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ghostinthelibrarywrites · 4 years

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Lil Bleater’s Life of Crime

For @sugar-and-spice-witcher-bingo

Prompt: Meet cute

Pairing: Eskel/Jaskier

Rating: T

Tags: Modern AU; First meeting; Fluff; Goat dad Eskel; Lil Bleater being a certified menace

Summary: Eskel starts bringing Lil Bleater, his most sociable goat, to the farmer’s market to attract people to his stand. It works great, up until she gets loose and wreaks havoc at the middle school music department’s bake sale. Luckily, Jaskier, the pretty music teacher, is sympathetic.

This was inspired by a fic idea @kueble sent me a while back. Thank you for the lovely idea!

By the time Eskel realizes that Lil Bleater is missing, it’s already too late.

As most disasters in Eskel’s life have been, bringing Lil Bleater to the Ard Carraigh Farmer’s Market was Lambert’s idea. Eskel’s little stand, where he sells milk, cheese, and goat’s milk soap, has been getting overlooked every week, so Lambert suggested that Eskel bring Lil Bleater with him to draw people to his stand. After all, she’s one of Eskel’s friendlier goats, adorable and charming with her brown and white dappled fur and big, innocent eyes. She loves attention, especially if the people giving her attention have tasty-looking clothes.

She’s also a fucking menace.

Eskel has just finished an endless transaction with a woman who spent far too much time asking questions about the benefits of goat’s milk soap for the one measly bar she bought, when he looks around and sees that the lead he just had Lil Bleater tied to is missing one tiny terror of a goat.

“Fuck,” Eskel mutters, at the same time he hears a man’s voice yell, “Oh, shit!”

Eskel doesn’t need to consult with the fortune teller three stands down to know the cause of the ruckus. Abandoning his wares and his cash register, he books it through the enormous crowd of people, trying his best not to trip over strollers and dog leashes. He finds the source of the yelling, a young man wearing a violently flowered shirt standing outside one of the stands, holding a wriggling Lil Bleater in his arms.

“Is this yours?” the man asks Eskel cheerfully.

Eskel’s mouth goes dry. The man in front of him may be the most attractive person he’s ever seen, with thick brown hair, big blue eyes, and a good amount of chest hair peeking out from underneath his button up shirt. He’s tall and lean, but he must be stronger than he looks if he’s holding a seventy pound goat with such apparent ease. And then Eskel looks past the man to his stand, which bears the sign, “Bake sale! Support the Ard Carraigh Middle School Music Department!”

Oh, fuck. Lil Bleater has a notorious sweet tooth, another thing Eskel blames on Lambert. His little brother is the one who started feeding her human food. But this is the first time she’s literally stolen sweets from children.

If there’s a goat hell, Lil Bleater is going to it. And she’ll probably take Eskel down with her.

“What did she eat?” he asks.

“Oh, not much.” The man looks over his shoulder. “Just Mrs. Piotrski’s famous blackberry pie, the Novaks’ brownies, which weren’t much of a loss, to be honest, and the sugar cookies I made.”

“Ah, fuck.” Eskel reaches in his back pocket for his wallet. “I can replace it all. I’m so sorry. She’s… a handful.”

“And an armful.” The man smiles prettily. “What’s this pint-sized terror’s name?”

“Lil Bleater.”

“A pleasure, my lady,” the man says as Lil Bleater begins to chew on his shirt.

“Here.” Eskel hands him two twenty crown bills, then scoops the goat from his arms before she can destroy what looks like a very expensive shirt. “Does that cover the damage?”

“And then some.” The man’s eyes glimmer with good humor. “I’m Jaskier.”

“I’m, uh, Eskel.” Being the focus of that blue gaze leaves Eskel tongue-tied and flustered. “Sorry again.”

“No need to apologize. You’ve more than made up for it.” Jaskier scratches Lil Bleater under the chin. “In fact, it looks like you’ve given me too much money. I can’t let you leave without a baked good. Pick your poison.”

“Uh.” Eskel’s eyes roam over the impressive assortment of baked goods, until his eyes fall on a tray of sugar cookies decorated with multicolored icing. “Those look good.”

“Oh, my sugar cookies! You have excellent taste.” Jaskier picks up one of the sugar cookies, then seems to notice that Eskel’s arms are full of goat. “Ah. May I?”

Bewildered, Eskel opens his mouth and lets Jaskier pop a piece of sugar cookie into it. He can feel his face turn a brilliant red and hopes that Jaskier will think it’s from the warm day and the exertion of keeping a struggling goat under control. “It’s, um, good.”

“Want to know a secret?” Jaskier lowers his voice to a stage whisper. “They’re slice and bake. And my roommate did the icing. I can’t bake to save my life”

Eskel smirks. “What will the children think?”

“I’m not afraid of the children, more of their terrifying, judgmental parents.” Jaskier shudders dramatically.

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Eskel tells him with mock gravitas.

“I knew it would be. You have a trustworthy face.”

Eskel’s never heard his mangled face described as “trustworthy” before, but he’ll take it.

Jaskier feeds him the rest of the cookie and asks, “Come here often, Eskel?”

“Uh, every week,” Eskel says. “I sell goats’ milk, cheese, and soap. You?”

“Not often, no.” Jaskier’s gaze flickers up and down. “But I think I might need to change that.”

Somehow, Eskel’s face grows warmer. “You work at the school?”

“I teach music,” Jaskier says. “We’re in desperate need of new equipment. Some of the instruments the kids are playing are older than I am.”

Since he looks no older than twenty-five, that’s not saying much, but Eskel nods. “Well, sorry my goat took money from your students.”

“Oh, don’t you worry,” Jaskier says. “You two are my favorite customers I’ve had all day.”

Eskel is trying to think of something to say to that when he abruptly remembers that he left all his wares and his cash register unattended. “I, uh, should get back.”

“Of course,” Jaskier says. “I hope I’ll see you around, Eskel.”

Eskel just nods awkwardly, face flaming, and flees.

***

He doesn’t see Jaskier the next week. He tries not to be too disappointed by that.

***

Two weeks after Lil Bleater’s ignominious escape attempt, Eskel is walking into the farmer’s market when he hears guitar music and hears a warm, rich voice singing an upbeat love song. He follows the sound and finds Jaskier standing by the entrance, strumming his guitar with a sign next to him urging people to donate to support the middle school’s music department. Most people walk by without stopping, but a few linger to drop a couple of crowns into his guitar case and listen to him sing. Eskel is already running late to set up his stand, but he finds himself pausing to watch.

When Jaskier sees Eskel, a wide smile splits his face. As soon as the song draws to a close, he puts down his guitar and calls out, “Eskel!”

Eskel moves closer, feeling himself flush. “You’re good.”

“Why, thank you,” Jaskier says. “No Lil Bleater today?”

“No.” Eskel shakes his head. “I decided to make her stay at home and think about what she did.”

“But I don’t have any baked goods for her to steal. I’m sure it would have been fine.”

“She’s not picky. Without baked goods, she probably would have eaten your guitar.”

Jaskier gasps and clutches at the instrument. “Don’t say things like that where she can hear you. She’s a sensitive soul.”

“Sorry.” Eskel chuckles.

“We’re holding another bake sale next weekend,” Jaskier says. “Maybe I’ll see you and Lil Bleater there? Hopefully without her getting loose to cause havoc again.”

Eskel should say no. After all, bringing Lil Bleater back to the farmer’s market sounds like a recipe for disaster, but he finds it very hard to say no to Jaskier’s big blue eyes when the music teacher is looking at him like that. “Maybe you will,” he says.

***

The next weekend, Eskel brings his twelve year old niece, Ciri, to the farmer’s market with him and Lil Bleater in order to babysit the goat.

“Just keep an eye on her,” Eskel tells Ciri while he sets up his stand. “She’s wily.”

Ciri gives him an exasperated look. “I’m not going to be outsmarted by a goat, Uncle Eskel.”

“That goat has outsmarted me multiple times.”

She arches an eyebrow in an expression that’s pure Yennefer. At least she comes by it honestly. “I think I can handle her.”

“Don’t get too cocky.” Eskel shakes his head with mock gravity. “That’s how she gets you. She takes advantage of your hubris.”

Ciri giggles and rolls her eyes.

For the first couple of hours, everything goes fine. Lil Bleater is her charming self, driving people in droves to Eskel’s stand to say hi. Eskel’s products are flying off the shelves. He’s dealing with a line of people waiting to make their purchases when he looks around to find Ciri chatting animatedly with a pair of redheaded children around her age. Lil Bleater is nowhere to be seen.

“Ciri!” Eskel calls. “Where is Lil Bleater?”

Ciri’s eyes go huge. “Oh no.”

“Excuse me,” Eskel says to the woman who was in the middle of making a purchase and runs. “Ciri, watch the stand!”

He rushes through the farmer’s market, listening for the sounds of chaos. And then he hears a familiar bleat and turns around to see Jaskier walking towards him, a very irritated looking Lil Bleater in his arms.

“You know, at first I thought she was just stopping by to see me,” Jaskier says. “And then she stole a brownie right out of my hand. I feel used.”

Eskel’s lips tug into a smile. “She’s mercenary like that.”

“I’ll say.” Jaskier gives the goat a mournful look. “I thought we were friends.”

Lil Bleater begins chewing on his hair.

Eskel scoops her out of Jaskier’s arms. “I’m sorry. My niece was supposed to be watching her, but she got distracted.”

“No need to apologize. The only casualties were my brownie and my trust in the power of friendship.”

Eskel chuckles.

“And now you’re laughing at my pain.” Jaskier presses a hand over his heart. “Today is full of devastation.”

“Uncle Eskel, you found her!” Ciri comes hurrying up to them.

Eskel groans. “Ciri, you were supposed to be watching the stand.”

“It’s fine, Hjalmar and Cerys are watching it.”

“Who are Hjalmar and Cerys?”

“Those kids I was talking to. Don’t worry, they know what they’re doing. Their dad runs a woodworking stand here. Hi, Mr. Pankratz.”

“Hi, Ciri!” Jaskier grins. “So Eskel is your famous uncle, then? Not the foulmouthed one, I’ve met him.”

“I don’t know about famous.” Eskel feels his face flushing again.

“Ciri talks about you all the time,” Jaskier says with a twinkle in his eye.

Eskel looks between Jaskier and Ciri. “You two know each other?”

“Ciri’s in my class,” Jaskier says. “One of my best students.”

Eskel says nothing, since he knows for a fact that Ciri takes after the rest of their family and can’t carry a tune to save her life.

“She has one of the best attitudes in the class,” Jaskier says, which sounds more like the Ciri Eskel knows and loves.

“I was supposed to be watching Lil Bleater.” Ciri looks sheepish. “But she outsmarted me.”

“I told you not to let your hubris get in the way,” Eskel tells her.

“She’s a really smart goat!”

“That she is.” Eskel hands Lil Bleater over to Ciri. “Take her back to the stand, please, and make sure she doesn’t commit any more crimes today.”

“I’ll my best. Nice seeing you, Mr. Pankratz!”

“You too, Ciri.” Jaskier’s smile widens as he turns back to Eskel. “We need to stop meeting like this.”

Eskel scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah, sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry,” Jaskier says. “It’s nice to finally put a face to the name, after a whole year of hearing about Ciri’s awesome uncle and his goats. I should have put two and two together.”

“She’s a good kid,” Eskel says. “She spent a lot of time at my farm growing up.”

“So I’ve heard.” Jaskier tilts his head to the side, looking a bit uncertain. “You know, I did have my brownie cruelly snatched out of my hand. I’m quite hungry. Do you think Ciri has your stand covered?”

“Probably,” Eskel says. “So long as she doesn’t let Lil Bleater go again.”

“Excellent. And my colleague surely has the bake sale under control. There’s a stand selling sandwiches nearby. Why don’t you let me buy you lunch?”

“Shouldn’t I buy you lunch? Since it was my goat who stole your brownie?”

“You can buy next time,” Jaskier says and warmth spreads through Eskel’s chest. “So, what do you say, Eskel? I’ve heard so many stories about you and I want to hear more.”

“Not much to tell,” Eskel murmurs, feeling unaccountably sheepish.

“Oh, I don’t think that’s true,” Jaskier says. “So, lunch?”

“I’d like that.” And as Eskel walks with Jaskier through the crowd of people, he decides that Lil Bleater is going to get all the treats she could ever want later. She deserves them.

***

@buttercupsanddandelions (If anyone else would like to be added to my taglist, for jaskel or otherwise, just let me know!)

#the witcher #jaskel #jeskel #eskel x jaskier #eskel #jaskier #my fic #my writing

202 notes · View notes

queenxxxsupreme · 3 years

Note

Omg Kacey you should write about the dad witchers being reluctant about getting their child's first ever pet, since you know dad's usually don't want the pet but always end up falling in love with it 😅

A/N: Sooo I did a thing and combined a few of these together for a dad!witchers fic...... I hope this turned out well cause I don’t normally combine asks like this...

***

Lambert

“No. No way! Absolutely not!”

“Lambert-,”

“No, Y/N! Don’t even use that tone with me! You know cats don’t like witchers! Do you know what I am? A witcher, Y/N!” Your husband threw his hands into the air rather dramatically.

You faked a look of surprise, eyes widening and mouth falling open.

“Really? A witcher? After all these years, you never thought to tell me? I had absolutely no way of knowing.”

“That attitude is not necessary, Y/N.” Lambert muttered. He turned his head to look in the direction Eva was in.

She sat in the grass beneath the tall oak in the front yard. The calico kitten that you brought back from your trip to town was bouncing around in the grass next to her.

“Lambert, Eva is excited that she found it.” You lowered your voice as you followed his gaze to your daughter. “It’s young and needs a home.”

“It probably has fleas. And it stinks. I can smell it all the way over here.” The witcher grumbled.

“Lambert, please.” Your eyes found him. “It would break her heart if we had to find another home for it.”

Yellow eyes searched yours for a few moments before he groaned loudly.

“Fine. She can keep the mangy thing. But I don’t want it anywhere near my bed or near me. Don’t want its fur making me itchy.”

“I didn’t think witchers were allergic to anything.”

“We aren’t…. I just don’t like cat hair.”

“Okay, Mr. Grumpy.” You gave him a smile, placing your hand on his arm. “Thank you.”

He muttered something incoherent under his breath, eyes flickering back to the cat.

***

A few days had passed since the kitten came to live within your home. Lambert kept his distance from the cat promptly named Patches due to the patches of orange, black, brown, and white fur it had.

The witcher was currently in the living room taking a nap on his favorite chair that sat nearest to the fireplace.

A pressure on his lap began to pull him from his sleep. He shifted around a bit. The weight moved from his lap to his arm.

Whatever it was, it was warm…. And it seemed to have four points of contact.

As those thoughts went through Lambert’s head, he found himself suddenly awake and looking down at the cat. Patches looked back up at him and meowed rather loudly.

“Ah! Fuck!”

Patches continued to walk along his arm, perfectly balanced on his forearm. Its tail flicked back and forth.

“Y/N!”

“Mommy’s outside with the horses.” Eva spoke from the kitchen table.

“Eva! Eva! Come get the cat!”

“I’m coloring, daddy.”

“Eva Marie!”

“Daddy, he’s just a little kitty. He’s not gonna hurt you.”

“Eva, come get this cat-,”

“You’re scared of kitty cats!” Eva giggled. “Wait until I tell Uncle Geralt and Uncle Esk!”

“I’ll give the kitty cat to Uncle Geralt and Uncle Esk and let him have it.” Lambert muttered under his breath, mimicking the way Eva has said Eskel’s name. She had yet to learn how to properly say Eskel’s name and was still calling him ‘Esk’ just as she had when she was learning to talk.

Patches meowed again then jumped up onto Lambert’s shoulder. He tensed up, eyes closing tightly as he prepared for something to happen.

“What are you in here yelling for?” You closed the front door behind yourself.

“Y/N, I swear. This damn cat is about to be coyote food if you don’t….” Lambert trailed off as Patches curled up on his shoulder. “What-What is it doing?”

“Looks like Patches is getting ready to suck your blood.” You giggled. You moved towards the table, admiring Eva’s drawings.

Lambert’s glare on the cat softened as he realized it seemed to be falling asleep on his shoulder. Its heartbeat was slowing down and it made a low purring noise.

“I think daddy’s scared of Patches.” Eva whispered to you.

You looked over at your husband. He was no longer as tense as what he had been. He even had one hand up on the cat to pet it.

“I think he’s getting used to him.” You leaned down to kiss her head.

Eskel

Rain trickled down from dark clouds above the house. Eskel guided his horse towards the barn. Both were eager to get out of the rain. But as Eskel neared the barn door, Scorpion began to pull against the lead and grunt.

“Easy, boy.”

Scorpion made noises of displeasure, backing away from the barn as if something lurked inside that posed a threat. His ears were pressed flat against his head and his nostrils flared.

Eskel knew what he was trying to say and wouldn’t press him to go any further. Curious and concerned about what was in the barn, he tethered the horse to a post just outside of the barn before entering the structure.

Though the barn was pitch black, the witcher had no trouble seeing in the dark.

He could hear the goats before he saw them. They bleated from their enclosure to the right, wanting his attention immediately. He’d greet them after he found out what had Scorpion so upset.

Venturing further into the barn, your horse stuck its head out of its stable.

Eskel was confused. The animals in the barn didn’t seem concerned or distraught. Why was Scorpion so afraid?

As he was turned to leave, he caught an unfamiliar scent in the air. It was the distinct odor of wild canine.

The hair on the back of his neck stood up as he began to follow the scent trial to the very last stall on the left. Peering over the stall door, Eskel spotted a pair of eyes peering up at him.

***

“Y/N!” He shouted your name as he entered the house. The force at which he barged in spooked you, making you jump to your feet. He was never so loud and disruptive.

“Eskel! What is it?” You panicked, fearing something terrible had happened.

“There’s a wolf in the barn. Have we lost any of the livestock since I’ve been gone?” He asked, moving towards the window at the back of the house that faced the woods. “Is Lil Bleater still in here?”

“Oh, Eskel.” You put your hand over your heart and laughed softly.

He turned his head to look at you, eyes widening. Why were you laughing?

“It’s just a pup.”

“And a pup means the mother is nearby. I wanted to make sure you, Nadia, and Bleater were safe before I remove it and take it back to the woods-,”

“NO!” Nadia shouted from the hallway.

Both you and Eskel looked in her direction.

“Daddy, you can’t take her back!” Nadia shook her head, brows furrowed together as she moved towards you. She tugged at the skirt of your nightgown. “Tell him, mommy! Tell him!”

“We found the pup in the woods a week ago.” You put your hand on her head as you looked at your husband. “It was crying out horribly. Its family had been killed by hunters. So we took it in. Everyone in the barn has adjusted to it.”

“Y/N, it’s…. It’s a wolf.” Eskel spoke quietly, not wanting to upset Nadia. “It won’t stay small forever. It’s dangerous.”

“I know, love. But right now…. Now it’s just a baby.” You offered him a little smile. “It’s just a helpless little thing. Think of when you found Bleater.”

“She’s a goat, Y/N.”

You fell silent. You knew Eskel wouldn’t be happy with the wolf pup being in the barn. It would be dangerous for Nadia and you knew this, but she never went outside without either of you with her anyways. You’d never let harm fall on her.

You brushed your fingers through Nadia’s hair, looking down at her.

“Come on, darling. We must go back to bed. I’m sure daddy will come tuck you in momentarily.”

“What about Luna, mommy?”

“Luna?” Eskel repeated.

“The puppy.”

Eskel sighed, bringing his hand up to rub his eyes.

“Nadia, love. It’s not a puppy–,”

“But she is, daddy! She’s a puppy and she gives me kisses and nibbles on my fingers when I give her leftovers from dinner!”

“You’ve been feeding it?” Eskel’s eyes shot up to you.

“I wasn’t going to let it starve out there.”

“I won’t let you take her!” Nadia dashed towards the door but her father was quicker, stepping into her way and placing a hand on the door.

“Nadia, I’m– I need you to calm down for a moment.”

“Don’t take her, daddy!”

“I’m not, love. I just need you to calm down. Take a deep breath and calm down for me. Okay? Can you do that?”

Nadia took a deep breath, her brows still furrowed together as she looked at Eskel.

“It’s late and you need to sleep.” He kissed her temple. “I’ve missed you.”

“Missed you too, daddy.”

“In the morning, we can talk about her. About Luna. For tonight, she can stay in the barn.”

Nadia threw her arms around Eskel’s neck, squeezing him tightly.

“Thank you, daddy! Thank you! Thank you!”

Eskel looked at you as he rubbed her back.

“We’ll introduce you to Luna in the morning.” You moved to kiss him. “Let’s get little Nadia to bed.”

Geralt

Geralt placed his sword down against the wall next to the front door. He brushed his fingers through his hair, letting out a soft breath as he listened to what was going on throughout the house.

The house was silent which was quite odd. Bram and Lana were quite a loud pair and always kept you and Geralt on your toes.

The witcher furrowed his brows, listening carefully for the teenagers. They were out in the backyard.

“Ew, Lana! Get that thing away from me!”

“Calm down, Bram.”

“Where are you going with that thing?”

“I’m taking it into the house.”

“Are you mad? Mom and dad will kill you!”

A hand on the small of Geralt’s back surprised him. You stood next to him, having just walked into the house.

“Is everything alright, love?” You asked, brows furrowed together. “I scared you.”

“Just listening to the kids.” Geralt shook his head softly. He leaned down to kiss your forehead. “How was your trip to the market?”

“Bountiful. Found Bram new trousers. He’s as rough on clothes as you are.” You began to pull the items out from a basket and satchel you placed on the table. “I also found him a few books I thought he might like. They’re those old folk stories he likes.”

Geralt picked one of the books up, inspecting the cover page. He hummed.

“He used to read these to Lana when she was little.”

“He did.” You smiled. “And for Lana, our wild one, I found a few little trinkets and a lovely dagger I thought she’d like. It has a pretty ruby-,”

“Mom! Dad!” Bram came through the back door, unknowingly interrupting you.

“Hello, Bram.” You greeted him.

“Lana’s going to be in- Ooh, what did you bring home?” He was quickly distracted by the knickknacks you placed on the table.

“The trousers, the books, and the ring are yours.”

Bram picked up the ring to examine it.

“It looks like one that Uncle Jaskier wears.”

“It’s very similar. I thought you might like it.”

“Mom! Dad! Come take a look at this!” Lana spoke excitedly as she moved towards the kitchen.

Geralt lifted his head to look at his daughter. His stomach dropped at the sight of the creature she held in her hands. It was a long black and brown snake.

“Lana! What are you doing with that thing in the house?” You sighed.

“I wanted to show you the little guy. He looks really cute, doesn’t he?”

“Lana, go put that thing back where you found it.” Geralt spoke rather quickly.

“Are you afraid of him, daddy? He’s just a little snake.” Lana took a step towards Geralt, who became rigid as he watched the animal carefully.

“Lana, you’re such a creep!”

“Bram!” You scolded your son. “Lana, we don’t bring wild animals into the house. You’re fourteen. You should know that.”

“But there was a hawk outside and I didn’t want him to get eaten.” Lana frowned, looking down at the snake. It began to slither up her arm towards her neck. “Do you think we could keep him?”

“Absolutely not.”

“But dad!”

“It could be venomous, Lana.”

“Dad, we were talking just last week about getting a pet!”

“A dog, not a snake. Take it out into the forest far enough away that it won’t attack the chickens.”

You could see the tears well up in her eyes as she looked down at the snake. She nodded her head obediently and turned to leave.

“Bram, go with your sister. Make sure she’s safe.”

As your son left the house, your eyes found Geralt.

“You’ve faced monsters as big as mountains and yet you’re afraid of a snake?” You moved to put away the items remaining in the basket.

“Y/N, you can’t honestly expect me to let her have one of those in the house, can you?” Geralt furrowed his brows at you.

“It’s a harmless garden snake, Geralt.”

“It could constrict around her.”

You said nothing, humming softly as you moved past your husband. His hand found your arm.

“Dove.” He murmured. “It’s a dangerous animal.”

“I like them.” You looked up at him, searching his golden eyes. “And I think it’s cute that you are fearful of them.”

“Y/N.”

“Fear is a good look in your eyes, dear husband.” You tried to walk away but Geralt slipped his arm around your waist, drawing your body to his. You giggled, allowing him to lean down and kiss your lips.

“I don’t understand why you like those things.”

“Well I do. And so does your daughter apparently.” You placed your hands on his biceps. “I think…. Geralt, I think you should let her keep it.”

“Dove-,”

“I had a snake when I was young, you know. They are very intelligent and fascinating creatures. And I think she is mature enough for one.”

Geralt turned his head to look at the door.

“Bram doesn’t like them. Snakes.”

“Then we get him a dog.” You grinned, slipping out of your husband’s arms.

“But we agreed on one pet.”

“Well we can’t get one a pet that the other won’t like.” You reasoned.

“You are nothing but trouble, dear wife.”

“Always have been.” You winked at him.

A grin tugged at the corner of his lips.

Taglist: @pressedinthepages (<<if you see this Erica, I’m pissed it won’t tag you I’ve always been able to tag you and I am going to write a fucking MLA format essay to tumblr for being a bitch) @mishafaye @whitewolfandthefox @wolfyland07 @belalugosisdead @persephonehemingway @keira-hulmaster @dinonuggs69 @greatestauthorofmygeneration @shadow-hunters-lover @dancingwith-thesunflowers @tedi-fach-las @thecomfortofoldstorries @natkowaa @disasteren @weathervanes-my-oneandlonely @onlyhenrys @wackylurker @criminaly-supernatural @magpie343 @permanently-exhausted-witcher @genderfluid-ho @the-space-between-heartbeats @havenoffandoms @carriebee1 @ger-bearofrivia @naominami @writingawaymylife @reaganjenelle @theawkwardpedestrian @scarlettwitcher @badassspaceprincess @just-a-sad-donut @summersong69 @an--actual--human--disaster @rubyqueen819 @omgkatinka @c-a-v-a-l-r-y @vonxcon @mazakeen @bravelittlesunflower @thereagles @awkward-turtles-world @menalliha @cotton_mo @maan24 @thefirelordm @monkeymo @krenee1drful @nympha-door-a @unadulteratedtreecrusade @Aquarius-pisces-rose @mentallyscreamingsincebirth @fl0ating @sometimesiwrite @you-fxcking-wish-bish @thanks-bruh-for-nothing @maan2442 @thegaydeath @creatingstuffinpeace @wellthisstinks @andyrazzledazzle @ameliasmistake @winterwolf @caraqas @bluscryn @y-napotat @henrycavillbesty @ta-ka-shi-ma @sulkyshengshou @spaced-out-state @thecollection @mayday1284 @babietrain @wandering-poetess @redneckstrash @crazybutconfidentaf @runawayolives @she-wolfoftheinquisition @onlygeraltofrivia @henrythickcavill @lharrietg @wellthisstinks @spaced-out-state @redneckstrash

If your name is in italics, it wouldn’t let me tag you :(

#dad!witchers #dad!geralt #dad!lambert #dad!eskel #witchers #the witcher #netflix #the wild hunt #kacey answers

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