#my heart..

[mondstalgia]

Yeah so I am in tears. This so perfectly sums this whole series up. Like it all isn't as black and white as people want it to be. Life is grey and blurry and messy. While I 100% am with Doctor Kan others may not be and that's understandable, Tew feels the same way. And that's okay.

[hunterxhunteraesthetic]

[kurishiri]

14 . . . “ burned by a plead and an impulse ”

— 🌹 elbert’s main route chapter 14 premium story.

— this translation may not be 100% accurate or may contain creative liberties. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost or claim these as your own!

— cw: invasion of personal space.

There was no presence of people in the bed of flowers, where a gentle breeze blew.

Kate: Mmm! That hits the spot...!

Elbert: ...Mn.

Rays of sunlight filtered through the gaps between tree leaves, and I set a basket down nearby. We then sat down next to it as well.

Kate: I like this kind of weather the most. What about you, Lord Elbert?

Elbert: I also like clear days, as they make me feel calm. But... that’s not to say I dislike the rain.

I was searching for something — anything — that Lord Elbert liked or enjoyed. Something, that could make him happy.

That was my secret goal.

While lining the bread and scones I had brought with me on the blanket, I rambled on.

Kate: Then, do you prefer jam on your scone?

Elbert: Yes... Now that I think about it, I do spread jam on more than clotted cream.

E: I seem to have never taken well to milk in the first place...

Kate: So, you like bitter things, but not milk? ...You have a kind of more mature taste.

Elbert: ...And you?

Kate: I... like both sweet things and bitter things... and as for scones, I can go either way with jam or cream.

Elbert: ...Hehe.

Kate: What is it...?

Elbert: I was just thinking... how your glutinous side of you is cute...

Kate: ...!

Elbert: You have cream on your face still. ...Near your mouth.

His fingers brushed over my lips, and with my face feeling warm, I turned away.

Kate: ...Thank you...

(So, he doesn’t like milk, and he likes bitter things.)

(And while he himself doesn’t have much appetite... he doesn’t seem to dislike watching me eat.)

Until we finished our scones, we held a casual conversation without falling silent once — and, Lord Elbert told me many things about himself.

Like how horse riding was considered a trend among nobles, though he had little interest in partaking in betting on the winners...

...but rather, he was fond of taking long rides himself.

With every little bit I found out about Lord Elbert, my heart felt like it was going to spring out of my chest, out of my control.

Kate: ...Being able to hear what you like makes me really happy, Lord Elbert.

(The reason I wanted to know was because I wanted to save him,)

(but instead, I end up feeling so happy that I end up a little bit at a loss.)

I murmured while drinking an after-meal tea, when suddenly Lord Elbert turned to face me.

Elbert: ...Do you, feel like giving me your heart now?

Kate: Eh!?

I thought I was going to drop the teacup in my hand then and there when I heard his words, and I quickly put it down on the saucer.

Kate: N-no... not, yet.

Elbert: Is that so... that’s too bad.

Kate: W-waah, look at this flower! It’s really, really cute!

I purposely changed the subject, avoiding his gaze which seemed to pierce through me.

(...I need to get a hold of myself...)

(If, I end up telling him that my heart’s stolen so soon...)

(He would take me away... then and there.)

(And, I might end up like another one of those decorations in his room.)

Elbert: ...You’re right, it is a very cute flower.

I wasn’t sure whether my attempt at diverting his attention was truly successful or not, but regardless Lord Elbert directed his gaze to the small flower blooming nearby.

Elbert: At one point, I did like making flower crowns... that was when I was young, though.

Kate: ...Crowns...?

It seemed as though he was remembering something, and I couldn’t help but feel drawn to his profile.

Elbert: I often gave them as presents... because, when I did, everyone seemed so happy... and they would smile at me.

With fingers that resembled works of art, he gently picked some flowers and started to make a flower crown with deft movements.

Kate: Wow... you’re really good at this.

Elbert: ...Here you go.

Lord Elbert placed the finished flower crown atop my head.

Kate: Thank you...

Elbert: ...

He smiled so happily, my chest squeezed my heart tightly — painfully.

(So, he liked to make flower crowns... so that others could smile...)

I gently touched the flower crown on my head.

I felt that the Lord Elbert right now who continued to collect beautiful things,

and the young Lord Elbert who made flower crowns, were of the same essence.

(He had always... wanted to make the people beside him smile.)

(Perhaps, that was... all he wanted.)

And that was as endearing as it was painful. These feelings surged from within me, overwhelming me together.

——Because, it was specifically that innocent kindness of his that made him suffer so.

Kate: ...This is a special skill that suits you, Lord Elbert. I think it’s wonderful.

I wasn’t sure I could hide my pain completely, so I looked down as I murmured.

Elbert: ...Kate.

At that moment, a sincere voice called my name.

Kate: Yes?

(...!)

When I lifted my head, I was immediately met with eyes that looked like jewels before me.

At some point, his long, golden eyelashes and skin that looked like pottery had drawn near, closing the space between us.

(Ah, our lips—)

—are going to touch, was what I thought,

and, I immediately pushed back against Lord Elbert’s chest.

Kate: Lord Elbert, what are you...

Elbert: I, want to kiss you.

Kate: ...?

We were so close that our breaths might touch, and his voice lowered as he whispered.

When he did, my head ran so wild, it was a wonder how we were able to converse with each other just before.

Kate: Why...

Elbert: Because, you won’t kiss me.

Kate: That’s... that’s because I...

Elbert: I want to... touch you more.

E: And, I want to know more of you. Your voice, your breath, your warmth... everything.

Kate: N-no, you can’t.

Elbert: ...Really?

Kate: ...!

When he looked at me with those searching eyes, my words caught in my throat.

(Because...)

(You want to kiss me because... you want to ‘have’ me, isn’t that right...?)

Elbert: The more I look at you, the more it hurts... and I can’t bear it...

E: It’s almost like... there’s poison... running through my body.

E: If only you could become mine——this pain would surely disappear.

(Please, don’t look at me with those earnest eyes...)

——Or my heart will waver.

No matter how much I wanted to convince myself otherwise, I couldn’t think of this plead as a tactic he was using to have me.

Lord Elbert wasn’t very talkative, nor was he very expressive. But, even so, he didn’t utter any lie.

That’s why, I couldn’t help but hope.

Hope that, maybe, Lord Elbert wanted to touch me simply because he liked me.

(If... If I tell Lord Elbert that I like him,)

(Maybe, just maybe, Lord Elbert could forgive himself, and wish for happiness with me.)

I could break the curse that was hurting him with something like a ‘true love.’

And, maybe — just maybe — I could save him from the sin he had burdened himself with, and from his atonement.

I... ended up wishing for that kind of fairy tale.

(If I could become)

(the key to save Lord Elbert—)

Elbert: ...Could you move your palm away?

Kate: ...

Elbert: Kate.

His voice seemed to mix with a long sigh, and his shoulders were trembling.

Kate: ...Please... don’t whisper so close to my ear like that...

Elbert: Why? ...Because you won’t be able to push me away with your hand?

Kate: It’s because... I don’t think I’ll be able to stay calm...

Elbert: Does that mean your heart has been stolen?

E: If that’s the case, then there’s no reason for me to stop.

Kate: ...!

My heart was beating so loud, I thought it was going to burst.

It was as though it was shouting at me to give into this impulse.

Elbert: Kate...

Kate: Ah...

Lord Elbert’s arms wrapped around my back, embracing me gently.

With my hands still against his chest, I could tell that Lord Elbert’s heartbeat had quickened too.

(How easy it was for him to embrace me...)

It was as though my acts of resistance were negligible.

Lord Elbert had me surrounded right away, just like that.

He could, easily kiss me by force.

(But even so, he’s waiting for my answer...)

(...Is that because, if he does something reckless, he wouldn’t be able to steal my heart...?)

(Or, is there something more, and he——)

A fleeting hope bloomed in my chest, so faint I could cut through it.

Elbert: ...Kate.

Kate: ...ah...

I could feel his lips on my earlobe, the sensation light.

The feeling was so light that I didn’t know if it was just that his lips happened to touch my earlobe,

but nonetheless it made my body go sweetly numb, making me feel out of this world.

Kate: ...Lord Elbert.

Elbert: You’re not going to push me away...?

Kate: ...!

(That—)

(That’s because, I am in love with you... hopelessly so.)

(In truth, I do want to be touched by you.)

(I want to tell you that I like you, and I want to kiss you too.)

(But, if I do that...)

(...will it be really enough so that he can forgive himself?)

Lord Elbert will probably have me, my heart completely stolen, then.

As another object of atonement.

(Just how much would the act of hurting someone who likes him in order to ‘have’ them—)

(—hurt Lord Elbert, deeply so?)

Kate: ...We...can’t.

Letting out a hot breath, I desperately clung to reason,

and strongly pushed his chest away.

Kate: Please, don’t kiss me...

Elbert: ......

It was a choice that would neither save him nor hurt him.

I had no idea that saying something against my heart could be so painful.

Elbert: ......Alright.

Lord Elbert quietly murmured, letting me go.

(...I...I really...)

(I really... don’t want you to let me go.)

A complex mix of frustration that made me want to chase after him and relief filled my chest.

Just then—

Kate: ...!

Lord Elbert’s head dropped on my shoulders with a small thump.

Elbert: ...Is this at least, alright with you?

Golden locks tickled the crook of my neck.

I couldn’t see his expression, but I could hear a little bit of sadness, along with relief, in his voice.

Kate: ......Yes.

Elbert: Thank you...

Like a child who got his wish granted, his forehead rested on my shoulder.

(...I, want to hug him...)

He was so endearing, and yet, I had to keep it a secret — and it hurt my heart.

We stayed that way until evening came.

It seemed that even the most trivial thing could shatter this quiet tranquility, inside which I wavered.

—— Time skip ——

That night, after dinner, we were called in by Victor and William.

William: We would like to discuss with you two about the auction hosted by the Bernard Company that Elbert was invited to.

W: It would appear that there is a high chance that the top of the Company will make an appearance there.

W: If you manage to win the bid for the special showcase, we might have the chance to make contact with him.

(The special showcase... he must mean the blue diamond.)

William: Once that happens, it would be ideal to take care of Bernard away from the public eye.

W: In the event you’re unable to do so, then if you can come up with a pretext to meet with him again, that will also suffice.

Elbert: ...Alright... understood.

William: Then, I leave the rest to you. Ahh, before I forget.

W: On the surface they are masquerading as a salon party, so allegedly you will need a partner to accompany you...

W: Have you decided on someone, Elbert?

Without a moment’s hesitation, Lord Elbert’s gaze turned toward me.

Elbert: Kate... I want you to come with.

​​Somehow, I managed to reel my mind back to myself, and suppressing the pounding of my heart, I nodded.

Kate: ...Alright, I look forward to working with you.

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🏷️: @magicalkoo (leave a comment, send an ask, or dm me saying you want to be added to the tag list if you want to be tagged!)

[bakugous-broken-toothbrush]

been reading more fics focused on the LoV recently and goshhh i could just eat this up

[incohorace]

my cat is sitting on my lap and i can feel her slowly keeling over as she falls asleep............

[soulflatter]

We also need to update and re-add Miss Sedna's profile...and delete the code for Sophia's...

[ephiesoul]

Hello dear Ephie 

I have enjoyed your chibis so much and they cheered me up a lot. Sadly I had a tough year, so I haven't been that active here or seen some of your amazing chibis. I'll be going through your blog and might heart-spam you.

If I remember correctly, you did birthday requests, right? If so, I missed sending you my request, so I hope you would like to do it anyway, despite my birthday being on November 22nd. I was sick the entire week (yes on my birthday too) and just been stressed out this entire month.

Anyway, if you accept my request, I would like Perona from One Piece (after timeskip). You have the creative freedom to draw her do whatever. She's one of my favorite female characters from the manga and I want to give her some more love.

I wish you a wonderful day and stay hydrate.

Hugs and smiles from Didi

Okay.. this level of kindness was uncalled for! 🩷 you’re so kind! Thank you! And yes! I do take birthday requests (when I remember and have time)

You’re really nice so I’m happy to do a Perona birthday Chibi for you 🩷 (and just for fun I did a pre and post time skip version) Happy Late Birthday! 🎁

🩷 And here’s some bonus ones for your kindness:

I’m sorry to hear you had a tough year 🩷 Best wishes to you though! And I hope the year ends on a good note for you and 2024 is a wonderful & happy year! Best of luck!! 🍾💕

Happy holidays, happy new year and have a lovely day! 🩷

[edhardyshawty]

WHAT THE FUCK…. WHAT THE FUCK U GUYS… WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKK

[an-na-ko]

Lyra, my beloved cat of 13 years, passed away this year on Father's Day. She's been by my side through very difficult times and was my little rock of steady and unrelenting love. I struggled a lot drawing this, and struggled a lot posting it, but I know I would've wanted to read a comic like this that validated my grief for her when I lost her.

Wherever you are, Lyra my little summer star, I love you always! Thank you for being the best thing in my life.

[macbethz]

Well I like it but it’s not very well written. Also it’s a visual mess. The plot doesnt make any sense and the creators suck and its politics oscillate from mildly problematic to frankly baffling. I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. However. the character

[kuntniss]

actually that no punctuation plot hole ooc wattpad fanfic written by that 12 year old will ALWAYS be better than character ai. and i love that 12 year old btw

[tethered-heartstrings]

love when a mother asks if they have ever done anything to hurt you. ma'am, you will literally never be ready to have this conversation

[0n10neater]

Little miss carsickness vs. girl who learned to drive in the mountains

[arinrowan]

So I hate facetime but have two small nephews who live very far away and wanted them to know who I was. So when second nephew was born, I started sending first nephew (4 years old) a postcard every week.

The content wasn't anything special. I made cookies, I saw this flower, my cats did this. He likes trucks and machinery so I scoured redbubble for anything related to machinery and got a giant batch of machine postcards. Whenever I traveled, I'd hunt down a postcard for him.

My second nephew turned four this year, and I started sending him postcards as well. Both of them like Pokemon now, so mostly it's been double Pokemon postcards every week. I don't hear much from them, or my sister, so I just generally hope they're enjoyed and try to remember to mail them before Sunday.

However. This week my mom informed me second nephew likes the postcards SO MUCH he brings them into daycare to show around. And when I shared that with my sister, she told me not only does he bring them into daycare, he sleeps with them at naptime.

The only higher honor would be for her to tell me he's eating them.

[milfsisyphus]

your job is not more important than media from 2005. never forget this.