#myrandomthought

[sweetgirlisha]

i want to know what defines a person; what you like or what you think?

my father says, the answer is what u eat, but i disagree.

[shewolfqueen]

Kiss in the Wind

One day after he was gone, she sent him a kiss in the wind hoping that it would somehow reach him and he would send one back

She has waited and waited, but to no avail

There has been no answering kiss on the wind and now she wonders if one will ever come

Has she dreamt all the words he spoke to her

She will probably never know, and she sends another kiss in the wind with the hope that he is staying safe

*excerpt from my second book "Kiss in the Wind" available on amazon*

#book #writer #poems #myrandomthoughts #romance

#soulmates #oldgalwrites

[myrosejo-quotes]

🙃✍💭 “Sometimes, it feels that the heart ..... "

[gietalk]

Ada yg bilang, kalau hidupnya sedang dalam masa pencarian.

Kenyataannya, hidup memang selalu tentang pencarian, bukan?

https://www.instagram.com/p/B8WBzQonTL4/?igshid=1908u4fml0aiv

[somedancingpineapple]

If Susie and Noelle’s ship weren’t Suselle, it would’ve been Noesie. 

[myrandomthoughtsofrandomness]

His loss

The power went out for almost an hour. (It's very windy here tonight) I had no wifi and I didn't want to use my phone since I was already at 65% and we didn't know how long it'd be out for. (It's back on now) So what did we do, you ask? Well, we didn't have sex, THAT'S FOR SURE! 😡 If things were better between us, we could've. But no. He yelled at his dog for scratching, then yelled at me when I nicely said "I don't get why you are always yelling at her." His response you wonder: "You don't have to get it. SHE'S MY DOG!!!" Ugh. Such a jackass. She's an old dog and she's been showing her age lately. Hard of hearing. Low energy after dinner. But she is ALWAYS itchy. I recently had seen a commercial for dog medicine for the condition I think she has and he saw it too. He says he's worried about her and what to do when he comes home one day and she's passed. I say in a very carrying and understanding voice that maybe he should start taking her to a vet. It wouldn't hurt for her to have regular checkups. He had a traumatic experience with his childhood dog and I think he's worried that if he takes her in, he won't be seeing her again. She's doing well for an old lady, but she definitely needs a better diet and maybe take some medicine. Anyway, so after he jumped down my throat yet again, I decided to just head to bed early. I haven't slept much since I've been watching his daughter's cats the last 2 nights and they were staying with me in my room. Might as well try to catch up on some sleep.

He's such a moron! I offered him what alot of people who are single-and-going-thru-alot-of-shit would LOVE but he's not taking it. Fucking waste.

[myrandomthoughtsofrandomness]

My birthday

So, today (may 23rd) is my birthday and I spent most of it alone. Nothing new. I do most years. Except I usually am working a few coworkers do alitle something for me. He made plans with someone else for a few hours but we could've done something afterwards. After I helped with a quick favor,I took off and spent the day at the casino (i ended up in the hole but had fun and lasted a long time 😂). I had hoped he'd join me. But nope. He was pissed off about something that had just happened (I would've been pissed too. Like im pissed for him). But he was pouty the rest of the evening. He couldn't just suck it up and do this one thing for me. He told me he would take me out to dinner. Then, he invited his daughter. Nothing wrong with that except this was supposed to be just me and him. I had told him when I got home from the casino that I had wished that he had come. I had hoped to spend some time with him. He didn't respond. Asshole. So on the way to dinner, I said maybe we could go see a movie after. He said no that he just wanted to go home. Ass! I asked for one night. At dinner, he spent most of the night talking to her. She even called him out on his shit and said he was being anti-social 😂 I spent most of dinner talking to her (she's 18). He even took a picture of the 2 of them. He aaaaaallllllwwwwaaaaaayyyyyssss does this. He takes selfies and group selfies every time he's out with someone....... except (you guessed it) with me! I set up something a few weeks ago that the 2 of us went to and had fun doing. The owner asked to take pics for us. He said no. I basically had to beg this asshole to take a pic with me. Jesus fuck! What the fuck is with this guy?! Listen, I know that I am seriously fucked up in the head (boy do I have stories), and I know that he has alot of shit going on now and in the past, but it's like he lacks basic human decency sometimes. I think he does some things just to make him look good, like takene out to dinner on my bday. Like he felt obligated or something. Then he'll spend the next week working that into conversation so his family and friends will praise him and tell him that he's such a nice guy. Ugh. I can't stand people like that. You don't have to bend over backwards for me, but just be respectful. Don't be a douche.

[coldcartoonnaturefreak]

I just thought of something. Vampires are just the mosquitos of the human world.

[myrandomthoughtsofrandomness]

REALLY?!!!

He fuckin yelled at me for asking about his other dog! He complained about something she was supposedly doing that I couldn"t see her doing wrong. And I said "what she is doing?" and he just yelled at me just like last night saying "it doesn't matter if you don't kniw what she is doing. I know what she is doing wrong and she knows that I don't like it!" WOW! Right?! I KNOW! (if i had any thought that he would hurt them, trust me. I'd remove them from the home in a heartbeat! 99% of the time, he's awesome with them. But that 1%... it's like DUDE! CHILL THE FUCK OUT!

I made dinner tonight. Sometimes he does. Sometimes he eats out and I just make something for myself. Due to his current condition, there are veggies I love but he can't have and there are ones that he just doesn't like. Well, tonight, he was home, so I made plenty of food and I knew he'd like it. Well, he tells me he's not all that hungry. That's fine. An hour later he heads into the kitchen, makes a whole box of mac n cheese, and eats the whole thing. He could've at least tried what I had made, or fixed himself a small plate. He knows that me cooking for a guy is a big deal. I just think it's rude.

See? This is what I am talking about. He just doesn't think about this kind of stuff. Not considerate at all!

So, my bday is tomorrow. We talked about it a few weeks ago. He had a free spa treatment that he wasn't going to use, so he set up an appointment and I went a few weeks ago. That's when he said he's spend the day with me and take me out to dinner. Well, the day turned into him spending it with a friend who is only in town for the day (fine, I'm understanding), and the dinner is now with his daughter. (This is not a big deal like I'm being introduced to the family or anything, cuz I already have several times.) So, I can't talk to him tomorrow night like Ihad planned about how I have been feeling lately. I was surprised that he even remembered my bday since we made plans over a week ago, twice, and he doesn't rememeber or even have said anything about it. It's not like I can say no about his daughter coming. She called him and he was out on the patio smoking, then he comes inside and says "hey so -------- is coming with us to dinner tomorrow, if that's ok with you." It's one thing if his family wanted to throw me a party, but tthat's not what's going on. Which also means that before and or after dinner, they'll hang out. What about what I want to do? I'd rather just be living alone and spending it alone. I've done that most of my adult life. This is harder when someone you live with and says that we are friends treats you like shit. He tells me daily "thank you for walking and feeding the dogs." Today, he say me vacuum and said "thank you for your help. I really appreciate it." You know, the words are nice to hear, but he sounds forced and not genuine. Plus, actions sure as hell speak louder than words! He used to take me out a few times a week just to hang out, show me around town, etc etc. If he had been busy and with family and friends and hadn't seen me in a few days, he'd want to hang out. He'd even just watch whatever I was watching and sit with me on the couch. Now, he'll say that "we're hanging out" because we are in the same room watching sports. But he's in and out to go smoke, or he's glued to his fuckin cellphone! In fact, if it were me and him tomorrow having dinner, we'd be sitting in silence cuz he'd just be scrolling thru social media and chatting wiith his fucking ex!!!

I CAN'T TAKE HIS SHIT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!

[myrandomthoughtsofrandomness]

10 minutes of complete silence in the car. You haven't seen or spoken to me aaaallll day and you have absolutely nothing to say to me. How about "Thank you again for all your help this weekend." Maybe invite me out to dinner as a thank you. We haven't really hung out in over a week. The longest ever. Maybe offer to hang out tomorrow. I mean, that's what I'd do.

[myrandomthoughtsofrandomness]

You don't look at me.

You don't even notice me.

I mean nothing to you.

Yet you mean everything to me.

-myrandomthoughtsofrandomness

[myrandomthoughtsofrandomness]

Hair

When a woman dramtically changes her hair, it's usually after a breakup. But when a guy dramatically changes his (like shave off his beard) it's to impress a woman.

So, last night, I called him out on it. I asked him if his gf liked him beardless. He blushed and said he didn't know what I was talking about. Really? I'm not stupid. You're talking to your toxic exgf all day every day. Now, you shave off the facial hair so you look like you did when you two were together. Ugh. Just get it over with already and get back with her! Go be miserable with her instead of without her.

[myrandomthoughtsofrandomness]

RIP

He shaved his beard this morning out of the blue! It's not a full face beard, just a chin cozy. I thought he'd trim it, not cut it all off! The beard elongated his face and helped frame it. Due to his health, he lost a ton of weight and he wasn't looking great, but the beard kind of made him look healthier. It took me a moment before it dawned on me why he'd do this. His ex-girlfriend! The whole time they were together, off and on, he was pretty much hairless. They've been talking again for the past few weeks. She's toxic. He's been going backwards instead of forwards. Talking to people he said he was done with that are not good for him. Smoking even though that will keep him from getting his stem cell treatment. A few other things. Now this. When he was reverting back in the past, he was distant from me. When he was done with all of that and ready to focus on the positive and move on, he would chat me up non-stop. Now that we live together and are in eachother's lives in person, it makes things hard for me. I never know how he's going to be. A couple of weeks, he keeps to himself and is very secretive (more than usual). A few days, he's all about hanging out with me and I know that he's barely talking to her. Drives me crazy seeing him do this to himself. I figured recently that he's not the guy he portrayed himself to be for 3 years, and I can't get him to communicate and share with me. He's a bit of a narcissist. There's a ton I could say, and have said in other posts. So, I'm just focusing on myself. Working on getting a job and trying to get my life together. He might have opened his home to me so I have a place to live, but he hasn't really opened up his heart. He has the hardest walls to tear down, and I just don't have the energy to try. I,however, had my walls down from the moment we met in person. I recently put them back up. We may live together, and I still care about him, but I wouldn't call him my friend, as he doesn't call me his.

RIP face fluff....... and the man I knew you could be.

[myrandomthoughtsofrandomness]

Really?!

Twice. TWICE he went this week and never invited me or told me that he was going. You know that I like going weekly, but you never thought to ask me if I wanted to go with you, like we usually do. Of course not. You don't think of me. You don't EVER think of me. I have to BEG you to spend time with me and for us to go there together. You don't give a shit about it. You used to when I wasn't in front of you. Now that I'm a real person and in your daily life, you don't want anything to do with me. I hate that this is where we are now. I hate that this is us. And I'm starting to hate you. After 3 years and in less than 2 months in person, this is where we are. You have cut me deeply and you don't know or even care. I mean absolutely nothing to you. Nothing.

[nickolasthezombie-blog]

Berried Alive

Is probably the wildest emotional rollercoaster of a metal band I've ever listened to. What goes through this dudes head when he's writing?

[marielal0g]

TRY

I was once scared

To fall in love again

To let my heart beat for the wrong one

I decided not to love you

But I also wanted to try

That's why I woke up with a smile

Without you, I just can't live and love again

I always wanna wake up in your arms

Thank God for giving me this chance.