#my manager; i might just reach out to HR. just like ‘hey i haven’t heard from anyone in my department; can you just confirm with them

[raisinghellonstarbug]

Stumbled Into Laughter, Stumbled Into You - A James Acaster x Reader Story

Basic plot: The year is 2019, and life has been quite dull for you since working in a job that you hate for the past two years after graduating from university. You used to do stand up comedy at uni, but you’ve been putting off pursuing it due to lack of confidence and motivation. Your best mates decide to encourage you to try a comedy mic night for the first time ever and while there you incidentally run into an old mate of yours, comedian Rhys James. That’s when your life gets turned around as you end up diving into the world of the comedy circuit and becoming close with other famous British comedians. In the midst of it all, you end up meeting a particularly distinctive red headed fellow who might end up being the very thing that brings meaning to your life again.

*

A/N: Hello Acaster fans!

So this was an idea I have had in mind for the last few months and I finally finished the first chapter of my story!

Just so you know, the first chapter does not include James, but be patient as he will appear soon (but maybe not quite as soon as you hope). I do reckon it will be worth the wait for his appearance, or at least I hope the story is still enjoyable! It is a slow burn so if you are an inpatient person, then this story might not be for you ;)

You can read this chapter below or if you prefer, there is also the link to the chapter posted on Ao3 right here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33748507

-

Rating: M

Chapter 1 word length: 2326

Characters: James Acaster (duh), Original Female Characters(s), Original Male Character(s), Rhys James, Ed Gamble, Nish Kumar, Josh Widdicombe

Relationships: James Acaster x Reader/you, Original female character/Original Male character

Story tags: Romantic comedy, domestic fluff, slow burn, fluff and smut, British comedy, eventual relationships

Tagging: @laurabeech @rilannon @jasclearwaters @marklily @queensantiagoofthe99

Chapter 1 - Summer 2019

You were sitting at your desk at your mundane job, practically ready to blow your brains out on the usual, dull Thursday afternoon. It was really warm and stuffy inside the fifteen story office block building situated in Canary Wharf. This was a place you found yourself five days a week, doing the typical 9 to 5 hours. A usual day for a usual person.

Your job wasn’t a particularly riveting one. As an underwriter for an insurance company, some days could get especially boring. You knew how to do the job well, but it was not something you really loved. It involved all kinds of clients and claims in paperwork and it sometimes felt tedious and unfulfilling. But hey, it still paid your share of rent and bills. At least you could say you could manage in the hustle and bustle of the London lifestyle.

It was nearly hometime and you were itching to get home and relax. But before that could happen, there were those last set of insurance cover forms you had to copy to get sent to the HR department. And so you typed away on your laptop, clickety clack, clickety clack… the minutes went by like a chalk on a blackboard, scraping away at a snail’s pace.

You put your full force of concentration on the documents on the screen until it was finally done. A sense of achievement was necessary in these moments despite your lack of enthusiasm. It was in the little victories you reminded yourself. You rubbed the sweat from the July heat off your forehead.

* * *

The last 2 hours eventually passed by and it was soon the rush to get out of the door before you got held up by your colleagues. They were nice enough, but sometimes they could hold you back for half an hour chatting when you just wanted to get home, or your manager might try and get you to stay an hour overtime.

Thankfully you did get out promptly, and as you ran and dashed out of the office building saying brisk goodbyes to coworkers, you managed to make it to the tube with the train just arriving on time. But not without being moderately sweaty and hot though. Bloody stuffy platforms.

As expected it was still a busy train with plenty of 5pm finishers getting themselves situated on the half crowded carriages, but as it was only 10 past, it wasn't the worst time of day for commuting yet.

You perched yourself on one of the tube’s seats and let your shoulders drop, having held the tension in your body from sitting at a desk all day. You placed your head slightly back, balancing it on the window of the train. You looked up momentarily above you and then lifted your head back up to look at your phone and choose a song to listen to on Spotify through your wireless earphones.

The streams of sound from one of your favourite songs began to play softly in your ears and you smiled, knowing that the song gave you a little bit of wistful joy. You started mouthing the words.

Call it all for nothing, but I'd rather be nothing to you. Than be a part of something, something that I didn’t do (Best to You - Blood Orange).

The words half mean something but not necessarily anything. You began to wonder about being part of something that you’re not.

I just wish I could float away from my unexciting existence… you thought to yourself.

It sometimes occurred to you that you might have wanted something more out of life, but weren’t entirely sure what. It doesn’t make you dreadfully sad, but you know that life for you hasn’t exactly been the best it could be, and that perhaps something was missing. You wish you knew what it was.

You sighed, ignoring the feeling of sorrow wash over you momentarily and propped yourself back up in the uncomfortable seat of the train. You tried to keep yourself awake so that you wouldn’t miss your stop. The music continued through your ears.

* * *

You opened the door of the three bedroom flat that you had been residing in for the last two years with your flatmates and sighed with relief that you had finally reached home. You hurried to get your handbag off your shoulder and your shoes off, placing them on the rack next to the front door and walked through the hallway.

The minute you poked your head through to the lounge, bellowing a faint hello to whoever was around, you were suddenly greeted by one of your best friends and flatmates, Grace.

“Ahh Y/n! You’re home. Thank christ!”

She grabbed you and reached her arms around to embrace you tightly. You were perplexed by this gesture as it was so random and unusual given that Grace lived with you and saw you everyday of the week. You frowned and reluctantly placed your arms around her to return the hug.

As she then let go, she looked at you with urgency in her eyes and shrieked with excitement, “Oh Y/n guess what? It looks like I’m up for a promotion! Can you believe it?”

Now processing the reason for such an embrace, you raised your eyebrows in glee and smiled proudly, gushing back to your best mate who was obviously chuffed by the matter.

“Oh wow Grace, that's fantastic! I mean, finally. It is about bloody time!”

She smiled, “Yes I guess it is. But I mustn't get too excited. I haven’t officially got the promotion yet.”

“Ah but no. I’m not having any of that. You will get that promotion. It is a guarantee. They would be idiots to not give it to you.” Grace rolled her eyes and bit her lip. She reluctantly nodded and agreed.

The smell of food distracted you momentarily from the conversation. It was a particularly appetising smell.

Grace uttered, “Yes that smell is good isn’t it? Theo insisted on cooking us a nice meal for me as a celebration.”

You smiled knowingly, having known about how Grace and Theo had been in relationship limbo ever since you three became close friends at university. You knew they both had feelings for each other but often danced around the subject, completely oblivious to one another’s obvious attraction to the other. You reckoned they had to do something about it one day.

“Thank fuck. I wasn’t prepared to make dinner tonight. I am too tired for that.”

Grace then had her worried face on. She instantly knew, as she knew you too well, but funnily enough never picked up on Theo’s emotions despite constantly wondering about them, that something was wrong.

“Are you ok babe?” she asked with a look of pity that you scornfully resented.

You sighed, half lying, “Yes. I’m fine. Just tired is all.”

You made a beeline for the couch knowing full well that you were going to talk about it whether you liked it or not. You knew that Grace would see right through your dishonesty and insist that you told her the problem.

So you waited until Grace inevitably sat next to you and gave you that sympathy look she always gave you before coming out with the concerns that were floating around your brain.

“OK fine. I know you won’t leave me alone unless I tell you.”

“Ahh, you know me so well…”

“Yes, just as you know me. I’m just- I’m fed up. Work was slow. I don’t really feel like I’m associated with my life. I feel... disconnected, I guess.”

“Do you have any idea why?”

You shrugged and looked down at the floor and then back at Grace smiling sheepishly, “I don’t know. Maybe I’m not- not fulfilled? I just don’t thoroughly enjoy my life right now.”

Grace nodded and put a hand on your leg. You twitched your face in slight discomfort. You hated it when you were given sympathy for something that seemed so miniscule. It wasn’t like you were dying.

It was times like this when you just wanted to curl up in your bed, eat a tub of ice cream and watch your favourite comedy programmes. 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown sprang to mind.

As you sat in momentary silence for a bit, Theo came waltzing through from the kitchen with his silly apron on that had a naked man’s body printed on it, and a spatula in his hand. He smiled at you.

“I thought I heard your voice. I hope meatballs for dinner are good tonight. Not mine of course,” gesturing to the apron as he said it.

You shook your head at Theo’s poor dad joke and stood up to hug him. You realised that you must be really down in the dumps to be hugging Theo. It was his turn to be confused. He looked towards Grace wide eyed.

“She’s had a particularly tough day. But mind you babe, you’ve kinda been like this for weeks now.”

You let go of Theo and turned to Grace, frowning and feeling slightly defensive. You placed a hand on your hip.

“Been like what? I’ve just been a bit fed up, that's all.”

“Yes but it’s not just a bit fed up. You said so yourself you feel disconnected. We’ve been waiting for you to say it.”

You looked to Theo and he nodded gently in agreement.

“Ok… but, nothing is really wrong exactly. My life is fine.”

“Fine, yes. But not amazing. We know it’s getting you down. And the job is the problem.”

“But I’m good at it. And it pays the bills. What else am I supposed to do?”

Grace then looked away from your eyes then, twitching her lip and looking as though she was holding something back. She then sighed and began to admit something you had not been expecting.

“OK look. We know what you can do. Theo and I have figured it out. We can manage money wise. It will be tight, but if you quit your job we should be able to help you out for a little bit.”

Your eyes grew wider than large saucepans. You were totally bewildered and your mouth slightly agape.

“What? Quit my job? Why? What work would I get instead?”

“Well, maybe you won't quit your job yet. Maybe you’re right, that's too hasty. Perhaps what I’m trying to say is-”

Theo then chimed in, “-what Grace is trying to say is…”

You smirked to yourself. How do they not realise that they’re already a couple but without the sex? They’re practically married for christ sake.

“...we reckon that you need to pursue your passion. Perhaps stop wasting your talents in an office job that you hate.”

Grace continued, “yes exactly. We have had an idea in mind. See, we want you to go to this thing… it’s no biggie but well, we’ve already booked it for you.”

Your mind was racing. You couldn’t understand anything that they were saying to you. It was all too much for you to manage.

“Booked what for me? What the hell are you both going on about?”

They both looked at each other with reluctance, pondering the moment and whether to tell you the whole truth. They both shrugged and Grace was then pulling her phone out, this whole conversation beginning to appear as though they had been trying to practice it.

Suddenly Grace’s phone screen was wavering in your face. You moved your head closer to see a photo on the screen. It was a comedy club night poster. Incidentally, it was an open mic night event happening on Saturday night. You began to then put the puzzle pieces together. You folded your arms and frowned heavily.

“What the fuck have you two done now?”

Theo softly spoke, “We… booked you a slot to do that comedy open mic event thing, on Saturday night.”

“Wait. As in to perform? You can’t be serious-”

Grace tried to reassure you and grabbed your arm.

“Look, we know it might seem daunting, but we just wanted to see you happy again. It’s been two years since we graduated and you haven’t performed since then. We thought it might be good to encourage you to perform again. You were always funny to us. And people at uni thought so too. You have the stand up talent, Y/n.”

You could not process anymore. You shook your head in disbelief and placed your head in your hands, rubbing your eyes from sudden exhaustion. You then threw your hands up in exasperation. It was not possible. You could not do that again.

Fucking no way. I can’t be on stage again! It’s too scary. University pub nights are one thing but a comedy club?

You shook your head again and placed your hands on your hips. Grace tried to speak up again seeing the frustration painted across your face. In fact it was anger that your friends chose to do this without your say so.

“Y/n…”

“No. Nope. I’m not doing it. No.”

“But Y/n, we were also going to tell you that Theo is also thinking of doing the same thing! He wants to do his music again. What harm would it be for you to rejuvenate your comedy skills? Surely you can write a quick couple of gags. Nothing strenuous. You have your old material from university, right?”

You had to get out of the room. Nothing that they were saying to you could be fully accepted at that moment.

You then gave them no choice but to let you go with your head in a flurry. They both watched you leave the room, mumbling something along the lines of I’m not really hungry anymore, I’m going to bed. Soon after, you darted across the other end of the hallway, ill-tempered and almost seething, and slammed your bedroom door shut.

[mymoonagedaydream]

ps, idk what the biker/college bucky story will include but i can throw out the idea of doing the modern day army veteran Bucky as a one shot or something? or whatever you don't include in the series lol

Recluse

Summary: You barely even expected to get a conversation out of Steve’s reclusive roommate, never mind anything more than that.

Pairing: Modern Veteran!Bucky x y/n

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: Language, smut references, references to military service

Author’s Note: You bet your butt I can do that for you anon. This one really got out of hand idk what happened man I couldn’t stop.

---

You’d been living with your friend Sharon for a couple of years now, and it was still going pretty well.

Your ground-floor apartment was very compact, but she was so considerate and easy to get on with, you barely even noticed the lack of space. She cooked for you occasionally, always paid rent on time, even did your laundry without being asked.

You just couldn’t help thinking that things were much more fun when you were both single.

Nothing much had changed in your life, you were still a lone wolf, but she’d been with Steve for almost six months now and you barely ever saw her anymore. 

Most nights you were just left to your own devices, clattering around the apartment like some sad old spinster.

It got to the point where, one Friday when you got home from work, you heard Steve and Sharon talking in the kitchen and got excited at the prospect of just having some company for the evening.

Sharon almost jumped on you as soon as you walked in. ‘Y/n! Are you free tonight?’

‘Yeah, totally, completely. You guys sticking around?’

‘You think he’d ever agree to that?.’

‘We were actually thinking of going out for some drinks. You in?’ You contemplated for a second, not wanting to come across too eager, then gave her an enthusiastic nod.

As she grinned back at you, you saw an idea dawn on her. ‘Steve, you should totally bring Bucky.’

Sharon frowned in resignation. You had no idea who they were talking about, their conversation going completely over your head.

Steve went home to change, leaving you and Sharon with a couple hours to get ready before heading out, so you thought you might as well try to probe a little deeper.

‘Who’s Bucky?’ You asked casually, sitting on her bed, watching her hold dress after dress up to herself in the mirror.  

‘Steve’s roommate.’

‘I didn’t know Steve had a roommate?’

‘I’d be more surprised if you did.’ She turned towards you. ‘In six months I’ve only met him twice.’

Your eyebrows darted up. She spent so much time at Steve’s place, that made no sense at all. 

‘What? Why?’

‘I’m pretty sure he makes a point to avoid people generally.’ She flopped herself down next to you on the bed, her tone lowering to one of deep sincerity. ‘He was in the army with Steve. Apparently he just really struggled to adapt when they got back, collapsed in on himself for a while. I think he’s a mechanic now but Steve is still the only person he really speaks to.’

‘Shit, that’s awful.’

She gave a grim nod and shrugged slightly, before standing back up and starting to get changed. 

You figured you should do the same, shuffling back to your room and finally taking off your work clothes, relieved at the thought of getting out of the apartment for the evening.

Just as you were about to leave, Sharon’s phone pinged.

‘Holy shit.’

‘What?’ You’d never seen her look so shocked. She put her index finger up at you while quickly typing something back. ‘You’re killing me here Sharon, what the hell is going on?’

‘Bucky’s coming.’

---

You managed to find a cramped table in the back of the bar. Sharon made you wait for Steve to arrive before ordering drinks, because for some reason he always insisted on buying the first round.

About ten minutes after you arrived, she glanced over to the door, grinned and waved her hand above her head. Following her gaze, you saw Steve pushing through the crowd, followed closely by a statuesque, tower of a man.

Studying him intently as he approached, you noticed how visibly uncomfortable he was, his jaw clenched tight and his hands folded into slowly whitening fists. You let your eyes dance over his huge shoulders and wide chest, feeling your stomach flip a little as he got closer.

‘Hey guys. Sharon, you remember Buck?’ Steve gave his friend a proud pat on the shoulder. Sharon nodded and grinned at Bucky, getting only a short, tight smile in return. ‘And this is y/n.’

Looking up to his face, his sharp blue eyes briefly met yours, prompting you to quickly avert your gaze. He looked tense enough without you gawping at him.

‘Nice to meet you.’ You adopted the friendliest tone possible, doing your best to put him at ease.

Steve went to grab some drinks and Sharon volunteered to help him, leaving you at the table with Bucky, bracing yourself for some intensely awkward small talk.

‘So, you’re a mechanic?’ He nodded. ‘Do you enjoy it?’ Another nod.

Alright, he obviously wasn’t in the mood for chatting. 

Christ. If you didn’t break free from this spinster shit soon, that’s exactly where you’d end up.

You didn’t want to force it if he wasn’t comfortable, you could happily sit in silence if that’s what he’d prefer.

You moved your eyes to scan the room, eventually landing on an older woman propping herself up at the bar, downing martinis, eyeing up young men and wobbling on her insanely high heels.

‘What do you do?’

It was barely a mumble, you hardly heard it over the bar’s background music. 

Your eyes returned to Bucky’s face, meeting his hesitant gaze.

‘I work in HR, so boring admin stuff mainly.’ He nodded slightly, his eyes flicking nervously between the table and your face. ‘But occasionally I get to use the shredder, which is pretty rad.’

He cracked a brief smile, the sight of it giving you a wave of goosebumps. ‘Sounds thrilling.’

‘I’ve never been here before, have you?’ You were determined to keep this conversation going, especially if there was a chance that you’d be able to make him smile again.

‘No. I haven’t been to any bars recently.’

‘You’ve got quite a bit of catching up to do then.’

Resting your head on your hand, you gave him a mischievous smirk, and felt a little smug as you noticed his shoulders relax slightly and the corners of his mouth curl upwards.

Hours passed, the bar called last orders, and the four of you traipsed out to begin walking home.

Then Steve and Sharon came back with the drinks, pretty effectively ruining the moment you’d been setting up.

Bucky went quiet again, keeping to himself for most of the evening, only speaking when spoken to. You felt his gaze fall on you occasionally, but each time you tried to meet his eyes they were quickly averted.

‘Oh hey, I forgot to ask.’ Steve gestured towards you. ‘Sharon said you went to visit your parents last weekend? How was that?’

‘I couldn’t go in the end, my car's fucked. It’s my own fault, everyday there was a new rattling sound but just ignored it.’

‘I’ll take a look at it.’ Your eyes snapped over to Bucky, a little shocked at how enthusiastically he’d come out with that. ‘If you want.’

You gave him a wide smile. ‘Wow, yeah, that’d be amazing. Thank you.’

---

A few days later, you were faced with another evening alone while Sharon was at Steve’s.

You unenthusiastically pulled a ready meal out of the fridge and poked some holes in the plastic, shoving it in the microwave and reaching for the half-empty bottle of wine on the counter.

‘Hi. Sorry. I was coming this way and Sharon said you’d be in, I thought I could take a look at your car?’

Just as you went to grab a glass out of the cupboard, you were stopped by a faint knock at the front door.

Shuffling over and yanking it open, you saw Bucky standing on your doorstep, looking just as uncomfortable as he did walking into that bar.

You were a little embarrassed that he’d caught in your pyjamas at 6:30, but that feeling was hugely outweighed with how pleased you were to see him.

‘Yeah, great.’ You gave him a warm smile. ‘I’ll just grab my keys.’

You found your gaze pretty quickly drawn to his arms, propping him up as he leant over the machinery like thick, hefty tree trunks. It was amazing how entranced you were by them, but considering how long it’d been since you’d even brushed past an attractive male, it made sense. God the things you’d let him do, if he-

You slipped on your shoes and led him over to the rustbucket, badly parked on the street outside. He flicked open the bonnet and immediately started tinkering.

You had less than no idea what was happening, but it looked very impressive.

‘Could you start it up?’ His deep voice pulled you out of your hazy fantasies.

‘Hmm? Oh, yeah.’

You tried your best to hide how flustered you were as you climbed into the driver's seat and turned the key. An intense rattling started, which he listened to for a second before signalling for you to turn it off and closing the bonnet.

‘You were right, it needs a lot of work. It’s definitely not safe to drive.’

‘Shit, stuck with the bus then.’ You sighed and climbed out, slamming the door behind you. ‘Thank you so much, you really didn’t have to do this. I appreciate it.’

‘Anytime.’ He smiled politely, taking a couple steps backwards before turning, dropping his head and starting to walk away.

‘You can come in for a drink if you want?’ You called after him, a little shocked at your boldness but not at all mad about it. He spun round. ‘It’s the least I can do.’

He took a sip and turned himself slightly to face you. ‘Look, if you bring your car to the shop where I work, I can probably keep the price down.’

His polite smile evolved into a wide grin as he nodded, following you inside.

You grabbed him a beer from the fridge and gestured for him to join you on the couch, smiling to yourself at how nervous he seemed as he balanced himself right on the edge of the seat.

‘Are you sure?’ He nodded. ‘That's so nice, you barely even know me.’

He looked a little sheepish at that, scurrying around for his words. ‘Sharon was pretty keen for me to come take a look, it’s probably best to keep Steve’s girlfriend on side, y’know.’

‘Oh I do know, Sharon can be terrifying.’ You both chuckled as Bucky edged back, settling himself into the couch a little more. ‘So you and Steve met in the army?’

‘We’ve been friends since we were kids, we signed up together.’

‘That’s nice.’ You tilted your head at him, deciding to take a slight gamble on your next question. ‘Do you miss it?’

He fixed his eyes on the ground and faintly shook his head, nervously starting to pick at the label on his bottle.

Shit, you really didn’t mean to make him uncomfortable, you were just curious.

A swift subject change remedied the situation somewhat, and after a while you sensed him beginning to relax again.

You finished off your glass of wine and checked your phone, your hand shooting up to your forehead in shock when you saw that it was close to midnight.

Over the next couple hours he slowly came out of his shell even further, eventually chatting and laughing with you like you were his good friend. The two of you unconsciously edged towards each other throughout the evening, ending up face to face with legs folded up on the couch, as close as you could get without touching.

‘Shit, I have work tomorrow.’

‘I’m really sorry.’ He put his bottle on the coffee table and stood up quickly. ‘I didn’t mean to keep you up.’

‘Oh you don’t have to apologise, it’s not your fault. I had a really nice evening.’

‘Me too.’ He smiled and buried his hands in his pockets, following you to the front door. ‘I’m working every day this week, you can come in whenever.’

‘Friday would be great? I have the day off.’

‘See you then.’

You watched him disappear down the street, feeling your limbs tingle with excitement at the prospect of seeing him again so soon.

---

You usually used your days off to sleep in till midday, but on Friday the tow truck showed up at 7am to take your car to the shop. You didn’t even get up that early on workdays. A pint of coffee was barely enough to keep you from passing out on the ride there.

He eventually noticed you stood there, staring, and your face immediately heated up as he approached.

You hurried inside the garage, scanning the room and eventually spotting Bucky underneath a hoisted truck, reaching up to work on it. His arms were glistening with oil and sweat and his shirt was riding up, exposing the faint trail of hair starting underneath his bellybutton.

Lord in heaven, what a view.

‘Sorry, didn’t want to interrupt.’

‘That’s alright.’ He pulled a dirty rag out of his pocket and roughly wiped his hands. ‘Did you bring the deathtrap?’

‘Yep, just outside.’

‘It’s gonna be a while. I finish at four, d’you wanna come back then?’

‘Sure.’

You walked up the driveway ten minutes early, which you thought was reasonable, and asked the very intimidating guy out front for Bucky. He just eyed you up and down and gestured vaguely to the side of the building.

On the way home you kept accidentally walking into roads, your mind completely occupied with Bucky’s midriff.

The whole day dragged. In your boredom you ended up leaving for the garage about an hour too early, meaning you had to loiter in an off-license, probably looking like you were shoplifting.

Turning the corner, you were met with a pretty impressive, cinematic wide shot of Bucky’s arse as he was leaning over the inside of your bonnet.

You should probably say something. Tell him you were there. Say hello.

Yeah, probably should.

Yeaaah.

You sighed and reluctantly shuffled towards the car.

‘How’s it-’ Bucky jumped and whacked his head against the propped-up bonnet. ‘Fuck! I’m so sorry, are you alright?’

He smiled at you, standing up and rubbing the back of his head. ‘Yeah, all good. Happens all the time.’

‘Oh, really? In that case you might want to consider a career change, could end up with some permanent damage.’ Chuckling, he reached up and slammed the bonnet with one powerful movement. ‘How’s it looking?’

‘Not bad. Want to take it for a spin?’

‘Sure.’ He held up the keys and you grabbed them out of his hand, excitedly hopping in the driver’s seat while he walked around and got in the passenger side. ‘You coming?’

‘Can’t just let you drive off without paying, you might never come back.’

You shot him a wide smile as you fired up the engine, amazed at how smooth it sounded, and pulled away from the garage.

‘I can’t believe it, it didn’t even run this good when I first got it.’ He smirked a little and nodded. ‘Thank you, Buck.’

You were already in the outskirts of the city, so you decided to drive out into the sticks a little, eventually pulling up into a dusty layby on a narrow side road.

Glancing to your side, you saw that Bucky was struggling not to look very pleased with himself.

As he began stroking his thumb along your knuckles, he cautiously pulled his gaze up to your face, looking at you like you’d just told him he’d won the lottery.

His hands were resting on his thighs and, almost unconsciously, you reached out to grab the one closest to you and squeeze it lightly.

He stared down at it for a few seconds, eventually turning his hand over and squeezing back.

You could barely even remember what happened next. You remember the back of your neck tingling, your stomach tightening almost to the point of becoming painful, the feeling of Bucky’s rough, calloused hand against your cheek and the way your heart jumped when he leaned towards you and pressed his mouth against yours.

Eventually pulling away, he buried his face in your neck, planting short kisses along your jawline between laboured breaths. You pushed his head back against the seat and pressed your forehead to his, closing your eyes and letting your hands dance down his chest.

It was slow and tender at first, but it quickly picked up, becoming feverish and passionate.

He threw his arms around your waist and roughly pulled you over onto his lap, holding you so tight to his chest that you couldn’t tell whose heart you could feel thumping like a steam engine.

‘It’s been a while since I’ve done that.’ He sighed, bringing a hand up to bury itself in your hair.

‘Me too.’ Your mouth curled into a smile. ‘It’s been even longer for other stuff.’

Melting into each other in a cacophony of limbs and flesh and tearing clothes, both of you eventually found the release you so desperately needed. 

There was a loaded silence, you opened your eyes to see Bucky staring at you intently, wearing an expression that made your toes curl.

You dived clumsily into the backseat and pulled him after you, giggling as you both adjusted yourselves, trying to get even slightly comfortable in such a tight space.

And both of you did all you could to savour the feeling of finally having someone to hold close.

---

[star-trekkin-across-theuniverse]

Resource Management, pt21

Word Count: 3284 Tags: @supermoonpanda @rayleyanns @sistasarah-sallysaidso @feelmyroarrrr @anyakinamidala @dirajunara @little-study-bug @rampant-salamander @goodnightwife @samaxraph99 @anotherotter  @outside-the-government @kingarthurscat @coyote-in-space @originalpottervengerlock @dolamrothianlady @curiositywillbethedeathofme @superheroesofbothuniverses @mtriestowrite @wanderingkat77

“What have you discovered this week?” Stark got right to the point once we were in his car. I tried to focus on the conversation, but I’d never been in a limo before. I wanted to push all the buttons, and stand up and hang out the sunroof, and sample from every decanter. I probably shouldn’t have had the second beer. It was just enough to make it difficult for me to pay attention.

“Same-same as when we last spoke. I haven’t heard from Phil, so I don’t know what headway he’s made with the thumb drive. I handed the notebook over to Fury. Fury is convinced there is going to be an attempt on my life. At least, that’s how it felt when he decided to have a meeting with me at three in the morning,” I rambled.

“So no headway?” He asked. I shook my head.

“To be fair, Tony, I do have another full-time job. And there was a shitload of positions that were posted a few weeks ago, and they needed to be closed and filled,” I complained, “and when you couple that with training, and worrying, I just haven’t had time for sleuthing.”

“You miss him,” he observed.

“That too.”

“Well, here’s what my snooping around dug up,” he offered with a pause, “absolutely nothing.”

“So why are you here?” I asked. The limo drove past my apartment and continued down the street. Stark didn’t trust that my place wasn’t bugged.

“Absolutely nothing, Anna. Not a single thing was out of place in any of the files I nosed around in. Nothing was amiss. In an organization like SHIELD, dedicated to ensuring the safety of a planet, and every i was dotted, every t crossed. You don’t find that suspicious?” He asked. It dawned on me what he was saying.

“Nothing?”

“Not so much as a band-aid miscounted in inventory,” he nodded.

“That’s impossible.” I knew it was impossible to keep an accurate paperclip inventory in HR, there was no way everything was clean across the entire agency.

“So what is being hidden, and how do we hack into it?” He asked.

“And is Fury involved after all?” I pondered.

“I don’t think he is, or he wouldn’t have encouraged us to investigate. He wouldn’t have encouraged me to investigate if he had something to hide. I’m damn good. I would find every detail if Fury was dirty.” Stark’s hubris was outsized only by his bank account.

“Except you haven’t found anything at all,” I argued.

“Except evidence that something is being covered up.”

“I either need more booze or to sober completely up because that almost made sense,” I laughed. The limo stopped and I glanced out the window. We were in the darkened parking lot of Stark’s Pentagon City building.

“When is your birthday, Anna?” He changed topics fluidly. I glanced back to him confused.

“September, why?”

“Wait here. Happy birthday,” he opened the door and got out of the limo. I watched him walk across the lot and into the building. I nearly leaped out of my skin when the limo door opened; I was so focused on watching for Stark’s return.

“Hey,” Phil smiled and slid into the seat Tony had just been sitting in. I launched myself at him, throwing my arms around his neck. I heard him chuckle just a little.

“What are you doing here?” I wanted to tear his clothes off, but was acutely aware of the driver in the front seat.

“I can’t come see you?” His lips brushed against mine, and I struggled to figure out how to get closer. Vehicular snuggling had never been my forte. He opened the door and slid out, pulling me along by the hand.

“I hate not talking to you,” I commented once we were free of the car. He pulled me into his arms and silenced me with a needy, forceful kiss.

“I’ve been working on that thumb drive all week. We’re getting nothing,” he broke away from me to speak, “but I think we’ve made a huge discovery on the case we’ve been working on for months. I’m going to have to stay with that for as long as it takes. I’m hoping to wrap it up quickly. Then a night out to celebrate before we get back to this traitor and hornet’s nest issue.”

“How long can you be away tonight?” I knew I was pouting. I knew it was childish. I was still pouting.

“I can afford a few hours,” he smiled and nodded over one shoulder. Lola was waiting for us a few feet away.

“Well then, let’s not waste time.” I pulled him back to me for another kiss and led him toward his car.

Our lovemaking was hurried and frantic. I snuck into the shower with him and laughed when he insisted on shampooing my hair for me, luxuriating in the feel of his fingers rubbing my scalp, and drawing the rinse water through it. He leaned into my back, drawing me into the circle of his arms, the hot water pouring down on us. I felt all the tension leave my body and felt truly relaxed for the first time in weeks.

“I wish you didn’t have to go,” I murmured, dropping my head to his arm. I felt the muscles of his bicep stretch as he squeezed me.

“I will be requesting vacation time when this is over.” It was an invitation.

“Where are we going to go?” I teased.

“I hear the scenery is beautiful in Northern B.C,” he commented.

“Home?” I was floored. He wanted to take me home. To my home. The weird sensation in my chest that I was beginning to suspect might be love was back. I turned to face him. There were bubbles from the shampoo in his chest hair, and I found myself tracing my fingers over them, watching them pop and wash away.

“I think it would be good for both of us to get away,” he explained. I brushed my lips across his.

“I think that you are quickly becoming one of the best things that has happened in my world,” I whispered, and reached behind him to turn off the water.

Round two was unhurried and deliberate. Phil kissed my forehead before he slipped from the bed.

“Don’t get up. I’ve got to get back. I’ll lock up,” he whispered, and dropped a final kiss on my shoulder. I watched him get dressed and was drifting off to sleep when I heard him throw the bolt on my door.

I was so lonely when I awoke that it almost would have been better had Phil not shown up. Almost. But not quite. I got up and headed to the park to run with Lex. Steve was away on some sort of mission, so we went for a coffee after running and chatted about strength conditioning. Lex blew off the notion that she knew anything about strength training, and informed me she had come by her strength by accident. She did, however, know a great gym that she could set me up with.

“Is it true that you’re some sort of kick-ass martial artist?” It wasn’t a ninety-degree turn in the direction of the conversation, but it was enough of a change that it was a little jarring.

“I’m no Romanoff,” I laughed.

“Yeah, but she’s, like, the only person who can beat you.” Lex cocked an eyebrow, challenging me to argue with her.

“Steve could probably kick my ass too. Agent May has proven she can as well.” I was far from elite. At least, I thought I was.

“But if you were regularly using your skills?” Lex pressed.

“It’d be close between May and I. And closer than it is now between Romanoff and I,” I admitted.

“So theoretically, you’re better than Agent May, and as good as Romanoff?” She asked.

“Theoretically. Of course, theoretically, I could also be an astronaut, and I’m not.”

“I’m going to be here for a while. I could use a consistent sparring partner.” It wasn’t a statement, it was a question.

“You think I can teach you something?” I was pleasantly surprised by the request. She nodded and took a long drink from her coffee.

“Probably a lot.”

“Alright then, but you get to keep working with me on shaving down my running times, and help me find a way to strengthen myself up,” I conceded. She held her hand out.

“Deal,” she said as we shook on it.

Everything was so quiet at work, I wanted to scream. The staff was working silently at their desks; no one had their radios on. Erin was out at training. I was puzzling through the list of things we’d found in the drawer at Cecelia Banks’ place. Was the shopping list pertinent to anything? Did it have any meaning other than a list of things that needed purchasing? After the relevance of the bug bomb reference, I couldn’t let go of the notion that the shopping list meant something. I flicked through my phone’s photos until I found it, and looked at it for what felt like the millionth time. Cecelia’s handwriting was all perfect angles and curves, but her spelling was erratic. The first time I’d looked at the list, I realized she did the same thing as I did when she made a shopping list, and grouped the items according to the location in the store. The meat was together, bakery items were together, produce together, etc. This time, the items that weren’t grouped appropriately stood out to me. I grabbed a scrap of paper and scribbled down each item as it would be out of place in my usual grocery store. It might not be correct to her grocery store, but it was the best I could do. I wound up with five items when I was done: garbage bags, chicken soup, shrimp ring, pumpkin and ‘gossip mag’. I sighed and pushed the paper away. It was no use. I hadn’t had ‘cyphers for super spies 101’, so there was no way I was going to be able to figure the mystery out. It seemed really weird that she would put a checkout magazine on the list though, so I remained convinced that the list had some sort of meaning. I dropped my head onto my desk in frustration. There was a knock on my doorjamb. I looked up and strangled a groan at the back of my throat. It was fucking Garrett.

“I feel like we got off on the wrong foot, sweetheart,” he began, “and I thought I should pop in and chat with you about this case I’m on.”

“You could have just told me you aren’t tech-savvy, Garrett,” I sighed. He sat down across from me.

“I’m not tech-savvy,” he smirked. “Erin magically manages to give me the information I need.”

“So what are you looking for?” I asked. He pushed a list toward me. It had a number of agent names on it, including Phil’s.

“I’ve been working on a project for a few months and I’m just not getting anywhere. I need to see these agent files to figure out if something clicks,” he offered.

“You’re a level eight?” I asked. I already knew he was, I had pulled up his personnel file when he walked into my office. It was highly unsettling to have him staring at me in person and on the computer screen. I reminded myself that both Phil and Erin thought he was solid.

“The last time Erin sent approved files to me, I couldn’t open them,” he began. I sighed. Computer literacy should really be a requirement at SHIELD. We were virtually paperless.

“Right. So how do you prefer to do this?” I asked.

“I have a safe house across town. I’ve been using it as a base of operations. We could be there in thirty minutes,” he sounded insecure, like he was worried I was judging him about his technological incompetence. Men. I rolled my eyes inwardly and pulled my purse from my desk.

“Let’s go then.” I logged off my computer, and locked up my office. Garrett leaned into Erin’s office to say hello while I fiddled with the key in my door. We headed out into the afternoon sun to his vehicle, a typically non-descript SHIELD SUV. He held the passenger door open for me and shut it after I was buckled in. There were some perks to his particular brand of old-fashioned misogyny. I liked having my door held for me. He stopped at a café and picked up tall take-away cups of coffee for us. On his way back to the vehicle, he stopped at the black surveillance van that was following us and chatted with the agent on the passenger side. I could see them laughing in the side-view mirror, and Garrett patted the guy on the shoulder before heading back to the van. As he was passing the coffees in to me, the van passed us.

“What magic did you just work?” I was amazed. That van had been tailing me since before Fury’s middle-of-the-night visit.

“I asked the guys to check with Director Fury to see if they needed to tail you if I had you at my safe house. It’s a highly classified location, so I prefer to keep the address from the agents with lower clearance. Fury seemed to think you would be safe with me.” He buckled up and turned the ignition back on. I felt a twinge of grudging respect. The van creeped me out, and he’d made it go away.

His safe house was west of the District, in Virginia, and in the late morning traffic, took a little less than the half hour he’d claimed. My coffee was just cool enough for me to drink when we pulled into the driveway. He led me into the house, and down to his office. He gestured towards the chair at the desk.

“I’m already logged in, but if you can access those files for me?” He took a sip of his coffee. I sighed.

“I’ll file the requests using your account, but I’ll have to log myself in to authorize your access,” I explained. He nodded and sat on the couch on the far side of the room. I sat down at the computer and filed the requests for each personnel file he was looking for. I paused momentarily on Phil’s, feeling protective, but silently reminded myself that my two closest friends approved of Garrett, and that Fury trusted him so much that he’d called off the security detail that had been following me. I reached for a pen to write down all the confirmation numbers, to make it easier to find the requests once I was in my own account. I pulled a piece of paper out of the printer beside the computer, and accidentally knocked over a stack of photos from the print tray. I bent over to pick them up, and Garrett jumped up to help me. I swiped them together, and saw myself on one of the photos. I picked it up and took a better look. It was Lex and I running. I bent over to pick up the rest of the photos but Garrett was bending down at my feet, gathering them. He snatched the photo from my hand and tossed them on a shelf by the couch, but not before I saw my face on at least two more photos. I looked at him questioningly.

“I had to check you out once I found out Phil was taken with you,” he shrugged.

“Hardly has anything to do with this investigation though, Garrett.” A sick dread roiled in my stomach.

“Right now, everyone is a suspect, honey. I need to know who I can trust.” His words were mild, but his eyes had grown cold. “Those files I requested?” He prompted me when I just sat there, staring at him. I shook my head to snap back to reality and nodded. His hand was resting on his sidearm, making me increasingly nervous.

“Agent Garrett, I have a couple of questions. And I’m here, so you may as well be honest with me,” I started. He cocked an eyebrow.

“Of course, sweetheart.”

“What is the real reason behind the photos?”

“Like I said –“

“No, Agent Garrett. I might not be a real agent, but I am expert in people. You have had your hand on your sidearm since I saw the photos,” I licked my lips and willed myself to not reach for my own weapon.

“What do you know about Coulson’s death?” Garrett demanded.

“Only what he told me,” I shrugged, “It’s not a big secret. He died, something happened, Fury found a way to bring him back. He doesn’t even know all the details, why would I?” Garrett’s hand clenched around his gun and I swallowed thickly.

“I need to see his file,” Garrett ordered.

“Why?” I asked

“Get me his goddamn file, Ms. Ellis,” he was cold. I felt the barrel of a gun against the back of my head, and jerked around to see who’d snuck in. It wasn’t someone I’d seen before, but he was tall, black, and had terrible scarring on one side of his face, almost like he’d be burned in a fire. It looked recent. And painful.

“Call off your goon,” I appealed, my heart pounding in my chest.

“Deliver the files and I will,” he shrugged.

“Well, this went south quickly,” I mumbled, and logged off Garrett’s account. I waited for the computer to finish the sequence by avoiding making eye contact with Garrett. I tried not to think about the gun at the back of my head, instead fighting to swallow the panic rising in my chest.

“The pictures were to see if you were someone I could turn,” he offered, “I need information, it’s key to what I’m doing here.”

“I don’t see where I come into this, to be quite frank,” I snapped.

“You are Human Resources right now, sweetheart. Just you. Why do you think I blew the department? I’ve known Fury for nearly thirty years; I knew his response would be to shut the entire place down. I wasn’t counting on Erin being so stubborn, but that worked out for me, I like her and didn’t want to hurt her. I don’t know you, so I don’t care if I have to kill you. You are the entire high clearance department. And you will get me anything I need.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I blinked and rubbed my eyes. “What is so goddamn important that you needed to kill all those people?”

“Life. The ability to restore it. To stabilize it. The Centipede project is going to make Captain America look like chump change. But we need to stabilize the subjects so they don’t burn. And whatever it was that brought Coulson back is going to give us that. So I need to know what it was,” he explained.

“So you just want Phil’s file?” I asked.

“I’ve seen it a million times. But I want you to open it again. And I want you to talk,” he smiled, and sat back on the couch again. I felt the renewed pressure of the gun barrel on my head and sighed. As I typed my name into the terminal, I remembered Fury’s words, and keyed in my passcode wrong. I hit enter and sent a silent prayer that Phil would be able to figure things out and save me.

[strongwomenarethebomb]

New Fic y’all

Ok, guys, this took me a long ass time to get up, but it’s finally here! it’s a continuation of my last fic, so you might want to check that out, too, for context.

Check it out on AO3 here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10159067/chapters/23299124

“Oh!” exclaimed Alex, right before the clock chimed twelve on April Fool’s Day, “I have a present for you, Maggie!”

She ran to her bag in the living room and rummaged around in it as five sets of eyes turned her way, the large grandfather clock in Kara’s apartment signalling the turn of a new day.

“Is that so, Danvers?” Maggie asked after the tolling of the clock subsided. “Is this another April Fool’s prank?”

“Nope, no prank.” Alex said, turning around to face Maggie with her hands hiding something behind her back. “I just got the opportunity to steal this away while J’onn was distracted by Winn and James’ antics.”

Alex finally brought her hands out from behind her back and showed everyone what she had been talking about. She smirked at Maggie’s bewildered expression, and couldn’t help but laugh at Kara’s alarmed one.

“Is that a grenade?” Kara asked in disbelief, staring at the black, cylindrical object in Alex’s palm, her hand on Lena’s arm, as if to shield her from the explosive.

“It’s… it’s a flash grenade,” Maggie stuttered, her eyes wide with awe.

“Is that even legal?” James couldn’t believe that Alex would actually steal a grenade, even for her girlfriend.

“Well, technically, this technology doesn’t even exist, so legality isn’t really an issue,” Alex informed him with a tilt of her head and a sly smile.

Maggie reached for the grenade, and Alex pulled back before Maggie could get her hands on it.

“Unh Uh,” Alex met her girlfriend’s puzzled gaze with a smirk, “What’s the magic word?”

Maggie put on her most dazzling smile, so that Alex’s heart gave a little flutter, and played along.

“Please?” She sweetly requested, and when Alex put her hands out, Maggie excitedly seized the grenade and immediately started toying with the various controls.

“It has different settings!” Maggie could barely contain her excitement. “What do you say we go try it out at the shooting range, Danvers?”

“Oh my god,” Winn said in disbelief, “I didn’t even know Maggie Sawyer had the capacity to giggle.”

“You tell anyone about this,” Maggie turned to him, eyebrows narrowed, “and I’ll throw you in jail.”

“Tha- that’s just a joke, right?” Winn stuttered.

Kara put a hand on his shoulder as Maggie squealed, “It has a test setting!”

“Oh, no, Maggie, don’t test that in-” Alex started, but before she could even finish her sentence, the grenade was already in the air, sailing toward the front door, as Maggie yelled, “Take cover!”

Alex and Maggie ducked behind the couch immediately, James went for the table, pulling Winn down along with him, and Kara simply flew Lena out of the window swiftly.

They all waited for a loud bang and a flash, but it never came. Instead, there was a big pop, and they all heard a sound like tiny grains of sand following the ground.

Maggie looked at Alex questioningly as she waited for the sound to subside, before she ducked her head out from behind the couch, and she choked.

As Kara and Lena swooped back into the apartment, Alex could see their eyes widen in shock as they looked towards the door, and when she looked towards James and Winn, she saw that both of them had a mortified expression on their faces.

She only hesitated a second before pulling herself up, rounding to face whatever had everybody so shocked, readying her body for a fight, like she was trained to do.

But, when she turned around to see whatever alien or human was going to try to kill them next, she realized that the threat was not foreign.

Standing at the door, covered from head to toe in glitter, arms crossed as always, glaring somehow at everyone at the same time, was their very own Martian father figure, J’onn J’onzz.

“What,” he yelled, “the hell is this?”

“J’onn!” Winn tried, “It’s nice to see you! You look absolutely radiant!” Winn tried to joke, but when J’onn fixed him with a dangerous stare, he shut up immediately.

“J’onn.” Alex’s hands were out, as if in surrender, “I can explain.”

“Oh, I’m sure you can,” he responded, “I already have Pam from HR preparing a heap of paperwork for you.”

“Ooh, Alex, you’re in trou-ble,” Winn teased.

“Oh, and as for you,” J’onn rounded on him, and even covered in glitter, he looked fierce, “You think I haven’t figured out by now how my top agent somehow managed to steal a highly guarded grenade and modify it, all while being out in the field all day without alerting me? I may not be a technical genius like you, Mr. Schott, but you have to give me more credit than that. There’s a stack of paperwork with your name on it waiting for you on your desk.”

J’onn’s words wiped the smirk off of Winn’s face faster than it came, and James put a hand on his shoulder, a pitying expression on his face.

“Forget about paperwork!” Kara exclaimed, “What about my apartment? It’s coated with glitter!”

“I think the bigger question is,” Maggie turned back to face Alex, her arms crossed, “Why is there glitter coming out of my flash grenade?”

“April fool’s!” Alex said with a shy smile, and, seeing the timid look on Alex’s face, Maggie couldn’t help but laugh and gift her a swift, reassuring kiss.

“Cute prank, Danvers,” she offered, “but you still owe me a flash grenade. A real one this time.”

“Yeah, that’s not happening,” J’onn insisted, “I can’t believe you went to all this trouble for a prank, Agent Danvers. I knew Mr. Schott here was capable of such foolishness, but I didn’t expect this from my top agent.”

“Hey! I am not foolish!” Winn claimed.

“J’onn, not to say I’m not hearing you, but I really can’t take you seriously when you’re covered in all that glitter.” Kara giggled.

At this, J’onn crossed his arms once more as everybody broke out into laughter at how ridiculous he looked, covered in the sparkly substance.

“It’s actually a pretty good look on you. The sparkle really brings out your eyes.” Kara choked out.

Even Lena couldn’t help but grin at her ridiculous new family, and as she looked at J’onn, she saw that even he didn’t look as angry as he was trying to, and she understood why, because she knew that, like her, he had found his family in this ridiculous group of delinquents, too.