off of fishing and hunting. What did their chief say? That they are not getting money because they have always preserved the trees, therefore they will start chopping the trees so the west will pay them to stop. What’s going on here? We have many well meaning people on both sides of all these issues, overall we have to be realistic about this stuff. Poor countries are not going to sacrifice their people on the altar of global warming science when they are not sure their efforts will really pay off in the long run, many of them attended the summit because they were simply hoping the rich countries would give them money. Rich western nations can’t expect to impose these types of restrictions on developing nations, it’s just unrealistic. And last of all the president just told us the country will go bankrupt if we don’t pass the latest version of health reform; you know, the version with no public option, no Medicare buy in, no real control over what the insurance companies will charge us. This bill has now become a bad bill as far as I can tell, then what in the heck are we doing making the second trip to Copenhagen in the last few months? The president used to say he was not like the last administration, he could walk and chew gum at the same time- I’m beginning to wonder about that.

[parts]

Last night I had a rough night, I thought I would skip the Monday morning intercession time, I do pray regularly during the week and figured it would be no big deal. But when I got up [a few hours ago] I felt the Lord wanted me to pray, so I did the normal intercession thing [3:30-5-5:30]. I read earlier in Luke 11 where Jesus is accused of casting out demons by the devil, he then corrects the accusers and says when a strong man is in control of his house, his goods are at peace, but when a stronger man comes upon him and overcomes him, he robs him of his goods. During my prayer time I quote lots of stuff, one of the regular quotes is ‘strengthen the bars of our gates, bless our children within, let peace be within our borders and let out garners be filled, providing all manner of store’. I felt like the Lord was telling me that when we pray we are ‘binding the strongman’ and ‘our goods’ [the people/communities we are working with] experience peace. Jesus said when the leader is leading his ‘goods are at peace’ I thought this was interesting. I at first felt like I was the one who was being overcome by the strongman, having a tough day and all, but then I felt like the lord was saying ‘no, when you persevere in prayer, you are overcoming his goods!’ [The people he holds in bondage]. Jesus also gives the famous quote ‘a house divided against itself can not stand’ I think Lincoln quoted this during the Civil war. As of today [7-09] I feel this is a sad description of the political environment of our country. I am not a conservative per se, or a liberal! But as a Christian I think we should be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. I want national heal care! I don’t have any medical coverage for myself right now, so yeah, I want it. Our country is in pretty bad financial shape right now, don’t let the media fool you. We have sent representatives to China and other nations that lend us money, we have asked them to please not cut us off as borrowers, this my friends is not a good thing. California has the eight biggest economy, in the world! They are giving out i.o.u’s for heavens sake! I am not an alarmist, but you would have to be blind to think that things are all right, and yet the politicians are making decisions based on their political interests. I know our president means well, but it is simply irresponsible to try and initiate a trillion dollar national health plan at this time, he realizes this, but they still talk about it as a possible option. Or to be the only country that passes ‘cap and trade’ laws [cutting back pollution- or simply new laws to make more money for the govt.] as of now the bill has passed in the house, but is having problems with the conservatives in the senate [Democrats and Republicans]. Obama just went to the G-8 [meetings with the top industrial nations] and not a single nation would bind itself to any pollution control mandates. But they agreed to ‘try not let the world temperature rise by more than a few degrees over the next 50 years’ wow, what a deal! The whole point being these other industrial nations laugh at us for doing what we do. In a time of national economic crisis, you cant pass laws that would put an extra burden on any type of business in the U.S. Now, I believe the environment is important, but we our not ‘the globe’! Global warming is warming effecting ‘the globe’ if the other nations on the globe don’t give a rip, we are fooling ourselves by strapping our nation with restrictions, we cant change the global environment by ourselves. Now to be doing all this at a time where the world markets are thinking of raising our debt risk is truly irresponsible. Then why are  we doing it? Because the political wars are on and each side wants to score points with it’s base, truly sad. Lincoln quoted Jesus and realized that a nation divided against itself would not stand, I fear we are looking like that nation more and more each day.

  [parts]

 VERSES- [The verses I taught- or quoted on today’s post KINGS 7]

John 14:2

In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

Proverbs 24:3

Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established:

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

1 Corinthians 9:24

Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

Psalm 19:13

Keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me: then shall I be upright, and I shall be innocent from the great transgression.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

Isaiah 43:13

Yea, before the day was I am he; and there is none that can deliver out of my hand: I will work, and who shall let it?

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

Psalm 118:24 [Full Chapter]

This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.

James 1:5

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

1Kings 7:1 But Solomon was building his own house thirteen years, and he finished all his house.

1Kings 7:2 He built also the house of the forest of Lebanon; the length thereof was an hundred cubits, and the breadth thereof fifty cubits, and the height thereof thirty cubits, upon four rows of cedar pillars, with cedar beams upon the pillars.

1Kings 7:3 And it was covered with cedar above upon the beams, that lay on forty five pillars, fifteen in a row.

1Kings 7:4 And there were windows in three rows, and light was against light in three ranks.

1Kings 7:5 And all the doors and posts were square, with the windows: and light was against light in three ranks.

1Kings 7:6 And he made a porch of pillars; the length thereof was fifty cubits, and the breadth thereof thirty cubits: and the porch was before them: and the other pillars and the thick beam were before them.

1Kings 7:7 Then he made a porch for the throne where he might judge, even the porch of judgment: and it was covered with cedar from one side of the floor to the other.

1Kings 7:8 And his house where he dwelt had another court within the porch, which was of the like work. Solomon made also an house for Pharaoh's daughter, whom he had taken to wife, like unto this porch.

1Kings 7:9 All these were of costly stones, according to the measures of hewed stones, sawed with saws, within and without, even from the foundation unto the coping, and so on the outside toward the great court.

1Kings 7:10 And the foundation was of costly stones, even great stones, stones of ten cubits, and stones of eight cubits.

1Kings 7:11 And above were costly stones, after the measures of hewed stones, and cedars.

1Kings 7:12 And the great court round about was with three rows of hewed stones, and a row of cedar beams, both for the inner court of the house of the LORD, and for the porch of the house.

1Kings 7:13 And king Solomon sent and fetched Hiram out of Tyre.

1Kings 7:14 He was a widow's son of the tribe of Naphtali, and his father was a man of Tyre, a worker in brass: and he was filled with wisdom, and understanding, and cunning to work all works in brass. And he came to king Solomon, and wrought all his work.

1Kings 7:15 For he cast two pillars of brass, of eighteen cubits high apiece: and a line of twelve cubits did compass either of them about.

1Kings 7:16 And he made two chapiters of molten brass, to set upon the tops of the pillars: the height of the one chapiter was five cubits, and the height of the other chapiter was five cubits:

1Kings 7:17 And nets of checker work, and wreaths of chain work, for the chapiters which were upon the top of the pillars; seven for the one chapiter, and seven for the other chapiter.

1Kings 7:18 And he made the pillars, and two rows round about upon the one network, to cover the chapiters that were upon the top, with pomegranates: and so did he for the other chapiter.

1Kings 7:19 And the chapiters that were upon the top of the pillars were of lily work in the porch, four cubits.

1Kings 7:20 And the chapiters upon the two pillars had pomegranates also above, over against the belly which was by the network: and the pomegranates were two hundred in rows round about upon the other chapiter.

1Kings 7:21 And he set up the pillars in the porch of the temple: and he set up the right pillar, and called the name thereof Jachin: and he set up the left pillar, and called the name thereof Boaz.

1Kings 7:22 And upon the top of the pillars was lily work: so was the work of the pillars finished.

1Kings 7:23 And he made a molten sea, ten cubits from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, and his height was five cubits: and a line of thirty cubits did compass it round about.

1Kings 7:24 And under the brim of it round about there were knops compassing it, ten in a cubit, compassing the sea round about: the knops were cast in two rows, when it was cast.

1Kings 7:25 It stood upon twelve oxen, three looking toward the north, and three looking toward the west, and three looking toward the south, and three looking toward the east: and the sea was set above upon them, and all their hinder parts were inward.

1Kings 7:26 And it was an hand breadth thick, and the brim thereof was wrought like the brim of a cup, with flowers of lilies: it contained two thousand baths.

1Kings 7:27 And he made ten bases of brass; four cubits was the length of one base, and four cubits the breadth thereof, and three cubits the height of it.

1Kings 7:28 And the work of the bases was on this manner: they had borders, and the borders were between the ledges:

1Kings 7:29 And on the borders that were between the ledges were lions, oxen, and cherubims: and upon the ledges there was a base above: and beneath the lions and oxen were certain additions made of thin work.

1Kings 7:30 And every base had four brasen wheels, and plates of brass: and the four corners thereof had undersetters: under the laver were undersetters molten, at the side of every addition.

1Kings 7:31 And the mouth of it within the chapiter and above was a cubit: but the mouth thereof was round after the work of the base, a cubit and an half: and also upon the mouth of it were gravings with their borders, foursquare, not round.

1Kings 7:32 And under the borders were four wheels; and the axletrees of the wheels were joined to the base: and the height of a wheel was a cubit and half a cubit.

1Kings 7:33 And the work of the wheels was like the work of a chariot wheel: their axletrees, and their naves, and their felloes, and their spokes, were all molten.

1Kings 7:34 And there were four undersetters to the four corners of one base: and the undersetters were of the very base itself.

1Kings 7:35 And in the top of the base was there a round compass of half a cubit high: and on the top of the base the ledges thereof and the borders thereof were of the same.

1Kings 7:36 For on the plates of the ledges thereof, and on the borders thereof, he graved cherubims, lions, and palm trees, according to the proportion of every one, and additions round about.

1Kings 7:37 After this manner he made the ten bases: all of them had one casting, one measure, and one size.

1Kings 7:38 Then made he ten lavers of brass: one laver contained forty baths: and every laver was four cubits: and upon every one of the ten bases one laver.

1Kings 7:39 And he put five bases on the right side of the house, and five on the left side of the house: and he set the sea on the right side of the house eastward over against the south.

1Kings 7:40 And Hiram made the lavers, and the shovels, and the basons. So Hiram made an end of doing all the work that he made king Solomon for the house of the LORD:

1Kings 7:41 The two pillars, and the two bowls of the chapiters that were on the top of the two pillars; and the two networks, to cover the two bowls of the chapiters which were upon the top of the pillars;

1Kings 7:42 And four hundred pomegranates for the two networks, even two rows of pomegranates for one network, to cover the two bowls of the chapiters that were upon the pillars;

1Kings 7:43 And the ten bases, and ten lavers on the bases;

1Kings 7:44 And one sea, and twelve oxen under the sea;

1Kings 7:45 And the pots, and the shovels, and the basons: and all these vessels, which Hiram made to king Solomon for the house of the LORD, were of bright brass.

1Kings 7:46 In the plain of Jordan did the king cast them, in the clay ground between Succoth and Zarthan.

1Kings 7:47 And Solomon left all the vessels unweighed, because they were exceeding many: neither was the weight of the brass found out.

1Kings 7:48 And Solomon made all the vessels that pertained unto the house of the LORD: the altar of gold, and the table of gold, whereupon the shewbread was,

1Kings 7:49 And the candlesticks of pure gold, five on the right side, and five on the left, before the oracle, with the flowers, and the lamps, and the tongs of gold,

1Kings 7:50 And the bowls, and the snuffers, and the basons, and the spoons, and the censers of pure gold; and the hinges of gold, both for the doors of the inner house, the most holy place, and for the doors of the house, to wit, of the temple.

1Kings 7:51 So was ended all the work that king Solomon made for the house of the LORD. And Solomon brought in the things which David his father had dedicated; even the silver, and the gold, and the vessels, did he put among the treasures of the house of the LORD.

 Zechariah 14:1 Behold, the day of the LORD cometh, and thy spoil shall be divided in the midst of thee.

Zechariah 14:2 For I will gather all nations against Jerusalem to battle; and the city shall be taken, and the houses rifled, and the women ravished; and half of the city shall go forth into captivity, and the residue of the people shall not be cut off from the city.

Zechariah 14:3 Then shall the LORD go forth, and fight against those nations, as when he fought in the day of battle.

Zechariah 14:4 And his feet shall stand in that day upon the mount of Olives, which is before Jerusalem on the east, and the mount of Olives shall cleave in the midst thereof toward the east and toward the west, and there shall be a very great valley; and half of the mountain shall remove toward the north, and half of it toward the south.

Zechariah 14:5 And ye shall flee to the valley of the mountains; for the valley of the mountains shall reach unto Azal: yea, ye shall flee, like as ye fled from before the earthquake in the days of Uzziah king of Judah: and the LORD my God shall come, and all the saints with thee.

Zechariah 14:6 And it shall come to pass in that day, that the light shall not be clear, nor dark:

Zechariah 14:7 But it shall be one day which shall be known to the LORD, not day, nor night: but it shall come to pass, that at evening time it shall be light.

Zechariah 14:8 And it shall be in that day, that living waters shall go out from Jerusalem; half of them toward the former sea, and half of them toward the hinder sea: in summer and in winter shall it be.

Zechariah 14:9 And the LORD shall be king over all the earth: in that day shall there be one LORD, and his name one.

Zechariah 14:10 All the land shall be turned as a plain from Geba to Rimmon south of Jerusalem: and it shall be lifted up, and inhabited in her place, from Benjamin's gate unto the place of the first gate, unto the corner gate, and from the tower of Hananeel unto the king's winepresses.

Zechariah 14:11 And men shall dwell in it, and there shall be no more utter destruction; but Jerusalem shall be safely inhabited.

Zechariah 14:12 And this shall be the plague wherewith the LORD will smite all the people that have fought against Jerusalem; Their flesh shall consume away while they stand upon their feet, and their eyes shall consume away in their holes, and their tongue shall consume away in their mouth.

Zechariah 14:13 And it shall come to pass in that day, that a great tumult from the LORD shall be among them; and they shall lay hold every one on the hand of his neighbour, and his hand shall rise up against the hand of his neighbour.

Zechariah 14:14 And Judah also shall fight at Jerusalem; and the wealth of all the heathen round about shall be gathered together, gold, and silver, and apparel, in great abundance.

Zechariah 14:15 And so shall be the plague of the horse, of the mule, of the camel, and of the ass, and of all the beasts that shall be in these tents, as this plague.

Zechariah 14:16 And it shall come to pass, that every one that is left of all the nations which came against Jerusalem shall even go up from year to year to worship the King, the LORD of hosts, and to keep the feast of tabernacles.

Zechariah 14:17 And it shall be, that whoso will not come up of all the families of the earth unto Jerusalem to worship the King, the LORD of hosts, even upon them shall be no rain.

Zechariah 14:18 And if the family of Egypt go not up, and come not, that have no rain; there shall be the plague, wherewith the LORD will smite the heathen that come not up to keep the feast of tabernacles.

Zechariah 14:19 This shall be the punishment of Egypt, and the punishment of all nations that come not up to keep the feast of tabernacles.

Zechariah 14:20 In that day shall there be upon the bells of the horses, HOLINESS UNTO THE LORD; and the pots in the LORD's house shall be like the bowls before the altar.

Zechariah 14:21 Yea, every pot in Jerusalem and in Judah shall be holiness unto the LORD of hosts: and all they that sacrifice shall come and take of them, and seethe therein: and in that day there shall be no more the Canaanite in the house of the LORD of hosts.

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