#maybe it is a bit of pms | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sudokuplayer · 4 months

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i'm so angry and heartbroken and i think this is all i will ever be

#no it's not pms :( Jeremy is still missing and i haven't slept well waiting for him #it's getting so cold too #all my ''''progress'''' this year means nothing to me #also my sister is here because she didn't have to work yesterday and today and my brother video called her not knowing she was here #and when she picked up he was all cheerful and happy and it sounded like they video call often #(he texted me only a few times when he moved to the north and not a single time since he moved to Argentina)#and when he realized she was here he sort of got quiet and asked if i was around and she pointed the camera at me which always makes me sic #so i didn't look or wave and i didn't say anything and he said “she's got he headphones on” and my sister said no lol and it was awkward #then she told him we are all sad about Jeremy and said me in particular #i've been so sad and moody and angry #i can't do anything because of this anguish i feel #can't read or watch movies because i can't concentrate #i watched the emperor's new groove the other day to cheer up a little but it made sad #nostalgia doesn't work for me when i'm down like this because i see through it lol and i remember i spent my whole childhood scared #i remember i was certain something bad would happen to me (and it did but not as tragic as what i was scared of)#i'm rambling. i should be journaling instead #...#Keanu is with me now and i can't even look at him without tearing up because i start thinking about Jeremy #it's so cold and he's probably hungry. if he's even alive #the cats are all i have. i spend more time with them than with the only 2 humans i can interact with without throwing up (mom and sister)#you know how they say cats mirror twhe personality of their humans :( Jeremy is exactly like me. my mom and siblings used to joke about it #he hides when people come over to the house:( he pees himself when strangers touch him :(#we have the vet come over so we don't have to take him out of the house #and the vet is the only person he's forced to see. he pees himself when she touches him too #i can't stop thinking about how he's doing if he's still alive because he gets scared so easily and he's so anxious #i'm so angry because i should go outside and look for him but i can't even picture myself out of this house #i feel so betrayed too. because one thing is my stupid sick head thinking there's no amount of therapy or meds that could work for me #but why is my family listening to me when i say these things. why don't they get me lobotomized or something #maybe it is a bit of pms #📓

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otaku553 · 4 months

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Done with half my classes so I took a free night to just watch things and chill and draw and wow. Wow

This feels bizarre

#it does still stir a tiny bit of guilt because I could be working on the other classes #but 2 of those classes are practically trivial and I can’t do much about the third until I ask for people’s notes so #eh #still nocturnal though #but going to bed at 6 am instead of 10 am?????#WOW #maybe I’ll even wake up before 3! (pm)#I am doing Excellent

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alphabetcompletionist · 8 months

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got the go-ahead from my roommate to finally do the inbox unboxing this wednesday. we're gonna start like half an hour after i wake up and keep going 'til there's nothing left to answer. could be upwards of eight hours even if i'm quick. come join me or don’t, it’s optional. (this post goes up at ~2PM EST if that gives you any idea)

twitch.tv/alphabetcompletionist

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

26/26

#and per se and #the VODs will work. but OBS might still wet the bed. there's no ethernet ports in my room!#my roomie will be out til 2:30 pm which means you might hear him a bit. hope i'll be louder than him #i don't have enough space to download an 8hr+ video to edit it. so that might not happen. god i wish i could tho #...tbh if obs freaking out splits it into hour-ish chunks... maybe #but that's very unlikely

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astragatwo · 10 months

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The new W Corp besties

#my art #project moon #limbus company #fanart #lcb yi sang #lcb ryoshu #lcb hong lu #AUAAAAUUGUGHHH I HATE PM SO MUCH (putting up posters of everything w corp up on my walls)#they're so MEAN i HATE them :wail:#also hi i had these doodled for a little bit but decided to finish them instead of going to bed #i dont really like how any of these (except for maybe hong lu) look but at least the wip wont haunt me anymore #every time pm does something with w corp my friends get front row seats to me straight up dying for a little bit #trios of IDs specifically created to torture me:#last w corp cameo left is rodya when will it be her time #SIGHS i miss them all but pm's gonna need to Not sue unions if they want me to redownload their gacha game #anyways surely there's more than clean up agents over at w corp like dont get me wrong i love the flesh janitors but #what else is there i need to know more about my favorite dimensional space existential horror gore trains #sometimes i dream of drawing every single named wcorp agent in one drawing... maybe some day

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peppersfromhell · 1 month

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curse rotted greatwood came on

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dionysusdecent · 6 months

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I find it kinda funny that i somehow managed to find like a small group of Heathcliff fans that sorta just constantly reblog each other, no other communication, just one finds a post and reblogs it, and the others just follow suit.

#lcb heathcliff #cant wait for canto 6 part 3 in a bit #and to be emotionally destroyed and the almost inevitable fight against distorted Heathcliff #canto vi spoilers #canto 6 spoilers #spoilers in the tags #PM has already given us a mechanic that removes sinners from the party in 5.5.1 #they can do it here and i dont know who im gonna replace him with #limbus company #...just reminded myself that im gonna need to get back to analyzing the sin affinity of the new heath IDs i havent covered #and maybe the ones ive already covered since we now have a lot more info about him

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cemetery-irises · 4 months

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Actually throws my street at night memory at you

Wearing a coat of some kind, barefoot, may have been walking on gravel or just uneven road, the light is very dim despite there being gas lamps Everywhere, it's windy and rainy but currently not getting rained on (so under an awning or scaffolding?) Just kind of wandering in the dead of night trying to get as far as possible from where we were

huh. this is very interesting to me

#to me its also barefoot but some sort of like. rough sort of rock sidewalk #it also isnt the dead of night but it feels like 8-10 pm ish. the rain hasnt started yet either but its definitely going to #and also yeah with the uneven light #this is fascinating #it may not be exactly the same road but maybe a similar area..... or it is the same road and im just a tiny bit dumb /lh

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mamawasatesttube · 7 months

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sits bolt upright in bed. i need to put tim drake in a blender

#rimi talks #the ''in bed'' is a joke btw its 8:42 pm im not in bed yet. it came to me while i was stirring my tea just now #i havent put tim drake in a blender since NOVEMBER. jesus. i need to get on it ive been centrifuging kon nonstop lately #well i have a bit more kon centrifuging to do (finishing tcos). but after that maybe #what are my current wips... do i have any tim drake chambers of torment...#OH I DO I HAVE THE ONE WHERE HE GETS THE SHIT KICKED OUT OF HIM <3333 ok that one is up next after tcos

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judicent · 4 months

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Yeah, I did fill 4 sketchbooks in 4 months so far this year. Huh? Am I gonna post even an ounce of it? Well, you see, I am allergic to my phone, so you will have to come CATCH ME

#da #nooo but I am so saddd it's so much easier to show stuff off irl 😭#if it could look even halfway decent I've considered doing flip throughs of sketchbooks on video #except I draw in pencil and cameras hate that and want me to explode #idk it is truly just better to somehow gain access to my terrible trove of sketchbooks #no but man that sounds like such an ideal hang out. get all my oc lore by sitting on my floor with me as we go through the archives #gosh I should count how many I've filled up at this point #I love that the number increases exponentially as the years go on #like I think 2018 began the precedent of 4 a year minimum which was kinda wild #another ridiculous difficult project I have given a lot of thought to: combing through every sketchbook and either redrawing #or printing off important story related bits and compiling them all into a convenient binder. maybe binding them into a book.#anyway it's pretty much all a drag no matter how you slice it #come to my HOUSE and look at my CREATURES #u don't know this bc I've learned to be silly sneaky but I have stayed up wayyyy too late AGAIN #but I've scheduled this to post at a normal time so you'll never know. unless you read the tags. but that's its own punishment isn't it #hey bonus enticement to look at my boo stuff that doesn't get on the blog. there's smut. and you KNOW I'm a coward who shan't ever post that #actually we'll be lucky if I'm not the same coward in real life too #it's only Dick and Vinny. they get rights. i don't care if anyone else has sex. I don't care if I have sex.#the one song I hope I don't have sex. I hope we both don't have sex. that's actually Vinny though.#I'm more sex favorable and sex positive than he could ever be #y'know this is a very 4am convo to have and actually how prepared am I for this to live in a pm afternoon time #welp. maybe I should stop being addicted to tags and letting loose all my secrets #I shan't grow I shan't do better and I shan't ever change. this is the da promise <3

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diegogtratty · 6 months

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wouldn't it be awesome if i posted a drawing.

a drawing of a mini giant.

a mini-giant posted on a monday.

minigiant monday.

#i sometimes scare myself with some ideas.#however. this requires me to commit to the bit.#maybe next week and not at 11 pm.

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anglerflsh · 2 years

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my desk + assorted doodles/studies

#[.art]#self #self portrait #really proud of the hands over the candle in that last one #also that sketch where i used the mirror is a bit off proportions-wise but it's pretty accurate for me at nine pm #also i realised my nose has a little bumb? maybe it's from that torch someone threw at me when i was seven #or it's just like that. I think it's neat #don't even worry about the prayer one my relationship with praying is great fr fr (lie)

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angelstrawbabie420 · 1 day

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grief will have you saying shit like goddamn and fuck maybe the abuse was worth it

#ive made this post before i just cant find it and it’s all im feeling rn #god i miss my parents so fucking much even though they were the cause of SO MANY of my problems that idk if i’ll ever heal from #but navigating life w this grief and without their support- however little it was- feels like hell #but the abuse felt like hell too.#ive said it before but i was JUST getting to a place where i felt i could stand up for myself and knock down thwir shit a few pegs. or at #least become more resistant to it #i saw a future with them in it for the first time in my LIFE #and it was bc i’d done SO MUCH FUCKING WORK. and now i feel like it was all so fucking useless #it’d be easier if i was still in the phase of anger i was at like 19 #but i’d processed that quite a bit and was trying to move on #FUCK. i had made SO much goddamn progress right before my mom got sick #then everything went down the toilet cus i cannot fucking have anything #it’s so unfair. i wish i could at least redo the last 3 years of my life #i would’ve done things so much different but i was so traumatized and still so angry and bitter and trying to preserve myself #ive come to the realization tjat the person i am today did not exist back then and therefore i shouldnt beat myself up bc it literally wasnt #available to me. i couldnt have done anythimg different bc i was in such a state of survival #and truthfully ive grown a lot since then even if im still in the trenches #the timeline of my entire life has been so fucking unfair #and i dont know how to reconcile any of it i dont know how to cope with my worst fears coming true #and i mean worst fears. even the way they passed. spot on to my worst fears #i despised what they did to me but i still didnt see life without them until i was at least 30 #it was all so sudden and quick and shocking #yeah they were horrible parents but i was a horrible kid too. maybe i straight up just deserved that shit #and i’d go back to that and seeing a future with them in an instant #over this bullshit #it’s so hard. and then losing all my pets too at the SAME TIME. all my babies #everything that i loved ripped away from me in the span of MONTHS #it’s all too much. l oh fucking l. no wonder im 3 shots deep at fucking 3 pm #it just hurts so bad. so fucking bad.

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suffarustuffaru · 1 year

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friendly reminder that reinhard is approximately the same age as his parents when they had him

#suffaru post #IM SORRY MAYBE THIS IS A REINHARD BLOG NOW….#i have an essay due at 11:59 pm but instead i am doing this HAH…#OK BUT THIS IS IMPORTANT RIGHT of course rezero is medieval fantasy and full of death traps so of course u got people having kids younger #but theres another layer here in that like 1. heinkel didnt become sword saint and theresia was growing older so he was basically required #to have a kid earlier than usual im sure. and of course heinkel and louanna got lucky bc they truly loved each other #and then theres like. bc louanna has sleeping beauty syndrome shes eternally stuck at 20 yrs old rn. reinhard is the same age as his #comatose mom. shes been in a coma since he was like two.#and reinhard too is expected to have kids to pass down the sword saint blessing. that shit is a family curse at this rate i swear 😭😭#reinhard van astrea #heinkel astrea #louanna astrea #ok also i know having kids at like 20 is probs like pretty good for medieval standards and all. but its still like. young. and then as we #all know shit goes sideways in the astrea family very quickly after reinhard is born and heinkel has his descent into madness arc which #recontextualized a bit with the fact that he was a young parent that suddenly lost a whole lot of things.#and there are no therapists in rezero so 😭😭😭😭#also ok yes i am assuming louanna was either 19 or 20 when she had reinhard…#meanwhile heinkel we know for sure was like 20 yrs old yeah.#re:zero

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doodlingwren · 25 days

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Hiatus

I am going on hiatus for a bit more. I really really hoped the stuff that have been going on lately were already "sorted out" but, uhm... they aren't. I need to take a bit more time offline once again, and try to work things out.

Thank you for your patience ❤

Wren

#EDIT: I've deactivated my IG for a bit because it wasn't helping at all. I'll be back there but I need time #wren text tag #somehow issues from mid July/early August have managed to get worse. Like I'm not even surprised bc I'm used to it but GIRL . What the fuck #“it's finally summer”+“can't wait to draw!” * gets 3 hiatus in a row * maybe drawing or summer isn't really meant to be 🤨🤔#I hate having to log-in to post a hiatus message and then dissapear again when I'm supposed to post my doodles n have fun #Feels like one of those jesters that appears at luncheon to entertain the royal court and then they go missing for the rest of the month #bc I'm trying very hard not to hide in my shell + having a bit more presence here to post my artwork #and somehow I fail at both like fucking heck. How can you be so bad at this.#but in short I won't be here to answer stuff and being silly or whatever people expect me to do #because if you're here for the silly stuff. MAN. I'm am sorry but I don't feel silly at all.#Somebody once said “the horrors are never ending yet I remain silly” but I forgot the “remain silly” part #And if you're here for drawings. I don't even have time and I don't feel like drawing at all. Idk which one is worse #The bakery hangs up the “closed today” so people know they have to go to buy bread somewhere else. Same here. But it won't last a day #idk why the bread analogy. Guess I'm a birb after all #this is also the closest thing to a vent post I will ever write and I managed to say nothing at all. Vagueposting about vent. Good job Wren #tw: vent #tagging in case somebody like me needs to have some tags filtered #the hiatus will go on also a bit longer because the last few weeks my mental health suffered a lot and I know my limit #also this post was queued. If I see I can still be active before publishing I will delete it otherwise see for yourself #also queue doesn't work ig like I programmed this for 9 pm hopefully it will be up by then and not any other random time

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orcelito · 1 month

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Actually we r at 6 months now without any major deaths in my life, which is great! That's the longest I've gone without any major deaths since last May! The second longest was 4 months between July and November last year. Wow !

#speculation nation #negative/#i mean not exactly but also. ya kno.#really i dealt with death after death in may july november and the biggest in february #actually i think my great grandma died within the span between july and november. but i wasnt close with her & dont remember when #so idk if id count that. if i did then the longest would be 3 months. between november and february.#all this is to say. wow what a Fucking year last year was huh #i still dont rly feel like i have much trust in people staying alive in my life.#but maybe im a bit less scared of even more people in my life suddenly dropping dead.#... then again now i apparently have something wrong with my liver. which i am still not happy about.#the only reason why im not dying of anxiety is bc i still feel relatively normal overall.#but i also just remembered how. well. 28 has Long been my unlucky number. and im turning 28 next year.#so ive been half convinced im just gonna die when im 28. bc thatd be just my luck wouldnt it #and like overall theres no real reason why i Would die at that age. but now theres something wrong with my liver.#and like ok i dont think it's liver failure. i dont have any real symptoms for it #and if it was an emergency my doctor wouldve told me to go to the hospital. probably.#but idk. my truest anxiety about it is that it could be something cancerous. or something.#and really i have no reason to suspect that specifically. it's just one of the potential causes for the enzyme abnormality we found #but bc it's not entirely off the table. well now my mind has latched onto it. and is like 'What If'#and ok i just now looked into possible liver diseases to try to calm my anxiety. with mixed success.#bc i found all sorts of liver diseases. including cirrhosis. which is irreversible damage.#im just clinging to the hope of the fact that my readings werent Too high... just.#every single one associated with the liver was high. which means theres Definitely something wrong with my liver.#and im kind of scared it's bc of my prior alcohol use. i wasnt an alcoholic but i did drink pretty regularly for a bit.#but also how unfair would it be for me to get a liver disease from that??? the most i ever drank at one time was 8 shots #which is a lot but there are some people doing that kind of thing Regularly. and they dont get liver disease???#regardless this has been extra persuasion to stay off the alcohol. especially until i know what's up with it.#heyyyy mr liver inside me i prommy i will take good care of u from now on. pls dont die on me 😭😭😭#see ok this is what happens whem i start to think. i get anxious. i just need to keep not thinking.#it's 10 pm i think thats a good time for sleepies

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red-dyed-sarumane · 1 month

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we're back from comiket i was so prepared for it to be like vomas where i bought way too much but i didnt end up getting anything. even getting in around 12 after the whole entrance line parade thing the limbus booth already stopped taking orders for the day & by the time i remembered the kamitsubaki fanartists were there they were sold out of anything i wanted. amazing event if ur into recent anime, games, or vtubers unfortunately i really only cared about 2 things so it wasnt really my type of event. still cool to go to tho

#im kind of mad about the limbus booth knowing what kind of numbers to expect and yet #they cut sales before the pm people even got in #like i had an am ticket & bc i wasnt there right at opening i didnt get a chance #which is not so much a complaint with the staff there so much as whoever's organizing it #the kmtsbk fan arts thing is my own fault tho bc i was walking around like an hour or two before i remembered they were there #the cosplayers were very cool too. didnt get any pics ur just going to have to trust me on that #anyway im so just going to focus on going to voca events from here on i think. bc i have the most fun with those #vomas was the best time of my life i would go to vomas again no hesitation #comiket however.. its going to take some convincing to go to another.#not that its bad its just my interests are so limited it just wasnt for me #and thats fine! i know when i fall outside if a target audience #also maybe fuyucomi is better bc. 34°c is a bit much for me. even after getting inside it was still rough #anyway i passed my limits walking around like that all day im crashing hard now byebye

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