#maybe i’m a bitch for that but fr i got places to go pls move 😐

[saetoru]

tik tok is so weird bc one comment section will make me feel like i’m significantly kinder than a large chunk of ppl and then two videos down another comment section will make me feel like a cunt 😭

[cirnodoeshit]

{you there? stay awake for the next 10 minutes! please!}

©egglebeggle 2021

m.list

dont copy my work blah blah blah dont repost (different from reblogging) blah blah blaah

warning angst

reader has type 1 diabetes, they experience insulin shock.

please dont assume this as romanticizing diabetes

some use of mcyt writers on here and my followers (including previous writers) *wink* spelling errors are likely intended

obviously theres gonna be a part 2 im not that mean

𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙣'𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙖𝙩 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙩𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙖𝙜𝙚.

Of course, you were talking to chat, and answering questions.

snipedabitch: hey ive been hearing you in the background of georges stream you living with him yousucklmaooo2182: bruh {Y.N} you suck fr isimpfor{Y.N}: i heard u in the hallway with george and sap in stream yesterday nosey2832794: true true ^ qwqwqwqwqwq09310: you living with dream team?? TwistedCupcakes: YES {dreamxy.n}NOTNAP maluminumshines: YEAAAAAAAH illynilly: what if bro IM GONNA GET STARTED ON THAT

You shrugged.

snipedabitch donated 6.90! MA'AM ARE YOU LIVING WITH DREAM TEAM???????

"Oh, yeah! I forgot to mention that I moved in with them awhile ago." "That's why you heard me in the background."

egglebeggledidaoops: YOOOOOOO purpleypleasantries: YEAH WE GOT CONFIRMATION LETS GO hqqinnit: WOO milkedgeorgepink: HAHAHA yousucklmaooo2182: smh shes a bitch maluminumshines: shut up you 14 year old nosey2832794: yeah man skyleeeeesayshi: make the fanfictpn MAKE THE FANFICTSN!!!! arsenictime: HAH {Y.N} X DREAM MAY COME TRUE ho1land: BET BET BET BET BET dreamsimpss: WOOO DNF DNF DNF DNF illynilly: YEAAAAAAAAhhhhh TwistedCupcakes: am i the only one who ships {Y.N} and sapnap dreamsimpss: NOPE TwistedCupcakes: ma'am add me pls cupcake#.... dreamsimpss: dreamy#.... snipedabitch: YEAH iliketeajellywithstrawberries: SOMEONE CLIP ghostieee3728: TWITTER IS GOING FERAL YALL TWITTER IS GOING FERAL

You laughed as that was only a fraction of the chat. "Maybe DNF will come true. I personally ship it."

nosey2832794: EVEN {Y.N} SHIPS IT TwistedCupcakes: YES CONFIRMATION FROM THE QUEEN dreamsimpss: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO purpleypleasantries: LETS FUCKING GO MAN egglebeggledidaoops: im gonna cry YES MAN YI

"Well, how about we go on to the SMP? I heard Alyssa asked Dream to get the IP." You wiped some sweat from your forehead. Something was clearly wrong.

You decided against your own better judgement to ignore it.

"Anyways," you anxiously laughed. "Should we visit Alyssa?"

ssbitchass: YES

"Alright then.. wait. Where am I going?"

egglebeggledidaoops: dont you remember? alyssa's house lool

"Ah. Sorry.." You laughed. You shifted your character towards the direction of her house.

"Hey {Y.N}!" "H-hey!" "Lord, it's been forever. Has Callahan moved to another location?" "Haha.. same place Alyssa.."

Alyssa didn't seem to notice her stuttering.

"Well, come on!" She said, running off towards a nearby river. "Yeah.." You felt your hand starting to shake.

Of course, chat noticed this.

iliketeajellywithstrawberries: ayo fam you alright? 3472anonn2837: seriously you've been stutterig and on ur handcam is shaking ssbitchass: mhm egglebeggledidaoops: you alright?

"Yeah.. I'm fine."

Sapnap donated 5.99! bro {Y.N} do you need george or me in there

"..I already said I was fine.." You started to speak in a softer tone.

"ANYWAYS! Alyssa might be waiting for me." You laughed, shifting your character towards the direction she ran in.

Ranboo joined the game. <WilburSoot> : fuck off <{Y.N}> : hi ranboo!! <Ranboo> : k Ranboo left the game.

"Well, that was very rude of Ghostbur." You heard Callahan snickering from the back of the room.

"So Alyssa, how've ya been?" "Well, I took a long break.." Her words started to fade away from your mind.

You weren't snapped from your trance until a donation popped up.

IAMSTUPID2323988 donated 1.98! hi you've been staring at your mouse for the last 5 minutes and im wondering if your okay?

A loud thud was all that person got for an answer.

egglebeggledidaoops: DID ANYONE HEAR THAT iliketeajellywithstrawberries: YO WHAT Sapnap: {Y.N} ARE YOU ALRIGHT ssbitchass: SAPNAP!???

"..So then I told him to get the fuck out. Anyways, {Y.N}, how are y-" Alyssa was cut off.

You were cut from the vc, a frantic George ended the stream. "{Y.N}." He looked at you, you only stared back with hazy eyes. Sapnap dialed 911. "You there? Stay awake for the next 10 minutes! Please!" This was the last thing you heard before passing out completely.

[yikeswtfmate]

(1) New Message from Unknown Number

main masterlist // (1) New Message Masterlist // next part

Summary: Y/N is drunk and can’t remember her ex’s number.

A/N: Hello, it is I, the idiot who writes Social Media AUs when she’s drunk but is too lazy to put them in the proper format and just leaves them to die somewhere on her laptop

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Social Media AU - that’s a lie, it’s actually just texts in Word format 🤡)

Warnings: swearing, dumbassery

Unknown Number: Hey asshat so listen

Unknown Number: I kno we hvnt spoken since like

Unknown Number: High school but whateve idc

Unknown Number: U’re an asshle so I dnt even care that its like…

Unknown Number: 3 in the morning nvrmd

Unknown Number: Ive ben dared to txt my hottest ex by these evil witchS so

Unknown Number: Here u go

Unknown Number: At least u had decent abs so congrats on tht jfc

Unknown Number:  also u dnt get to complain abt this txt bc like

Unknown Number: u dated me for 6 months on a dare so U KNOW WHat this shuold feel like ya

Unknown Number: Wow dude that sounds like a dick move

Unknown Number: Seriously who the hell dates someone for 6 months on a dare?

Unknown Number: Doesn’t that only happen in movies though?

Unknown Number: hey bitchass dont act like u don’t kno what im talkinG abt

Unknown Number: Oh shit yeah, sorry. I don’t know who this asshole of an ex is but I sure as hell am not him

Unknown Number: Dude sounds like a complete waste of human space

Unknown Number: And I think I wouldn’t get to live it down if my friends would hear I did something that shitty

Unknown Number: Wait lemme ask Sam

Unknown Number: Nah, he says Steve would’ve beaten my ass if I were to do that so there u go

Unknown Number: m sorry who tf are u

Unknown Number: Bucky

Unknown Number: what kind of stupid name is bucky

Unknown Number: Shit man, u’re the one blowing up my phone at 3 in the morning, sending me weird ass messages when I don’t even know u and u dare say my name is stupid???

Unknown Number: Sheit srry

Unknown Number: Is been A long night

Unknown Number: nd week

Unknown Number: Actlly make thAt the whle entire fuckin month

Girl with asshole ex: Srry fr bothering u

Unknown Number: It‘s cool

Girl with asshole ex: Hey the witches ask if ure hot

Bonky: Yeah

Girl with asshole ex: WHAT THE FCK MAN AT LEST BE A LIL BIT HUMBLE SMH

Bonky: U wanted me to lie?

Girl with asshole ex: Fair point

Girl with asshole ex: They wnt a pic

Girl with asshole ex: Pic or it didn’t happen punk

Girl with asshole ex: Tht was nat

Bonky: What kind of party are u at that you can constantly text me?

Girl with asshole ex: Wanda’s place

Girl with asshole ex: Girls night

Girl with asshole ex: Getting hammered on wine BITCH

Girl with asshole ex: Also dnt change the subject

Bonky: I don’t even know your name

Girl with asshole ex: Why would I tell u my name I just want to see a suppsdly hot asssd

Bonky: You know mine and now you want me to send u a pic of me

Bonky: Bit of a disadvantage here babe

Girl with asshole ex: Babe?

Girl with asshole ex: BABE?

Girl with asshole ex: Fine

Girl with asshole ex: BABE if I tell u my name will u send a pic of u so we kno u arnt a 60yr old perv

Bonky: I’ll think about it

Girl with asshole ex: Hey fuck u

Girl with asshole ex: Not fair

Bonky: How do I know you’re not the 60yr old perv?

Girl with asshole ex: Cuz she got big tiddies to prove

Girl with asshole ex: And that was wanda

Girl with asshole ex: So now u know my fridsn

Bonky: Still don’t know your name tho babe

Bonky: Also tell Wanda she shouldn’t give out this type of info to strangers

Girl with asshole ex: ure not a stranger anymore bonky

Girl with asshole ex: ure my babe nao

Bonky: I’m going to let that Bonky slide just bc u’re cute

Bonky: But I’m also going to stop replying until you tell me your name

Girl with asshole ex: U think im cute?

Girl with asshole ex: 

Girl with asshole ex: I mean u havnt even seen me but thats fair

Girl with asshole ex: Wand and nat say its true so ill believe u rnt lying to me rn

Girl with asshole ex: But I wanna see if ure cute

Girl with asshole ex: Wait why r u up st 3 in the mrng I mean we re drunk but wht r u doing

Girl with asshole ex: Babe u need to take better care of urself

Girl with asshole ex: Babe

Girl with asshole ex: Babe?

Girl with asshole ex: BABE?

Girl with asshole ex: Ph shit ure actually ignoring me

Girl with asshole ex: I dont like this

Girl with asshole ex: I actually like talking to u

Girl with asshole ex: Pls stop ignoring me

Girl with asshole ex: COME BACK AND LOBE ME

Girl with asshole ex: Babe?

Girl with asshole ex: Fine

Girl with asshole ex: It’s Y/N

Bonky: Now, that wasn’t so hard was it? 

Babe: fcuk u

Bonky: I’m up at 3 bc we ordered pizza and decided it’s time to beat Sam’s ass in Mario Kart once and for all

Babe: Nd how’s that going for ya?

Bonky: Bitch has been beating us for the past 3 hours

Bonky: Thor is the only one getting at least close to him now so we’re about to give up

Babe: Wait shit how r u replying so fast if ure playing Mario kart tho

Bonky: I gave up two hours ago

Babe: Quitter

Bonky: Just gotta know which fights to pick babe

Babe: Heads up I might be fallin asleep soon

Bonky: Drink some water before that, maybe get some food in u as well to soak up all the alcohol and have an advil close for tomorrow

Babe: Ok MOM

Bonky: Hey Wanda willingly told me you have “big tiddies” so your friends don’t seem to be doing a good job of taking care of you

Bonky: Might as well let me do it so you don’t die tmrw

Babe: Ohhhh so u careeeee babe im touched

Babe: Kkkkkk Ill talk tu u tmrw ill be dead soon

Babe: Nd I do have big tiddies

Bonky: Good night babe

*

Babe: What the shit

Bonky: I see you survived

Babe: Barely

Babe: My head might explode soon and I feel like I’ve vomited for an entire lifetime

Babe: TMI sorry

Bonky: I’d like to point out I’m glad I don’t have to decipher your texts anymore and that you can actually spell properly

Babe: Fuck you Buckaroo

Bonky: I would also like to remind you that I have on good authority that you have “big tiddies” so don’t make me use that against you

Babe: I am going to kill Wanda

Babe:Ugh I need coffee

Babe: I’ll talk to you later

Bonky: I’ll be waiting for you babe

*

Babe: So

Babe: BABE

Bonky: Yes baby?

Babe: 

Bonky: Nah, you love it

Babe: Fine

Babe: You still haven’t sent a pic of you though. I might be able to rise Nat and Wanda from the dead if you do

Bonky: What do I get in return?

Babe: The promise that I will keep replying even though you might turn out to be an ugly orc?

Bonky: Not enough

Babe: Fine. I’ll keep talking to you until you want me to stop. Or until I get bored of you

Bonky: Eh, you can do better

Babe: What do you WANT?

Bonky: A pic of you in return

Babe: I’m not sending you nudes, perv

Bonky: If I wanted to see you naked and be a dick about it, I could’ve asked last night, don’t worry

Bonky: But if you’ll know how I look it’s only fair I should know how you look

Babe: That sounds reasonable

Bonky: I’d say it’s a fair exchange

Babe: Fine, you first then

Bonky: If you don’t send me a pic of you afterwards babe I will stop replying, just so you know

Bonky:

Babe: Did you type super hot guy with the most beautiful eyes in the world in Google or something?

Bonky: I’m touched but no. Sam took that photo at a work event

Babe: Bitch do you really expect me to believe this is you? That looks like a guy who just stepped out of a magazine, I highly doubt I would have the luck to text him instead of my ex when drunk

Bonky:

Bonky: Are you always this annoying?

Babe: …

Bonky: What? Do you want me to take a selfie with the fucking newspaper now? I read the news online babe, I’m not getting off of this couch just so I can buy a stupid newspaper to prove it’s me

Babe: Do you have one in a suit?

Bonky: …why am I putting up with this?

Bonky: Hold on

Bonky:

Bonky: It’s been 5 minutes, are you going to reply?

Bonky: You still have to send me a picture of you though, a deal is a deal you know

Bonky: Fine, I warned you

Babe: Shit sorry

Babe: Hi Bucky, this is Natasha

Bonky: Hi Natasha. Is Y/N alright?

Babe: Uhm how should I put this?

Babe: Y/N is crying right now and she can’t reply herself

Bonky: What? What happened? Is she okay?

Babe: Oh yeah

Babe: She’s just crying because (and I’m quoting here) you’re “so beautiful, it’s like all my wet dreams and fantasies have come together. I swear this is some cosmic joke, this is not happening”

Babe: I’m not sure if she’s laughing or crying now

Babe: But she keeps yelling at me that I have to send you the most perfect picture of herself that has ever existed or you will stop talking to her

Babe: I think she started crying again because “I will never live up to that level of perfection, he told me that I have to know which fights to pick”

Babe: Uh yeah so here

Babe: 1 Photo Attached

Bonky: Hey Nat, could you tell Y/N that I would like to talk to her now?

Babe: Sure

Babe: Hey

Bonky: Baby?

Babe: Yeah?

Bonky: You picked the wrong fight if you think “you will never live up to this level of perfection”

Babe: Oh God

Bonky: Stop being an idiot

Bonky: And listen to me

Bonky: I would really like to keep talking to you. Mainly because you’re an idiot who makes me laugh, but it’s also the fact that you are the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen in my entire life

Babe:

[wctkins]

ok yall ive never made a sideblog before so this may go rough but ! u kno what 2019 is about us facing our fears ok. in other news this is my new Child callia ( um hi i’m cali ty’s mun if u didnt know ) . i was gonna write out a whole gr8 intro but honestly got lazy lmfao whats new ?? under the cut is the usual, wanted plots and stats and whateva ok xoxo

BASICS !

name:  callia ( beautiful voice ) bianca ( after her mother ) donatella ( after donatella versace ) watkins ( welsh surname ) nicknames: calli, cal age: twenty three birthday: november 3 1995  zodiac: scorpio hometown: melbourne, australia occupation:  head engineer at a green tech company  hobbies: working out, partying, watching jeopardy, drawing, reading, trying new foods, going for walks in central park family: emil watkins ( iron ore mining magnate ) , bianca watkins ( socialite )  style inspo: kendall jenner, elsa hosk, rachel green, 90′s drew barrymore, bella hadid muse inspo: donna pinciotti, monica geller, tai frasier, mylene cruz, fallon carrington ( career wise )

HISTORY !

ok so if yall haven’t seen the show yummy mummies on netflix gd thats my new addiction / guilty pleasure o shit that show’s hilarious. callia’s family is fully based on carlos and maria ( maria’s this random selfish bitch who’s obsESSED w versace and herself like go watch fr ) so callia grew up wearing only designer, mostly versace and burberry clothing. she didnt rly care when she was a small child but as she started growing up she started like ?? getting shit on by her other for being a regular child & wanting to play when her mom just wanted her to be decor essentially

had a pretty lonely childhood tbh spent most her time with her terror of a mother bc she wasn’t rly allowed to go hang out w other kids & was never involved in school activities. like essentially she only went to whatever prissy academy so her mom could show off her new car or her daughter’s outfits & brag to other moms lmfao

tbh didn’t give a shit about the brands and labels despite their house being covered in head to toe versace everythING she was more interested in sports and actuaL hobbies ?? so she wanted to play sports but wasn’t allowed bc goD FORBID she get a bruise or smth on her perfect skin. so she just started working out on her own in their home gym and found it was a rly good escape from her fam

another method of escape her mother’s grip was by delving into her studies. she was always top of her class and worked so dang hard ( but like also could afford the best tutors and education lmfao) so sis basically could get accepted wherever she wanted to go for post secondary

eventually she was able to convince her parents to let her study abroad for a year in nyc going to stay w her cousin #jessegrove where she was ! finally ! able to escape the clutches of her awful mother and her pushover disconnected father. she told her mother she was going to use the year as research for a career in modeling or fashion or smth bc she knew it’d cater to her moms interests but rly she just needed to get tf out of melbourne and live a normal life

she’s lived in nyc ever since ( since she was 18 - she’s 23 now ) and wanted nothing to do with the expensive brand names she’d grown to despise. so she found herself a condo ( def spent millions on it bc god forbid bianca watkins’ daughter living in anything under 5mil) but didn’t want it to be anything crazy bc she was so over that lifestyle so its def luxurious but very basic and minimal compared to what she grew up with

got into columbia’s earth and environmental engineering program bc she figured she ought to do something good with her smarts and her parent’s money so she went to school to get a degree & got a sweet job at a green tech company where she basically gets to do whatever tf she wants bc she’s the head engineer & makes fat stacks 

PERSONALITY !

during the week goOD luck convincing cal to leave the office like she basically lives there but she loves it ??? or shes at home doing facemasks and binging on reality tv like weekday vs weekend shes a completely diff person

weekends like......u better watch out. having grown up so isolated and sheltered callia has come to LOVE the nyc nightlife scene like she will get blackout one night and be ready to get drunk at brunch the next. shes not usually the life of the party moreso bc she enjoys just being a shit disturber and finds it fun lmfao

experiences maJOR fomo

she rly tries to be nice to everyone stemming from a deep need to have friends and be liked lmfao and is overall v approachable and friendly

can come across as fake tho bc she tries to be so nice she won’t disagree w people unelss they’re waY off from her own ideas

is v politically engaged & cares alot abt the environment so she’s vegan, walks most places, will 10/10 give a ted talk if anyone asks more deeply abt her job

honestly she wears mostly like simple clothing. like she just buys what she likes, whether its at h&m or at prada she has a distaste for exclusively brand wardrobes. def mostly walks around in high top converse and levi’s jeans 

WANTED PLOTS !

roommates ! the apartment linked above has 4 bedrooms so i’d loVE for 3 lil old roomates :’) 

hook ups / fwbs ! all that pent up stress has to come out somewhere lmfao shes tryna get laid at every turn so imma need a bunch of hook up plots ok no specific gender ( unlimited )

best friend ! the mary kate to her ashley, this person understands her inside and out & tbh knows her better than she knows herself. def knows about her crazy mother & can put up w the rants ( open )

friends from college ! they prob have wild stories abt college parties & have seen one anohter at their worst. preferably someone who went to columbia also ( open )

mutual dislike ! they think callia’s annoying and preachy, she thinks they’re rude and devil’s spawn bc they’re not as passionate abt environmental issues ( open )

exes ( she ghosted on them ) ! pls ok pls i need many !!!! cal’s so willing to adapt her personality to fit w whoever she’s with so she prob would be rly lovey dovey and make it seem like they were perfect for each other and meant to be but she low key lied abt everything, her family, her background, her feelings for them, etc. she prob thought they were ok but wasn’t rly into them besides for sex. so eventually she just got so invested in her work she ghosted on them ! i imagine them dating for a while too like maybe a year & they never met her family or rly got to know her bc she was hella guarded ( open ! )

exes ( on good terms ) ! they dated when she was new to nyc - she was like oooh an american they were like ooh an australian & tbh their sex life was gr8 but they didn’t rly have much going except for that so they called it off. they’re still friends & sometimes laugh abt the relationship ( open ! )

current fling ! they’re hanging out , might be moving towards exclusivity but aren’t there yet, its casual ( open ! ) 

sibling like relationship ! she never had siblings so she always felt like that aspect was missing from her life. she prob treats them like a sibling, asking if they’ve eaten and keeping up to date on their life. she cares alot & has good intentions but can sometimes be seen as over protective and pushy ( open ! )

ok yall im tired of writing this shit props to yall who do like literal essays, bullet points are even too much for me. LIKE THIS n ill slide into yo dms ok thanks for coming to my ted talk

[yfczangel777]

just to vent into the void here; 

on the previous post about ppl being offput by a fave if mine...I love this character soso much and like also we are a shit ton alike... like I hardcore self project onto him and GET him cuz our personality and frequently our way of speaking and our handling mental illness is spot on the same. Hasnt always been the nicest or healthiest for either of us but being able to fix and reconcile and learn to handle it better through loving action w him made me happy for him and also had a certain level of self comfort because we basically the same bitch lol. And people were saying how they didnt like when he got into his dark place for a bit and it was 'uncomfy' or threw them off the character as a whole or made him 'problematic' or smth and I'm just here like "um ouch :*) " cuz thats me bitch lol and also like that image of the lady holding the grown man and telling ppl off for that character

And like not to make excuses for either of us but like I dont think he was problematic? Maybe cuz I understand on a personal level? Like he did some things that weren't very kind when he was hurting but they weren't that bad and he did it out of what he felt was necessity and apologized later??

And fr like that wasnt even so bad. He self isolated and told the player "Idc if it hurts your feelings, I cant be close with you" and to stop having feelings for him cuz he wasnt worth it. Like?????

And like once during a literal time crunch life or death situation while also in the heat of his darkest place and having had a lot of fuked up shit revealed to him he purposefully broke a little robot that wouldn't be quiet and that was his own property at the time... not the players... because he hadnt given it to the player yet (later he fixes it and gives it as a gift)

He kept tabs on where you were and got worried if he didnt see you because a man had literally just crashed through your window and tried to abduct you and would have succeeded if he hadnt gotten there just in time. And it was clear that none of this was over and theres a target on your back still. He wasn't being controlling or unreasonable he was trying to keep you safe from very real danger.

Yes he told you off for a bit once meeting face to face. Yes he told you your feelings toward him were wrong and he was going to keep blocking you out so stop trying and just move on with your life and forget him. And if you didnt your feelings would be hurt and that's your own fault cuz he told you to back off.

That wasnt nice if him but it was preserving his own vulnerable heart and also your safety. This character is not your average dude. His lifestyle is literally ACTUALLY deadly dangerous. Hes taught time and again he isnt allowed to have friends ir family let alone a lover. He eludes to the fact that they HAVE forced him to uproot everything and drop everyone and change his whole identity more than once. And due to his field of work people who are close to him can be used against him and are in literal life threatening danger by association. The chatroom was supposed to be arms distance enough but he got attached to everyone there anyways. And then you came and he fell for you hard. It wasnt ever supposed to happen that way so he went all weird and denied it out of panic and nessecity... once you were in danger he cared for you so he had to go help you and you met face to face which was WAY more than he ever intended to happen and also exposed him way more to catching deeper and deeper feelings. But here he was desperately trying to do damage control because he knows that people dear to him get hurt or killed. And he loves you.. so as much as it hurts he has to try to keep you away to keep you SAFE

All of this is literal... like not just that he thinks hes a bad person and will hurt you.... like literally you are in real physical danger from being associated with him. And this is evidenced and proved throughout the story. And he blames himself for ever even letting you interact with them but like... the poor boy is human jesus christ he needs connection he needs love. It's a mistake he beats himself up over. And so he tries to damage control and get you to move on and forget about him. It kills him the whole time and its evidenced the whole time that he hates having to do this.

And the whole time the worst he tells you is he doesn't care if you get a hurt heart because you wont leave him alone when he tells you to. (Spoiler alert.. that's a lie! He cares a lot but you need to be safe from involvement in his dangerous life)

And the whole time I noticed its actually even an EXCESSIVE thing he does(it's a nice thing tho) that he does nothing but call you a good and wonderful person who deserves happiness and that needs to be safe and keep living because you are so good and so bright and so kind

But him and his life will never allow your safety, so you cant be with him for your protection.

He never stops with how nice you are... how good you are... how much you need to be in this world and be safe because you add light to the world.

Even when hes being cold.. even when hes telling you off

It's always centered around this.

As well as that hes "a dangerous guy" and 'cant keep anything or anyone close'

Putting himself down and lamenting who and what he is.

The breakthrough comes when you finally see the extent of him and the struggles and danger he faces and still wear him down and tell him unwaveringly that: ok you see and understand the danger fully now and you dont care and you want to stick by him even if its dangerous because you love him. And that he doesnt have to go through life alone anymore cuz you'll be there for him no matter what.

And you have to wrestle away from him the notion of 'no I cant let her do this because I love her and want her to be able to live and be safe. It hurts being alone and id love to be able to be with her but I cant cuz if anything happened to her I'd never forgive myself and also she's so great she deserves a normal life where she doesn't have to worry.'

And you have to lovingly assert to him that he can think of himself too... that he doent have to go through life alone because you know the risks and you decided you want to be with him anyways because you love him. That you understand he wants you safe but that was your decision to make and you choose him no matter the dangers... that you will help him and go through it together as a team.

And he struggles because all his life he had to be the action taker, decision maker, and the protector (especially with his brother in childhood) but slowly comes around to the fact that you will be partners... shouldering the burden together while enriching each others lives. That he doesnt have to be the solitary protector of things and people he has come to love despite not having been supposed to in the first place... cuz hes HUMAN. That someone else has seen his situation and his soul laid bare and still said I love you and I'm going to stand with you through this. And learn to let go and let them in and let them share his burden despite being so afraid of doing so and afraid of what could happen to them as a result. Accepting that they made their decision and its theirs to make. And dealing with the fear as well as the relief and strange joy of FINALLY having someone in his life to love and be loved by and to go through things //together//

Like I just dont get how ppl can like tsunderes and even yanderes but then this character is like "pls no ppl get hurt with me and I care for you so you gotta stay away from me for your own good" and they're like... butthurt that he wasn't all peppy and sweet like usual because his life and everything he held dear was legit crumbling around him??? That someone with his past and his current job/living situation took a bit before he could open up and spill his guts to them??? At a job where.. to quote the game itself 'even an offhanded joke can get you killed' ??? Like yall are entitled to your opinions... and thank god this character is fictional or else that would be hella f-ed up of yall but... oof.

[survivormuxloe]

Episode 15: “i didnt control this game 4 a goat to win” - Scott

So the reward challenge has been revealed. A little bit nervous tbh. However I do have a plan, I’d probably call Danielle. Because I feel she would have the best read on how the jury is feeling. She has sat there for the longest time. So her views are most likely the views of most people. So having her knowledge of the jury will be useful. First I have to win this challenge which I think I’m capable of winning, so fingers crossed I can win this.

THE CAT IS FINALLY OUT OF THE BAG HOLYYY LMAAAOOAO

i finally got to play it.. it didnt do anything. but. it secured me f4 just incase anything did happen!! LAMJFNFHBG. ugh. i love it tho... everyone takes me to the end i think which makes me lowkey queef LMAOAOAOOA :):)

hope yall r proud of meeeee :flushed:

I MADE FINAL 4. I’m so shocked and happy with myself. I broke my personal placement record and it’s so exciting. Unfortunately though I get to move past a milestone at the expense of losing a close ally. I got past eighth but Jones got eliminated. I get past my record but then Tobi gets idoled out. I’m so depressed but it just makes me want to win for them. I’m hearing that it’s a final 2 but it isn’t confirmed. So now I’m thinking who do I want to be sitting in a final 2 with. None of them honestly, they’ve all played great games. But I especially don’t want to sit next to Ryan. He’s done so well in this game and he made a succesful idol play. It would look like if a genius hacker were to sit next to an enthusiastic toddler.

It sucks cus nobody’s said anything since the vote and I really wanna talk to someone because bitch I’m in the top 4 let’s celebrate. I see Tobi online and its like fuCK I CANT CELEBRATE WITH HIM EITHER CUS HES GONE NOW.

its so hard telling eveeryone that im winning

we have a reward challenge on day 36 so i think that means we have a final 3 yayyyy whew. and the reward is the power call w one juror for 10 mins... which makes me kinda anxious ngl so i'm not even sure if i want to win this... but the challenge is Casanova and that is like one the flash games i'm really good at if i need to be so hmmm I'm wondering if i should beast it or not. i think winning it and having the courage to talk to one of them could be a big boost to my game so like... i'm thinking maybe i should just nut up and go for it hm

So I won reward fuck yeah.

This will give me the chance too see how the jury is thinking at the moment.

But with this immunity I am fuckin scared. Cards being stacked into tower formation. Honestly fuck that. I’ve been practicing and am getting there but I need to do this to make sure I have a chance of winning.

it feels so weird bc theres so little to say in confessionals now LOL!

uhm. just hopin for mo not to win ig. :)

So just had a call win Dani. Apparently I have close to 0% chance at winning. Which tbh I’m surprised about. Mo has the best chance? Idk like I want to believe her but it sounds fishy. I just need to feel out and go with Dani it trust my gut.

Rhys won his third immunity which is intimidating but then again he was only participating against me. Reminder I was trying to set up a card house with a tremor, due to my meds my hands shake. BUT I refused to give up and I’m still proud of myself because I know I did the best that I could.

I think this might be the round I’m eliminated. I hope not but apparently Rhys used his Jury call on Dani and Dani said he had the lowest chance of winning and I had the highest chance. Which first of all, REALLY???? ME???? Like thank you but, what? Second of all I need to play very passive right now in hopes that Rhys will stick with his original plan of voting Scott. Tomorrow it’s going to be me or Scott.

i feel bad for abstaining in the final 4 immunity but hnnng i really cant fux with these live challenges so rip. i feel like there's a good chance the jury looks down on my game bc this is like the 3rd challenge i've sat out of hnnng. but i'm glad Rhys won instead of Mo woo for that. it's seeming like it's gonna be a final 2 after all so womp. according to Mo, Rhys says he's voting for either him or Scott so ig I'm sitting in a good spot... although is it bad i was hoping to get another vote to rack up more than 11 overall? lol whatever so yay. i don't have high hopes of winning this game but regardless i'm happy i was able to survive all this time especially w my bae scott <3

Ok so I have a lot of hope right now. I’ll share the messages I sent Rhys because they’ll explain why I’m hopeful. “I just got some info This vote is either going to end in a fire making challenge between Scott and I or with me going home Cus Ryan just said him and Scott have had a tight Final 2 since the beginning so he can’t vote Scott (If you don’t believe me I’m sure he’ll tell you himself if you ask) So I respect your decision of voting for me if you do but I’d be insanely grateful if I was given the opportunity of a fire making challenge I see it like this. If I get to stay, then it’s us two vs Ryan or Scott because I think both Ryan and Scott have played insanely good games So we would have a higher chance of winning immunity But if it’s Scott, Ryan and you in the final three then it’s 1/3 odds. Where as if I stayed it would be 2/3 and if I somehow miraculously won individual immunity I’d take you to the end. It would be the smartest decision for me after hearing what Dani said But then if you win you can take Ryan with you to the end and I’ll end up 3rd Since Ryan and Scott have their final 2 thing” and Rhys agreed to it so tomorrow is going to be a firemaking challenge between me and Scott.

rhys is actually driving me fucking crazy lol... like. its right to vote me out yes. but his reasoning is so FUCKING DUMB. HE GENIUNELY HAS CONVINCED HIMSELF THAT THE JUROR HE CHOSE TO TALK TO LIED TO HIM. LIKE. RLY BITCH? im not getting 4th off of the back of ur fucking goaty ass losing to mo @ ftc ew lmao..

actually ya im not done like rhys is geniunely losing against anyone left for good reason hes been a goat this entire game and thats the entire fucking tea LAMJFBHFG.

i just dont want mo to win... imagine someone who voted wrong like 7/9 times in merge winning. fucking ew. if i leave ryan better win ftc bc hes the only good winner left if i leave like fr. i didnt control this game 4 a goat to win.. LAMNFNFG just ew ew ew ew ew ew..

im not going down tho america... ill pull every trick out of the bag if i have to. if i gotta lie to get a 2-1-1 vote i will. i aint bothered. id rather get 3rd knowing i was gunna win than fucking 4th. i aint knife!!

So like i Won immunity again which is insane. 3rd immunity.

I’ve been thinking about my call with Dani. I realised that if she telling the truth I have no chance. So might as well assume she is lying and have a chance. So I’m being optimistic.

So taking Scott out is my best choice right now. He may have bad jury management but he had played the best game. So I’m voting with Mo against Scott. Realistically Scott is probably going to win. But that gives me a possible vote on the jury.

I told scott that I’m Voting him as there isn’t any point in lying but he is working to stay. But like he needs to go. I can’t fuck up and have him win immunity. So yeah my game could be a shit show it could be nothing I don’t know. Wish me luck I guess.

I’m like legit so sad rn. I know I’ve had literally no chance at winning this game. So I’ve been optimistic trying to take the best road. Which in my mind is voting Scott out. I told him because he like legit my best friend I’ve made in this game and In a lot of games recently.

Now he hates me and has been really aggressive with trying to get me to stay.  Like I’ve told him my reasoning and he just still thinks I’m being stupid. Like yeah I just hate this. Can’t wait for tribal for him to attack me more.

Rhys gettin a lil brave this round after being asleep the whole merge omg. Whatever he heard from Danielle has seriously gone to his head and he's now considering going to the end with Mo ???? i have to laugh... i dont think him tying the vote and making me or Scott firemake is a terrible idea at all, but honey pls dont make me have to vote Mo to win this game flkadsas. It will be such a travesty if Scott and I go out 4th and 3rd god i dont even wanna think about that

god I really didn't expect this jury reward thing to have an actual impact on things??? ugh lol. Rhys a mess PERIODTTTTTT

After a 2-2 vote resulting in a firemaking challenge, Mo loses and gets 4th place.