#my pre covid self yknow

[anouri]

latern and frost!!💗

< 3 (ask game!)

lantern - how did you meet your best friend? What were your first impressions of each other?

i'm annoying and have multiple best friends lol. one i met in 3rd grade, we were in the same class! and the others i met in orientation at university. (we got stuck in an elevator together, too lmao) for the 3rd grade best friend i remember that i thought she was really good at art, we would spend all of recess drawing or reading together. for my college best friends (3 of them) i remember not immediately trusting/feeling comfortable with one of them (he is a cis man and identified as straight at the time, yknow how it is lmao), thinking one was absolutely hilarious, and thinking the other was really quiet but nice. and in that order, i know that the first one said that he was scared to be alone with me and found me intimidating at first because i was so reserved (LMAO), the second told me that she thought i seemed quiet and liked to talk about the dogs i had (LMAO part 2), and the third we immediately decided we were each other's 'bros' (ironically).

frost - if you could give some advice to your younger self, what would you say?

really relish in pre-covid life. please. go to more parties, don't hold back because you'll be able to go out when you're 21, because surprise!!! you won't be able to go out when you're 21, and you'll miss your friends loads, so spend as much time with them as possible before the world goes to shit. also don't spend years stressing about coming out to your parents, just do it bc they'll pretend it didn't happen. save yourself the stress, don't care what they say, only care about your supportive brother and sister, and try to go live your life despite their opinions. (this is also advice to my current self. trying to not give a shit is hard.)

(i wish i had something more poignant but honestly i'm still bumbling through life completely lost so i don't have real advice for myself. have i learned anything?)

[prophecyofgray]

u ever hang out with a friend you've known for ~10 yrs and have the audacity to be shocked by how well they Know you..... my friend and i have been hanging out regularly this summer for the first time since pre-covid but even so she just truly understands me in ways that literally no one else does and it is shaking me to my core. she said something to me that was like "yknow audie all of ur previous romantic partners have been too self-righteous. they all had a way of making you feel stupid or wrong whether they meant to or not. u need someone who appreciates u more. not someone who will coddle u, but someone who will take care of u." and like. What the fuck. Who gave you the right to know me like that. (on a more honest note it was very lovely to be known like that. but also WHAT THE FUCK!)

[dreamertrilogys]

i literally hung out with my friends just today but. i miss my friends

[blxetsi]

HIIIII!! can i get a pieck finger dating headcanons if that’s alright with you of course? your stuff makes me soft, stay safe!

yuh ‼️ tysm for your request

pieck finger dating headcanons (modern au)

pieck finger x gn!reader

warnings: literal fluff, no angst or anything i love pieck

- bc pieck is assumed to be like 23-26 this wont be a uni au or anything

- idk i rlly think you guys wouldve met in a mundane way

- like you bump into her on the sidewalk and try to the really awkward "oh im so sorry i didnt see you there- no really it was my fault- are you sure youre okay ?- okay great- no im not hurt- yeah- okay have a good day and again im so sorry !!" thing with her

- and then maybe you guys see each other again at a coffee place, youre there with your friends and shes there with hers, and you dont wanna talk to her obv bc that would be awkward

- then ur friend makes u go and order another coffee for them, and while youre waiting for your order pieck comes and stands beside you

- and shes very observant yknow ?? if she sees a face its very hard for her to forget it

- so she immediately recognizes you and blurts out "its you !"

- and you have to be like "oh yeah ! it is me ! its you too"

- she finds it quite cute and giggles about it

- a very laidback person but also a very blunt person

- she doesnt find any harm in asking "can i get your instagram @" look she doesnt wanna be a creep and ask for ur number right at the start

- and it gives her a chance to find out what kind of person you are

- it would absolutely suck for her if such a cute face was posting fishing pictures and alt right propaganda yknow ??

- so you two do and then both of your orders come so you two give awkward goodbyes before going back to your groups

- her instagram is very pretty, nice themes

- she posted a couple of hours ago, with her and her friends in a park, taking a couple of posed photos while some looking like they were natural

- shes adorable and you cant help but feel your cheeks go warm as you basically stalk her page

- she dms you and says "are you too busy looking at my feed that you havent followed me yet ?" and you see this mf staring at you across the room like 👁️👁️

- okay nosy lets calm down now 🙄🤚

- you try to defend urself but ur typing so quick you keep making errors in your writing, she ends up saying something else

"you know, i was doing the exact same thing. youre beautiful you know"

- thank you pieck 🥰

- over the next couple of weeks thats how you two communicate. she'll send you instagram memes and edits of her favourite shows, movies, games etc. and you find yourself having a lot in common w her

- you check her story so frequently it becomes one of the first accounts on the top of your homepage

- and FINALLY, when she feels she can see you as a friend and not just some pretty stranger she met on the street she asks you out

- it was a simple thing, just to the movies, and she even let you pick which one !! (imagine its pre covid idfk)

- you two go and its an awkward hug before you both head inside

- you pay for your tickets and she gets an extra large popcorn and a drink

- you assume shes just v hungry but before you can order yourself something shes like "what are you doing i got this for us !!"

- rlly cute bitch omfg

- during the movies, after she eats literally most of the fucking popcorn, she pulls your hand out of your lap and holds it with her buttery one 🥰🤚

- this bitch had crumbs and didnt even think to wipe them off

- you still held her hand tho anyways

- after that night you parted ways in front of the theater after making sure you two would be getting home safe

- and that became routine for a couple of weeks, not going to the movies obviously bc thats expensive but watching movies together !! youd go over to her apartment or she would come over to yours

- one thing about pieck is that shes very touchy

- one way or another she will end up cuddled with you on the couch

- it doesnt matter if its you being forcefully pulled on top of her body or her draping herself over you like shes a blanket, you two WILL be cuddling and you WILL enjoy it

- but finally, as if the gods gave you mercy, she finally kissed you

- it felt so nice, her lips were soft and sticky from her lip gloss and she tasted like the swedish berries you had gotten for her to munch on

- and the rest of the movie you two just sat there, kissing each other and giggling like teens

- she ended up staying the night, and complimented your bedsheets

- your relationship moved pretty fast after that

- she had already told all of her friends about you, they werent very surprised

- when you got officially introduced her friends zeke and porco tried to do that whole "if you hurt her.." speech before she slapped them and had marcel pull you away to safety

- other than that the night was very fun, you got to talking about your career, why you moved to the city, and other mundane topics

- pieck is actually a graphic designer, and everytime she comes to sleep over she just HAS to bring her laptop with her

- its basically just her laying in between your legs while she types away, youll pet her hair and lay soft kisses on her neck, and occasionally ask what shes doing

- she likes to tell you, has no problem in answering the questions you have, even if you think theyre stupid ones, shes very soft with you

- also a bit of a trickster

- for your first april fools together she slept over, you didnt have anything planned for her bc youre a good person and wont hurt the ones you love

- she stuffed your breakfast muffin with mustard 😁👍

- you gave her the cold shoulder for the rest of the day until she apologized by getting you a new muffin

- now she always dropped the l bomb to you, but she never needed you to say it

- thats why, when you were helping her cook dinner at her place you softly said "see ? and thats why i love you" she kind of,,, stopped what she was doing

- you realized why she wasnt washing the knife she used to cut your vegetables and tried to backtrack, but it was too late, she was already tackling you into a hug and taking you down onto the floor

- she just gave you kisses while repeating "i love you i love you i love you" over and over again

- bc of her you burnt ur fucking chicken smh

- you spent that night eating junk food and watching movies

- piecks a very observant person, so she always knows when youre sad too

- when you give that little huff when you come home to your (new !) shared apartment she knows something is up

- she'll slowly trail behind you as you walk to your bedroom, stripping to your underwear and changing into your pajamas

- you crawl into bed just wanting a nap to forget about the day, and she'll crawl in with you and hold you

- you never like to cry but youre so frustrated and upset at your coworkers, at that rude customer, at those deadlines, that you just breakdown

- and she lets you, she lets you almost suffocate yourself in her chest with how much your pushing your head into it, she strokes your hair while you choke on your own cries and hands you tissues when you need to blow your nose

- "what do you need my love ?" "i just need you" "okay baby"

- communication is a big thing in the relationship, and because shes been so open and honest from the beginning, talking about how you feel has never been easier

- in fact, you like talking about how you feel about your relationship, or how you didnt like what pieck said to your friends the other day, this and that, you feel comfortable and safe with pieck no matter what, which makes talking about even the most hardest things seem so simple and natural

- all in all, even when she wakes you up with spontaneous ice cream dates or asks that you put raisins in the popcorn during movie night, even with the fights and the crying and the exhaustion the next day, life would be much duller without her, and you only have to thank your clumsy self

uhh i feel like this is very short but yeah ❤️ requests are open so go crazy mfs ‼️

[non-binary-laurie-strode]

grey, claret, rose

grey: how many languages do you speak? do you want to learn any more?

I have only ever formally studied English and French, so those are the only two that count in my eyes. I've of course dabbled in a nice handful of others (to varying degrees) because I shall always be a language nerd, but I would never claim to be at all fluent in those that I've self-studied. If I had the attention and energy, I would love to know so many more! But yknow.

claret: do you play an instrument? do you want to learn to play any?

No, I don't! My arts classes were in, like, the painting/drawing kind and in theatre. I don't think I've taken a genuine music class since like 8th grade. I have a vague desire to learn something, but it's just vague for now.

rose: favourite scent on a person?

Fear.

I... tend not to notice scents :/ My sense of smell has never been great (and this is pre-covid, for the record), so if a person smells like something, it must be pretty strong.

[celestial-bastard]

Maize and cider!!

hi tysm for asking!!! i hope ur well 💕 i apologise in advance for how long this is lol

maize; the weirdest encounter i’ve had with a stranger on the street.

i’ll set the scene.

pre-covid, i went to a young woman’s apartment, a friend of a friend, to meet her cats. i do the occasional pet sitting job when i have the time bc apprenticeship wage is not where it’s at. i wear my crescent moon necklace and my wire wrapped crystal necklace. i meet her, she’s lovely, and it’s all fine and organised but deary me did that experience (meeting a stranger, going to their house alone) turn me into an anxious mess. as a reward for facing my anxieties, i decide to go to lush. buy myself a bath bomb as a little treat. on my way to lush, a small purple-haired & middle aged lady stops me in the street. “hi, sorry to bother you but i saw your necklaces. yknow we're the same, you and me. i can tell, you're in touch with your divine femininity just like i am.’ now, i’m a witch. quite beginner, mostly theory. i don’t know why she was so confident, but i couldn't say that she’s wrong. she goes on for a little while about her journey BEING SO FUCKING VAGUE and i was still my anxious little self, towering over her in my platform boots and not really being able to decipher what she is talking about. after about 10 minutes of trying to be polite, i find out that she has a business for leading mindfulness sessions for very high prices. she gave me her card, and i followed her on instagram. anyways, she attended that shite-fest anti-mask protest in london a few months ago, posting pictures on instagram with a caption expressing how fed up she is with this ‘government hoax’. i’ve blocked her now.

cider; a food i hated as a child but enjoy now… there are so many!! i was awfully fussy as a kid. pizza. cauliflower. dark chocolate. bananas. oranges. to name a few lol

[fxck-this-man]

To many people, Xanda is just a nickname, to me it isn't, I just have to respect that. To some people, it's a pet name, like if they want me to do something and they want me to say yes, then they'll call me Xanda (fuck you Samuel btw ((bruh doesn't even recognize or acknowledge that i almost always called him samuel when i was talking to him)damn triple parentheses) for doing nothing but taking full advantage of that, especially when it comes to nic, i've made these two pods last me like a while, and im just supposed to say yes whenever you're fiending) (i do the same fucking shit when it's not at my place, so i kinda get that, but i'm still gonna bitch and moan about it)

(the worst part is when people take advantage of it) i'm not a "poser", i'm just having a hard time figuring out exactly who i am, and what my interests are. I also have to respect the fact that people are literally treating me like a friggin dog, and i'm like bruh, no thanks. ( are they really assuming that i'm learning how to fake cry?) People also think that i'm using actual real life people as "characters" to portray myself, like homie, nah, that ain't how it goes. any time i've put the label of relationship with something, it's done nothing but crash and burn in the end. in my eyes, me calling something a relationship is just a way for the significant other to use me to their full advantage, and then toss me away when they're done. like bruh that shits fuckin scary as hell, i'm not willingly going to put myself in that position again, like ever. i also understand it's my responsibility to not do that myself, that's a not good thing to do. Id rather be full of myself and self aware than actually listen to the things people say about me, or whatever it is i'm assuming or whatever the fuck i'm doing. i know people are talking mad shit about me behind my back. that's the worst part. i'm not going to bother anyone or reach out if i assume you have this negative perception of me, why would i waste my time trying to do that? i have nothing to prove, at the very least. The Hoe Phase is over, and i'm not even like "actively " tryin to find "bitches", I idolize the Goons, but writing about them all the time is probably not a good thing, that's what being "obsessive " means. The "Art Wall" wasn't just my art, it was art from old friends too, like "pre-COVID" friends there's personal things i don't want people to know, and now it feels like it's all out in the open for everyone to pry and make fun of. now there's background info i didn't want people knowing that i am absolutely both paranoid and terrified everyone knows the worst part is i'm not getting any clarification about it. Fuck "Bub", the gaslighting whore. But also, the entire interaction between us and Bub helped with the "Season Finale" of "The Hoe Phase", so at the very least that helped out a little bit. i'm not gonna let a group of people (don't worry, not The Goons) who think they know better gaslight me and manipulate me into doing their bidding. that's just FUCKED! LIKE THE FACT THAT IM SUPPOSED TO DO NOTHING AND JUST LET IT HAPPEN DRIVES ME ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NUTS! ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY DONT EVEN GIVE ME THE ROOM OR TIME TO EVEN THINK ON MY OWN, LIKE WTF, SLOW THE FUCK DOWN WITH THE QUESTIONS AND JUST GIVE ME TIME TO THINK Actually moving on is not something i am able to do very confidently. amaya was hard enough as is, and she's like my first proper relationship, maggie was difficult too, i'm too clingy, and at this moment, Leah is even harder to move on from. she was gonna break shit off because of the distance, and she told me goodbye. and that was a genuine real goodbye, yknow? that was the goodbye that was needed for us to have that extra push to stop doing "the hoe phase". if she was really hurt that way, then yeah, i really don't need to try to be in relationships.

(it was a stupid longboard anyways)

[ts-akhmim]

Episode 1 | Part. 1 “Can I Kick the Tomb?”- Kendall

Me before Day 1 of Hosts: “I really am excited to be back and playing my official last season of Tumblr Survivor (and ORG) ever.” *40 SEASONS LATER*

https://66.media.tumblr.com/9abe7e9a250f88588980b89fdbc5bd6f/tumblr_pj4lahOlsg1s34uqa_400.gifv

I’m back for another shot and I’m thrilled to see where this goes! It’s been three years since I last played an ORG so I can’t wait to see how much Tumblr Survivor has changed. And who knows, maybe I’ll be lucky this time around. The main thing I’m looking to accomplish this time around is that I have fun! I feel like I took my previous seasons way too seriously (what can I say, I’m competitive) and I feel like that clouded my judgement. I mean, I’d like to win too!! But I want to be able to enjoy myself and make friendships that last a long time outside of this game. Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, I am currently at home as an unemployed college graduate. So, I feel like this is the perfect time for me to get back into the Tumblr Survivor community and get another shot at an ORG before my life gets busy again. In the past, ORGs have really conflicted with my work/life structure. That’s mainly why I said I’d never do orgs again, because I hated having internal mental breakdowns in public. I didn’t think I’d give it another go around, but now that I don’t have work/school to focus on. And since I have no idea how long this pandemic will last, might as well find ways to occupy my time through ORGs. I feel like I have done almost everything one can do on Tumblr Survivor… except win. Here is a quick summary of the games I played previously to help me reflect on what I can improve upon this time around. First time around, I was a mid-merge boot in Maluku after I was exposed for flipping on the fans and lost everyone’s trust. In Newfoundland, I was sapphire idoled out as an early merge boot for being in charge of the dominant alliance. In Ancient Greece, I was a 4th place robbed goddess after literally controlling the whole game and cut loose by my alliance right before FTC. And in Hosts, I flipped on my OG alliance after finding out people in the alliance wanted me out and got runner-up. So I hope that I can change things around this season and HOPEFULLY win (I’ll cry if I’m a pre-merge boot). My strategy going into this game is just to get to know people on a human level and allow them to think I’m someone who will follow commands/take orders. I don’t want to be the person deciding who goes home, but I want people to feel comfortable talking their every game move with me. Perception is key for this game, so if my allies think they can drag me to the end I’m going to let them think that. I’m hoping with that perception, I can be a subtle move maker this season. Almost as if no one sees me coming for them. I find that my fault in previous seasons is that I either put myself in the leadership role, or I’m too far in the bottom that I’m criticized for all decisions I make. I’m hoping that I have trust for those who are in the alliance within the alliance so that we can eventually overthrow whoever the person in charge is. For now, I just want to socialize and get to know people and hope that by increasing the social game the strategy will all fall into place. One thing that does scare me going into this season is possible pre-existing relationships. I’ve been out of Tumblr Survivor for the past three years and honestly have no idea what happened in previous seasons. I also don’t really keep up with anyone in the community either, so I’m going in with almost zero connections. This could be a good thing or a bad thing. The good thing is that it allows me to form genuine relationships with them, and I can ensure to my alliance that I’m 100% loyal to them going forward. Numbers are important, so if my tribe sees me as a number it would indicate. The bad thing is that if people know each other, then they could easily get me out if they choose to do so. Especially if they know my reputation as a “flipper” and think I won’t be trustworthy going into a merge/endgame. So I’m hoping that if I have a strong presence on night 1 that I can be included in the alliances and get my way into the majority. Because the last thing I’d want is to be Ethan Zohn’d out of the game. Waiting all this time just to be pre merge would be TRAGIC. Overall, I’ve grown over the past three years and I hope that I can reflect that onto this season. Since I last played an ORG, I came out to everyone through social media and I’ve been able to increase my self-confidence. Last time I played I just finished my freshmen year of college. Now, I’m graduating and going to attend graduate school to get my masters degree. I feel like I’ve grown and matured as a person, so I’m going into this season almost as a completely different person. There’s no holding myself back from anyone and I know that at the end of the day, I’m just here to have fun. So I’m ready for this big adventure that’s ahead of me, because I’m hoping to finish my last ORG (forreal) on a high note!

okay so the season hasn't even started yet and in a shock to nobody i'm already cracked out of my mind? i have fully been spiralling and researching who could possibly also be in the cast based on their avatars? i'm not gonna embarrass myself and put who i have predicted because whenever i put that in a confessional im always wrong without fail? anyway so thought i'd put what my plan is here SO when i completely do not follow this i can look back at myself for being a clown? BUT anyway this season coming back as a winner is very, very scary. it looks like i am going to be the only winner on my tribe, and one of only three winners in the entire game which is very very scary. also last season i was able to kind of operate from a position of being super underestimated? like nobody had eyes on me and that allowed me to get away with murder, and this season i need to play with a consistent awareness that people will... know what shenanigans i'm pulling and always will be tentative to let me play unrestricted. also i am so happy about being on the brawn tribe - that is SUCH a good landing spot for me. i would hate to be a winner put on a tribe for social ability (beauty), or strategic ability (brain)... it also means hopefully i could be in a tribe with less social people who are just challenge beasts, so as long as i am pulling my weight in challenges hopefully can wriggle my way in? the avatars on my tribe are real hard to place, two are not players i even recognise and from looking at the wiki - my only guess is someone called jake from generations is na'onka? just because he is also on the record page for immunity wins... so we will see? i'm just very very worried that i'm going to become alienated for being a former winner but i really. really hope that's not the case! in general... my aim is to just make jury, there are gonna be like no winners in this cast and there are going to be such eyes on me accordingly, so i need to play much more round by round, with a survival mentality? this season is gonna be a disaster for me but we will see how it goes NNNN.

I’m back… somehow! It’s kinda crazy how this is my sixth season of Tumblr Survivor (and my first TS game in like almost two years) but I was just wanting to play. I’ve done just about everything you can do in TS (leave premerge, participate in a Redemption Island duel, be a tribe swap captain, win individual immunity, have an idol, have a double vote, go home with an advantage, be the last person from your original tribe, leave in a rock draw, negate votes with an idol, and make it to the end)... except win, I haven’t quite been able to do that just yet! However, that is all gonna change in Akhmim and I’m sending that in stone. (watch me be a clown and leave first gfbndms). I don’t know, I just really want to prove myself as a capable player yknow? Ultimately, I’m here to look cute, chew bubblegum and kick ass. (‘:

Oh my god, synapses are firing all throughout my brain right now. I didn't prepare myself well enough for this season, but...I have friends here! LMAO! Jordan and Liam L are two people I know very well, I've seen Jakey around on FB, and I've spotted Ali on Discord! I'm hoping I can just integrate myself well enough cause there's a lot happening for me right now...

So I’m on Hathor which is the Beauty Tribe which… does not surprise me at all really? Not saying that I’m pretty or anything but I got 2 brain cells and suck at challenges so being a Beauty was my only option oop. That being said, looking at my Tumblr Survivor ~career~, I’ve only gotten 7 votes (only 5 that count) in the last 3 seasons that I played where I got 6th, 12th, and 2nd place SO that must mean I’m doing something right to be in people’s good graces? With that in mind, I want to be the Belle of the Ball and be the cutest beauty here so people wanna love me, protect me, and work with me <3

Jess, 6:51 PM Unfortunately, you have not entered the Tomb.. 6:52 PM Can I kick the Tomb? Alyssa, 6:52 PM you can 6:52 PM I kick the tomb Alyssa, 6:52 PM Unfortunately you have not entered the tomb

oh gorl. i cant believe it ladies and gays we're BACK BACK BACK AGAIN.... thanks coronavirus for completely putting my life on pause making me unemployed and able to have the time to do this again? No but on a serious note who in the hell would've guessed little old me coming back out HOPEFULLY one last time, and my mission this time is quite simple. WIN ALREADY BITCH. ITS ABOUT TIME, ITS ENOUGH, WE'RE TIRED. This will officially be my third time playing tumblr survivor, so lemme try and give yall a quick recap just so everyone knows a little bit about me. My very first time playing, I was an extremely young and naive 17 year old who was COMPLETELY tripping, yet it somehow worked for me and I made it to day 39 in og egypt. However, I didnt get a damn vote so that's when I first realized maybe I got some growing to do.... Fast forward to 2 years later, i was 19, moved out of my parents house, living on my own, so a little bit of character development on my own part, and it reflected in my game so much. I was learning from my mistakes and it got to a point where...i legitimately had a shot to win!! I was being smart and strategic, but, I made one mistake that cost me everything when I was so close, top 5, not too bad. 3 years later, and here we are. I'm still living on my own, im no longer that ugly ducking baby adam but now im slowly on my path to mother goose moment! im in a place in my life where im not only physically feeling myself, but I now know who I really am. With age comes wisdom and another chance at tumblr survivor!! Being this is my 3rd time I absolutely want to go all out. I want to WIN. Im so ready, especially on a season like this, brains vs. braun vs. beauty, one of my favorite twists especially because beauty just means so much to me. Not even in like a vain way honestly, like yeah i know im a bad bitch i know im a cutie physically but to me being a beauty is being able to really have a sense of CHARM about you and being able to get whatever you want with it Looking back at my games in tumblr survivor, and in life in general, i usually get my way with the help of my big mouth. I'm absolutely not the best in the challenges, and i might not always be the one who's able to come up with a big plan, but one thing about me thats for sure is im always one to find my way in the know somehow. In both my seasons I played with a very similar approach, first i assess my tribe and everyone in the game and see how workable i feel with people, and from there on i start building relationships. It's like gardening, you find the people you connect the most with, and build from there, and the ones i dont, i simply wont waste my time with and theyll be the ones i vote out, but ultimately as long as it aint me, then oop sorry to these people not me already writing a whole book and i havent even started talking about anyone but MYSELF YET DSFFHJKAFH.....im so sorry @hosts pls forgive me i warned yall i go on and on but ANYWHO ill try to wrap this up. Basically, im in love with my tribe right now, ive obviously talked to everyone and been having really good conversations with Augusto and Kendall. I really like them and could definitely see myself aligning with them. But aside from them I was honestly GAGGED AND GOOPED to see some familiar faces even on this TRIBE. AMIR is someone who i know from way back when in my tumblr candicestewart days when i was raising hell, we were mutuals but havent spoken since so years really, however in a game like this you can take the tiniest bit of association and use it as a groundwork for trust, so stay tuned for that...also AJ?????? me and him have spoken every now and then through various communities we fall into so thats another interesting dynamic, im not sure how anyone feels about me but im hoping they just like me enough not to be the first boot... Also im really glad there doesnt seem to be a lot of juggernaut type players here, my last season was challengers vs. champions so there was a LOT going on with 10 winners and 10 challenger, but speaking of that season i almost forgot to mention JAKE???? JAKE IS BACK TOO???? this.....could be really bad for me. For those who dont know, in cvc, me/jake/jessy had an iconic alliance because of our ~herstory together which stems back to us all being 14/15, and yeah i worked with them for as long as i could, but jake basically ran a cult on challengers vs champions which obviously i wasnt a target as long as i had them as shields by my side so we worked well together, until final 6 that is when i made my move and my vote was the reason jake went home. My whole season people kept saying adam just wants to sleep and play their game, when the truth was, im no dummy, i always knew id have to turn on them, it was just about waiting for the right moment and thats what i did, and if i could go back, id do it again! However, this is a completely new game so to me its a do over, i hope he doesnt have any baggage against me but i guess we'll just have to wait and see if we ever make it on the same tribe even, but i know he's just as good as me so i think we'll see each other again real soon.. this is my 3rd time playing, ive had a good cirie run but i do NOT want to be hvv'd cirie'd whatsoever. and thats kinda my fear coming back, I wanna be able to keep playing lowkey and having people underestimate me for as long as i possibly can, because guess what thats what works every time, these people are such fools they fall for it over and over again! they absolutely should beware of me because im here, and im in it, and i will absolutely lie cheat etc to just about anyone if it means getting me farther. ive got plenty of friends, im here for my virtual crown anywho. first book over with. i swear this was only so long because i was taking about myself too much, wont be as bad next time! well lemme not be delusional i do love talking about myself but xoxo thats it for now time to go back to having conversations and praying if we lose this challenge im not first boot

also getting to (hopefully) play with autumn again? the egyptian gods are good to me 

So I’m making my Day 1 confessional mainly so that I hit the 500-word requirement for the first challenge. Tumblr Survivor is different than when I last played 3 years ago. I hope I don’t come across as doing TOO MUCH but I’ve already started on the challenge and I’m trying to spend the first few days socializing and getting to know people. My goal is to have people come to me with alliances because it shows to me that they want to work with me. If I lay the foundation for the alliances, then I get the image that I’m running things. And I want other people to fill those shoes so that I can play an under the radar game. I feel like this is a group of people that I can stick with long term. I have a reputation for being a flipper, so I’m hoping that I can show to the Brains tribe that I plan to be loyal to these people long term in this game. But I also hope that I’m never put in a position where people want me to flip. Anyways, here’s my Day 1 analysis of my tribe: Trace – We played in Maluku together 6 years ago and I flipped on the fans the first tribal to vote him out. Granted, he got his revenge by making me the first boot of a versus side season, I hope he doesn’t try to seek vengeance now. So far I feel like we’re gonna be civil with one another. We talked about him and his boyfriend Matt, how he got a new dog just 3 days before quarantine, and how he recently moved to San Jose California. To me, it makes me think things are pretty civil between us. I could see Trace being a future leader of this tribe, so I hope that he goes about taking that role and makes the first move against people so I can work alongside him. Isaac – My history with Isaac is that I hosted Malaysia, and I feel like we’re on good terms. Which is nice because I don’t have to do the small talk with him and can just go right into the strategy. Sadly I don’t know him too well since he was voted out Day 6, but I felt bad that he was an early boot. The age difference between him and the other contestants played a role in it :/. But right now we’re hitting the ground running with things. We’re talking about my dog at the moment (which I intentionally changed my profile pic to her so that people would use it as conversation starters – we love strategic thinking!) Devon – I like Devon, but at the same time, I also see right through him. Devon’s trying to play a UTR game. I respect that, however, I’m trying to play a UTR game too. We had a brief call to solidify our allegiance to each other. He told me how he was loyal to Alyssa and Jess and they screwed him over big time during Guyana. So I’m seeing that he already has a plan to make sure that doesn’t happen. I want to keep him around because I could see the two of us being a dynamic duo going forward, similarly to Me/Matt in Maluku or Me/Andrew in Hosts. I need to make sure someone else calls the shots and brings me/devon in so we can plot against getting them out. Also, he’s really attractive and it saddens me that he’s straight so I now have to work on that. Autumn – a QUEEN!!! I love her! She’s iconic, she’s a legend, she’s never the same, she’s talented, she’s EVERYTHING! Considering that she’s one of 3 females on this cast, I hope that she and I can be the iconic male/female duo that I have every time I play. Similarly to Me/Maria in Maluku, Me/Lizard in Newfoundland, Me/Gerda in Ancient Greece, & Me/Jessy in Hosts. Right now we’re bonding over graduate school and the severity of the pandemic, so I hope that we can work together long term in the game because I love her. I also have to be careful with her because she’s won before. Duncan – I like Duncan so far too. We’ve played an org season together before I took my 3-year hiatus, but I don’t remember which one. And neither does he LOL. But so far we’ve just talked about psychology since we have a lot of respect for that field and how survivor is a huge social experiment. I’m hoping that he doesn’t see me as a major threat because of our intellectual talk. I like him so far, so hopefully, we can work together going forward. We’ve also talked about the types of dogs we both have and what we’ve been up to with our lives, which I like being able to get to know everyone. Bodhi – I messaged him saying “hi” and he ignored me, so I am comfortable with him being the first boot. However, I will need to have other people go and say they want him out so I can be like “cool let’s do it”. Maybe this will change tomorrow, we’ll see. But that’s where I’m at right now. Overall, I think I have a good fitting with the group. I don’t like that no one’s made an alliance chat yet, but I think my conversation with Devon confirms that I have allies going forward. Plus it's also Day 1, so no one wants to make that type of move yet. I’m hoping that by sticking with the social game for now that I can get people to like me and include me in alliances that they have. For now, I’m just gonna keep talking about my dog until that happens 😊

hey guys its me, again. I know i said I was done going on and on but now i have some tea! the tea is: IM PISSED. last time i played in challengers vs. champions i made it my prerogative to be the first one to find the hidden immunity idol, and so guess what for the last 4 1/2 hours ive been DECIPHERING and trying to figure out how to get it, first i spent 2 hours learning heiroglyphyics because my dumbass really thought it was hidden in plain sight right on our logo! until i realized it made no sense at all, but hey, good to know ill be able to find my way through an egyptian pyramid now if i ever need to! So i kept digging, a little deeper until i seen these little numbers on the blog under all the cast reveals, this was what told me i had just wasted my time with the heiroglyphs but that i was onto an actual lead now, so upon doing that, i was messaging both aj and amir discussing my theories with them because i figured if i didnt find it, i wouldnt mind them finding it....but i definitely just want it for myself first because cmon this is survivor and we havent even had any tribals yet, therefor sure ill let people THINK i trust them, but at the end of the day i only truly trust me, myself, and i. amir then helped me crack that the numbers on the blog actually spelled out the three gods names that our tribes are named after, so then about another hour goes by and i cant find NOTHING ive tried flipping the names, doing research into them, and got nowhere. until i realized, it was so simple, all i needed to do was look at MY tribes god, HATHOR, and then i took that name and coded it into numbers, which lead me to finding the idol trigger. Lemme tell yall how ecstatic I was to find it, it made all my work tonight completely worth it, or at least i thought until i tried entering the tomb and had to answer these questions to get in, and i got one wrong along the way..... I WAS SO CLOSEEEEEEEEEEE, THEN MY DUMBASS OVERTHOUGHT ONE OF THE EASIEST QUESTIONS AND BLEW IT. now i have to wait another 24 hours before trying again, which drives me crazy, i solved and cracked this puzzle within 4 hours, who's to say every other person on this tribe wont do the same? if someone finds it and gets it all right before i do, im gonna be so mad at myself but hey at least i tried, im gonna give myself kudos for figuring that shit out it was not easy!!! and i at least made what i would assume would be one of the first attempts at it, so anyone else who tries yall are copying me and trust you WILL hear from my lawyers!

i am not as upset to be back as i thought i would be! i don't hate the cast and theres only one person in the game that im not excited to see and ironically, its not jordan pines. I got stuck with a bunch of mayo boys at first but then you guys blessed me by bringing autumn into the tribe. THATS MY DAUGHTER AMERICA! i literally was the one to bring her into the community and never got to play with her, i think its crazy that after such a long hiatus from us both that the quarantine gifted me the chance to play with her. Hopefully i can last longer than 1 round to enjoy it lol. Also the boys aren't that bad! They're all really pleasant and enjoyable so far and i found out Trace used to live in STL so we're bonding on that! I'm hoping i can do well but ultimately I'm enjoying this tribe for what its worth but i just can't figure out what to do to go idol hunting haha.

To start, it’s important to acknowledge how good it feels to be back in TS. I wasn’t quite too sure what kind of cast to expect, considering most members from my original season, Guyana, would likely feel uneasy with me in the game. However, it looks like TJ is the only one from Guyana representing this season, which is great news for me. Even then, TJ and I got along great after the season ended, so he doesn’t worry me in the long run. My current tribe is clearly skilled in the social game, because everyone has been active beyond belief. Right now, I would describe my closest ally as Scott. He is a clear-cut threat, but has a lot more connections than I do and could be useful to me in the early stages of the game. We called for a bit last night, and continued to be around the bush about gameplay. However, if we ever lost a challenge, I feel like he’d run with whatever plan we come up with. In terms of my LEAST closest connection, I’d go with Bodhi. He’s a nice kid, but we just don’t relate and he can come across as arrogant at times. Scott has already mentioned him as a first boot, so I’ll likely stay clear of any game talk with Bodhi for the time being unless its pushed onto my lap. My biggest blessing/curse in this game will be the fact that I’ve played FAR less times than a majority of the players. Almost gives a ‘Russell Hantz’ vibe. Far less credibility entering a new season with experienced and well known players, but also means there is less material for them to know about when it comes to my game. As long as I don’t overplay my hand and let the game talk come to me, I could set myself up PERFECTLY on the Brains tribe. Autumn has been fairly quiet, but we talked a bit about television shows, which is great common ground to build on. It would be hard to classify her as a threat right now, but I wonder how much she has been talking to others. As for Isaac, he came in late to my DMs because of his work shift. We both work within food service, so it was nice to reflect on our work shifts and ask him about his interests. I think he’s capable of being someone worth working with, but no game talk has taken place between us. If we lose an upcoming challenge, I expect for that to change rather quickly. When it comes to Duncan, I’m not sure how to read him yet. He’s oddly active, and has likely been talking to everyone for an extensive period. I’d like to say I trust him, but I’m sure others feel a similar way. It will be difficult to pinpoint him as a threat to others, but we will see how things unfold based on the challenge trend. Finally, there was Trace. We held a steady conversation for a bit, but then he disappeared. Would likely make for an “inactive” boot if he doesn’t turn around his social game early, but things happen. Based on the number of times he has played already, it would be ideal to get rid of him within the first 3-5 rounds of the game.  

Here’s my cast assessment: Brains: Scott – This guy seems awesome. He seems smart, he seems well-spoken, he seems humble. I’m really excited to meet this guy down the line. Bodhi – All I know about him is he’s supposedly a crackhead and you should be careful around strategically… not sure how I’d fit in there. Trace – I like him! Funny, sassy, he and I totally need to meet! Devon – Fucking Slithers… Isaac – I’m hoping this isn’t the Isaac I fought with in a different game because this guy seems really funny and genuine. Duncan – What is he wearing? Autumn – She seems chill. I’d like to talk to her and get to know her some more. Beauties: Austin – He seems like a good southern boy, but I imagine there’s a diabolic side to him that the intro video doesn’t show. I’m gonna watch out for him. Adam – Another funny guy. He’s got a great personality and I could see making it far, but I also see him as someone that could get to self-involved and make a mistake down the line. Kendall – Ok, she’s cute and funny. Please let her be my new Lexi (and don’t let her be like Alyssa) Augusto – Seems like a good guy, but I’m not sure how our styles would mesh just based on his introduction Connor – Is this Zwooper Connor? Because like… hell yes!!! AJ – Not sure what to say here. Not much of an intro. But he seems interesting. Amir – I’m curious to see what this guy is like. I could see him being like someone I played with my first season which would be intriguing. Brawns: Dan – I’ve been hosted by Dan. I’ve played with Dan. I think he could be a great person to work with moving forward and I’m excited to reconnect with him. Liam M – He’s a funny guy from my interactions from him. He’s been quiet, but I’d imagine he’s not that quiet. TJ – Dumbass Liam L – I love Liam. We just finished another season together, so I could see us working well together Jakey – This guy is F-U-N-N-Y! I need him around. Jordan – Is this guy full of himself? Or like… how do you name a season after yourself? Ali – I like this guy. He’s going to be a social threat as a winner, so I’m gonna let him make himself a bigger threat.

okay so this is going to be my five hundred word confessional! My cast assessment is uploading so this is going to be a bit out of order but some updates. im now in an alliance with jordan and jake so life is GOOD. I love them both and they're both kinda chaotic and super fun which is super exciting! i also cracked the idol code with dennis yesterday in my host chat! my plan is to search again in three hours when i can, hopefully snag the idol and then tell my two lovelies so i can build trust. thats the goal anyway... in other news... trace from brain thinks he is SO slick. he edited his wiki to remove the fact that him and connor are friends like sir... the fact y'all hosted together is enough for people to be worried about you, you going all FBI level redacted is so stupid? it makes it look like MORE of a thing. anyway so if i can get my way one of connor or trace (or both im not picky) would go prejury... hehehehhe hmm wowie five hundred words is a lot more than i thought.... anyway so other thoughts lemme think... i think my game plan this season is something im going to stick to of gravitating towards the big personalities and threats. like i need cover as a winner with that said im very lucky that im probably the worst winner of the three? amir is literally one of the scariest ever and im terrified of him... and autumn i love her but she is more fun and strategic than me! like me landing on brawn is also great, because i'd rather be seen as brawny than strategic or social... god i really do not know how to fill up 500 words this is so tough not enough has happened yet hmmm... maybe i update my tribe thoughts... so Jake I LOVE, he is so much fun and i think we are gonna really really vibe... im excited hehehe. Jordan Pines is a legit legend, like he is gonna be SUCH a hoot i feel it... me jordan and jakey are literally gonna blow stuff up on this tribe and beyond im MANIFESTING it. others on my tribe... TJ is lovely! he talks so formally hehe its like our conversation is a script? like its human but its slightly rehearsed and weird its odd. British Liam I really like I really wanna stick with him but I am worried for him about being an easy vote? I wanna keep him safe tbh... then other Liam is ofc close to Jordan, which btw im SO glad jordan like addressed head on with me... im kinda fine with him sticking around now at this point... dan I love too! i think at this point my priorities are sticking with jake and jordan, while also protecting liam lovelis if he becomes a target because i really like him!! liam m first boot if jordan is fine with it, otherwise TJ...

I haven't done one of these yet and honestly, I am just gonna spill a little about my tribe? I like everyone a lot so far. I hope that we can win some challenges and stay safe for a while. I really like Ali, Jordan, and Jakey so far. But also, I know them from before this. Ali and I have never played together I don't think but we have always talked about wanting to. Jakey and I go waaaay back. He is actually from the same part of NY as me. We had a rocky relationship years ago but we have both come a really long way maturity wise. Then there is Mr. Jordan Pines. We always have good intentions and want to work with one another, but we always seem to start off on track, and then identify each other as threats and kill one another. He usually out places me so I want to keep an eye on him. As for the others, I'm really just trying to remain social, make those connections, but focus on the people that I know. I hate playing like that, but honestly, it might get me farther. As far as my strategy this game, I want to be super loyal to people. That's how I played my last game and it got me 2nd place. I know that I should be striving for first, but honestly second isn't too bad lmao. I think that what was missing from my last TS game was the glamour. The jury said they missed "big moves" and "idol plays". Well honey, let's do that then! I need to come up with a plan to incorporate those things into a strong social game. I just fear that I'll be damned if I do, and damned if I don't. My fear is that I will come up short with the moves and get second again, or I'll overplay and find myself gettin somewhere between 10th and 7th. I think a way I can get around this is not bringing all the people I trust into a big group. If i'm able to divide and conquer my allies, it will show loyalty, but also strategy. As far as the idols are concerned. Who the fuck knows. I can't get into this tomb, I can't figure anything out about it. I am searching high and low on the blog and pictures trying to find the key into the tomb. I have a feeling it is one of those things where you really need to put in some work to find it. Or it's one of those, it's under your nose the whole time and Jess, Alyssa, and Drew can't believe how stupid you all are. That is more likely the true answer to this haha. I have been asking Ali and Jordan about what they think, and they have basically "come up short" I don't know if that is really true or not, I know that they are really smart players. I think the key could also be in the posts as far as the hashtags. There are some really weird hashtags on some of the posts. Maybe it's a code or something? Lemme look into that.

Soooooo first day was super exciting bc my whole tribe is new ppl which I like bc it's always good to start in a fresh type game ya know. I'm on the beauty tribe werdily so I figure I'm the tai of the season . I also saw on one of the other tribes liam from my season is here so that could be a good or bad thing just have to cross that bridge if and when needed. First person I saw and talked to on my tribe is kendell and I really like her vibe . She seems super chill and I saw she played as a hero is a past season so could be a loyal player. Amiry I actually have seen before in a mini on discord. We didn't talk much but l dis vote him to win in the end so that could be good in my favor . Aj is really nice to seems to be a lil younger then but good to chat with so far. Adam is someone in the game that i have a few things in common with which is great bc connections is exactly what I need to make right now with a game full of new ppl .connor I'm not fully sure how i feel about him yet. He seems like he could be funny but he is always a lil short when we talk and I feel maybe he could be the person to go and i would be okay with it . Augusto is def the person I have probably been talking the most with so far . He seems like he could be my person in this game . I mean things change all the time but as of now that's how I'm feeling about him . I'm so nervous being back in tumblr survivor so soon after my first season in nighingale islands. I got 4th place and if anything I wanna do better now worse . Its alot to hold myself up to but i feel i can push my self more this game and do it . I'm hoping to try and play a lil different this time around . I wanna be bolder and try to do more with myself game wise . I want to play more strategic and not care even more to get my hands dirty. People in the past have called me cutthroat and a villain so why not be the best villain I can be . Finding a idol or advantage and getting a vote at ftc is the other goals I have for myself this season . I know its early but I have a great feeling about the beauty tribe and think we are gonna do great in this game together. Well that's about 500 for the challenge . Hopefully you'll get more confessionals from me in the game . Its gonna be a crazy season . May the tumblr survivor gods be with me in this crazy ass game . Peace out girl scouts . Have a great day . Goodbye all.  

FIRST IMPRESSIONS: BEAUTY TRIBE austin: hes boring but nice and that is okay, just be who u are adam: dangerous, mariah stans dont respect old people, animals or the dead. he scares me. hes real funny tho, kendall: she is so cute, she seems very hesitant to talk to me, but I want to work with her. Shes the only girl on our tribe so like shes not gonna be targetted by a bunch of twinks so its better to be with her than against her augusto: my fav so far, Relatable sweet idk i love him i hope he gives me a chance connor: white gay twink aj: i dont feel Cast Assessment : Winners Ali: my biggest threat in this game by far, kind, can be ruthless, underestimated, he’s gotta GO but I also have to work with him ?? Idk I want to work with him but I don’t think he will want to work with me so idk how I feel about that one yet. Autumn: she is extremely likable from this one intro vid alone...girl we in danger. Want to work with her for sure. 

I want to build a relationship with every member of my tribe, but I am afraid because that could make me a target when I’m already one. Today, I will talk to everyone but not about game at all, tmmrw I will select 1 or 2 people to really trust with game stuff. The goal is to be social but not the most social person on the tribe. I need to get at least 2 or 3 of these people to feel some kind of emotional attachment to me, so I’m gonna keep it strictly personal convos for tonight. I do usually get attached to people as well but this game, being back for the third time, I can’t hesitate to cut a single person. It’s clear some of the people on this tribe are wolves in sheep’s clothing, mainly Adam and Augusto who are lovable and sweet but careful with their words. They are level 3 thinkers (shoutout to jacob). Kendall, Aj, and Connor seem to be more like level 2 thinkers. Austin seems like a level 1 thinker so I have to work with him, those are the kind of allies I need. 

Adam gave the numbers the for this thing, but I told him to use a decoder to turn it into letters. I know I’m an asshole cuz he tried to help me and gave me the clues but I am not going to tell him how to find the tomb, simply because I want it, but I wouldn’t be shocked if he figured it out

Also Amir....

So on my tribe, Kendall has played with aj, Aj has played with Kendall and and Connor, and Connor has played with aj and augusto.Kendall and Aj were never on the same tribe, so that’s not a threat. Augusto and Connor both made it far together and didn’t vote each other out so that’s gotta be something to watch out for. Kendall seems super well connected in general, I think the move is to scoop up Austin and Adam and then take out on of the other 4 but if the 4 of Kendall/Aj/Connor/Augusto end up aligning, well, good luck Charlie! So basically my issue is that I don’t trust anyone. Like everyone on this tribe is either distant or a threat, and the thing is is I HAVE TO TRUST SOMEONE so like?? If I just keep my cards close and not talk game with anyone that’s just ensuring being on the outs, but I can’t choose weather to align with the social threats or the people who I barely know anything about because they don’t wanna talk to me much (Kendall Connor Austin aj) Meeee finks the move is to align with Augusto and Adam, they’re both obviously huge threats, but risks need to be taken so I’m going to work on establishing a game relationship with both of them, I trust Adam more than Augusto, and then we can maybe maybe pull in Austin ? Okay literally no one wants to talk to me i i i i, like no one on this tribe messaged me first except augusto, but hes very hesitant about any info in general. Kendall/austin/connor all do not seem to care to try and talk to me so only 2 things are possible, they have all aligned and are planning my downfall, or people r inactive for now but idk. IDK> i do not trust ANY OF THESE HOES ONE BIT, i have to find this fat ass idol tonight i must i must Im gonna get on a call with adam tonight and try and figure some shit out but homeboy literally told me that he took out jakey in an earlier season even tho it was bad for him jsut cuz it was cool to take out a high profile player like sis what in the actual FUCK AND HES THE ONLY ONE WHO SEEMS INTERESTED IN ALIGNING WITH ME LIKE EWKFNEWKFLEWFE i have no choice but to work with this basket case, GOD WE CANNOT LOSE IMMUNITY WE CANNOTTTTTT the people from the other tribes that I would like to work with the most would be jakey and duncan and bodhi. I really wanted to work with bodhi on cutthroat and I genuinely love duncan he is a sweet heart through and through. I wanna work with jakey because he is a massive threat and has bad blood with people who are in thi game. He can also be volatile and someone I can turn into a target ahead of me if it I required 

guess who just got an IDOL HEHEEHEHE. It's Pharaoh Thoth. It's Pharaoh Thoth. I must have said that literally six hundred times in my host chat, the fact that Thoth is a tribe name was legit staring me in the FACE i'm just stupid. and then i messed up on question 9 at 5AM yesterday so i had to stay up till 5am for a second day running which was soul crushing but.... i have an IDOL. I definitely did much more work this time, compared to last time where benj carried my lifeless corpse across the idol bridge only for me to get two separate idols. dennis definitely had to like defibrillate my brain cells into shape but im proud of the work i put in. having an idol is definitely super scary because the risk of going home with one in my pocket is super super high... but.... hopefully I can use this idol to cause havoc and shake some stuff up. it also covers me for a bad tribe swap which is a situation i really see happening this season for me... it just gives me some cover and some wiggle room! im really excited overall tho... ive already snatched myself up an idol and its only day two? ive got an alliance with my two favourites on the tribe, good connections fostering with all the others on my tribe and an idol... which by the way i'm calling dennis im so excited this season is gonna be hoot... also one more time for good measure ITS PHARAOH THOTH.

Alright! I'm so very excited to be back for Tumblr Survivor Brain vs Brawn vs Beauty! So far I'm really enjoying my tribe even though I was cast as a Brain??? What's up with that?? I'm just some hippie from the swamps of Tennessee who is decent at doing long division. So I guess I'll go through my tribe and talk about them individually: Autumn seems pretty cool, I know she is a gigantic social threat so she could maybe potentially be utilized as a shield but I like her! We've been talking a lot about food and the south but that is okay. Bodhi approached me Night One offering an alliance to which I was ecstatic to take him up on! Bodhi is a very very smart and cunning player, which makes me even happier to be working with him because I think as of right now he needs me to get off of this tribe. Duncan is a wildcard in my eyes. I haven't played with Duncan since Pacific Islands and we didn't get along if I recall correctly and I seem to be having trouble creating a dialogue with him? According to other sources that seems to be a consensus. Devon is really nice and I think that Scott thinks he's attractive but that's neither here nor there. I think this is the Devon who went by Slithers in Guyana and referred to Alyssa, Dani, and Jess as females at Final Tribal Council. He seems to be EXTREMELY straight (he said when he's not slinging 'rittos at Chipotle he's playing Call of Duty or watching sports) which is okay if straight people weren't my kiss of death in these games. Scott is a really fun one! He hosted me in Malaysia and always seemed to be a sweet guy and our talks together for the past few days have kinda proved that assumption? We've gotten to know each other pretty well and I think he's a cool dude. I really also didn't wanna be the one to tell him about Amanda Lynn but I was and he joined in on the jokes like a champion! I really think my relationship with Scott could be something that carries me at least to the first swap? Trace is an enigma to me. We have played Tumblr Survivor now 3 times together (he voted me out every time) and he hosted me in Manhattan Beach and I genuinely think in these first two days we have talked more than the rest of those combined? He is a masc for masc dreamboat though but he knows that. If I have to stroke his ego to get where I need to be I genuinely have no problem doing that. I have been trying my best to get in everyone's good graces and/or at least get a dialogue going with them and it seems to have been working? The suckiest part about this tribe at the moment is that there doesn't seem to be an obvious inactive or someone we can scapegoat but here's hoping we don't lose or we lose bad enough we can put it on someone who isn't me. 

i cant believe i learned a tik tok dance. i've never even downloaded tik tok before

this is a RANT confessional it's day 2 and im already so annoyed with this DUMB BITCH...and yes i am the dumb bitch in question WHAT ABOUT IT DAY 2 AND I GO TO THE TOMB AGAIN TRYING TO GET IN, AT THIS POINT IM POUNDING ON THOSE DOORS HARDER THAN ANY JEHOVAHS WITNESS YOUVE EVER SEEN LIKE LET ME IN PLEASE!!!!! and once again, i start off good on the questions, then BOOM i just flop out of no where. story of my life. like DAMN by the time i do get in there's going to be nothing left for me but a fucking stick. But its ok, last night you know what i got cocky and i honestly mightve blown it thinking i could find it myself, so i was forced to make a VERY risky move. im a FIRM believer in loose lips sink ships and thats always one of my biggest strategies when i play survivor is to use infomation and keep as much to myself as possible so i can play my game how EYE want and make MY moves as i see fit, however.....clearly that strategy has not WORKED for me seeing as ive lost twice, so im trying this new thing, its such a crazy concept it's called asking for fucking help ! this was really hard for me to do because of my whole tribe so far im gonna be honest i feel like i have a genuine bond building with AJ, Augusto, and Amir, but i dont want to go spilling the tea on the idol to everyone, the last thing i want is everyone else figuring out and trying to get it, granted, finding it probably wasnt that hard and im just a dumb bitch so someone else most likely ALREADY has it, however, if they dont.... i decided i wanted to make a move and tell AJ about it. Me and AJ have a past connection thats pretty good so basing it on that alone i decided to share my tea with him, and honestly i LOVE augusto and amir too, however.... these people are all silent killers, they wont be fooling me. even though i want to believe theyre on my side, im gonna need a vote before i start to put trust like that into them. So until them, im putting my eggs in AJ's basket and hoping he finds something and will trust me moving forward because of it, even if he already found it himself and didnt tell me, i at least made the effort to show him i want us to be in this together, so hopefully trusting and opening up a little bit more will finally improve my game but if not i am still hoping absolutely no one finds it so i can be greedy and try again, and probably flop again tomorrow. **BREAKING NEWS ALERT: aj has just informed me he DIDNT find it, which he could be lying but i dont think he is, but only another 24 hours will tell... 

I have not written a confessional in a day, why am I like this? Anyway, y’all are about to hear EVERYTHING! We all get onto the beach and the gag is that 3 winners join the game alongside us losers (;-;) but honestly, it isn’t too bad? Like genuinely, it’s cool that the winners get to return like yay for them! Not only that, but if people believe these winners to be a threat then that’s just a shield for me so I am not mad at that whatsoever! Looking at the cast this season… I see familiar faces and I’m not sure how to feel? I know Dan who is on the Brawn Tribe (Apis) and I adore Dan as a person. That being said, I had a lot to do with his boot in Seychelles and while we were working closely together, I had to get him out. My thing about games is that if it’s a new game, it’s a new slate. However, is he gonna feel the same way? Only time will tell. On the Brain Tribe (Thoth), I have played with Isaac, Trace, and Bodhi. My relationship with Isaac is inch resting because I think he’s amazing and he has actually hosted me before… but the only thing is that we voted for each other to go in Socotra so who knows how he feels about me in that way? Trace I know because of Socotra as well and we did click socially but we just never had much of a chance to play with one another so there isn’t much to say about that. Now Bodhi…. He is the person I am the closest to out of all these people and I do not know how that will affect this game? I was the only person to stick by his side during the first round of Socotra when he went home in a revote and in a way, this was good karma because I was the only Great Lakes representative still alive after Final 21. Now will he remember my loyalty and admiration for him if we are reunited in this game? Girl, I deadass have no idea and it could go anyway… which is scary like a yikes on bikes moment right there. The only person that I know on my tribe is Connor since we played in Socotra together. We weren’t TOO aligned but the round I left, him and I made an alliance with Samantha. However, this loyalty wasn’t tested much considering I got rocked out. However, a connection is a connection so pursuing that is something I am okay with. As far as my tribe goes, I really do like everyone! I am trying to be this super approachable person that people can laugh at and laugh with yknow? So I do hope it works in my favor in the long run because currently, everyone except AJ has expressed the fact that I am one of their favorite people to talk to on this tribe so yay for that!

Alright, so the first full day is over, we're nearing the end of the first challenge, and I think that I've positioned myself at least somewhat decently? I think I've learned from past seasons that the goal of this early stage is to make sure you're about right in the middle in terms of activity, socialness (which isn't a word, but everyone is going to know what I mean by it) and challenge performances. That way, nobody has reason to get rid of you before a tribe change(whether that's because people think you aren't going to be helpful in challenges moving forward or because you're too big of a threat and can't be allowed to make the next stage of the game) and will allow me to make some connections that will help me both now and later in the game. I think I'm implementing this well at the moment. I had a nice talk with both Dan and Jakey and I think both of them will look out for me early on, specifically for this first vote. Once that trust is established from voting, I think both of those will be very fruitful for me moving forward. Same with Ali and Liam L. Both of them have been talking to me a decent bit and I like the rapport that I'm creating with both of them, but these two are going to be HUGE threats this season, I can already tell. So I think it's best I get on their good sides and allow other people to catch on to the fact that these two are going to be people who need to go whenever you get the shot (specifically though when they stop benefiting me). This first challenge absolutely sucks! I always hate these stupid scavenger hunts and will be so glad when it's over. I think I've put in a decent amount of work that will show that I'm here and want to play, but we'll have to see after the challenge is revealed how my score is really going to stack up. I really don't want to go to tribal this first round, but I could see either Jordan or Liam M. being people who could be targeted for everyone else to not be the first boot if that's the case. I think Liam specifically hasn't spent as much time socializing and I think others hopefully know how large of a presence Jordan has (I've known him for two days and I figured this out). So like, it would make sense to take one of them out early, but I reiterate that I'm quite ok not going to tribal here and just being safe. Being back for my third time means that this truly needs to be the one where I can take home this win. I admittedly don't know if there will be a fourth shot for me. I think I'm nearing the end of my ORG playing as hard of a realization as that is for me, but I know that I'm not able to commit the same way I was when I was back in high school, so I need to make the most of this time out there. I made huge mistakes in my redemption season that still haunt me to this day, so hopefully I can fix those this time around, play a strong, strategically sound game, and maybe I can surprise myself this time around.

All right 500 word confessional coming up. Time to say my thoughts on this game so far and this is a good excuse to do it. Its been 65 seasons since i've done an all returnee season which is a crazy fact I won't shut up about even though drew hates it, and I’m feeling good so far on this brawn tribe. I already have an alliance with me Ali and Jakey, and strong bonds to Dan and Liam, that leaves Lovelis and TJ my new people I'm meeting and probably people i'd target if we lost just due to the fact I don’t really know them. Out of the two I’m probably having better early convos with TJ but I don’t think thats really indicative of anything as its just been 2 days and anything can still happen. Honestly this cast is kind of a mix and match of crazy throwbacks for me like y'all got me SCOTT, y'all got me KENDALL, like I am floored and I am so excited to play with some of these people. I think my strategy for the starting tribes is to try to chill a bit and not be the centre of attention if I can manage that. Ideally I just want some easy rounds where we mostly win immunity, but if I’m honest Im gonna want to go to at least one tribal before we swap, and i don’t want to go into a swap not knowing how people are actually planning on playing, I want a chance for everyones cards to be laid out early, and then I can better understand the playing field. Okay I'm running out of things to say and I still got like 200 words to go. Alright the tomb, FUCK THE TOMB, its crazy for me that theirs an idol system I just haven't auto figured out before anyone else, its very out of character. Especially that before this game started I found the legacy advantage and left the hosts shook, like they were actually speechless the game hadn't started yet and I already have a power that was a great moment. But the tomb has still alluded me. What I know is that their are numbers on the cast reveal posts and a weird in face in the picture but I cannot out two and two together to make this work. Im hoping everyone is struggling as much as I am because I don't want any powers on the table that I do not know about. I want ideally to know where everything is even if its not in my possesion. Knowledge is power and I want all the knowledge possible to give me the best upper hand. Im cautiously optimistic on this starting tribe that I don't think people will target me early, so I think all I got to do is just secure my relationships and make sure that when this game starts getting crazy, i got enough people feeding me info so I'm in control. WHEW 500 WORDS DONE!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1CxQVVsZUxRnM6PtiAIKKX2ncbSa-2rOR/view?usp=sharing Look man I am exhausted if you want intensive strategy you have come to the wrong place

Truthfully, the biggest gag of this whole season is me being placed on the brain tribe. I obviously am brilliant, graduated from honors from a top university, etc. But like, my beauty is undeniable, no? God I hate that I wrote that but, I AM BACK! It feels good to be back on a season where like nobody seems that negative? Yet? It was really refreshing to see a couple of people that I already knew, but I honestly have a really good feeling about this brains tribe. I connected really well with everyone on the first day, and I feel like I already have a strong standing in the tribe just after a few hours. I also love that this tribe is only 7 people and not like 12 because I can actually connect with people on a closer level. That being said, another great thing about this cast is that I also have a good amount of friends on the other tribes. Connor is here. I love that for me, but I am going to have to be very strategic about how I use that friendship if our paths ever do cross because I am not going to let it get in the way of me being strategic and making moves that actually make sense for my game in the long run, not just to appease my friend. A similar thing could be said for Dan D, but he is also just like a scary good player and he’s engaged now too so I have to really work on that friendship. I am feeling somewhat good about this challenge. I have taken the time to really try and do as many of the things as I can, and all I can hope is that my tribemates do the same. I am a little nervous about some people’s scores… Autumn. We have less than 12 hours to go and she still hasn’t started. But I am hoping that some of the scores of the more active people will carry us to a win. It would be cute if I could avoid tribal for a bit, but I know I won’t be able to. Also, Isaac being here is funny. Immediately he came to me and was like, “god I hope you aren’t going to vote me out this time, AGAIN.” And I obviously would really love to work with the kid but clearly our history is a bit rocky. So my plan is just to be kind and kind of act like it didn’t happen in hopes that he too will do the same and we can actually work together as friends this time. In closing, I appreciate the opportunity to be brought back, and I really hope that I do not let any of my fans down! I am going to keep socializing, using my social skills to create lasting bonds that will hopefully save me for a couple of tribals. We will see what happens as the season progresses but for now, please wish me luck!

Okay! I am awake! I can make a functional confessional maybe! So first hour of the game I made an alliance with Austin because I have no impulse control and hey thought it would be swell. I then made an alliance 30 minutes later with Augusto and I probably would have made more alliances if Augusto didn't say "Kendall plz wait like a day," So I did wait a day... and then made 2 more alliances 24 hours later. In my defense it wasn't my turn with The Beauty Tribe's communal brain cell and it's been 7 decades since my last game. Anyway I think it worked out because now we have a power alliance and we are Bringing Sexy Back! ... Literally that is the name of our alliance. Bringing Sexy Back. I came up with it and it's like a double meaning because 1. We Sexy and 2. We back. We do not have backs though... there was a tragic accident. Anyway the Core 4 is Me, Augusto, Connor, and Amir. And we keep saying shit like final 4 final 4 but I have to determine the weakest link before it hits me in the face. I don't trust Connor which is why it's important we work together, because I have a feeling he's going to cause damage either way and it will be safer if he thinks I trust him. He has played with Augusto and has a high opinion of him, so that duo is something I am somewhat worried about. I don't know why I don't trust him, it's not a matter of dislike, if anything he's one of my favorite people to talk to on the tribe it's just there is something calculating about him. Like he's sizing us all up. Augusto and I get along pretty well. He keeps saying shit like "Queen" and "We are meant for each other" and other weird but nice things. We both live in Utah so that's pretty lit. I'd like to work with him but I'm also wary of flattery. He seems to be pretty social with the other two as well, like I mentioned before he and Connor were once on the same season together and Amir mentioned that he's the person he talks to the most. It makes me a bit suspicious as to where his loyalties lie which is sort of dumb because he's like legally allowed to talk to people but I don't want him to be their number ones. It would be inconvenient. Amir is... a mess. A likable mess but a mess. He literally told me he has been waiting for someone to ask for an alliance and that he talks the most to Augusto. He wears his thoughts on his sleeves. He seems a bit nervous to be back, like we'd perceive him as some sort of threat because he was an extra player so to speak.... I don't not yet anyway but it's probably for the best I don't say that out loud. We talked about having a spare fifth and I put Austin on the table because 1. it would be nice to have control of a spare. 2. To keep my promise to him to work together. Sadly I wasn't all that subtle about it so... probably sketched the others out even if it was only a little bit. There 400 words plus other more words. Suck it and See bitches! And by bitches I mean hosts and I guess who ever else reads this.

Ok so I have full confidence that I can reach 500 words because I talk too much as it is so here we go hahaha. My tribe is taking this challenge super seriously and while I obviously stan and enjoy having a very active and engaged tribe, I need them to have lower expectations cause your girl is on her period and she just wants to nap. This whole “everyone needs to get 100 points” energy is not a message I can actually endorse. I am content with a smooth 50 points so if I get more than that great but I don’t need the pressure. I respect everyone’s right to go hard but I would like to not do that. Like it’s a Monday my guy- if that’s how you want to spend it by all means but this is not the only org I’m in and it’s definitely not the only thing I have to do today. I desperately need to do laundry but like changing the sheets on my bed and going to two Zoom meetings has me BEAT. Like I’d call it a day to be honest IF it weren’t for my damn tribe and their push to 100 points per person. All I know if I reach that goal, y’all better not say a damn thing to me because I really tried. I not only look like garbage but I feel like garbage yet I’m out here taking videos and drawing on my face and looking up a damn TikTok dance even though the whole world knows it by now and I’m like why? Why am I doing all this? Is it really to keep white men happy? Does this arbitrary goal mean anything in the end? Do we really NEED 700 points and can we negotiate that number down a little bit? I’m just saying Like obviously I want us to win but no I don't want to spend all day doing this against my will. Y’all need to be happy with whatever I give you and VERY hot take: if I don’t get 100 points then what. What y’all gone do about it- fight me? I do not own Crocs, VHS tapes, anything Egyptian, anything Survivor related, anything rainbow, or a banana and I don’t feel bad about it. There, I said it. I own what I own and I ain’t breaking quarantine for anything so hear me when I say: y’all will get whatever I give you. I want to EAT today but no I gotta get to making all these random videos so I can rack up points, some of which would make for quality blackmail but we won’t get into that. I’m doing this honestly for all the iconic female players who aren’t playing. I can’t make them look bad by being first fucking boot in a season that only has two women playing out of 21 people so I will just suffer through the pain. It’s not like I don’t have the numbers to stay anyway so there’s that. This is all really a formality, if you will. I’m not going anywhere- low score, high score, it really doesn’t matter but that’s just between us girls.

Okay! I am awake! I can make a functional confessional maybe! So first hour of the game I made an alliance with Austin because I have no impulse control and hey thought it would be swell. I then made an alliance 30 minutes later with Augusto and I probably would have made more alliances if Augusto didn't say "Kendall plz wait like a day," So I did wait a day... and then made 2 more alliances 24 hours later. In my defense it wasn't my turn with The Beauty Tribe's communal brain cell and it's been 7 decades since my last game. Anyway I think it worked out because now we have a power alliance and we are Bringing Sexy Back! ... Literally that is the name of our alliance. Bringing Sexy Back. I came up with it and it's like a double meaning because 1. We Sexy and 2. We back. We do not have backs though... there was a tragic accident. Anyway the Core 4 is Me, Augusto, Connor, and Amir. And we keep saying shit like final 4 final 4 but I have to determine the weakest link before it hits me in the face. I don't trust Connor which is why it's important we work together, because I have a feeling he's going to cause damage either way and it will be safer if he thinks I trust him. He has played with Augusto and has a high opinion of him, so that duo is something I am somewhat worried about. I don't know why I don't trust him, it's not a matter of dislike, if anything he's one of my favorite people to talk to on the tribe it's just there is something calculating about him. Like he's sizing us all up. Augusto and I get along pretty well. He keeps saying shit like "Queen" and "We are meant for each other" and other weird but nice things. We both live in Utah so that's pretty lit. I'd like to work with him but I'm also wary of flattery. He seems to be pretty social with the other two as well, like I mentioned before he and Connor were once on the same season together and Amir mentioned that he's the person he talks to the most. It makes me a bit suspicious as to where his loyalties lie which is sort of dumb because he's like legally allowed to talk to people but I don't want him to be their number ones. It would be inconvenient. Amir is... a mess. A likable mess but a mess. He literally told me he has been waiting for someone to ask for an alliance and that he talks the most to Augusto. He wears his thoughts on his sleeves. He seems a bit nervous to be back, like we'd perceive him as some sort of threat because he was an extra player so to speak.... I don't not yet anyway but it's probably for the best I don't say that out loud. We talked about having a spare fifth and I put Austin on the table because 1. it would be nice to have control of a spare. 2. To keep my promise to him to work together. Sadly I wasn't all that subtle about it so... probably sketched the others out even if it was only a little bit. There 400 words plus other more words. Suck it and See bitches! And by bitches I mean hosts and I guess who ever else reads this.

wow, is it great to back! initially, i was pretty nervous entering this game because i honestly just didn't know what to expect. however, i feel as though i'm sort of picking up where i left off a few years ago in terms of adaptability. i was placed on the beauty tribe, and immediately there were a ton of familiar faces that i could connect with. those being adam, amir, and kendall. i would consider connor one too but we were never that acquainted when we played idlm together, i'm pretty sure i even voted him out. as with any game, it's all about breaking the ice in those starting days by striking up conversation with other people on your tribe and seeing what they're all about. with my aforementioned connections, i felt as though it was pretty easy slipping into conversation with them and just catching each other up on how life's been since we last met. with adam, that wasn't really the case since we still frequently see each other but nonetheless! augusto has left a HUGE impression on me in the best way possible. i adore literally every aspect of him and it feels like and i could be pretty good friends. austin is very sweet and we have similar interests, but i'd love to continue getting to know him to form a more solid relationship with him. overall, i feel as though the tribe dynamic works pretty well. everyone is likable and of course, while it's expected for the beauty tribe, it'll be tough in the event (knock on wood) we ever go to tribal! but i'm always geared up and ready to go girl so i guess i can take on anything. our first challenge is the scavenger hunt, and while i lowkey loathe it, this one was actually pretty fun! hopefully we win it because we seem to be pulling out all the stops for this. one of the tasks had required us ALL to be on call and honestly i feel as though that really brought us even more together as a tribe. it was an instant kii with everyone as we sat around sharing interesting experiences and memories. going into actual game discussion, adam is EAGER to play. like EAGER. he's so excited and his mind has been racing since i've touched base with him. as soon as we were introduced to the tomb, his cracked ass starting spiraling. he was NOT gonna stop until he figured out how to get into this tomb! initially, he thought the hieroglyphics on the logo were of importance but he then noticed that the tags on the cast reveal had interesting numbers that corresponding to our tribe name. we ultimately put these numbers into the blog and were let inside the tomb. HOWEVER, we have to fight to even see what's inside of it! we have to answer 10(?) questions i believe relative to egypt, and i got about 7 of them right and stumped on one, halting my progress until the 24 hours are up and i can go again. out of an act of selfishness, i do want this idol all for myself so hopefully adam doesn't get there before me, though i wouldn't mind it as right now i consider him my final two? but we have WAYS to go so who knows if that even holds up.

I guess i need to do one of these anyway!!! I wish i could do a video but i will suffer for the greater good as always!!! The cast this season is very interesting!!! I dont know a lot of people which is a plus but there’s a few haters in the game i hope aren’t coming after me as much as I’m coming after them LOL. Adam, Kendall, and Trace sorry boos your time is limited! I will never trust these players. On my tribe we have a masc straight energy with Liam, Lovelis, TJ, and Dan and some more feminine energy in myself, jordan, and ali. The fems have decided to join a group to stay together and hopefully we can get someone to vote with us if we have to go to tribal council. For right now I trust both of these players, but moreso Jordan. We’re not entirely sure if we can trust Ali. The temple stumped a lot of us and I haven’t heard much about anyone finding it. EXCEPT ME BITCH. I found that shit last night and I was so hype then jumped the gun on the third question and flopped. But I’m reallyyyyy hoping no one else has it, though I fully suspect someone else to have found it. I’m not going to tell a soul because I want it for myself and I’m worried word would get out that I found it and people would suspect I have an idol, even if I don’t. I don’t want to lose at allll. I’m putting my all into this challenge and praying we come out on top. If we get another clue, whatever, just don’t send me to the hell place. TJ is a cool dude and I enjoyed my conversation with him the first night. We vibe together even if he is a straight male and I am gay as a fedora. I like our pairing and I don’t find him to be a sneaky player so I’d love to develop our partnership further so we can be a powerful force in the game. I would feel good knowing I have someone outside my alliance watching my back as well. Right now, it’s hard to get a read of the tribe. Everyone’s kinda quiet, besides ali and jordan, and I don’t know if it’s because they’re already against me or just hard to warm up to. I guess time will tell but can that time be later? My plan right now is to just continue being myself because I think people like me on this tribe for the most part. I’m not going to over-socialize or play too hard cause the way this tribe is going, saying one wrong thing could make you stand out. I’m trying to hide in the shadows and play the cute role for as long as possible before I smile in their face and slit their throats :~) Also I may have planted some doubt into Jordan’s ear about Liam! Because Liam said to me he can’t do the tik tok dance bc of his foot disease that flares up sometimes. Note, this tik tok had no feet movement and could virtually be done in a chair. So I just let Jordan know what Liam told me and immediately Jordan was irritated. I didn’t intentionally mean to throw Liam under the bus, but the bus came quickly. 

So i meant it when i said that i truly like everyone in my tribe. I love the fact that trace is the first person I’ve ever played with that live(d) where i do. I’ve never met anyone from saint louis before and to be able to talk about the gay bars and the local colleges and areas is nice. I’ve seen his name way back when around the community. I think that it’s amazing, the casting this season so props to all you host. Bodhi is someone else who I’ve seen around plenty, but we’ve never had the pleasure to meet each other and he’s someone that I think is very intriguing. I know he’s a strong social player when it comes to brass tacks though so im a little nervous seeming him in the game. Isaac is someone who I’ve played with a handful times and it’s just weird? We have never targeted each other in the games we play but also have never actively worked together in a game. We usually just coexist and ended up on different sides because we had different friend circles in games past. Now if we go to tribal in this first round, then ideally one of those few people will go. Like I said I like everyone, but I need to make sure to play an active role this time, not so passive like last time. Autumn and I got an alliance together. Also, if I haven’t already praised the tumblr survivor gods that I get to play with m daughter, let me re-iterate that I am so ecstatic! Now I’m not going to put all my eggs in her basket, but I hope my connection with her can carry me through the first couple rounds of the game at least. We got an alliance together consisting of myself, herself, devon and scott. In my opinion, the key to a successful alliance is good communication and loyalty. I also want to work with people I have a genuine interest in. I think Scott is so adorable, and I can’t tell if it’s a façade or not but I’m getting along very well with him. Perhaps its just his strong social game kicking in. Regardless he’s someone that I like and is charismatic and optimistic, that’s the type of person I need on my side moving forward. He’ll be great for group morale and maybe he can snoop information out of others moving forward. As for Devon, he says he’s a very loyal player and he is from Guyana. I see him as someone that will hopefully be super loyal and perhaps even a bit naïve moving forward. I don’t know what I want my relationship with Autumn to be with like in this game. She could be my number one, but for anyone that knows us its possible we get targeted like natalie and Jeremy which I don’t want to happen. I really like our tribe and hope we can stay together as long as possible. What I want from this game is to play a strong game and still be liked by all my peers and of course try to win. My first time in the first quarter of seasons, I was brand new as fuck, fresh out the survivor pussy. I didn’t have any confidence or social skills and got booted first. My second season in the 2nd quarter, Lazio, was not a horrible game to play. The cast was trash though and not a well respected season. It was a weird twisted season, i didn’t like anybody on that season and went out in early jury, although I did make single digits. Last time I played was in the third quarter of ts seasons, playing in Bermuda. I played bc I wanted one last hurrah before taking a hiatus and I don’t mind playing in seasons hosted by Chris Stoner. It was revealed to be a 30 person and I wanted to quit after seeing that lol. I was a weak player on strong tribes during the first half of the game, and the few times I went to tribal I had enough relationships with people that I made it to the 15 person f*cking merge. Because I ghosted the first half of the game I wasn’t viewed as a threat but also wasn’t respected by players. I want to be respected for the game that I play this time whether it brings me to final tribal council or winds me up as the first boot. I came here to prove that I have the chops and can do it. I haven’t been voted out of a game in 2.5 years so if I do get eventually booted its going to sting hard lol. I hope to eventually see people like Dan and Ali get voted out before a swap hits but I bet ts gods will swap me onto a tribe with them both lol. Its just going to be awkward if I have to play with them. I’m willing to if I have to, but I def would prefer to just avoid the awkwardness if possible. In contrast I’m hoping people like Amir and Kendall perform well on their tribes because if possible, I already know I like them personally and would love to work with them later on in the game. I just thought about what I can rant on about for a 100 words. WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THIS IDOL SEARCH!?!? IS IT LIKE ONLY OPEN FOR CERTAIN PARTS OF THE DAY? I LOOKED ALL AROUND THE BLOG AND CLICKING EVERY LINK I COULD FIND HOPING TO MAYBE RUN INTO THE IDOL HUNT. NO ONE HAS TOLD ME THE SECRET YET! IS IT ONLY OPEN ONCE A ROUND BETWEEN RESULTS AND TRIBAL? Oof I don’t want to lose. Losing to one tribe isn’t bad because its mutually exclusive, first and last. We don’t have to win 1st place, however we need to make sure we don’t come last. Getting first boot would suck eggs and I would end up getting a lower placement than my first time. Idk if anyone has gotten first boot twice, but I don’t want that distinction. 

okay so my tribe is picking it UP in the end of this challenge, my king jakey suddenly has a full sheet which we love to see. in other news... im not feeling TJ's energy, he is kinda fishing about Montenegro and referencing that I won in a kinda threatening way? and i think he thinks he is being super discrete?! but he... is not. its just making me uncomfortable, like i am already really insecure as a player about being a winner and being seen as one, and i dont like what he is doing. also wanna preface this with the fact that he asked about montenegro in a super complimentary way so this is 100% an overreaction JKASDF im not trying to hide that im a winner (im not trace trying to FBI redact the wiki) but i don't like it being brought up in that kinda threatening/fishing way. like when jake talked to me (even tho he was vague too) about me being a winner, he said he thinks me, Jordan and jakey are the high profile people on the tribe (even tho i think i only am because im a winner, im a one time player and not super connected), which at least grouped us together and was in a discussion about working with that? so yeah... i think at this point i wanna stick with Jake/Jordan first and foremost, then Lovelis, then Dan... then Liam M/TJ are bottom of the totem pole for me, but particularly TJ that man can go soon... (also this is really gonna be a mo situation where tj said literally one thing and i dont trust him KJLASDF)

Wooooo cast assessments except I never watch anyone's intro videos so it's more like a cast reaction lmao

https://youtu.be/K3rfK-Cf-GQ

everytime tj starts typing my heart rate elevates by about 600bpm. literally how can someone be so complimentary and yet so terrifying simultaneously i'm nauseous also just as a side note he is probably being super nice and im just being demonic but we will see kjasdfa

okay so if this doesn't demonstrate im insane, im not sure what will. i take it back about TJ, i think he is actually nice JLKSADFAD. i think his way of relating to me was talking about past games and honestly thats kinda sweet i think i just read into things too much. maybe i do like TJ and want him to stick around NNN. maybe she's born with it, maybe its genuine insanity. but yeah TJ if you are reading this sorry for being the rudest ever over a compliment nnnn

I’m so sad that we lost because I don’t want to see any of these people go home and I don’t want to be first boot! lol. I’m also pissed now because I spent so much time doing stuff for nothing >.> it’s the game though, so we’ll keep trudging along i suppose. I don’t want to go home so let’s see what happens 

[ma-serra]

Yo Wazzuupppp!

My raya journal is backkkkk!

Gosh apparently writing needs determination sis! HAHAH when I said I wanted to document every single thing, I really didnt realize how much effort is needed! LOL nontheless I'll try my best to write so my future self will have something to read 😄

11.5.2021

Boarders closed! The state government announced that sabah is no longer 'segregated' (wait is that the right word? Aaahh screw) by zon, but by wait I dunno by what but now until next week, only KK, Putatan and Penampang considered as one area! So all Tuaran & Lokawi Peeps arent allowed to enter 'bandar' KK, if bandar make sense, yknow what i mean right? Hahaha

Anyway, so I told my dad I dont have raya shoes and i wanna go to the malls to buy one (using my 'favorite/only daughter card' here and muh old man said okayyyy) altho raya kat rumah je pun dunno why my dad fell for that clever trick to go to the mall to buy raya shoes like where am i gonna use em to anyway, bedroom to kitchen? Hahah so yooo future dads out there, you better watch out, its not your wives thats gonna drive you crazy, its your daughters! 🤭🤭

So I let my parents do all their morning ibadah sunat 1st before a visit to imago leggooooo. Well if youre wondering why im not driving there myself, even tho i have my driving license, altho yall prolly dont know i have one, okay enough me esplaininn things, i just dont wanna! Hahah yeah i manja liddat and my dad layankan aje anak dara dia sorang ni. Cuhs how many times a year can he drive me around? (If pre covid its uncountable haha but these covid days, i bet he miss drivin me around. I sure hope so!😆)

It was pretty late when we get out of the house. Around 10ish. Late if yknow my dad hahah. My bro join the club cuhs again i played the 'sister card' sayin eyyyy bukan selalu u shop wimme! Kehhh it works too! I swear my persuasion skills has been upgraded to another level LOL. Bro kept telling ayyyy imago is closed but i said lets just see. Aaaaaannndddd no traffic at all. Dad was like ehhh maybe adik is right, but me with my optimistic view, lets just go to the parking lot and see. To our surprise, its friggin OPEN!

But walaoweyh, no traffic, no que whatsoever, ample parking and no crowds! Gila. We can practice social distancing some more inside the mall! Literally havent seen the mall as quiet as that in agesssss!

Sooo all in all, it was a great experience. Good to know that my fellow KKians are good in adhering to SOPs and all this while yang shopping sakan tu are actually peeps from outside KK, Putatan & Penampang. Like me urang labuan lels. But yeah kasi can la sebab sis almost a year nda pijak tu imago hahaha

Whilst i puji KKians melambung tinggi, dad went 'orang semua suda balik kampung kakak, kau jak ni mau pegi imago lagi' Kehhhh but yeah maybe so la ahhh bcs twas 2 days before raya hahahah

Twas almost asar so dad said okay chop chop lesgo home! We went home in confidence after i got my raya tingz sorted and we planned to tapau food near my house for buka later near maghrib. To our surprise, right when we arrived home, my adik said he forgot to buy a pair of pants to go with his kurta for raya pertama. Talk about a grand surprise. Soooo we ended up only buka with kurma, drive back to imago, my bro got his pants and while waiting for it to be altered, we had our iftar at lucy kitchen.

What a day!

Ayyyyy penat oiiii typing! Nak kematu jari ni. Ada tak apps yang I can just record my voice and its translated into written docs? Kalau ada please la inform this girl. Anywayyyy till next update, annyeong!😘