#my assbox

[sapapp]

hey king what’s your favorite animal and also your favorite fruit

duck❤️ or reindeer❤️ fruit i think my husbands.

[deadpanwalking]

you may have addressed this in the past, but i am pretty sure i'm too dumb to read james joyce. how do you improve your reading comprehension? i'd like to move beyond the nyt bestseller list, but going from stephen king to faulkner seems like a steep jump.

Nobody is too dumb to read a book, but plenty of people have been conditioned into perpetual incuriosity.  The only way to improve reading comprehension is by reading outside of your comfort zone, which necessarily means letting go of the notion that the relationship between an artist and their audience is adversarial, and that a challenging work of art is booby-trapped with mean tricks designed to make you feel bad.

What do you do when you run into a word or concept that you don't immediately understand in the wild? You don't (I fervently hope) drop what you're reading like a hot potato—you keep reading to see if there’s clarification, and if there's none, you find a reliable source that gives you the definition, context, and examples, then circle back. What do you do when you're watching a movie you haven't seen before and the camera lingers on a random detail, or a character makes an inexplicable choice? Unless you are my dad, you give the story a chance to play out before asking what the deuce is going on. 

Faulkner and Joyce aren't cyphers, which is why their short fiction is a standard in the public high school English curriculum, and As I Lay Dying and A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man are frequently assigned to juniors and seniors in AP classes—but even their denser writing is more accessible now than it's ever been. Over the past century, so many people have loved them enough to devote their lives to studying their work—and they’ve passed the savings down to you. They’ve written annotations that explain literary, historical, and biographical context and that's aligned with the pagination of the books, they’ve integrated hyperlinks into the hypertext.

There's exactly one (1) acceptable excuse not to read Faulkner or Joyce: not wanting to read Faulkner or Joyce.  You don't even need to give them a chance—millions of people (among them, many prolific and intelligent readers) have and will continue to live rich, meaningful lives after deciding that a particular book or author is simply not a priority, even if the author is famous and the book highly recommended by several friends who wear glasses.

If you can parse this passage from Pet Sematary, you can parse just about anything Joyce throws at you:

[terresdebrume]

For the WIP ask game: Aziraphale kidnaps Jesus?? 👀👀

In reference to this wip askbox game :D

So this is one of the projects that make me wish I had the stamina for long term projects tbh! I actually have an outline for it, I just haven't gotten far with the actual writing x)

The idea is that Aziraphale gets to heaven ahead of the second coming expecting to find 33yo!Jesus getting ready to judge humanity* and instead finds an infant who is scheduled to grow up in a spare room where heaven won't have to worry about outside influences detracting him from his Purpose

Aziraphale, who knows enough about humans to realize this is essentially a protracted form of torture, thinks "what would Crowley do?" and, tossing aside his original plans of infiltrating Heaven and either cleaning house or sabotaging them from the inside (depending on what he found), immediately pivots to getting trusted alone with Jesus just long enough to stuff him in a bag and go into hiding with him on Earth, where he basically becomes if a scaled down Adrian Monk had a baby

The story would actually follow Crowley as he runs into an Aziraphale who's been living as the neighborhood's very own single father for four to five years, transforming our heroes into the protagonists of a romantic kid!fic with some action at the end...

But the issue is, again, I don't have the stamina for a long time project;_;

I can do long fic, but my longest completed one is like. 98k and four chapters, and was written in a few feverish months followed by one of my longest writing breaks ever (which at least sparked my interest for making fic covers but still)

[notashrew]

Also to answer your pride zer0 question. They are canonically nonbinary. Burch wanted them to use they/them pronouns in tftbl but fumbled it so canon uses he/him unfortunately. But yea

I now went ahead and back to reading the old mentions and articles about this topic because I DO remember hearing about the they/them discussion and to change Zer0's pronouns but then they didn't. It's a shame they didn't do it because at the time it would've added more diversity (which a lot of gamers would've hated so bad seeing how they were with Fl4k). But at least they did state Zer0 is very ambiguous and who the hell knows what he is and to be honest I think it fits his mysterious character. All you know about him for sure is his Vault Hunter name and that he loves killing for money.

Besides, it makes more sense him as non-human/ambiguously-are-they-actually-human-or-not person to not connect with human gender binary if he isn't even one. I just adore non-human characters that are best classified as nonbin because their sense of gender is too different from human.

BUT THAT BEING SAID, Nonbinary Zer0 who uses he/him pronouns 💪

[nixotinix]

continue writing your fic

no screw you (/j)

[kinghaargrove]

*steals his cigarette right out from his mouth and then acts like she didn't* - carol

❝ ━ For all your bitching about how gross I am, you sure are quick to put your mouth where mine has been. I should warn you, I've been told I have rabies. ❞

[inkydinks]

16, 19, and 42! For the ask game :3

16) Something I like about my personality:

my enthusiasm(!!!!!!) I love that I'm zesty and excitable and openly expressive, and I put that energy into the things and people I love.

19) my favorite book:

I actually don't have one rn, but my favorite one for a while was "The Knife Of Never Letting Go" 🗡🚫🙌🙌🙌

42) Favorite Halloween costume:

- a DEAD TIE between when I was Wirt from OTGW and when I was Wahluigi ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[tqxicfqcility]

ew

sorry i picked my nose and flicked it at the wall two months ago i won't do it again...💔

[combustiblegarbage]

re: anon who left that ask in my assbox, 2 things

ships with a Triggering Characteristics (elr*cest and r*yed) are not welcome on my blog, are generally upsetting and i don't fuck with that

the Reason Why there's more of that in 03 fans is because of age; in the early/mid 2000s these were mainstream fandom ships. by 2010 this was waning

i tend to be live and let live with a lot of things as long as i don't have to see them and people can do their own shit privately and not throw a hissy fit when other people don't want to be involved/block them immediately but yeah for clarity. those type of ships not welcome on this blog or in the server

[thefatedfinwe]

Righto so.... for new followers, I have been pretty sick so my brain is dumb, feel free to send me anything you want to. I might be slow but will do my best to reply unless tumblr eats them. All my muses are super approachable except Melkor, but well... he’s Melkor. If you have any questions go ahead and ask, it does make my day to see the little number over my assbox.

[sapapp]

u shld crush Olive up. turn her into Olive oil

WHAT. my kid?????

[deadpanwalking]

What do you mean by Nabokov’s handwriting having a Russian accent? Is he writing in a style of handwriting that was unique to Russia at the time?

Nabokov used an informal style of Russian cursive to write in English. Here is a picture of entries in his travel journal, where he wrote in both languages—you can see the characteristics that carry over from Cyrillic to Latin.

[gender-mailman]

[ STOP LYING YOU SAID A LOT 'Dylan 1 miss my boyfriend' IN MY ASSBOX!!/silly ]

>:00 SHOW ME PROOF AND I WILL SHUT

[terresdebrume]

Hi there! I know that this isn’t the best time to ask this but I am reaching out to you with a heavy heart and a plea for assistance for my cat Canto who is FIV positive, he is in dire need of dental care. Please see my pinned post on this blog and if its okay, please do share it or boost it as it would really mean the world to me. Please do send me a message to reply or answer the ask privately as I just want to avoid other people to think im a spambot or what, praying you’d consider. Please stay safe! 🥺🙏

I mean I don't think you're a spam it but it IS the second time you sent this exact message to me (the first instance vanished from my inbox before I could check things out properly) and also no post on your blog is older than yesterday so.

I'm gonna go with no.

[notashrew]

Im done with the secret satan thing but Im really curious on how Herbert is still alive, I know the answer is probably obvious due to his name but I still wanna know 👀

👉👈 Y-y-you want to hear about me blorbos?

First of all, I'm really excited to hear you've finished my secret satan already and I'm excited to see it! I have to wait for the entire month though but I'll be hyped up!

Second, yes Herbert's, TF2 fan character, first name is a direct reference to horror character Herbert West from Re-Animator, both a book and movie. His last name [redacted] is also a reference to other horror character of same category of mad doctors, from [redacted].

I'll put all of the answer under the read more, including drawing of him for those who don't know who I'm talking about! Decapitated doodle ahead, peeps.

So the deal with Herbert is, he's headless. Anatomically all correct, decapitated. Flesh and all. Got even some of spine sticking out. I have some details and thoughts how his entire *gestures vaguely* thing works, but nothing too sensible and not everything has been figured out. Most of the time I just say "it just works".

TLDR it's a respawn glitch.

He has surgically intentionally removed his own head on purpose as a choice. He discovered this possibility by being exposed to "a respawn glitch" (I have to allow respawn existing in my aus because I have the worst-at-their-job mercenaries as my fcs) when he was still relatively new Medic hired by BLU. An enemy Demoman decapitated him with his eyelander, but through some bizard glitch in the system, while his head could be considered as "dead", his body still behaved like it was living and consious. He had lost his main senses, though, but could still walk and attempt to figure out blindly what was going on and was somewhat aware of his state. Demoman finished him soon after and he returned to his normal head-included self.

Fascinated by this - and having already immense fear of being perceived by other people and other issues - he did some experimenting with himself and trying to recreate that glitch under controlled circumstances. Eventually, he managed to control it, live and function without his head physically attached to his body and nervous system. He can somewhat sense normally (although limited field of vision), communicate verbally and otherwise control his body after some rehabilitation. His nerves are kinda sorta still connected to his brain, just not physically but through [insert some scifi-respawn-technology bullshit here]. His "head" and brain is still inside the respawn system, a copy of sorts, that his body is attached and connected to.

There's a little chip in his spine right at the end of the neck that holds this connection through respawn. I did some anatomical messing up here shhhh There's also a tiny bit of his nuclear extension left in..... SOMEWHERE that keeps his organs still running even without the main brain. As long as he keeps injecting some of the medigun healy juice into him and maintains the basic care on the exposed neck area, and all the modifications stay intact, he's immune to all complications like infections or such.

Somewhere in the timeline, he also managed to get rid of his head and destroy it completely while this glitch and maintaining still holds up.

Science bullshit, basically!

[wishing-stones]

Taking a very brief pause from the assbox because I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO POST THIS WEEK MY B