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wooahaes · 2 years

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thank you for the tag @twogyuu !!

rules: post the top 5 works you're most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular), your top 4 current WIPs that you're excited to release in the new year, your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year, your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year, and your number 1 favorite line you've written this year!

oof okay so this one is already gonna be hard because... everything on this blog rn was released in the year 2022. idk how many fics that is, but its a ton.

also sorry you can tell when my mood seriously dropped off during this

5 works i’m most proud of from 2022

under the sun: yes, i know she’s not finished yet. i debated including her because of it, but i’m genuinely proud of what i’ve written for UtS so far!! hopefully i’ll finish the fic next year, thank you all for bearing with me as i finished off school since that too precedence over most things (+ sometimes i just need a break from longer projects like UtS), i’m hoping to have wonwoo’s part out soon! but i think there’s a lot in this fic that i’m definitely in love with, primarily the world building. i feel most in my element when i work on UtS and the vaguely supernatural background it has, all wrapped up with a sweeter romance in most cases. without spoiling anything, i’m genuinely excited to eventually get to cheol’s part. whether the series ends with his part or continues on to a different title for the alternate ending, i feel like cheol’s part functions as something encompassing a lot of what this series means.

lonely hearts club: ah, lhc. my beloved. i genuinely have such a soft spot for wonwoo, and this is actually a series written in full! its been a while since i’ve done one of those lmao. i think my writing has come a way since i wrote lhc, and i think if i were to rewrite it, there’s things i’d add in--but she has a special place in my heart nonetheless. writing wonwoo as someone who is soft and loving is genuinely just something i enjoy because i feel like i rarely see it sometimes. he’s just a big ole softie who’s quiet and i love it about him.

sweet night: another unfinished one, i know, but... i think there’s parts of sweet night that i genuinely enjoy writing a lot. i think it’s pretty telling how every fic i’ve listed so far is pretty damn plot heavy (because genuinely that is what i love writing!!) and this one is no different. plus, i think this one has a special place for me because it’s technically a collaborative piece with several anons from a mutual’s blog (if you see this, hi sol! hi anons! thank you again for giving me permission to write this fic!) and i think collaborative works are fun. but there’s also some heavier emotions that i do like addressing.

a mermaid’s kiss: a short one! but i do love her. idk i just love vague mermaid lore and joshua was a rly good fit for this au.

enouement / singing in the rain: ok so im linking both of these here bc SitR is a retelling of enouement as a skz fic. idk why i was abt to say both of these flopped when they did decent. i guess i just don’t hear much feedback on either of them? they both have a special place in my heart. enouement was the first long fic i posted and one i was excited to write, while the other was just one that i have some lines in that i really like.

4 current WIPs for the new year

the rest of under the sun + [potentially] shadow: ok im cheating here but genuinely i’m excited to eventually finish UtS and hopefully still have the juice to write what i’ve been titling shadow! it’s the alt ending, name currently pending. just assume any series i haven’t finished, i’m hoping to finish next year.

i can’t run away: a vernon fic that feels kinda venty. it’s angst with no happy ending. title also might change a little, but i do like keeping it as it is now.

[WORKING TITLE ALERT] 88/134: a bang chan fic! its another chubby!fem!reader long fic because i can’t be stopped. might change the title later, but it was a reference to apparently how long it takes people to fall in love (men 88 days, women 134 according to a study i have linked on the google doc)

topsy turvy: both versions even though one will be titled differently!! :)

3 biggest improvements

honestly? just motivating myself to write in general. sometimes i hit dry spells, sure, but i’ve been getting better about forcing myself to sit down and write most days.

idk i just feel like i’ve found my style a bit more. focusing on emotions within a plot just fits into what i enjoy writing the most.

properly planning things (most of the time) and sticking to writing out those plans. trust me when i say i never used to plan things out.

2 resolutions

writing the full goddamn fic before posting it OR at least finishing all the plans first.

write more for non-svt groups. please.. @ myself this blog was started for svt AND trsr.

1 favorite line

ughh i think i usually end up having multiple lines that i like in fics so i’ll just pick one at random:

If eternal love took the form of a person, then that truly was you. You’d always have one part of his love tied to you, no matter how far away he went. That was the funny thing about love: you gave up parts of yourself for someone else. Wonwoo might always see you in the books he’d read, in the stores he passed, in the world itself. One day the pain would fade, but his love would always rest with you whether you knew it or not. He tried to think of what the Twitter account would say. Part of him wanted to message it, even if the person running it was on a break. But what could they say to comfort him? That it was okay to be hurt, that they were sorry for encouraging him? That love was a leap of faith and sometimes you fall but it’ll all be okay?

They said falling was the best part of love. If it was, then the impact of hitting the ground was the worst.

(from pt.10 of lonely hearts club)

i will simply mention some ppl and no one has to do it if they don’t want to @junkissed @thepixelelf @husbandhannie

#wooahaes.txt #wooahaes.tagged #my mental health took like. a random fuckin hit so im gonna go curl up in bed now n hopefully sleep

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hollands-poppet · 6 years

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ALL WE HAVE IS NOW PT 8 (LAST PART)// TOM HOLLAND X READER

Summary: Y/N is living the Hollywood dream but is conflicted with her feelings when her old flame comes back around..

Word count: 5.4K 💛

A/N: Writing this part took soooooo long but I want to thank everyone that took the survey but I want to thank @superheros-and-others for leaving a lengthy suggestion on the survey I posted. And I especially want to thank @ladybirduris for pushing my ass to get this part out! I LOVE YOU. AND SHE GAVE ME MY NEXT IDEA FOR MY NEXT FIC WHICH IM SUPER EXCITED ABOUT. Now, this was more angsty than I intended but I hope you all enjoy the last part. ALSO, there will be an epilogue so don’t be too upset with me.

PART1 PART2 PART3 PART4 PART5 PART6 PART7

warnings: cussing, angst, ending idk haha don’t hate me

The ride back to Tom’s flat was a quiet one, Nikki was actually comforting Y/N because she thought she was upset that she wasn’t pregnant. The redhead kept putting her hand on your shoulder and lightly rubbing it, “Don’t be so hard on yourself, this is more common than you think.” She pulls up at a Starbucks drive thru before arriving to Tom’s flat, “Maybe a drink will help you cheer up?” Then it becomes silent again, and you become lost in your thoughts.

Now that she wasn’t pregnant, what did this mean? She really did only fly to London because of this, so what does this mean for her and Tom? Y/N didn’t know what sort of reaction to expect from him, she didn’t know what was going to come next but she did know that she was in love with him.

It’s kind of sad, you knew you weren’t ready to be a mom… but the thought of you and Tom becoming a little family was something in the moment that sounded nice.

You and Tom living in his flat with your kid that you both created, but that all faded once you found out your pregnancy wasn’t real. A knot in your throat was beginning to form when Nikki’s voice interrupted your thoughts, “Y/N? Did you want something?”

You clear your throat so that the knot doesn’t give away that you’re about to cry, “Uhm,” You bring your head forward to look at the menu and screen, “Can I get a venti iced Americano with 3 pumps of vanilla, 3 packs of stevia and coconut milk. Thank you.”

You sit back in place, and stare down at your hands that lie on your lap and crack your knuckles. “I guess not being pregnant has its perks, you get to have coffee.” You avoid making eye contact with Nikki who is glancing at you with hopeful glare. She rests her hand on yours, and you let out a crooked smile as you let out a deep breathe.

“Nikki-” You hold her hand in yours, “Do you think Tom will still want me?” As she pulls forward to the window, she puts the brake on the car and turns towards you.

Her hand that was on the wheel makes its way to yours, she purses her lips and lets out a sligh giggle, “He would be a fool to let you go, love.” Y/N cracks a smile for Nikki, she was probably right. If you knew Tom like you thought you did, it should all work out.

Maybe, just maybe this was all fate. It’s sort of like, the stress of being pregnant was quickly replaced by the stress of what was going to happen next.

Your Americano was a little sweeter than you intended, so you took light sips here and there. You didn’t want to be rude in front of Nikki because she bought the drink so you took sips here and there until you reached Tom’s flat.

You thanked her for everything, and hoped you would see her again soon. Once you reached the inside of Tom’s flat, you realized it was still early in the day when you checked your phone. It hadn’t even reached noon yet.

You closed the apartment door entrance behind you, “Tom?” You called out his name a couple of times, you didn’t know why you were calling for him. It was too early for him to home, he was still out promoting his movie with Z. You drop your purse by the entrance door of his room, and slip your shoes off.

You run your fingers through your hair, and take another sip from the drink in your hand, and you force yourself to swallow down the sweet coffee. “They really went in with the vanilla this time.” You let out a light gag as you set the drink down on Tom’s night stand.

You knew it was going to be a couple of more hours before Tom got back, so you were going to try to take a nap. You unbutton your jeans and quickly pull off your shirt, and you pull of your denim off right after. Just as you’re about to crawl into Tom’s bed, your eye catches his shirt that lies across his floor. You take a few steps and reach for it, from the moment you picked it up you could smell his scent.

Y/N slides on black shirt and it’s like she feels almost complete. She wish Tom was here right now, and just figure it all out. Before making her way into his sheets, she grabs her phone from her bag and there are a few notifications. They were all from Manny to be honest.

“I’m sorry for hanging up but I do need that answer.”

“Y/N..Universal is growing impatient.”

“Can you fucking respond god damn it”

“Photos of you dropped last night...I’m living for that dress.”

You slide into the center of the bed, and you let out a giggle as you laugh at your best friends messages. Ah, you indeed did miss her and you wanted to apologize for how you acted on the phone the night before, there is no way you both could stay mad at each other for too long.

You wanted to respond but being tangled in Tom’s sheets sort of brings Y/N into an emotional state. She sets her phone down next to her as she faces the ceiling and rests her left palm on her forehead, tears suddenly flowing from her eyes.

Tom’s scent coming from the blankets almost triggers you to realize that you weren’t pregnant, and never was. It’s wild, it felt like you almost made up being pregnant so you could be here in this moment but it wasn’t a good feeling. You bring your face into one of the pillows, your arms hugging it and even though you knew that not carrying a child was probably for the best but you knew the reason you were getting so sentimental.

You wanted to stay and you’ve always wanted to stay and be with Tom. It’s always been him, and the night you shared with him last night was more than a reason. You snuggle into the pillow, and slightly remember his touch from the limo, his brown eyes and how his fingers lingered down your legs as he went down on you. You bring the blanket up to your chin, and you knew that even after this let down that he would still want you, and you knew you still wanted him.

Instead of him being out with Zendaya, you wanted him here with you in his bed while his fingers tangled in your hair and your hands wrapped around his waist. As your tears stop flowing out of your eyes, you find yourself slightly dozing off. A nap didn’t sound so bad right now actually, and it would probably help calm her nerves, and as she is about to give into her nap.. Her phone begins to vibrate.

She assumed it was Manny due to the fact that she needed answer as soon as possible but she really be interrupting right now? You open one eye and look at the lock screen and the name was enough to make you pop up. You reposition yourself so that your back is against the frame of the bed, and answer before it goes to voicemail.

“Timothee?” You voice is almost shakey, you couldn’t believe he was on the phone with you right now, and that he called you. His voice almost sounds unrecognizable, it’s been a minute since you have talked to him.

He lets out a short laugh, “Yeah, do you not have my number saved Y/N?”

You bring your legs to your chest, and put him on speaker as you place your phone on the tip of you knees, “No, I do..I just-” She pulls her hair back with her hands, and they come back down to hold her cheeks, “It’s just nice to hear your voice again.”

There is some muffling from the other side of the phone but you can hear him clearly when he responds, “Yeah, it’s been awhile since that whole stupid thing.” You clear your throat, and bring your hands from your face together and crack your knuckles because of your anxiousness.

“I-I seen you on instagram last night..you look,” You smile to yourself, if only he could see. “You look happy Tim.” His response comes fast, “I am, Y/N.” And it doesn’t come off mean but just genuine, “You do, too. You and Tom looked great last night.”

You take a moment to think how he could of seen you but he probably seen on social media just as you had seen him. Before you could reply to his comment, he chimes in “Anyway, I’m calling to talk about Wicked. Universal is getting a bit angsty.”

Y/N rubs her temples as she feels tension in her shoulders start to rise, “I want to do it, Tim. It’s my dream role.” His tone becomes more serious but in a caring way, “Then fucking do it, you’ve been talking about this movie since I’ve met you.”

You don’t respond, you just sit there and there is a silence between you two. It’s true, you did want it but the stakes were high right now and Tom was someone you wanted just as bad as that role.

“They’re already predicting Oscar nominations Y/N, you can’t say no.” You bite your bottom lip as Timothee continues to pitch to you why you need to take the role but that wasn’t enough. His voice continues to come from the phone,

“They’re already thinking of casting Sofia Carson, if you don’t take it… the role goes straight to her.” You sigh, you wanted it to bother you but it didn’t. It wasn’t enough.

“I want it but Tom-” You can’t even finish your sentence before you get interrupted, “But Tom what? Hm?” You don’t respond.

“If Tom really loved you Y/N then he wouldn’t give a fuck about me being Fiyero. I gave you up for him, I didn’t take you to ever give something up over a guy.”

You scoff, that was a little ugly. He assumed you weren’t taking the role because you didn’t want to cause conflict again but that wasn’t true. Your pause leads him to keep talking, “Besides, there shouldn’t be a problem since I’m dating someone new any-”

“Look Tim,” You were growing frustrated. “That has nothing to do with that, I know Tom would be more secure than that.” Well, you hoped you thought to yourself. “I just have so much on my plate right now.” You didn’t really though, you weren’t pregnant but you wanted to stay with Tom. You wouldn’t mind just staying here with him, that made you just as happy as being able to be in Wicked.

“What is so much that you can’t take a role on? You’re fucking telling me that you don’t want to take up your dream role because you have too much on your plate?” His voice shows signs of irritation, “That’s bullshit, Y/N.” It was true, it was bullshit.

I don’t know what to tell you other than right now it doesn’t look like I’m taking the role.” You click your tongue as you lay back down in the bed. Timothee’s voice was raising as he grew frustrated, “I can’t believe you, Y/N.” You throw the phone next to you, you’re ready to hang up the phone when what Timmy says next catches your attention. “You think I don’t know what you really feel, Y/N..I know you’re scared of getting hurt again..” Your eyes widen a bit. He was right, he was fucking right. Timothée was your shoulder to cry on when your whole mess of a situation with Tom went down. Why did you think you were going to be able to get away with lying to him?

You were just too scared to admit that to him, and even to yourself. Also, Who the fuck did you think you were? You’re not Tom’s mom, and you shouldn’t have to stay with him 24/7 because of an insecurity. Well...an insecurity that ate you up but as far as you knew, you weren’t a legend but you were acting like one. Even though you wanted to stay with Tom, your reputation couldn’t be ruined by this. The only real problem was that you and Tom haven’t been in a long distance relationship since he filmed Spider-Man. You were scared, you were scared of getting your heartbroken again. “I know you’re scared but if it’s meant to be... then it’ll work out like it’s supposed to. Bye Y/N, hope to see you soon.” Then the phone immediately turns black, you’re just sort of dumbfounded. You couldn’t believe Timothée was so understanding about everything, he was able to call you out and put you in your place. Maybe Tom could understand too but first he needed to know the truth. You bring yourself into fetal position, and just cuddle the pillow next to you. You were ready for what was next but first...your nap. - - Y/N feels a slight weight on her through her sleep, it’s not super heavy but just enough to start bringing her out of her nap. She brings her hands to her eyes and rubs them, her vision is a bit blurry but she feels light breathing by her neck and she turns her head to find Tom leaving kisses on her shoulder.

You turn back around, you stretch your arms and legs while he is still wrapped behind you, “You jerk, you woke me up from my nap.” Your voice is raspy, you’re a bit parched from your sleep and you let out a small gasp as your pulled into Tom’s arms. “It’s 8 o’clock darling, how long have you been asleep?” Y/N’s head quickly shoots to look at Tom, “You’re kidding right?” His hand comes up from your waist and he pushes his curls back, “No, I just got home.” She purses her lips, why was he back so late? You sort of shrug it off but it’s still lowkey lingering on your nerve.

You turn your body towards Tom, your hands resting on his chest while his hands lie on your lower back right above your ass. “Why are you home so late?” He chuckles and pops a kiss on your nose, “The real question is why are you drinking coffee? Isn’t that bad for the baby?” Your head pops up a bit and you look past his head, and your drink is gone.

“I already threw it out, it was about to overflow,” he says as your head comes back down on the pillow. Your heart rate begins to speed up, “I don’t even know how to say this.” Your fingers outline random lines and shapes, you’re avoiding eye contact with him and keep your head down and concentrate on his chest.

One of Tom’s hands leaves the spot on your lower back, and he grabs one of your hands, “Y/N...what’s going on?” Her eyes move from his chest to his eyes, he has a small smile. He looks tired and the foundation he’s wearing is a bit patchy. You would usually tease him about the makeup he wears for press but you couldn’t even laugh about it now, “There is no baby...” His smile disappears as his eyebrows pop up in confusion, “What do you mean- no baby?” She wiggles out of his grip, and sits in a criss cross position while he stays laying on his side as he supports himself with his elbow. Her eyes are flooded with water but not tears have escaped yet, “I went with your mom to get an ultrasound and there is nothing..” his jaw is dropped a bit, his expression turning from confusion to a bit shocked actually. Panic starts to kick in as he hasn’t responded yet, you’re speaking fast, “I promise you I didn’t lie. He said it was a hysterical pregnancy, my body just mimicked the symptoms.” Tears are sliding down your cheeks by now “Tom? Say something please, my anxiety is flying through the roof right now.” He slowly gets up from his side, and sits in front of you, “I’m...I’m not mad, Y/N.” He cracks his knuckles in anxiousness, he clears his throat and grabs your hands, “To be honest, I’m a little scared.” Your hands grab on to his, “Why are you scared?” He looks down as he licks his lips, he presses his lips into a tight line and looks you in the eyes, “I’m scared you’re going to leave me, y/n.” Your heart immediately drops, you remember the first night you got here. You remember telling Tom you were only here because of this baby and not for him, he takes in a big breathe to avoid letting any tears slip from his eyes. She brings herself to her knees, her hands land on his shoulders and make their way to his neck. “Tom..” she sighs “I know what I said about just coming here because I was pregnant...” her right hands makes its way into the back of his head as her fingers intertwine with his hair, “That was true and I know that sounds fucked up but if I realized anything while being here is that I want to be with you..it’s always been you Tom.” His eyes shoot up fromstaring down, his eyes are almost hopeful and so is the smile that re-appears back on his face. Your hands bring Tom in for a kiss, your lips on each other’s as his hands land on your waist. The kiss was long but you felt happy, you remove your lips from his and spread pepper kisses on his cheek as you transition into a hug. You take him all in, you take in this moment and how you both went through so much to get to this moment. He pulls away, his hands still on your waist “I’m starved. You want some Thai?” You laugh, “Actually yeah, I haven’t eaten since this morning.” He jumps off the bed, “Mind if I borrow your phone?” You nod as you get up to use the bathroom, you take a few moments to freshen up and prepare to eat.

Tom ended up inviting Zendaya and Haz who came over about an hour later with the food, you had brought up that you weren’t pregnant. Z wasn’t lowkey about how she felt and made everyone take celebratory shots. After a few shots, you were already tipsy and sitting in Tom’s lap while Haz and Z were comfy eating their pad Thai on the floor.

“We should catch up with Love Island, mate.” Haz takes a sip from his beer as he gets up from the floor to turn on Tom’s tv. Y/N and Zendaya both roll their eyes, “Why can’t we watch something else?” You say as you slip from Tom’s lap onto the coach, your head laying on the arm rest. Haz stops in front of the tv and laughs, “Great idea, let’s watch K.C Undercover.”

Zendaya stops munching on her food, “That’s not cool, we’re not watching my old show.” She takes a sip from her Thai tea and before she could add more commentary, Tom chimes in “We should watch Spider-Man: Homecoming, it’s out in cinemas now.” You roll your eyes, “Are you really trying to go watch your own movie right now?” He takes a drink from his beer, “I mean, yeah.”

You grab your Thai tea from the table and take a sip, “I haven’t even seen Civil War to be honest with you.” His jaw drops as he sets his beer down on his table, he makes his voice sassy as he says “I guess I know what we’re watching now.” Everyone laughs as he leaves the living room to grab the DVD from his bedroom, and you sit up on the couch.

Harrison flicks on the television and the first thing to come up is E! News, and your luck couldn’t be worse. Giuliana Rancic is on the screen covering a new story, “Y/N L/N to sign a 3 movie deal with Universal which includes Wicked. She will be working alongside Timothée Chalamet who she has already worked with last summer. They are both are already in talks for Oscar nominations.” She transitions into a different headline and you sober up so quickly, you’re sort of shocked.

Zendaya quickly congratulates you, “Y/N, that’s amazing.” You still can’t say anything, it was only a matter of time before Tom would find out. Z continues, “How did you get Tom to be okay with you working with Tim?” And before you could speak, you hear your man’s familiar voice “I’m not actually.”

Your heads all shoot at Tom who staring down at your phone,“When were you going to tell me?” He asks, his jaw tightening after his question. Your head shrugs back in confusion, you’re still trying to play this all off but you knew you were caught, “What are you talking about?” You walk to where he is standing, and he flashes you all your phone screen, it’s an article by TMZ. The headline reads, “Y/N SIGNS 3 MOVIE DEAL WITH UNIVERSAL.. STARRING ALONGSIDE TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET.” You grab the phone from his hands and read the rest of the article.

Before you had fallen asleep, you decided to give Manny the okay to begin the process for the Universal deal. This was your career, not Tom’s..you had to do what was best for you. “I was going to tell you-“ He is heated, “When? I’m not even upset about the deal Y/N, you know how I feel about him.” You knew doing this was going to be risky, and you took that chance but you had a reputation to keep up.

Haz claps his hands once, “Well, Z.. maybe we should head out.” She nods her head in agreement, you knew she was happy for you deep down but she couldn’t interfere, not now. They gather their things quickly, you stand in awkward silence with him until you hear the front door shut behind them. You sigh “Tom, I love you. Not him. I thought you would understand-“

“Understand what? Hm, darling? I can’t just let you work with him like nothings wrong.” His arms are crossed, his nostrils are flaring up while his jaw clenches every few seconds. You put your hand into a praying position, “Tom my reputation is on the line, this is my life.”

“I thought you wanted a life with me Y/N-”

“I do! I really do but this is my job.” You take a step toward him while he takes one back, you scoff at how petty he is acting, “Really, Tom? You know I want to be with you.”

He clears his throat, “You have a funny way of showing it..” You’re growing more frustrated, “ Tom, I’ve wanted this role since I first seen the show live. I would never, ever would ask you to drop out of your dream role, that’s like if I asked you not to take play Spider-”

“It’s not the same!” His voice is cracking from being so worked up, he lets out a sarcastic chuckle, “I’m not working with someone I’ve had feelings for before.” You bring your lips in between your teeth, “I don’t like him that way, this is just work. Besides, you still work with Zendaya even after seeing you both in the same bed.” He squints his eyes, your comments throwing jabs for him to become more bitter, “You’re serious? You’re never going to let that go?”

You throw your arms in the air, “Just like you’re not letting this whole Timothee thing go?” Your arms drop back down to your sides, tears begin to slide down your cheeks. Maybe you didn’t know him like you thought.

“I was so insecure after we broke up, I couldn’t date Timothee because I couldn’t trust him. I need you to trust me, Tom. I love you and not him, I want you..” Your hands make their way to his cheeks, you caress them and you bring your nose to his, “ Don’t you trust me?” His hands rest on top of yours, he brings you in and your lips touch and you can’t help but feel like this is almost a goodbye.

He pulls away, and you open your eyes to find his eyes already staring into yours, he speaks first “It’s not you that I don’t trust..I just-” Your hands move from his face to your chest, he wasn’t going to budge, so you bring up a solution, “Maybe we should just wait..” His eyes widen, and his eyebrows shoot up, he’s taken back by your suggestion.

“I can’t just throw it away. Not..” you take in a deep breathe, “Not even for you.”

You feel your heart breaking, and his heart has been broken since he seen your phone but this timing is so bad. It’s just problem after problem, and you wanted to play this part so badly too but if Tom isn’t willing to let you do it and you’re still struggling to trust him with Zendaya then maybe it’s better to just walk away. There is obvious growing still to do, between the both of you.

“So then what happens to us?” His voice is low, its defeated. He knows he can’t convince you not to do it.

Y/N brings her hand to her mouth, trying to calm herself down. She takes in a shaky breath, “I’m willing to wait for it.. I’m willing to wait for you.” You suck up your sniffles and wipe away any left over tears, “If we’re meant to be Tom, we’ll find our way back to each other in the end.”

And then it was silent, you wanted more than anything to hug him and let him know that you were his and that he was yours. You weren’t sure if he would wait for you but you knew where your heart was.

Maybe this was goodbye.

You almost forgot how boring it was to sit in a makeup chair, you had almost been in the chair for 4 hours. It was first day on shooting so it only made sense, it’s new for everyone. Hopefully by the second week of shooting, it would be knocked down to maybe 2 hours.

The studio tried to convince you to dye your hair jet black but you weren’t having it so having to put on a wig added more time to the process. The last thing of the process was to paint your nails green, you actually didn’t look half bad as green in person. As you pop off your earphones, you see Manny coming up with a cup of coffee “Hey sweetie, here is some Starbucks to start the day off right.”

You smile at her through the vanity in front of you, “Thanks, I’ll grab it as soon as my nails are dry.” She puts her hand on your shoulder while she carries her itinerary in the other, “How are you feeling?” You shrug your shoulders, “I don’t know actually.. a lot of things.” Your best friend lets out a crooked smile, “It’s going to be worth it Y/N, I promise.” Before you can respond, she’s being called away by a producer from outside the makeup trailer.

As she walks in, someone else enters. It’s your co-star Emma Stone who is playing your frenemy Glinda. She is in awe of your makeup as she sits in her chair, “Dude, you look so good.” You smile as she sits in her chair with her matcha drink, “how long have you been here?” You blow at your nails, “Uhm, about four hours now.”

Emma’s hair stylist starts pulling her hair back so that she can properly get it into a braid, “Are you okay? You look a bit down.” And you are, you haven’t seen Tom in two months, you’re here and this is all happening so fast that you haven’t had time to process everything thats happened.

“Not really. I’m just feeling a bit down today but I guess that helps my vibe for my scene today.” Emma nods and licks her bottom lip, “Do you mind asking why you’re feeling that way?”

Your makeup artist comes next to to you and starts applying the last touch of your green lipstick, “Just thinking about someone to be quite honest. Stupid shit.” When the artist finishes you stand up and do a light stretch, for the first day of filming you expected to be a little more excited but you weren’t.

Emma clears her throat, “It’s not stupid. I totally get it.” You turn back to look at her and lean against the vanity counter, “Do you really though?” You didn’t say it in a snappy way, just sort of nice to hear someone that relates to you.

She nods her and purses her lips, “Yeah, its rough to be with someone in this industry.” You start to vent because maybe she could give you someone advice, “My ex..” you take a deep breathe to avoid crying, “He didn’t want me to take the role because of Timothee and.. I took it anyway. I feel so guilty but I wanted this job so bad.”

She intertwines her fingers and rest her hands on her lap, her artist starts applying foundation on her face “Yeah, when I was dating my ex, who you probably remember played Spider-Man..” Ha, how ironic you thought to yourself. You both dated a Spider-Man. She continues, “And when Ryan Gosling and I started doing films every so often, it caused major friction between us and we broke up..”

You cross your arms and continue to listen, Emma looks up at the ceiling while her artist applies concealer, “But at the end of the day, I made a decision for myself so that I could reach my goals..And when I won my Oscar, I remember giving my speech and when I seen him in that crowd…” she takes a pause and her voice cracks a bit, you could tell she felt a bit emotional, “Whether we were together or not, he was still there. If I learned anything, its that if he really loves you, he will always be there whether you both are together, friends or just together in a room.. the love doesn’t go away.”

Y/N stares down at the ground and you remember the last night you seen him that you would both find each other if it was meant to be. She feels a sense of comfort and she’s thankful for Emma giving her a new perspective.

You put your wig hair behind your ear, “Okay, I’m going to let you finish getting ready before we both start crying and we ruin our makeup.” You hug her from her chair and you look at each other through the vanity, Emma hugs you tighter and says “It’ll be okay, I promise. Do this for you.”

You let go, and she grabs your hands “I think that’s why you got this role, Y/N. You’re so much like your character, you’re so strong and all your intentions are good. Don’t doubt anything you do, trust me this will all be worth it.” You squeeze her shoulder and take in this moment, and before you can respond the AD walks into the trailer and comes up to you, “Set is good to go. Are you ready, Y/N?” You look back at Emma and then at the AD, this was your movie, your moment, and you were doing it for yourself.

You grab your coffee from the vanity counter, take one final look at yourself. You were about to play your dream role, you worked your ass for this moment and it was all going to be worth it. And with that Y/N turned back to the AD waiting at the trailer door and you let out a deep breathe with confidence, “I’m ready.”

All you had was now, and now was the time to do this for you.

A/N: Wow. I can’t believe it’s over. Yes, there is an epilogue coming but it’s pretty much over guys! I think I always knew Y/N was going to end up by herself, I just wanted her to be independent and know she could do it without a man. Send me your thoughts, predictions for the epilogue! Anything, love ya guys! - Amy 💛

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