#my feelings may change i'm only halfway through my rewatch and it could change after the tomb but still

[sunfoxfic]

about my recent post over the Sentimonster Adrien Agreste theory and how different people with the same trauma may have opposing representation needs: that was a conclusion I reached a long time ago, and something I think I may take for granted. Because -- well, okay.

I have half siblings. Two older half sisters. I've known them all my life, they've always been there. My parents are divorced, and I half a step mother.

I can count on one hand the number of stories in the world that have resonated with my family dynamic.

And it was while I watched The Dragon Prince that I realized how much I loved seeing Ezran and Callum's relationship not only being explored, but being plot relevant. They're half brothers! Harrow and Callum have a complicated relationship, but one of love nonetheless! They like each other and spend time together!

The fact that Callum and Ez are half siblings isn't lost to the characters. They discuss it, and it matters in their relationship, even if it's subtle at times. And it's not lost to the plot, either. The story is fundamentally a fantasy political drama, and so seeing Callum called "step prince" by Soren, and generally just seeing him struggle under his role in the castle because he's a prince but not in the way Ez is, he's a step prince, Harrow is his step father, Ezran thinks Callum should call Harrow dad but that's not really right, Harrow doesn't know how much distance he needs to give to be respectful to Callum's birth father, etc. etc. etc. It made it real, and realistic.

It excited me. That's the only story I know of that explores half sibling dynamics in full the way other fantasy political dramas explore other family dynamics. I can name other siblings in political dramas who have conflict because of their place in the royal family, and I can name other siblings who have wholesome but still complex relationships.

That was the first time I ever saw that in half siblings.

It felt really good to know that this part of me, this part of my family, that has caused drama and trauma, it can be plot relevant. It is a hard weight to bear at times, and the show knows that, but as much as it can be difficult, it's also fun to have half siblings. And wholesome. And oftentimes it's just unbearably normal.

I know that having half siblings isn't the same as being abused by a parent. I get that. But when I first watched The Dragon Prince, I rewatched it six times in a row because I loved it so much. There was a thrill in knowing not only that I could be the hero, but that I could be the hero because I have half siblings. Because I have suffered through feeling inadequate and weird for my sisters, because I was forced to deconstruct the way society conditioned me to hate my family, because I have gone through the trauma that I went through.

I can count on one hand the number of stories I know that resonate with my family dynamic. I'm sure more exist out there, but that's beside the point. The point is, I watched The Dragon Prince six times after I first saw it, and I cried when I watched the music video to My Play by AJR. The point is that some people want to see themselves as heroes because they've gone through hardship, not in spite of that hardship. And some people want escape from that hardship, and that's okay, but.

I'm writing a fic right now about Alya. I've completely changed her family to halfway resemble mine. And I really, really hope someone reads this fic someday and feels a little bit better about their divorced parents, or their half siblings, or their stepparent, or whoever. I hope they feel the way I did when I watched The Dragon Prince. I hope they know that their family isn't a footnote in their biography, that it can be plot relevant, and that doesn't make it any better or worse, but for me, it very much made it real.

I hope people feel better thinking about Sentimonster Adrien Agreste.

I hope someone feels better reading this.