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raisinghellonstarbug · 2 months ago

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OK but seriously how has it been a year already since I wrote this??

Keep meaning to give this some form of conclusion but not sure... and then of course I do need to get around to finishing Stumbled Into Laughter Stumbled Into You but not sure when either! Ugh my new life of being a mum which I love but also takes up so much of my time. Mind you I have a better excuse of procrastinating now than I did before when I was either just being lazy or when I was early pregnant 😆 anyway... I do wanna finish my stories one day so hopefully fairly soon!

James Acaster x Reader - a tinsy bit of drabble... (accidentally angsty, oops!!)

Title: Best Person in the World

Basic plot: It's a Friday and it's your usual weekly coffee evening with your best friend James. James has some big news to share with you. You're not sure how to take it...

Tags: James Acaster x reader, fluff, angst, coffee shop, London, winter, heartbreak, unrequited love, but is it really unrequited?, almost lovers, best friends, mention of Ed Gamble

Word count: 2238

Work had been quite stressful, but no more than usual. Quite frankly you were just glad to get yourself out of there so you could head over to your favourite coffee stop on the corner and meet your friend, albeit, stupidly handsome friend James.

You, all rushed off your feet and almost panting from practically sprinting your way from the cold and drizzly rain, step in through the door of the coffee place and find your favourite seat where you knew that James would probably already be there.

He was there in fact and the sight of him alone gave you the butterflies. You just couldn't help feeling starry eyed every time - and incidentally, never about his fame of being on the telly. Just James himself. A friend for 5 years now.

Ed introduced you. It was a spur of the moment. You have been smitten ever since. You didn’t have the guts to tell him.

But there were moments when you wondered. Could he feel the same? It was too hard to confront such a thing.

It didn't occur to you straight away, not when you first met him. But over time, it built up bit by bit. Like laying it out - brick by brick. You were basically in love with him and you didn't know what to do about it.

And he is greeting you as he always does, with a goofy smile and a little cuddle and no matter how many times you have done it, the feeling still makes you swoon. How were you going to get over this? You wondered if it would just be easier rather than having to tell him how you felt.

You were out of your trance when he let go and gestured to you to sit.

"So, Y/n are you having your usual yeah or something else? It's my turn to treat us," he sat down and looked dead at you in the eye, a whimsical eyebrow raising.

But you start to argue, "No wait hang on I'm pretty sure it's mine you definitely paid last week-"

He fobs you off by shaking his head and putting his hand out, "Yeah yeah don't worry about it, honestly it’s no bother. I have something to tell you anyway and it's pretty big so I'm in the mood to treat us..."

You perk up at his words and look at him quizzingly, "What is it James? You ain't going to leave your best mate hanging already are ya?"

He was looking at you now with serious intent and it unnerved you slightly. Suddenly, nerves were climbing up to the surface again. You watched him as he rubbed his hands together.

"Ok, so... this is pretty big right, and I have been trying to figure out the best way to tell you but-"

"Oh for goodness sake James just bloody tell me already!"

As you say this he responds in unison, "I've met someone."

You went totally silent. You were speechless. You wanted the ground to swallow you up. You blinked hard and asked him to repeat those words you wished he hadn't said.

"I've- met someone... as in she's er, well, she's brilliant actually and I think it might be serious," he looked down shyly at his napkin on the table, fiddling with the cutlery.

You decided that all you can do is feign happiness. Be delighted for him. It was all you could do, you couldn't be mad at him for finding someone.

But the words were not coming. You felt like you were going to be sick. Maybe you had to get some air but you couldn't arouse suspicion. James knew you well enough after all.

"Uh-" you tried to say something. Still nothing.

"Y/n? Are you alright? Did I say something bad? I did say it was big..."

You put your arm out, trying not to alarm him and wanting to avoid him getting close to you so that he couldn't hear your heartbeat or your stomach churning. You stood up from your chair and managed to finally stifle up some form of words.

"Sorry, James, I don't know- I think I might be coming down with something? Sudden headache! I think. Might need to go home actually and you might have to tell me all the deets of how you met the lucky lady over the phone later. But yeah, I think I need to leave..."

"Y/n wait are you sure you don't just need to eat or take a break outside for a minute? I was looking forward to seeing you and I don't want you to leave. Maybe I could come back with you to yours instead I-"

Suddenly, without thinking, your voice became sharp and you looked at him sternly, "No! No James, please. Don't take me home, it's fine really. I'll be fine."

And you headed for the door, essentially storming off like a petulant child. You instantly started to regret your attitude at that moment, but it was too late now so you just had to turn away and leave.

Or at least you tried to leave, but it appeared James wasn't having it as you got to the door and he stopped you in your tracks. It would appear that a row was about to form, with anger splashed across your best friend's face. He rarely ever looked at you like this, but it had to happen occasionally. Fighting on the busy streets outside a cafe was not what you had planned for today.

He had grabbed your arm and was frowning, looking at you confused and annoyed.

"What the hell Y/n? Why did you snap at me like that? I was opening up to you about something really important to me and you just try to storm off and feed me bullshit about feeling ill? Tell me what's the problem now. I am not letting you go off and sulk..."

You groaned and looked away from him. Why couldn't you just be a decent friend and be happy for him? Why couldn't you just lie properly instead of wearing your damn feelings on your sleeve?

You crossed your arms and tried to explain it, trying to come up with something plausible.

"Look fine you’re right, that was shitty of me I know. I didn't give you a fair warning. But I guess it just really shocked me, you saying you met someone. Took me off guard I suppose," you still couldn't quite look him in the eye.

"I get that Y/n but you're my best mate. You're supposed to be straight with me. I mean you usually are! But I guess it wasn't fair of me either to spring this on you like that. I finally met someone and I just wanted to share my excitement with my favourite person in the whole wide world..." He started getting a little fidgety, you knowing he wasn't one for expressing admiration or being open about feelings. This was just all around uncomfortable for both of you.

And then you felt really bad. You looked at him with pure remorse and started to apologise while fiddling with your hair, "Shit James I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have reacted this way, period. It was really wrong of me. I am absolutely ready… to hear all and share your happiness with you," your teeth almost gritted with those final words. Some part of you wondered if he could tell that you still weren't being totally genuine.

He squinted his eyes and pointed his finger at you somewhat accusingly, "Hmmmm... there's something off. What are you hiding from me, hmm?"

You looked up at the sky and sighed heavily, praying for a flying saucer to grab you in that moment and take you to a distant land far away from here. But alas, no such luck.

You decided you had to be at least a bit more truthful. How you were going to word it though was tricky.

"OK ok James, you caught me. I guess, perhaps I am a little pissed that you didn't tell me that you were dating someone at least. I mean, how long have you waited to tell me? Why were you keeping it for so long?" You almost felt a bit smug for turning the tables on him. You also felt like such a prick too.

He nodded, accepting your answer and responded accordingly, "Ok yes, that's a fair point. But now you're giving me a chance to explain... I didn't want to tell you until I knew it was a bit more, well... serious. I didn't want to get excited before it was even anything real, you know? Her name is Clara, by the way."

Hmm, Clara. Sounds like someone he would date. Probably long legged, skinny and beautiful too. Your voice in your head sounded so pathetic. You hated feeling jealous. You didn't expect to be so overwhelmed by it.

"Clara, eh? She better be the real deal. She better not break your heart, otherwise I will find her house and kill her. You know that, right?"

James then laughed and his face softened, looking relieved that you weren't fighting anymore.

"James. I'm dead serious here. I will fucking murder her-"

He continued laughing and put his arm around you, dismissing your supposedly empty threat. Both of you started to stroll down the street to wherever it would go.

But you knew that despite appearances, you would do anything for this man - including attacking a woman who might cause him any sort of harm. And you insisted to yourself internally that Clara better step up to the plate. They had to be fucking dynamite; because the man you loved ought to match up as his equal of being the best person alive. Even if you knew that wasn't you.

To think, you were almost going to tell him how you felt that day.

He then looked at you dead in the eye, grabbed your hand and said with such sincerity and with those glittering, beautiful eyes, "Don't think this means that you won't be less important to me, Y/n. I don't want to become one of those people who becomes all consumed by their relationship. Clara will have to understand that I'll still make time for you. Especially when you need it."

You wanted to believe it but you knew that life doesn't work that way so you smiled sadly, almost a tear forming and shook your head, not expecting anything like that.

"No James, don't make promises like that. If Clara is really the right person for you, you prioritise that. You can't be closer to me than your potential future wife, or whatever. She could bear children for you, I can't do that."

You noticed a chord struck in James as you said that and he faltered, gently letting go of your hand. The penny had dropped. You knew your words must have really sunk in. You watched as he turned away from you, despite knowing his reluctance.

But just as quickly he turned back to you and with desperation, "Y/n, really. I don't want to lose you. You still can be just as important-"

You stopped him and put a finger on his lips. You then smiled genuinely at him, fighting every urge to kiss him then, knowing how amazing he was to even be so considerate to your feelings in that moment. You couldn't believe you hadn't started sobbing yet.

"You don't need to say anything James. Please. We are friends. We are nothing more..."

But he frowned at that, looking at you with sadness. And you didn't know why. Perhaps a fleeting moment? A slither of hope that could so easily be taken away? What was he thinking then?

He scratched his head and continued to frown, even though he still kept his eyes on you. In fact, you swore for a second that he looked down at your lips(??), but again must have been going mad. It was a strange day after all.

He then spoke so quietly, his voice practically whispering, "Yeah... friends. I guess that's better than not having you at all..."

And then you frowned at him, realising that you both were standing so awfully close to each other, his body just millimetres from touching yours. And you could feel that sickness again, but for a different reason. What the fuck did he mean by that?

And you wanted to ask him but instead you're frozen in time, his hand reaching out to cup your cheek. You look up at him in a complete standstill, slightly gasping at the feel of his touch and you squeezed your eyes shut.

You then felt his lips touch your forehead and you opened your eyes to see him, his lips parted as he lifted his head back away from you. But soon you found yourself capturing his lips just that once, so gently and fleetingly. A quick peck. You couldn’t resist it.

He was surprised, quite rightly, his eyes darting around you and beginning to realise what had just happened. He pulled back and it honestly felt like a chain yanking at your heart. The waves were sinking you to the bottom.

You wondered if you might have to give up on your friendship with James to save yourself the worst heartache to come.

Note: OKAAYY I'M SORRY I DIDNT KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME but somehow this became an unrequited drabble??? It was jsug improvised honestly like I just could imagine this happening and now I feel bad because the reader doesn't get a happy ending and I don't normally write angsty stuff like this but yeah here we are though I guess?? Please don't hate me!!

It's just drabble honestly. I think I wrote it OK? Let me know what you guys think! This is also just FYI nothing to do with Stumbled Into Laughter, Stumbled Into You so don't panic about that.

Peace x

P.s And noooo of course not, not me at all posting a fic on a Sunday night at nearly 1am in the morning - pfft, what am I like?

#james acaster #james acaster x reader #james acaster fanfic #must write more

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