#maybe if you had a cool ass wolf like all of your kids you wouldnt be rotting in prison rn

[doobydoobydoowau]

fave thing to watch out for in each episode is the classic stark "wolf-attack!"-to-assert-my-dominance maneuver.

[tomakeitbeautifultolive]

Ok two months to go lets hear it: Who lives and who dies?

My death list is actually kind of short, but (probably) controversial:

The Mountain

Beric Dondarrion

Melisandre

Varys

Viserion

Cersei Lannister

Jaime Lannister

Jorah Mormont

Euron Greyjoy

Theon Greyjoy

The Night King

Sansa Stark

Jon Snow*

(*but he will be resurrected)

You’ll notice one very big name - perhaps the biggest - happens to be absent from my list. I’m not so sure I believe the leaks. *shrug*

My explanations and reasoning under the cut.

The Mountain

Of course, The Mountain is already dead, so this feels little redundant. I don’t think Cleganebowl is happening. The Mountain isn’t the same person Sandor had beef with, and Sandor isn’t the same person he once was. *shrug* I’m personally rooting for the Arya-takes-down-the-Mountain theory.

Varys

There’s a good chance that Melisandre is wrong about Varys’ death (like she’s wrong about well, almost everything):

“I have to die in this strange country, just like you.”

But we pair that with the line from Daenerys:

“If you ever betray me, I’ll burn you alive” 

…and it seems to seal his fate (I don’t buy for a second he’s got allegiance to anyone but himself). Of course, there’s a chance it could be a line foreshadowing someone else’s death that’s been ‘leaked’. We’ll see!

Viserion

I could argue that Viserion is already dead… but since “(The Night King)’s done the same thing to Viserion that he did with Craster’s sons,” I assume he’s a dragon version of an other. That’s probably not too important, anyway.

I think Viserion will be taken down by Drogon, mirroring Viserys and Drogo *shrug* I love my parallels, don’t I?

Cersei Lannister

When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. Eh, eh?

For as much as everyone cries “cliche!” about Jaime being the valonqar, imagine if all that foreshadowing was traded in for some shock value, and someone like Sansa does it. *shudders* Nah, man. I want Jaime to mirror himself - the Kingslayer/Queenslayer who took down both mad monarchs threatening to ignite King’s Landing in green flames - finally getting recognized for his act of heroism. That’s much more satisfying than a quick shock that has no buildup. But I suppose, there is a pretty good chance the valonqar is Euron.

(Though I do admit - I would actually love for Cersei Lannister to make it out of this alive, somehow)

Jaime Lannister

“I cannot die while Cersei lives. We will die together as we were born together.”

Both twins have weird lines like this. So, it’s fair to assume if one dies, they both die. And if one lives, they both live. So if Cersei is brought down, Jaime will be, too. How do I see it happening? Perhaps by one last (poisonous) kiss - wherein Brienne comes in to cradle him as the life drains from his body? I dunno. But after all, he wants to die in the arms of the woman he loves, and for better or worse - that’s Brienne.

Jorah Mormont

It’s been long speculated that in season 8, we’ll be seeing a ‘beloved’ character turn into a wight - and I think the best candidate is Jorah Mormont (keep in mind we’re talking show Jorah, who is leagues better than book Jorah).

Admittedly, I do notoriously give D&D more credit than like, anyone else around here. That said - I’m not sure the polar bear thing was entirely for “coolness” factor, like they claim. The moment I heard this line, followed by Jorah looming eerily over Beric…

I thought for sure we’d see this paid off in the very same episode. To me, it just seems wildly out of place and a waste of dialogue. I hope it’s some clever foreshadowing that we’re going to see a dead 'Bear’ of Bear Isle biting someone next season.

Of course, there is always a chance that the greyscale might play some sort of role in preventing Jorah from turning… I guess we’ll see!

Lastly, I’ve always been intrigued by Jon holding a Mormont shield during the BotB - I have a tendency to read too much into everything, I admit - but wouldn’t it be great if Jorah died saving Jon’s hide?

Euron Greyjoy & Theon Greyjoy

For as formidable as book Euron may be - I don’t see him living. This series just isn’t about evil prevailing. What I think he will do, however, is attack Jon and/or Daenerys at sea, perhaps as they try to flee the north. I’m one of those annoying people who thinks very few lines of dialogue are wasted in-show, and this one is a fucking thorn in my side:

I think Theon will succeed in taking down Euron (I think this scene is a great foreshadowing that he’s going to save house Greyjoy by saving Yara), but it will likely be at the cost of his own life. I suspect he’ll not only save Yara - but perhaps some members of his other house, too. After all, he’s a Greyjoy and he’s a Stark.

The Night King

Oh, this one is fun, isn’t it? I’m probably the only person who doesn’t want the Night King to die - but I’m pretty sure he will and that I know how it’ll happen. First, we’ll finally get to see Vladimír Furdík’s stuntwork paid off in the final season, which almost ensures there will be an epic showdown between Jon and the Night King.

But you shouldn’t want Jon to defeat him! (Or Daenerys, for that matter!) Why?

“The gods hate kinslayers, even when they kill unknowing.”

This quote is specifically told to Jon by Ygritte when she recounts the tale of Bael the Bard. Interestingly, Bael the Bard heavily mirrors Rhaegar x Lyanna. And what also happens to mirror Lyanna, is how Sam and Jon become friends. Jon comes to his rescue as he’s getting his ass whooped by his fellow black brothers - just like his momma coming to Howland Reed’s aid. Both Jon and Lyanna go out of their way to further humiliate the tormenters, too.

I predict the Night King will disarm Jon Snow and in this crucial moment, and that’s when Sam the Slayer will thrust Heartsbane through his back (perhaps melted down into more wieldable daggers by Gendry?), Howland Reed-style, saving Jon’s life and frankly, blowing everyone’s minds.

Because after all…

“Everything that happens will be something that you’ve seen before.”

Buuuut it’s going to be about as satisfying as Arthur Dayne’s demise - as we’re going to learn of the Night King’s history, and perhaps that his death marked not only the death of the wights and white walkers - but all of Craster’s sons, perhaps wiping out a whole misunderstood race.

‘A villain is the hero of the other side’, after all - and if you’re familiar with my theory that the Night King is the one using his greenseeing powers to manipulate the visions in the flames that the followers of R'hllor see… then this line by Beric might foreshadow his death:

And that our heroes, the 'enemy’, will win.

Sansa Stark

Before anyone comes for me, there’s a fair amount of eerie foreshadowing - at least in the books. If the season 7 script leaks are to be believed, Sansa might still be the 'lone wolf’ she warned against last season, distancing herself from her family out of jealousy or paranoia.

The way I see it going down, though, (if it does at all) the Stark girls will mirror their direwolves - and Sansa just might die in her sister’s place, saving her life.

Jon Snow

First, let’s look at the conversation between Jon and Melisandre prior to the Battle of the Bastards:

“Any advice?”

“Don’t lose.”

“If I do, if I fall don’t bring me back.”

“I’ll have to try.”

“I’m ordering you not to bring me back.”

“I am not your servant, Jon Snow.”

“You’re in my camp. I’m the commander.”

“I serve the Lord of Light. I do what he commands.”

“How do you know what he commands?”

“I interpret his signs as well as I can.”

“If the Lord didn’t want me to bring you back, how did I bring you back? I have no power. Only what he gives me and he gave me you. Why? I don’t know. Maybe you’re only needed for this small part of his plan and nothing else. Maybe he brought you here to die again.”

Other than that, we’ve got some fucked up lines from Sansa:

(Thanks, Sansa. Great job.)

As well as Beric:

Alternatively, there is some amazing book foreshadowing that Jon will live.

Why include in the story Beric has come back from the dead multiple times, at all? Why tell us that each time he comes back, he’s a bit less of himself? He’s not a major character. Is it all just for 'flavor’ - or are we being groomed to see it happen again to someone we love?

And how bittersweet would that be - seeing Jon come back a second time, but not quite the man he used to be - the one we all grew to love.

I love the theory that Jon Snow is Dany’s mount, treason, and fire for love - and that she’s the one who commits treason against him, by possibly demanding he be brought back 'against his will’ (though, considering he’s a father-to-be and potential newlywed, I don’t think he’ll gripe about it as much in season 8 as he would’ve in season 6.)

When Jon died the first time - I thought for sure he’d come back in some blaze of glory. That they’d try to burn his body, but he’d have this epic 'Unburnt’ moment, like Dany (lol). I’d like to see Dany wake a dragon a second time with some sort of similar funeral pyre that she walks into… except that two people walk out instead of one.

I know, I know. *adjusts tinfoil hat*

But Sam Tarly happens to agree with me:

Always.

Beric Dondarrion

Considering the man gave his life long ago for Catelyn to become Lady Stoneheart in the books, I think his entire purpose for still kickin’ around in Season 8 is to give someone the 'Last Kiss’. Not really a unique idea, no. Popular candidates tend to be Sandor (after all, he tells him 'We will meet again’), Daenerys, or one of the Stark kids. But my money’s on Jon.

Melisandre

I’m an atheist (like GRRM), and therefore, I more or less despise Melisandre for basically convincing what used to be a good man to burn his daughter alive. That’s some Abraham and Isaac shit right there (and that shit better happen in the books because it’s powerful AF commentary and I’m here for it).

All that said, what I’d love to happen with Melisandre is to see her realize her god isn’t real (assuming the Night King has been messing with her visions), and have a personality crisis/breakdown. Afterward, if my theory about Jon happens to be true, she’ll play a role in bringing him back, perhaps even lending her life in the process. Buuuut I wouldn’t mind Gendry’s future wife avenging his cousin’s death and closing her 'blue eyes’ forever.

As for the rest…

People I’m unsure will live or die:

Drogon 🤞

Ghost 🤞

Nymeria 🤞

Davos Seaworth 🤞

Tyrion Lannister 🤞

Sandor Clegane 🤞

Grey Worm 🤞

Bronn

Ned Umber

Alys Karstark

People I think will live:

Samwell Tarly

Gilly

Daenerys Targaryen

Arya Stark

Bran Stark

Little Sam

“Boatbaby”

Rhaegal

Gendry

Missandei

Jon Snow (resurrected)

[anomalagous]

lc’s ongoing long-ass list of what the fuck, teen wolf, and other sundry E606:Ghosted edition.

scott getting a little tiny bit snarly at the sheriff for not believing~~ in stiles gives me life

this old-ass map not only puts beacon hills on top of a real life place called scotty place which still makes me laugh, but also substantially more north and eastward than i originally estimated.

why the fuck didnt naziwolf just get the fuck outta bh?

why did he choose to stay and teach high school of all things?

california requires an 18 month accreditation course and a certain GPA of teachers who do not have an education degree, i know this from direct experience. its been three months since naziwolf busted out of his bacta tank, so what the fuck

if he forged his credentials, how

when

when did he actually learn all of the post WW2 physics and electromagnetics things he clearly genuinely knows and has a genuine interest in?

did the dread doctors read him bedtime stories from their science journals?

if so, what the fuck

i guess if youre an alpha werewolf you can sleep in the backseat with no seatbelt and its not a big deal if you crash

good job on malia being the driver and not crashing them im proud of her

reading the date of the canaan abduction in the standard american way it was april 8th, 1987, which cant be a coincidence given that’s stiles birthday (albeit pre-stiles)

if canaan has been abandoned for 30 years, who has been cutting these obviously not overgrown lawns and trimming these obviously not overgrown accent shubberies

why isnt that flag beat up or torn in any way?

kudos on giving that convertible the old 80s style california plates but why arent any of the windows on any of the cars busted out? no flat tires? no rust or missing doors?

also that shot of the ‘town’ where there was more substantial damage looked fake as hell and the crosswalk was proceeding at the wrong angle and i cant unsee it.

why is there still power running to these street lamps?

for that matter who has their street lamps scheduled to turn on in the middle of the day?

was that block party banner over the street lettered on both sides? it reads properly no matter what side youre looking at, which seems weird.

why is there blood on the carousel? was that explained? we’ve never seen the ghost riders’ gun draw blood that i can recall

im not even sure we’ve really seen their whips draw blood per se and certainly it wouldn’t have caused that kind of blood stain

also why is the blood still wet and red 30 years later? why wasn’t that newspaper rotted out? either time impacted this town to make it shitty as hell or it didn’t, pick one, you cannot have both. it still rains enough in california to totally disintegrate a newspaper in thirty years.

how the fuck did that carousel function even that tiny bit after 30 years in the elements?

why did melissa have to sneak chris argent around, couldnt he have just declined the operation against medical advice?

also good to see scott got his utter inability to lie from his mom

even if malia isnt wearing 100% stiles’ void-hoodie how could the costume department have thought for a minute we wouldnt have thought that was the void hoodie?

malia having a hallucination of theo in the same episode he comes back in for real seemed both rushed and entirely unnecessary.

in fact these hallucinations seemed wholesale unnecessary and neither scott nor malia deserved that nonsense

were all of these dead leaves already on location or did some poor asshole have to ship them in and then ship them out again

come to think of it, at first i was really excited to see coral/eucalyptus trees as they are actually trees that are in california (as opposed to the type of oak the nemeton is, which is distinctly Not a type of tree in california) but then i realized those are Southern California Trees and if beacon hills (and canaan) are that far north and close to the oregon border, the trees should be way more pines and evergreens and not coral or eucalyptus or ... any deserty tree, really.

seriously were these hallucinations just to show malia can feel sad too?

malia was wearing really subtle gold eyeshadow earlier. now it’s dark shadowing up to her browbone. does being a werecoyote also mean being able to shift your makeup at will? cause thats cool

do little girls seriously still play with baby dolls while hitting their first strides of puberty? im beginning to think i was never actually a little girl.

how much younger than malia was kylie supposed to be? bc she looks like 12 here but malia was like... 10 when the desert wolf murdered her family, right? was SHE the younger sister??

teen wolf shamelessly reusing shots with new filters on them like never before. this ain’t even the fifth time i’ve caught them doing this, this season, and i’ve literally never seen them do it in any of the other seasons.

im not sure anybody told kylie’s actress she wasnt gonna get to make out with shelley

how do werecreatures get piercings? or were her ears pierced first before the change?

why does anyone let liam make any decisions, ever?

i do not get why everyone finds naziwolf so hot

seriously i have a little tree-bush exactly like this right outside my door/garage and that shit is wild and untamed in just a month of no trimming in 30 years it would not have that nice slender shape anymore

also trees being choked to death by kudzu or whatever all these vines are dont look that healthy

is there even kudzu in california??? ive never seen so many vines in all my 10 years of living here.

the first house scott goes in theres like no tv in the living room but there is one chair (with no dining table) all alone in the dining room area, which just looks sad.

oh sorry two chairs set up in what was clearly the worlds most melancholy staring contest.

my dentist used to have that exact sailboat wallpaper trim around the top of his exam rooms.

scotts bullying a door.

have melissa and chris argent actually told the pack about the head-biting yet bc i feel like they should know

i think more people have asked scott if he’s okay in this episode than in the last three seasons, which is sad bc it’s basically just lydia and malia that do it.

that one house has some brutal earthquake damage in its exterior wall.

poseys microexpressions are so woefully underrated, he really is brilliant.

i have more grey hair than jr bourne and that makes me really angry

i like that they’re doing alchemy with druidic compounds/hedgemagic/whatever you want to call it more than i could possibly express.

why is there a porch loveseat on the step up to this one house but that FLAG IS ENTIRELY INTACT?

how convenient that all three of them were looking at that window when lenore decided to fuck with the drapery.

that said scott’s resultant HOLY SHIT?!?? face is amazing

how has lenore been surviving in this town, does she not need water, electric, heat, groceries? where did the lemons for the lemonade come from?

all this wood paneling is the most 70s thing i have ever seen in my life

i appreciate the little cast iron redwood decoration with the ‘m’ on the bottom of it.

everything!! in!! this!! house!! is!! brown!!

that piano as a busted af bass key there.

i feel like i’ve seen that other metal flower/leaf decor before. the new version of the stilinski house, maybe?

lenore has an intimidatingly large smile and i feel like that as an intentional casting choice

how come malia and scott couldnt hear her heartbeat after scott explicitly called out that there were no heartbeats? or for that matter not hear that caleb also didn’t have one? (presumably.)

im not 100% sure but i think malia is holding scott’s hand when they enter the dining room area of lenore’s house, which is adorable so i accept no other reality now.

i honestly feel really bad for lenore.

i would say the fisheye lens is s6′s slo mo but the slo mo didnt go anywhere

i dont know if its supposed to be fancy or artisinal or whatever you called that in the 80s but dont put green shit in your lemonade, green shit does not belong in your lemonade. lemons. sugar. water. it isn’t hard.

malia like chugs a good half of her glass at once, but when she sets it back down it is more full than any of the other glasses. i prefer to think she just faked drinking it to try and gain lenore’s trust than it’s a continuity error from the props department.

when lenore starts using her banshee powers to shake the house, it also magically converts the lemonade into water.

lenore has a pair of decorative ducks on her wall but they appear to be two male mallard ducks, so. gay duck decor.

so when does lydia get to have telekinesis?

i dont think im a very big fan of how angela harvey handles scott.

malia did NOT make a fist like she was really committing to trying to punch out that window.

seriously scotts the alpha he doesnt need lydia to give him permission to do things scott thinks need to be done

that being said scott going into the basement with a creepy kid when youre obviously in some kind of horror movie trope was stupid

the cameras they used for the senior pack team were super blurry anytime anyone moved even the littlest bit, its so annoying.

scott barely being tall enough to reach this tiny-ass basement window is endearing to me

there is no way a vhs tape that wet would run. i remember vhs tapes. they were not sturdy.

i feel like we used to have the same VCR in my parents’ room tho

also what the hell camcorder did they record this on that put it straight on VCR, camcorders in the 80s had weird little small VCR tapes you had to put in a converter. that was just a standard VCR tape.

also why are there jumpcuts in the home video? did somebody cut the original footage and THEN put it on a standard VCR tape?  how much fucking work was THAT??

caleb goes from 0 to 100 on the creepy poltergeist scale real quick

well okay maybe from like 40 to 100

banshee duel yessssss

literally why would noshiko do this after she saw what happened with the nogitsune

not that i necessarily think theo is as dangerous as the nogitsune but he is well bad enough

look at this worthless white boy doing this shit against all the advice of the woc around him

why does the sword do this, i thought the power was in kira and not the sword

if the power is in the sword why couldnt noshiko fix her own damn blade

look at this other worthless white boy even more worthless than the first

that looks like melissa is putting like grout on chris’ injury that does not look comfortable

oh look hes screaming imma guess it was not in fact comfortable

gratuitous jr bourne fanservice

awwww theyre holding haaaaands again

how did this kid get on the stairs the last time we saw him he was by the tv, why did scott and malia let him herd him like this

i appreciate malia’s willingness to beat up a kid poltergeist immensely

of the pictures on caleb’s walls, many are pictures of insects. one is a blue crab. one says ‘guten’ on it, which somehow entertains me a lot.

this is the second time this episode has tried to make me scared of carousel horses

the vhs footage loops while no one is attending to it which is not how vhs tapes work

malia is such a treasure

that being said having nearly drowned twice in my childhood this whole drowning-on-dry-land conceit is not super great for me

screencapping this is so gross

i love lydia’s fierce banshee scream face

so the blood was on the carousel before the wild hunt attack, as we see in lydia’s vision. SO WHY IS IT THERE??

THERE ARE KIDS RIDING ON THIS CAROUSEL WHILE SOME OF THE HORSES ARE BLOODY

poor skateboard bro couldnt even take his skateboard like rude wild hunt

i feel like there’s a lot more ghost riders here than there are in beacon hills. maybe the ghost riders just come for particular towns and the ones in bh are actually like... cora isaac and danny.

its amazing how much younger a good foundation can maybe somebody look

did liam SERIOUSLY just tell theo he can kill whoever he wants? did i hear that right? bc that is a TERRIBLE thing to tell theo, who has ALREADY KILLED A LOT OF PEOPLE, even if what you meant was ‘dont kill us you need us’.

i cant believe we got this cheap knockoff as an excuse to not have kira and then they didnt even let him have the powers he needed to do the job

otoh watching his ass get blasted back into the tunnels was satisfying

literally nobody cares if youre okay theo you murderous fuck

i wonder how many times scott had someone steadying him telling HIM he has to breathe like hes doing for malia right here

i should really keep a tally of how many times scott does stiles’ lizard tongue thing while stiles is gone

this is gross of me to think while the character is basically drowning but hey now i know what scott looks like with his bottom lip all wet and covered in somewhat translucent stretchy goo--jizz. okay. it looks like jizz.

scott mccall nearly drowns on dry land after a lifetime of severe asthma and the first thing he does after is ask if malia is ok

luckily THIS time she asks if HES okay to but jeez

he looks so shocked and confused to be asked extra jeez

more scolia handholding, this time while fleeing danger

i was literally three in 1987 and i still have more grey hair than lenore who was demonstrably an adult in 1987 I AM VERY ANGRY

that being said i realized why caleb here’s clothing was bothering me so much. nobody had shorts that long in the 80s. everybody wore short as hell shorts in the 80s. it was thighs everywhere.

these stupid motherfuckers taking theo to scott’s HOME and putting him in scott’s SAFE SPACE without even WARNING HIM oh my GOD

those better not also be scott’s CLOTHES

ok but WHY are the wild hunt trapped? did they BRING the northern lights or is the northern lights related to what’s trapping them?

excuse me but WHEN did lydia see anything related to what happens to people after the wild hunt takes them and why didnt we get to see it too?

seriously its like if scott is thinking of stiles then lizard blep

im so mad at liam for bringing theo back and putting him in scotts house i cant even see straight

and i just know that this anger that scott is being allowed will be it

and in a week or two itll be working with theo like nothing ever happened

im honestly shocked he even got this much

he even got undercut there by malias (also justified) rage

cool that the morrigan got a namedrop but i dont trust them with that story eitherrrrr

man let me tell you if this was martin and not scott and somehow he had been murdered and resurrected and was then confronted with his murderer in his pack house that murderer would not fucking leave alive

im still kind of mad that this season brought claudia back to life just to make her so sketch and make me kind of hate her, i didnt want to hate her

oh okay its a different weird leaf decor piece than the other one

oh yeah noah OKAY NOW youre starting to believe BUDDY you have faith issues