#my writer brain just loves complex and interesting relationship dynamics even if I can't always 100% relate to them

[glorious-blackout]

I just finished reading "I'll See You On The Dark Side of the Moon" and my h/c heart loved it so much. Can I get the director's cut for that?

Also, I saw your tags on an anon post. I am also ace! I didn't think I'd run into any other ace Milex shippers here ❤️

Awww thank you so much! 💖 That story (and the whole Milex Big Bang experience) was very special for me so it always makes my day to hear from readers who enjoyed it!

I technically do have a 'director's cut' ending for this fic 😅 Because it was written and edited over a period of months, it had plenty of time to morph from a traditional psychological horror into a story that was more concerned with Alex and Miles's relationship and Alex's desperation to return home. This meant that by the time I got around to writing the first draft of the last chapter, the ambiguous ending I'd had in mind from day one was starting to rub me the wrong way, especially after the intensity of the events leading up to it. After a lot of internal debate and some feedback from my lovely friend who read the early drafts of each chapter, I eventually settled on a more hopeful conclusion which I still feel was the right decision.

Enough time has passed though that I'm happy to share the original ending for curiosity's sake - the only major changes were in the last few paragraphs of the chapter 😊

A soft thud rudely interrupts such pleasant fantasies.  

They break apart, rosy-cheeked and breathless, casting an eye over the bed until the source of their interruption presents itself. Miles’s battered copy of ‘The Restaurant at the End of the Universe’ has slipped from its perch and is now resting precariously against the bedrails, its pages splayed open and threatening to crease beyond repair the instant they hit the floor. Alex rescues it mindlessly - just in time to spare it from slipping through the gap - and brings it closer, recognising the neon imprint of the title from his childhood. 

Without really thinking, he flicks through the yellowed pages, glancing at the dense passages for only a moment before throwing the book aside, blinking away the faint stirrings of a headache. 

“You okay, love?” Miles asks, seemingly out of the blue, until Alex realises he hasn’t said anything since their untimely separation. He looks over at Miles, basks in his beauty in the sleepy morning light, and can’t quite bring himself to believe that he’s real. That he has chosen to spend the rest of his life with Alex of all people, when he could have anyone he wanted. 

“Kiss me again?” he asks, hoping that his desperation for reassurance is not as obvious to Miles’s ears as it is to his own. 

“You’re insatiable,” Miles chuckles, but his eyes are warm and his hand cradles Alex’s cheek with a gentleness that makes him want to fall asleep, safe in Miles’s arms. A persistent beep resounds in perfect time with the pulse drumming in his ears, and Miles’s eyes glance in the direction of the snitching monitor.  

“The nurses’ll be thinking you’re in trouble.” 

‘Oh I am,’ Alex thinks, but he elects not to mention it. Truth be told, he can’t bring himself to care, especially with Miles gazing at him as though he’s just unveiled the secrets of the universe. 

It isn’t long before Miles grants his request, kissing him with so much care and love that their surroundings melt into oblivion. Alex finds that this is a rather pleasant state in which to exist, and so he ignores his creeping exhaustion and the slowly awakening aches across his body in favour of letting his mind be consumed by the man he loves more than anything in this world and beyond.   

As he loses himself in the sweet taste of Miles’s lips and the pleasant burn of stubble against his cheek, Alex finds that he’s almost capable of forgetting the way Douglas Adams’s words had danced maniacally across the page, defying all attempts at comprehension. 

Almost. 

[sevenbroschillinginthebathtub]

This is mainly for Until Dawn Fans, it's a small analysis of characters, their tropes and everything around them, together with typing their MBTI (Myers Briggs)

I think we should we should start with the so-called protagonist, final girl

1. Samantha Giddings (ISFP)

When I ask people, who is their favorite character from Until Dawn, this lovely lady is the most popular answer. The question is why? Sam is very likable character, her personality is very suitable to the setting as she's the calm, kind girl, who supports everyone around her, calms down all arguments and doesn't start any. She's able to truly empathize with everyone and by the status bars in main menu, she's the only character who has good relationship with all other characters.

Obviously as a person, I think she's a very lovable girl, but as a character she's my least favorite. Why? Because she seems very bland in comparison with other characters. There is something I adore about Until Dawn- all the characters are made from popular horror tropes, but they have this special, realistic depth to them. And Sam doesn't. She's just the perfect final girl, the strong virgin protagonist, but that's it. I was analyzing her, all the dialogues, scenes with her, but I just don't see it.

It would probably be fair to say that she's a Mary Sue- everyone likes her(no one loves her), she's good at almost everything, smart, calm, kind, agreeable, but where are the flaws? We need flaws to make character 3-dimensional and relatable.

2. Joshua Washington (ENFJ)

Josh is the tragic antihero of this interactive story-game. He lost two of the closest people in his life at the same time. In the beginning we are introduced to him as to "complex, thoughtful and loving". These three traits are a great summary of his whole persona. We can play with these traits to fully describe and analyze him. Josh sure is very loving individual and before the death of his sisters, he was probably a great person to hang out with.

After the tragedy, all of these seemingly positive traits(complex is neutral) are turned to negative ones. The loss of his sisters, which causes his mental issues, makes him do very questionable things, just in the name of revenge. The therapies and medicine seem to help just for a very short time, while he carefully plans the whole "trip", together with all the traps and everything. It's very interesting that he is able to work under this mental state and turn his anger and misery to productive work.

3. Jessica Riley (ESFP)

Jessica is supposed to portrait the "dumb blonde" trope. I have to say that this is in my opinion one of the best written characters in the game. She perfectly suits the trope, but she's much more than that. Yes, I'm also talking about the dialogue when she reveals that she's actually deeply insecure person and tries to hide it with huge confidence, but that's not all of it.

The year, when Hannah and Beth Washington go missing, we can see her as the first character. She's the one who came up with the whole idea of pranking the two because she wanted to protect her best friend's(Emily) relationship with her boyfriend(Mike). But the next year we can see that she's dating Mike. What happened during that time? Why did Mike break up with Emily and all from sudden started dating Jessica? Don't take me wrong, I don't really care about morality of the situation, but why would she sacrifice her friendship with Emily to start dating her boyfriend? And she did not only sacrifice their friendship, they became something like enemies, as we could see and hear their argument.

4. Michael Monroe (ESTP)

There we have another trope, the "Casanova". The charming, handsome, confident and humorous guy. I'd call him "The heart of the prank" while Jessica was probably "The brain of whole operation". We can't forget, that the whole prank happened because of Hannah's interest in Mike. It's quite ironic, that the whole point of the prank was to save his relationship with Emily, but he left her anyway for someone different. Later on (if Matt insists on Emily, while she's hanging of the tower) we find out, that he cheated on Jessica with Emily.

Pardon me, but I'll use the quote "With great power comes great responsibility". Mike has the great power of charming anyone he wants, but he seems to be unable to keep this under control. And the worst part of it, is that he doesn't suffer from any consequences. Emily and Jessica end their friendship, become enemies, blame each other, but nothing goes on Mike. Emily seems to be very friendly with him, maybe too friendly, Jessica is dating him. And his "invincibleness" is making his ego grow bigger and bigger.

Another thing- Mike's development throughout the game was literally going from a popular teenager to Nathan Drake.

5. Emily Davis (ESTJ)

Emily is another character, who perfectly fits her trope- "The bitch". Again, when I ask people what do they think of her, the answer is always an extreme- they adore or despise her. I belong to the first category, as she is my favorite character, but I won't be biased.

Her personality traits are "resourceful, intelligent and persuasive" from which she has two in common with Mike(intelligent and persuasive). These three traits combined with low self-esteem don't go very well together. As we all know, most over-confident people are actually insecure and from sittings with Dr. Hill we know that she has a fear of failure, which just proves it.

She's very manipulative as we can see in her scenes with Matt, therefore she probably wants to have control over everything and everyone. We didn't get to see much of her and Mike, but these two must've had way better dynamic than her and Matt. Both are rather dominant, but Emily is less flexible and it's probably harder for to admit her faults. Another thing we know about her is that she's academic, since her GPA score is 4.0.

6. Matthew Taylor (ISFJ)

Matt is not the typical jock he was written as. He's portraited as submissive, kind-hearted, caring and sometimes even witty. I have to say, that he was very likable character, but he wasn't as complex and deep as other characters. He didn't get much of screentime, as well as Jessica didn't, but he was way more bland than her. It could be because of his sweet personality and everyone mostly remember someone who is sassy and loud than someone who doesn't really stand out in any way.

Another thing is, that it's very hard to keep him alive. Yes, there are people who didn't give a damn about Emily, so they saved Matt. But also the whole passage with him and Jessica (determinant) escaping from Wendigo can be tricky.

7. Christopher Hartley (INTP)

Chris is a nice bliss in all the darkness of Until Dawn. He's character is enlightening, humorous, smart and tries to keep his head cool. He's supposed to portrait "The Nerd". I appreciate that the writers for not showing him as some robot spitting out facts and dates, because no person talks like that, just nerds in badly written movies and series.

Big part of his character arc is his friendship with Josh and Ashley. He has nice and natural chemistry with both of them and it makes him show his caring side. I'm not really sure who he'd choose to save during the first decision making, but it probably would be Ashley, since he's very protective about her and during the second decision making, he would 80% save Ash (my subjective calculations) and sacrifice himself.

8. Ashley Brown (ISTJ)

I wanted to leave her for the end, because she's, at least for me, the most complex character in Until Dawn. Lot of people hate her because of her hysterical reaction, but she probably had the most realistic reactions and emotions from all eight characters.

Another reason why she's hated, is her choice of letting Chris die if he chooses to "shoot" her. Honestly, I think that this reaction and action of not opening the door for one of her best friends and letting Wendigo to tear his head from the rest if his body was spontaneous. She didn't want him to die, but felt a great resentment towards him and this held her from opening the door. But right the moment when the Wendigo got him, her expression clearly showed regret, because she didn't mean to hurt him.

Obviously, this is no excuse, only an explanation, which may lead us to forgiveness.