#musing 2.0

[kerorowhump]

So ok I wanted to make a post talking about my thoughts on ep110 but I feel like they're gonna be scattered but bear with me

I think the most important thing I wanted to mention is that the way the starfruit is described feels symbolic of what Keroro actually wants deep down

essentially a hybrid of the best of both, coming together into a single unit. all keroro does want is for keron and earth to co-exist in harmony, but his flawed way of imagining that is explored a bit more in 110b.

Any sort of invasion, even a peaceful one, despite being the best possible scenario for him in the situation he's in, still implies changing things about earth in order to achieve it and... as he realized, he doesn't want that!

Having a nightmare about successfully invading... Even with the starfruit representing literally the best possible scenario. It highlights his impossible task, but it also served to make him reflect about the invasion and his feelings on it at all.

In fact this whole episode is huge in this regard because the whole reason he got sick in the first place was stress and failure to adapt (hey! remember those old posts I made about how he doesn't quite feel at home on either planet and even though he loves earth it feels unwelcoming too in many aspects...) and it's easy to see why, normally we can see his stress, but this season won't let us forget (thanks to that beautiful timer device). With this constant reminder of what he has to do, where usually he likes to not think about it at all.

Coming to terms with his feelings towards earth and his own role in regards to it when it comes to invading, realizing you don't want anything to change about it really, in the second half that is.

The entire first half he spends it severely downplaying his negative feelings, which is nothing new, he often does this.

Trudging through his daily tasks sluggishly, doesn't ask for help or complain at all, actually the opposite is true.

Losing strength and physically lighter, like someone who doesn't want to be a weight and can't stand up for what he believes in. Ready to give up.

The kind of lethargy one experiences when under extreme pressure (and already depressed if I'm allowed to add), which is why when he tastes the starfruit (which again, what it represents...) which is one new positive thing he hadn't experienced before (something to keep going for), he literally breaks down in tears. And then attaches way too much importance to it (in a dream yes, but that's still his subconscious so, if anything it counts more).

Normal phrase to say for someone whose feelings are totally stable and not at all experiencing an extreme low. Normal tantrum behavior showing perfectly fine emotional regulation, not dramatic at all.

So anyway in my opinion from what I've observed so far anime keroro really isn't one to explicate his real feelings/needs or even do much self reflection on them at all. Normally, these occur when he's under huge stress. On average he has tantrums or indulges in escapism.

When Aki asks him a simple question on it, he has to stop and think about it, despite literally almost dying from the severity of them. My alexithymia king.

And then and only then, when it feels like he'll actually be listened to (by the way, getting ignored seems to be a big trigger for him! just based on observing his reactions... when people don't pay attention to him or praise something else while he's there... and stuff like that), does he say it in a way that feels so understated.

But to me it's really huge, because I don't think he has ever admitted these two facts so naturally. Or at all?

And as I said the shot with the timer feels especially devious in this context, it's a reminder to us the viewer that anyway how Keroro feels about the invasion doesn't matter, because he really has no agency or choice about it at this point. It's also a visual reminder of the obvious other underlying reason for his stress, that he doesn't outright say, but is shown to us regardless.

I think maybe, in such a context, even praise for a job well done could start mattering less to him, because the outcome is what's unfavorable, the thing he dreads.

That might be why this did nothing for him. Throughout the day so many duties, things he has to do, but not many times that he's asked how he feels about it (which is why he often ends up snapping in extreme ways). Like "what's the point?" of even thinking about it, if the situation is set in stone no matter what?

And I know Aki said may disease and we settled on that, it's the closest thing for sure, it lends a description for the type of disappointment he feels about what he has to do. But I do feel like it's not about "may" for him, it's more long lasting, it's just reaching a boiling point now due to the set timer. And may disease (while not clinically recognized) is best described as a type of minor depression. Keroro doesn't really have responsibilities tied to japan school/work (even if it's representing it), so you also have to see the bigger picture of it here... of why it manifested... He himself says he carries stress and unease every day. So it's not limited to may, it's circumscribed to his situation.

So yeah that's it these were my thoughts on the ep

[kerorowhump]

I feel like this might be the first time he admits it so openly, and the shot on the ticking time bomb as he says it surely is a choice.

[kerorowhump]

ok, ive watched eps 104-106. and i have a lot to say about them, but i cant rn... i have this deep feeling that as far as themes go, they're all very much tied to this season's arc!!!! and i can prove it, but I'll have to make a singular post talking about it...

i also have to say that im REALLY enjoying s3 so far, and you can tell keroro is acting different, or rather more specifically, that his motivation has changed and become clearer... he's much more open about wanting to just be a part of pekopon, its culture, and really just wanting for his friends (platoon members) to find that joy too

he's never had this much direct pressure to invade, and yet now more than ever he's using this time to do anything but. to indulge in hobbies, to take in pekopon's beauty, to just have fun... and i think it's because he knows deep down that there is no chance they're gonna invade. that timer might as well be counting down the days to their departure from earth, because he knows invasion is not really an option. and so...

well, I'll have more to say once i take screenshots and whatnot, these are just my immediate thoughts on what i watched

this arc also makes the opening much more impactful 😭 it really does reflect how he feels.

[kerorowhump]

i like the clone option more than what the anime did purely because that would mean our original keroro is no more, he's set aside, the clone simply ISN'T him... and it also drives home how replaceable he is

but the anime version adds an element of horror to it that is the procedure being done directly to him, though technically it's done to him even in the manga...? like clone or not, his ass gets deaged and memorywiped. but i still like the clone thing better

[kerorowhump]

i just realized anime keroro loves to go isolate and sit by himself when he's seriously emotionally hurt

and of course running away from home counts

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i definitely have a post to make here about how the anime canon has become self sustaining, and thus all the small dialogues I was picking up actually reached their climax with the scene of fuyuki deciding to Trust keroro, instead of suspecting him like they had done previously in many eps (I don't have to post the screenshots again, I'm sure you've seen it all...)

and a lot of other stuff

anime keroro's character writing... I think about it

[kerorowhump]

You know, it would be awesome if this all eventually led in the end to Keroro actually turning into a bad guy. out of desperation and... some corruption from the keron star perhaps. and his general emotional instability. his whole emotional section could just... shut off. And he'd become a scary, ruthless enemy, hellbent on vengeance.

Vengeance against both Keron and Earth.

And surely nothing brings two populations together faster than a common enemy.

It would ultimately fulfill his wish to unite the two... at the cost of himself.

[kerorowhump]

i cant even find much from 2023 about me watching the kappa episode and just internalizing the "oh yeah keroro is probably much older than what his body is, don't know How yet" but. i mean. there were signs

[kerorowhump]

[kerorowhump]

So essentially the gun can either take or remove your determination to do the things you want to do or have to do. But if it's something you don't want to do, it doesn't force you to. And that's why he didn't gain any determination for the invasion, HOWEVER

He does want to bring peace, and to be a good leader (err, too far. too fussy, but again the gun doesn't Teach you how to do things correctly), and to finish his homework on time, and to give a good talk back to giroro ig lol, and that gun basically gave him the determination to do all of that.

I wonder why only Keroro exploded when his body rejected the effects of the gun... oh well

[kerorowhump]

so I started thinking about what you said, how keroro is the most attached to Keron out of the K66 platoon, and I think that just snapped something in my brain.

Before I found it interesting how a planet single-focused on military power- canonically known for altering their own biology and engineering bio-weapons and some of their soldiers- would still care to preserve family units and bonds, while pushing their population into training since childhood (increasing independence extremely early so too say), but that's it isn't it? it's that easy. They didn't want it to be that easy to just leave, they want the attachment.

Yesss you're so smart... it's really all part of the Keron propaganda... it's really the same as any toxic home environment too, like, it's not ALL bad... you know the cycle of abuse?

And when Keroro's on earth, sure he feels better, but it's still not a world that welcomes him.

Nothing is his size, nothing looks like him, he can't even go outside without a disguise, the policies are all wrong.

Recognizing yourself in your environment is the first reason for not wanting to leave it behind. I have absolutely no doubt that Keron gave Keroro too his fair share of military trauma or trauma in general (we've seen it!), but that element still persists. As I've talked about before here and here and a little bit here I guess, Keroro does love Earth too, but it feels like he doesn't belong.

The world is really scary and unwelcoming. The dark, dogs, everything feels like a battlefield, but... that's the Keron trauma, isn't it. It makes you scared of everything else. It makes you return to what feels safe, to what you know, to Keron.

Ntm Keron paints Earth as a fearsome but fascinating place that would bring you great honor and fame if you were the one to finally conquer it.

And Keroro is the most vulnerable to this, probably due to his circumstances...

[kerorowhump]

wow ed12 really just says the quiet part outloud

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Wait wait wait I think I understand everything now. The Keron Star is advertised as the hyped up ultimate prestige and people listening to you but what theyre actually screening for is who to scapegoat the unadvertised illegal powers onto. So the eternal question of “why only ever Keroro of all people, why are they letting him get away with all this, are they stupid” naturally falls off. We dont care if hes being a good conquerer like a normal captain, we care to see what happens when he gets volatile

!!!! Very good reasoning, but that begs the question of why they made a different Keron Star without the illegal powers then. Their ultimate goal is still to carry out the invasion, not just observe how the relationship between the Star and the host shakes out.

Absolutely the real fucked up nature of the Star is kept hidden (even from the holder? Maybe! maybe not!), and they absolutely screened to see like... who was most compatible with what's inside the Star.

Perhaps they're also looking to awaken something?

I do think they're letting Keroro get away with it because he's literally their only option and only way of access to these old powers. Like an experiment that keeps repeating until they can recreate exactly what they want.

("Type K-66 N.315")

If a certain load implies he becomes more volatile, then them erasing it (periodically?) implies they're hoping for a somewhat stabler different outcome.

Keron is also a declining planet under some aspects so this might be their last ditch efforts to conquer earth and they may not have many other options.

I wonder why Keroro was deemed the most compatible. I don't think they just threw the star onto the first clueless soldier who wanted it. Like yes he's also their scapegoat ur so right but I also think something about his body/mind/endurance potential/determination probably played a part... personally... what do you think?

[kerorowhump]

i have this headcanon that sure as it may be that Kururu has been studying the Keron Star, he's been focusing on the technological side of it, reading its data, observing and whatnot, but he's been missing an important part of it which he tends to not be great at in general, the human/emotional side of it. so while whatever is inside the Star presents as data when read by a computer, (aka kururu is aware of SOME things), it's actually more alive than that (that I assume he knows less about or hasn't even factored in)

[kerorowhump]

"my vessel"... so then, Keroro too...

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when i kept talking about how weird it was that keroro was both so caring and so ruthless in a volatile way... almost as if there was two of him... and what if that's literally the case... the angst potential for the concept alone is staggering. even if not real, it's gonna become a major brainworm for me.