#my sister also used to have major substance abuse problems and the younger brothers don’t even LISTEN to her words of caution

[transboysokka]

Okay wooo let’s come on out about it, confession time babes!

I… think it’s so lame and embarrassing but I HAVE dealt with a fucking. Gambling addiction in the past lmfao there’s not much to it but yeah it was bad

So um. There’s a lot of substance abuse in the family and since I’ve already dealt with the lame gambling thing I do a lot to prevent other stuff from happening to me personally like I never keep alcohol in the house and as much as I like to have a good time I never buy ~party favors~ directly or like allow myself to have those connections/contacts

and yet I STILL found a way to abuse cigarettes about uhhh 10 years ago because it was the only thing I let myself have access to. It started with cigars in Cuba and by the time I moved to China YOH I was smoking a pack a night. Found out it was an issue when a friend took them from me once out of concern and I started crying and begging for them back, it was NOT pretty. I decided to quit cold turkey by myself 5 years ago and I got SO SICK when my body adjusted to like. Not poisoning itself. Anyway. Even nowadays I still crave them and I know if I even have one again I’m fucked but I never want to get that sick again so I JUST DONT

[caldonahue]

    —introducing callaghan “cal” donahue as macbeth

trigger warning: murder, death, drug use and overdose, abuse, disassociation

hi friends! i’m farah, i’m twenty-two, i go by she/her pronouns, i live in the pst timezone, and i’m literally so? stoked? to be here. i don’t think i’ve ever written a character quite this dark before so this shall be interesting... beware, cal is literal trash. anyway, i just finished writing a paper right before i was supposed to turn it in at midnight *wipes the imaginary sweat off my forehead* so my brain’s a little fried. but i promise i will try to be all caught up and in full-force tomorrow. that being said, please come plot with me. you can message me on here or on my discord ( farah#1263 ). can’t wait to stir up tons of trouble with you all.

skeleton: macbeth

name: callaghan “cal” donahue

age: twenty-two

birthdate: may 25, 1997

birthplace: manhattan, new york

faceclaim: jacob elordi

gender: cis-male

pronouns: he/him

degree: business

pinterest board

cal grew up in primarily in new york in one of the richest families in america. from the outside, his family had the appearance of perfection, but underneath that facade lay years of shocking and hidden family secrets that one way or another got out into society, even if his family tried to put them down as merely rumors.

cal’s father is a highly respected but also deeply feared business man/media magnate known for his cutthroat attitude in his business dealings and personal relationships. he had an extremely difficult childhood, having been orphaned at a young age and passed from relative to relative around europe, many of whom were not very kind to him. still, he was incredibly intelligent and wanted to make something of himself, having this belief in the american dream and wanting to move there if he ever got the chance. when he got offered a full-ride to ashcroft, he ran with it. it wasn’t america, but he figured the opportunities could lead to that. (this makes cal a legacy, which is one of the reasons he was asked to join the imperium society along with his father’s global reputation). and they did. after college, he was able to use his connections and move to new york, where he founded his own start-up that eventually led to him building his own personal fortune.

cal’s mother was very much a hustler. she grew up poor in new york and at an early age, learned how to use her good looks to manipulate men for the finer things in life. she had a short stint as a model before she met cal’s father, charming him enough to call it quits with his first wife who had just given birth to his first son. underneath her obvious beauty, however, was a fiery temper and substance abuse problem. the thing about her was that she really wasn’t made to be a wife and mother. cal’s father thought he could turn her into this perfect socialite/housewife (marrying her and then proceeding to have cal and his younger sister in a very short span of time), but the task proved impossible. she was always only looking out for herself and didn’t enjoy being tied down, certainly not with kids to take care of despite the nannies his father provided. they fought constantly, and their home life was extremely unstable. it was a normal occurrence for cal to see his mother being dragged off to an institution by his father’s security guards or for his mother to use him and his sister as bait to get his father to give her money for drugs, to leave him, or sometimes just to try and get back with him.

eventually, she finally did leave, having told cal and his sister the three of them were moving to los angeles, but leaving without them and dying of a drug overdose shortly after. cal was about eight at the time and thinks he has successfully hidden this entire episode from his memory, but it’s definitely something that affects him whether he likes it or not.

while his father cares deeply for his children and has provided them a life of ease and luxury, he’s certainly not innocent in all of this mess. he’s extremely manipulative and often psychologically traumatizing to them as well. he often finds his children to be lazy and ungrateful and resents the way they’ve been raised (even though it was his own doing), while he suffered from poverty and abuse in his own childhood. he often pits the three of them against each other, always trying to see who’s the stronger, smartest, who will do whatever it takes to be the best, especially because there’s always talk about who’s going to be the one to be the one who’s going to take over when he retires. it is usually said to be cal, because it’s no secret that he’s his father’s favorite. his older brother’s too sensitive in his father’s eyes and his sister doesn’t want anything to do with the family business, although she could be a rival in her own right.

the thing about cal is that he’s a bit of a perfectionist. he was someone who was born well-connected and with many talents, but because of his father’s constant watching and pressure, he’s always afraid that all of that isn’t enough. and a lot of times, it isn’t with his father because he’s almost impossible to please. and to him, pleasing his father is everything. the man is basically a god to him. cal is the type of person who looks like everything is so easy for them. he always got top grades, was stellar in sports, and was wildly charming and popular. but these were all things he worked hard at to perfect. it took a lot of work to become the cal donahue he is today, which is why his literal fall from grace is so upsetting.

the two things cal fears the most is being a failure and going insane. his father has a habit of using his mother’s temper, drug addiction, and mental illness again him, kind of saying things like i had you don’t end up her, son (even though his father has plenty of issues himself he could pass down to him). and he is like his mother in a lot of ways. he definitely has an anger problem and has had one since he was incredibly young, but it’s always something he’s tried to cover up his entire life. the thing is, though, it’s easy to make him snap. especially when things don’t go his way or he doesn’t get what he wants. those are the two instances that really set him off. he has the need to succeed, and he doesn’t want anything short of perfect. how far his anger can go honestly really scares him (and what happened with octavia was just an example of that). for a guy who looks and acts like he has everything, he is extremely insecure and has major abandonment issues deep down, resulting from all of the trauma he’s been put through between his parents.

he loves control and loves to be made to think he’s in control. in reality, because of his father, he’s no stranger to manipulation. so it makes sense on how it easy it was for lady macbeth to get him to do what he did, even though he went much farther than what she had originally asked him to do. really, all she had to do what boost his ego and ultimately, he probably got off on thinking he’s this tough guy who’s going to protect her, because at the end of the day he’s never felt in control of his life because his dad’s always been calling the shots and making him how he wanted him to be (and what he wants him to be is kind of ambiguous... like he doesn’t really want him to be a good person, so what is it then? someone who will do anything it takes to be successful and win?)

so diving into the murder... i mean, cal is not a sociopath... i think he was raised by someone who had sociopathic tendencies and these may have rubbed off on him a bit. is he a good person? obviously not with what he’s done, but even before that i feel like that area was kind of grey. there was this cutthroat, narcissistic edge about him and while he displayed this charming mask to his peers, he may have been closer to snapping than even he himself realized. he definitely wasn’t raised to have an outstanding moral compass; he was raised to be the best, and looking at his household, chaos is kind of what he knows and thrives on even though he wouldn’t admit that. he’s the type of guy that people like to a certain extent or have to give praise to but if you’re looking closely, there’s just something off like he’s almost too successful? or maybe he never seems genuine? he definitely strives to display this image of perfection, but sometimes so much so that it’s almost unnerving? he will take the necessary measures to get what he wants and ultimately, he’s gone too far. he does feel guilty, but it’s also triggered this weird grey area on him because he’s literally got away with murder.

his mental state is just really fractured and i feel like it’s getting harder for him to decipher what is reality and what’s not if that makes sense? like he’ll go through periods of extreme guilt, especially being plagued by horrible nightmares and being haunted by octavia’s ghost. but he also has this sense of feeling a bit untouchable? maybe awakening a god complex in him? i feel like that idea was sort of already there before, but it’s just magnified now and at points he’s just on the verge of a mental breakdown, not sure what to do? confess, try to carry on with his life, experiment with the idea of being able to get away with anything?

he’s deeply terrified of people finding out, but he’s also down deep a very wounded person and feels like maybe that’s what he deserves (his father always made it out like he didn’t deserve his charmed life, he never felt worthy of his mother’s love, now he’s a murderer...)

[datingadviceonreddit]

Joining #throwawaynation to tell this story. I have an awesome life. Great grades, cheerleader, great group of girl friends, awesome family support. One of my best friends is a guy, let's call him Chip. Chip has always had a terrible home and family life, both parents are addicts, etc. Chip is a big-time womanizer himself, cheating on the various beautiful and upstanding women he's dated, and has struggled with substance abuse and has trouble with authority figures sometimes. Despite all this, Chip is an outstanding athlete (scholarship offers in multiple sports), made a top-notch score on his college entrance exams (top five percent), sincerely loves people and has a winning personality, and is unquestionably the most popular and good-looking guy in our school. Literally all the teachers and other students love him, and most of the parents are charmed by his personality and feel bad for him because of his upbringing so they let his various indiscretions slide.Part of the reason he's so well-adjusted is because since we were young kids, several stable, religious families (mine included) in our school and community have taken an interest in Chip and sort of taken him in. He has a bedroom in my house in addition to similar guest room situations in several of our other friends' homes. My parents love him, he has a great relationship with my mom (who is my best friend), he mentors my little brother in baseball, he has attended Christmas dinners and weddings as my plus-one dozens of times. We have basically been brother-and-sister close for five years now. He has a similar relationship with another one of my best friends and her family, and a bunch of the guys he plays sports with are like his brothers as well.I'm sure you've seen where this is going, but I've basically been in love with Chip for the last three years. I've loved staying so close to him as friends, but there are times when its been really challenging to have him sleeping just on the other side of the wall from me while I lay in my bed imagining myself drawing his name in my notebook like a schoolgirl. I've never pushed the envelope with him romantically because we ARE such great friends and he is like part of the family; I wouldn't want to bust up the whole situation if he didn't reciprocate my feelings, or if we tried things and they didn't work out. He is also a legitimate serial cheater and most of his girlfriends are objectively prettier and more popular than me; I've got pretty good social standing but he literally has the pick of any female he wants on our campus.Around February, a few things started happening. He had recently started dating a new girl after a long-term relationship of over a year (in which he repeatedly cheated on a gorgeous sweetheart who was a scholarship athlete, religious girl, high academic achievement, etc). When he hit his first rough patch with new girl, let's call her Diana, he came to my house to talk to me about it. No big deal, happens all the time. Typical best friend stuff. I put my feelings for him aside and gave him the best advice I could. I've never tried to split him up with other girls or anything like that since I'm not sure I'd ever have the guts to make a move on him myself. Well, long story short, as we laid in his bed talking about things, watching tv, on our phones, we started getting weirdly closer together like physically. And when he got up to leave for the night and I followed, he turned around, grabbed my waist, and full-on kissed me on the lips. Sweetest moment of my young romantic life to that point, but we literally never brought it up again. The next day he was right back with Diana, and we were right back to being just best friends. It was never weird between us, but we literally NEVER mentioned anything about that night.Fast forward to this summer, family trip to see our closest Major League Baseball team, we invite Chip because he loves baseball, this team, and that's what he and my younger brother have bonded over. We go to the game, great time as a family, go to dinner afterward, well my mom and dad are wiped so they let Chip drive us back to the hotel which was a little ways outside the city center. I sat up front to help him navigate while the rest of the fam snoozed. Well again we start talking with low voices, I get that same vibe I got laying in the bed with him that night, and without a word he just slips his hand in mine and we hold hands silently in the dark for a few miles. I was so excited/nervous/happy. Just like last time, though, we never mentioned it. Just right back to best buds.Alright, so fast forward to what set this post in motion. I've of course replayed those two incidents in my mind a million times. Then this morning Chip came to church with my family, which he does frequently. It's almost like an homage to everything our families do for him. He sat between me and my mom, and I saw my mom kind of affectionately pat/rub his back when he leaned over with his elbows on his knees (that's kind of important for later). Midway through the sermon, he typed a note on his phone that said "Lunch date?" and passed it to me. We made plans to go eat together after church, but it was no big deal. Using the word "date" didn't stand out since he's still with Diana. His birthday was two days ago, and he and Diana are going into the metropolis nearest us to celebrate tonight with a fancy dinner, etc. After we got back to my house after having a nice, perfectly normal lunch together, he went into his room to take a nap. Like I'd done a thousand times before, I went in and laid next to him to catch a few winks myself. Literally we've been doing this for years. As he slept with his back to me, I reached out and started stroking his back lightly with my fingernails. No idea what came over me or why I did it other than I had seen my mom do it during church. After just a few seconds, he turned over to face me without opening his eyes. He grabbed the hand I'd been rubbing his back with, kissed it, then sort of loosely held it while he lay there sleeping. Again, not a word between us. A few minutes later, as I lay there basically shaking trying to figure all this out, he reaches out and starts playing with my hair (eyes still closed, not a word). After a few minutes of laying there loving it while simultaneously having my mind race at the possibilities, I got up and left the room. I was so confused and overwhelmed. He walked out an hour or two later to spend his evening celebrating his birthday with Diana like nothing had happened. Perfectly normal interactions with my whole family, including me.Reddit, I'm shook. I'm pretty sure I'm in love with him, as much as I can be at my age anyways. Being around him is intoxicating. I love people seeing us together, and some of my best memories are with him. But I love the stable relationship my family has with him and I know how important those relationships are to him, me, and the rest of my family. He is also still with Diana, who is a beautiful, brilliant pageant girl with a rockin' body who can party with him (I don't drink or use drugs and I'm a virgin by choice). I don't want to be one of the girls he sees on the side, and I don't want to do anything behind her back. There's also the fact that if we got together, it'd be hard for me to trust him since it's basically an open secret that he can't/won't stay faithful to any girl, and any outcome other than our marriage would basically cost us a family member. He's got problems, but he has a good heart and is as sweet, mature, and sincere as any man I've ever met. He's been taking care of himself since he was young and he's determined to use his talents to make his life as an adult what he never had as a child. I want to at least ask him about everything that's happened, but what if I'm misreading it all and we're just really affectionate friends, or he starts pressuring me to be a "side chick" which I have no interest in being, and it wrecks our whole situation? I can't picture him intentionally hurting or misleading me, but I feel like I'm in a really precarious spot here.Waaaay TL;DR my best friend has a tough family life and lives with my fam part time, I've been in love with him for years, he's sending mixed signals, help via /r/dating_advice