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kafka-ish · 4 years

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what billy doesn’t know won’t hurt him | r.t.

when things get heated between bill and richie, richie takes it a step further. now things are heated between bill, richie, and bill’s girlfriend.

word count: 7,429

warnings/included: nsfw (smut but it’s vanilla), cheating, pining, angst(?), fem!reader

a/n: this concept is awful and this whole fic was written for my own self indulgence so i hope you’ll forgive me

It was no surprise that Bill would be the first of the Losers to get a girlfriend and Richie knew this. What’s not to like about Big Bill? He had a certain leadership quality and charisma to him that no girl could resist. His stark auburn hair and tall figure probably didn’t help either.

Richie first met Bill’s new belle at the arcade. The Losers made plans to meet each other there one Friday night in celebration for their exam week ending.

“Guh-guys, I’m br-bringing my guh-guh—”

“Guacamole? That’s cool and all, Billiam, but I’m sure you can just get some there.” Richie erupted into a fit of laughter because that was the thing about Richie; he always laughed at his own jokes whether they were funny or not.

Bill’s backhand flew to the underside of Richie’s chin and Eddie cringed at the jarring sound of skin on skin. Bill grew tired of Richie’s incessant interruptions. His friend never seemed to let him finish a thought.

“No.” He let out an annoyed sigh, hoping it would come across as an indication for Richie to maybe, for once in his life, get his head out of his ass. “Mm-my girlfr-friend.” Once he finished his sentence, he made sure to shoot Richie a smirk. It looked the same as his smirk he wore when he finished beating him at chess or when one of the other Losers’ got in the last word instead of him. This time Bill got in the last word.

“That’s good for you, Bill!” Bev piped up. “We need another girl around here.” She looked to the room of all boys in slight disgust. “Not that you guys aren’t great —”

“Well... Now you’ll have someone to have ‘girl talk’ with.” Ben looked around to Bill, Richie, Stan, and Eddie. All except Richie nodded in agreement.

“Tough crowd. You can count me in on the girl talks, though.” Beverly slapped the suggestive look right off Richie’s face which he yelped at.

“Richie, you’ve been slapped so many times, you should be numb to the feeling by now.” Stan shook his head as a disappointed mother would, but his smile said differently.

Their conversation continued; ranging from what grades they received on their finals and what time they would meet up.

They decided on six.

But Bill was late. Bill was never late.

“Where’s Bill?”

The Losers were squeezed together in one of the booths the lounge area of the arcade had to offer. Beverly and Ben’s shoulders pressed together while they sucked down the same strawberry milkshake. Mike sat beside the couple, because neither Stan nor Eddie would, while picking through the fries to find the crispy ones.

Eddie, Stan, and Richie sat on the other side. Stan kept complaining to Mike about how he “shouldn’t touch every one of the fries” and that he was “hogging all the good ones.” Eddie, on the other hand, ran his mouth about the multiple diseases Ben and Beverly could catch from sharing their food (or anything for that matter).

“Probably getting one-off in the bathroom with—”

“Beep Beep, R-Richie!” It was the man of the hour. Bill silenced his friend to which the rest of the group was thankful for. Even though Richie’s anecdotes could be entertaining, they did not want to hear about their friend’s sex life: made up or not.

“Hey, Big Bill!” Richie turned a ninety in his seat to see the look on his friend’s face, but he didn’t expect to be met with the scene of Bill and his arm wrapped around some girl. A hot one at that.

Bill kissed her temple before directing his attention to the group. “Everyone, th-th-this is—”

“I’m y/n.”

“Mmm-my guh-girlfriend.” Bill said this almost too proudly.

“I didn’t know Billiam was actually capable of getting some.” Richie fell into a fit of laughter and held up his hand for a round of high fives he was expecting. But instead of a slap on the back and a “good one, Rich”, Richie was given a variety of bored and ‘are-you-serious’ looks.

“Anyway,” Stan broke the silence. “y/n, you wanna pull up a chair? Sorry, we didn’t get a table big enough…”

“It’s ff-ine,” Bill said as he was climbing into the booth next to Richie. “There’s room.” He gave y/n a suggestive look, raising his eyebrows and the corners of his mouth upturned slightly. His girlfriend ducked her head; embarrassed in front of Bill’s friends she had never met before. She could feel her cheeks heating up and the group’s stare on her when she went to sit on Bill’s lap.

To that, Richie whistled and said, “What’s next, are you gonna make her give you a lap dance?” Anger took over Bill’s body. His muscles tensed under his skin and it became harder to conceal his scowl. “Don’t worry, doll.” Richie started whispering into y/n’s ear. “If Bill gets hard you won’t—you won’t notice since he’s —”

Richie couldn’t finish his sentence. Partly because his laughing prevented him from doing so. Bill had also jabbed him in the shoulder causing Richie to pull away from the couple.

“Gee, Bill, I didn’t know you could—”

“Richie, that’s enough!” Bill, no longer able to keep his composed expression, raised his voice.

All the Losers watched intently. Bill never raised his voice, so to say that this was a rare occasion was just as much of an understatement as saying, “Stan liked birds.”

“Luh-look, Richie, I th-th-hink you’re a funny guy. A li-little too vulgar fo-or my taste, but yo-you make the room laugh. But luh-late-ly you’ve been making a lot of juh-jokes regarding muh-me—”

“Or what you don’t have.”

“Th-this is what I’m ta-talking ab-out.” Bill watched his friend sternly, waiting for an apology. Even the smallest sorry would be good enough for him.

Richie stayed silent.

“You… you know, it-it’s funny that you muh-make all th-these jokes ab-about mm-me when you’ve nev-her had a girlfr-hend. God, Richie, cuh-can you even guh-get a girl to… to like yo-you back?” He recalled all the times Richie had been rejected. How Richie must be the least desirable kid in school with his track record of turn downs.

Stillness filled the air. Aside from Bill’s lengthy speech, none of the Losers had said anything for the past five minutes. What was there to say? Even Richie was left speechless.

“We’ll b-be guh-going now.” y/n slid off Bill’s lap. She waited passively for him as he got up from his seat. Bill wasted no time for goodbyes. He walked out of the door with a swagger that none of the Losers had seen on him before. But y/n stayed behind, awkwardly shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

“It was nice meeting you all…” Her attempt to ease the uneasiness between them was admirable. “I hope we can do this again sometime, yeah?” She was a sweet girl. The words that left her mouth were... genuine, not just being said because of the unexpected outburst at the table.

She parted from the group shortly after, not wanting to keep Bill waiting long. Richie’s eyes were glued to y/n’s backside while she pranced towards the door. The way her hips swayed were captivating and even though her dress was loose it was just short enough to—

“Richie, you’re staring.”

“Am I?” Richie averted his eyes away from Bill’s girlfriend, now finding the voice who’d scolded him.

“Yes, and it’s disgusting,” Stan scoffed. He shot Richie a glare but not his usual glare. Stan was actually disgusted. His eyes were squinted slightly, and Richie could tell his brain was trying to figure out what was going on in Richie’s own.

“Okay, everyone agrees with me that y/n is way too hot for Bill, right?” Richie asked the group. A little gossip never hurt anyone right?

But the responses were lackluster.

“I think Bill and y/n look cute together!” Beverly was the first one to defend Bill. Ben nodded after her because let’s be honest, that boy agreed with everything she said just to keep himself on her radar.

“I don’t feel comfortable talking about this behind Bill’s back.” Mike was next and he wore an uncomfortable look on his face. Multiple Losers (everyone except for Richie) had agreed with him on that one.

“y/n seems nice—”

“Exactly!” Richie could almost jump out of his seat as he cut Eddie off. “Bill doesn’t deserve her!”

“I think someone’s jealous.” Richie snapped his head to look at Stan who wasn’t doing the same. He was too busy wiping off the condensation from his drink glass.

“Why would you say that?” Richie’s eyebrow rose at the accusation and there became a burning need for an answer that grew inside him. The rest of the Losers had also become intrigued.

“First of all, you think she’s hot—”

“Richie thinks anything with legs is hot,” Eddie said, and everyone forgot what the conversation was about for a moment as they took a minute to laugh at his remark.

“Richie, why don’t you think y/n’s good enough for Bill?” Stan asked.

There was no response while Ben, Beverly, Eddie, Mike, and Stan had their eyes on him. Although Richie usually handled himself well under pressure and in social situations, he felt a bad concoction of the coke he had just downed and the fries he was snacking on creeping their way back up his throat for a second taste.

“Hey, Stanny, I didn’t ask for ya to go all Freud on me.” Richie chuckled; trying to brush off the funny feeling in his stomach.

Richie felt a sort of relief wash over him when he was let off the hook. Ben and Beverly were playing a game of tic tac toe on a napkin and Mike, Stan, and Eddie found themselves in a three-way debate: Jurassic Park versus Jaws. Eddie was offering The Wizard of Oz to the table since his mom hadn’t let him watch either yet, but Stan and Mike wouldn’t budge.

But it didn’t help that Richie’s thoughts drifted back to Bill’s words earlier that night. God, Richie, cuh-can you even guh-get a girl to… to like yo-you back? Could he? A swarm of unwanted memories infiltrated his mind. Cierra from math class who had laughed in his face after he said, “Are you a forty-five angle? Because you’re a-cute-y.” Or when he asked out Elle, his longtime crush, to homecoming only to be told she had a boyfriend. The list goes on.

Those words apparently had such an impact on Richie because they followed him to the weekend which was spent laying on his bed as Bill’s voice echoed through Richie’s brain over and over again.

You… you know, it-it’s funny that you muh-make all th-these jokes ab-about mm-me when you’ve nev-her had a girlfr-hend.

“Never had a girlfriend, huh?” Richie thought aloud to himself in the safety of his own room. Just like a lightbulb would, Richie’s eyes lit up as an idea took place in his head. It was totally selfish, evil, and went heavily against the ‘bro code’. But who would Richie be to not go through one of his plans?

The bell signaling dismissal had just rung when Richie finalized his plan.

Meet y/n at her locker.

Drive her home from school.

Show her what she’s missing.

Serve Bill some sweet, sweet revenge.

Richie was the first one out the door—as always. But instead of his usual pace which solely relied on his long legs to carry him, he dashed for the hallway—like a prisoner making a break for it.

After peering through the sea of people long and hard, he spotted the same silky hair and small figure he’d seen the other night at the arcade.

“Hey, beautiful.” Richie propped himself against the row of lockers attached to y/n’s.

“I have a name.” And if it weren’t for the smile on her lips, Richie would’ve thought she was actually annoyed at him.

“You got a ride tonight?”

She shook her head while closing the door to her locker. “Yeah, actually.” y/n swung her backpack strap over her arm. “My boyfriend’s taking me home.” She felt the blood rush to her cheeks, and she wouldn’t be surprised if her face turned a bright shade of red in front of this boy.

“That’s a shame.” A disappointed clicking sound left his mouth. “I got a seat next to me in my car that’s calling your name.”

“Maybe tomorrow?” y/n offered. Her tone sounded just as angelic as it did the other night.

“I’ll hold you to that.” Richie left y/n with a wink and nothing more.

Richie, did in fact, hold y/n to that. And to Richie’s surprise, y/n did keep her word. The next day followed like the last. His shoulder slanted against the metal doors while he watched the girl pack her stuff. Even her smallest actions were mesmerizing.

“You know, doll, I’m surprised you took me up on this offer.”

“Oh, really?” y/n’s eyebrow raised slightly, almost as if she were challenging him.

“Kind of.” Richie forced himself to chuckle. He turned so that his back was now held up by the lockers. “Won’t your boyfriend be mad?” He was now rethinking his plan. This awful plan of his that would most likely be the end of his and Bill’s-

“Nah.” The sound of metal slamming startled Richie and he was now standing upright. “Besides, what Billy doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” She threw a suggestive wink in his direction. Did Billy know his girlfriend was a cheater?

“Jeepers, babe. Don’t tell me you’re only kidding.” A quizzical look sprawled itself across Richie’s face and his eyes searched hers as if he were looking for something.

A giggle so saccharine it was probably drenched in maple syrup beforehand left the girl’s glossy lips. “I’m joking.” She shoved Richie with her elbow as they walked side by side. “Bill doesn’t know.” Her voice lowered, “but you’re his friend so it’s not like that matters, right?”

“You betcha’.” Richie had to swallow down one of his stupid remarks just to make himself sound convincing. He looked down, once they’d got to his car, and tried the handle only to be met with the fact it wouldn’t budge. A string of curses fell off his dirty mouth and he could hear a series of muffled laughs coming from the other side. “Ha. Ha. Laugh all you want, hot stuff, I’m here all week.” It took Richie long enough to realize that his car was locked.

Begrudgingly, he fished the keys from his pockets and finally got the door open.

“You’re a great chauffeur.” y/n rolled her eyes while buckling her seatbelt. “Hot!” She seethed, cradling her left hand that touched the hot metal from the buckle with her right.

“Aw. You need someone to kiss it better?” Richie cooed, delicately taking her hand in his.

“I’m good.” If y/n were any other girl Richie swore she would’ve flicked his head and called him an idiot. Instead, she coyly retracted her hand and looked out the window—actively facing away towards him.

A few seconds of quietness passed between them before y/n decided to break it. “So, tell me, Rich.” Richie had to keep himself from taking his eyes off the road. “Why’d you offer to drive me home?”

“Is chivalry so dead I can’t drive a gal home?”

“I mean…” She took a moment to stare at the car’s ceiling so she could find the right words. “Bill’s your best friend.”

“Don’t pretend what happened on Friday, like, didn’t fuckin’ happen.” Richie was being sarcastic, of course.

“I know he said some harsh words but—”

“Hey.” His voice calmed. “If Bill and I are best friends, then he shouldn’t have a problem with this. Right?” Richie looked over at y/n to see if she’d agree with him. “Right?”

“Okay,” she gave in. She shrugged her shoulders and rolled her eyes, but it was enough confirmation for him.

“So, what’s the story between you and Big Bill?” Richie drummed on the steering wheel while y/n mulled over an answer.

y/n felt herself shy away at the question and as she recalled the events of Bill asking her out.

They first met in chemistry. Somehow, y/n had managed to let the dean switch her schedule so late in the year since Henry Bowers had accidentally spilled an aluminum chloride mix on her brand-new jeans.

“I’ll be deciding your lab partners today. Ever since last time I don’t think I can trust you guys to pick your own partners anymore.” Mr. Davis looked tired and y/n couldn’t blame him. In her head, she kept track of everyone who got paired together. Once he’d gotten to Gretta Keene, she soundlessly thanked god that she had been paired with Stacy. “y/n y/l/n and Bill Denbrough.”

y/n almost missed the bored voice as she was too lost in her thoughts.

Bill Denbrough?

Her eyes curiously darted around the room, searching for the sea of students in the desks surrounding her.

A pair of bright blue eyes finally caught hers. A pair of bright blue eyes that had to belong to Bill Denbrough.

“You-you’re y/n, rih-right?” Bill was now standing in front of her. She didn’t realize when he got up from his seat.

“Yeah.” y/n stood up to reach his eye, but she still stood noticeably shorter than him.

Bill’s once apprehensive demeanor visibly morphed into an expression filled with calmness and relief. Aside from his friends, she was the only other person who wasn’t impatient with his stutter. He felt he could immediately be vulnerable with her—not that he would be. But if this chemistry lab were the only time he would find himself interacting with this girl, Bill would seriously beat himself up for it.

The rest of their story was, essentially, history.

y/n liked having Bill as a lab partner. He was smart. He did his share, unlike her past partners who would pass notes to pass the period while y/n slaved away on the project by herself. He also didn’t hold any of the chemicals they were working with dangerously close to her, pretending as if he were going to spill them on her and then actually spill them on her.

It was on a Thursday morning when Bill met y/n on her way into school. Even though his watch showed seven-thirty am, the moon was still out and the only light in the sky was from the lampposts cemented into the sidewalk.

“H-hey, y/n!” It was odd to be as enthusiastic as he was this early, but y/n brushed it off—it must be post-coffee jitters and the effect was still wearing away.

“Hello.” Her voice still had a tiredness to it from when you first wake up in the morning.

“I was… I was won-wondering ih-if you wuh-would…”

“Yes?” y/n prompted. She glanced at him, making eye contact, which only worsened Bill’s nervousness.

“Would… would yo-you want to go ou-out wih-with me?”

Waiting for an answer felt like forever.

“I thought you’d never ask!” y/n beamed, and all signs of grogginess seemed to leave her body.

From then on, Bill and y/n went on dates. They were casual for the most part. y/n never felt the need to dress up and Bill never felt the need to buy her flowers. The only thing he did end up getting her was a stuffed bear which was twice her size.

The carnival would only be in town for a few days and y/n practically begged Bill to go—not that he needed much convincing. You could count him in as long as she was there.

Bill didn’t normally bother with carnival games—he knew they were rigged. But maybe it was the way the carnie teen running the booth talked to y/n that night. Or maybe it was the way y/n stared adoringly for the stuffed animal hanging from the plastic tent. In either scenario, Bill still spent twenty-five bucks and wasted an hour in the frigid air to eventually hook the ring over the milk bottle and win y/n that stupid bear.

“I think I’ll call it Bill,” she whispered as she squeezed the plush doll close to her chest.

“I-it’s the luh-least you cuh-can do.” Bill wrapped his arm around her even though he was the cold one.

“Wuh-wuh-we’re here,” Richie said. His voice masked with Bill’s stutter pulled y/n out of her dream-like state.

“That’s not nice, Rich.” But y/n couldn’t help to let out the smallest of laughs. She unbuckled her seatbelt only to find it wasn’t her house he drove her to once she opened her side of the door. “This isn’t my house.”

“Oh… it isn’t?” Richie never missed a beat; making sure to put on his ‘I’m-a-big-stupid-head’ act that his teachers never bought. It was worth a try.

“Take me home.” y/n crossed her arms and kept herself planted in the passenger seat of Richie’s car, which was just Wentworth’s old one that he’d given to his son once he splurged on a new one.

“Shit, toots. I thought you’d wanna stay a while. Have some fun.” Richie wiggled his eyebrows and wore a clown’s grin. How could she say no to him?

“We can have fun another time.” Like that apparently. “I really do need to get home, though.”

Richie’s been rejected loads of times before and he’s resented every one of them. He couldn’t resent y/n though—with her puppy dog eyes and the way she had him like a worm on a hook. She was something else.

“Alright.” Richie gave in. He keyed the ignition and started for the road again. His arm slung around y/n’s seat as he backed up and y/n couldn’t help but feel fuzzy at the small action. “So, you’re tellin’ me Big Bill never got you flowers?” Richie’s eyes never left the road no matter how much he wanted to stop the car and pin y/n down right then and there.

“Nope,” y/n said, popping the ‘p’ sound. “But I don’t mind.”

y/n minded.

Richie could tell she minded when he greeted her at her locker with a bouquet of daisies. He was sure if y/n didn’t already have a boyfriend she would’ve jumped him right then and there.

Oh right. Boyfriend.

“Are these for me?” y/n gasped, in awe at the dinky looking bouquet. It was just ten flowers held together with the same twine you’d use to tie a package with, but it was ten flowers she’d cherish.

“Who else would they be for, sugar?” Richie scoffed and handed off his homemade bouquet to the most stunning girl he’d laid eyes on.

y/n gave him a sly look and shoved him in the arm.

“Are you ready to go?”

“Ready to go where?” A look of confusion was drawn on her face and Richie couldn’t tell if she was joking or not.

“I’m takin’ you home again, aren’t I?” But Richie was disappointed when y/n just chuckled in response instead of interlocking hands with his and skipping off into the sunset with him.

“I didn’t know you changed your name to Bill.” y/n brought the daises up to her nose. They didn’t have a scent, but her eyes fluttered at the petals tickling her nose and her stomach did backflips.

“Bill-Bill’s taking you?” His expression faltered and he had to swallow to keep his cool.

“I don’t know who else would,” y/n said this as if she just forgot what happened yesterday.

“I’ll be going then.” Richie pointed to behind him with his thumbs and looked back. He took one last look at y/n until he noticed a Bill Denbrough coming into view: a sign he really needed to leave.

His head hung low and his back hunched forward as he walked out the doorway. It was useless. y/n was utterly in love with his best friend while he was—was he in love with y/n?

No.

Richie Tozier does not love unless it’s his mom and rock n’ roll vinyls.

And y/n did not love Richie Tozier.

Richie felt himself mope all the way home at the thought of him being unlovable. Hell, he moped all the way to the weekend.

After his last encounter with y/n, Richie couldn’t bear to face her again. Embarrassment filled his chest every time Bill mentioned her at lunch, and he felt like shoving himself in a locker any time he spotted her in the halls.

That was until seeing her became unavoidable.

At first it was at the quarry.

Stan had already arranged for the group to meet up over the weekend and of course none of the Losers would pass up an opportunity to hang out with each other.

What Richie didn’t know was that Bill would be bringing his girlfriend. It seemed he’d be doing that a lot from now on.

“Is bringing y/n gonna be, like, a regular thing?” Eddie whispered in Bill’s ear.

Bill laughed awkwardly, unsure if he should reconsider taking y/n to the next hangouts he’d already planned to. “Wuh-when yo-you start dating, yo-you’ll under-sta-hand.” Bill then gave Eddie a pat on the back and walked off, looking for a rock he could leave his clothes on before he started for the water.

“Yeah, Eddie.” Stan laughed from behind Bill. “Wait until you’re older. Then, maybe, you’ll understand.”

Richie, on the other hand, was watching his friends from afar. He became uncharacteristically quiet as soon as y/n and Bill showed up. Only until Bev called that the last one in would be a rotten egg was when he finally shed himself of his clothes and raced the others to the water.

“Guess you’re the rotten egg, Eds!” Richie swam over to Eddie, splashing him in the face while doing so. Anything that would distract him from y/n would do. Even if it was a stupid conversation like this to pass the time.

“I told you to not call me that,” Eddie said crossly. “And if you’re going to splash like that, aim anywhere else but my face because who knows what’s been in this water—”

“Yeah, yeah. Cute story, Eds.” But Richie didn’t care for yet another lecture of Eddie’s. His eyes began to wonder. He was looking for y/n and good grief he had to stop himself before he was in too deep.

But it was a little late for that.

“Are you even listening to me?” Eddie swatted at Richie’s arm just like the times Richie had done to him.

“No,” Richie admitted.

Luckily, the contact between him and y/n had been limited. The only time he had to talk to her was when he was about to part from the group and say his goodbyes.

“Looks like I gotta blast, guys.” Richie looked down to the wristwatch Stan was wearing and Stan sneered at his friend for standing so close to him.

“Bye!” y/n was the last to call out, but her voice was the most prominent of the group’s.

The next two times the group met up, y/n included, Richie had also been able to get by with the least interactions as possible between her and him.

It was only until one lowly Sunday night when Bill and y/n had gotten into a fight when avoidance had become impossible for Richie.

“I can’t believe you would say that about me!” y/n had somehow accomplished being louder than the music blasting from the jukebox sitting in the back of the arcade and the sound of machines running combined. “I thought you were better than that, Bill.”

“I-I don’t guh-guh-get wuh-why you’re s-so off-f-hended.” Bill maintained a calm composure which only bothered y/n more.

“I think it’s the fact that you think I’m a prude that offends me so much.” y/n scoffed. Her arms were crossed, and she wore a stare that could kill.

“Yo-you know… i-if you-you’re so mm-mad I don’t underst-stand why you cuh-came.” The anger bubbling inside y/n started to radiate onto Bill.

“Because we have to talk about it!” She grabbed onto Bill’s arm when he tried to walk off.

“Can’t wuh-we juh-juh-just talk about th-this later?” Bill said in a growl. But later for him meant never.

The beginnings of what felt like tears started to form in y/n’s eyes. She let go of Bill’s arm and took a deep breath. “Okay,” she whispered, “we can talk later.”

Richie watched his best friend and girlfriend argue for what seemed like forever but was only about five minutes. He’d witnessed arguments before but none of them ended like this. When the couples at school argued they would usually make out right after. But this was different. y/n was hurt, and Bill was beyond annoyed.

“Hey.” Richie walked up to y/n as soon as Bill joined Stan and Mike for skee ball. “What was…” He traced his fingers against the brail of one of the arcade machines, doing everything he could do evade eye contact. “What was that about?”

“Will you take me home if I tell you?” A stray tear made its way down y/n’s hot cheek.

“Sure thing, babe.” Richie offered his hand for y/n to take. She did; her fingers intertwined with his and the pad of her thumb ran along the rough skin of the back of his hand.

When the two got to his car, Richie opened the door for y/n (as a gentleman should). This was followed up by a thank you and a shy smile.

“So, I’ll listen while you just sit back, enjoy the drive, and pour your goddamn heart out to me.” Richie started to turned his keys into the ignition. “Sound good, sweetheart?”

y/n’s heart jumped a beat and she could feel herself grow near feverish. She fiddled with her thumbs and swallowed her spit, hoping she’d find the courage to soon speak.

“It started last night,” her meek voice spoke up. y/n’s eyes were glued to Richie’s dashboard. It was covered in dust. “I was at Bill’s house and it was getting late.”

Bill craned his neck so he could find the time on his alarm clock that sat on his nightstand. He could’ve just asked y/n to check, but she seemed so at peace. He didn’t want to disturb her.

“It’s nine,” he said. His lips touched the shell of her ear, making y/n shiver.

“Should I go home?” y/n asked. She perked up and rubbed her eyes. She’d been dozing off, but even in a tired state, Bill found her perfect.

“Nah.” Bill tightened his already tight embrace on her. “I-I can tth-hink of some-something we can d-do.” He ducked his head so he could brush his lips against the sensitive skin on her neck.

y/n winced at his touch. Yet she still turned within his hold and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?” Her voice hushed and fragile.

“Yuh-yeah,” Bill said shamelessly. He cradled her head in his palm. His blue eyes bore into hers. The same blue eyes that had found her when their chemistry teacher paired them together. “C’m-mmon.”

“Bill, I…” y/n’s eyes danced across his features. His beautiful features she’d grown infatuated with from the moment they met. “We’ve gone over this, I thought.” Any sort of confidence she had was now lost.

Bill took a moment to study the girl in front of him. He loosened his hold around her and sat up, propping himself against his headboard. “I f-feel like we… like I’ve juh-just been wuh-wuh-waiting.”

y/n copied her boyfriend’s movements, making sure to not break their gaze as she adjusted herself. “And I respect that,” she said softly.

“Yeah b-but yo-you’re muh-my girlfriend.” He took her hand in his. “I wuh-wanna do guh-girlfriend and b-boyfr-hend things.”

“I thought we did do ‘girlfriend and boyfriend things.’” y/n’s left eyebrow started to raise.

“Th-there’s only s-s-so muh-many times a guh-guy can get himself o-off.” Bill immediately regretted the words that had just walked right out of his mouth and presented themselves to his girlfriend.

“Bill…” But that’s all y/n could seem to say. She sat there, confused. Bill would never say something like that. But he just did. The Bill y/n knew was kind, thoughtful, and patient. This wasn’t the Bill she knew.

“Do-do you tr-trust me?” Concern struck Bill’s face.

y/n was conflicted. “Trust doesn’t equal sex, Bill.” She drew her hand away from his and started mindlessly picking at the skin on her thumb. She got up from the bed and made her way to the door. Bill couldn’t quite read her expression as she did, but just her getting up was enough for him to tell she didn’t want to be around him.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow?”

y/n nodded before walking out.

But tomorrow was just as bad, or even worse, than that night.

y/n had spent the whole night ruminating over what Bill had said, and once he had arrived at her house, she was livid.

“What did you mean? Last night?” y/n began the car ride with a debriefing.

“I-it was s-stu-stupid, r-really,” Bill said nonchalantly.

“No.” y/n was relentless. “What did you mean?”

“I wuh-was ho-horny, y/n/n. B-but, god. It wuh-wouldn’t kuh-kill you t-to not be a pr-prude ff-or once i-in your luh-life.” y/n couldn’t believe what bullshit her boyfriend was spouting at her.

“Our fight continued until we got to the arcade,” y/n said, still sobbing from her previous encounter with Bill.

Richie was at a loss for words. All he could do was keep his eyes on the road and drive the two to their destination, which didn’t take long. Either y/n’s house was closer than he thought or just her company made ten minutes feel like three.

“Stop here,” y/n informed.

Richie slowed to a stop in front of a two-story house that looked like the others it was built next to. There was a bench swing that hung from the patio roof and a family of potted plants that resided in one corner of the porch. The house’s paint was dull and lifeless, resembling the rest of Derry.

“Thanks for taking me home.” y/n spoke again, drawing Richie from his thoughts of wondering what her room looked like.

“Ye-yeah. No problem-o.” He took in a deep breath and tapped his foot against the floor of his car.

y/n leaned over, as much as her seatbelt let her, and felt her lips graze his cheek.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Richie was quick to pull away. He stared at y/n with his big doe eyes and her glassy, soulful ones helped his case none. Isn’t this what he wanted?

“Really, Rich.” y/n then made sure to take off the seatbelt which was restraining her from doing anything further and scooted closer to him, ignoring how uncomfortable the gear stick felt as it dug into her thigh. “You’re sweet.”

“Well, I don’t like to brag but I do pride myself on being-“ y/n cut him off with a kiss to his lips this time. Richie sighed into her mouth. He knew it was wrong, but he just couldn’t help it.

God, Richie, cuh-can you even guh-get a girl to… to like yo-you back? The words he’d clung onto ever since that one Friday night made their way back to his frontal lobe. It must’ve been a month, yet the sentence stuck.

And Richie kissed back.

He swore he heard the faint sounds of fireworks clapping in the distance as his lips pushed into hers. Her soft, pouty lips that sent tingles down his back every time they connected with his. Richie’s right arm coiled itself around the small of y/n’s back and he found his left hand stroking her cheek. And just as fast as y/n planted one on him, she sprung back.

“You alright?” No, she’s not alright, dumbass. She just got into her first fight with her boyfriend and she’s coming to his best friend as a therapy session.

Much to Richie’s dismay, y/n nodded. “Your car’s uncomfortable.” Was all she said before opening the door to let herself out. Richie was about to curse himself out for letting her slip through his fingers and kissing his best friend’s girlfriend until he flinched at the sound of a knock on his car window.

It was y/n.

She opened the door for him like he had once done for her and waited for him to join her in the now moonlight. “Do you want to come in?”

“Christ.” Before then, Richie had never been so fast to take off a seatbelt.

The two hurried up the lawn and eventually her porch. Richie’s hand was squeezed by y/n’s smaller one. He reveled in the feeling of her holding onto him as if he were to float off if she didn’t. The two stood outside her front door like a shy kid, hesitant to ring the doorbell because it’s their first time over.

“Are your parents home?” Richie questioned, trying to get a peek through the windows even though they were closed off by the curtain.

“I don’t know,” y/n mumbled while she riffled through her mini purse. She was searching for the house key. “Finally!” She held up her key chain proudly before inserting the shiny, golden key striped with white nail polish into the lock. “Stay.” She looked to Richie like he was a puppy in training school.

y/n walked in reluctantly. Her hands messed with the strap of her purse. “Hello? Is anyone home?” She looked around the house for any sign of her parents. After a good few seconds, y/n turned to Richie with a slap happy grin on her face. “The coast is clear!”

Richie strolled in, acting as if he had all the time in the world. He made sure to shut the door behind him and y/n grabbed him by the collar as soon as he finished locking it. “My room is upstairs,” she said in between a needy kiss.

Richie didn’t need to be told twice as he ran up the wooden stairs with her. She surprised him with her lips on his once they got to the top. Her tongue swiped his bottom lip to which Richie granted access. y/n grew hungry with lust as her tongue danced with his. The only reason she broke apart from him was to better guide him to her bedroom. Surely, they couldn’t have sex in the hallway.

Richie was given no time to admire the yellow paint and magazine clippings that decorated y/n’s room. Instead, he was left to find y/n’s sweet spot and the lingering scent of her vanilla perfume as his lips roamed every crevice of her skin. He brought her down to her bed and he knows he’s never seen such beauty when her hair fans out against her sheets in every which way.

“Rich.” His name only leaves her lips when his aren’t on her. The same lips he’s tasted a thousand times already but would always be surprised at the taste the next time they collide. The same lips Bill’s claimed.

But this was Richie’s turn.

y/n’s hands dared reached for his dark roots, eliciting a moan from Richie that was downright animalistic.

“God, Rich. I didn’t even do anything,” y/n said, playing the innocent card.

“We can do something about that.” Richie offered. He licked the desperation from his lips as he waited for an answer.

“Okay.” y/n giggled and lifted her arms up. A sign for Richie to find the goddamn clue and undress her already.

Richie complied. He begged his excitable hands to stop shaking as he began to raise the fabric, revealing just how perfect y/n really was. Eagerly, his lips urged a kiss to hers once he got both their shirts off. It was quick and the start of his trail of kisses which lead down, down, down. His chapped lips tickled against the sensitive skin of her breast.

His mouth wrapped around the petal, causing y/n to squirm, entangling their legs together.

“Do you like that?” Richie teased. y/n moaned in response.

Taking the hint, Richie parted from her left nipple and began giving her right the same attention.

“Rich—” y/n was cut off by her own sigh of pleasure. “Do something.” Her voice was breathy and not at all stable. Richie grinned. He could listen to the noises she made any day.

Reluctantly, he broke his contact with her so he could undo his jeans. The sound of denim hitting the floor made y/n groan and she pulled him close again. They laid skin to skin. Richie was so close, y/n could tell he’d been smoking earlier.

Her arms encapsulated him and if this were any other girl under any other circumstance, Richie would’ve questioned it. But this was y/n.

He dipped down so he could connect his lips with hers and he could feel ten crescent shaped markings carving into the skin of his back. He didn’t have to be told twice to give y/n what he knew she wanted.

Richie slowly peeled off y/n’s skirt, the gradual pace left her yearning for him even more. He slid his index and middle fingers in at the same speed he took off the skirt.

y/n threw her head back at the touch. The whines escaping from her mouth egged Richie on even more.

Faster, faster, faster.

His thumb swept against her clit in circular motions. His strokes against her sensitive nerves drawing y/n closer to the edge. Her hips jerked up to feel closer to his touch. Her want had Richie chuckling. No girl would give him the time of day before her. Richie wanted to bask in the feeling forever.

“Do something, Rich.” y/n gasped and attached her lips to his neck. “Please.” Richie’s breath hitched in his throat at the request.

He hesitantly pulled his fingers from her heat, replacing them with him. Her folds slicked his length as she willingly let him stretch her walls.

“You’re so hot,” Richie whispered into y/n’s ear. He cringed at the words once he heard himself. “You feel so good.” The affirmations sent shivers down her spine. y/n fell into a state of bliss as his speed picked up. He hiked her legs up his waist and she ardently wrapped them around him.

His pace quickened. Richie felt like he was going to explode and the girl beneath him was close.

“Rich, Rich, Rich.” His name rolled off her tongue wonderfully and he would give anything to hear it til the end of time. Another cry fell from her beautifully parted lips. “Rich, I’m—”

“I know, doll face.” He placed a gentle kiss to her forehead while he pulled out. He took his thumb from previously, rubbing the bundle of nerves until she matched his high.

He collapsed onto the covers next to her as soon as they both finished. A final grunt escaped his throat while doing so.

The two were spread across y/n’s bed in silence for a while. y/n stared aimlessly at the ceiling; Richie doing the same. It had just then occurred to Richie that he fucked his best friend’s girlfriend. Guilt took the form of a teenage boy as he looked over at y/n. He still couldn’t help but think of how alluring she was. There was mascara smudged beneath her eyes. Sweat running down her brow bone. And her hair was a mess. He had more than enough energy to go at it again, but he knew better than that.

This was Richie’s cue to leave. He got up, throwing on his clothes. He didn’t even care that his shirt was on inside out. He just needed to get out of there.

He was almost out the door until a voice stopped him in his tracks.

“Rich.” The same voice he’d give anything to hear for eternity.

“Yeah, baby?” Richie was about to curse himself out for calling her that if she hadn’t replied so soon.

“I won’t tell if you won’t.” He could’ve creamed himself at the words. He could’ve ripped off his clothes again and taken her once more.

But Richie knew better than that.

He didn’t even look back; only nodded and strolled out the door as if nothing happened. Because as far as Bill was concerned, nothing happened.

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i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend · 4 years

Text

Carnival of Hearts (Part 6/6) ~ Bucky x Sam, Steve x Reader College!AU

A/N: Hello lovelies! Sorry I’m late. This week was crazy. I plan to be back on schedule this week, but we shall see.

This is my entry for @buckysknifecollection ‘s 3k Follower Challenge. Congrats on the milestone lovely! Go check out the blog. Personal fave is Hush (a must read if you’re into soft!Biker!Bucky) Also HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Prompt: Our friends set us up on this carnival date but we’re both pining after someone else and this a bit awkward

Summary: When you’re set up on a carnival date with Bucky Barnes NOTHING turns out the way you expected.

Rating: T

Warnings: Language

Word count: 1216

Story Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Lunch was leisurely and loud. The six of you meshed well and it was as if you had been friends for ages. Bucky and Steve got on like a house on fire, and while Sam seemed wary of you, you earned a few smiles when you started discussing your addiction to Food Network.

“So where should we go next?” Wanda asked as she licked her fingers.

“They have that photo pavillion set up with costumes.”

“Oh that’s right. I want to be a saloon girl.”

“Does anyone else want to come?”

Bucky shook his head.

“I was actually going to try to get the teacups in before heading over to the swings. You up for it, Sammy?”

He was caught off guard for a moment before a wide grin spread across his face.

“You know those are my favorites.”

“I do,” Bucky agreed.

“Let’s do it then.”

“What about you two?” Natasha asked, tilting her head expectantly at you and Steve.

“I’m going to stay here and try not to fall into a food coma,” you yawned.

“And I’m with her,” Steve shrugged.

Natasha rolled her eyes.

“We’ll see you at the bonfire.”

“See you.”

As their footsteps faded, you patted your stomach as you hummed contentedly.

“Full, sweetheart?” he murmured in your ear.

“Mmm. I’m stuffed.”

“So no roller coasters just yet then?”

You shook your head. “No way.”

“Should we just sit here for a little bit.”

“Mhmm. That sounds nice.”

“Come here, then.”

You wrapped your arms around his elbow and leaned your head on his shoulder. You couldn’t help but smile when you felt him kiss the top of your head, before leaning his cheek there.

“Did you have a good day, sweetheart?”

“I did. Bucky’s a lot of fun.”

He hummed and was quiet for a moment. You felt him tense in your hold before he spoke again.

“Was today really a date?”

You took a deep breath, before pulling your face away so you could look at him.

“Yes, sort of.” You squeezed his arm. “Nat set me up with Bucky. But neither of us wanted to be on the date.”

“I’m… confused. I thought we were dating.”

“I know. Bucky told me.”

“What do you mean Bucky told you?”

He pulled away to look at you.

“Steve, I didn’t know that you thought we were dating.”

“I guess I was too subtle.”

It wasn’t an annoyed statement, more disappointed.

“It’s more complicated than that. I wondered if it might be romantic when Wednesdays became date night. But I also do that with Natasha so I thought maybe you just wanted some quality time.”

“And when we started cuddling in public and sleeping together?”

“I don’t know. I thought maybe. I knew what I wanted it to be, but I was terrified to ask.”

“I don’t understand, why?”

You couldn’t meet his eye.

“Y/n, talk to me,” he murmured, swiping his thumb over your cheekbone.

“I didn’t think you could possibly want me in the same way I want you.”

“Oh, sweetheart. I owe you an apology.”

“For what?”

“I was scared too. Couldn’t imagine you wanting me. But I knew I had to try. But I asked in a way that I could play it off if you said no. You were so excited about date night, and I guess deep down I knew that maybe you weren’t on the same page, but I didn’t want to risk losing what I had.”

“Steve,I love you.”

“I love you. And I want to be with you. I’m sorry I didn’t make that clear before.”

You closed the distance between you and kissed him.

“I want to be with you too.”

Bucky watched the two of you with a fond smile. He could only hope that he’d have an equally happy outcome. The concern twisted his smile into a grimace.

“Sorry about Y/n,” Sam murmured.

Bucky gave him a confused look.

“What are you sorry for?”

“It seemed like you two really hit it off.”

“She’s awesome. We really bonded.”

“But she and Steve are… you know,” he shrugged. “I’m surprised Wanda didn’t know.”

“Well… Y/n didn’t know either…”

“Wait, what?”

“Y/n didn’t think Steve liked her back. She was very surprised when I told her that they had been dating for two months,” Bucky chuckled.

“Man, I asked him how it went when he asked her out and he just said great. They had been totally on the same page. Hopeless.”

“To his credit, she said she ignored a lot of signs. She was worried she was reading things wrong,” Bucky admitted slowly.

“I get that,” Sam murmured. “Sometimes you’ve got to just say what you feel.”

“Even if it could ruin the best friendship you’ve ever had?”

Sam’s mouth opened but no sound came out. Bucky took his notebook from his pocket and opened it to the worn page.

“I haven’t been honest with you. And I’m still not sure what to say, so I think the best thing is for you to read it.”

Sam’s hands shook as he took the notebook, fingers running over the indents of the letters.

Forever and Never Again…

My heart and the sky thundering.

An alcove and your arms a safe haven.

A white hot kiss.

Your lips a brand - marking me beneath my skin.

Only I know it’s there.

It will be there forever.

Our bodies entwined.

Embedded in my memory.

Forever.

Your touch fleeting.

A whisper against my skin.

Never felt again.

My heart. Yours. Forever.

Your touch. Mine. Never again.

“Buck,” Sam whispered. “My heart is yours.”

Bucky felt the warm caress of Sam’s hand for just a moment before his lips crashed into his. His hand cupped the back of Sam’s neck, pulling him closer.

“I love you,” Bucky whispered when he pulled back, leaning his forehead against Sam.

“I love you too. I’ve been crazy about you for years. I thought that you didn’t want me. We made out at that party and then you iced me out. I thought I was just a drunken mistake.”

“That’s what I thought I was. And you acted so nonchalant about it. I didn’t want to be that guy who was all clingy and “what are we” over one kiss.”

“You’re everything to me.”

Epilogue

Natasha linked her arm through yours as you all walked back to the parking lot after the bonfire.

“You and Steve sure make a cute couple.”

“Thanks.” You couldn’t stop yourself from teasing her. “How does it feel to be wrong?”

“What was I wrong about?” She asked tilting her head.

“Me and Bucky. You said we were perfect for each other.”

“I did. I also said that he was exactly what you needed.”

“You did…”

“And he was. He got Steve to admit how he felt for real didn’t he?”

You stopped in your tracks and stared at her.

“You set me up.”

“Actually Wanda and I set all of you up,” she explained smugly.

“NAT!”

“What? Do you know how annoying it is to watch two people who are in love with each other not be together.”

“So this worked out just like you wanted.”

“Better than we could have dreamed.” She smiled smugly.

“I’m kinda mad. But thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

A/N: So there we have it! The dumbassery has been resolved. I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for reading it.

Carnival of Hearts

@deepmuffinspymaker @dee-vn @justab-eautifulmess @empath-bunny

Bucky/Sebastian Tag List

@waywardpumpkin @sadanddeadsoul @captain-maaarvel @isaxhorror @run-your-cleverboy @ria132love @mbsgr @hereisanapplepie @thejourneyneverendsx @stevieboyharrington @mywinterwolf @jendz33 @aikeia

Marvel Tag List

@hdthdthdt @sophiatomlinson23 @supermusicallee @scarlettsoldier @acupofhotlatte @slender--spirit @petitesmate @libbymouse

Permanent Tag List

@iamwarrenspeace @jayzayy @bexboo616 @neoqueen306 @santheweird @rowenaravencalw @buckitybarnes @prxttybirdz @sergeantjbuckybarnes @captainsamwlsn @nyxveracity @queenoftrash97 @walkingtravesty97 @memyselfandmaddox @lowkeybuckyb @whiskey2011 @averyrogers83 @buckybarneshairpullingkink @beansparker @coralphantomninja @xxashy999xx @thisismysecrethappyplace @ravennightingaleandavatempus @paintballkid711 @whosmarisaaarw @silverkitten547 @yknott81 @thefridgeismybestie @crispy-kitten @greyeyedsmile14 @loving-life-my-way @geeksareunique @rachelsficcollections @captainscanadian @palaiasaurus64 @sea040561 @kakakatey

#Bucky x Reader #Steve Rogers x Reader #Bucky x Sam #SamBucky #Bucky Barnes #Steve Rogers #Sam Wilson #Carnival of Hearts #buckysknifecollectionchallenge

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braincoins · 3 years

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So, I was thinking about what the elves in Dragon Age eat, especially Dalish elves and the possibility of traditional dishes. And after hashing some stuff out with @tybunnythehellmoose (my usual partner in crime... er I mean Creative Endeavors), here’s at least one thing. And before you ask, it’s absolutely canon in DA:S.

Warning: this got long, so it’s going under a cut. Still, at least some hilarity ensues? Ty and I think so anyway, and this is my blog so here we go:

Elves make honey-cakes. But they make them differently depending on if they're city or Dalish.

Dalish elves use flour ground from tree bark (the inner stuff, not the rough outer stuff, natch), fresh honey straight from the hive, and crushed nuts. It's more pan-fried than really baked, though they cover them while cooking so it's sort of a mix of the two. They're typically made one or two at a time, and usually only for celebrations and Arlathvens (a celebration of its own, really). City elves use milled wheat flour like humans do, jars of honey bought from merchants, and they often add jam fillings. Properly baked, often in small batches (six or so at a time), and so honey-cakes, while still a treat, can be had more often than just on special occasions (though they're as required as booze on such days, of course!). Dalish honey-cakes are crispier, especially on the edges, a bit plain to a city elf's taste, but mmm, fresh honey. City elf honey-cakes have a more even, consistent texture, softer and chewier, and more flavor because of the fillings. Besides that, there are variations among the different clans/alienages. For the city elves, it depends a lot on what they have access to. Denerim, being the capital of Ferelden and thus a major trade hub, often has lots of different flavors of fillings to choose from. Highever, known for its rather... harsher view on elves, saves the lowest quality flour for the elves in the alienage, so they make up for it with more honey and fillings, even if they don’t have quite the variety that Denerim has. Different alienages in different countries are the same way, showcasing the local flavors and preferences.

And, in general, city elves are pretty laidback about the differences in honey-cakes from alienage to alienage. Some may prefer the ones from their home alienage, the ones they grew up with, and some may find that a particular alienage’s variant is preferable. Individuals might have strong opinions, but, in general, your taste in honey-cakes is your taste in honey-cakes. [shrug]

Now, the Dalish, on the other hand...

Each clan follows the same basic recipe but different clans have access to different trees, different wild honeys, different nuts. Some might add more nuts, some fewer. Some swear by a particular method of grinding the flour, even! There’s a “friendly” rivalry amongst the clans about which clan’s honey-cake recipe is the “best,” though they’ve stopped having Best Honey-Cake Contests at Arlathvens because the judges always pick the honey-cakes from their own clans, so there’s never a winner.

And there are times that the “friendly” rivalry between the clans can near come to blows when they get heated, though eventually someone will stand up and say, “We are the descendants of the Elves of the Dales! We are not going to let a baked good tear us apart!” whereupon everyone else will agree, “No, no, you’re right, absolutely,” while adding, under their breath, “...but my clan’s honey-cakes are still the best.”

I'm just imagining Kiv going to the alienage in Denerim after everything's over and being like, "Oh, honey-cakes!! What's the occasion?" Baker: You tell me. Kiv: [confused] Why do you have honey-cakes for sale? Baker: Because I always do? Kiv: Wow. Okay, well, two honey-cakes then! One for me and one for my friend here. [turns to Alistair] You're gonna get to try a honey-cake! They are so good! Alistair: [looking forward to treat!] Baker: Sure, what flavors? Kiv: ...Honey? Baker: [snorts] Yes, darling? Kiv: N-no, I mean... Baker: Just teasin' ya. No, what flavors do you want? I got strawberry, blueberry, blackcurrant, apple... Alistair: Oooh, can I have an apple one? Baker: Comin' up! And for you, miss? Kiv: [still confused] Uh... blackcurrant? Baker: Sure thing! [puts two honey-cakes, each wrapped in cloth, on the counter] 5 bits. Kiv: [blinking at the honey-cakes, staring at them as if trying to detect a trap] Alistair: ... [goes ahead and pays for them and takes his apple one] Thank you! [bites into it] Oooh! This is good! Kiv: [takes the blackcurrant one, still eyeing it suspiciously. She sniffs at it] It... does smell a little like honey? Alistair: Ih guh! Kiv: Don't talk with your mouth full, ma vhenan [she says without looking at him. She takes a tentative bite of the honey-cake and recoils, sputtering in Elvish] City elves: [staring at the two of them. Well, mostly her] Kiv: What the...? What is...? Alistair: I guess they make 'em differently here? Kiv: A BIT! [she takes another bite, this one with some blackcurrant filling, and chews thoughtfully] It's... it's so sweet. By the Creators. [shakes her head] It's not bad but it's... it's not a honey-cake. Not the kind I'm used to anyway. A week later, she arranges for an extended camping trip: just her, her dog, and her puppy manchild. She brings along all the necessary equipment because she's going to let Alistair have a PROPER honey-cake, dammit.

Except it takes forever to gather enough bark and grind it into flour enough for even two honey-cakes, the area they're camping in doesn't have a lot of nuts, and all three of them get stung trying to gather honey. And that's before she sets about trying to cook the damn things. There's an art to making honey-cakes and it is not one she knows. And after all of that, when she finally gets a chance for Alistair to try a proper Dalish honey-cake (made by Velanna, this time, after she took the proper time and effort into gathering ingredients and cooking it), what does this shemlen have the NERVE to say?

Alistair: These are okay. Kiv: Well, they're [Velanna's clan] honey-cakes. Sabrae clan are better, of course. Alistair: I liked the other ones better. With the jam in the middle. Kiv: [Fantasy Version of Bluescreen of Death]

She doesn't kick him out of bed for that, but he sure as hell isn't getting any that night. Not even because she's trying to "punish" him for his opinion. She's just too busy stewing over it all. Alistair's trying to talk about it and she's just lost in her own thoughts about all this MADNESS. And the next morning, Alistair goes to talk with her about this whole thing. He’s worried that she’s really mad at him, and she assures him she’s not.

Alistair: You're... truly not upset with me because I liked the honey-cakes at the alienage better? Kiv: [laughs a little] Alistair, ma vhenan, why would I get angry at you over something like that? [hugs him] Ar lath ma. [leans up to kiss his cheek] Alistair: [smiles and leaves, happy] Velanna: [waits for it] Kiv: [smiling as she watches him leave] Velanna: [in Elvish, as soon as he’s gone] <<Ignorant humans have no idea what's actually good.>> Kiv: <<No idea whatsoever. It was terrible, not even crispy on the edges! And no nuts!>> Velanna: <<UGH!>> Kiv: <<I didn't fall in love with him for his taste in baked goods though. FORTUNATELY.>> Velanna: <<At least now he knows what a proper honey-cake tastes like.>> Kiv: <<Well. Close enough, anyway.>> Velanna: [arches an eyebrow] Kiv: [smiles] Velanna: [opens her mouth to protest] Kiv: I'm the Commander. Velanna: YOU CAN'T PULL RANK ABOUT HONEY-CAKES!! [In the other room] Nate: What are they arguing about? Alistair: YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW.

#Dragon Age #elves #Dalish #silliness

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burned-to-the-void · 4 years

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Siegemas Day 17

My prompt: “Everyone shut up and pretend to be happy.”

A pre-Christmas team dinner for GIGN, basically. Or, a tiny step in the process of being accepted.

2.4K words, G rated, no content warnings apply.

Thank you again @dualrainbow for giving me the opportunity to participate!!💙 I hope you guys enjoy my contribution to this wonderful event, and please go check their blog to read more from other talented writers if you haven’t yet, you won’t regret!

🎄 Happy Holidays, everyone ;)

~*~

Twitch leans forward with her hands on the counter, inspecting the food for the umpteenth time despite the fact she knows that everything is up to her standard, which can be considered a synonym for perfection. She has pestered Rook, who volunteered to help her preparing the food, enough times to ensure that. The pâté lorrain smells wonderful, just as her grandma’s used to do, and the roasted turkey, stuffed with plump chestnuts, looks almost heaven-sent with its skin crispy and glistening with rich fat. The desserts are already set on the plates―except for the chocolate mousse that’s still being chilled in the fridge―dazzling in their various colors and shapes.

Really, there is no reason to feel this nervous, it’s just another dinner with her teammates, not a cooking competition. No one is going to point out even if there is something that’s less than perfect, not even Lion would be that blunt.

He's really coming, isn't he. Reminded of the real reason behind her worry, Twitch has to suppress the urge to bury her face in her palms and groan, a bit over-dramatic as she's prone to be.

Inviting him didn’t seem like a bad idea, in the beginning. It’s not Lion himself that she'd like to avoid, it’s the inevitable tension that charges the air like static electricity when him and Doc are in each other’s vicinity, one that she can't help but pick up like a overly sensitive radar, putting her on edge as well. When Doc isn’t involved she has a nice working relationship with Lion, although they rarely interact in more personal settings, making today an unlikely exception.

It was Montagne who suggested that she should invite one more person to the team dinner, which she had meticulously planned out so they can celebrate together before they part ways to spend the actual Christmas with their respective families. Sensing her hesitation, he assured her that he'd have a talk with both of them in advance and personally see to it that they remain civil during the dinner, and this earnest promise from the most reliable man she’s ever known had been enough to persuade her.

Had been, that is, until some assholes decided to celebrate their holiday by threatening the local community with a thrilling promise of random bomb attacks, causing mass panic in the area, and along with several other operators Montagne was picked out to go and intervene. He tried to apologize before he leave, to which Twitch only shook her head because it wasn't his fault terrorists didn't give a shit about other people's holiday plans. But now that the drama of the evening is about to unfold, without him to defuse the situation if the things get heated, she can’t help but lament his absence a little.

“It’s going to be okay,” says Rook, bumping his shoulder with hers lightly, and places a tray of newly baked plum jam cookies on the counter. His eyes linger on them a bit too longingly, and Twitch sighs.

“I envy your optimism. You can have one now if you want, we’re one man short anyway.”

“Well, if you say so,” he grins, and reaches directly for the one that's practically oozing with ruby-red jam, as if he was just waiting for the cue. Twitch is opening her mouth to comment on it but that is the exact moment when the doorbell starts to ring, so she just rolls her eyes and hurries past him to greet the guest.

Doc is standing by the door, the tips of his ears reddened by the cold air but otherwise immaculate from head to toe, with a toned down blue scarf that actually matches the color of his coat, a feat not many men can achieve. Once again Twitch is reminded that without the near perpetual look of bone-deep tiredness he makes a strikingly handsome figure, even to eyes that are uninterested by principle.

Also, surprisingly, he isn't alone.

"We're not too late, are we?" To his credit, Doc's smile doesn't even look that much strained, despite his company.

"You two came together?" Twitch has to ask, blinking up at the hunched form of Lion who is tailing behind Doc, and for the lack of better word, sulking. Doc shakes his head with a chuckle.

"God, no. I just caught him fidgeting in front of the door."

"I didn't fidget," Lion mutters a protest, clearly still fidgeting. Doc, his smile somehow both sympathetic and smug, doesn't bother a reply but Lion glares at him as if he's heard one anyway. Twitch hastily beckons them inside to break the tension before it has a chance to develop.

Doc gives Twitch a quick hug on his way in, careful not to press her against the cold surface of his coat, and brushes past her into the dining room. When it's Lion's turn they both stare at each other, unsure, until he shoves a bottle of wine into her hand, almost as an afterthought.

"Thought I'd bring a gift," Lion explains with a sheepish expression.

"Thanks," Twitch arches her eyebrow, caught by surprise, albeit a pleasant one. Lion nods, looking satisfied, and follows Doc before she can find any more words to add.

"Mmm, something smells wonderful in here," Doc comments, taking his gloves off and rubbing his cold hands together.

"Hey, guys," Rook sticks his head out from the kitchen, oblivious to the fact he's got some cookie crumbs on the corner of his mouth. "And no, everything smells wonderful in here, we really put a lot of effort into it this year. Especially the desserts."

"I can tell," Doc deadpans, but not without a hint of indulgent smile, and rolls up the sleeves of his shirt to help them with the last of the preparation. He's no stranger to her kitchen, after all. Lion hovering near the counter, on the other hand, definitely is, so Twitch ushers him to the table and points down at one of the chairs.

"Sit," she orders, which he follows without any complaint.

"He's only playing nice because it's you, you know," Doc grumbles to her, when they're left alone in the kitchen by chance. Twitch only snorts.

"So, it's a bad thing that he respects me enough to listen to me?"

"Well… no," he admits reluctantly, adding sauce over the plate of oven-baked trout fillet with a skilled flick of his wrist. Twitch steals a glance at the table, where Rook is trying to make a small talk with Lion, although it's impossible to tell about what, and more importantly how smoothly, from where she's standing. Lion is drumming his fingers against the table, feigning collected boredom, while his whole posture screams tension. Not used to saying yes to personal invitations, her brain provides. When he did, he must have had no idea that Montagne, his social bridge when it comes to team dynamic, would be missing from the scene.

"Try to give him a chance, Gus. Just for tonight."

Doc's fingers falter, in the middle of putting up the garnish, but only for a split second. When he answers his voice comes out soft and pensive.

“For tonight,” he agrees, and Twitch lets herself hope that maybe, just maybe this evening won't end as poorly as she had imagined.

~*~

In retrospect, hope rarely does anyone a favor.

With the help of warm, quality food and a few glasses of wine, Lion slowly loosens up, looking less out of place, his answers not so clipped anymore. He participates in the conversation without being pressed to, although his smiles are still rare and fleeting, and as the host Twitch could have counted it as a victory, was it not for the way―

"Your claim here is outrageous, Kateb," Lion blurts out, cutting her off from her thoughts, and at this point, she neither knows nor gives a fuck what their current argument is about, or who started it this time. No point in keeping the score when they're so determined to make it a tie.

"I have statistics to back me up, and I might have shared them with you if you weren't such a stubborn asshole," Doc replies, his enunciation precise, but Twitch knows it's just because he's putting extra effort not to slur. Lion growls, unfailingly rising to the bait.

"Statistics can be flawed, more so when they're taken from the field. Too many variables."

"Actually, they're from the lab. Admit you’re wrong, it really is more fatal than a heart attack. The survival rate is almost―"

Across the table, Rook shares a pained look with Twitch. This semi-drunk, almost childish bickering has been going for god-knows-how-long over several different subjects now, changing the topic only serving as a temporary solution, and while it's better than the full-scale war they usually wage against each other, it's still giving her a migraine. She drinks what's left in her glass nonstop and sets it down with more force than she has to. It's not like they would notice anyway. Her phone buzzes from her pocket, signalling an incoming call. Twitch fishes it out in a heartbeat, eager for anything to distract her from this.

"It's Gilles," she announces, which goes largely unheard amidst the raging debate. Calmly, she takes a deep breath and slams her fist on the table, hard, making all of the plates and glasses shudder and clatter in their places. Instantly three sets of eyes fly up to her, stunned, but finally no one is using their mouth for purposes other than gaping. Good.

“I said, it's Gilles on the phone, and I’m gonna pick up now, so everyone shut up and pretend to be happy.” Just before tapping on the receive button, she adds a belated please, which does nothing to soften the blow.

Lion is the first to recover from the shock, and he gets up from his seat to exit the dining room altogether, huffing out loud. Twitch directs her gaze toward Doc, who is adamantly not meeting her eyes, his face flushed with mild embarrassment. Rook, of all people, is the only one who looks vaguely apologetic.

"Gilles!" She answers, aiming for the bright tone and probably failing, and puts him on speaker. "Glad you called, I was planning to check up on you. The mission went pretty smooth, I heard?"

"Oh, better than smooth. Turned out they were just a bunch of amateurs. The bombs wouldn't have even detonated properly, Monika said. The actual hard part was dealing with the panicked citizens, wanting to know if the packages they've just got can be timebombs in gift wrappers."

Twitch hums sympathetically, the mental image of people swarming up to IQ demanding she should take a look at their present boxes with her detecting device―that may even contain questionable items, only that they’re not bombs―vivid in her head. Doc and Rook scoot closer to add their own hellos, and Montagne is quick to notice the absence.

“I take it Olivier couldn’t make it?” he asks, and at his troubled tone Rook jumps in hurriedly to correct him.

“No, he's here. He just went to kitchen to fetch, uh, something.”

“He is?” Montagne sounds surprised, but also genuinely pleased, probably seeing the fact he didn't bail out as a personal progress, and would be terribly disappointed to find out he is still, to some degree, trying to. Twitch feels she has no choice but to jump into the lion’s den herself.

“Yeah, I’ll go and see what’s taking him so long,” she mutters and picks herself up from her seat to follow him outside.

She's ready to drag him in by force if needed, nevermind the solid thirty kilograms he has on her, but she hasn’t expected him to be actually heading back in, and almost bumps into him in the doorway. Lion takes a step back, quick apology on his lips.

“Gilles wants to talk with you,” Twitch informs him, but it comes out as an accusation. Lion, having no problem recognizing it, just nods along.

"I just needed to get some fresh air, before I go back to pretending I'm enjoying this... new-found peace treaty with our doctor," he smiles darkly, earning himself an incredulous stare.

“You call that peace?”

“Compared to what we normally do? Yes. We’re talking and not hating each other’s guts for once,” he shrugs, as Twitch steps aside to let him in.

“Whatever you say, but keep it down a notch. I’m positive my ears are bleeding by now.”

He does have a point though, so Twitch is willing to let the conversation slip as it is, but the way he casts his glance down and frowns suggests he has more to say, so she chooses to wait, despite the chilly air.

“I want to… thank you, for inviting me. I know I’m not the most welcomed person in house parties.”

Considering the context, his following smile could be more bitter, but it remains neutral. Not really self-deprecating, just stating what he’s accepted as a fact. The attitude suits him, Twitch thinks. Sharp and precise assessment delivered in the bluntest way possible, applied even to himself.

“No problem. The more the merrier, isn’t it? And cooking for one more isn’t that much of inconvenience,” she replies, and smiles as a thought crosses her mind. “You’re not that bad, as a guest. See, you're the only one with who brought gift today."

Lion makes an noncommittal noise at that, looking skeptical, and yes, maybe that only means he is still a guest in this house, when rest of them is a family, but it's a starting point, one that now Twitch is determined to make the most of it. And the thing about acquired family is, they all started from ground zero.

“Let’s go back in, poor Gilles must be thinking either we lied to him, or that you ran away. And in case you’re considering it, you’re not going anywhere before you try the desserts.”

"I wouldn't dare," Lion chuckles, and opens the door to the dining room. After a short break, the air feels pleasantly warm, overflowing with the rich smell of butter, chocolate, and cinnamon. It seems like Rook has begun to set out all the desserts, ever the enthusiast, while Doc has been keeping Montagne's company. Twitch momentarily forgets to announce their return, in favor of soaking in every detail of the scene, from the way the soft, golden light makes everyone's face glow in the same hue, to the sound of their shared laughter, feeling so fiercely right in place―and hopes one day, if not today, it would be the same for Lion as well.

#rainbow six siege #r6s #r6s twitch #r6s rook #r6s doc #r6s lion #r6s montagne #fan fiction #siegemas 2019

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metis12375 · 6 years

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fucking superb you funky little samurai

but honestly??? this render is v simple but also it’s 4000x5000 so i’m not gonna try to add any more effects lmao

i don’t have much else to say other than the presents and the flowers are meant to have a certain significance color-wise and also i assume the quality of this is gonna be kinda mmm wonky so best zoom in on that crispy hd boy while you can

i was going to compile a list of some of my favorite songs/covers with his voice but what’s the use lbr

here’s a version with a simple background (wow!)

(credits/effects and really sappy sentimental paragraph under the cut)

do i wanna get sentimental here? yes absolutely i do. i got into vocaloid around…middle school? gakupo was actually the first one i heard, and i genuinely thought it was a real person singing until my friend explained the concept of vocaloid to me. at the time i was just having a really shitty time, i was horribly depressed and suicidal. my immediate family didn’t take any time to analyze what was wrong with me, and i just got worse as i felt i was so alone. i found my only comfort in listening to these nifty little robots sing, and it was really all i could rely on to distract myself from the stress of what was happening. what made it worse was that people were actually making fun of me about it too, so on top of me already hating myself i was starting to feel even more worthless because i was into vocaloid. thankfully that time has passed, i’ve gotten much better with support from close friends as well as working more on art from other fandoms (which has helped as well). i don’t work with mmd as much anymore, but i really wanted to whip something up for this sweetheart. gakupo is and always will be that one character that kinda lingers in the back of my mind, just in case i need some more of that old support system. this picture is…really simple, compared to other work that i’ve done, but i’m very proud of it. i mean, it’s like that mostly because it’s too big to handle a lot of effects but i feel like the brightness is what really makes it better. and besides, no vocaloid is inherently that complex and emotional, right? it’s the significance from the fans that make it so valuable.

Credits: Vest Gakupo by Biyo Daffodils, Hydrangeas, and Calla Lily by tehrainbowllama (textures edited by me) Foldable Paper by wintrydrop (edited by me) Presents by ののゆ

Effects: SimpleSoftShadow

#sorry i got a lotta feelings for this dude #mikumikudance #mmd #gakupo kamui #kamui gakupo #gakupo #camui gackpo #gackpo camui #gackpo #gackpoid #vocaloid #gakupo 10th anniversary #digital art #3d art #metis' art

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mortadellahead-blog · 4 years

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15 Italian Street Foods You Need In Your Life

Anyone who’s been to Italy knows that it’s a country full of delicious food. And you don’t have to sit down to be treated to some of the trendiest items out there. Enter street food. It’s cheap, authentic, and highly instagrammable. Not sure where to start your foodie quest? Use this guide to find the most iconic Italian street foods to ensure the best culinary exploration.

Arancini: Though arancini means “little oranges” in Italian, there’s nothing fruity about these amazing fried rice balls. Arancini are deep fried until they’re crispy on the outside but warm and creamy on the inside. Cheese and peas are the most common fillings, with minced chicken and beef sometimes added. Do yourself a favor and order a couple with a side of spicy arrabiata sauce. Want the most authentic arancini? Head to Sicily where they originated, all the way back to the 10th century.

Olive all’Ascolana: It’s probably no surprise that olives would be on this list, but it’s not just the fruit you’re getting with this popular street food. Imagine olives stuffed with ground meat and parmesan that are lightly breaded and fried. Drooling yet? Your order will come in a paper cone or bag, piping hot straight from the street seller. Dive right in!

Lampredotto: Most loved by the locals, this dish may not sound particularly appetizing but it’s super flavorful. Ready for what’s inside? Lampredotto, the ultimate Florentine street food, consists of cow stomach cooked in a broth of tomato, onion, celery, and parsley. You can order it as is or choose to have it in sandwich form. It’s not for the faint of heart, but we’re confident you’re brave enough to try it.

Pani ca meusa: If we didn’t scare you off with the lampredotto, brace yourself for this one. Pani ca meusa is chopped veal spleen and lung steamed in lard, then stuffed into a sandwich. Again, it tastes way better than it sounds.

Porchetta Romana: If you’re still reading (nice job!), prepare to salivate. Porchetta is a juicy, savory boneless pork roast seasoned with salt and herbs and roasted on a spit. A great roast will be stuffed with garlic, rosemary, fennel, and other herbs. It’s served sliced and piled atop a crusty bread roll, making for one heck of a sandwich.

Pizza al taglio: You’ve been waiting to see pizza on this list, haven’t you? First, take everything you “know” about pizza and toss it out the window. Pizza al taglio, or, “pizza by the cut” is baked in large, rectangular trays and sold by weight. Savor your options, point to what you like, then ask for as much as your body can handle.

Panzerotti: While you’ve got pizza on the brain, listen up for this next one. Panzerotti closely resembles a smaller version of a calzone, or folded pizza. But guess what? It isn’t baked. It’s fried. You’re welcome. Traditionally, these pockets of pizza dough are packed with tomato sauce and mozzarella, but the ingredient list often includes ham, olives, and mushrooms.

Panelle: What was once considered cucina povera (poor man’s food), is now a street food staple. You’ll be daydreaming about this fried chickpea polenta for years to come. It’s best eaten alone, but if you’re feeling fancy, make it a sandwich. Mmm, mmm.

Polpette: Spaghetti and meatballs? Forget about it. The polpette is really all you need. Look for these meatballs on the streets as well as in Venetian wine bars served as cicchetti. LINK HERE.

Pesce fritto al cono: The fried olives mentioned above aren’t the only deliciousness served in a cone. There isn’t much better than roaming the streets of Italy holding a cup of fresh, fried seafood. Is there? Don’t think so. You’ll get seafood fresh off the boat that is lightly battered and fried right before your eyes. Depending on the catch of the day, you may get a combination of fish, squid, or shrimp. Brighten it up with a squeeze of fresh lemon.

Piadina: Both meat eaters and vegetarians alike will line up for this delicious dish. It’s essentially a flatbread made of flour, olive oil, salt, and water. You can get it served alone or stuffed with, basically anything, to create a wrap. Keep it simple and order it with tomatoes and mozzarella so you can taste the quality of each ingredient.

Arrosticini: Here we’ve come to one of the lesser known street foods, but certainly one of the most delicious. These long and thin skewers of lamb can only get tastier with a drizzle of olive oil and sprinkle of sea salt. The meat is skewered and cooked on an elongated charcoal grill. The skewers rest on top of metal grills and hung directly over hot coals. For those who like a little heat, add some chile pepper flakes for a spicier take on this mouth watering street food.

Gelato: You’ve been waiting for something sweet, haven’t you? We’d be remiss if we didn’t include Italy’s most sought after dessert. Made from a creamy base of milk, cornstarch, and sugar, gelato is less creamy than ice cream but a lot more flavorful. Popular flavors include pistachio, stracciatella, and lemon.

Zeppole: From bakeries to cafes to street fairs, you’ll find these deep-fried dough balls pretty much everywhere. While they are said to have originated in Naples and Rome, nowadays every city in Italy has put their own twist on zeppole. Depending on where you go, you’ll find zeppole filled with chocolate, jelly, custard, pastry cream, or even a honey butter mixture -- but they’re always topped with powdered sugar. Make sure to eat them right out of the fryer!

Cannoli: Last but not least, we had to include an easily recognized Italian street food, er, dessert. LINK. Please do us a favor and never, ever resist this tube-shaped pastry dough filled with ricotta cream. It’s worth every bite -- especially the ones with topped with chocolate chips.

Now that we’ve schooled you on the hottest street foods of Italy, which ones will you be hunting down on your next adventure abroad?

Browse through the https://mortadellahead.com/ and you will see what you have been missing out on for all these years. Delivering the best Italian food online!

#Italian food online #Italian breakfast online #best Italian breakfast online #order Italian breakfast online #buy Italian pizza online #buy Italian food online

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t-naokissed · 6 years

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[180119] Hamburgers are delicious.

Good evening.

Thank you very much for watching today’s stage performance of GEKIIKE’s 9th book “Shikoku no Zhan Huā”!!

I ended up safely without injuries today. It’s machisowa (t/n: the term refers to an afternoon and evening performance) tomorrow. We look forward to seeing the you!!

I ate at Freshness Burger today at lunch!

Classic cheese burger and crispy chicken burger!! Mmm, it really is delicious! Hamburgers are justice lol (t/n: okay what the fuck naoki) I’ll stop eating hamburgers for a while! I ate too much! Lol

I’ve done it again today!!

Lately my selfie’s quality has been going up lol

As always, thank you for your letters and gifts!

I’ve properly returned!!

I’ll be happily reading your letters now 😊

Takeshi Naoki

#Takeshi Naoki #GEKIIKE #.....#really naoki #r e a l l y #ugh #his blog title is relatable #i love him #translations

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afterourhearts · 7 years

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food i’ll miss the most in RVA

Hi guys! This is almost more of a post for myself to think back and remember all the delicious cuisine in Richmond that I won’t be able to readily access anymore. As my last month here creeps up on me, I’ve been thinking more and more about how much I’ve grown to love this little “river” city. It’s only apt that I’m taking an archaeology class about Richmond in my last semester as it only reminds me yet again about how rich in culture this place is. Of course, I’m still thrilled to head back to Ohio (or maybe Philly if the interviews went well?), but I think I’ll always be willing to visit Richmond in the future and show my future friends around this adorable place :) ok, but on to the food (not ranked in order of best or anything just places I absolutely adore):

1) Huynh’s now turned Vietnam One Vermicelli with Tofu & Spring Roll - ok so most people have tried this popular Viet dish but I’ve tried at least like 10 of these from diff. places and nothing beats the dish at Vietnam One here. It’s the TOFU. It’s seasoned and cooked to perfection; crispy on outside and soft on the inside and bursting with flavor (as opposed to a lot of other places that have pretty bland fried tofu). Honestly I could just eat the tofu and be pleased. So many memories and probably 50+ trips to this place with my apt., definitely forever going to be in our hearts.

2) Jack Brown’s BBQ chips with mac n cheese burger - only like $6, 5 minutes from my school, juiciest homemade patty, amazing pairing of creamy mac n cheese with crispy chip pieces, and all served with the most refreshing pickle. UGH I WANT IT NOW.

3) Frank West’s Pizzeria Cheese Pizza - omgomgomg so everyone here likes Christian’s which is a NY style thin crust heavy cheese pizza and also fairly good but Frank West’s is even better though less known! A local here showed it to me and I’ve been in love ever since. Crust is on a thinner side but not crazy thin, generous amounts of sauce which I love, and the cheese is speckled with some kind of seasoning that is perfection.

4) Peter Chang’s Dry Fried Eggplant - so there isn’t much Chinese food here to rave about due to the heavily viet but low chinese population in rva but they at least boast one authentic szechuan place (though hong kong house in cbus is def better) STILL they have this standout eggplant dish here that I’ve never seen elsewhere. It’s fried eggplant “fries” seasoned in szechuan flavors/cilantro and it isn’t greasy b/c it is dry fried rather than deep fried. AMAZING alternative to fries!

5) Sugar Shack Donuts esp. lemon poppyseed and strawberry lemon - ok so RVA is KNOWN for donuts and for good reason. Sugar shack has been ranked in national magazines/food blogs all the time and it has literally the yummiest donuts I’ve ever had. Coming from cbus where donuts is just Krispy Kreme, I truly can say I’ve never known anything better existed. Sugar shack is like a bigger, better krispy kreme. It doesn’t melt away in your mouth in seconds like krispy kreme but it is still so fluffy and airy inside like lightweight bakery bread almost. Planning on bringing a dozen of these home after graduation!

6) Bombolini Pasta - a little place in Carytown that has really authentic pasta and delicious sauces, as well as a bunch of homemade frozen ravioli you can buy and cook later at home. I love that the noodles here are never overcooked, like true pasta should be served :)

7) Honey Truffle Fries and Salt n Pepper Fries with Garlic Aioli at Postbellum - this place has a cute little rooftop bar and the most amazing thin fries!!! honey + truffle oil topped with shaved parmesan - could there be a better combo?! The only fries I like better than here are the crispy BonChon ones but BonChon can be found outside of RVA too!

8) Social 52 Crab Dip with Pita - I’ve never had better crab dip, or maybe I was just really drunk xD this bar does have a ton of tasty fusion style apps though!

9) Toast Sweet Potato Tater Tots - a gastropub right beside my school that often rotates out some really unique fusion style dishes (kimchi aiolis and shiz like that) but we always come back to their staple side dish, the sweet potato tots. MMMMMM mmm mm! People make sweet potato fries all the time, but tots? wowzaa

10) Gelati Celesti Chocolate Decadence - hands down the creamiest, thickest, chocolateyest cold creamy gelato goodness you’ll ever try!

11) Noorani’s Gobi Manchurian, Chicken 65, Egg biryani, and Seekh Kabab - omg I could go on and on about this place forever. Yes your stomach will rebel against you the following day but it is worth the later pain hahaha. I just LOVE their gobi manchurian (fried cauliflower tossed in an indo-chinese sauce), they have the most well-spiced chicken 65 ever, biryani is on the wetter side which I LOVE, and mmm the seekh kabob is served in the most amazing sauce with sliced ginger and it’s just like pakistani heaven!!! It breaks my heart thinking about how much I’ll miss this place :’( even though service is crap, food is always delicious.

12) Zzzaaaam bibimbap bowls - this place is like a korean chipotle but it has every topping you’d ever want in your bibimbap at extremely reasonable prices, with a variety of super tasty sauce combos and topped with sesame oil drizzle. I always feel fairly healthy eating here too which is a bonus :)

13) New Grand Market Cafe’s Jajungmyeon with Tangsooyuk = ehrmygawd this is the most amazing combination ever created!! Tasty hot noodles in black bean seafood sauce paired with crispy sweet & sour pork & bell peppers/onions = heaven on earth; place is also a supermarket so you can stock up on asian snacks while you’re here!

14) Chadar Thai’s Drunken Noodles and Curry Fried Rice - the best Thai place in this city. Ignore the overpriced and underwhelming Carytown places (thai diner, mom’s siam, ginger thai, thai top ten, elephant thai, thai palace, etc) and come here! Definitely the BEST and most flavorful thai place around!! Their drunken noodles are UNBEATABLE and yes I’ve tried like 7 other places so I would know lololol

15) Shyndigz Fruit Cake and Key Lime Pie - this place is the cutest little date dessert spot!! they have christmas lights everywhere indoor and outdoors and just the cutest little southern belle/rustic theme; grab a slice of their super moist and fresh fruitcake or absolutely perfectly tart key lime pie with the tastiest crust with your girls or a boo thang and enjoy it under the christmas light warm glow!! you’ll 100% have a night to remember :)

16) Plaza Azteca burritos/enchiladas - so I’m not a huge fan of Mexican because I find a lot of the dishes bland but this place is diff. and they believe in heavy use of sauces/queso which I LOVEEEE. the free nachos/salsa they give are amazing (super thin crispy nachos and the smoothest/freshest salsa), made to order guac is perfect!!, and any of their burritos/enchiladas are bound to be completely covered in sauce and other drizzles and also laying in like a literal pool of more sauce so ohmygoodness yes I’m a big fan

17) Burger Bach New Zealand Burgers - def on the costlier side but comes with a side of fancy salad w like arugula and shiz not just iceberg lettuce and a bunch of creative dips for your fries; burger is also bigger and more flavorful than at Jack Brown’s but Jack beats this place based on price and bun and size and convenience and that freaking pickle ... lol burger bach to jack browns is like shake shack to in-n-out ... one is obvs more expensive and better in quality but the other is unique in taste and affordable sooooooo ya just love BOTH!

18) Mama J’s Southern Kitchen - if you want real soul food this is where its at; here is the only place I like collard greens and they have the sweetest yams and amazing catfish (only place better was in new orleans!) and these freaking awesome wings you must ask for tossed in something called Edy’s sauce. not even sure wtf is in that sauce but it’s bliss

19) Addis Kitchen’s Injera - have you tried ethiopian bread before?? liz and I came across this place when we went to a lackluster italian festival and still needed more food and tried injera for the first time. it was delicious!! it’s a sour, spongey bread that isn’t heavy at all you could literally eat it for ages and just paired amazingly with their veggie/meat dishes which remind me of indian curries a bit. def an experience i’d recommend!

20) Foo Dog’s Fried Tofu and Malaysian Ramen - ok so this place is no fukuryu but the coconut based lemongrass soup is really tasty (noodles need work) and their fried tofu app is deliciously stuffed with a bunch of flavorful veggies and sauces and if you want some bao sandwiches/asian street food combos this is def a good place!

21) Continental Westhampton’s Poutine Fries - omggg this plate of fries is not only covered in gravy but also scallions and an EGG and cheese and if this isn’t your idea of dream loaded fries idk what is

22) Galaxy Diner Malt Shakes and Pickle Chips - so this diner serves breakfast all day and is perfect for post drinking food binges that will do major damage to your waistline but all the greasy foods are just okay in my opnion; really not a standout place except for the funky atmosphere/lighting and one particularly spectacular drink: their malt shakes!!!!!! enough said

23) Don’t Look Back Fish Tacos (traditional style) and Chorizo tacos (gringo style) - it’s not quite LA street taco quality but it’s about as good as it gets around here!

24) Cookout banana shake, chili cheese dogs, chicken nugs, cheese fries, and onion rings - a late night drive through that has everything you’d ever want at 2am in the morning at dollar prices. how perf is this?

There’s probably places I’m forgetting (as you can tell I’ve eaten out a LOT in college hahahhaa) so I’ll try to keep updating this but for now, these are the places that will always have a special place in my heart and that I highly recommend you trying if you’re ever heading to VA beach and feel compelled to stop by adorably historic and tasty Richmond!

#richmond #virginia #food #cuisine #eats #nomnom #yum

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