#meanwhile my dream the previous night was just about me impulsively eating raw pork then instantly regretting it

[yardsards]

i had a dream about a strange and kinda angsty willumity au. kinda ooc, but that's to be expected from a literal dream. i found it very compelling nonetheless, so i wrote it down. (also put the events in order and omitted all the confusing Dream Nonsense and unrelated subplots, so that this would read like an interesting and coherent narrative, lol)

i think it took place around early to mid-s2, but like, none of the belos plot was happening

and it was ambiguous as to whether amity and luz had gotten together yet but i'm gonna say they weren't for the sake of narrative coherency. amity might've even still had her green hair?

luz had gone missing unexpectedly.

she was missing for months and there were no leads (they -especially eda and king- had searched pretty much everywhere and exhausted every possibility before giving up) and everybody had kinda started mourning

but amity was still super in the denial phase of grief and was still looking

and willow decided to help amity keep looking.

a bit because she saw that nobody's "it's time to move on" type of advice was helping amity, so maybe amity just needed someone with her while she worked through the denial phase. but a bit because she herself wasn't quite ready to give up the search either.

and willow commiserated with amity. told her that she kinda had a crush on luz too, though unlike amity, willow figured she'd never actually end up dating luz and had accepted that. she had just hoped luz and amity would get to be happy together

and amity was like "no, willow, honestly you deserve her more than i ever did"

and willow was like "nah, i'm not being hard on myself here. i just mean you two had pretty serious feelings about each other, and my crush on her was just a casual thing. i was perfectly happy to be platonic friends with her. i even kinda had a crush on someone else, too -though i knew those feelings won't go anywhere either" (and there were like, strong implications that willow was greyromantic?)

and amity was like "i don't know who that second person is but they'd be an idiot to turn down someone as beautiful and kind and strong and perfect as you"

and willow was like "hey, ams, you just called yourself an idiot"

and it took amity a minute to process before she realized. and there was an awkward silence before amity spoke up.

she said that when they were kids, she had a tiny crush on willow. it was never serious, of course, because things like that when you're that young never really are, but it was there. but she had to stomp out those feelings when she was forced to stop being willow's friend. and that lately she'd just been focused on her crush on luz (her first serious crush) and trying to just get her and willow's *friendship* back together. but, she said, in another world where things were just a little bit different, she knew she'd be in love with willow.

and they stayed there in near silence the rest of the night, searching for clues about where luz went, talking only when necessary

but at the end of the night willow pulled amity aside and said something like. "listen, i know it would probably be unhealthy long-term, but it might make us both feel better for now if we dated each other to try to fill that void. and then we can just break up if -no, *when*- we find luz, or if we're ready to move on or decide it's not helping us anymore,."

and amity actually agreed.

and then there was a series of scenes of their relationship and their search for luz and. their relationship was unexpectedly sweet for something whose original basis was "let's use each other to numb the pain while we search fruitlessly for our possibly dead mutual friend/crush"

it was a lot of comforting each other. holding each other while they cried. amity getting willow to open up when she tried to hide her pain and providing support. willow taking care of amity/convincing amity to take care of herself when she got too wrapped up in the search to tend to her basic needs

but they also made each other happy. there was handholding and soft smiles and sometimes even laughter.

at one point, willow gave amity the nickname "gooey" because she was frequently covered in abomination goo (taking after her father there, lol) because she didn't have it in her to take care of herself and keep clean (willow often ended up cleaning off amity's face and hands and brushing her hair)

and amity started using that nickname back at willow because "you're warm and soft and sweet like the gooey center of a fresh baked cookie"

and they built this little secret hideout to do their research in. the vibes were a weird mix of amity's secret library room, the fort amity and willow built on the beach as kids, phillip's cave, the night market, and that place where luz first met the catts. there might've been a little A+W flag on the outside like on their childhood fort

but as sweet as it all was, luz's absence was a constant tangible presence in their relationship. i mean, it was the original reason they got together. almost all their time was spent looking for luz, crying over luz, worrying about luz. they'd ask themselves "what would luz do?" or look over for a third opinion in their conversation to see that no one was there. a third chair sat empty at all times in their hideout. they spoke about how luz getting amity on the right track was what allowed any of their relationship to happen.

things seemed more and more hopeless the longer they looked, the more dead ends they ran into, and the less evidence they could find. but neither of them wanted to admit it. neither of them were ready to let go of luz. and they both knew the other wasn't ready either, and didn't wanna be the one to dash their partner's hopes by giving up.

and neither of them wanted to be the one to admit it, but they were both scared that looking for luz was the only thing keeping their relationship together, that the other would leave once they lost that shared goal. or that their relationship was still just a way to cope, and once they fully got over luz, they'd have to break up.

but of course that wasn't true. they'd both genuinely grown to love one another, to want to keep the relationship alive no matter what.

one night they were sitting in their hideout. looking closely through things they found in the woods where luz was last seen, through her belongings, through her journals. they were leaning close against each other, faces lit by a magic fire in the center of the room. this was not at all uncommon

but this time, willow spoke up. "i like what we've got going on here. it's nice, being here with you."

amity didn't quite get it. "yeah, i like our hideout too. i love how you made sure it wasn't too bright or too loud. it'll be nice for when we find luz, with how easily she gets overloaded by lights and sounds sometimes. well, how easily i get overloaded too. and i love how you always keep it warm just for me; you remembered how easily i get cold." she curled in closer to her girlfriend's warm arms and stretched her legs out towards the fire

"i like this place too, but that's not really what i meant," said willow. "i mean i'm glad i'm here with *you*. i love-" she wasn't ready to say i love you yet "-i love our relationship."

"oh." amity blushed. "i... i love us too. i didn't know if you felt the same way. i love having you here with me, having a girlfriend that remembers how easily i get overwhelmed and cold and makes sure to keep me comfortable and warm."

willow held amity close. "i know we agreed that we'd break up once we found luz. and then i figure the two of you would continue whatever it was that you had going on. but i don't want to break up if we find her anymore."

"willow, i don't want that either. i still have feelings for luz, but you're not a replacement for her. what we have here is real and i'm not going to throw it away. i won't date her unless it's all three of us. if that's okay with you."

"i'd like that."

amity continued looking at the evidence, jotting down notes, while willow stood up to tend to the fire. suddenly, amity put the last pieces together and jumped up.

the items they found scattered in the woods matched perfectly with luz's notes about what materials she'd need to build a portal. combined with the lack of remains and no sign of struggle, amity was certain; luz wasn't killed or kidnapped, she accidentally fell through a half-finshed portal. there was a chance she was still alive, somewhere. luz might be alive. amity and willow might actually get their friend and possibly-future-girlfriend back