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chuckisgod · 8 years ago

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Deals With the Devil (Lin x Reader) Part 2

Pairings: Lin x Reader

Warnings: Angst, lots of it.

Word Count: 3525... This is the longest thing I’ve ever written.

AN: This is it! It’s the end of my Supernatural-based fic. I’m probably going to go cry for hours now. I hope you like it!

Tags: @the-and-peggy @hamiltrashtothemax @plamspringsdancingontables @piercethemarti @fandomsinabookshelf @beautifulfound @hamil-tonn-of-trash @hamlltvn @barnesgasm @superwholockbooknerd526

Part 1

February 22, 2016 (366 days before) Catching a cab three streets up from the warehouse, Lin rode to the hospital, his heart racing a mile a minute. God if what that man, Crowley, had said was true, you’d be alive, but he’d also have a timer on his life. If what Crowley said was true, in precisely a year. He’d be gone.

As they arrived, his heart in his throat, he pictured you awake, hell even you being alive would be good enough for him. Pulling out his wallet he paid the driver and tipped him generously before walking back into the place he had raced out of earlier. “Mr. Miranda!” The lady at the front desk called him over, “We’ve been trying to get in contact with you for the past hour. Something happened. She’s awake and asking for you. Room 372.” The race down the hallway seemed quicker than last time he had completed it, and he realized that it because he knew you were okay, that you and the baby were okay. God, there was a little human he had created that was going to eventually live, and he would only be around to see it for four months. Four months that he would treasure his daughter or son. The door of the hospital room was ajar, and he could hear the humming of various machines. You might be alive, but you were still hurt. It wasn't even your fault. You had the right of way, and so you attempted to cross the street, but a cab had hit a patch of ice and couldn't stop in time before it plowed right into you.

Lin pushed the door open the rest of the way, and suddenly he was by your side. “I can’t believe you're okay,” he whispered, crying into his hands. “Last time I was here I thought you were dead.”

“I’m okay, just a little banged up.” He grabbed your hand, trying to be careful around the IV set in your arm.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” he asked rubbing his thumb on the skin on the back of your hand, his red eyes staring into yours like he was looking for an answer.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“The doctor found something interesting in one of your tests that I thought you might already know.” Seeing the confused look in your eye, taking the hand he was holding he gently set it on your lower abdomen.

May 28th, 2016 (270 days before) The vows Lin had written felt like a weight in his pocket as he fumbled with tying his tie. The room he was getting ready in seemed smaller than when he had entered it.

“Woah, Lin. Take it, steady man.” Suddenly Chris’s fingers were at his neck, retying the tie that Lin’s nervous fingers had mangled. “I don’t understand why you’re so nervous. It’s not like you haven’t been planning this for months.”

“I just- What if she doesn’t want to marry me.”

“Are you being serious right now? Because honestly if it’s even possible that girl loves you almost more than you love her.”

In the room you were getting ready in, you didn't have the same doubts. You knew Lin loved you. Lin had been so great with helping to plan the wedding and dealing with you being pregnant that obviously, he did.

And so as you walked out of the room to walk down the aisle, you weren’t worried about Lin being at the end of it; you were terrified of falling on your face. You only stumbled once, but thankfully it was right into the arms of the love of your life and knew that life your life was going to be fine if Lin was in it.

June 12th, 2016 (255 days before) Trying to find a dress for the Tony's while five months pregnant was about as difficult as you would have imagined but knowing you had to be there to support your husband and his act of creation, but you powered through.

You might have been cutting it a little close, but the dress you had decided on with Pippa and Jasmine's help was worth it.

When Lin finally saw you in your dress the night of the awards, he gasped before moving over to you and swinging you around. “Careful,” you warned.

“You look beautiful,”

During the limo ride, Lin must have been nervous, his leg bouncing and his hands balled into fists.

“Hey,” you whispered, pulling one of his hands into both of yours. “Hamilton's nominated sixteen times. If you don't win something, it must have been rigged.”

The limo was pulling onto the road, and suddenly Lin was opening the door into the chaos and pulling you across the seat and into the craziness.

You wished you could avoid the red carpet, but Lin's hand on your arm kept you steady and sure that you would be okay, while he chatted with the press.

You watched later as the ‘little musical’ your husband had written won awards for almost every category it was nominated in. You weren’t surprised when your husband even ended up taking home 2 of the awards for himself.

July 9th, 2016 (228 days before) Lin’s last night as Hamilton started out as most days in the Miranda household do, with Lin waking you up by singing whatever song was stuck in his head. Today it was Helpless, and as soon as he saw that you were up, he pulled you out of bed and swung you around the apartment.

After making a breakfast fit for an entire royal family, you were eating for two, after all, you and Lin took the A-line farther into the city and parted ways close to the Richard Rodgers where you took a turn that led you deeper into the city towards work. “I’ll see you at the show,” Lin whispered, kissing the hand he was holding before letting you go.

Throughout the day as Lin was saying not goodbye but so long for now to some of his coworkers, some of his best friends. He tried to picture himself anywhere other than where he was, and he couldn’t even imagine it.

He felt more energized during the night’s performance almost as though him knowing you were in the crowd watching him made him two hundred times better than the perfect he already was, and when he was making his final bow he sought out your eyes in the crowd.

As you waded through the crowd of people in the lobby of the Richard Rodgers after the show, you made your way backstage. Stopping into the girl’s dressing room, you watched Pippa’s teary goodbye with the girls who played her sisters, and you almost began crying when she turned her attention to you in the doorway.

“There you are!” A breathless Daveed exclaimed almost pulling you out of your embrace with Pippa, “Lin’s been looking for you everywhere, and he was too scared of being mobbed to go out into the lobby.

“Bye Pippa! I’ll see you for pie in a couple of days. Right?” She nodded and let you go. Knocking at the door to his dressing room, you heard a muffled, “Come in,” before you pushed open the door. You almost burst out laughing when you did. Lin was stuck. One of his arms out of the top of his Hamilton costume, but his other arm and his head were hopelessly tangled in the fabric.

“Geez Lin, What am I going to do with you?”

October 12th, 2016 (133 days before) The day his daughter was born, Lin was very busy. He had been writing the intro for a talk show he was appearing in the next week while you slept in the next room. Little did he know that within his next few hours his whole life was going to change or that you would end up breaking his hand in the process.

Aria Grace Miranda was born on a partly cloudy Wednesday in the middle of October kicking and screaming with all ten fingers and all ten toes. But later as friends and family stopped by to see the new little one they would remark on how she was the sweetest, most well-behaved baby they had ever seen, her parents would smile at each other and know that they were possibly never going to get a full night’s sleep ever again. November 2, 2016 (112 days before) Lin walked briskly, his coat flapping in the cold winter’s breeze. Ducking inside the open door of a nearby bookstore he decided to roam through the sections, as usual, when he came to the children’s section, he ran his fingers across the spines, picturing his baby girl hopefully asleep in her crib. He would only ever know her as a baby, but you would be there for everything, her first word when she started walking.

In 10 years, his little princess wouldn’t be able to determine his voice from the next guy’s. Taking out his phone, he grabbed the closest book on the shelf, “Goodnight Moon,” and flipping to the audio recorder, started reading.

After he had done 3 or 4 books, an employee of the bookstore came over and just watched him for a couple of minutes. “Is there a reason why you’re reading children’s books into your phone, sir?”

“I’m-” how was he going to explain that he was reading children’s books into his phone because in a little under four months he’d be dead. “-I’m sick and I only have a few months to live, and I want my daughter to be able to hear my voice reading a bedtime story to her every night for as long as she wants one.”

“We actually have better recording equipment in the back, if you'd like to use it. I could talk to my boss and see if she'd let you.”

Lin ended up recording almost every children's book in the store in the 3 and a half months that he had left, keeping them on DVDs that he kept hidden in a box in the back of the closet that you shared.

When he got home that night though he kissed you on the cheek and set the baby on his lap to watch the Little Mermaid, wishing that he'd have forever, he snuggled closer to your side, hoping for a miracle but knowing it probably wasn't going to come.

December 25th, 2016 (59 days before) When you were little, you remembered waking up as early as you could to open your presents, but as you grew older, it became nicer and nicer to sleep in as late as possible. Usually, you could, Lin was someone who liked his sleep, but this Christmas, Ari had kept you both awake all night with a fever and a cough and since you were already up you decided to do Christmas early before the rest of the world was awake.

For hours it was just you, Lin, and the baby, watching Christmas movies together on the couch while outside the sun began to rise over the George Washington Bridge.

Later when your house was filled with rowdy nephews and both pairs of parents, the opening of the actual presents began while everyone munched on the cookies that were made with loving care by Abuela the night before.

And as everyone sat around the Christmas tree Lin realized that this might be the last time his whole family was together like this before what was probably his death. Lin hugged the nephew sitting on his lap a little tighter, and as everyone was leaving, he made sure to let them know how much he loved them.

December 31st, 2016 (53 days before) The clock ticked steadily closer to midnight on New Year's Eve, and for the first time in years, Lin wasn’t drunk out of his mind. Instead of the loud music and dancing, the tone was decidedly quieter, but the apartment was still filled with some of your closest friends. Lin, Chris, and Tommy were out on the balcony watching the sky for the fireworks that were sure to come later, while you and Chris’s wife were trying to get the baby back to sleep because the noise of the ‘party’ had woken her up. Javi, Anthony, and Lac were just talking in the kitchen with a couple of beers, while “the Schuyler sisters” were playing a card game at the folding table a couple of feet away from you.

When you finally got the baby to sleep you placed her back to sleep in the crib, kissing her forehead before turning off the lights and shutting the door.

“Did you finally get her to sleep?” Lin asked out on the balcony after you walked out to join him. Staring up at the night sky, he tried not to imagine what New Years next year would be like. Last year he had enjoyed making resolutions for what his life would be like in this new year. He would never have imagined it would lead to 2 Tonys and a Grammy and his marriage to you and a baby. This year he just wanted to live longer than the time he was given.

As the time ticked closer to midnight, everyone from inside filtered out onto the balcony. Counting down the seconds, he pulled you closer to him and as the clock struck midnight he pressed a kiss to your lips.

February 20th, 2016 (2 days before) “You haven’t been to your parent’s house in ages, y/n,” Lin spoke, coming up behind you and wrapping his arms around you. “I’m sure they miss you and the last time they saw Aria was Thanksgiving. She has a tooth now, and she can roll over. When they were here last, she couldn’t really do much.” “What’s brought this on honey? Are you trying to get rid of us.”

“Your mom called me and told me she missed you. She was so used to getting to see you all the time before we got married. Now she says she sees you maybe once a month.” He smiled at you before leading you over to the couch and taking your hands in his. “I won’t mind if you go, you know. I know you miss her too. Plus Chris and I were going to have a guy’s night out, so you wouldn’t be missing anything.” In Lin’s mind, he was torn between begging you not to go, because he didn’t want to die alone, and hoping that you would leave because he didn’t think he could live with the fact that you would watch him die.

Picking up the baby off the floor where she was lying on her back, he smiled at her as she reached over and tried to grab a handful of your hair. “Hi Ari,” you cooed at her.

“What if we leave tomorrow, early, and then maybe Ari and I will stay there for another day or two so that you and Chris can have that man day you’ve been talking about lately.”

Lin gave a sad smile, that ‘man day,’ you were talking about would probably just be him and Chris eating dinner and him trying to let Chris know how much he thought of him as a brother.

That night Lin held you as you slept, trying not to think of it as being the last time he would see you sleeping. One of the last times he would see you ever.

February 21st, 2016 (1 day before) Lin may have been the one who was trying to send away his wife and infant daughter away before what may as well be his death, but that doesn’t mean saying goodbye to them didn’t hurt. It was so very painful.

Your bags were packed and in front of the door before Lin had gotten out of bed in the morning, which wasn’t surprising. Lin hadn’t been sleeping very well as the months got closer to the end of his deal.

Before you left, he made sure to kiss both of you, you on the lips, Ari on the forehead, and told you exactly how much he loved you. “More than from here to the end of the universe and back.”

The rest of the day Lin spent getting his affairs in order. He took the box of DVDS that he'd hidden in the back of the closet and placed them on the dining room table along with his will and a note that as Lin had written, he’d burst into tears.

Y/N, I feel like knowing this was going to happen beforehand should have prepared me for the thought of never seeing you again. After all, I did this for you and Ari without this the both of you would have been in a grave and I just couldn’t live with that. My heart doesn't want to believe it's true, but no matter what my heart believes, know that I love you with every fiber of my being and that as my time grows closer that it's the only thing keeping me from falling apart. I love you from the end of the universe and back. Lin

Lin tried as hard as he could to be the person who no matter the circumstance was always smiling, but eating lunch with his best friend hours before was something that he couldn’t quite shake.

Chris noticed that Lin was acting strange around halfway through lunch and started watching him, making mental notes on how he was acting to talk to you about later. Something was wrong with Lin and although it was probably due to what happened to you last year he needed to know what was wrong with him so the both of you could fix it. Lin telling him that he loved him like a brother as they were leaving the restaurant made alarm bells go off in his brain but by the time he had processed what he’d said Lin was too far away to go after.

As the day went on Lin grew more and more fidgety, and if someone on the street had happened to bump into him, he probably would have snapped.

He found himself in Central Perk in the minutes before midnight, the howls of dogs close by. Taking out his phone as the sound moved closer, he called you, but it went straight to voicemail. “I love you and Ari more than anything in this life. Please. Please don’t do anything stupid.”

As the clock ticked over to midnight, the howls increased all of a sudden and then there was the pain. So much more than he would’ve imagined before and then he felt nothing.

February 22nd, 2016 You got the call telling you something had happened at 3 in the morning, and before you knew it you were on the way to the hospital though when you arrived and spotted Chris you knew something had happened.

"No." you whispered, hanging onto Chris because at this point he was the only thing keeping you upright.

"What happened?" you heard Chris ask as you dissolved into sobs.

"It looks to be some sort of animal attack, certainly something we've never seen before this far into the city."

Of course, it would be Lin's luck that the week you were visiting your parents would be the week that there'd be a pack of wild animals roaming the city.

As the minutes passed the tightness in your chest refused to let up. It would probably never let up. For the rest of your life, you'd be dealing with the grief of your husband dying.

Your mother called a couple of minutes later having heard you rush out the door in a frenzy after you had gotten the call. You couldn't talk to her, so Chris took over. He guided you to a chair and then explained what had happened to your parents trying to stop himself from crying in the process. When he was done, he took you home, neither of you noticing the box or papers on the dining room table.

Curling up in bed with one of Lin's shirts you cried until you fell asleep and then cried some more, barely eating.

February 27th, 2016 (5 days after) It had been almost a week since what had happened to Lin, and it was as if a fog had descended on your life and your daughter was the only thing that let you breathe. Even at four months her smile and personality was so much like her fathers, and you knew that eventually the two of you would heal together.

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