#maybe exposing my therapist to 30-50 minutes of me ugly crying would have been okay
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why do showers give me 10 minutes of galaxy brain and then it's right back to 1 braincell??
#anyway. shower epiphany.#maybe not talking to my therapists about things that i knew would have made me cry so hard i wouldn't have been able to speak and#thus would have been 'wasting precious therapy session time'#wasn't the Smart and Sensible decision i thought it was at the time#same goes for not talking about things i was afraid would make me look pathetic and stupid#maybe therapy wasn't supposed to be me trying very hard to show my therapist that i am Good at Mental Health or like.#being a really smart and easy patient??????#maybe exposing my therapist to 30-50 minutes of me ugly crying would have been okay#(olivia barton voice: and i didn't have to call myself ugly while i'm crying)#i think people were lying to me and there IS a wrong way to do therapy and in my desperate attempt at doing therapy Exactly Right and#getting the best grade and a gold star maybe i did it Wrong instead#whelp let me file that away for next year when my insurance is going to cover more therapy sessions
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