#me waxing poetic about shit at 4 am again whoops! XD

[veilder]

The more I read the little snippets (in mostly tags) of your asexually the more I wish to bow at your awesomeness! I honestly wish I knew someone like you when I was growing up. Keep being your awesome self 💜

Aw, well thank you, that's so sweet! And honestly? Me too! XD Because it's weird, isn't it? Growing up and going to school and just... having such a different experience? Everyone is out there flirting and going out and getting boyfriends and girlfriends and whatever and I'm just over here watching Naruto and playing Fire Emblem. XD But the truth is, I didn't really "figure out" what was up until my 20s. Figured out that there was a completely different set of parameters I might fill, y'know? That I wasn't just weird or religious or even defective, but a whole, complete person who just so happens to live outside of majority parameters . And it was so nice to realize that it wasn't just a me thing, too! And also relieving because, like... Even if you're not consciously aware of it, there is so much pressure put on you as a teenager to date and find a partner and, yes, even to have sex. Enough that even I, who had no desire to, always sort of felt like I was missing out. So yeah, it was a big weight off my shoulders when I learned the term asexuality and looked up what it meant and how it might apply to me. And also to realize that I'm not alone in feeling that way! Honestly, I feel like figuring I'm (very probably) asexual was not only a huge step in my development, but also was really one of the first things I felt adult about, y'know? Like, this is something I never knew as a kid, something I figured out all on my own, and something I can own and be proud of. It set my brain to a different wave, like... Kind of fuck what society expects of you, y'know!? Fuck me working in a male-dominated, physically demanding field! Fuck me plodding along after my parent's very backwards beliefs! Hell, even stupid shit like fuck shaving my gd legs, who came up with that, it's so stupid?! But I guess in that way, it's been quite pivotal to me as I've matured. And like... let's say I do eventually find a partner and decide I wanna settle down and shit and I find out that whoops! Maybe I wasn't as ace as I thought I was, lol! Then no biggie there either! Because fuck static sexuality, you can change whenever you want! Doesn't mean that the process of getting there wasn't worth it or that you didn't learn anything along the way! In that way, I think being ace will always be a part of my identity at this point, even if things change further down the road. XD Anyway, this is getting quite rambly. Forgive me, it's 4 am and I should've gone to bed already, but your ask was so nice and I wanted to reply. :) It's really nice to know that my offhand little ramblings might mean something to someone somewhere. That maybe someone will stumble over them the same way I did in my early 20s, just learning that there was more to society than straight and gay. And yeah, it would've been nice to be aware earlier, sure! But isn't it a nice thought to think we could be that person now? Like, what's that one post? About being the person you needed when you were younger? Like, what a wonderful thought! Let's, you and me, strive for that, eh? And get some more of that casual acceptance out there. ^_^