#my sister is a different kind of neurodivergent where she constantly needs A Plan for everything and needs to know The Plan

[creeperthescamp]

I think I've replaced dad as the Dad of the family in that whenever we travel I'm the one who is perpetually tired and overstimulated and doesn't want to be in photos and always just wants to find a nice quiet place to exist with a drink or perhaps a treat. unless it's a museum of whatever sort in which case I will read and look at everything until someone drags me away to Next Location

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

(asoue-sideblog) Do you have headcanons for autistic ASOUE characters, to complete the trifecta?

oooooh absolutely let’s do this thing

For starters- I should mention that it’s pretty easy to assign special interests to the ASOUE characters, seeing as most of them have one (1) interest that defines them, so I’m just gonna list that at the top to get that out of the way and then go for other headcanons :D

Violet {gifset of her own here}

Special Interest: Inventing, but she probably had other minor SIs like Female Finnish Pirates and Nikola Tesla

Her hair in her face normally doesn’t bother her but becomes a sensory issue when she’s thinking too hard, and tying up her hair when she’s thinking has become part of her Inventing Routine

Tends to hyperfocus on her inventions/plans to the detriment of basically everything else around her 

Really dislikes being put into social situations; during parties she’d hide in the corner with a book or a watch to take apart and put back together

Figured out how to sew just so she could make her and her siblings weighted blankets; she’s found that Sunny tends to like them best, but they all love them

She’s definitely got insomnia, and would stay up all night working on a new invention if her siblings didn’t keep track of her and help her get to sleep

Klaus {gifset of his own here}

Special Interest: General Literature, but he definitely gets hooked on a lot of topics he reads about. And I feel like during the canon timeline he got a special interest in the VFD Mystery

Blunt AF and literal to a fault

Literally infodumps all the time, and often doesn’t even realize he’s doing it until it’s been an hour and the conversation has moved on three times. His sisters, the Quagmires, and Fiona (for the brief time he knew her) were the only ones who weren’t really bothered by this 

Often doesn’t understand verbal instruction, and definitely has trouble understanding metaphors and sarcasm

Unlike Violet, who was a bit more social, before the fire Klaus didn’t have many friends aside from his sisters. He couldn’t pass as neurotypical as well as Violet, and so a lot of the other kids saw him as the “weird” one. He usually didn’t care, especially since he preferred to stay inside and read, but he did get a bit lonely sometime. He considers Violet his best friend, as they understand each other much better than they can understand anybody else 

Most of his minimal social skills were learned by watching his parents talking to their friends, which means he’s talked like an adult from a very young age

Sunny {gifset of her own here}

Special Interest: Cooking! Though it’d also be cool if at some point Sunny becomes interested in snakes, trying to figure out all about her bff Inky

Cannot focus on anything at any point; she gets distracted incredibly easily and tends to triple-task herself 

Overstimulated by noise quite a lot - in the books, that’s the reason the rattle’s noise scared her 

Is incredibly blunt, to the point where she can’t remember the last time she lied. This isn’t as much of a problem when she’s still speaking in baby-talk, but once she starts using actual words, Violet and Klaus have to figure out how to keep her from straight-up telling people they’ve burned down a building

Wears a lot of weighted clothing, and even as she gets older she still stims by biting 

Has absolutely no sense of time - can’t remember if that conversation with Klaus over Bea’s birthday cake happened last week or last month, also she was talking to Vi ten minutes ago… wait, no, an hour… or two… 

Duncan 

Special Interest: Journalism of any kind, thinks he wants to be an Investigative Journalist someday 

Definitely the least social of the triplets, social interaction kinda gives him anxiety and he’d much rather go over compare newspaper stories than attend parties or join clubs

Tends to infodump about Dorothy Parker or the different types of Journalism on anyone who will bother to listen, usually Isadora. As much as Quigley wanted to listen, he really couldn’t pay attention to anything at all 

In contrast, Duncan is actually very good at paying attention, mostly because he takes notes on everything he’s heard and every conversation he’s had

Absolutely hates Prufrock for more reasons than just the obvious; he hates having to sit still for so long, be around so many other people who all seem to understand interaction better than him, and be judged more on test-taking than actual knowledge. Also I can guarantee that Prufrock did not have any accommodations for neurodivergent children 

Has a very strong sense of justice, which is definitely why he especially hates corrupt newspapers and will rant on how much he hates The Daily Punctilio to anyone who will listen 

Isadora 

Special Interest: Poetry, probably specifically the works of Ogden Nash and Lord Byron (and Sappho, let’s be real)

Poetry is really the only outlet she has to emotional expression; for the life of her, she can’t figure out how she feels about anything any other way

Verbally stims by repeating famous poems to herself, or sometimes throwing in her own work and reciting it on repeat

Incredibly good at memorization, almost better than Klaus- she can recite the entirety of Rime of the Ancient Mariner if need be

Brutally honest, especially to people she considers rude; she will not hesitate to tell Carmelita exactly how much she hates her 

She and Quigley were both disasters when put together because they were both Incredibly Impulsive, though in different ways: her impulsivity tended to manifest in rushing into situations without thinking through the consequences or doing something without reading instructions, while his impulsivity tended to be more “our parents are gone so i’m cutting the sleeves off of all of my shirts, they’re like 85% of my impulse control”

Quigley 

Special Interest: Cartography and Geography, he definitely used to have a collection of cool-looking globes and maps 

The most obviously autistic of the triplets, he tends to completely ignore social cues, forget that people have boundaries, and stim whenever he gets nervous 

Waaay too trusting of people, and easily deceived because he kinda forgets that people would just lie to each other 

Has intense difficulty sitting or standing still and paying attention; if he’d been sent to Prufrock, he probably would’ve tried to run away before the first week was up

Needs mental stimulation at all times, or else he’ll go do something wild like try to bungee-jump off the roof with glued-together rubber bands while Isadora cheers him on and Duncan desperately drags him back inside 

Sleep is a Foreign Concept 

Hand-flapping and jumping up and down are his main stims, but Modern!Quigley 100% has a million of those sequin pillows to run his hands through and shares them with Sunny, who also adores them 

Fiona 

Special Interest: Mycology, but she also sometimes gets intense fixations on types of marine life, which is to be expected when she’s constantly surrounded by the ocean 

Unfortunately Widdershins never really pays attention to her when she infodumps, so she gained a habit of talking to herself. The Baudelaires and Phil were among the first people to actually listen to her when she talked about her favorite fungi 

Incredibly fascinated by how the Queequeg works and all the details of how it functions, which is how she ended up being the Chief Engineer, even though she’s not super great at actually fixing things  

Gets really bored by things that don’t interest her, and often will find a way to distract herself, whether she wants to or not (see: “When I want her to research the life of Herman Melville, she works slowly, but she’s quick as a whip when the subject is mushrooms”) 

Actually very sensitive to touch, especially from people she doesn’t know. Will really only make physical contact with people she trusts 

Even though she’s technically pretty introverted, she’s very codependent, and panics when she thinks she might have to be alone

When she’s not in uniform, Fiona wears mismatched clothing and doesn’t care how bad it looks; it feels good and that’s what matters to her, so who cares if she’s wearing a pink sweatshirt with a green skirt and two different kinds of shoes? 

so yeah, the vfd kids are very autistic and i love them

{stranger things autism headcanons} {losers club autism headcanons}

[silver-and-ivory]

So here’s why I think I’m having problems with my parents; also I want to ask more questions.

So here is the amount of chores I am supposed to do each week-

two days a week I am supposed to clean the kitchen

this means wiping counters and the table, loading and unloading the dishwasher, and sweeping the floor

this is supposed to be done by 1:00

occasionally I have to do it twice in one day

to be clear, my parents and sister also have similar kitchen-cleaning assignments

whenever I eat something, I’m supposed to put the dishes I’ve used into the dishwasher (as is everyone else with their dishes)

I am supposed to clean three bathroom counters and four sinks as well as to take out their trash every weekend

every week I have to vacuum either the downstairs or the upstairs; and then also a set of stairs

This feels extremely unmanageable and difficult, not least because I’m also supposed to have A’s in every class (because I’m Intelligent and am just not Applying Myself).

First question - Is this a normal amount of chores to do? Second question: How can I best ask for fewer chores?

The second problem is that I don’t feel that my consent is important for most things.

Chores are not things I’m allowed to choose to do or not. They are “basic things that you should do for the family”.

Mama complains about my “incredibly high desire to not interact with people”.

Last year I had made a plan to do something with my grandfather and sister, and then my parents came up with another plan for what my grandfather, my sister, and I would do instead, without consulting us.

Yesterday Mama and I came home with food from a restaurant, with different entrees. I had ordered a specific entree for myself. As I was going to take it to my seat, Mom said that I should leave it on the counter “so that everyone can have some”. I set it down and got a bowl so I could put food from my own entree into it. Then when I started putting food into my bowl Mom said, “Oh, don’t worry, I’m done with it, it’s yours now.”

The third part is that I think there have been major problems with regard to transness and neurodivergence.

Mom has repeatedly stated in the context of me being trans and demanding that both of them use my pronouns and chosen name that “family is the most important thing”. She intervened to advocate for my sister and then my aunt (who I was named after), claiming by implication that both of them were upset by my name change. Neither of them is. She has intervened when I (politely) requested to other people that they call me by my chosen name, and said “Don’t you think that it would be more efficient to- her name’s just [deadname].”

Mom has also repeatedly tried to stop me from rocking. She told me in 4th grade or so that my teacher had told her that my rocking made the teacher nauseous. As I have stated before, she told me that it was a dysfunctional behavior, akin to masturbation. Sometimes when I rock or stim in front of Mom (or Mama) they grab my shoulder and tell me to stop. Mom explicitly characterized rocking as a childish thing to do, which I should now stop because I’m older; she also said that my friends probably disdained me because of it.

On the same note, when I wear my bathrobe Mama makes comments about how I look like a mental patient. Once I was sitting on my grandfather’s lap fiddling with his throat (look he has a very interesting throat filled with fleshy pieces ok) and Mama made a remark about how I was “on the spectrum” and told me to stop. In general there have been insinuations that I am “on the spectrum” with the implication (by tone of voice) that this is not a good thing to be.

As of late, I’ve been somewhat bad at being ready in time for school. I end up taking my hairbrush with me to school. Mama told me that I was not allowed to do this and made a comment in a very disdainful tone about how I was “carrying my hairbrush in my hand like a microphone”. In a similar disdainful, sneering tone, Mom has commented on my tendency to carry things in my hands.

They both seem to believe that if I have disheveled (unbrushed) hair on public transportation, I will be kicked off and maybe the security will be called. (I think this is kind of ridiculous.)

Yesterday also, Mom was asking me a lot of questions about stuff I needed to do which I hadn’t yet done. I answered them, but then she asked another, about when I would accomplish it. This made me nervous so I snapped at in her a bitter tone, “Today!”

She was silent for something like a minute and a half, then she started talking about how “Mama and I have tried very hard to help you learn how to not stress out during conversations, but now it’s in your hands. And I’m concerned for you! If you talked to your employer or boss that way, you’d be fired.”

(Often things come down to my future employer- the executive dysfunction causing lateness, the hair not being brushed, having poor emotional reactions. Oh and also there was when I asked her to talk to me and to bring problems up to me differently, which is apparently a sign of disrespect.)

She has said in the past that I used to apologize a lot for being late, etc., and that they had only later figured out that I was trying to do it to get out of punishments. This is a completely inaccurate statement, because actually I had terrible scrupulosity about everything and had simply ceased showing it.

Mom has a tendency to overelaborate when she tells me what I’m doing wrong. It is very irritating.

Both of them remind me of things that I’m supposed to do, when I am often about to do those things, and feel anxious because I feel rushed and like a failure.

It makes me very nervous to be around both of them because, even when I’m wearing headphones, they constantly try to talk to me and confront me about whatever failure it is today. I obviously also feel nervous rocking around them.

Finally, there is the whole thing where I’m not supposed to rock or cry while talking to them about important things. This is linked to the thing where I’m not supposed to snap at them or show my irritation.

(Also, possibly tangential, but Mom made a remark while we were watching Gilmore Girls that “Lorelai isn’t very nice to her mother”. In my opinion, Lorelai’s mother is a terrible manipulative person who is always screwing up Lorelai’s life.)

So um, this is pretty terribly organized and overly lengthy, but aside from the transness and some of the stim-related stuff I’m not really sure what things are bad and which are okay.

Please tell me how I should respond to these things. I’m not financially independent at all.