#my thoughts on my gender are still cooking but tbh I think I’m approaching it the same way as being bisexual

[asmosmainhoe]

I'mma be real with you, I'm a dense mofo when it comes to someone flirting with me. Deadass the only way I'm with my current gf is she was like "listen here u dense nerd I like u romantically" after I had told her I don't see the point in flirting when you can just be direct/honest about it so there's no mixed signals. So maybe brothers/undateables with a crush that's like that?

We should start a club, 'cause I'm super dense too.

Some of them turned out longer than intended.

---

The brothers & undateables with an oblivious s/o

Gender neutral MC

Warnings: none

Lucifer

He definitely knows how to flirt so he's trying to charm you at any given chance.

Quickly notices that you don't get it. Like at all.

You leave him no other way than to call you to his private study and directly tell you what's up.

"MC, I'm in love with you. I've been trying to show you that for a very long time now."

"Oh, I love you too! You're such a good friend and brother!"

"No- wh- I meant in a romantic way."

"Why didn't you say so earlier? Because I think I might be in love too!"

You're not making his life easier you know?

Mammon

Another dense mofo.

You both are making it super obvious that you have feelings for each other.

But does the other one notice that? Aw heck no.

You guys are crying about it in Asmo's room without the other knowing it.

Asmo is losing it. It is kinda funny though and he finds it extremely cute.

One day he's dragging Mammon to your room.

"You guys love each other! You are just too DENSE to notice it!"

Then he leaves you guys by yourselves.

Levi

At first thinks that you simply don't like him and that's why you don't respond.

I mean who would want a yucky otaku as a boyfriend? You of course, but you don't notice how much he likes you.

He's trying so hard you know?

He isn't as experienced as most of his brothers so he doesn't really know how to approach you.

You being extremely oblivious makes it even more difficult for him.

It's impossible for him to confess to you from face to face so he writes you a letter and slides it under your door.

After a few minutes you're in his room.

"Levi, I feel the same. You should have been more obvious about it!"

"Bwifbsiabhw but I was?!"

Satan

He's trying to woo you with his cooking skills and knowledge. (I'm 100% convinced that he's a great cook)

Also knows a lot about flirting, but he doesn't always keep a straight face.

When he's being more straight forward you can see a small blush on his cheeks and ears.

But is it straight forward enough for you? No, you still don't get it.

"You always smell so nice, MC."

"Aw thank you, Satan!"

And then you get on with your day.

He doesn't know what he's doing wrong tbh.

So after a while he loses his patience and just tells you how he feels for you.

Can't believe that not even "I love you" is enough.

It has to be "I love you NOT as a friend and no, I don't mean as a best friend either- for the love of Diavolo just kiss me."

Asmo

No one in the whole universe is as straight forward about it as Asmodeus.

He knows your kind and he knows that he has to tell you about his feelings directly.

But it's not as easy as he thought it would be.

"MC, I wanna be with you."

"Oh I thought our self-care evening is tomorrow? We can do it today too if you want."

You're giving him wrinkles.

"Honey, you're a mess. I've been flirting with you since you arrived here. Did you friendzone me without me knowing it? Is that it?"

You can't believe what you just heard.

"I thought you're flirting with everyone! Like this is something you just do!"

"I mean yea, but no."

He has a hard time explaining it.

Beel

Our baby doesn't notice at first that you're so oblivious.

He thinks you're just not interested in him.

Tbh that makes him kinda sad and do you know what he does when he gets sad?

He eats. What a surprise.

But he eats more than usual which worries you.

You try to cheer him up, but nothing seems to work.

"Beel, would you like to tell me what's wrong?"

"I don't wanna upset you or make you feel bad, MC...I just- it makes me sad that you don't like me back."

"But I like you!"

"Only as a friend."

"What? Beel, I like you more than that!"

"Why do you constantly turn me down then?"

"I didnt- oh wait you like me too?!"

He won't even question it. He's just happy that you feel the same.

Belphie

Much like Beel he first thinks you're simply not interested.

I mean who could blame you after that incident in the attic?

But he soon finds out you're just super oblivious.

Whenever he makes you compliments you think it's just friendly and don't really respond in a way other than thanking him.

That's kinda frustrating and he doesn't know how to handle that.

He surprises you by storming into your room.

"I know some people don't get that, but this is getting pretty exhausting."

"Belphie, I don't know what you're-"

"Oh shut up and listen! I love you! And before you say anything no I don't mean it in a friendly way!"

You made him run to your room. He never runs.

Diavolo

Super obvious. Much like Asmo.

He constantly sends you flowers and jewelry.

He's the prince. Of course he can afford that.

Even asks you out to Ristorante Six.

The problem is: you don't think of it as a date.

But he does.

Diavolo keeps holding your hand and tells you how beautiful you look and how happy he is that you said yes to this.

He has no idea that you just see this as a meeting among friends.

So when he accompanies you back to the house of Lamentation and you leave him there with a simple good bye he's shook.

You were having such a good time? Why are you leaving him at the door without even a hug?

Confronts you about it the next day and asks if he did something wrong.

"Why?"

"Our date went so well and-"

"Wait? That was a date?"

"Yes, but I understand if you don't feel the same. After all I'm-"

"No! I like you too! I just didn't know you like me in that way!"

Barbatos

He doesn't act on his feelings.

At least not in a flirting way like Asmo or Solomon.

We all know that Barbatos makes the best desserts.

People would kill to eat them.

He makes them for you every weekend.

Insists to bring them over personally so that he can spend more time with you.

Everyone notices how he opens up to you. Well except for one person of course.

"I'm so glad to have you as a friend!"

This man's poor heart.

"You see me as a friend?"

"Yes."

"I would like to be more than that."

"Best friends?"

"...more."

The wheels are turning in your head.

"OH!"

Simeon

He is so charming oof.

100% a gentleman so his flirting isn't too straight forward.

"When I'm with you I don't miss the sun anymore."

"Aaawww, Simeon! You'll make someone very happy some day."

He can't do anything else but sigh as a response.

That's as obvious as he can get.

As obvious as he WANTS to get actually, because he doesn't want to make you feel uncomfortable.

After a while he decides against it.

"MC, I don't think I made myself clear enough. I love you."

"Simeon! Oh, why didn't you tell me sooner?"

He can't sigh.

He's too busy holding you.

Solomon

On second place when it comes to being extremely open about his feelings.

You two are:

"I like your pants, MC."

"Thank you. They were 50% off."

"I'd like them 100% off."

"You can't run a shop like that, Solomon."

He finds it too funny.

Constantly flirts with you, because he's wheezing at your responds.

Of course that even he grows impatient after while, because well he has feelings for you.

Big complicated feelings and he's dying to know if you have them too.

"I've been flirting with you for months now, you know?"

"Oh really? I didn't notice."

"Yes, I've figured."

Of course you two end up together.

---

Rules

Masterlist

[crownandwriter]

Your pinned post says matchups are still open, so I’m taking my shot! But if you’re too busy or tired of all the requests by the time you get to mine, no worries. Tbh, I have almost as much fun reading other people’s results, especially when they’re as thoughtful and detailed as yours!

May I please have a Genshin matchup? I’m bi and use she/her pronouns; I’m fine with any gender partner. MBTI-wise, I’ve mostly typed as INTP with the occasional ENTP thrown in. I think INTP fits better (really, really well actually), except that I’m not (usually) that insensitive or socially awkward. I’m not one to chat up a stranger at a party, but I WILL go to the party and enjoy it (if only for free food/drinks, dancing, and maybe some new music), and if someone approaches me they’ll probably find me funny and a good conversationalist. If one of my loved ones is down, my instinct is to help brainstorm a solution to their problem or suggest nice distractions, but if they just want me to listen and comfort them I can do that pretty well. I do have a lot of trouble expressing my own emotions beyond the easy, shallow stuff, and I tend to get very frustrated and impatient when I see someone’s emotions holding them back from acknowledging facts or doing what needs to be done. That’s especially true when I feel like my own emotions of uncertainty or inadequacy are holding me back from the things I want.

More broadly, some words that describe me are imaginative, adventurous, independent, and I guess ambitious. Some might call me laid back, and I am most of the time, but when it comes to my major goals and dreams I’m actually really determined and honestly a little selfish. Like, if I were up against my closest friend for my dream job, I would still do anything (within the bounds of fairness) to get it, and if I lost I would have hard feelings about it (which I would bury deeply until I die, lol). I love, love learning and trying new things, and my ideal partner is someone who can surprise me and teach me stuff without making me feel like their student or sidekick. I want us to have fun together and help each other grow. My main love language (both ways) is quality time, but I can work with pretty much anything else except receiving a lot of gifts which makes me feel, idk, embarrassed? Or pressured to respond with the right level of of happiness?

Socially, I have a small circle of very close friends (many of whom are also family, including my younger brother and some of my cousins), a slightly larger circle of pretty good friends, and a lot of friendly acquaintances - people I like to hang out with, but would never feel comfortable being emotional or vulnerable around. If I have a conflict with someone I try to talk it out, but if we can’t come to an agreement I’m going to quietly do whatever I want. My most toxic trait is ghosting people, because saying goodbye/breaking up is awkward and inefficient, lol. On the other hand, I think my most attractive qualities as a friend/gf are positivity, spontaneity, and attentiveness to the other person’s likes, interests and dreams.

For miscellaneous, I’m 5’1” with really long dark hair (which I’m a little vain about, ngl), gray eyes, freckles, and (I’ve been told) a sweet face that turns super cold when I’m angry. My style is kind of flashy but practical, if that makes sense? Lots of eye-catching colors and patterns, but everything has pockets and I don’t do high heels. I’m a medical student, and my dream is to be a national delegate to the World Health Organization someday. I have a cat - if my partner doesn’t get along with her then we’re over, but she’s basically the laziest, friendliest chonk on the planet so it’s not hard. My hobbies/interests are games (video games obviously, but mostly board games), beer, cooking, dancing (like, club dancing, I’m not disciplined enough for the formal stuff), and movies, especially documentaries.

Thank you so much, and I hope this was enough info without too much rambling, haha.

I’m jealous tbh Sucrose is, like, the perect girl imo Just need to snip off that rat tail

I ship you with Sucrose!

-Sucrose is more logical than emotional, but not so much that she’s an emotionally unavailable partner! She’s rational, driven, and focused on her work...but, and it’s literally in her game title, she’s an absolute sweetheart. She manages her own emotions and troubles very maturely, communicates rather well, and is attentive enough in her few close relationships to be reliable. She will have her slip-ups occasionally, as everyone does, but she’s understanding about when this happens and when she’s hurt people, and does her best to make it up.

-She herself definitely more on the introverted side, and has a similar stance to you on socializing. She doesn’t always enjoy it because she tends to bring her scientific mindset into conversation and it’s often too fast-paced for her to think about the best ways to interact with people. She does like people, however. So she’s generally more comfortable in an observational role. If you take the lead on conversations, she’ll happily stand at your side and listen quietly--may even pipe in, if she likes the topic enough.

-Your goals, hobbies, and ambitions all line-up really really well! Sucrose would love for you to take an interest in her experiments, and would likely take an interest in your studies without any prompting, too. After all, part of her work in Bio-alchemy is testing how her discoveries much impact or benefit humans. Learning about the human body with you only stands to aid her research further. She’s a student herself, despite working mostly on her own, so she considers you an equal and asks for your help and advice as much as she rambles to you about all the cool stuff she already knows.

-She’d go just about anywhere with you, but by far her favorite dates are documentary nights at home, with pizza and other delicious junk food she doesn’t indulge in otherwise. Bio-alchemy has also led to Sucrose to be very conscious of what she fuels her body with for the most part. She’d also suggest various board games on these nights once she discovers your love of them! She’s fond of them herself, but not always so good. Don’t worry though, she’s not a sore loser. Especially if the wager is a kiss for the winner.

-She very much likes your cat! ...Not just because she’s a cat-girl herself. Sucrose likes all manner of creatures and studying them. She probably conducts various safe experiments on your cat with your blessing, but it’s anyone guess as to what she’s doing exactly. Once she gave your cat some very good brushies and then ran off with all of the loose fur clumps.... Another time she recorded her purring while giving some very good pets!

-Your spontaneity is good for Sucrose! It’s a given that she won’t love all the outings you have together, but she’s open minded and at the very least values new experiences! She has a tendency to stick to her comfortable routines, realizes she might get stuck in a mental rut if she never changes anything up. You’re a blessing for that!

Runner Up: Lisa ....but pls don’t, you and Sucrose are my otp now

[stilloutofmyvulcanmind]

#50 “Sorry I woke you up.” with Nathan Young? I need some fluff tbh.

Pairing: Nathan x Gender-Neutral Reader

Word count: 1389

Warnings: Swearing

“It shouldn’t be allowed to make us work outside when it’s so fuckin’ cold!” Kelly bitched as the group sought shelter back inside the community centre. Not that it was much warmer. The heaters had broken down weeks ago, and no one had thought to get them fixed because you were in the middle summer, and it wasn’t like it was the UK where the weather could change at a drop of a hat or anything like that. Oh, wait…

“We are being punished, guess they don’t care about making us comfortable,” Simon chimed in and getting an eye roll from everyone.

“They still got a duty of care or whateva, don’t they!?” Kelly groused, throwing herself down into a wheelchair and crossing her arms across her chest.

“Yeah, shut up, Barry! What do you know anyway?” Nathan grumbled.

“It’s…It’s Simon,” Simon protested.

“It’s Simon,” Nathan mocked, making a face. “Whatever, Barry.”

“Leave him alone, Nathan!” You shoved him just hard enough to make him stumble back a couple of steps and raised an eyebrow daring him to talk more shit. Luckily he knew better than that, so just huffed and pulled another face, and went to try and loot something out of the nearby vending machine.

“Thanks, Y/N.”

“It’s okay,” you smiled at Simon, clapping his shoulder as you went and got changed with the others.

Nathan was still at the vending machine when you were done, arm twisted up inside, trying to grab a dislodged pack of crisps. You frowned as you approached, hugging your jacket around you tightly. The sun was still up, but it was already close to freezing, with the night set to get even colder, and you didn’t like the thought of Nathan spending it here with no heat. The…thing the two of you had was still new, not much more than a few shared pizzas, and you didn’t want to overstep any boundaries, but you couldn’t help being concerned either.

“Why don’t you spend the night at mine?” You suggested, leaning against the machine.

Nathan bolted upright, eyes narrowing, “Why? You’ve not invited me over before.”

“Because it’s fucking cold as balls in here? And warm in my flat? I’ll cook us tea and we can have some beers.”

For a moment, he looked like he was going to say yes, but then Alisha and Curtis came into view, and you knew you were doomed. Stubborn prick was never going to admit he wouldn’t be fine by himself in front of the others.

True to form, Nathan spotted them and immediately blew a loud raspberry. “I don’t need any help! I’ll be fine right here thank you very much! My muscles’ll keep me warm!” Nathan flexed his arm, making a point of kissing the bicep.

Alisha snorted, “My gran has more muscles than you, idiot.”

“Let me meet her and she’ll get one more,” Nathan retaliated immediately, winking as he grabbed his crotch.

“Ugh, fucking weirdo.” Alisha rolled her eyes, top lip curling up in disgust. “C’mon, let’s get outta here.”

You watched the other two leave, before looking back at Nathan, “So that’s a ‘no’ I take it?”

“Yeah, it’s a no. Alpha males like me don’t need any such fancy commodities.”

It was starting to get too late to argue. You didn’t want to miss your bus and end up having to walk home. Rolling your own eyes, you sighed. “Whatever then. See you tomorrow if you haven’t turned into an icicle.” You turned and left Nathan by himself, waiting until you were in the warmth of the bus before sending him a text with your address. Just in case.

~

It was just after midnight when a noise woke you from your sleep. For a moment you thought you must’ve dreamt it, but then it happened again. A scrabbling noise and…grunts? Coming from the hallway. What the fuck?

Grabbing the bat you kept by your bed, you crept out into the darkness, slowly following the noises. You reached the doorway to the hall and peered around. You couldn’t make out much, but you definitely saw someone trying to worm their way in through the catflap the previous tenants had left behind. Reacting before they had too much of a chance, you jumped into the hallway, swinging the bat down on where you hoped the person was.

“Ow! Jesus Christ what the fuck!?”

You knew that damned accent anywhere.

Switching the light on, you found yourself proven correct. Lying on the floor, half mangled in the catflap was Nathan. “Goddammit, you bastard! Get out!” You helped push Nathan back through the gap, then quickly unlocked the door to drag him inside. “The hell were you doing?”

“The hell were you doin’!?” Nathan protested, rubbing the shoulder you’d hit. “You invited me!”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t expecting you to come at the middle of the night and break in through the damned catflap!”

“I didn’t want to wake you, okay? I was just gonna sneak in and crash on the couch, and not disturb you.” Nathan looked surprisingly sincere during his confession, and dammit, it was impossible to be mad at him when he was like this.

“Idiot. Next time just ring the bell like a normal person, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Nathan was still rubbing his shoulder, and you took a moment to actually take him in. He was shivering still, despite the heating running in your flat, though it wasn’t much of a surprise given he wasn’t in much more than a light jacket.

“Well since you’re here, you might as well come to bed.”

“The couch is fine…”

You raised an eyebrow, “You too chicken to share a bed with me?”

“No! Just wasn’t sure if you could handle sharing a bed with such a raw, powerful, sexy thing like me.”

Snorting a laugh, you shook your head. “I think I’ll be fine. Besides, don’t they say sharing body heat is the best way to keep warm?”

The trademark smirk crept back onto Nathan’s face. “Lead the way, m’lady.”

“Idiot,” you chuckled, taking his hand and guiding him back into your bedroom.

You clambered back into bed, watching as Nathan yanked off his clothes until he was just in underpants and a t-shirt. “What do you think?” He asked, lifting the front of his shirt and wiggling his hips.

“Eh, I’d say a solid seven out of ten. Maybe an eight at a push.”

“I am a ten!” Nathan acted offended as he jumped onto the bed and wriggled his way under the covers. He turned on his side, watching you in low light for a moment. “Sorry I woke you up.”

“You’ve not been sorry for a thing in your life.”

“Okay, yeah, but I am sorry about this.”

“Why?” You asked, rolling to face him. “You’ve pulled stunts way worse than this.”

“I didn’t want to piss you off!”

“You love pissing people off. It’s like your hobby.”

“Also true. But this is different.”

“How come?”

“You really gonna make me say it?”

“Say what? I have no idea.”

Nathan sighed, completely avoiding meeting your eyes. “I…I like you, alright? More than I’ve maybe let on. And I didn’t want to fuck it up.” The admission sounded almost painful, and honestly, it probably was. You knew him well enough to know that Nathan and emotions didn’t usually go well together.

“I like you too. Even though you’re an insufferable prick most of the time” you said, leaning in to plant a kiss on his lips before he had a chance to react. Nathan kissed back, unsurprisingly eager to keep it going, but surprisingly less eager to push things further. Probably down to the time and the fact he’d walked in the cold all the way here.

When you broke apart, you smiled at him, watching as he tried to stifle a yawn. “Let’s get some sleep.” Nathan nodded, and the two of you tangled up in each other’s arms, hiding away from the icy winds outside. “I’m gonna wake in the morning with a boner digging into me, aren’t I?”

“Definitely.”

You laughed softly, pulling the covers around you both a little higher and tucked your head under his chin. Nathan was definitely an insufferable prick, but Lord help you, he was your insufferable prick.  

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