#might delete or edit in the future to a more sanitzed statement who fucking knows

[lucifers-trash-stash]

Hi when are you going to keep writing Thanos's Escape Me story?

I'm going to explain this in the nicest terms possible and that might make me sound like a huge bitch but I'll answer this question AGAIN because I get this question constantly and I answer it similarly a lot of the time and my answer isn't directed specifically at you but my experiences as a whole.

It might never be continued. I'm sorry if that makes people upset but its the truth. One of the biggest reasons was Marvel and Disney being an absolute shit companies that only value ratings over genuine good storytelling and made it so that i lost a lot of my interest for the franchise in general. This happened with TWD too and it absolutely burned me from the series altogether. And when that happens with my favorite series' and movies it is easier to cut my losses and focus on shit that makes me happy instead of staying in fandoms that make me upset and angry about what should or shouldn't be.

Another huge reason is because im so tired of the constant asks of when I will post. Which sounds stupid but its because more often than not the ONLY responses to new chapters I would get would be 5% people actually sharing what they liked about the chapter and how much they were invested or interested while the other 95% would be people IMMEDIATELY asking when the next chapter was. No saying they liked my story or anything. Just when will I pump out the next bit of free content out. For Run From Me (the name of the story btw) it would take me weeks and sometimes months of struggling with my writers block and worrying about how people would receive certain things, and then when I was FINALLY happy with the chapter I would post it all excited to see the response to my favorite parts to write and then I would get pretty much dead silence from the majority of people save for those amazing fucking mutuals and followers that would tell me how much they loved the new chapter.

And this isn't me wanting to be congratulated every time I posted something new, hell if I only got a couple of comments compared to the hundreds I've gotten I wouldn't even mind, but just the comments that flat out ignore everything I struggled and worked for to write and only ask, as you have, when I will publish more. No hey I like your fic are you going to continue or hey just curious no pressure or anything, just "when are you posting more." It's always been phrased as a demand of me. And the last chapter really was the breaking point for me. I was so fucking proud of that fic and where I was taking it and was transitioning into the Guardian's of the Galaxy arc and introducing Gamora and Nebula and I thought I had done a really good job with those character dynamics and then got next to no feedback or excitement. Just when and where is the next chapter.

When you couple this with people who even went out of their way to give me backhanded compliments, like one individual who started off by telling me how much they loved my fic but hated the Thanos' wives OCs and hoped Thanos would get rid of them and had a very polyphobic attitude towards me, and while at the time I wasn't identifying as such but as an individual who would classify myself as poly now that sort of shit hurt me a lot. I would also get people who read my very dark story that I thought I was making very clear and obvious that this sort of kidnapping and forcing to be a wife scenario wouldn't lead to a happy ending had a lot of people telling me they couldn't wait until Thanos and my OC were married and got rid of all the wives and lived happily ever after... all of it just debilitated me because I knew telling the story I wanted would make everyone pissed off and hate me.

And thats why I made my slasher/horror movie sideblog. This is my main and I literally cannot be on it anymore because even though my blog has been pretty multi fandom this entire time, and how I tried to delve into Star Wars and writing fic that made me happy, I would always get comments about why I wasn't writing more Thanos. So yeah. Sorry to be the big massive cunt that ruins everyone's day. In fact I still get super fucked up mentally having to confront this every time. Hell I'm even scared to post all of my current writing on my AO3 cause I know for a fact I'm going to get people bitching even more when I literally have posted so many diff fandoms there and not just MCU.

So yeah. Sorry to write out this huge ass emotionally charged response because I normally can answer asks with a level head but this is a subject that hurts me a lot. I can't even promise the fic will even be finished or pretend to be like "oh maybe in the future" because I think I've been so burnt out on it and I get so emotional even just thinking about it.

I'm currently focused on writing things that make me happy in a fandom of some of the nicest people and friends that I've ever had and I couldn't ask for anything better. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news or make it sound like im making excuses but hey thats kind of how it is. These are my feelings and I have to step away from that fic because it isn't good for my mental health. I need to focus on me and myself and im writing stuff now that makes me happy and surrounding myself with supportive people. And if anyone has a problem with that you need to evaluate your own life.

So yeah. Thats whats up with me. Not sure if anyone will see this or care. I apologize for the emotional ramble but yeah I think I hit my breaking point on this particular topic.

Lots of love to my mutals and friends. I appreciate each and every one of you.