#monologue through another

[ritualwritten]

(( i do think it’d be interesting to have a relationship dynamic where jonah gets what he wants - someone worshiping him - and how he’d deal with actually catching feelings ))

[acemenagerie-a]

👉👈 Jonah or Salesa cuddling hcs? I'm super curious slkjflaks - solused

@solused

Both because I do not know the meaning of the word 'or' dsjhfgjhsdgfjsdgfhj

Salesa is a space heater in the body of a 6'7 brick wall of a man.  He's always warm and exudes tremendous heat.  There's only a sheet on his bed unless it's super cold and he only sleeps in his underwear unless, again, it really is frigid.  But there's no risk of being too cold cuddled up to Salesa.

He does have thick muscles from working on the Dorian and hauling antiques, etc. but it's all insulated with a nice layer of fat so he is still very comfortable to curl up with and snuggle into.  When he was younger, he was still a wall of a man, but was more fat than muscle given that he was an English major who wanted to work in a library and then happened to pick the worst private collector to try to get experience to weasel around needing a library science degree.

By his nature of being so large, he tends to take the role of being the one curled around the other person, which he doesn't mind because with romantic and sexual partners he does like being able to easily kiss their head and temples.   That said, he's not opposed to being the one in someone else's arms but, logistically, that's usually a challenge.

He is a very attentive cuddler and good at reading another's body language more often than not.  He wants the other person to be comfortable and have a nice time as much as he wants to be comfortable and have a nice time.

Jonah is a selfish bastard who only thinks about his own comfort at any given moment.  His desire to be worshiped means he only wants attention to be poured onto him and is rather reluctant to give in return.  If he has reason to want the person to stick around, he’ll give enough to not make them run off, but it’s not his ideal. 

When he was younger, i.e. in his own body, he was slightly more inclined toward reciprocity.  The bulk of attention still needed to be on him, but he would be more likely to return it with no ulterior motive.  That tendency waned as he got older and settled into viewing other people at objects of observation.

He will initiate cuddling or certain affectionate gestures, especially when inconvenient or if it will otherwise annoy the other person, but will swiftly switch to wanting to be on the receiving end.  If one plays with his hair while he’s in Elias’s body, they will likely notice that he dyes it grey and it is naturally jet black, having not started to grey at all even into the body’s late-40s.

Also I don’t think I’ve ever talked about Jonah’s sexuality and the fact it’s “???” on his bio and really that’s because even I don’t know what his deal is.  He does experience sexual and romantic attraction, but is so self-centered that anything long-term is bound to crash and burn.  And genuinely I think his attraction standards are based around what he can get out of the other person.  Someone who would kiss the ground he walks upon and expect nothing in return is his ideal partner.

[you-get-to-exhale-now-cyrus]

i don’t act

summary: the school play is here, and cyrus ends up dragging tj into the mess. feelings, lines, stage makeup.

ship: tyrus, some landi

word count: 6189

notes: this is inspired by this post and headcanons from @swingsetboys

Cyrus peeked his head through the door of Mr. Coleman’s room. It was the weirdest feeling, being a teacher’s room without them there. It’s like finding a secret room in a video game. Andi and Libby were already sitting there, feet up on the desks. He chuckled, walking in; Coleman would have scolded them like heck for that.

“Cyrus, you came!” Andi exclaimed, clapping her hands together. Libby smiled approvingly, waving at him.

“Yes, you finally pestered me enough to join stage crew,” he sighed dramatically, sitting down on one of the spinny chairs with a definitive ‘plonk’.

‘You like theatre, though. You’re here by choice’ Libby signed, a knowing look on her face. Cyrus pouted, crossing his arms and turning his attention to a poster that said ‘Math is ADDictive!’

“Fine, maybe I am here by choice,” he mumbled, watching a few other people filter in, “but I’m just going to end up backstage waiting to change a light or find a prop or something.”

Andi hummed disapprovingly. “Don’t say that. You have no idea what the power of theatre can do.”

The meeting was pretty successful, with a good turn out. A lot of people Cyrus had never seen were there, and were clearly passionate about theatre. He was really looking forward to making some more new friends. They took a break in the middle of their session to grab snacks,and that’s how Cyrus found himself at his locker, talking to TJ.

“Aw, c’mon you belong on stage,” TJ whined, leaning against the pod of lockers, an apple juice box in his hand.

Cyrus shook his head, closing his locker with a click. “Nope, definitely not. I mean, we’re running monologues next, so we all have to do that.”

TJ perked up at that, his lips forming a delicate grin. “Oh, really? Well, I might just have to pop in and listen to you.”

Cyrus gave him a light nudge, heading back over to the classroom. “You most certainly will not, because I said so.”

TJ’s smile never dipped, falling in step with Cyrus. “You’re acting like such a child.”

Cyrus snorted. “Says the boy with an apple juice box in his hand.”

“It’s the superior juice!” TJ exclaimed, holding it triumphantly in the air.

Cyrus laughed softly, nodding. “I never said it wasn’t. Why would I argue with the truth?”

Both of them walked into the math classroom (“Why do they have to hold a theatre meeting in this hell hole?” TJ had complained), and took seats by Libby and Andi.

“Oh good, you’re up,” Andi whispered to him, handing him a packet of paper, “you’re going number three.”

TJ gave him a soft clap on the back as Cyrus walked towards the front of the classroom. Instead of feeling a bundle of nerves compress inside of him, he actually felt at ease. Maybe it was the fact that this was a rehearsal, or the fact that he wasn’t going to end up on stage in the end anyways, but he felt happy. Calm, even.

“I'm so glad I found you. You're the only one I can talk to.  Definitely the only person I've ever talked to.  But I feel so comfortable with you.”

TJ was suddenly not leaning against the back of his chair. He scooted closer to the edge of his seat, trying to hold onto every word that Cyrus was saying. He had a nagging voice in the back of his head telling him to stop pretending this was about him, but he couldn’t seem to focus on that. All he could focus on was Cyrus.

“No one listens to me. I talk. They change the subject. It’s not that I feel I have something better to say. I don’t know if I have much to say at all. I’ve never had a chance to try.”

The way Cyrus was saying his lines, with the utmost emotion and almost despair made him feel like the boy knew this feeling all too well. It made him upset, thinking that people wouldn’t listen to Cyrus, but he tried to push that feeling aside.

“The minute I saw you, I knew you were special. There was something magical about your eyes, beautiful and green and deep and. . .mesmerizing.”

TJ had to look down at that, discreetly glancing at Andi who was also apparently looking at him. Had she written this monologue? Because if she didn’t, the writer was spooky accurate with TJ’s eyes (at least according to him).

“It’s important to love just enough. Just enough to know that you are loved without hurting the object of your affection. I wouldn’t want to hurt you, but I can’t help it. My love for you extends far beyond any possible word in the English language. My love is in soft glances, little smiles from across the room, and those moments where we both know that there’s something there. Maybe not a spark, but something. I love you, you know. Always have, always will.”

TJ was definitely in a trance, and only Andi smacking his side got him out of it. He clapped along with everyone else, maybe a little louder, even. Cyrus, bashfully, took a little bow and took his seat by a few kids he didn’t know by name, but he’d seen them in the hallways a couple of times. The clapping faded into the background as another person got up to do their monologue, but TJ couldn’t stop focusing on Cyrus’ words. They sounded so real, so beautiful, and he wanted to hear more.

Cyrus was wrong: he belonged on stage, not sitting with a prop in his hand and waiting for a cue.

After all the monologues were done, the teacher in charge, Mrs. Artesia, and Jonah, the student director, gathered together in a corner of the room to discuss roles and who they thought would do well on stage.

“You didn’t tell me you could pull of something like that,” TJ managed to say, without stumbling over his words.

Cyrus brushed it off, leaning back in his chair. “That? That wasn’t that good. . .was it really?”

TJ put his hands on Cyrus’ shoulders, shaking him lightly. “Yes, you idiot, it was really good! You should be on stage, not backstage.”

Cyrus thought about this for a moment. He did have fun performing his monologue in front of other people, but on the other hand, he wasn’t sure if he was cut out for the real deal. Understudies, probably, he thought, trying to prepare himself for the worst.

“Tell you what. I’ll go tell Mrs. Artesia that I want to be considered for an actor’s part-”

“-yes!”

“-but only if you join stage crew.”

TJ froze. Sure, he liked theatre. He enjoyed listening to the soundtracks in the car, changing voice quickly between characters as his sister teased him for not being able to hit the high notes. But actually take part in a production? He was hesitant, but seeing the borderline pleading look on Cyrus’ face, he knew he was a goner.

“. . .fine,” he agreed, to which Cyrus squealed and threw his arms around him.

“This is going to be so much fun!” he exclaimed, running off to find the director and let her know the good news.

Andi tapped TJ on the shoulder. “Since when are you interested in theatre?”

Libby, following her words, broke out into a smile. ‘Since a certain boy decided he wanted to be an actor.’

TJ sighed, slumping over. “You ladies are going to be the death of me, aren’t you?”

Andi chuckled, taking Libby’s hand in hers. “You bet.”

Wednesday morning. Eight-thirty one. The cast list still hadn’t been posted, and Cyrus was already irritated. It was supposed to be up a minute ago, but seeing as there wasn’t a throng of students gathered around the bulletin board, he knew it wasn’t up.

“You ready to be the lead?”

Cyrus didn’t even have to turn around at that. He threw his hands up in exasperation. “TJ, you need to stop telling me lies.”

“Not a lie,” he informed him, dangling a piece of paper in front of his eyes. Cyrus quickly snatched it, scanning through it.

“You didn’t make this did you? Just to try and get a laugh?”

TJ’s expression softened. “Of course not, Cyrus. I’d never do that to you, of all people. I got into Mrs. Artesia’s office early this morning and it was sitting on her desk. I believe a congratulations is in order,” he chuckled, patting his shoulder.

“Wow I. . .can’t believe I got the lead!” he squealed, hurrying over to the bulletin board and pinning it up. TJ grabbed a pencil out of his bag and wrote ‘the incomparable’ in front of Cyrus’ name.

“You flatter me,” Cyrus laughed, placing a hand on his heart, “so. . .stage crew?”

TJ shrugged, kicking at the ground. “I think I’m going to be doing lights, actually. Suits my style more.”

Cyrus poked his side lightly, beaming. “Why? So you can drool over all the cute girls on stage?”

TJ chuckled along, heading to his class, with Cyrus following by his side. “Yes, Cyrus. I, a blatant homosexual, have chosen to do lighting to look at the female population.”

Cyrus giggled at that, and TJ didn’t think there was a more beautiful sound in the universe. “Okay, whatever. I’ll see you after school though, right? First run through!” Cyrus scurried to his first period class, and as the hallway started to fill with more students, TJ was left standing in his place, watching a certain boy run off into the distance.

They had just started blocking the first scene, when TJ found himself up in the lighting booth. There was another boy up there, Wyatt. He always did the lighting for school plays, but he was a senior, so it was probably a good idea that TJ was learning the ropes.

“You TJ?” he asked, kicking his legs down from the table.

“Yeah, that’s me. Wyatt, right?” The other boy nodded, motioning for him to take a seat.

“So this is the lighting board. Pretty straight forward. These ones control the upstage lights, these downstage. You can change the colors with this lever, and then if you want s fade you have to program it with this thing here,” he rattled off, TJ trying to keep up as best he could. He didn’t have anything to write this down on, so he was just praying that Wyatt would help him out when he could.

“I have to go for now, but you’ll figure it out,” he gave him a small wave, “later man.”

Well, so much for that. TJ took Wyatt’s seat, and looking down through the window, he could see Cyrus on stage with the director, pointing at something in the script. He smiled to himself; he really did have the best seat in the house.

“Okay, let’s run the scene from the top! Remember, really use your facial expressions!” Jonah called out, taking a seat a few rows back, “Action!”

TJ watched the actions play out on stage. He tried to do lights as best he could, but without much direction, it was hard to determine what to do. Whenever a single person was on stage, he would try and put a spotlight on them, but sometimes it was too bright, and they would look down. However, the moment Cyrus got on stage, it was like all TJ knew how to do was stare off into the distance.

“Lights!” Jonah yelled, snapping TJ out of his reverie.

Crap, that was his cue, and he missed it. He fumbled with the board for a little, and after a few moments, there was a soft, pink spotlight on Cyrus, who seemed to be delivering his lines beautifully.

As soon as Cyrus was off stage, TJ seemed to have no problem getting his cues, and figuring out how to work the board. Funny how things work out like that.

“Okay, everyone, that’s all for today!” Mrs. Artesia said, clapping her hands together, “today was a lot of work, I know, but in the coming weeks, I know we’re all going to work hard and put together a wonderful performance! Does anyone have any questions?”

Cyrus raised his hand. “Can I write a screenplay for the next production?”

Mrs. Artesia pushed up her glasses on her nose. “I don’t think so, Cyrus. You’ll have to get it checked by me and the board, then it has to pass by the principal, and after that you-”

Cyrus waved his hand, cutting her off. “That’s okay, don’t worry about it.”

“Anyone else?” No one said anything. “Good! I’ll see you all tomorrow!”

Cyrus stuffed his script into his backpack, and hauled it up on his shoulders. He would normally head out with TJ, but since he had basketball practice, he was alone today.

“Cyrus!” Andi called, waving her hands in the air. He smiled seeing her, but took a step back once he saw her hands.

“Is that acrylic paint? Andi, I love you, but this is a nice shirt,” he smiled sympathetically, smoothing down his top.

“TJ sure seemed to think so,” she mused, earning his full attention.

“What? What do you mean? Did he say that? When?”

Andi laughed, Libby coming up behind her, with paint all up her arms. “I mean, whenever you were on stage, he missed his lighting cues.”

Cyrus crossed his arms in defense. “It’s the first day, Andi, cut him some slack. Plus, he messed up plenty of other times too.”

Andi sighed, turning to Libby and summing up their conversation. Libby grinned, turning towards Cyrus.

‘Yes, but he messed up more when you were involved. Isn’t that funny? I think it’s funny.’

Cyrus narrowed his eyes, but the smile on his face only grew. “Shut up,” he mumbled, signing along as well, “I’ll see you guys later,” he gave them a wave, and headed out the door.

“He’s so smitten,” Andi giggled, signing her words.

‘CJ’ Libby signed back, smiling.

“Oh my gosh, is that what you call them? CJ?” she repeated her sign, her smile only growing.

Libby nodded, and her expression all of a sudden turned a little more shy. ‘Do you want to get ice cream later?’

Andi smiled. “Totally! Andi Shack?”

Libby nodded. ‘Andi Shack’

“I’m telling you, directly into the light!” Andi chuckled, setting down her tray, with Buffy sitting beside her.

“Are you kidding me?” Buffy exclaimed, her eyes widening. It’d been two weeks of rehearsals, and the teasing from Andi, and consequently, Libby and Buffy, wasn’t getting any better.

“He could have blinded himself because he wanted to look at TJ!” she sighed, shaking her head.

“I am literally sitting right here,” Cyrus deadpanned, holding onto his apple a little tighter, “and no, I didn’t look directly into the spotlight, that’s a lie.”

“Sure, you just kept tumbling over your own feet on stage for no reason, after staring at the lighting booth,” Andi mumbled, nodding her head, “whatever you say.”

“Hey guys!” TJ called, coming over and joining their table, “what’re you talking about?”

Cyrus paled, looking down at his food. “Well, we certainly weren’t talking about your job as the lighting guy.”

TJ chuckled. “Very convincing. I think I’m getting the hang of it, finally, after Wyatt agreed to stay with me for the new few rehearsals and help. Who knows, maybe I’ll even help out a little freshman when I’m a senior.”

Buffy snorted. “Fat chance someone would be able to stand you barking orders at them.”

TJ smirked, resting his elbows on the table. “Ah, Driscoll, witty as always.”

Buffy smiled victoriously, taking a bite of her sandwich. “You know it. So, Cyrus, did you wanna hang out tonight? We can do a movie night.”

Cyrus shook his head. “Can’t. TJ and I are running lines.”

Buffy smirked, looking at the basketball captain whose attention was suddenly very focused on a poster for a math competition. “You guys are running lines together?”

“Well, the show’s in a few weeks, we need to be ready,” TJ defended weakly, “and Cyrus is the lead, which is obviously the most important.”

Cyrus laughed beside him. “It’s not the most important, Teej, and you know it.”

TJ shrugged. “Well, maybe that’s what you think, but I’m right. Without the lead, what would the play even be about?”

“Without all the side characters, how would the lead grow and develop as a person? How would they discover something about themselves without someone at their side?” Cyrus countered.

“Fair point,” TJ admitted, “anyways, your house, later tonight?”

Cyrus nodded, finishing up his sandwich. “You guys wanna come too? Help run lines?”

TJ deflated a little beside him, and looked to Andi with a pleading look. He didn’t mind if people came along, but he would prefer if it were just him and Cyrus. Almost like a date, but not quite. A friend-date.

“Well,” Andi started, her look softening, “I’d love to, but Libby and I have to finish one of the set pieces.”

“Maybe another time,” Cyrus replied, not seeing the relieved look from TJ, “looks like it’s just me and you,” he chuckled, meeting TJ’s gaze.

His eyes were beautiful, TJ thought, and the only reason he wasn’t getting lost in them was because so many people were talking at the same time. Thank goodness for distractions.

“Y-Yup,” he stammered, clearing his throat, “just you and me.”

“Oh, I almost forgot! My mom’s making lasagna tonight, you’re in for a treat,” Cyrus chuckled, grabbing his bag, “I’ll see you guys later!”

TJ walked him walk off, a distracted smile tugging at his lips, and when he was finally snapped out of it by someone dropping their tray, he turned back to his friends, and found that Libby was staring at him with a knowing look on her face.

“What?” TJ signed, flushing slightly.

‘Nothing. You’re just staring at him.’ she signed back.

TJ stuck his tongue out in defiance, turning his attention back to his food, which had been untouched. “We’re just running lines.”

“At least this time he won’t stare into a light,” Buffy mumbled, shaking her head with disapproval.

“What?” TJ questioned.

Buffy waved him off, not missing a beat. “Nothing, just Cyrus being. . .Cyrus,” she chuckled.

TJ smiled a little more at that. Cyrus being Cyrus was great. He really liked him, which terrified the living daylights out of him.

Later in the evening, TJ found himself walking to Cyrus’ house, albeit a little earlier than they had planned. He wasn’t sure why, he just knew he wouldn’t be able to stay at home for much longer without bursting. So that’s the story of how TJ found himself nearly twenty minutes early at Cyrus’ doorstep.

Fortunately for him, Cyrus was already running lines by himself inside, and TJ knew because the light was on in his room, and his voice was much louder than before. Acting on impulse, he picked up a small pebble and threw it at his window, making a small ‘plink!’ sound. The words immediately stopped, and the window opened.

“Are you insane? What are you doing?” Cyrus called from upstairs, his script in hand.

TJ just shrugged, and he could practically see Cyrus’ annoyance. “Just thought I’m come by early to help with lines.”

Cyrus scoffed, waving him up. “Door’s open,” he called, shutting his window and muttering to himself, “help with lines. More like shatter my window and my peace and tranquility.”

TJ made his way up the stairs, like he’d done a thousand times before, and popped into Cyrus’ room. “I’m ready to be wowed with your talent,” he chucked, plopping down on the floor.

Cyrus’ expression softened; he could never really be mad at TJ. “Get ready for your expectations to be barely fulfilled.”

TJ groaned, pulling a pencil off of Cyrus’ desk and taking his script from him. “You don’t get to say things like that. You’re the lead, and you have to exude self confidence.”

Cyrus sighed, sitting down across from TJ and propping up his head with his elbows. “How do I do that? Especially when I’m professing my love for a girl?”

TJ let out a light laugh at that, crossing his legs and flipping to a page that was covered in highlights. He figured they’d start there. “Why don’t you just imagine you’re talking to a really cute boy?” he offered, holding a pencil in between his fingers.

Cyrus nodded, motioning for him to go on and start one of the lines.

TJ squinted at the words. “What kind of feelings? What are you trying to say?” he couldn’t help but smile at that.

“I'm so glad I found you. You're the only one I can talk to. Definitely the only person I've ever talked to. But I feel so comfortable with you. . .” he started, looking down at his hands. TJ couldn’t help but stare a little bit as he talked; even though the words weren’t directly aimed at him, he felt his heart fluttering. With a pencil in hand, he started to doodle a little on the side, a small heart. When he decided that was too romantic, he drew a tiny cat holding it, smiling.

“Line?” Cyrus repeated again, snapping TJ out of his thoughts.

“Oh, uh. . .” he squinted, looking at the words, “it’s still your monologue. ‘No one listens’.”

Cyrus nodded, composing himself again. “No one listens to me. I talk. They change the subject. It’s not that I feel I have something better to say. I don’t know if I have much to say at all. I’ve never had a chance to try.”

TJ nodded along; Cyrus was getting his lines down really well, and the tone and inflection was beautiful.

“The minute I saw you, I knew you were special. There was something magical about your eyes, beautiful and green and deep and. . .mesmerizing.”

That was the line that always got him, every since time, without fail. Whenever Cyrus said it on stage, he would crane his neck outside the little window to try and hear him better. Wyatt always teased him about it, but he never said more other than the occasional “pay attention to the lights, TJ, not the star of the show”.

“It’s important to love just enough. Just enough to know that you are loved without hurting the object of your affection. I wouldn’t want to hurt you, but I can’t help it. My love for you extends far beyond any possible word in the English language,” Cyrus started, his gaze flitting up to TJ, “my love is in soft glances, little smiles from across the room, and those moments where we both know that there’s something there. Maybe not a spark, but something. I love you, you know. Always have, always will.”

It’s not about you, please stop freaking out. It was no point thinking that, because TJ’s cheeks were glowing a bright red, and he would be lying if he didn’t say that Cyrus’ were pinker than they were before.

“S-so?” Cyrus spoke up, breaking the awkward silence that had fallen over them, “how was that?”

Beautiful. Incredible. I love you. “That was. . .the greatest thing I’ve ever heard,” he breathed out, flipping back to the front of the script and handing it to Cyrus, who didn’t seem to agree.

“It was alright. I messed up that one part, and then of course, the inflection could have been better,” he shook his head, “I’m never going to get it.”

TJ scooted a bit closer, firmly putting his hands on Cyrus’ shoulder. “Don’t say that, Cy,” he started softly, “you were really good. Like, really good. Seriously, that monologue could make someone fall in love with you.”

Cyrus relaxed a little, his shoulders losing some tension. “Thanks,” he said, smiling a little, “that was indeed my goal in this rehearsal. Make someone fall in love with me.”

You’ve succeeded. “Oh, hush you, your performance was great here, and it’s going to be even better on stage.”

Cyrus’ smile faltered a little, the corners of his lips quivering. “I’m not. . .that sure.”

TJ took his script, glowering at him. “If you’re not going to believe in yourself, then I am going to make you. You won’t need this for the rest of the night, will you?”

Cyrus whined, reaching for it, but TJ kept it above his head. “I was gonna work on it more when I got home.”

TJ shook his head. “No way! It’s already late, and there’s no way you’re going to be staying up later because of this. You’re already doing great, Cy. I promise.”

Cyrus thought this over for a few moments, before finally giving in with a yawn. “I. . .fine. But I expect it back to me first thing tomorrow.”

TJ nodded eagerly, and the two of them ran the scene again (TJ managed to not faint, by a miracle). It was just as good as the other time, if not better, especially in TJ’s opinion. When they had finished for the night, TJ took the script with him, a half baked idea whirling around in his head.

Later, when TJ got home, he took a seat at the desk in his room, pushed aside all his papers, and pulled out a pencil, and his little bag of colored pencils. Well, technically they were Amber’s, but he’d stolen them a while ago, and he figured she’d forgotten about them.

He flipped through the pages, doodling in the margins little things that he thought would make Cyrus feel better about his work. Some of them were silly cat doodles that said “you’re doing PAWsome!”, while others were genuine comments on the way that he was performing the scene.

“Whenever you say this, your face kind of scrunches up, and I think it really helps with the scene”

“This part is PURR-fect!”

“My favorite line right here. You always look ready to cry when you deliver it, but then of course you keep your composure. It’s beautiful every single time”

“No wait, this is my favorite lol”

And so it went for the rest of the night, TJ flipping pages and doodling things in the margins occasionally. Cats, cat puns, genuine thoughts, he wrote them all. He really hoped that this helped Cyrus, even just a little bit, to recover his confidence.

Tech week. The dreaded words that all theatre kids hate hearing.

“How are you holding up?” Andi signed groggily, faint bags apparent under her eyes.

Libby shrugged. ‘Okay, I guess. I’m tired. Running on a latte and a prayer. What about you?’

Andi glanced over her shoulder, at where TJ and Cyrus were bumping shoulders and laughing. Then she turned back to Libby, a small smile on her face.

“They’re going to be the death of me,” she points at them, and signs along, “they have to get together.”

Libby nods, and quickly puts on an innocent smile as TJ and Cyrus approach the two girls. ‘Gentlemen.’

Cyrus laughs, saluting her. “You guys look exhausted.”

“Thanks,” Andi deadpans, “it’s tech week, and the set is still in need of a few final preparations. How are you not dead?”

Cyrus shrugged. “I drank a five hour energy this morning. Or two of them. I can’t remember.”

TJ shook his head, patting Cyrus on the back. “Try to radiate some of that energy onto us, please and thank you.”

“But aren’t you excited for rehearsal tonight? We’re gonna run through the whole thing?” Cyrus was nearly shaking with excitement. Andi put a hand on his shoulder.

“Please, for the love of everything good in this cafeteria, calm down.”

That night, all the cast and crew were hard at work. Cyrus was working with Jonah on some lines, Andi was helping Libby find some new props, since a few broke, and Wyatt and TJ were sitting in the lighting booth.

“So,” Wyatt started, leaning back in his chair, “how long have you and that kid been dating?”

TJ nearly choked on his spit. “Wh-what?” he squeaks out, trying not to hack up his lungs during his coughing fit.

Wyatt smiled, raising a brow. “You know, the lead? What’s his name, Chris?”

“Cyrus,” TJ corrects, his voice higher than before, “a-and no. . .we’re not dating.”

Wyatt quirked a brow at his response, digging out his phone from his bag. “Really? I thought you guys were. You’re always hanging out with each other and-”

“So?” TJ cut in, almost annoyed, “friends do that too.”

Wyatt’s expression softened, but his gaze never left his phone. “Whatever you say dude, I’m just saying. You guys seem like more than friends. He talks about you all the time.”

“When do you talk to Cyrus?”

He shrugged in response. “I get here early sometimes to help him run lines. He talked about all the notes you left in his script and how it always helped because you wrote them,” he continued, “he seems to like you a lot, man. You should just ask him out.”

“What? No, that’s the worst idea.”

“Why? The worst he could do is say no. I’ve seen you guys. You’re close, and there’s no way that things would change because of your feelings,” he looked up at him from his phone, “I’ll give you twenty bucks to ask him out, and if he says yes, which I’m pretty sure he will, I’ll pay for your date.”

TJ thought it over for a moment, but he was still skeptical. “Why are you helping me? You barely know me.”

Wyatt shrugged. “I know that it’s nice to date someone that you really care about.”

“Yeah, sure, but your experience with girls isn’t really going to help me.”

Wyatt snorted, throwing his head back. “Girls? Yeah, no, they’re not for me,” he chuckled, “I think I know what I’m doing.”

TJ blinked a few times, looking at the lighting board. “Oh. Cool. Well. . .thanks. I might just have to take you up on that offer.”

Wyatt took his wallet out his bag, fishing out two ten dollar bills and waving them in front of TJ’s face. “Well?”

TJ hesitated, but then took the money, stuffing the bills into his pocket and getting up from his chair. “Fine, I’ll do it. Happy?”

Wyatt smiled, clapping him on the back. “Go get your man.”

TJ wandered around backstage during the break, trying to find Andi and Libby. After his conversation with Wyatt, he figured that they were the best people to seek out for more advice on this. He finally saw them in the prop room, looking for a new vase for the table, as someone had broken it during rehearsal last time.

“Hey,” TJ said, nearly out of breath, “I need to run an idea by you two.”

“What’s up?” Andi asked, paint smeared across her hands and her clothes.

He shakily signs as he talks. “I need a way to ask Cyrus out.”

Libby’s eyes widen and she drops the vase in her hands, letting it shatter on the ground. So much for that one.

“What?” Andi screams, a smile growing on her face, “you’re. . .you’re serious?”

He nodded. “Help me out?” he signs

Libby thought about it for a moment, before she seemed to have an idea. ‘Didn’t you leave notes in his script? What if you did that, like wrote something on the last page?’

“That’s. . .actually a really good idea. Thanks,” he mumbled, walking off determined to find Cyrus’ script. Luckily, it was sitting on the side of the stage, as Cyrus was busy talking to the director about some blocking. He quickly drew something on the last page, along with a message, and he left it on the front page, hurrying away. Hopefully this plan would work out.

Opening night. Ten minutes to curtain. Everyone was rushing around and putting the final details on the actors’ makeup and costumes, and props were already set in place. TJ was sitting in the lighting booth, on FaceTime with Cyrus, who was in the boys dressing room.

“It’s going to be a disaster! What if I miss a cue?” Cyrus whined, pouting.

“You’re going to do great, Cy. You’ve worked insanely hard on this, and there’s no way it’s not going to be amazing. And if you miss a cue, no one in the audience is going to know.”

Cyrus sighed, running a hand through his hair, much to the dismay of the student fixing his hair. “You’re probably right. I’m just. . .nervous.”

TJ’s expression softened, his smile widening. “You’re going to be amazing. I promise you. I’ll leave you be, okay? Five minutes till opening.”

He closed the call, and got set with the lighting, making the announcement for people to silence their cell phones. The silence settled over the crowd, and TJ slowly dimmed the lights in the house, the lights on the stage growing a little as the curtain opened.

“Here we go,” he whispered to himself.

The whole thing was a blur. All Cyrus could process was that he was holding hands with his fellow actors and bowing. The audience was clapping like there was no tomorrow, a few groups of people even giving a standing ovation. TJ was in the lighting booth whooping and hollering so loud that Wyatt was covering his ears.

“So, what about you and that kid? Did you ask him out?”

TJ straightened out his shirt. “As a matter of fact, I’m going to do that right now,” he announced heading out of the booth and down the stairs, holding a hand behind his back. When he got down to the lobby, he didn’t realize how crowded it was. Parents, relatives, friends, siblings, other students, all crowding the room. He spotted Andi and Libby and caught their attention, waving them over. They took time to get to him, squeezing their way through the crowd to get to him.

TJ pointed to Cyrus, who was currently surrounded by people praising him for a job well done. “Help?”

The girls nodded, standing in front of him and pushing through the crowd as TJ walked behind them, trying to avoid getting hit by a child flailing their arms. Finally, he managed to get to Cyrus, and like magic, Libby and Andi left him alone.

“Cy, hey!” he chirped, smiling widely, “you were amazing! Just like I thought.”

Cyrus chuckled, throwing his arms around him. “Well, the lights looked great too. Thank you, though. It wouldn’t have been so good without all your help and notes in my script,” he laughs, holding it up.

TJ smiled nervously, relishing in this moment before Cyrus pulled away. “No problem. I. . .here, this is for you,” he said, pulling out the rose that he was holding behind his back. His mom would kill him if she knew he took it from her garden, but for Cyrus? Anything.

Cyrus’ jaw dropped a little, taking the rose carefully, as if it were about to vanish into thin air. “TJ. . .this is. . .thank you, I-”

“Hold that thought,” TJ cut him off, “check the last page of your script. I added a new note.”

Cyrus, albeit a little confused, obliged, flipping to the last page. There, on the large section of a blank page, was a drawing of two cats holding hands, with a caption that read ‘it would be PURRfect if you took MEOWt on a date! friday after school?’

TJ waited for his reaction nervously. His heart was beating out of his chest, and he couldn’t even focus on how many people were bumping into him at that moment.

Cyrus looked up at TJ, whose face was redder than the rose in his hand. And for the second time that night, Cyrus threw his arms around TJ, grinning from ear to ear.

“Yes, of course! I would love to go on a date with you!” he squeals, holding him so tight that TJ could barely breathe.

TJ made a noise that wasn’t completely human, spinning Cyrus around in a hug before putting him back down on the ground. “Cool. . .one second,” TJ pulled away from him, putting his phone up to his ear.

“Wyatt! So nice to hear from you. I’d like thirty bucks for my date. . .yes I mean it. . .no I’m not kidding. . .you can talk to Cyrus if you want. . .okay. . .cool. . .thanks,” he laughed, hanging up.

“So, that date?” Cyrus asked, taking TJ’s hand.

TJ smiled at the gesture, giving his hand a squeeze. “How about we go to my house after school on Friday and do a karaoke show tunes kind of thing? We can order pizza and everything.”

Cyrus nodded. “It’s a date,” he agreed, looking around for a moment, before reaching up and pressing a quick kiss to TJ’s cheek. He gave his hand one final squeeze, before running to find his parents, who were waiting for him with bouquets of flowers. They were beautiful, but TJ’s rose beat them all.

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 309

*puts Lonely Island on repeat* Shipnanigans are here!

I was originally kind of not looking forward to the second half of the season because this part of Voyager is absolutely batshit bananas. But then I was wicked underwhelmed by the part of the season I thought I would love.

So fuck it. Bring on the ridiculousness.

I like this episode. But only if I try to watch it pretending like the first part of the season didn’t happen... Because if I watch it with the other episodes in mind, I just get mildly ragey that we skip over the important emotional work Jamie and Claire still have to do in favor of fluff followed by another separation. And yeah, I love fluff. I love secksi times. I love Fraser snuggles. But the jump from the end of ep. 308 to the start of ep. 309 leaves me salty that we’re yet again asked to headcanon the reconciliation between Jamie and Claire. *side eyes the similar jump between ep. 207 and ep. 208* Whatever.

Get your towels ready it's about to go down. Everybody in the place hit the fuckin’ deck. But stay on your motherfuckin’ toes. We runnin’ this, let's go.

New credits! And the title card... Take a good hard look at the motherfuckin’ boat.

Ok this opening bit. Like Jamie was an asshole for the last two episodes. Claire never actually got to tell her side of things. She basically was like nope, I don’t think I even want to be here. But now it’s like all good, she’ll go on this 18th century sea voyage to find Jamie’s nephew. For real? They couldn’t have made a handful of tweaks last week and the beginning of this week so she could say she was going because she wanted to be with Jamie and keep working on their relationship? And Jamie’s apparently never going to apologize for being a massive piece of shit toward her? They do a good job over the course of the episode of showing them together but still with the insecurities and stuff, but jumping from where they were on the cliff to where they are in this episode makes me side eye the show like whoa.

And yes, I know that she’s really going on the ship because she wants to try to make it work with Jamie, but geez, let her say that. Let her tell him that he’s been a dick to her but she knows he has it in him to be not-shitty and she’s going because she thinks he can be better than he is in the last couple episodes. I don’t know why it bothers me so much when they make us fill in the blanks ourselves on stuff that seems definitely important enough to actually show. And then make it seem like we’re dumb or bad fans or something for wanting to actually see things instead of just headcanoning them in, because that’s how this production team rolls.

Replacement Rupert and Angus just aren’t the same as the originals. Like no one can replace Rupert and Angus, but like, I can’t bring myself to give a crap about these randos?

For real though, Claire’s inner monologue is probs like yeah, never thought I'd be on a boat. It's a big blue watery road...

And I get her 20th century scoffing at superstition, but like, girl. You’ve been in trouble for being a “witch” enough times now that c’mon. Don’t act like you don’t understand what’s going on with the sailors.

Marsali is my everything. I love her. I love her so much.

As much as I want Jamie to stand up for Claire, I do like that Fergus does it. Because Jamie, my dude, you deserve everything Marsali’s throwing at you.

Claire’s “No. You don’t.” as she drags Jamie away is also my everything.

Oh hey, a trunk of clothes! Got some swim trunks, and some flippie-floppies. But not a nautical themed pashmina afghan in sight. Welp. Can’t have everything.

I know it’s supposed to be sweet that Jamie wouldn’t let anyone get rid of Claire’s clothes. And a nice inverse to Frank burning her clothes. But I’m still just kind of chuckling because it’s not like he ever saw them? What with him living in a cave and then prison and then Helwater and then with Laoghaire. But whatever.

“Would you care to dine with me this evening? We drinking Santana champ, cause it's so crisp.” This captain is seriously the human equivalent of  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Like dude. You’re the captain of the ship and you’re just like welp. Can’t do anything about the men. They’ll do what they’re gonna do. It’s not like I’m the one in the position of authority or anything.

High fives to Fergus for calling Jamie on his bullshit revisionist history.

Although it’s kinda icky that Jamie knows all of the girls who Fergus has banged? And also fuck him for being super chill about Fergus banging tons of girls but so fucking uptight about Marsali and Bree. I know, I know, it’s a different time. That doesn’t make him not a hypocrite though.

Slash Jamie’s the last person who should be lecturing *anyone* about the importance of honesty right now. But whatever. No real consequences for lying soooo... *pretends the last few eps haven’t happened*

Yi Tien Cho convincing Jamie to do acupuncture is also my everything. Seriously, I know I had a *rull* low bar for how that character was going to be changed, but I’m really, really loving him.

I for real can’t wait for more of Claire and Marsali. Like yeah, Jamie’s marital status *was* Claire’s business, and Jamie hadn’t been living with Laoghaire and the girls for ages so Claire also wasn’t really breaking up a family or anything, but I really like that Claire just lets Marsali’s comment slide. Like call Jamie out on all of his bullshit, please, but Marsali’s a teenager whose life was thrown through a loop and I feel like trying to talk to her when she’s in this kind of mood isn’t going to get anywhere. So by just being like “well the whore should get the bigger bed, shouldn’t she” it’s like telling Marsali that she’s not going to be cowed by the snark and also that she doesn’t need to justify her place in Jamie’s life to a rando. Like she’s not going to concede power by trying to explain herself to Marsali.

But for real, I love Marsali.

I honestly don’t get Jamie’s aversion to Fergus and Marsali though. Like they’re not making the age difference a thing in the show. And Jenny’s fucking kids have apparently been married and spitting out babies since they hit puberty. Like I get it makes for some tension with Laoghaire, but who gives a fuck? She hates them all already?

Claire and Yi Tien Cho are my favorite pair that I was not expecting to like so much. But like her being genuinely interested in his story and him being open with her, which is probably the first time he’s gotten to talk like that with anyone since he got to Scotland, is so great.

Oh. Another VO. Cool. It’s basically like I'm on a boat motherfucker take a look at me. Straight flowin’ on a boat on the deep blue sea. Bustin’ five knots, wind whippin’ out my coat. You can't stop me motherfucker cause I'm on a boat.

Ok this insecurity in Jamie about hurting Claire’s feelings about the tea and acupuncture is adorable. Asshole Jamie’s insecurity of the past few episodes wasn’t. He was just an asshole.

And also, broseph, this is the kind of secret it’s ok to keep. Small, insignificant, adorable. The other one, not so much.

“My return has been confusing and frustrating. But it’s never been a question of whether I love you.” Confusing and frustrating is putting it a bit mildly, Claire, but apparently we’re done having real talk and Jamie doesn’t have to own up to being a fuckwad. Bqhatevwr. (Don’t get me wrong, I’m 1000% here for the fluff in this episode. I just have to pretend they actually did more of the hard convos in order to get to where they can have the fluff again.) And I’m pretty sure it *literally was* a question of whether you loved this Jamie, Claire. We all know you loved the old Jamie. But like, the whole thing on the cliff was literally about whether you loved the new Jamie. Y’know. The thing they never bothered addressing beyond the question being asked. Because lol nothing matters, fans can headcanon it and if they don’t they’re whiny and #badfans.

Whatever. *actively doesn’t think about past episodes* Here for pincushion heart eyes. Lookit how cute they are.

Cause of death: Claire telling Jamie about reading Bree Goodnight Moon.

And I love them talking about the moon like with the science of men flying there and the folk tales of the man in the moon representing each of them. They’re gonna fly this boat to the moon somehow. Like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible.

“You miss her.” “Terribly.” Glad they’re highlighting Claire still feeling the loss of what she gave up to come back to Jamie. Still salty at his non-reaction to learning about his kid. And even here, like one line from him about Bree to let Claire know he loves her too? Or thinks about her too? To let Claire know she’s not alone in missing Bree? Please? No? Ok.

Here for the cuddles. I want the fluff. Believe me, I am trash for the fluff. I just wish again that the fluff felt more earned because they’d actually come to an understanding about where they stand with each other rather than just glossing over the hard part of coming back together. They showed the angsty set up then skipped the resolution and went straight to the fluff.

Whatever. Back to pretending the last few eps didn’t happen. Give me all the fluff. It’s fucking wonderful. I love fluff. I am a broken record.

I feel like the gif of Claire saying “that’s insanity” is going to come in quite handy...

Jamie going to save his dude like fuck land, I'm on a boat, motherfucker. Fuck trees, I climb buoys, motherfucker. I'm on the deck with my boys, motherfucker. And no one is gonna mess with his Ardsmuir boys.

Really reaching to fit some of these lyrics in and I’m not at all sorry.

The way they chant Jonah is def the angry mob way to chant it, but in my head I def kept being like Jo! Nah! Jo! Nah!. Like pumping someone up at a sports thing or something. You’re doing it wrong, brain.

I have a lot of feelings about Yi Tien Cho giving up his story and letting it go before he wanted to in order to save Jamie and his men. Yi Tien Cho really is the best of them.

And honestly Jamie telling the captain to let YTC speak is maybe the most decent thing he’s ever done for the man.

And then the papers fly off in the wind and I realize that I give not a single fuck about the actual plot of this episode.

But Claire saying thank you to Yi Tien Cho is so much more than just thank you for quelling the fight. Like this guy just told the story of his life, of where he’s from, and now he needs to give it up. And she recognizes and respects and appreciates what it’ll cost him to give it up since she too is from a place the fuckers on the ship couldn’t possibly understand. And he did it for this group who, as he so passionately said, thinks the worst of him. I have so many feelings about Claire and Yi Tien Cho, guys.

They kept in the ship quickie! I def thought they were going to cut it! Bless them for keeping it. Blesss. Same feelings about the rest of the fluff still apply, but this show is probs always going to pull stuff like this so I clearly just need to get over it and accept the fluff I’m given like a #goodfan.

Jamie’s like believe me when I say, I fucked a mermaid.

(I swear, I *hated* the line last week when Jamie said Jenny would sooner believe Claire was a mermaid than from the future, but at least it means the most ridic lyric in the fucking song fits perfectly.)

And Jamie being cute about Claire’s hair. Awww.

I hate the king of men line. Hate it. Hate that the production is so fixated on that. And that they think it’s cute to keep including their weird in-jokes in the show itself.

But whatever. Snuggle time! Yay for snuggles! Embrace the fluff! Forget your issues with the show! Stop being a sourpuss!

Oh snap, the British are coming!  Never thought they’d see the day, when a big boat comin’ their way.

RIP Lt. Babyface. Long live Capt. Babyface!

Yay for Claire telling Jamie about her oath. And yay for Jamie actually getting it and respecting what she needs to do. It’s like ep. 306 Jamie again with the whole respecting Claire’s calling thing. So like, we should just ignore ep. 307 Jamie? Because he was an asshole about it.

Oh man, next week is gonna be rough, isn’t it. *All* the puking. This ain't Seaworld, this is real as it gets.

For real though if the puking noises next week are like the brothel noises in ep. 306, I’m going to just watch on mute or something with the closed captions because it’s over the top, show.

Ok if Thomas Leonard is Capt. Babyface, I guess that makes Elias Pound Midshipman Fetus.

Oh man the cook being all like I'm flippin’ burgers, you at Kinko's straight flippin’ copies. Don’t fuck with Claire when she’s in Dr. Claire mode, my dude. You will not win that fight.

Yeah. If I pretend like this episode is the first one of the season, I like this episode. I’m kind of pissed that the show managed to make me salty about fluff. I love fluff, why you make me salty about fluff, show? And now I just want a goddamn fluffernutter.

And since I’m ignoring everything that could have been up until now, it doesn’t bug me that Jamie and Claire are separated...again. Because lol nothing matters.

Fucking give me all the badass Dr. Claire you have, show.

She’s on a boat motherfucker, don't you ever forget.

[ritualwritten]

(( some Assorted Thoughts for elias with one of jonah’s eyes AU

content warnings:  eye horror, discussions of death, generally a bit gross ))

Jonah’s eye is in Elias’s right eye socket.

Elias can’t get the eye out.  It doesn’t sit in the socket quite right and is pretty visible in that fact, however, despite how tentative the connection appears to be, it won’t just... fall out.  That said, it could be removed with force, but Elias can’t even imagine doing so without having a panic attack and flashbacks to Jonah assaulting him.  So there it remains.

He did try going to the police in the immediate aftermath, but nothing came of it.  No one wants to deal with anything happening in the Institute and Jonah’s rich enough to make any problems disappear anyway.

The eye socket doesn’t want to heal.  It’ll remain permanently raw until either Jonah finishes possessing Elias, the eye is removed, or Jonah dies.  The Eye’s influence keeps it from becoming infected outright, similar to how it keeps Jonah’s body from rotting to pieces in the Panopticon.

By the start of the podcast, Elias knows how to endure the constant aching.  But the socket does regularly bleed or otherwise ooze, so he wears a gauze eyepatch.  This also has the benefit of hiding the fact Jonah’s eye moves entirely independently from Elias.  Jonah’s eye responds to where Jonah is looking. 

Elias can’t see out of Jonah’s eye so he wouldn’t be bothered by the chameleon-ing of his eyes, but that comes with the caveat that he was living with monocular vision.  I say was because I keep Elias’s blindness consistent throughout all verses, so by the podcast start, the vision in his own eye has deteriorated to the point where he’s legally blind and uses a cane to get around. 

Elias can be away from the Institute like he is because of Jonah’s eye.  He’s never “too far” from Jonah.  The eye’s kinda like a fucked up portable charger for not getting sick due to an eldritch connection to a research institute.  Conceivably, Elias could leave the country entirely, but Jonah’s eye wants to stay close by and exerts some minor influence to stay orbiting its body.  Once Elias is blind, he is totally divorced from the Institute and could remove Jonah’s eye while Jonah lives and bear no ill-consequences.  Jonah could also be killed and Elias would be fine.  Before the vision loss, if Jonah was killed then it would kill Elias too.

There are still records of Elias’s employment and those records say he is still 100% employed.  Funnily enough, he’s still getting paychecks from the Institute.  Elias doesn’t like it but, like, free money’s free money.

As always, Elias still wears those ridiculous triangle glasses, though once he’s using a cane, they no longer have prescription lenses in them.  He just likes the style.

From Jonah’s eye, as it’s kinda like a living Artifact, he does get some Spooky Effects.  Notably, if he has the eye uncovered and looks at someone, he can tell both if they’ve been Marked and their greatest fear.  Given he knows jackshit about the Entities, it’s an intense feeling that he’d have no idea how to describe.  Once he’s blind, he can’t pinpoint it to any individual unless that’s the only person he’s facing, but the feeling is still there.

Also, unfortunately, he gets blasted by visions and facts that Jonah dredges up from the Eye.  For example, when Jonah told Melanie about her father, Elias was getting the same experience.  He couldn’t hear what Jonah was saying, but out of nowhere he was bombarded with the same knowledge Melanie was, with the bonus of getting those details which Jonah was withholding.

Elias also suffers from near-nightly horrific nightmares.

Obviously, Jonah could very easily track down Elias and finish the possession or get his eye back.  He does not out of fear of what Elias would do once cornered.  Either damaging the eye or killing Jonah outright.  So long as both of his eyes are undamaged, Jonah retains his connection to the Eye, if he lost one... well, he doesn’t want to risk it.  Too busy watching Gertrude, he hasn’t had the time to set things up to try a more oblique way of getting it back and, once he realizes how he could start the Apocalypse, he figures that would solve the problem.

Honestly, he had thought Elias’s employment meant that he’d have to return eventually or fall ill, but that never happened.

It is fortunate for Jonah that Elias wears an eyepatch as, by default, he looks out of his eyes.  So, if Elias had Jonah’s eye uncovered, his vision would be split half-and-half between locations.  Which is disorienting.

To make up for the fact he would normally only have half his vision, Jonah wears an eyepatch with the owl logo of the Institute (embroidered in gold thread because he’s a dramatic bastard like that).  He just looks out of those eyes for his day-to-day. 

Jonah is still stuck in James Wright because he cannot complete a possession without both of his eyes.  Wright’s body’s aging adds an extra dash of desperation to Jonah’s plans to get the Apocalypse going.  He can’t risk the stolen body falling apart before then.

Jonah cannot influence Elias’s movements.  The eye itself has a desire to remain relatively close to its body, but that is essentially the extent of the influence.

Jonah is also slightly weaker without both of his eyes in his possession.

[ritualwritten]

💞 any muse(s) you'd like!

traits of romance || ACCEPTING

Jonah smiles, "Why, I think my romantic desires are rather simple. Humanity has so much practice worshiping gods." He can play the game with most anyone he needs to, but his only true love would be someone who kneels before him, leaves gifts like offerings at his altar.

---

Amber and Nicholas hold each other's hands.

"The thrill of fear I get when your gaze rips through to the heart of me," Nicholas says.

"Your command of language to say so much and so little all at once. You tease," Amber says.

---

Byron's breath fogs the air. "The hunter stained the snow scarlet. Oh, how he screamed when the frost claimed his catch, rendering it inedible. How he screamed when ice left his tinder useless. How he screamed when I took his hands with the promise I'd keep them warm."

[acemenagerie-a]

@type-3blade replied to this post: 

i feel like neighbor wise jonahlias magchard would be courteous enough, it’s just that people feel oddly skeeved out talking to him so they actively avoid it where given the chance but that *gesturing vaguely* THIS is new and irritating

courteous enough being relative and 100% in that his apartment isn’t a biohazard and he doesn’t keep anyone awake but god damn does he know all the gossip if someone HAS to interact with him despite seemingly everyone avoiding him

what i’m saying here is that if there are any friend groups of kids in that complex a few of them try to scare one another by talking about what they’ve heard about mister bouchard’s job ft a few skeptics who claim TMI is bullshit

(( yeah, yeah absolutely 

Jonah has also definitely ruined relationships with well-placed gossip just to watch the fallout like the bastard he is.  

I do think there is a facet of genuine irritation with being his neighbor though; he is still 100% crashing parties uninvited, with all the skill of a man with centuries of practice of loudly being where he is not wanted. ))

[acemenagerie-a]

(( writing jonah again after a decent while just reminded me that i have tiny sorta litmus tests for some muses to help me keep voices unique, make sure they’re in character, etc

jonah’s is ‘does he sound like the knife cat meme?’ if the answer is no, i need to rework the reply ))

[acemenagerie-a]

(( idk if I’ve ever brought it up here but Fanshawe can cook p decently

‘ace, all your muses can cook and/or bake’

Patently false, Jonah cannot and I’m 90% certain Harriet survives on fruit roll-ups, red bull, and fear. ))

[acemenagerie-a]

(( i realized that, while i am hot garbage at imagining measurements, i did have a vague idea of t.ma muse heights relative to one another and - since salesa is canonically 6′7 - i could extrapolate heights out from there.  so there’s a fuckin #lifehack for y’all hdgfjdhsfhjgsdjhfgdsf

joshua is the only one shorter than me sjhdfghjdsgjfhgsdjfg

Distortion is not here because it can be whatever height it wants, whenever it wants.  It tends to shift to be taller than whoever it is talking to because that is usually more intimidating.  However, sometimes it likes to change heights when someone looks away - growing either taller or shorter -  so that the person looks in the wrong spot when they turn back around.  I think Helen did that more than Michael.  In life, Michael was taller than Helen. ))

[acemenagerie-a]

Chase, closure, and lament for Jonah

Headcanons || ACCEPTING

Chase

Jonah had always been a curious, nosy sort and, thus, tended to run off to explore every nook and cranny of the Magnus Estate as a child.  Once, he went a little too far and stumbled upon a cave?  tunnel?  the years have marred what it actually was.  Being who he was, and still is, he immediately ducked into it with wild abandon.

He wasn’t as into ghost stories back then and, instead, imagined possible treasures and even a skeleton would just be set dressing, not a source of horror.  But he found neither, though, in the dark, cramped confines that bit into his clothes, something found him.

It chased him screaming from the rocky enclave.  He ran out bruised and bleeding from tripping and catching on the sharp stones.  To this day, he has no idea whether it was a simple animal or something more supernatural; he’s never checked even though it would be easy to Know.

Closure

He adamantly refuses to attend funerals.  Once he was independent enough to not have to go where ever his family dragged him, he stopped attending them altogether.  He didn’t even attend his own parents’ respective funerals, though he was very much not invited to either to begin with.

I’ve written about it before, but his father fell ill and passed before his mother.  He’d been called out when his father first got sick and came to help manage things and be some amount of support, but arrived to find that his father was not going to recover.  At that, he fled but not before a harrowing confrontation with his mother who demanded he stay, when he refused out of fear of seeing his own damned future in his father, she forbid him from darkening the doorstep ever again.

So he was not invited to his father’s funeral and his mother held her position until her death.

Lament

Jonah is not a man who regrets.  Either he succeeded wonderfully or you simply misinterpreted his goals, or, well, it wasn’t even that important anyway - he doesn’t care.  Everything works out in his favor because he decides what the story is on a dime.

The closest he’s gotten to genuinely lamenting something he did was with the aforementioned confrontation with his mother, but he also wouldn’t change his course of action if he got a chance to do it over again.  

[acemenagerie-a]

(( i keep thinking abt party-crasher jonah out here showing up to parties he absolutely was not invited to just to steal food and booze since the 18th century 

dhjfgsjhdfg wait

fanshawe: absolutely never contact me again. fuck you jonah, months later, sauntering in through the front door:  so i heard you were throwing a soiree, had to drop by, yes i will take some wine thank you fanshawe: ... stand fucking still so i can stab you i swEAR - !

))

[acemenagerie-a]

type-3blade replied to your post “type-3blade replied to your post “dream for the og elias bouchard”...”

maybe if you didn’t creep everyone out by knowing about all the parties you deliberately weren’t invited to you’d get invited more often :/

“But the drama of crashing a party!”

[acemenagerie-a]

(( I’m thinking and like... the only way to possibly keep Jonah out of a party you do NOT want him to attend is to, paradoxically, invite him.

It’s no guarantee, he may still show up.  He may decline the invitation and then still show up like an asshole.  But! He may decline and actually mean it.  He may also accept the invitation and then fucking purposefully not come just to be an asshole.  

Not inviting Jonah when you know him, however, is the surefire 100% way to get him to show up.

It’s all about his personal interest and highkey desire to be the center of attention.  Invitations suck out the mystique and can impede getting everyone’s eyes because you would have been expected. ))

[acemenagerie-a]

Repost With The Words You Most Associate With Your Character

Tagged by:  @xfaucheuse​ Tagging:  go for it!!

JONAH

Animal:  snake Cryptid:  does a crossroad’s demon count? Color:  green and gold Month:  february  Astrological Sign:  pisces Three Songs:  Mr. Malum - The Dear Hunter ; The Guide To Success - Joe Iconis ; The Faulty Feline Philosophy - Ferry ft. Gumi ENG Number:  8 Day or Night:  day Plant:  hemlock Season:  early spring, when some plants are trying to bloom but will likely be killed by a sudden frost Gemstone:  emerald Smell:  old paper and ink Food:  stolen birthday cake Candy:  cherry cordial Drink:  red wine Element:  air Positive Traits:  quick-witted, charismatic, observant, determined Negative Traits:  impulsive, vain, arrogant, manipulative, self-centered

[acemenagerie-a]

What Deadly Sin Are You?

Tagged by:  @xfaucheuse Tagging:  go for it!!

Fanshawe -  WRATH

You feel as though the World has wronged you. Maybe it has. Maybe it hasn't. That distinction isn't important. You take on any task with furious righteousness, and avenging angel, glorious in its destruction. But you do not care who gets burned. Or maybe you do, deep down, when you lie awake at night trying to calm your ire so you can finally sleep. A Little voice pops up in your head. "maybe I hurt more than I help?". No. You shove it down, a new wave of fumes engulfing you at the thought. No, this must be justified. Because if it isn't, you have no idea of who you even are anymore.

Elias -  SLOTH

You drift through life with no real goal. Maybe you were hurt as a child and believed you would never grow to need a goal. Maybe the stress of being an over-achiever burnt you out to the point you can't even gather the will to care anymore. Maybe you care too much. What's the point in trying when you will just fail, when failing hurts just SO much. Instead you lie there in the dark, paralyzed by fear, never daring to set a goal. How would you even begin to do that? Yet you feel this pull to do something. Why can't things just be like when you were young, when things came easy to you?

Jonah -  LUST

You are a slave to your desires. You long for a hedonistic life where pleasure follows pleasure, not necessarily sexual pleasures. In the style of Dionysus you simply want to sip your ambrosia spiked wine and lay back on soft silks, surrounded by anything you could ever desire.