#mel/tav/fugo rambles

[il-postino-mafia-yuri]

ah yes. the chatholics burn incense on black friday

[bidaily-mirage]

just went through the tag. we'll be stocked for a while

[meldailyarts]

ok i have Not been feeling well and thats been impacting my ability to do art so. i was going to try to make up for the days i havent done art but instead i think im just going to start over again from day 1 after i start feeling better because allergies and school have been kicking my ass :P

[il-postino-mafia-yuri]

oh btw i wrote a fanfic for the first time in forever. mainly focused around a gutterman trying to revive its human fuel source

[il-postino-mafia-yuri]

i wanna listen to everhood's soundtrack soooo bad but i havent finished the game yet and dont wanna accidentally spoil myself

[il-postino-mafia-yuri]

only 5 notes on my j/jba doodle i made last night and i already had to block someone over it. jfc i think i forgot how much that fandom sucks ass

[il-postino-mafia-yuri]

today was pretty damn shit. my mom laughed at me, i cried, my grandparents and mom noticed i was feeling upset but i dislike talking to them about how i feel so they kept asking if i was depressed, i went to go get an oreo milkshake from jack-in-the-box but the car directly in front of me got the last one, i forgot my phone at home and had to drive back to get it and search for another jack-in-the-box i could drive to.

but yknow. the fact that the 2nd resturant still had cups for milkshakes, and the guy at the window was really nice and fun and seemed very happy (he let me pick the color of straw. there was red and yellow and blue, and i chose blue. we both went "aw" when we realized there was no whipped cream left), and my mom picked up dennys for me and got me a little goodie box bc i just graduated, and ill be watching much ado about nothing with some friends soon helps out

[il-postino-mafia-yuri]

my mom told me i looked depressed. like jeez i fuckin wonder why. i wonder if a certain particular someone could have caused me to feel bad, not just today, but for literal fucking years now too

[il-postino-mafia-yuri]

sorry grandma but im really not feeling like a talking right now i get youre a talkative and curious person but i can not fucking be assed to answer 50 million questions every time i dare venture an inch out of my room

[il-postino-mafia-yuri]

having an absolutely wonderful first day of pride on my first year of being a legal adult (Sarcasm)

[il-postino-mafia-yuri]

i just want to live a life thats guided by myself and not by someone else and i dont want to care about what other people think. im sick of doubting myself once i think someone else has the slightest amount of doubt in me. i want to make my own decisions but i dont want to do stupid shit. i want to make my own decisions but i dont want to end up making myself upset because i could have thought harder and better and longer about the consequences but i never did, just heading straight forward or never deciding to do anything at all. i was never taught how to really make decisions for myself

[il-postino-mafia-yuri]

so sick and tired of my mom laughing at me whenever i say something that sounds naieve to her. no fucking wonder im scared to talk to people when my mom doesnt take anything ive ever said seriously. every problem ive ever had isnt about her its about me. everything i think is childish and naieve and unrealistic and uninformed, and theres no way it couldnt be.

[il-postino-mafia-yuri]

i feel so intimidated when i try talking to dungeon meshi to other people ESPECIALLY when it comes to the food bc i did not watch/read dungeon meshi for the food. i watched and read it because i kept hearing it had a really good story and characters (and it does!) and also. i dont know how to cook and i struggle to eat bc of ARFID! i cant even imagine what a barometz tastes like because i have never eaten crab before and i also dont know what mutton tastes like so i cant compare the two and understand how different they are!

[il-postino-mafia-yuri]

my music on beepbox from before i knew how to make chords:

my music on beepbox from today after i gained some semblance of how to make chords:

[il-postino-mafia-yuri]

thought about the gutterman again. i wanna kissy her

[il-postino-mafia-yuri]

normal about these games