#mild humblebrag

[arglemouf]

stayed up until 2am speedrunning this game 100% (took me about 2h40). i think i played it too fast i didn't give myself time to absorb it LOL but i can't wait to have a deeper look at the ARG >:))

[fruitytrollroll]

I spent 20 minutes trying to remember your username help

perfectly understandable! allow me to be of assistance.

in the hit animated vore bonanza Dreamworks' Trolls (2016), the delightful villainess Chef briefly humblebrags her personal cookbook to the captive trolls she intends to serve to her fellow Bergens:

look how happy she is! :) she's also kind enough to show off several recipes, which are as follows (the illustrations and flavor text instructions provide a bit of mild horror if you're interested in that, but of greater import to this conversation are the dish names):

i picked fruity troll roll because it rolls nicely off the tongue! :) i've been accused of being an "obvious troll" on youtube where my display name is the same as this, but accept no substitutes—this is the REAL etymology of my username. <3

basically it always bothered me that trolls came out during what seems to have been a transitional period in dreamworks' marketing department. for all its strengths in writing and animation, dreamworks' merchandising has always been comparatively weak, and with trolls in particular the villains got basically no merchandise. :/ as a lover of villains and vore i found this completely unacceptable, so despite never writing fic for it and only a little bit of art, when renaming my sideblog i decided "yeah this is important enough for me to incorporate into my personal mythos," because i had entertained many theoretical phone conversations with a close friend about the fucky potential of a world where the protagonists are walking talking ecstasy pills who party all the time.

that was likely more information than you wanted to receive on a saturday evening/sunday morning, but i hope this explanation will assist you as a mnemonic device the next time you are trying to recall my username. <3

[turtlemagnum]

self indulgent rant about my own experiences with body shaming and what i view as my own lack of attractiveness as opposed to what other people seem to think about me

so like, from what i see people talk about online in terms of body image issues, it seems to come from other people's opinions for most people? and that's wild to me, because i'm not sure i've ever had anybody other than myself call me ugly. like, i knew a person who was probably the most attractive person i've ever known, like honest to god celebrities and porn stars can't compare to her, and she told me that i was attractive. and yet, as i exist, i look in the mirror and am disgusted with what i see, y'know? i feel fat and ugly and overly hairy, and while i am inarguably fat and hairy, that's also like, attractive to some people? which is wild to me, because i unequivocally feel like the guy in an ugly bastard hentai, yet this is all internal, and i don't know where this is fuckin coming from???

in regards to body shaming, i'll say i've only meaningfully experienced it once, and i need to specify that this isn't meant to be a #humblebrag or anything like that, because this was sincerely and deeply damaging to me when it happened. but that beautiful person i mentioned, well. i was young, and stupid, and i had finally measured my dick for the first time, and it turned out i was well endowed. i told her about this, and she said i was "too big". my heart fucking dropped out of my chest, something so mild, but so accusatory, it hurt me beyond belief. i already have problems with rejection, and this was a rejection of who i am as a physical being where i have no recourse to change this shit. hell, while i've definitely grown since then, i lost like an inch and am still back to where i was when i knew her because i've also gained a lot of weight. so like, i really empathize with other men shamed for their dick size, because while it happened to me for the opposite reason than it's societally expected to, i'm sure it still hurts the same, y'know? this shit sucks, man.

now, fit all this in with my recent lack of romantic success, right? i tried using a dating app a while back, and got about as close to no attention as i could've gotten without literally getting no attention. i used bumble which meant that i couldn't message people first, and i think i got like 2 or maybe 3 messages, and one of them was just somebody asking me if i wanted to play fucking minecraft, only for him to summarily ghost me. and like, on things like that, your looks are really all that matter to other people, right? so that just hammered it home for me, "i shouldn't fucking even bother"

i don't know where i'm going with all of this, to be frank. just helps getting it out, i guess?? i dunno man, this sucks. i've been telling myself i need to work on myself before i can get into a romantic relationship, but i'm not sure what i can even do in the isolation i'm in. it feels like everyone i care about slowly pushes me away, doesn't care what i have to say, doesn't even bother responding. it hurts, seeing people go about their lives without me, y'know? it feels like i'm always there for people when they need me, and never the other way around. i'm always quicker to respond to messages, which doesn't sound like a big deal, but when i'm the only one who seems to give a shit in a relationship, it feels hard to keep going. do i care too much??? should i care as much as i do???? god, i want to LOVE, i want to care for somebody, and i want for somebody to fucking reciprocate. aren't i good enough??? will i ever be good enough????? the island between me and every other fucking person feels like an eternity, and i seem to be the only one that cares. i want to love, and it feels like nobody wants to love me. maybe this is what i deserve, for the people i've hurt. for all the times i've tried to help, and only made it worse. maybe this hell is deserved. hell if i know

[help-mypartner]

i guess i should join on the mod party! hi, i’m mod tai, agender, they/them, i live in europe in slovakia, which is a country so insignificant that my ex-boyfriend was actually surprised to hear that we were a separate country (which honestly speaks volumes about the american education system i guess).

i’m really excited to be on the team, mainly because i had the idea to make this kind of blog once and just never got around to it but now i get to run one anyway and just. wow. i never would have imagined i’d make it this far. i hope i do a good job modding for you lovely people <3

(also im reeeally passionate about lgbtq rights just a fair warning)

[penzyroamin]

i want to post a mild humblebrag but i know that in like. 300 words i’m going to run out of steam and the humblebrag will be false

[brigdh]

Reading not-Wednesday

After feeling sick for a while lately, I saw on doctor on Friday and discovered I have bronchitis! Which means this week has mostly been an excuse to sit still and read light-hearted things. What did you just finish? The Windfall by Diksha Basu. A light but charming novel about a middle-class Indian family who abruptly become fabulously wealthy when the father sells a website he developed. Mr and Mrs Jha – middle-aged, comfortable, traditional – decide to move from their old family apartment in East Delhi to a brand-new mansion in Gurgaon; the American equivalent might be a couple selling their Queens apartment to set up in a McMansion in Silicon Valley. This, of course, leads to cultural clashes both funny and sad, from broken ties with old friends to an ever-escalating game of financial one-upmanship with the new neighbors. Meanwhile, their son Rupak is attempting to acquire a MBA from an American university. "From Cornell", the elder Jhas like to say at first, when they're showing off their upward mobility; "from the nearby Ithaca College", they say later, when it becomes clear that having a failure of a son is even more of an indication of wealth – after all, only the really rich can support useless offspring! Rupak himself strives to chose between two romantic possibilities: the white Elizabeth (Rupak assumes his parents would never approve of him dating an American, while Mr Jha secretly longs for a white daughter-in-law to humblebrag about) or the Indian Serena (who, despite being the niece of a family friend and fellow Delhite, culturally comes from ivory-tower artists who are possibly even more foreign than the Americans). None of the characters are particularly three-dimensional, but then, it's not really that sort of book; it's more interested in recognizing certain real-life types of people and having a gentle laugh at them than exploring the deep personal ramifications of sudden wealth. It's also an excellent book for Westerners despite being set almost entirely in India. Basu has a subtle but deft hand at explaining various cultural allusions without exoticifying them. For example, at one point Serena sends a joking text to Rupak: Have you seen all the places in Collegetown charging $5 or more for turmeric milk? Good old haldi doodh that our mothers make every day. Forget banking, that should be your next big business idea—something from our childhood at marked-up prices. I’m thinking Maggi Ramen. Wait, that might actually be a good idea. Look at that! Providing a translation and context for "haldi doodh" in very naturalistic-sounding dialogue, adding "Ramen" to the brand-name "Maggi" so that it becomes something recognizable even to someone who's never been to India, and all without alienating a reader who's already familiar with both. It's such a minor thing to point out, but I noticed Basu doing this work in several places, and I'm very impressed at how she manages to speak to two audiences at once. Anyway! It's fun, it's breezy, and it's not too serious: I recommend it. I read this as an ARC via NetGalley. An Extraordinary Union by Alyssa Cole. A romance novel set during the American Civil War. Elle Burns, a black woman with photographic memory, works as a spy for the Loyal League, a (fictional? I think?) network of black men and women working to end slavery. Her first independent mission requires her to travel to Richmond in the opening days of the war, where she goes undercover as a slave in the house of a Confederate senator. She soon meets Malcolm McCall, a confederate soldier who is strangely kind to her – and who turns out to be a spy himself, employed by the Pinkerton Detective Agency to gather information for Lincoln. Their immediate attraction to one another is constantly hampered by distrust, the need to maintain their cover stories (which includes Malcolm's flirting with the senator's daughter), rumors of the Confederacy developing a new superweapon, and general social stigma (even without the complications of spies and war, an interracial relationship in the 1860s isn't exactly easy or welcome). There are kidnappings and burning buildings and gunshot wounds and dramatic escapes to add adventure to the love story, but ultimately it is very much a love story. This was a great book, but unfortunately it wasn't quite as great as I had wanted it to be. I can't quite put my finger on why – maybe I needed slightly fuller characterizations? a longer timespan for the relationship to develop? richer dialogue? maybe my expectations were just too high? – and I absolutely don't want to discourage anyone from reading it. It's great! It's just not, you know, the GREATEST. Although bonus points for including a slightly fictionalized version of the story of Robert Smalls! I read this as an ARC via NetGalley. Dearest Rogue by Elizabeth Hoyt. A historical romance, set in England in the mid-1700s. Phoebe is the younger brother of a Duke (himself the star of the Regency Batman! romance I read last year) and has slowly been going blind for the last decade. In response, her brother hires a bodyguard, Captain James Trevillion, to follow her around everywhere and keep her from danger. Although since her brother hardly ever lets her leave the house and even then only to specific, sheltered events it seems a bit like overkill, but then overprotective older brothers: what are they for other than giving heroines a reason to rebel? Unfortunately for Phoebe, her brother seems to be proven correct when a gang of men attempt to kidnap her for mysterious reasons. Phoebe's need for independence and James's need to protect her provide a nice set of conflicts for them to resolve as they slowly start to see one another as friends (and more!) rather than obstacles. Phoebe's youth, status, and cheeriness are contrasted with James's age, cynicism, and working-class-ish origins, so that even once they finally admit their feelings they can't immediately hop into marriage. They have nice chemistry, but my favorite part of the book was Phoebe herself. Here's a scene I feel captures her character very well (she and James are pretending to be married for the purpose of traveling together): “And, just for you, I’ve ordered a mild ale instead of wine,” he said. “Have you?” “Much against my better judgment. It’s a common drink, my la—ahem, wife, and I cannot think it’ll be pleasing to your palate. Although,” he added under his breath, “considering where we are, the beer is probably better here than the wine.” She brightened at the prospect of a new experience. “Then I must taste it at once.” “It’s right here.” He took her hand and placed it on a pewter tankard. “To your health, husband,” she said solemnly and took a sip. Or rather tried to, for her nose seemed to be buried in foam. She inhaled in surprise—not the best thing to do—coughed, and then sneezed. “I do beg your pardon,” Captain Trevillion said, and she couldn’t help noticing that his voice was oddly muffled. Phoebe sneezed again—rather violently—dabbed at her eyes and nose with her handkerchief, regained her breath, and immediately demanded, “Are you laughing at me?” “Never my… wife. Never,” he assured her, his voice shaking. He was. He was most certainly laughing. She sat up straight, threw her shoulders back, and brought the tankard to her mouth again. This time she kept her nose out of the way and delicately sipped through the foam. The beer was… well, sour. And oddly prickly on her tongue. She held it in her mouth for a moment, thinking, and then swallowed. “Well?” She held up a finger and took another sip. Sour. Yeast. Something earthy. And those funny little prickles. She swallowed and took another sip. Did she like the aroma? She’d smelled it all her life—most of the people of London drank beer—it was the common man’s water. That sour tang, so warm and strong. She plunked down her tankard. “I think… I think I shall have to experience it more.” “Why?” he asked. “If you don’t like it, then drink wine.” “I didn’t say I didn’t like it.” “Nor did you seem overcome with your enjoyment of it,” he pointed out drily. “It’s… different—very different—from anything I’ve ever tasted before,” she said, her finger tracing the cool metal of the tankard. “I’d like to try it again.” “If you wish to do so, then I’ll certainly obtain you beer at our meals while we travel, but I don’t understand. Why force yourself to drink what you don’t like?” “But I’m not forcing myself,” she returned, tracing the edge of the tankard, feeling the bubbles pop against her fingertip. “Don’t you see? I want to explore different things—food, places, people. If, after several tastings, I find I cannot stomach the beer, then I shall give it up. Often something tasted for the first time seems foreign to us—strange and off-putting. It’s only after repeated tries that one realizes that this new thing, this once-strange thing, is quite familiar now. Familiar and beloved.” Phoebe inhaled, her breath coming too quickly with the force of her argument. “To only try but once and declare a thing lacking… why, that’s quite cowardly.” Of course I love a character who is devoted to tasting new things! The scene also shows how Phoebe's blindness is handled narratively, which I was very curious about before reading. Would Hoyt pull out some weird stylistic device to get around describing things visually? No – as here, there's usually so much dialogue that the lack of visuals hardly makes a difference. Overall I think the issue of Phoebe's disability was very well-handled; it's easy to sympathize with her desire for autonomy, and yet she's very much not defined by her blindness. One could write the exact same book starring a sighted character without needing to change one detail of the plot – overprotected younger sisters are not exactly a rare character type. The blindness feels simply like a realistically-presented detail. The multiple kidnapping attempts and their ultimate resolution are a bit silly, but eh, it's a historical romance; I don't need the plot to be all that serious. I had fun and enjoyed the characters, which is all I ask, and this is an excellent example of the genre.

(DW link for easier commenting)

[touristguidebuzz]

Here’s One Way to Stop Your Friends From Being Jealous of Your Travel Adventures

If you travel a lot, you’ve probably got at least one friend back home who always makes it clear how envious they are of your travels — especially after you mention how you did it all for free with points and miles or engage in some mild humblebragging on Instagram.

In order to convince his friends that they weren’t missing out on anything during a recent six-week Australian adventure, 29-year-old Norwegian traveler Lars Fevang took a series of selfies at some of the country’s most popular tourist attractions with a deadpan look on his face. Favang then posted the pictures on the image-sharing website, Imgur, where they became a viral sensation — sarcastic captions paired with his death stare are a pretty hilarious combination. You can view the entire collection here:

I travelled Australia alone. It was terrible.

Judging by the look on his face, Fevang’s trip to the Great Ocean Road was a hit:

“Heard the Great Ocean Road was amazing, was just some stupid rocks.”

He was seemingly unimpressed with one of Queensland’s most well-known shipwrecks:

“Went to see the most famous ship in Queensland. It can’t even sail…”

Lars… are you going to be okay?

“Thought the [Australia] Zoo would cheer me up. Turns out Steve Irwin is dead.”

As it turns out, Fevang actually did enjoy his big trip Down Under and never thought the selfies would go viral. “Maybe we have seen enough perfect smiling selfies from people in front of famous tourist spots,” he told The Irish Examiner. “Let’s get grumpy.”

H/T: News.com.au

All images courtesy of Lars Fevang via Imgur.