#my coping mechanism has been to just buy clothes that do fit rather than pressuring myself to fit into what no longer fits
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Oh fucking no
#tw body image#tw body weight#tw body dysmorphia#okay so#I just threw on my favorite pair of shorts from last summer that fit me pretty lovely#and they are now TIGHT#they are supposed to be loose comfy linen shorts and they fit like bike shorts#so I’m going to do everything in my mental toolkit to not let this send me into a massive fucking ed spiral#but does anybody else’s body weight fluctuate this dramatically every single fucking year#my coping mechanism has been to just buy clothes that do fit rather than pressuring myself to fit into what no longer fits#but that’s fucking expensive and wasteful and I really don’t enjoy buying a new wardrobe every season#because I can’t just maintain one weight#I’m either dropping it unhealthily and not eating or I’m binging and ballooning#but 95% of the time it’s all triggered by my work schedule#and the fact that I can’t always have a meal or a snack when I feel hunger#I can’t get into a meal schedule which is what I need#I either have to eat when I’m not hungry because I know I won’t have a chance to later#or I’m not eating all day and then binge when I get home because I’ve been so fucking hungry#and I’m fucking hoping that once I get this group trained and into our regular rotation I’ll be able to have more of a routine#but I’m also getting a promotion because one of my bosses is quitting#so im going to have a completely new routine#and we’re just getting to our busiest season#and im already feeling so out of control#I love that putting on shorts to leave the house leads to this#I have to host a dance concert in a month and a half and I know the dress I wore last year will not fit#so im faced again with: buy something new that does fit or try to lose the weight#I don’t like either of those options. I just want my body to stay the same and keep wearing things.#it fucking sucks.
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