#my housemate took a bunch trying to get shots of me turning a page and when we scrolled through them fast it looked really cool

[marzipanandminutiae]

“And I...shall think and write for you, as I used to do.”

[codename-bewareofthefangirl]

I fell in love with the HP AU and can't get enough of it! I never realized I NEEDED The Ticking Bomb Team in my life until you showed me! Haha! Can I request a scenario for this dorky team basically just being dorks during practice? Please base them off your HCS about them (Mayu being angry at everyone, Haizaki VS Kise-Takao duo, Ima being exasperated, Akashi being scary, Mura missing (in the kitchen lol). Side note: 30 asks! I hope we're not inconveniencing you. Thanks for putting up with us!

Hi dear! Sorryif it took me a while, I was so happy you asked me this! I love writing forthis Au and I continuously end up with more hcs 😂 This was really funny to write, I hope it displays well how chaotic anddangerous this team can be. Yes, it always ends up in a bloody mess.

Have a goodday!

Ps. this isbased on my headcanons about KnB x HP that you can find under #kuroko no basket x harry potter or #knbxhp hcs

 The TickingBomb Team

 “Okay guys, I’ve booked the pitch for this after-“

“Shouldn’t we wait for Murasakibara?” Himuro politelyinterrupted Imayoshi. The Captain sighed and looked them, feeling inside thatit was going to be another hellish afternoon.

He had called his first string to practicea bit before the match of Sunday, against Hufflepuff, and now they were standingin the pitch, wearing the green and silver uniforms of their House. Well, hewould have liked to train with the entire the team, but the others couldn’t surviveplaying with them for long periods and begged to be spared, so he had to giveup. Kise and Takao were chatting and joking with each other, without payingattention to him, Haizaki was swinging his own bat, Mayuzumi was seatedon the ground with a book open on his laps, uninterested in everything else, andHimuro was the only good junior faking, at least, to care.

“I’ve already sent Akashi to search for him,” Hereplied fixing his glasses, thinking about the missing beater and his preciousSeeker. The only one who could keep a tight rein on the others, despite being a junior like them.

“I bet he’s in the Kitchen,” Kise chuckled, joiningthe conversation.

“He has a fanclub between the elves,” Takao addedamused, leaning against Kise’ shoulder. “Big as much as our Himuro’s one. Howmany girls confessed to you today?” he joked with a wink.

Himuro hid a smirk and rolled his eyes.

“You two shouldn’t speak,” he reminded shaking hishead.

“Thanks. I know I’m popular.” Kise agreed proudly,combing back his shining blonde hair in his favorite sexy move. Takao burstinto laughter.

“So modest! Man, do it again!” Begged with tears atthe corner of his eyes. “I would like to take notes, Mr. I-Am-Still-Single-Because-I-Have-An-Unrequited-Crush.”

Kise pouted and jostled him jokingly.

“I don’t know what you are talking about! You’re justenvious, Takao,” Replied sticking his tongue out and crossing his arms.

“Who could ever be jealous of you, Barbie Loser?” Haizaki venomouslyasked, reaching them and looking down on the blonde. Kise narrowed his eyes andTakao straightened a bit.

“Look who’s decided to bless us with his presence,”Takao greeted annoyed, tilting his head to the side.

“There was something strange…” Kise hummed nodding,“No animal sounds disturbed our conversation.”

Haizaki’ smirk widened like a shark’s and he clenchedhis fist around the bat.

“Don’t worry, soon the air is gonna be filled with thesounds of your jaw breaking,” he threatened licking his lips.

Takao scoffed and elbowed playfully his friend.

“Heard that? I believe it was a threat.”

“I would be worried if he was capable to aim,” Kiseshot unfazed and Haizaki growled.

“Please guys. Not again,” Himuro begged tiredly,covering his eyes with the hands.

Mayuzumi raised his head to give them a quick,disgusted glance.

“Idiots,” He softly murmured, before resuming ignoringthem. His novel was far more interesting.

“Okay, okay. Since you all have energy to spare, rideyour brooms and start warming up,” Imayoshi interrupted them in his captaintone, to avoid another fight. “Kise, Himuro and Takao let’s start with simple passeswith the Quaffle. Steadily heighten the rapidity and precision of your shots.Haizaki, free one Bludger and defend them.”

Imayoshi regretted his words in the exact moment hemet the beater’s eyes.

“Haizaki don’t-” begged exasperated but the boy has alreadygrabbed his broom and bolted up.

The captain sighed covering his eyes, while hiscatchers took off too.

“Mayuzumi could you please-” he searched for help inhis roommate and classmate, but he raised a hand to interrupt him.

“Let me finish the page,” he blocked him coldly,without averting his gaze from the inked words.

“Why?” Imayoushi asked to himself, worriedly lookingup. If they weren’t good players, he would have already cursed them but…duringmatches, their thirst for victory transformed them in a professional and slyteam. Yet, when practicing, they were just a bunch of kids joking and continuouslyannoying each other.

“HAIZAKI YOU BASTARD!” Kise’s resented voice echoed inthe air, followed by Haizaki’s laughter.

The first one had miraculously avoided a Bludgercoming for his head, gently sent by his own Beater. The second was laughing athis face and searching for the flying ball, ready to try another shot.

Unfortunately, he hadn’t tracked the movements of Kise’spartner in crime.

He was still barking amused when the Quaffle hit hishead with a loud smack, nearly knocking him off from the broom.

Haizaki cursed, yelling in pain, and steadied himselfwith difficulty. His head was throbbing in pain.

“Ah sorry, you were exactly in the middle. I didn’tnotice,” Takao angelically apologized with a fake smile on his lips, while spinningaround.

“You fucker!” Haizaki growled and tried to hit himwith the bat but the other speeded away, reaching Kise for a high-five.

“Good shot!” the blonde beamed at him, proud to havingbeen avenged. “It’s a pity that idiot blocked it.”

“Guys please…”Himuro flew between them with a scowl onhis face, “Try to be a bit mature.”

“It’s his fault!” the two argued offended by hisaccuse.

“Yeah, yeah but we should train and- Where’s theQuaffle now?” he suddenly asked furrowing and turning his head left and right.

Kise and Takao exchanged a horrified look, realizingit probably fell on the ground. They hurriedly searched for the ball and frozewhen they caught sight of it. The red Quaffle was resting into Mayuzumi’shands. After having crashed on his novel, destroying the book.

“Damn.” Takao didn’t know if he wanted to laugh or toscreech terrified. He opted for something in between.

The three of them, paralyzed, watched as the older boyslowly stood up and looked for them. They could see his furious stare fromthere. Then, he picked up his bat and grabbed his broomstick.

“I was waiting for this.” Kise snorted, anticipating inboth dread and amusement the absurd change in his housemate’s behavior.

In the exact moment Mayuzumi’s feet left the ground, aroar echoed in the pitch.

“I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.”

The three catchers exchanged a scared look, paling. Hewas even angrier than usual; he liked that book that much?

“Go!” Kise pushed Takao, hurrying him to fly for theirlives, eyeing the charging Beater coming for their heads.

Unfortunately, an angry Haizaki, who had finallycaught the Bludger and who was ready to get his revenge, blocked their gateway.

“DIE!” He screamed hitting it and sending the angryball in their direction.

Kise shrilled and ducked, dragging Himuro with himbefore he could end up in the infirmary with a broken nose. Again.

Takao overturned in a swift movement and avoided ittoo.

The Bludger flew past them and nearly hit Mayuzumi inthe face, who in turn threw it back at the last second with a powerful swing.

“HAIZAKI I’M GONNA MURDER YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!” Yelledaiming at the boy’ chest, surrounded by a dark aura.

“Why you always drag me into this!” Himuro hissed exasperated,but he didn’t have the time to elaborate his complain.

“Let’s divide!” Kise urged pointing his broomstick tothe sky. He could seem worried and, to be honest, he was really scared to be crushedto a pulp by those two ferocious Beaters, yet he was used to that thrill. Itwas adrenalizing, it was interesting. It made his heart beat and his instinct gowild.

A smirk spontaneously appeared on his lips while he flewup.

“I’ll go taking back the Quaffle!” Takao exclaimed divingtowards the ground. He knew exactly what his friend was thinking and was readyfor it. He wore the same, excited and mischievous expression.

Himuro groaned, but couldn’t help himself fromgrinning.

“Why it always ends up like a survival game?” he askedfollowing Kise and avoiding to be crashed by another Bludger sent by Haizaki.

“Because you love it!” the blonde chanted, before addressinghis captain, who was still watching them from the ground, “CAPTAIN GUARD THERINGS! WE’RE GOING TO SHOOT!” he warned cheerfully waving his hand. He then hadto suddenly duck and evading Mayuzumi’s bat, not waiting for an answer.

“You’re doing what?” Mayuzumi cursed under his breathcatching up with the iron ball, “I’m going to knock off that stupid broom youand your fucking grin, before you can even reach the rings.” Growled narrowinghis eyes and neatly aiming at Kise’s head. Unluckily the blonde had the reflexesto avoid it, swerving to the left, but he didn’t surrender and started chasingafter him.

“Let’s see who scores more point!” Takao addedexcited.

“If you got hit by the Beaters, you lose points!” Himuroestablished escaping from a Bludger.

“If I hit you, I’ll damn kill you!” Haizaki roaredchasing after him.

Imayoshi from the ground looked at his players, tryingto kill or at least seriously injure each other. Haizaki and Mayuzumi weremanaging to fight each other and at the same time to strike the others.Impressive. Ah, Takao had taken back the Quaffle. He and Kise tried somehazardous passes, but as usual, they didn’t miss one. Their coordination wasincreasing. Probably Himuro’s directives helped.

Imayoshi sighed again, defeated.

Well, at least his catchers wanted to try and score.At that point, he couldn’t do anything else other than going up there too andadapt to their stupid way of playing. Serious practice had to be postponedagain.

The Captain freed the remaining Bludger and took offtoo.

 Ten minutes later, Akashi and Murasakibara entered thepitch too. The Seeker frowned at the sight of his team in the air. Kise washolding his left arm, probably broken, and whining; Takao was laughing his assoff at Haizaki’s face covered in blood and crushed nose, Mayuzumi was screamingcurses and insults at Himuro, who in the end lost his patience too and threw theQuaffle against the Beater’s chest, nearly knocking him down. Imayoshi was exasperatedlyyelling at them from his position in front of the rings, completely ignored.

“I told you it was going to end up like this…”Murasakibara mumbled, still offended about being dragged away from the kitchen.

At first Akashi didn’t answer, still frozen. Then adark, cold aura spread around him and Murasakibara wisely took a step back.

“I hope,” Akashi replied in a soft, cold voice, “they’reready for what awaits them,” he threatened with a polite smile before he elegantly jumped on his broom.

“Ah, they’re dead,” Murasakibara deadpanned while theSeeker dashed full speed towards the unaware and chaotic team.